EP 94 MINISODE: Navigating Social Events Alcohol-Free with the 3 Ps

If you've been listening for a while , you may have noticed that I don't really have kind of a rhyme or reason or a format that I follow when doing these episodes , but all that's changing now . I actually want to have these mini-sodes be concise and be coach-focused , so I'm going to invite you to send in your questions or any issues you're dealing with .

So it'll be a question , it'll be some tips that I have and then some action steps . Those are going to be the three pillars of these mini -sodes . I'm going to take a question that came up in a coaching session with a client , or a question someone has sent me .

You can send in your questions and comments by using the send text link in my podcast show notes . If you're watching this on YouTube , you can put your questions in the comment section . If you are listening to this on a podcast listening app , if you go to the show notes , there will be a link that says send a text .

I can't respond to the text , but you can send me your questions , your comments , etc . Now , if you have something that you would like a response from me , you have something that you would like a response from me on , I would be happy to do that . You can find me on Instagram at the Catholic Sobriety Coach . You can go to YouTube and add comments .

You can contact me from my website . Today's question is what should I do before going to an event ? I have three things that you should do before going to an event . The first thing you should do is pray , and the reason why you want to pray first is obviously it kind of puts us in that right mindset . It calms us . We are inviting the Holy Spirit in .

As we work on the other two steps , you can do it any way you want , like you could just say quick prayer , you could say a rosary , you could do Lectio Divina . I mean , there's so many things that you can do Whatever feels the most doable for you . Do that . It doesn't have to take a long time . It can be a quick prayer .

Like Dear Lord , I am planning on going to an event . I ask you to pour forth your graces and strengthen my spiritual gifts so that I can keep my commitment to not drink , or drink less or not at all . The first thing is pray . The second P is prepare . The first thing I want you to do is visualize how you want to show up at that event .

Think about , from beginning to end , what you want to happen and the person you want to be at that event . Think about what you're wearing , who you might be talking to , what questions could come up . Start to think how you want to be perceived , how you want to answer questions and all those kinds of things .

So just start by visualizing the person you want to be at that event and think from beginning to end of the event . This is what I usually work on with my clients , like we go through the whole event and all the different things that could come up , but just think through the event and what could happen .

One of the things that could happen is you could get to your table and there might be wine on the table and there could be wine glasses . Something that I usually suggest is , if you are sitting at a table and there's a wine glass in front of you , just turn it upside down .

I always do this , like when I go to a restaurant or if I'm at an event and there's a wine glass , I just turn it over . Typically the wait staff will come and remove that glass . It's a signal to them that I'm not drinking . So that's one thing that you can think about , like what am I going to do if I sit down , there's a glass and there's ?

You can think about what you want to drink . Do you want to be the one that goes up to the bar to grab your non-alcoholic beverage , or would you like to ask someone else to do that for you ? Would that be more comfortable ?

Sometimes my husband will go up and get me a drink , and it's not that I can't , I just think it's easier because he's going up there . Think about those things again . Who might be there , what they might say ? Maybe think about what would be the worst thing that somebody could say to me what could it be ?

Because then you can formulate how you would want to respond to that in that situation . Now , that's probably not going to happen , but at least you have prepared your mind for it , and what I find for me and for my clients is that kind of relieves that anxiety , because it's like , okay , now I'm not going to be caught off guard .

I know how I want to respond . And the third P is plan . So you're going to make your plan . A plan could be how you're going to get your drink , who is going to be there , what you want to drink , what you want to say if somebody offers you alcoholic beverage , and those types of things .

I also recommend two things Having an exit plan that way , if you are feeling uncomfortable and you want to leave , you have a way to get out .

One of my clients , when she was going to an event where she might have a lot of anxiety One of my clients , when she was going to an event where she might have a lot of anxiety , we talked through how she might want to ask her husband or something that she could say that would alert him to the fact that she was ready to go , like she didn't want to be

there anymore . And so I usually encourage that Always have like an exit strategy for when you're uncomfortable . It's okay to be uncomfortable , like you can be uncomfortable , so don't . I don't want you to not allow yourself to be uncomfortable . But if it gets to the point where you're so uncomfortable that you're afraid that you're going to drink .

That is when it's good to have an exit strategy and leave . And then the other thing that I suggest planning for is have a plan for if you're feeling anxious or uncomfortable but it's not at the point for wanting to leave . Like , do you want to walk around ? Do you want to go to the ladies room ?

Think up some things that you can do that might help with that . I used to have a friend is a knitter and I . It might seem silly to take out your knitting at an event , but for her it was like this stress relief that she liked to do . So she took it everywhere with her , so you can maybe have something like that in your purse .

You can pull it out and be under the table knitting . That sounds crazy but honestly , who cares ? I just think that it's good to have something if you want a fidget , some kind of a fidget thing , or putting in , like it , an airpod with , like some calming music , I don't know , it's based on your comfort level and what will help you get through things .

So the three Ps for the question what should I do before going to an event . You're going to pray by inviting the Holy Spirit in as you start to work on the plan for this event . Two is you are going to prepare by visualizing the person you want to be at that event and thinking through from beginning to end what obstacles , triggers you might encounter .

And the third is to have an action plan . I find that it's really helpful to write it out . If this happens , then this , if this happens , then this , and that way it's very clear in your mind and if you want to fold it up and put it in your pocket or your purse , then go ahead and do that Now .

I did promise you an action step at the end , so what I would love you to do is , if you have an event coming up , try this out . Try it out right now , pray , prepare and then plan and then , after you go to the event , see how that went for you .

The beauty of this is that the more we go to these events or have outings , we will find that some things worked and some things didn't . You keep tweaking it . It's not going to necessarily be perfect . The first time you might say , oh , I wish that I would have done this instead of this , or next time I'm definitely going to do this .

That's how you start to develop and refine your plans . Eventually , you may not even need to make a plan beforehand . I just think it's always good to be prepared

Now . If you don't have an event coming up , think of an event that you've been to and plan how you would plan it , as if it were coming up in the next day or so . Do that and let me know how it goes . You can DM me on Instagram , or you can send me the text , my show notes or comment if you're on YouTube . I can't wait to hear from you .

Well , that wraps up today's episode of the Catholic Sobriety Minisode . Thank you so much for joining me and please be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss a thing . And remember I am here for you , I am praying for you . You are not alone .