EP 90: Aligning Life with Faith and Overcoming Limiting Beliefs with Guest Karla Fitz

I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . Are you feeling stuck or unfulfilled ? Do you find yourself buffering or trying to distract yourself so you don't have to think about all the ways that your life just doesn't look like you really want it to ?

Has the Lord placed a desire on your heart to do something more , but you are struggling to know what that more is ? Then you are in the right place today , my friend , because our guest is Carla Fitz . She's a Catholic life coach who helps her clients overcome limiting beliefs so that they can embrace their emotions to create a more fulfilling and aligned life .

Welcome , carla , it is so good to have you joining me today .

I just wanted more time with my children . And then I had gained a hundred pounds over my two pregnancies and after getting married , and I remember at the end of 2020 , just feeling so unfulfilled . I had all the things . I had an amazing husband , two beautiful , healthy little girls , a new home .

So many things were going right , but I felt so lost and stuck in my life . Everything was working outside , or it seemed to , but I was so unhappy all of the time , and what I would do in order to not feel so much emotion was eat . I would eat to the point that I was so stuffed that the next morning I felt so sick .

My favorite thing was sweets , it was sugar and specifically peanut butter . It was the thing that I wanted to eat all of the time . After so many diets , I didn't know why I wasn't able to lose weight . I would lose a little bit of weight and then gain it all back , and I was just stuck in that cycle of like why can't I control myself ?

What is wrong with me ? Why is this not working ? And I remember in 2021 , a friend directed me to my very first life coach and it changed my life .

I went from struggling with weight loss in food and not having any control and feeling like I was seriously out of control to then gaining that control and losing 85 pounds in six months , and it was absolutely insane .

But what I noticed was that in that journey of losing weight , the weight loss was the byproduct , but what I really gained was freedom within myself to make decisions for myself and to connect with God in the process . And then I noticed that once I emptied that desire for food and I didn't have that anymore I wanted Him so much more .

Like that's when I started really wanting more mass time and Eucharistic adoration and just more time in prayer and walks . And it was always with him . And he was the one that was like okay , carla , you've got to go into life coaching .

And so , after losing those 85 pounds , I joined the life coach school , got certified and then six months later , I was totally certified and started my business . And it just blows my mind , because at first I was . Later I was totally certified and started my business .

And it just blows my mind because at first I was like I'm just going to do weight loss , not going to talk about God . But what I noticed was that when I was coaching my clients , I was not able to be myself fully , and then I was like trying to pretend I didn't care about God .

It's like no , it's fine , you can call it whatever you want , it can just be in . And I felt so uncomfortable and out of alignment . And so then it was . What was funny was that when I had that , right after I certified , I had the moment with God of like , what do you want me to do ?

And what I wrote down as a goal was become a Catholic life coach . And I did not become a Catholic life coach until like almost a year later , because I was like no , that doesn't make sense .

And so that's why I found that love for like aligning your life with him and explaining life coaching from that perspective , because to me , life coaching and self-help does not make sense without him in the middle , and then that's how I saw the shift of like how the Catholic life coach podcast came to be and he just started opening these doors and bringing in

the right kind of people that align with me and me with that it's just , it's amazing to see so far being fully .

That don't necessarily say that they're Catholic life coaches , but for me and it sounds like for you too it's just so much more freeing to be able to be who we are and address our clients as a whole instead of a part like mind , body and their soul , their spiritual wellbeing as well , and I think that's just so much more beneficial for those of us who are

Catholic or Christians that we don't have to kind of hide that part of us 100% and like one of the things that I teach my clients is to really step into the person that God is calling them to be , and I felt like for me , for a long time , I wasn't doing that .

It feels very silly to pretend I'm not Venezuelan , nor that I have an accent , and I feel the exact same way . I'm like I'm Catholic and I love God and that's a big part of me and if that is something that we connect over and it's such a beautiful relationship and we share that core with our clients , right .

And then they beat themselves up about it , like I have a great marriage , I have wonderful children , we have a beautiful home , you know , whatever it is everything that they wanted or prayed for , but there's just something more that they're missing .

There's something within themselves that needs to be addressed or needs to be healed , and so I'm so glad that you touched on that . So often , what we do to try to make that better is we try to slap a band-aid on it right , like with food , with overeating , with over drinking , with over scrolling or spending , whatever it is .

We're trying to buffer and distract ourselves from feeling unfulfilled because we're trying to fill it up with all of these things that just pass away and leave us feeling even worse .

But really the solution is all within us and God is with us and he's inside of us , and so I think it makes so much sense that , instead of looking outward or trying to fix it , we need to just check in and heal , because I think that's the key .

This is how I explain to my clients too From the person we are today to the person that we want to become , all there is is a journey of healing , because I think it's the same

. I think your topic with alcohol . It relates so much because it's in the core of it . It's just a need to feel better . We want to just feel better , even if it's just for a minute , because for me , it was not alcohol for me , but sugar . It's like just give me the sugar so I can calm down for a minute .

Too much anxiety , too much stress , and we fight our emotions and I think , until we learn that our emotions are there for a reason and that God uses them to communicate with us and that they're meant to tell us something . What's happening within us ?

We just fight them and , at least for me , was like a lot of anxiety , was I'm too anxious , I've got to fix it instead of bossing and letting that be there and checking in to heal that part of us that needs to be looked at .

Why can't you X , y , z ? So when you're working with your clients , how do you help them transition from I'm using whatever it is to buffer with all of this anxiety all of a sudden go from I'm feeling these feelings to being able to say our feelings are there for a reason .

They're telling us something about ourselves , they're alerting us to something that needs to be healed . So how can they go from covering it up with that , that band-aid fix , to actually facing it ?

That is , what is the actual thing that is creating this pain in their life . Because I think when we're on our own , we have all these emotions and we have no idea what to do with them . It's just like , oh well , now what you know .

And I think , when you start working and for me , this is what I do , still I have a life coach , because as you grow , as you evolve , your brain is changing , there's new challenges , there's new discomforts in our life , and so having that person that holds that space for your emotions and your thoughts , and then becoming aware because you're going to have

awareness on one thought and one belief and one pain , one emotion , and then that will open another one and another one , and another one , and then you just heal them little by little . And I think that is also the beauty of combining life coaching with our faith , because not only do you have your coach walking with you , but God is walking with you .

Like that is a moment for us to check and ask and I ask a lot of questions to my clients of like , why do you think this is happening ? Is this where you wanna go ? Is this where you truly to go ? Is this where you truly want to spend your time , or what is the emotion and feel that they're with them ?

Just hold that space for them to feel it in that session , instead of sending them off and be like , okay , you'll be fine .

And that's the thing about coaching , like I believe and my coach has said this because I've been coached she always says great coaches know the value of coaching and get coached Right so we know how beneficial it is and how important it is and how transformative it can be , because we go through our day .

We may be talking to friends , we may be talking to our spouse , we could even be talking to like those you know , like our moms or sisters or somebody , and we aren't always like deeply listened to .

The thing with coaching that I love so much , that I've appreciated is it's not that the people that we love don't listen to us , but so many of us listen to respond or listen to fix .

But a coach is there so often just to deeply listen and then ask those questions so that you can think outside the box and come up with the solutions that work best for your lifestyle , like when I talk about sobriety coaching .

I never come in and say , ok , sarah , this is what we're going to do , you're going to do this , you're going to do this , you're going to get an exercise program , you're going to eat better , you're going to journal . Like that would be so unhelpful for the majority of my clients .

What's most helpful is to ask those really meaningful , deep questions that they're probably not asking themselves . Or I know I wasn't asking myself until my coach made me like think about it and I was like , oh , that's a really good question . I never thought of it that way .

And it makes such a big difference when you're deciding for yourself , rather than being told to do something , because I had a lot of like weight loss programs and they were telling me exactly what to do , but at no point did I decide for myself .

I wanted to do it Right and I think that was a big shift I had with my coach , which was just I decided that I wanted to shift this and I remember it was when I first met her , right before starting to work with her , she asked me what it was costing me to not get the help and I just like I

lost it . I started bawling and I was like it's cost , I'm going to cry again . It's costing me my children .

It's costing me my life with my girls , because I couldn't sit on the floor and play with them , I couldn't run after them , I couldn't do so many things and I was only 28 years old at the time , like I was very young and very unhealthy and I was so terrified that I was going to die a lot sooner than I wanted to , or that I could .

You know , and it's just I just remember it was that instant that I was like something has to change , and she didn't say anything . She just asked me a brilliant question , and that's why I fully believe that this works is because we're making that decision for ourselves in our own time too , which is being held and loved in that space .

move forward or why they're still doing what they're doing , but they're not quite at that stage of readiness , which it is a stage Like we go through , all those stages of change , of like thinking about . We go from like not thinking it's a problem to realizing oh , this might be a problem to starting to research .

They might listen to my podcast or your podcast , they might Google search some things , they might look at websites , but they're still not quite ready yet . But it's , like you said , when it gets so painful that when you are asked that question , what is it costing you ? That helps you formulate your why Like it's costing me , you said your girls .

It's costing me , you know , my health , it's costing me time , it's costing me , you know . Whatever it is , I think that's a really great , perfect question to ask and that will reveal whether you're in that stage of readiness . Because if you are like , well , it's not costing that much , like things are going , you know mostly good , then you're not ready .

But if you get to that point where , like you said , it brings tears to your eyes and you know that if you don't move forward , if you don't do something now , it's just going to get worse , yeah , then you're in that spot and that doesn't mean you have to have gained a ton of weight .

It doesn't mean that you have to be an alcoholic or drinking every single night . It just means that it is so painful for you at whatever stage you're in and you're recognizing it is just causing too much chaos and you don't like where it's going .

And I think a lot of that this is again the beauty of actually being a Catholic coach is we can rely on the truths of our Catholic faith . We can talk about things like trust and surrendering to God , because it is an act of trust . It is an act of surrender to , like you were saying , empty ourselves so that we can allow God to fill us .

But it's so easy to say that , right , I can say that all day . You need to trust more , you need to surrender , but that is not easy . So , but that is not easy . So can you explain , like in your work and in your life , how surrendering to God can actually help us in all aspects ?

It means stepping into their dreams , their desires , and this is like the very first word . I have a four word thing that I follow when I'm coaching and this is how I want them to see their life , and it is trust , surrender , believe , receive .

Those four words mean a lot to me and when it comes to trust , it is trusting that you have that desire in your heart for a reason Like it's not , because I think for a long time I believed that all my desires were kind of there because I was being selfish , so it's like wait , why is this even there ? But it changes

everything . The reason why we struggle so much with trust is because we want to feel some sort of control in our life , and I think that is a human thing for us to want to have control . I think we all struggle with this in one way , shape or form , that we just want to have some sort of grip on what we're doing .

I want to feel like I'm in charge and I've got this in my hands , and when God asks us to let it go , it is the single most uncomfortable thing . And this is something that I , to be fully honest , I struggle with daily . I teach about it because I know how it feels , I know how hard it is , and I think this is why we become coaches on .

The times we become coaches on is because it is something that we have struggled with and we have had to overcome . The thing with trust that I've always envisioned is like how much my work , the stuff that I'm trying to do on my own , is so small compared to what God can do .

And so I think any time that we're trying to have that control and like belief , like okay , I'm going to believe once he does something or he moves something , we're not having that faith that he calls us to live into . And trust just has a bunch of layers where you have to trust that , yes , he's putting those desires in your heart .

You have to trust that he's leading you and you have to trust that he's going to provide , like , whatever you need , whether it's time , whether it's money , whether it's the person that you need to meet he's going to provide in order to lead you to that promise , and it's a daily practice . I don't think it just comes naturally to us .

I think it's actually really hard . Like you said , easier said than done , but the more we practice that trust , the more we see his hands and how much more we can create in our life if we let him act on us , in us .

And then you know God provides for them , he provides the manna from heaven , and then they're complaining about that . So then he sends peasants or whatever , and then they complain about that . But then he guides them , like they're grateful , they're like , oh , thank you lord , thank you lord . And then they get tired of it , or , oh , I wish it was this way .

Or they're like , all about god , and then moses leaves and he comes back and they've made a molten calf . And so it's like this .

Somebody I'm not sure if it was Father Mike Schmitz or someone was saying that the Israelites going through the desert to the promised land , it was a lesson in trust , and that God also leads us through our own deserts , but he's with us the whole time , just like he was with the Israelites the entire time .

But he leads us through that , providing provisions that we may see , or that we may be ungrateful for or maybe we miss . He's providing for us all along the way . But it is all the lesson in trust for us too . Will you turn to me or will you turn to things of this world ?

And so I think , if we look at it that way , I really think that a lot of that just comes down to identity . He's with us , he's fighting for us , he loves us , and I think knowing that , at least for me , makes it a lot easier to trust , to surrender and to turn to him in those times of needs .

But we have to learn how to recognize that that's happening . Needs , but we have to learn how to recognize that that's happening .

Do you have any tips that you give your clients or that you do to help them recognize those things that God is bringing into their lives so that they can again like you said I love it so much just empty themselves of that thing , detach from whatever it is .

It is scary because it's like if I don't have that , then I'm going to have to feel the feelings .

way things happen . But we tend to forget , just like the Israelites . Like you were saying , we just rinse and repeat the struggle , and so I think that is a beautiful exercise to do . Then the other thing , too , is gratitude , like practice .

What you're thankful for that you have today and then I love having this thing is , on the left side , you put three or five things that you are grateful you have today , and on the other side , you put something that you're grateful you will have later , because I think it creates something in our brain that , oh , this is coming , and we start practicing that

trust ahead of time . The litany of trust is absolutely beautiful . That is one that I absolutely love , same with the surrender novena .

Always I did also wanted to mention that the way that I'd like to explain to my clients why we're struggling with filling cup with new things is because we fill . I like to call it the cup of desires . And if you imagine a glass of wine , if you fill it all the way it's filled , it overflows , like makes a mess , right ?

And if we fill it up with things of this world , like food , alcohol , tv , busyness , just all of those things fill it up to a point that you have no energy nor space to hold new things , to look within you and say , hey , what do I actually want ?

You are so filled , your cup of desire is so filled that you just feel overwhelmed , like nothing else can like . There's nothing you can want or need anymore because it's being filled to the point of you're just filling it up and eating more and drinking more , and that's what fills it .

When you take away that desire and this can be with something even like coffee , like if you overdo coffee anything that you're overdoing is filling that cup of desires and we as humans have a limit amount of space in that cup of desire .

So when you take away like for me it was food and sugar and all that when you start taking those things that take your time and your desires away and you use it for things of this world . Then you start seeing that your cup is empty and you're like wait , how do I actually want to fill this up in my life ?

And that's , I think , also an exercise of trust , because God will put things in your heart . And then that's when you're like wait , are you sure that I want to do this ? And so that's the space where we hold space for that trust and we fill it up on purpose . Because until we do that , we're just leading our lives through the emotions .

We're just filling it up as it comes , with whatever thing it comes . And that's why we feel so unfulfilled , because none of it is an actual desire truly from our soul . It's just an unconscious need for something outside of us .

How can we start to make a practice of like turning our face to God or turning to God , bringing him into the everyday and just helping us to see him and hear him , so that it makes it a lot easier to empty that cup out , like empty those desires out , that all the world is like you need to fill your cup with this and that and this and that to be

fulfilled , and instead we're kind of like inching God out , which is what the enemy wants us to do anyway . He doesn't want God in there . He wants us to forget God's goodness and all the things that he's done for us .

So what are some things that people can do to empty that cup and make it a practice of turning to God when those situations or feelings or anxiety arises ?

I don't know , I listen to a lot of things , but she was saying how , if you are not sure that you're struggling with something , or you're not sure if you're addicted to something , or if you give too much attention or desire to that thing , just take it away for a week and see how you react .

Like , just for that week , stop the drinking , stop the scrolling , stop shopping for just a week . And then if you start noticing , wait , I really want that thing . You'll start getting like jittery , like almost shaky , like no , I want that thing .

That's when you will recognize that you need to shift something and in that time , instead of spending time with that particular thing that you're giving too much attention to time , instead of spending time with that particular thing that you're giving too much attention , to use that time to quiet your heart and pray for just a few minutes , because that desire and

that urge has us in about 60 to 90 seconds . We think it's going to linger for a long time , but really it doesn't last very long . So , allow yourself that period of time that week , maybe two weeks , where you just slow down and in that moment you feel that anxiety .

You just close the door , close your eyes , call upon the Holy Spirit and sit with that emotion for just a few minutes where you feel like , OK , it passed . And the more we practice this , we will realize that , wait , I don't actually need that thing . I have more joy in my heart just by being with God .

You don't have to fill it up with anything else , just with quiet time and prayer . It's life-changing and it's so fun to see it change and you step into that version .

Now see what happens if you want to integrate it back in slowly and how you're thinking about it . But that's such a good practice . If you're wondering if something is causing chaos , if you're wondering if it's a problem , take it away , commit to a week and see how your brain responds .

And if you're fixated on like , oh , I'm not having that much fun , or you're just counting down the seconds to when you can pick up your phone and play those games or you know whatever it is , then it might be something that I really need to work towards . And it's a very , very good practice . And I love what you said .

Just fill that space up with just a little bit of prayer and quiet , like it doesn't need . You don't need to make it a big thing , because if we do that , then it could make us not want to do that anymore and want to turn to that thing even more .

So if we're like , okay , during that time I'm going to run five miles or journal for 30 minutes , or you know whatever it is You're like . No , just take a little bit of time , a little bit of quiet , let that urge pass and then see how you feel .

And I think , even though I love writing and journaling , I think even for those who don't even just taking some time to just bullet point it like this is when I felt the urge . This is what I did , this is how I thought afterward . This just bullet pointed out , just as an encouragement and then also to really be able to look at later as you build those .

I always say that you're building sober muscles , but it's like we go to the gym and we work out . This is what I do . I'm not saying we , I'm saying I do this , I go to the gym or I work out . One morning I get up at five , I you know , do whatever . And then the next day I get on the scale and I'm like why is it the same ?

Why is it more ?

And when you practice believing that ahead of time , you just start living into that version of you and then you start creating that .

I never it's funny because when I went into life coaching , I remember from day one I was so committed that I was like I'm just going to pretend no past happened , because I think that's another judgment we have for ourselves is like , oh , I have been struggling for so long and nothing has worked and therefore nothing will work .

But really you decide in that day and from then on you become this new person and it was one pan at a time . It was one pan at a time and then you start experimenting . I love what you said earlier .

If we treat this new goal or this new version of ourselves as a let's just try this out and experiment , like have fun with it , you don't put so much pressure on yourself , because I think we create so much pain within ourselves , believing that once we get there we will be better , we will be loved more , we will be happier and really life is 50-50 at every

stage . But you're choosing on purpose whom you're becoming so living into that version of you . It really shifts stuff for your brain , in your brain and your beliefs and thoughts .

And so it is about like looking forward becoming being the person who you are becoming . One of my friends says I am becoming a woman who does , you know , has a good schedule , eats properly , gets up at five o'clock and exercises Whatever . Your goal is just having that in your mind . Like I am becoming a woman who .

And then , like , what does that vision look like ? What things are you doing when you're living that life that you desire and you're right .

Two and a half years later , I am a person who does not like peanut butter . I don't like the smell , I don't like . Every time I serve it for my children , I'm like this is so gross . This is like how I used to eat this out of the bucket . I do not understand anymore .

Like my brain has been rewired so much that the smell is horrible , it looks horrible , it tastes horrible . So I'm just you become that person and it's yeah , but that can happen within you . That's , I think , what's so freeing . It's like it can happen within you .

Sometimes I do no-transcript . So yeah , you're not alone .

What do you think about you know how busy I am , or my schedule is so packed and just sit with that , non-judgmentally , and let the Lord speak to you . And if anything is coming to your mind that's condemning or mean or makes you feel terrible , that is not from God . That is not God talking to you .

That's either the enemy or the thought reel that you've been feeding yourself , you know , for so long , or words of other , that other people have spoken to you that are not very nice . The words of the Lord are going to be , you know , encouraging , loving , merciful .

Those are the words that are going to be from the Lord and the most beneficial in helping you gain clarity and move forward .

Who are you going to help ? Who's going to listen ? Like all those thoughts , none of those are God's , and I have a friend that says she's always like get behind me . Satan . Very vocal about it . It's good to realize and expect it to . It's like okay , I'm doing this new thing .

All these doubts are going to come from our ego , from our own self-doubt , and some of them are going to come to discourage you and to take you out by the devil , because , of course , he's not going to like you . Getting closer to god , like that is not his goal . It's like wait , are you kidding me right ?

We were doing so good , you were so lost within yourself , and now it's just going to get better . No , no , this is not how it works .

This is definitely a spiritual battle as well , and so just to recognize that very clearly , that the devil will tempt us to sin , or tempt us into that thing that keeps us from God , and once we give into that , he is just going to shoot arrows that are going to just shame us and make us feel terrible .

So then we'll want to do it again , just to not be in pain anymore . So just stopping that roller coaster right in its tracks is going to be the most beneficial , recognizing it .

Today we're talking about trust and one of the things that I would recommend doing , and it just came back to me and it goes to this because what the devil does to us is he creates doubt and worry , like , oh , let's spend time in this worry and dig into the worry of how things are going to turn out , and it causes an insane amount of anxiety and just

instability . And what I was going to say is , when it comes to trust , one of the things I've been practicing , especially lately , because there's been a lot of things happening back home and a lot of uncertainty happening .

But I've been practicing because he kicks in my head a lot of like you'll never go back home , this will never work out , this is none of my business , god's got it .

And because we can either choose to turn off the fire with an eight ounce bottle or we can trust that he's going to put it out with rain , it's like there's only so much we can do and so it's just like , okay , this is none of my business . Three , four , one week from now is none of my business .

So that gives us a lot of peace and trust that God is in charge and he's got it . Yeah .

Yes , well , oh , my goodness , I could talk to you forever , carla , and this has been such a great conversation and I know it's going to be so helpful for so many of my listeners and I just pray that it reaches all those who really need your message of hope and encouragement and just the light that you are and the light that you bring to others .

So I know that people are going to want to know how they can learn more about you and where they can find you , so go ahead and just tell us all the things so that they can get connected with you Of course you can find me at the Catholic Life Coach podcast that's my podcast and then on Instagram .

And if you want to just check more about my program , you can check my website , carlafitzcom . I couldn't get the Catholic Life Coach , unfortunately , but the rest of it , yeah , just send out a message and I'm happy to support you in anything Perfect .

I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , theccatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic Sobriety Coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you , I am praying for you . You are not alone .