EP 91: From Training Wheels to Alcohol Freedom Finding Your Balance

When I have a discovery call or an informational call with someone who's interested in coaching with me or just wants to know a little bit more about coaching and whether or not it's the right fit for them , I always make sure to include this tidbit of information . Coaching is not forever . The goal of coaching is to learn how to coach yourself .

So if I've done my work well as a coach , eventually , when you're ready and when the time is right , you will be able to coach yourself . And I was thinking about this today because today is a big day in the Walker household . Our twins embarked on their senior year of high school .

Year of high school it started with senior sunrise and their senior year will end with a senior sunset . So of course this mom was getting a little bit , you know , nostalgic . I always get a little bit kind of sad when school starts . I think I don't think I'm sad that they're in school , I think it's just pretty soon .

Like our busy house is empty and , yes , in some respects that's great , but in other respects it just leaves me feeling a little bit empty . So the first day or two of school are always a little bit , a little bit reflective , if you will , for me . But I still have my youngest home .

He will start next week but he is going to be going into middle school , so that's a whole other thing .

Anyway , the reason why I'm talking about this is because , as I was reflecting back on all of the things that we have done and the things that I miss about them being little , I started thinking back to when they were learning how to ride their bikes and we had gotten them these little like cars bikes .

The Cars movie was very popular with them and we had gotten them these little cars bikes . They had training wheels on them .

They had like these cute little I don't know they weren't baskets , but you know they were like little things that they could put items in , as they were like riding around on their little bikes and sometimes they would put worms in them and take them for rides . It was really cute .

So anyway , they had those bikes for quite a while and then they outgrew them and we got them some bigger bikes and those had training wheels too . But this bigger bike was it was harder to ride with the training wheels and the boys were really at the point where they wanted to ride without training wheels .

A lot of their friends were starting to take the training wheels off their bikes and they were starting to kind of want that too and be ready for it , and I wasn't quite ready for it . But so what we did was we started with their smaller bikes and took the training wheels off those bikes and so they were having trouble .

I mean , thankfully we lived right now we live on a house that's like our driveway is a hill , our road is a hill , but back then we lived on a street where our driveway was super flat and it was really long . So they had quite a ways that they could just kind of ride back and forth on the driveway . They could ride .

We lived in a cul-de-sac that wasn't very busy , so they could kind of ride around there and on the sidewalk . And so one day my husband wasn't home , he was at work . But the boys were like we want to learn how to ride without training wheels .

I was like , okay , so I took the training wheels off their bikes and you know those visions of a mom or a dad like running alongside of the bike while their child is pedaling . I was trying to do that , but these bikes were so little and they kept hitting my shins .

I was so like my legs were so bruised up by the time we were done with it , and so I was trying you know there are two of them , so one would kind of start and make attempts to be riding while I was trying to stabilize the other one so that he could be trying to learn . And then , finally , I was doing this and I hit my leg again .

I'm like I'm sorry , honey , maybe we should wait until dad gets home . And he's like no , mom , just let go , just let go , I'm going to get emotional Anyway . And he said I think I can do it , you can just let go . And when , when I let go , he just took off and he was riding around , he was free .

I mean , there was some wobbling , there were a few falls , but he just was riding and smiling and feeling so good because he was now able to help himself know how to balance . He was able to help himself navigate how to steer and all of those things that we do when we're riding a bike .

And the thing with twins , a lot of time or at least my twins is once one does it , the other one will soon follow . And so with the other one I was like don't want me to hold your bike for you . And I think after seeing all the trial and error that I had with his brother , he was like no , I think I've got it . So I just stabilized it .

Once he was on and ready , I let go and he went too and they were just so free and they were having so much fun . They were just riding around . I took video of it and I sent it to my husband . He was like they learned to ride their bikes without me there , cause I think he probably had those same visions of like holding the bike and running alongside .

But man , they were ready . I wasn't ready , but then I was , because I saw them going and I saw them just succeeding and like feeling such a sense of accomplishment . It was such a beautiful moment . And then , with my younger son , he was really scared about it , about riding without training wheels , and so we tried a few different things .

But what worked for him is that we went to a school and they had at the playground area they had some soft padding and they had at the playground area they had some soft padding , and so he felt more comfortable trying to learn to ride his bike without training wheels on that soft padding because he knew if he fell wouldn't hurt as much as if he fell on

the sidewalk and stuff . So he needed different things , right to learn how to ride , and my husband actually did kind of run alongside of him and do the let go thing while he was learning .

So as I was thinking back to these sweet moments , I started thinking about how training wheels , how coaching , can kind of be like training wheels when you're learning how to ride a bike For me , as your coach , I'm here to support you . I'm here not to do it for you , right ?

Because training wheels a lot of times they're a little bit off center and that kind of helps you learn to get your balance . So coaching isn't going to perfectly stabilize you . You still have to learn to get your balance yourself through the coaching that I provide , the questions that I ask , the action steps that you want to take .

You know when we're in between sessions , in between sessions , and so pretty soon as we develop these tools , as you figure out how to make plans , how to develop protocols , how to talk about your decisions to drink less or not at all , you start to get more confident , like my boys did .

Like at first they were nervous when we took the training wheels off and they were going to ride and they were happy to have me there holding their bike up . But pretty soon they were good , like they're , like I've got it , and so that's where what my clients get to , when they get to that point where they're like you know , I really think I can do this .

I really think I can do this .

It's great , it makes me feel so good because I know that they will be successful , because they know exactly what is going to work for them , exactly what is going to work for them and it's not the same that's worked for necessarily worked for another client of mine , because all of our lives are different , all of our urges are different , the amount and frequency

we drink is different . But with a little support and encouragement and the tools you need , you'll be able to find that balance . You'll find that balance and realize this is how I maintain peace . This is the amount of alcohol I can consume and still maintain my peace . Now , for some people like me , that's zero .

For other people it could be a glass of wine a week , maybe it could be two a week , maybe it's only during special occasions . It just depends . It varies from person to person . But you come to find that out through the work that we do or , you know , through my sacred sobriety lab .

The lab walks you through that and helps you get curious and find out what the level of sobriety is that is right for you and gives you the tools to be able to maintain that .

And gives you the tools to be able to maintain that and , before you know it , your alcohol-free lifestyle or the freedom that you found in being able to detach from alcohol so that you're not controlled by it , so that you're in control . You're just going to soar . You're just going to like my boys . You're just gonna soar . You're just gonna like my boys .

You're just gonna ride around feeling so free because you're no longer letting the substance control you . You're in control of the substance . So what's the takeaway from this episode ? The takeaway is this that coaching is helpful . It gives you the support and encouragement you need .

I ask questions that are going to help you figure out what alcohol is giving you and what it's taking away . It's going to help you discover your why . Why are you even contemplating , maybe reducing or eliminating alcohol from your life ? There has to be a reason . Maybe it's your health , but if it's your health , then why ? Why is it your health ?

You just want to feel better . Why do you want to feel better ? Just want to feel better . Why do you want to feel better ? You want to feel better so that you can , you know , do stuff with your family , so that you can be here for them and for yourself .

Just keep asking yourself those whys until you get to the one that gives you the determination , that gives you exactly the fuel you need to make those changes and stick with them , and I would love , love to partner with you . It brings me so much joy .

During coaching , we talk about all the different types of obstacles that come up within ourselves , the way that we think , changing our mindset around , what we think about alcohol , because , honestly , you probably haven't been taught how to moderate your drinking or how not to drink or how to have fun without alcohol .

It's just not something that is talked a lot about in our culture . But things are changing because I see more and more people talking about the benefits and the freedom that they experience from living alcohol-free or greatly reducing their alcohol intake .

But in the meantime , you're going to want to learn how to talk to your friends and family about your decisions , how to handle it or manage your mind around it if they're not supportive or if you do run up against people that aren't supportive of you . You're going to figure out how to do holidays , vacation events and things when you normally drink .

You're going to learn how to do that alcohol free . You're going to discover how your life will be so , so enriched , because you will not be under that dark cloud of shame , of guilt , of that wondering if you should do something . Because you are doing something , you'll have more mental clarity . You'll get better sleep . You'll lose weight .

I mean there are so many benefits to reducing or eliminating alcohol and I could talk about it for days . It's a totally different episode , but what I'm getting at is I want you to see what else you will get from coaching , what this lifestyle can give you . It's priceless .

So if you want to learn how to work with me , you can go to my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . You can check out all the links in my show notes , and if you have any questions , I do have a send text button in the show notes as well . You're more than welcome to reach out . I would love to hear from you .

God bless Well . That does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well . And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing .

I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at thecatholicsobrietycoach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone . Thank you .