I was in a different dan-tan recently...
Mat Ryer:Where?
Adam Stacoviak:...and it was just a typical dan-tan. So cool...
Jerod Santo:So cool... \[laughs\] But he's not going to tell us where it was. It was too cool.
Mat Ryer:I've seen some amazing downtowns in America. I'm very well traveled.
Jerod Santo:I'm sorry, downtown? I'm not familiar. Do you mean dan-tans?
Mat Ryer:Dan-tans.
Jerod Santo:Thank you.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. So I've visited lots of them. And there's some really lovely ones in Colorado. This is like proper olden days.
Jerod Santo:Oh, yeah.
Mat Ryer:Probably all across the country.
Jerod Santo:That's right.
Mat Ryer:Where you feel like you're in a Western film.
Adam Stacoviak:Break that down for me, when you say "proper" and then "olden days". What does that mean?
Mat Ryer:Oh, it just means like for real olden days.
Jerod Santo:Like the Wild West movies that you've seen.
Adam Stacoviak:Just break it down. Break it down, though.
Mat Ryer:Right. So you've got like --
Adam Stacoviak:All the way.
Mat Ryer:There's basically like a lot of dusty area, wooden buildings, wooden building saloon doors...
Adam Stacoviak:Fine dust.
Mat Ryer:...there's a guy in there chewing tobacco... Yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:Did you see any of those -- what do you call those things?
Jerod Santo:Tumbleweed?
Adam Stacoviak:Tumbleweeds, yeah. Not dust bunnies, but tumbleweeds.
Jerod Santo:Just rolling through...
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Well, I get a lot of them in my normal life as well.
Jerod Santo:Really?
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Just after a joke, or a witty remark, sometimes I'll do a little rhyme, a little comment, something, and then, you know, just silence for a bit. You can hear it blow past. But it adds to the effect.
Adam Stacoviak:I'm thinking about crickets...
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Same. Same thing.
Adam Stacoviak:Tumbleweeds and crickets?
Mat Ryer:If you make a joke and no one laughs, if you listen carefully, you can hear a game of cricket being played.
Adam Stacoviak:Okay...
Mat Ryer:One of those rare things, yeah...
Jerod Santo:I would never play cricket.
Mat Ryer:No.
Adam Stacoviak:No. See, now - here again is a misfire, because I was talking about crickets, which is what you hear when you tell a joke when nobody laughs. Silence.
Jerod Santo:Where'd you go, Mat? Where did you visit here in the States? The state of Colorado?
Mat Ryer:Oh, yeah. Well, I lived there. I used to live there, in Denver and in Boulder.
Jerod Santo:Boulder?
Mat Ryer:Yeah, Colorado.
Adam Stacoviak:Say Boulder. How do you say Boulder?
Mat Ryer:Well, I say Boulder.
Adam Stacoviak:Say it again.
Mat Ryer:Boulder.
Jerod Santo:Can you say Boulder dash?
Mat Ryer:I can say Boulder dash, but I can't say --
Jerod Santo:It sounds cooler when you say it.
Mat Ryer:I don't think so. To me, you're the cool ones.
Jerod Santo:That's why I think we have a friendship, because we sound cool to you, and you sound cool to us... And it kind of just makes up for our overall lack of coolness.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah. I mean, if you sounded like me, I just wouldn't like you, you know? \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:Yeah. But Adam, I can't believe someone exists who talks like you at all. That's a thrill for me. Imagine that. It's like being in a movie.
Jerod Santo:It's awesome, Adam.
Adam Stacoviak:I guess so...
Jerod Santo:What is it about his voice? Is it the mellifluous sounds? Is it the words he's using, or the combination?
Mat Ryer:Yeah, it's just the whole sort of package, really.
Jerod Santo:He is the entire package.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:The whole package.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, \[unintelligible 00:05:45.04\]
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah. I love that. Well, ditto, Mat. I mean, I think if we had a world where your voice didn't exist, it would not be Mat's world.
Mat Ryer:No. My world, my voice.
Jerod Santo:We're getting ahead of ourselves, or perhaps we're trying to get ahead of ourselves... Because perhaps a world where Jerod's in charge, Mat's voice also wouldn't exist. Let's not reveal any spoilers. Mat, you brought a strange idea to us today...
Mat Ryer:Yeah, thank you.
Jerod Santo:Actually, you didn't bring it to us today, but you brought it for today.
Mat Ryer:Sure did...
Jerod Santo:Which is what? What's this idea...
Adam Stacoviak:"I'm coming over. Here's some toys."
Jerod Santo:...and how did you come up with it? And why are we agreeing to it?
Mat Ryer:Well, the why-ing we're agreeing, that's on you. And I do think why-ing should be a word.
Jerod Santo:I do whine a lot.
Mat Ryer:But you can't just make up words like that, can you? People look at you strangely, or there's a tumbleweed, or something...
Adam Stacoviak:I'm down with it. Let's introduce it. Why-ing. What does it break down to mean? Is it like when you're thinking about something, that's the process of why-ing? You're thinking about why it should or should not be a thing?
Jerod Santo:You're why-ing it. You're trying to figure it out.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, why is that? Yeah, you're why-ing it.
Jerod Santo:It's kind of like how-ing. Sometimes you how something... Other times you why it. So you're why-ing, or you're how-ing... Sometimes you're who-ing...
Mat Ryer:Well, if I owned the world, I'd be able to just make these new words anything I like. If someone's eating a sausage, I could say, "Yeah, sausage!" I could make that socially normal in this world.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] That one's not that weird.
Mat Ryer:No, it's not. It doesn't have to be weird, it's just what I like.
Adam Stacoviak:Tell me that's a throwback to your time in Germany.
Jerod Santo:Oh, yeah, Berlin, when they were all calling you bad names.
Mat Ryer:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Berlin.
Adam Stacoviak:Isn't it because \[unintelligible 00:07:35.16\] though? Wasn't there something involved with sausage?
Jerod Santo:Yeah. He said, "Yeah, sausage", and they said... What did they say, Mat?
Mat Ryer:They're like "Oh, we don't really -- we don't want to just be associated with that. We've got a lot going on also." So yeah, that's fair enough.
Jerod Santo:Didn't some lady call you a donka?
Mat Ryer:Yeah, everyone was saying like "Danke, danke, danke." But originally, I thought they were calling me names... But I didn't know that -- that just means thank you.
Jerod Santo:It does. Probably for leaving. Probably thanking you for leaving.
Mat Ryer:Well, they're a lot more polite than I'd originally experienced.
Adam Stacoviak:Oh, my gosh... The sausage bit. The sausage bit. Well, if you're not tracking, you should go back in time and listen to past shows... We can't catch up, I'm sorry.
Jerod Santo:\[00:08:18.12\] Yeah, that's just a callback that's just too deep in the stack...
Adam Stacoviak:It is a deep cut.
Jerod Santo:You're going to overflow. Mat, there's a strange dichotomy with British people, and you're my best example, because I know you probably better than any British person... And that's this politeness juxtaposed with tomfoolery, or like just calling names and being mean. So what's up with that? It's like there's like a polite society aspect, and a properness, and there's also like this underhanded "I'm going to call you a name, and you're not going to realize it's a bad word."
Mat Ryer:Yes. Well, I think what's really going on is -- there is the politeness thing, where if you bump into somebody in the street, you say sorry, even if they've bumped into you. But it's not in the same way that you might say sorry in other places, where you're sort of taking responsibility. You're not.
Jerod Santo:You're not.
Mat Ryer:Everyone knows it was their fault. Now, they have to also say sorry, and then everything's okay. Just socially. It's the social rule.
Jerod Santo:So sorry might mean like "It's your fault, and we both know it."
Mat Ryer:Yeah. It's like "Oh, sorry", but it's almost like a polite way of just acknowledging something's happened that shouldn't have happened, and you both say it, and then everything's okay. And then you haven't really had to assign blame, or anything. You can kind of just sweep it under the carpet.
Jerod Santo:Yeah.
Mat Ryer:But if the second person doesn't say they're sorry back, and it was their fault, that's the worst thing that can happen on the street. Or one of...
Jerod Santo:So them's just fighting words; fighting non-words.
Mat Ryer:Kind of, yeah. Although in London people are from everywhere, so you can never really assume... But if it's a British person that bumps into you and then you say "Oh, sorry", and then they don't say sorry, they just look at you or just carry on with their lives... They've crossed the line.
Adam Stacoviak:You assume they're a tourist then, maybe.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, maybe.
Adam Stacoviak:Maybe those folks are tourists, and everyone else is Brits, and those are the people that say...
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Although in London everyone's from everywhere, so it's kind of like...
Jerod Santo:You can't be from everywhere. You have to be from one place, generally.
Adam Stacoviak:You just walk around being upset then, basically?
Mat Ryer:You just sort of get on with it, don't you? But then there's the banter side, where you basically try and be... It's a way of making friends as you're sort of mean to strangers sometimes.
Jerod Santo:And friends too, right?
Mat Ryer:Oh, definitely.
Jerod Santo:More mean to your friends than you are to strangers.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Which explains why you're not very nice to me very often. I take it as a compliment, sir.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, you should do. But you have American friends that are just always just nice to you, and just say nice things like "Oh, neat hat, Jerod." Stuff like that.
Jerod Santo:I mean, I prefer it... But you know, those people are hard to find. \[laughter\]
Adam Stacoviak:Oh, neat hat...
Jerod Santo:"Neat hat, Jerod..."
Mat Ryer:Neat hat, Jerod.
Jerod Santo:Thank you, sir.
Adam Stacoviak:I like the word proper, in places -- I assume it's in the place of a word like good, or "I'm going to get something nice", or the best...
Mat Ryer:It's like real. If it's proper.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah. Authentic.
Mat Ryer:Imagine there's like a traditional way of making something. Yeah, it's authentic. And someone makes it that authentic way, you'd be like "Oh, that's a proper drink." Or someone will sometimes come out with a cup of tea that they've made, and it's horrible, because it's too strong, and they go "That's a proper cup of tea. Go on, get that down you. Get that down you."
Adam Stacoviak:What do you say when it's not good?
Jerod Santo:No, they just say it's proper, but they say it in a way that you know they mean the opposite. It's like the sorry thing. And then you say "Donka." \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:So would you guys like to come to Mat World?
Jerod Santo:Oh, yes. I'm sorry. That was a proper sidetracking. We sidetracked you... Back to Mat World. This is a world in which you decide, or -- what do you decide, Mat? What happens...
Mat Ryer:\[00:12:09.07\] Yeah. So I'm going to take you to Mat World, and it's basically a place that I've just sort of designed. It's my planet. I get to choose what it's like there. There's going to be interesting places, there's going to be some interesting food and drink to explore... And then maybe a new gadget, a new rule for society... And then something that you would just -- you'd just like to be a little bit different. Maybe it's like this world, but you would like it to be slightly tweaked. What would you do?
Jerod Santo:Gotcha.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Okay, so this is the idea here. Of course, we have Jerod's world and Adam's world waiting in the wings...
Mat Ryer:\[unintelligible 00:12:47.04\] visiting.
Jerod Santo:But this is Mat's idea, and you are our guest, so...
Adam Stacoviak:You go first.
Jerod Santo:Take us to Mat world. What is this place like, Mat world?
Mat Ryer:Let's go. Let's go, get in your rocket, put your seatbelts on... We're going to take off now. And in the unlikely event of an emergency, I want you to sort out your own masks first. That's very important. Don't be helping someone else. Oxygen mask. Okay? Don't try and help anyone else.
Jerod Santo:Oh, I thought we had to sort our masks, like we had more than one of them and we were going to sort them by size, or something.
Mat Ryer:Oh, I see. Yeah, this is the British -- sorry, I'll do the American version after. Yeah. If you're feeling unwell, there's a tiny little bag in the seat in front of you, in the seat pocket in front of you... So if you could please use that. It's really tiny though, so don't do any big -- you know what I mean...?
Adam Stacoviak:Just a little \[unintelligible 00:13:39.09\]
Mat Ryer:Yeah, just do a little one.
Jerod Santo:It sounds like Wayne's World. Remember that? If you're going to spew, spew into this.
Mat Ryer:Oh, yeah. That guy designed a lot of our hospitality on board the rockets to Mat World. Yeah, because it's a kind of funny world. It's kind of silly, isn't it? It's going to be my world.
Jerod Santo:Yeah.
Mat Ryer:I hope you enjoy your time with us. Remember to please visit the dungeon for over-engineers. This is a place where if you over-engineer things and make loads of complexity where it's not needed, you go in this dungeon. It's a simple thing. Harsh, but fair, I think. You have to build an MVP before you're legally allowed to build anything more complicated, otherwise you might not be able to build MVPs... And that's why we have the dungeon of over-engineers. Any questions about this place?
Jerod Santo:How do you get out?
Mat Ryer:You just have to build something really simple. But good.
Jerod Santo:Oh. Like a fizzbuzz, or...?
Mat Ryer:You can do. You can try.
Jerod Santo:Hello World.
Mat Ryer:I don't know about Hello World...
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] Well, does it get any simpler than that?
Mat Ryer:Hello Mat World you could do.
Jerod Santo:Hello Mat World. I like that one. Okay, so dungeon for over-engineers, and really small puke bags in the --
Mat Ryer:Yeah, but that's not part of the world.
Jerod Santo:Oh, I'm sorry.
Mat Ryer:That's just in case anyone's feeling unwell on the flight.
Jerod Santo:Gotcha.
Mat Ryer:When you get to Mat World, please, please do not forget to sample the delights of clever coffee. You play podcasts into the beans as they're growing, and then when you brew the coffee, that information actually can get into you, into your body.
Jerod Santo:Oh, wow. Like osmosis.
Mat Ryer:Kind of like that, yeah, but through coffee. And yeah, you just sort of get the knowledge. So that's really cool. You'd be like "Oh, I want to learn about politics. I'll drink some politics coffee", or maybe the Peruvian coffee, you can learn about Machu Picchu, or something...
Adam Stacoviak:Oh, my gosh... \[laughs\]
Mat Ryer:Maybe that's the place. Yeah, maybe. Would you like a cup? What would you have in your coffee? And wouldn't you like that? You could just have a coffee, and you'd get your API docs in your brain...
Jerod Santo:It sounds kind of amazing, actually.
Adam Stacoviak:I'm digging it.
Jerod Santo:I'm wondering about how diluted it might be... Because you're really just passing water through the beans. Maybe if you actually ate the coffee beans, you would just become all-knowing.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. I think it's just like caffeine, though. It only lasts that long.
Jerod Santo:Oh, it goes away.
Mat Ryer:\[00:16:10.12\] Yeah... You forget it.
Jerod Santo:Not as cool now. Nowhere near as cool. So you just drink it for your morning like coding session, and you just like know the Stripe API inside out, for instance, if you're drinking Stripe's coffee.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:And then you lose it later in the day.
Mat Ryer:You lose it. It wears off. Yeah, but you might be like "Oh, I'm going to write a Grafana dashboard. How do I do that? Let me drink the Grafana brew." And then you've got that, you've downloaded -- "Oh, I've downloaded the wrong bit."
Adam Stacoviak:Is this an advertisement?
Jerod Santo:He's sneaking it in.
Mat Ryer:No, no, no. I'm just giving an example. It's another example.
Adam Stacoviak:Gosh...
Mat Ryer:No, this coffee doesn't exist. It's not an advert. It's not a real advert.
Jerod Santo:Oh. It's not for sale.
Mat Ryer:You can't play podcasts into the coffee beans and then that information goes into the beans, as far as I know.
Adam Stacoviak:Okay...
Jerod Santo:Now, what if you played this podcast right here that we're recording into the coffee beans, and then drank the coffee? What would you know afterwards?
Mat Ryer:This entire -- everything we talk about in this.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] Some high-quality coffee...
Mat Ryer:Yeah. When you order them, I think, you choose the audio --
Adam Stacoviak:We call that proper coffee.
Jerod Santo:That would be proper.
Mat Ryer:Proper. Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Okay, so clever coffee... This is your best beverage.
Mat Ryer:That's the best beverage.
Jerod Santo:What else you got?
Mat Ryer:Well, while you're here, please, please try, if you can, the falafel wraps. They're lovely. There's nothing special about them. Just love a falafel wrap.
Jerod Santo:You have complete creative freedom to come up with anything that you want...
Mat Ryer:You can't beat it though.
Jerod Santo:...and you just go with a falafel.
Mat Ryer:The only way I think you could beat a falafel wrap is if you had a headache and you made the falafel wrap also take away headaches.
Jerod Santo:Well, why didn't you do that then? I mean, you can do whatever you want here, Mat. It's Mat World.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, because I don't have a headache.
Jerod Santo:Okay.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. And plus, there's going to be more regulations with that sort of food, isn't there? So I can't be bothered with that.
Jerod Santo:What about the clever coffee? I think they'd probably regulate that. Wouldn't they?
Mat Ryer:\[laughs\] Yeah, they'd try. But we're outsmarted them, because we listened -- we've had a cup of business strategy.
Adam Stacoviak:And what if you're drinking like the business brew, so to speak, and you get a comedic latte instead? You learn about comedy versus business.
Mat Ryer:You get a legal flat white, and then you've got yourself armed to the teeth, really, to represent yourself in court.
Adam Stacoviak:You have to have -- what do they call those...? Those builds. Deterministic builds? No, not deterministic. Where you know the build, end to end.
Jerod Santo:Reproducible.
Adam Stacoviak:Reproducible builds. You have to be able to reproduce the fact that -- you've got to document what knowledge went into this coffee, so that I'm not drinking some of your politics. I just want to drink some business brew.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, there we go. There's that whole --
Adam Stacoviak:Don't be slippin' no proper politics up in here.
Mat Ryer:No, that's it. That was -- there was that big scandal where they were worried about that, because everyone just suddenly got into wearing mullets again, and they were worried that someone had spiked the clever coffee. They look lovely, but --
Jerod Santo:I've been waiting for an explanation for this...
Mat Ryer:Yeah, that's what's \[unintelligible 00:19:19.29\]
Jerod Santo:That is plausible.
Adam Stacoviak:Sneaking it in. That's how you've gotta do it right there. Microdosing.
Jerod Santo:Microdosing the mullet coffee.
Adam Stacoviak:That's what it's all about.
Jerod Santo:Now, is it a podcast about mullets though? So first you have to find a podcast about mullets, and you turn that into the coffee, and then people grow mullets.
Adam Stacoviak:They're doing fade mullets now. We have like really high hair, a fade, and then it fades into a mullet off the back.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, it's a good idea.
Jerod Santo:Perms are back, too. Boy perms.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah. Those spiky fade mullets.
Jerod Santo:Keep going, Mat. What else you got?
Mat Ryer:Well, I'd love to show you -- well, if you want to come into my house and have a sit down, notice that the sofa doesn't have any legs. It's just floating. You're welcome.
Jerod Santo:\[00:20:01.14\] \[laughs\]
Mat Ryer:No, don't be scared. It's perfectly fine. Sit on it. It moves a bit more than normal. But sit down. That's not even it.
Adam Stacoviak:So when you sit down on the sofa it kind of moves a little bit?
Mat Ryer:Well, it does. It doesn't have any legs.
Jerod Santo:Is it hovering, or...?
Mat Ryer:Yeah, it's hovering. But it moves when you sit on it. It's like suspension, because --
Adam Stacoviak:Is there any way to make it not move? Like a lock?
Mat Ryer:The more expensive ones are more sturdy.
Jerod Santo:Is it loud? Is it displacing air underneath it?
Mat Ryer:No, it doesn't stand there. It just floats.
Jerod Santo:Alright. Awesome.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:Levitates. Then we'd call it levitating, actually.
Mat Ryer:What's the difference between levitating and floating?
Adam Stacoviak:That's a great question...
Jerod Santo:Is that a great question?
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah, that is a great question.
Jerod Santo:\[unintelligible 00:20:44.23\] that question is, honestly.
Adam Stacoviak:Never thought about that. If you're floating...
Jerod Santo:I think it's two different words that mean essentially the same thing.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, but there's got to be something different...
Adam Stacoviak:I think floating might be the act of like being a certain weight, and that there's neither pull nor push when gravity is concerned. But when you're levitating, you're resisting gravity, staying in the same position.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. So if it's density then, if you're less dense, you float. That's floating.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah. Because you're floating, you're buoyant with gravity.
Mat Ryer:Right. But if you are magically, or some other means, lifting yourself up... Okay. There we go.
Adam Stacoviak:Okay. So that's what your -- your sofa levitates, which is the reason for the movement.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, they just move a little bit when you sit down, and I'm just saying, don't be scared when you sit down. This isn't even my main gadget. I want to tell you about this new gadget.
Adam Stacoviak:I'm going into the details here. This levitating couch is -- stop the press.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, yeah. But it's good. Imagine big magnets.
Adam Stacoviak:Go. I'm ready. I want more. Give me the rest.
Mat Ryer:So I might've talked about this before, but it's coming back... Nightrider, or Sleepy Car, I call it. It's essentially you -- it's like a \[unintelligible 00:21:59.06\] You can fall asleep in a car, and it's a self-driving car... So if you wanted to go -- what's a place that's like eight hours away from where you live, Jerod?
Jerod Santo:Denver.
Mat Ryer:Denver. So you want to go to Denver for the day. It's a pain to do that now. But with \[unintelligible 00:22:16.24\] vehicle you can get in the car, it will drive you there while you sleep, you then wake up, you're in Denver for the day... You go back to bed in the car, it drives you back. So as far as you're concerned, you've just slept in a car - or slightly better than a car - but you've teleported, essentially. You have a day where you are now, and then the next day in Denver, the day after that back where you are now.
Jerod Santo:Yeah, I think teleporting might be a stretch. I mean, you're sleeping the whole time, right?
Mat Ryer:You're sleeping, but it's close to teleporting, isn't it? Because unless you're conscious of where you are every time while you're asleep... I'm certainly not. I don't even know I'm still in the bedroom.
Jerod Santo:I'm kind of appreciating how much Mat undershot on these. They're understated. He had a complete freedom to do whatever he wants. He comes with the falafels, and full self-driving, basically. This is a really good Waymo, isn't it, Mat?
Mat Ryer:It's basically a good -- it's a nanite Waymo.
Jerod Santo:It's a nanite Waymo... \[laughs\] Alright, alright...
Mat Ryer:It's a sleepy bedtime Waymo.
Jerod Santo:Mat World is like the current world we're in, but maybe like six months earlier or later.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Okay, I like it.
Mat Ryer:I hope so.
Jerod Santo:Yeah. I hope so too.
Jerod Santo:Except the floating couch thing. I mean, we're not quite there yet, but...
Mat Ryer:No. Well you can, if you have big, strong magnets... But I think clever coffees are going to be at least eight months off.
Jerod Santo:Clever coffee is a great idea.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Alright, so you've got a gadget which is a nanite Waymo...
Mat Ryer:Sleepy car...
Jerod Santo:Yeah, sleepy car.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, yeah. It's a hush-hush bedtimes vehicle van. You can get \[unintelligible 00:23:47.28\]
Jerod Santo:And you're a salesman, because you claim it teleports you, but what it does is it drives you places while you're sleeping.
Mat Ryer:It's like teleporting. It's the closest we'll get. I fell asleep on a flight to the US once. I got on the plane, they messed around, tried to warn me about not to put someone else's mask on...
Jerod Santo:\[00:24:05.11\] Yeah, you sort your own mask...
Mat Ryer:Well, I wasn't even thinking of helping anyone else at all, so I don't know what they're playing at. And they're like "Oh, do you want this tiny little packet of peanuts?" "Yes, please." "Would you like some even smaller pretzels?" I've never seen a pretzel that small. Have you? Anyway, this is just in my head, but this happens. So I get on the plane, I fall asleep, I wake up in America. That's where you all live.
Jerod Santo:Correct.
Mat Ryer:And to me, that was like two hours of my life, conscious. So that was like teleporting.
Jerod Santo:Yeah. I used to do all the time when we'd go on family vacations and I was a child. I'd just sleep in the car. You know, you leave your house, and then you wake up and you're there.
Mat Ryer:There you go.
Jerod Santo:So I'm excited for Mat World. What else you got?
Mat Ryer:Did you like that when you were a kid, doing that, Jerod?
Jerod Santo:I loved it.
Mat Ryer:Yeah... \[laughs\] See?
Jerod Santo:That's what I'm saying. I love it.
Mat Ryer:What has happened? You forgot about that love? Because \[unintelligible 00:25:02.26\]
Jerod Santo:No, it's just that just my parents were driving the car. I wasn't teleporting, really. I understand from my perspective; I get, a hundred percent, what you're saying. I'm just feeling like -- you know, complete creative freedom to invent a gadget. That's all.
Mat Ryer:Okay, good. So just to be clear, you're just making clear for your listeners that -- okay, good.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] This is your game, by the way, so... Just keep that in mind. Okay. What else you got? I can't wait to hear this rule.
Mat Ryer:Well, exactly. The laws are different on each of our planets, of course. And mine - there's a law that's actually quite a strange one, that was passed a few years ago. If you want a doc at work, you have to write it. Okay? You can't say "Let's have this doc", and then make someone else write it. It's a law.
Jerod Santo:It's a law. \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:Yeah. In Mat World.
Jerod Santo:Okay. This is a good one.
Adam Stacoviak:You want something written? Write it yourself.
Jerod Santo:You cannot request that somebody else write some documentation.
Mat Ryer:Yes.
Jerod Santo:You have to write it yourself.
Mat Ryer:You have to write it. And if you can't, because you don't know, then you have to find out in order to write it. Yeah. But it proves that you need it, first of all... Because it's easy to just imagine "Here's six docs we should have." That's easy.
Jerod Santo:Alright, let's play this out for a moment. So let's say Mat in Mat World, you write a new microservice. It's perfectly engineered, so you're not in danger of the dungeon... And I need to use your microservice. And it's got no docs. I can't come to you and be like "Hey Mat, you should write some docs for this."
Mat Ryer:Yeah, this is true. You've found an immediate place where this doesn't apply.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] I should write the docs.
Mat Ryer:I'm not talking about docs, really...
Jerod Santo:Oh, okay.
Mat Ryer:I'm talking about like a design -- I'm talking about like some pre-designed thing, or some... Write a doc that explains something about the system.
Jerod Santo:Gotcha.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Which - you have the knowledge.
Jerod Santo:It's one of these laws that there's like lots of small fineprint.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. It changed over time.
Jerod Santo:Yeah. Well, you have to adjust it as the world advances. Okay, so... Not a bad idea.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Tiny little law. Adam, do you like this one? Write your own docs.
Adam Stacoviak:I think it's probably hard to enforce.
Jerod Santo:Wait, what kind of consequences are there if you ask somebody else to write some docs? Three nights in the dungeon?
Mat Ryer:No, no. It's basically decriminalized at this point.
Jerod Santo:Decriminalized... \[laughs\] So it's a misdemeanor.
Mat Ryer:Not even, yeah.
Jerod Santo:Not even that. You're just fined.
Mat Ryer:It's like jaywalking.
Jerod Santo:Okay. So everybody does it. So it's a worthless law.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Alright. What else you got?
Adam Stacoviak:It's mostly a request.
Jerod Santo:Yeah. \[laughs\]
Mat Ryer:It is, yeah. And that's all laws are really, isn't it? They're just requests that like "Please don't pop his head off..."
Adam Stacoviak:"If you do this, I'm going to have to do that."
Mat Ryer:Yes.
Adam Stacoviak:"And you don't want that."
Mat Ryer:It's a good idea to have laws written in code though, I think. \[unintelligible 00:28:00.02\] the idea. It's quite a good one.
Jerod Santo:You should try that.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. And -- alright, the laws of physics aren't exactly the same on this planet, by the way...
Jerod Santo:Mm-hm... Good.
Mat Ryer:\[00:28:11.23\] I know what you're thinking, Jerod; you're thinking laws of physics are probably identical to Earth. Why would they be? This Mat World is different.
Jerod Santo:Okay...
Mat Ryer:All the rain falls in one go. Like, just down, like, bang.
Jerod Santo:Just a single drop?
Mat Ryer:It's just an enormous smash. Everything.
Jerod Santo:That's awesome. Finally, it delivers.
Mat Ryer:None of this delivery in little bits and pieces, and taking hours...
Adam Stacoviak:Just one big, massive drop.
Jerod Santo:Like worldwide?
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Just bang.
Jerod Santo:Does everybody get hit at once? Are there holes in it?
Mat Ryer:Everybody's wearing pointy hats.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] How do they know? They've got really good weather people?
Mat Ryer:They just wear them all the time. You never know when it's coming.
Jerod Santo:Oh, okay. Just in case.
Mat Ryer:You can see it, but...
Jerod Santo:Is that a law? The pointy hat law?
Mat Ryer:No, but of course you're going to do it. Otherwise you have to try and dive through it. Like a reverse dive.
Jerod Santo:So if you don't have the hat on, could it kill you?
Mat Ryer:It probably could. You could certainly get a slapped, red back. Have you ever jumped into a pool and just landed on your belly on top of the water?
Jerod Santo:I have, yeah. It hurts.
Mat Ryer:Belly flop. Yeah.
Jerod Santo:This is on top of your head.
Mat Ryer:Smash. All the buildings are pointy...
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] Okay, this has big ramifications.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. But you know, once it's done, you can go out for the day, do what you want.
Jerod Santo:Just one big drop.
Mat Ryer:It just comes down in one big slab.
Jerod Santo:Love it. Mat's World sounds fascinating.
Mat Ryer:Welcome. Have a coffee. This one's from Kenya, so you can -- this will actually teach you about the sort of rich experience of that country, and the rich culture... So have it. Enjoy. That's the Kenya one. Or I can offer you this cold blend from Brooklyn, New York. For half an hour you'll know how to look cool wearing a hat.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\]
Adam Stacoviak:This cold blend...
Jerod Santo:You've got some crazy podcasts in Mat World... **Break**: \[00:30:10.11\]
Jerod Santo:Alright, Adam, do you want to take us to Adam World?
Mat Ryer:I'd love to go.
Adam Stacoviak:I don't even think I want to do any more of this stuff... \[laughter\] I'm done with this imagining stuff... I don't know if I'll be as cheeky as Mat, but I will take it to Adam World.
Jerod Santo:Let's hear it.
Mat Ryer:I'd love to go.
Adam Stacoviak:I really struggled, because I was between a couple of different worlds here... But I figured I'd stay stereotypical and take you to what I would call Adam World.
Jerod Santo:Okay, let's hear it. Silicon Valley.
Adam Stacoviak:So am I supposed to read this script that you shared with me, Jerod? Is that the rule?
Jerod Santo:Mat sent me the script. Should he read the script?
Adam Stacoviak:He didn't read the script.
Jerod Santo:Yeah, he sort of.
Mat Ryer:I kind of did.
Jerod Santo:He used it as an outline.
Adam Stacoviak:Oh, okay.
Jerod Santo:You can read verbatim if you want, or you can do it like Mat did, or you can do whatever you want. It's your show.
Adam Stacoviak:I will do my best. Okay?
Jerod Santo:Okay. That's all we can ask for.
Mat Ryer:Please.
Jerod Santo:A lot of \[unintelligible 00:32:58.24\]
Adam Stacoviak:Welcome, gentlemen.
Jerod Santo:Thank you.
Adam Stacoviak:I didn't write that. Welcome, gentlemen, to Adam World. I hope you enjoy your time with us. Remember to visit the Silicon Valley Museum, and the food court, and try the Hooli Pied Piper burger today, and sample the delights of the uptick mineral water, which might reduce bedwetting. But first, can I introduce you to our favorite gadget, the most revolutionary compression algorithm ever that the world has ever seen?
Jerod Santo:Oh...
Adam Stacoviak:That's it. That's the script.
Jerod Santo:Middle out?
Adam Stacoviak:Middle... Middle something. I didn't name it. It was already named.
Jerod Santo:That's right. Alright, so --
Adam Stacoviak:The new gadget is a revolutionary compression algorithm.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:We could use one of those.
Adam Stacoviak:It remains unnamed. Like Voldemort. You can't say the name.
Mat Ryer:Right.
Adam Stacoviak:The new rule, new law is this: Everything is nothing, and nowhere, but also kind of everywhere.
Mat Ryer:Cloud.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah. Compressed.
Mat Ryer:Compressed.
Adam Stacoviak:And the thing I'd love to change most about the world that I live in is I want to live -- this is heartfelt, okay? This is hard to even say...
Mat Ryer:Okay. You can do it. You can do it, mate...
Jerod Santo:You can say it.
Adam Stacoviak:I want to live in a world where everyone can watch Silicon Valley in peace and harmony...
Mat Ryer:Well, this is very touching.
Adam Stacoviak:Okay, I've said it. I've said it. That's it.
Jerod Santo:Wow... Wow.
Adam Stacoviak:That's it.
Jerod Santo:Wow.
Mat Ryer:I like it.
Jerod Santo:That's all I can say. Wow.
Adam Stacoviak:Thank you for listening.
Mat Ryer:I'd like to be on Adam's World. I've just started rewatching Silicon Valley, and it's so good.
Adam Stacoviak:I'm proud of you.
Mat Ryer:How many times have you seen it, Adam?
Adam Stacoviak:Uh, endless. It's constantly playing in my brain.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. So if you had that compression alg -- by the way, you can't name it because the name is so small that it can't be spoken by humans? Is it compressed that much?
Adam Stacoviak:They wanted to call it FTL.
Mat Ryer:That's great. That is great.
Adam Stacoviak:FTL.
Mat Ryer:Faster than light. Yeah?
Adam Stacoviak:Faster than light, yeah.
Jerod Santo:Or For the Loss.
Mat Ryer:It's lossless, though.
Jerod Santo:It's lossy.
Adam Stacoviak:For the Loss is good, too.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\]
Adam Stacoviak:But it was actually Faster Than Light. But I like FTL For The Loss as well.
Mat Ryer:Or Flossy. Well, so if you had that for real then, what would that -- I mean, because we did have a bit of a problem before recording this, where my hard drive is unnecessarily \[unintelligible 00:35:57.18\]
Adam Stacoviak:Well, that would have never happened, okay? Because based on the new rule, new law, everything is nothing and nowhere, but also kind of everywhere.
Jerod Santo:\[00:36:08.01\] I don't know what that means.
Adam Stacoviak:Well, everything is nothing, and it's nowhere, because it's just so small. But it's also kind of everywhere, because it's so small it can move so fast. So this problem Mat had with moving his data and all that disk space issue is that it just basically renders disk space obsolete, because it's infinite. It's just -- the thing that something becomes nothing, but also something and everywhere.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. That's cleared it up. Yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah.
Mat Ryer:I've always found compression to be sort of bonkers, that you could just have a file and then do something and then it's a smaller file, and then do something else and put it back. It's amazing.
Adam Stacoviak:You know, sometimes I just uncompress and decompress things constantly, just to see if somewhere someone's pulling something over on me. \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:Yeah, that's good. We should find out --
Adam Stacoviak:It's constantly compressing, recompress, compressing, recompress. It's back and forth. One day I'll know for sure if they're truly compressing those things, and then pulling them back out and they work again.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:We'll never know.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Or they're just saving the main file in a different folder and you don't notice.
Adam Stacoviak:And that's why we have the Silicon Valley Museum. If we didn't have this museum, these critical cultural icons in our world today would just be gone forever.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:You would never know why, or how.
Mat Ryer:I thought this was the Silicon Valley -- now we know where it is. It's in Adam World. But I thought when you meant Silicon Valley, I thought you meant like the actual computer area.
Adam Stacoviak:Oh, yeah. Sorry, Mat. This is where you're sorely mistaken, man. This is the TV show.
Jerod Santo:You don't listen to the show enough, man. It's never the computer.
Adam Stacoviak:It's Silicon Valley, the TV show.
Jerod Santo:It's always the TV show.
Adam Stacoviak:Gotta keep it alive forever. It's rich in my blood, deep, deep, deep.
Jerod Santo:One time I tried to reference the actual geography of the Silicon Valley, and this guy dinged me anyways. He overruled it, and he just dinged it. He's like "Nope, that's the TV show." So... Good luck trying to talk about the geography.
Mat Ryer:Okay. No, forget it.
Jerod Santo:Not in Adam's world.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah.
Mat Ryer:Not in Adam's world.
Adam Stacoviak:Now, I don't know about you, but I'm just sick and tired of...
Jerod Santo:Is he going to start crying again?
Adam Stacoviak:It's tough to talk about, okay...? \[laughter\]
Jerod Santo:He's getting choked up...
Adam Stacoviak:I've got some friends, okay...? They're still a little scarred... They were trying to watch Silicon Valley --
Jerod Santo:That was too close to home...
Adam Stacoviak:...and some people came in the house, started throwing some things, okay? They were throwing things. It was not cool. No peace, no harmony... Trying to watch Silicon Valley.
Mat Ryer:So everyone is allowed to watch it... And that is the law.
Adam Stacoviak:No, no, that's not the law. This is the law.
Jerod Santo:Oh, that's the change.
Adam Stacoviak:If you want everyone who wants to watch it, you can do so in peace and harmony. Now, there was this cult, this uprising trying to abolish and get rid of and erase Silicon Valley culture and everything that this TV show stands for. And people were trying. They were on eBay, and they were trying to get the TV show.
Mat Ryer:\[00:39:51.14\] Trying to buy it?
Jerod Santo:Is that where it is?
Adam Stacoviak:HBO have revolted, there was insiders... It was a mess, okay? It was a mess. And then whenever you watched Silicon Valley the TV show, there was never any peace and never any harmony. And so the new rule is this, is that you have to abide by peace and harmony. You cannot disrupt. They will watch Silicon Valley forever if they want to.
Jerod Santo:It sounds like the Streisand effect.
Adam Stacoviak:I'm getting a little worked up now. Now, I was sad for a second there, but now I'm mad.
Jerod Santo:Well, maybe you should come to Jerod's world.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, Adam, it sounds like you've made a world that's really just tormenting you. Pop in the rocket. Let's go to Jerod world. Would you like an enormous pretzel?
Jerod Santo:Welcome, gentlemen, to Jerod world.
Mat Ryer:Oh, hello. Yay...!
Jerod Santo:I hope you do enjoy your time with us... Remember to visit the Lou, which is our Lou Gehrig-themed restaurant.
Mat Ryer:\[laughs\]
Jerod Santo:And when you're there, be sure to order the number two, which is the best chili nachos, smothered in baked beans.
Mat Ryer:Lovely.
Jerod Santo:And then of course, when you're all finished, you can wash it down with our world-famous cocktail. You're going to love this cocktail, Mat. It's an homage to Allen Iverson and his mechanical horse named TinTin. Sorry, this is too good. \[laughs\]
Adam Stacoviak:That is so good.
Jerod Santo:Yeah. You know Allen Iverson, the famous basketball player here in the United States?
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Well, did you know he had a mechanical horse?
Mat Ryer:Was it called TinTin?
Jerod Santo:Yeah. Iverson's mechanical TinTin. We call the drink IverMecTin.
Mat Ryer:Nice.
Mat Ryer:Does it come in a tin-tin?
Jerod Santo:Yes.
Mat Ryer:Like a Trojan horse...
Jerod Santo:And it'll finish you off nicely after that number two.
Mat Ryer:Oh, yeah. It sounds big, that number two, as well.
Jerod Santo:It is big.
Mat Ryer:It sounds really big.
Jerod Santo:Yeah. You almost can't finish it in one sitting.
Mat Ryer:Right, yeah.
Jerod Santo:Now, that's just our fine cuisines. But we also have amazing new gadgets...
Mat Ryer:Oh, I'd love to hear about your gadget. Is it better than a levitating chair or a sleepy nighttime car?
Jerod Santo:Yes, I think it might be more useful than a really good Waymo.
Mat Ryer:Oh, yeah?
Jerod Santo:This is called the dis-incinerator. And it does exactly what it sounds like. It's the opposite of an incinerator. It's so useful. So if you have a great campfire and you want to do it again... Same wood. Just disincinerate it. California wildfires? No need to rebuild your home. Just disincinerate your home. Right back to good as new.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Or the Amazon forest ravaged by loggers? First, you have to incinerate the logs...
Mat Ryer:Right.
Jerod Santo:...and then let's get those trees back in the ground with the disincinerator.
Mat Ryer:Right...
Jerod Santo:I think you get the point.
Mat Ryer:This is very good. And grandma?
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] That's right. Oh, yes... The ultimate of disincinerating values is your loved ones.
Mat Ryer:Bring them back.
Jerod Santo:As long as they don't choose traditional burial, we can disincinerate them, too.
Mat Ryer:This is exciting, because I sometimes burn things and then think afterwards "I shouldn't have burned that."
Jerod Santo:I think we all do that from time to time, don't we?
Mat Ryer:It happens. Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Pretty good gadget.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. This is a good gadget.
Jerod Santo:Thinking outside the box, you know? Not just renaming existing vehicles, but just brand new things.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Of course, there are some people who would not like this disincinerator. Serial killers...
Mat Ryer:Oh, yeah... It's annoying for them.
Jerod Santo:Or people with really mean grandmas...
Mat Ryer:Some grandmas are horrible.
Jerod Santo:\[00:43:57.21\] Yeah. And you just want to leave them as they are, as they lay, or as they lie. Liars, they are. But for everybody else, there's the disincinerator.
Mat Ryer:This is it, yeah.
Jerod Santo:This is my gadget. I've got nothing else there. That's how Jerod's World works.
Mat Ryer:I once made a pizza, and I didn't really know what I was doing, so I sort of put it under the grill, which is the broil thing in the U.S, I think... You know, where t's just got the heat on the top...
Jerod Santo:Sure.
Mat Ryer:And I thought "That's kind of like a pizza oven", but I was essentially just grilling, or toasting a pizza, a frozen pizza. And anyway, to cut a long story short, it was on fire. It was very quickly on fire.
Jerod Santo:Yeah.
Mat Ryer:And I knew it was a spicy pizza, but I don't think it was meant to be on fire. And certainly, when I checked the box, it said nothing about that. If anything, it implied it wouldn't be on fire. Like, it didn't say it explicitly, but yeah, you just can read between the lines.
Jerod Santo:Yeah, you can't return it at that point, unless you had a disincinerator. Now, in that case, I think it pays for itself.
Mat Ryer:You can just take cooking too far and then just rewind it, basically.
Jerod Santo:You can get yourself a disincinerator for four easy payments of $29.99, and one really hard payment. So... Just look out for that one.
Mat Ryer:Same amount, but you have to pay in pennies.
Jerod Santo:That's right. You know, your check's going to get lost in the mail, your bank account's going to bounce... Something's going to go wrong on that last one.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Put the wrong number in. When you try to put your destination bank account number, you put it all in correctly, but you got something wrong in the address, so it'll just slow you down. \[unintelligible 00:45:36.07\] the system has been flagged, but it's bank holiday. It's a long weekend.
Jerod Santo:Shout-out to Mitch Hedberg. That's an old Mitch Hedberg gag that he does quite a bit better than I do... And if I can disincinerate him, I certainly would. Alright, now, there are some new rules here in Jerod world.
Mat Ryer:Uh-oh...
Jerod Santo:We don't live after the same rules that you all live by.
Mat Ryer:This is going to be dark... This is going to make Adam cry.
Adam Stacoviak:\[laughs\]
Jerod Santo:Here's what we're going to do. We're going to return to champions. We're going to bring back champions. In Jerod world we do not wage war by killing millions of young men, women, innocent children. All disputes are resolved by champions. Just like we used to do in the neighborhood growing up. You know, my dad can beat up your dad, that kind of a thing. Or the old school David versus Goliath - send out your best, we send out our best, and whoever wins, wins the dispute.
Mat Ryer:Is David the best one? Because that statue of him, he's got no arms. Have you seen it? In Italy? If that's the best they had...
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] Yeah. I think Michelangelo screwed that part up. Didn't he? Or is that --
Mat Ryer:And he didn't have any clothes. He's got his willy out. He can't go to battle --
Jerod Santo:All he needed was five smooth stones, I guess, but not any --
Mat Ryer:He just had two. \[laughter\]
Jerod Santo:You must've read a different account. So yes, this is the old champions. Here's how it would work. Now, I got practical here. I want to actually explain this, because you can't just come out and say whoever's champion wins, wins. I still do not want there to be murder. Okay? So there's no -- all wars now are done this way instead. And it is based on champions. How it works is each disputing group will pick their contest. Okay? It could be MMA, it could be Wii Sports, chess, vibe-coding, whatever.
Mat Ryer:Right.
Jerod Santo:There's nine events, and the smallest population picks first, because they need a little help.
Mat Ryer:Right.
Jerod Santo:And then each contest has a new champion. So you name, "Here's our vibe-coding champion. Here's our chess champion." And they battle it out. First one to five wins the dispute. Here's the kicker though... Each champion that loses is disqualified from ever being a champion in that category ever again, and so choose wisely. What do you think? This would work, right?
Mat Ryer:I mean, I think we should do this just as a TV show.
Jerod Santo:I think we should.
Mat Ryer:\[00:48:02.07\] Yeah.
Jerod Santo:It's kind of like the Olympics, but higher stakes, and more categories.
Mat Ryer:And more random categories.
Adam Stacoviak:What are the rules in that last part again? How does that go?
Jerod Santo:Well, you've got nine... So let's say it's a United States versus Great Britain, for instance.
Mat Ryer:Oh, come on. That'd never happen.
Jerod Santo:I know it wouldn't, but just for giggles.
Mat Ryer:Hilarious.
Jerod Santo:Yes... So we would pick a -- we have a bigger population, so they would pick a category, probably cricket...
Mat Ryer:Could be.
Jerod Santo:Probably a surefire win for them. I mean...
Mat Ryer:It could be the Beatles, and then we put Paul McCartney in...
Jerod Santo:It could be. Yeah, if he's still kicking... We'd put Willie Nelson against him, see what happens...
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Fair enough.
Jerod Santo:But they would pick cricket, we don't have any cricket players... We might just give them that one. We're like "Fine, whatever. You win that category." And then we would pick a category, and you could name pretty much any other game of skill. And then we would have more people on that one. And then they would pick one...
Mat Ryer:You say burgers, and we're like "We'll let them just have that one."
Jerod Santo:Exactly. \[laughs\]
Mat Ryer:Pick your battles...
Jerod Santo:Apple pie, or a pie baking contest... Yeah, so food, we pretty much win. But it could be like Fortnite... I'm sure there's probably some really good Fortnite players over there. Curling...
Mat Ryer:Yeah, even minesweeper.
Jerod Santo:Mnesweeper... Yeah, there's whole kinds of e-sports that can move into this. And then whoever wins is best of five. So you've got nine different events... So it can go four to four, all the way down, and whoever wins the last one wins the dispute. So whatever we're disputing about, be it land, or money, or how many u's to put in the word favorite - I'm looking for zero - we win, or they win. And that's it. The dispute's over. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It's over.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. I think everyone could get behind that. It'd be like "Okay, fair enough... We're all going to \[unintelligible 00:49:54.02\]
Jerod Santo:It'd be great entertainment, too. They're already trying to entertain us with these monstrosities, right? They're like showing us war, and stuff...
Mat Ryer:Yeah, it's horrible.
Jerod Santo:How about like something fun?
Mat Ryer:Yeah. I like this idea.
Adam Stacoviak:We have to get the violent people to really buy into this idea. I don't think it's the --
Jerod Santo:Well, it's Jerod World, so I just dictate it. Like, this is just how the world works.
Adam Stacoviak:Oh, okay. Yeah, that's true.
Jerod Santo:You have to. Yeah.
Mat Ryer:This is a good one. It puts my docs one into sharp perspective, doesn't it? That one really seems unimportant now.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] Yeah. Yeah, it sure does.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:In fact, if you had a dispute over docs - well, we would just champion it, you know?
Adam Stacoviak:And I think in this world it's probably pretty easy to watch Silicon Valley the TV show in peace and harmony.
Jerod Santo:I think yeah, you might exist happily in this world, Adam.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah. It's not -- no need for tears. No need for sessions, and groups, and...
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:...fellow Silicon Valley people to cry with.
Mat Ryer:Well, it's the AI best friend, it's helping you through it.
Adam Stacoviak:It's a thing of the past... What a beautiful world, Jerod...
Jerod Santo:So I've described to you guys my gadget, which is the disincinerator. I've told you my new rule, which is a return to champions and skill-based competition to settle disputes... My thing I would like to change - and Mat, you did say this does not include physics. I can just do whatever I want, right?
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Anything you want, mate. Don't forget, I have the big rain that all comes down in one go.
Jerod Santo:Yeah. That was epic. I might adopt that. Can I adopt some of your stuff? Well, let me just go a little bit bigger than that even, and say everything that tastes good - ice cream, Snickers, the extra large number two from Lose... They're all actually good for you.
Mat Ryer:Right.
Jerod Santo:And everything that tastes bad - cucumbers, or cucumbers gone bad a.k.a. pickles, avocados... You know gross stuff - they're actually bad for you.
Mat Ryer:Right.
Jerod Santo:So this is not a creative one, because I think a lot of people would like this... But it really is going to bring people into Jerod World. Because wouldn't it be amazing if the best things, that tasted the best to you, actually were the best for you? Wouldn't that just be epic?
Mat Ryer:\[00:52:02.10\] Yeah, it would be epic. I think a lot of people would be happy with that, and I don't want to take anything away from them... But just for me, just only speaking just for me personally, I don't really like cakes, and that... And the stuff I like is good for you stuff. Like, I love avocado. Cucumber? Oh yes, please. Pickled. Hello?
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] Well, you must be pretty healthy then.
Mat Ryer:I think I am, but not deliberately.
Jerod Santo:Yeah. Just because you like the taste of good things.
Mat Ryer:I think by accident. Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Well, here's the thing - I didn't describe how it works especially. I was naming things that I think taste good or bad. But it's completely subjective. So whatever you think tastes good is good for you.
Mat Ryer:Ah, here we go.
Jerod Santo:Yeah. So I win everybody with that, right? Like, who's going to not want that?
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah, I think so.
Jerod Santo:It's kind of like what they did in The Matrix. They made steak taste so good that you just wanted to go red pill.
Adam Stacoviak:So this is a personal preference thing. This is not a "I make your food taste bad, you make my food taste whatever."
Jerod Santo:Whatever tastes good is good for you. And that's you personally.
Mat Ryer:So all your favorite stuff that's guilty pleasure.
Jerod Santo:Everything that's good is good.
Adam Stacoviak:So let's say I have a bag of Swedish fish.
Jerod Santo:Swedish?
Adam Stacoviak:Swedish, Swedish fish... Known to have Red 40 in it.
Jerod Santo:Okay...
Mat Ryer:What the heck is Red 40?
Adam Stacoviak:Let me tell you about Red 40...
Mat Ryer:Tell me about it, man...
Adam Stacoviak:What is Red 40? Let's see how biased this is. This is DeepSeek R1.
Jerod Santo:It's going to tell you what China \[unintelligible 00:53:39.26\] Red 40 is.
Adam Stacoviak:What is Red 40? Thinking... Red 40, also known as Allura Red AC, is a synthetic red dye widely used in food, beverages, cosmetics and pharmaceuticals.
Mat Ryer:Right.
Jerod Santo:Okay.
Mat Ryer:Okay. And you like that, don't you?
Adam Stacoviak:It is known to have health concerns, hyperactivity in children \[unintelligible 00:54:01.29\] in some studies to electric reactions... And some of the stuff, I don't know. Whatever.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:Anyways --
Jerod Santo:It's bad for you.
Adam Stacoviak:It's approved in the US, not apprroved everywhere else.
Jerod Santo:Not in Jerod World... Not in Swedish fish, and Jerod World.
Mat Ryer:Well, it's good for you in your world, isn't it, Jerod?
Jerod Santo:That's right. I mean, this is just how it works.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah. Well, I mean, the point is you've got Swedish fish, Red 40... I think it tastes good. They're pretty solid.
Jerod Santo:I've never had them.
Adam Stacoviak:In Jerod world they don't taste good? Or is it up to me for them to taste good?
Jerod Santo:If it tastes bad to you, it's bad for you. It's a simple equation. If it tastes good to you, it's good for you.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. So your Swedish fish would be good for you. The doctor would be like "You make sure you're getting enough Swedish fish... You get that Red 40. You need that Red 40."
Jerod Santo:That's right.
Adam Stacoviak:So you're telling me it tastes good to me, good for me, no matter what.
Jerod Santo:Exactly. I mean, this is a win, win, win. There's no losing here. I mean, you would just want this real change. This is why I changed it.
Adam Stacoviak:So let's say you've got somebody who's like really down with broccoli.
Jerod Santo:They're down with it.
Adam Stacoviak:They're down with the broccoli.
Jerod Santo:They love it. So good for them.
Adam Stacoviak:In the past they'd say things like "I wuv you, broccoli. I wuv you, broccoli."
Jerod Santo:Okay, so they have a speech impediment kind of a thing?
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:Okay.
Adam Stacoviak:No... \[laughs\]
Mat Ryer:Like a children cartoon.
Adam Stacoviak:This is a dated -- that was a dated caricature of the person. That was when they were seven.
Jerod Santo:I didn't know you dated \[unintelligible 00:55:35.14\]
Adam Stacoviak:Maybe four, or three.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\]
Adam Stacoviak:I wuv you, bwoccoli.
Jerod Santo:Go ahead, do it again. He wants to do it again. Go ahead...
Adam Stacoviak:I love you, broccoli... You taste like candy.
Jerod Santo:Okay.
Adam Stacoviak:So if you love broccoli, it tastes like candy - good for you. No matter what.
Jerod Santo:It's good for you. It's not a complicated algorithm. There's no holes in this algorithm. You can't poke a hole in it. Alright, so who's moving where? That's what we've gotta know. Who's moving where? Now, I kind of want this -- I think my world's the best, but I really do want Mat's all the rain at one moment thing. So I'm kind of on the fence there..
Adam Stacoviak:\[00:56:18.21\] And you know you want people watching Silicon Valley in peace and harmony, man.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] I'm not against that.
Adam Stacoviak:You know that's your goal...
Jerod Santo:That's not my goal in life, but I do want them to have that freedom. So yeah. I mean, all these worlds sound pretty good. What I'm kind of bummed about is we don't have any musical accompaniment for any of this. Mat, can you sing -- how about theme songs? I mean, now you know our worlds, you've heard everything about Mat World, you've heard about Adam World...
Adam Stacoviak:Merge the worlds via song, brother.
Jerod Santo:...everything about Jerod World... Maybe a ditty for each, or one that encompasses all three... Whatever you're thinking here. Get that guitar out.
Mat Ryer:Right, let's do it. Let's go on a trip around this weird solar system. \[00:57:02.01\] *Won't you come with me, please... On a big, big journey... We'ree gonna make sure you put your own mask on first, before you help anybody... You can sit on a floating sofa... You can ride a sleepy car... If you want to write docs, though - you're the only one who has to do it... Okay... Because all the rain falls in one go... Everybody wears pointy hats... And all the cars are pointy, and all the buildings are also pointy... Why? Why? Well, it's because because... Because of the rain...!* *Do you like Silicon Valley...? If you do, you're going to like this place. You can watch it anytime you like, in peace and harmony... If you don't like it though, I don't know what happens to you... I assume that it's not great, maybe you'll get shunned...* *Or we can go to Jerod World now... Jerod World... Where all things you eat that are nice, that means they're good for you... Like, you could eat a bad, bad sandwich, but you like it anyway... Well, I've got news for you. Were you paying attention? That sandwich is now good for you. You're gonna like Jerod World... And if you don't, just get in the rocket, we'll take you to space, take you back home... Would you like a little packet of pretzels...? In the event of an emergency, please put your own mask on before helping anyone else...*
Jerod Santo:Very nice. Very nice. Ooph...
Mat Ryer:\[01:00:07.00\] Ooph indeed. That's the sort of reaction you look for after a song.
Adam Stacoviak:Not one mention of compression. Sad.
Mat Ryer:Pardon?
Adam Stacoviak:Not one mention of compression, man.
Mat Ryer:Oh, yeah. Well, it was in there...
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] You're so disappointed. You might start crying again.
Mat Ryer:No, it was in there, between all the words.
Jerod Santo:Yeah, he compressed it.
Mat Ryer:Oh, I sure did.
Adam Stacoviak:This is not what we call peace and harmony.
Mat Ryer:I got out of that so good... I got out of that... Because of the compression thing.
Jerod Santo:I think Mat really highlighted his points more than ours. Don't you think, Adam?
Adam Stacoviak:He did. He was favoring his pointed hats, and the pointed cars...
Jerod Santo:He even brought back the little pretzels... It's like, none of us were talking about pretzels but Mat.
Adam Stacoviak:I don't know about you, but when he said --
Jerod Santo:I mean, no mention of a disincinerator at all... Coolest gadget of the three.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. I forgot about it. I was trying to remember that stuff, but... What I should have done is written it down.
Jerod Santo:That would have been good. We gave you plenty of time, you know? I mean, Adam cried for a good 45 seconds.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, I know. But that was just so touching. It was like watching a Morgan Freeman film. At the end, where he does a long speech, he tells you all about something...
Jerod Santo:Which one's that?
Mat Ryer:All of them. It's like "I'm Morgan Freeman, and I'm going to tell you now about this moral of the story." That sort of thing.
Jerod Santo:Right.
Mat Ryer:Is that right?
Jerod Santo:What's probably your favorite Morgan Freeman movie?
Mat Ryer:I like that one where he's God. Bruce Almighty. That's a good one.
Adam Stacoviak:Such a short role, though.
Mat Ryer:God...
Jerod Santo:Yeah, but important.
Adam Stacoviak:I mean, he wasn't really in the film a lot.
Jerod Santo:Well, you know...
Mat Ryer:Not bad. He only really did his thing for a week there, didn't he? And it took him a week to build all the Universe and all the people and everything.
Jerod Santo:That's right.
Adam Stacoviak:That's right.
Mat Ryer:Bruce Almighty, on the other hand, had to do loads of work, and he had to keep his main job.
Adam Stacoviak:A lot of emails...
Jerod Santo:A lot of emails.
Mat Ryer:Yes.
Jerod Santo:I think that movie pales in comparison to Shawshank Redemption, which is one of the best movies of all time.
Mat Ryer:That's probably true. It's often in the lists of top movies.
Jerod Santo:It is, because it's just that good.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, and it really is good too, so... It's fair enough.
Jerod Santo:Yeah. Sometimes you'll have a popular album and you're like "Yeah, I don't really like that band, because everybody else likes them." Like, of course, you're going to pick Godfather 2, you know?
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah, Shawshank really is the --
Jerod Santo:But it's like, Shawshank is just so good you can't even get mad at people.
Adam Stacoviak:\[unintelligible 01:02:24.12\] I think because it's so long.
Jerod Santo:Shawshank's long?
Adam Stacoviak:It's a pretty long movie. It's not a short movie.
Jerod Santo:No.
Adam Stacoviak:It's not a three-hour movie, but it's long.
Mat Ryer:I heard it was a flop when it first came out, and people were like "Meh." And then it just grew and grew. It was one of those. It wasn't like a big opening weekend. Not like, you know, \[unintelligible 01:02:42.15\] the Fast and the Furious cars.
Jerod Santo:Right.
Mat Ryer:Or those angry cars. You know, Marvel.
Jerod Santo:Right.
Mat Ryer:But Shawshank is great.
Jerod Santo:Well, I think that Shawshank can probably thank TBS, or perhaps TNT - which might be the same company, I don't even know - because its rise to fame really was over like the course of 10 to 15 years when it was just on... Like, TBS on a Saturday afternoon; probably every Saturday or Sunday, for years. And it gave an entire generation an opportunity to watch it, and watch it over and over again, and just fall in love with it. Because yeah, it wasn't like it changed the world when it was in theaters, or anything.
Mat Ryer:But it's classic. And if you look at those lists, which I sometimes do, and I'm like "I'm going to start at the top film of all time", which is usually a Godfather or two...
Jerod Santo:Yeah.
Mat Ryer:...and go down the list until I haven't seen one, and then that's the one I have to then watch. And honestly, they really are all good. That is true. When they're in the top 50 films of all time or whatever, they're probably all pretty good films.
Jerod Santo:Yeah, they're all really stinking good.
Mat Ryer:And if you're the guy in the room going "Oh, I don't like that one, because --", you're probably wrong.
Jerod Santo:Yeah.
Mat Ryer:Yeah...
Jerod Santo:\[01:04:04.15\] But let me do that for a second. Okay, so Citizen Kane, though. That one's well-known, top number one, and that's the one I'm always like "Yeah, I've seen it, but I wouldn't go back and watch it." I appreciate it for its quality, whatever, whatever. But I'd watch Shawshank a hundred times before I'd watch Citizen Kane again. Maybe just because it's that old of a movie. I mean, it was very early on... But it's always there, and I don't think it doesn't deserve it, I just feel like I could take it or leave it myself. So there. There, I'm that guy, you know?
Adam Stacoviak:"It sucks..."
Mat Ryer:No, but I'm that guy with Citizen Kane as well.
Jerod Santo:Okay, cool.
Mat Ryer:But we're probably wrong.
Jerod Santo:We probably are. But we're at least wrong together, you know?
Mat Ryer:Yeah, exactly. And that's why I come on this podcast.
Jerod Santo:That's right. We can watch Shawshank in peace and harmony.
Mat Ryer:\[laughs\]
Adam Stacoviak:One would pray.
Jerod Santo:Alright, what else? Should we hard segue into a different topic? Should we say goodbye? Should we reinvent new worlds beyond?
Adam Stacoviak:I just want to mention one thing that was not really talked about much.
Jerod Santo:Okay.
Adam Stacoviak:Uptick mineral water.
Mat Ryer:Oh, yeah.
Jerod Santo:I don't know what that is.
Adam Stacoviak:Uptick. You drink this mineral water and not only do you get a physical uptick, you get a website traffic boost as well.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, this is good.
Adam Stacoviak:Uptick mineral water. Brings you growth.
Mat Ryer:Makes your internet fast.
Adam Stacoviak:Well, I mean, you know... It helps you get the people to buy your thing. Uptick.
Mat Ryer:It does a lot of things, this Uptick. Is it natural? Does it come out of a spring?
Adam Stacoviak:It's a mineral water.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:Best thing for you.
Jerod Santo:Not if you don't like the taste of it...
Adam Stacoviak:Some would call it amazing. Some would call it amazing. Honestly.
Mat Ryer:I would.
Adam Stacoviak:Mineral water that gives you a physical and a digital uptick.
Mat Ryer:Uptick...
Jerod Santo:Who doesn't want an uptick?
Mat Ryer:Who doesn't, indeed?
Adam Stacoviak:You know what, I live daily for an uptick.
Mat Ryer:Can you see this gadget though I have in real life?
Jerod Santo:Oh, wow. What is this? So there's like two lights around your neck?
Adam Stacoviak:Those are personal headlights.
Mat Ryer:Kind of like that, yeah.
Jerod Santo:So you have -- what is this, Mat?
Mat Ryer:This is kind of like personal headlights. It's sort of joking, but --
Jerod Santo:Yeah, it does look like that.
Mat Ryer:...if you're reading a book, you wear this light kind of collar. There's a sort of collar to it.
Jerod Santo:It looks like the pillow you'd put on on an airplane.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Pop it around your neck, put your own mask on before helping anyone else's... Put your own headlights on before helping your friends, or your children... And then you can read, because there's more light on you.
Jerod Santo:It shines light on your book.
Adam Stacoviak:What if you just had instead, right here, Mat - see this part of my neck?
Jerod Santo:Oh yeah, face it back into you.
Adam Stacoviak:What if you just had these -- they were magnets. Those same lights, and they would call it Power Over Skin.
Jerod Santo:P.O.S.
Adam Stacoviak:Right? Your skin would electronically transmit the power... You click the lights to your neck. Power via your heartbeat, and boom. Light.
Jerod Santo:Also, would they pulse?
Adam Stacoviak:I don't know if they would pulse. Maybe they have different -- you know, your body should provide the power at that point, you know? But they can use the power to blink, or to go blue or green, or to be this... I'm thinking maybe like 3600 Kelvin right now, roughly...
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:4700, maybe.
Mat Ryer:I mean, I wish you could do that. I wish you could experiment more with stuff in your body. Like "Yeah, I've gone for LEDs", or extra arms.
Adam Stacoviak:Imagine that. Gen 2 of that.
Jerod Santo:\[01:07:53.10\] Extra arms?
Mat Ryer:Yeah, imagine an extra arm coming out of your side.
Jerod Santo:Ouch...
Mat Ryer:Here's a weird thing, because -- well, imagine picking something up with it now. You kind of know how that would feel. That's my theory.
Jerod Santo:Yeah, like an arm.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, but imagine -- imagine it, you've got an arm coming out of your side.
Jerod Santo:Oh, I am. You keep saying that like I'm not imagining it, but I am.
Mat Ryer:Okay, you are. Right, good. I just can't tell. I can't tell what you're imagining.
Jerod Santo:I'm with you.
Mat Ryer:I just can't tell what you're imagining or not.
Jerod Santo:Well, I'm wondering, could you feel when the power over your skin -- like, would you feel the electricity running through your veins?
Adam Stacoviak:Imperceptible.
Jerod Santo:Oh, wow.
Adam Stacoviak:The reason why is you're already -- do you feel it now? You're already electrical.
Jerod Santo:I'm carbon-based.
Adam Stacoviak:Or your nerves... Touch your fingertips. That's an electrical pulse.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, I do feel that, actually.
Adam Stacoviak:That's electricity inside your body. Low voltage, baby.
Jerod Santo:Yeah, but, I mean, you're talking like lighting up a light bulb, dude.
Adam Stacoviak:A light bulb - that's low voltage. That's five volts or less, man. You don't feel that.
Jerod Santo:Have you ever peed on an electric fence?
Adam Stacoviak:No, because they say don't do that. In my world, one of the laws that I didn't have to mention was that. You don't pee on the electric fence. You just don't do it.
Mat Ryer:Oh, yeah.
Adam Stacoviak:There's a song about it, too. Did you hear the song?
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the song about not peeing on the electric fence.
Adam Stacoviak:Don't pee...
Jerod Santo:Mat, how's that one go again?
Adam Stacoviak:Go ahead, Mat. Give us a rendition of the "Don't pee on the electric fence."
Jerod Santo:There we go.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Jerod Santo:Okay, good.
Mat Ryer:I wonder what genre this is going to be.
Jerod Santo:Uh, nursery rhyme.
Adam Stacoviak:Yeah, kind of like a kid's song, in a way.
Jerod Santo:Very happy.
Adam Stacoviak:Very happy. Too fast. Too fast. Yeah, that's a good pace. No rush. You're in no rush to pee on that fence. \[01:09:49.22\] *Hey, when you're going out for a walk...*
Adam Stacoviak:A little too fast.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] \[01:09:51.10\] *There's something I've gotta tell you, let's have a talk... Because if you need, to go, there's something you should know... Don't go on that electric fence.* *I did it once and not again, I'm electric now and then... I couldn't even really believe how it made me feel. Yeah, I did it, I've done it again, kids. Oh, man, it hurts. It stings. Oh yeah, it burns. It stings.*
Adam Stacoviak:It hurts. It burns. It stings.
Jerod Santo:So is the idea there that you actually peed on it while you were singing the song even? Like mid-song.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. The song's going. You're doing it to show them what not to do.
Adam Stacoviak:"Oh, I did it again...!"
Jerod Santo:That's why he sped up, because he just...
Adam Stacoviak:It hurts, it burns, it stings.
Mat Ryer:Yeah.
Jerod Santo:That's gonna be a classic.
Adam Stacoviak:That's good stuff, man. And you had your headlights on, your personal headlights.
Jerod Santo:Now, Mat, when you wear those on the airplane, can you see to the very bottom, and get that very last little pretzel? Is that what those are for?
Mat Ryer:You can take these on an airplane...
Jerod Santo:Get down there in the bottom of the bag.
Mat Ryer:But the problem is, when they turn all the lights off, everyone goes to sleepy time... Then you've got your lights on. It's really annoying for everyone.
Jerod Santo:Yeah, you've got to say sorry.
Adam Stacoviak:Is there a dim mode maybe? You know, where it's like less bright?
Mat Ryer:Oh yeah, there's more bright... There's like three levels.
Adam Stacoviak:Intermittent.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. It's like a little low mode. That's what you do with it.
Adam Stacoviak:Three modes. Yeah, that low mode's actually kind of high. I think we need to go a little lower with that. Do they measure that in nits?
Mat Ryer:I don't, because that's what we call head lice. And just as a unit for measurement, it went out of fashion years ago.
Adam Stacoviak:What do you measure it in then?
Jerod Santo:Nitwits.
Mat Ryer:We just -- we still use inches.
Jerod Santo:Do you?
Mat Ryer:Oh, for light -- not for light, no. Just like squinting.
Adam Stacoviak:Lumens? What's the lumen count on that?
Mat Ryer:No, it's like if it's a big squint, you know it's bright.
Jerod Santo:How many inches is that light?
Mat Ryer:If it's like "Oh, what are you doing? Turn that off", then you know it's really bright.
Adam Stacoviak:So it's more or less squints?
Mat Ryer:Yeah, it's squints.
Adam Stacoviak:It's a medium squint light...
Mat Ryer:Yeah. You can get candles that are a thousand squints.
Adam Stacoviak:Well, listeners, I'm so glad you tuned in today.
Mat Ryer:Me too, listeners.
Jerod Santo:I think we all learned something.
Adam Stacoviak:This was a really interesting Changelog & Friends, I'm telling you. I just don't even know where we're going with this. I'm loving the guitar picking as we outro this... Like, as if it's an undercurrent or an undertone, so to speak, to these words I'm speaking... Well, thank you, friends... Loved ones... Choose your world wisely, and we'll see you in Zulip. Bye, friends.
Jerod Santo:Bye, friends.