Ep 9: The Power of Small Habits: Insights from Jessica Castillo

I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Subriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . Okay , so I'm so excited about today's episode because I get to welcome my friend , Jessica Castillo . She is a Catholic Life Coach , a certified health coach and the founder of a thriving Catholic .

Her mission is to help high-achieving Catholic women enhance their performance in every aspect of their lives by optimizing their sleep , diet and exercise so that they can be an unstoppable force for good in the world and make the impact that God created them for .

Through her online courses , groups and one-on-one coaching , Jessica helps Catholic women reach peak performance in a Christ-centered way , so that they can do the work that God created them to do at the highest level possible .

You can find out more about Jessica and all the things that she offers at atthrivingcatholiccom , and she's also on Instagram and Facebook at a thriving Catholic . Welcome , Jessica , I'm so excited that you are here today .

So I served in the Army and I was on a couple of combat deployments and it was actually during my time as a cadet and in the Army that I really got interested in optimizing performance through healthy habits . So I got really interested in how my diet and how my sleep and how my exercise were really affecting my performance of my job .

But it was also kind of during that time too that I had these long stretches of being alcohol-free , because when I was deployed you're not drinking or there's no alcohol and deployments . But what happened for me was this pattern of when I would get back from a deployment , a lot of overdrinking , but we can come back to that .

But basically , when I was getting out of the Army , when I decided it was time for my husband and I wanted to start a family and we were dual military so we didn't want to have to be deploying away from our children . So I was like , okay , I want to get out of the Army , I want to start a family , but what am I going to be when I grow up ?

How am I going to combine this passion I have for taking care of my body with ? At that time , I had just entered the Catholic Church . I'm an adult convert to Catholicism , so I came into the church at Easter Vigil 2010 .

And yeah , this was all happening for me around the same time where I was trying to , where I was finding that you could really integrate Catholic spirituality with taking really good care of your body , and that the two just went together so beautifully .

But I didn't see anything like that in the world , and so I didn't know what I could do when I got out of the Army that could combine these passions of mine , and I didn't think anything like that existed . So I went down a few different paths .

Like , I started a program to become a holistic counselor , which I thought like holistic would mean like whole body counseling . It was at a Catholic university , so I thought like when , when ? But it turns out that it was super new , agey .

And when they mean holistic , they meant like , like there's crystals on a floor and people are sitting in a circle , I mean it was . I was like what I'm not going to name names on the university , but I was .

I was a little like like floored by this , and so in my mind I was like , okay , well then , holistic counseling is only new agey , so that doesn't exist .

And so then I was like , well , I really love teaching , so I pursued different teaching avenues , different things , and so basically it was like a period of trial and error for me , trying a lot of different things , and this is actually kind of where drinking kind of comes back into my story a lot , because it was during this time that I that I started dealing

with a lot of , you know , depression . That was kind of stemming from this feeling of being completely unfulfilled in my day job . And at this time my day job was homeschooling my small children and raising my babies , and I was like I was home all day .

I was like in this kid mess all the time , but I felt like God had called me to do something more , or had created me for something , but I felt like so frustrated at every turn in the road like I couldn't figure out what that was , or that there was anything that combined those desires .

And so I've said this before , but St Thomas Aquinas has this quote that when man cannot live without joy , so when he's deprived of true spiritual pleasures , it becomes necessary that he turns to carnal pleasures .

And so for me , turning to carnal pleasures really took the form of drinking too much , and that just kind of started this downward spiral of I was eating I would have to have a bunch of junk food to go with my genitonic and then I would stay up late to watch TV because I was still having my drink , and then I wasn't sleeping and I was eating poorly and

I was just like it was this like huge downward spiral and that , of course , was just making my depression worse , like so much worse , and then I wasn't being the kind of mom I wanted to be , I wasn't being anything I wanted to be . So that was kind of for me like sort of the low point .

And I just had kind of this wake up call where a friend of mine just very bluntly was like this is depression , you're dealing with depression . And that was kind of a really like .

I needed that , like I needed to snap out of it , because at that point I was thinking that everyone else was the problem and everything else was the problem , like my , it was my husband , it was my kids , it was like because I was homeschooling and I didn't want to do it anymore and like all these things .

And so that really kind of gave me this impetus to be like okay , wait a second , if depression is literally something's going on with the chemicals in my brain , then that's part of my body , that's physical , like there's something I can do with my body to influence this . And so I started just reading everything I could find , learning more .

I mean , I knew so much about healthy habits already , but I wasn't doing the things that I knew and I wasn't doing it from the angle of like I have to heal my brain , like I have got to do something that's going to help me to get out of this . And yeah , stopping drinking was one of the first things Like that's like one of the first things to do .

And so I just basically started down this path of like taking these little steps to help myself to heal my body , to heal my mind , and like it just really worked . Within a few months I was , you know , I had lost like 30 pounds . I was feeling so much happier .

I had like really overcome this , this like deep darkness that I had been facing , and I felt like just so much more energy , so much more joy in my daily life , and , like it was actually funny , it was actually at this point that I had finally made an appointment to see a counselor , like a mental health professional , and when I went to my first appointment ,

she was like what are you doing here ? You're doing great . And I'm like , yeah , I am doing pretty great .

I don't know what I'm doing here either , but what really was coming out of it for me was like , okay , I felt like I was still on kind of like the edge of a precipice , you know , like I could fall back into my old ways at any time If I didn't have a reason to continue with healthier habits , and so this is one of the big things that I emphasize with

my clients as a health coach Like your healthy habits are not the most important thing in your life .

So the way to actually keep your healthy habits is to have something more important than your healthy habits .

That you're keeping your healthy habits for Whether that's your family , your job , your vocation , whatever , like calling you feel like you have there's gotta be a reason that's bigger than just like looking good in your swimsuit or something to keep up with your healthy habits . And so for me , I was like , okay , I definitely know what depression feels like .

I don't wanna be there in that . But it's kind of like the carrot stick approach , you know , like depression would be like the stick that I don't want . But what was the carrot ? You know , what was the thing that I did want ?

And the thing that I did want was this fulfilling life that I felt like was actually doing the work that God had made me to do , that I had , through so many trials and errors , tried to figure out .

And what happened for me was when I really just came to God with everything that had happened , with all of my experiences , and I just laid it down in front of him and I was like , okay , lord , you have made me with these talents and these abilities and this life experience and this is who I am , this is who you've created me to be .

What do you want me to do with all of this ? And it was literally when I was finally open and ready to listen in that way that the idea for a thriving Catholic came to me . I swear like almost fully formed .

It was like , well , you're gonna help Catholic women integrate Catholic spirituality with taking really good care of their bodies and minds , and they're gonna be healthier , happier and holier . And this is what you're gonna do . And I was like , okay , this is what I'm gonna do . And I didn't even know that health coaching was a thing .

Like I was not certified as a health coach at that time because I didn't know that health coaching existed . So I basically started a thriving Catholic and I was like this is what I'm gonna help people do . And then in the process , we were talking a little bit before the interview . We kind of just learn and build as we grow .

And so , as I was building a thriving Catholic , I was like , oh , coaching is a thing , health coaching is a thing . And then I got certified as a health coach . I learned more about life coaching , things like that , and I was like , oh , this was just what I thought that doing . I didn't know that there was actually a name for it .

So , anyway , that's the long winding story , but that's basically how I got started as both a health coach and a little bit of like my story with drinking .

I feel like God is calling me to something else . What is it ? And really it is . When we cry out to God and we're like , okay , I'm ready to listen , I'm ready to stop talking at you and telling you what I think you should do or what I think I want . I'm ready to just shut up and let you work through me .

And when we look at like saints or other Catholics or other Christians who are making a big impact , they don't just do it overnight . I mean , look at Mother Angelica .

She started like selling peanuts and like little pamphlets and all this stuff and it turned into this the fish and the lures yeah , yes and so and it's turned into this major media empire that touches and changes lives . But and she did the same thing , like what you were saying and we talked about earlier , just like learning on the fly .

I like what did you say ? It was like building the airplane while flying Is that what that is ? Yeah basically , I love that Because it is so much like that . And so I think what you're doing is so amazing , because when we do , you know we say it's not depriving ourselves . It's saying no to something so that we can say yes to something else .

It's not looking at what we're giving up , but what are we gaining by going to bed early , optimizing our health , not drinking and doing all these things that we know make us feel better . But then we go back and we're like , oh , now I'm not feeling so good . You know it's like what ? Why am I not ?

Oh , yeah , it's because I had that humongous piece of cake or I didn't exercise for three days . So I'm starting to feel a little cloudy and all of those things . So are we ?

So we went and got a donut . Oh my gosh , I felt horrible . For like three days I had a headache . I was like why is the stomach hurt ? And I was like , why do I feel so bad ? And my husband was like because you haven't had sugar or anything . And thinking back on it , like maybe after that first bite it really wasn't you know that much better .

And the same thing is like with drinking after like the first 20 minutes , then you're just like chasing that buzz , like the whole rest of the night , but it doesn't get any better . It's just pretty much the same and you're just chasing it . Yeah , yeah , it's . The payoffs are not always what we think that they're going to be .

And so you know , even if you drink like tonight and then tomorrow evening you might still be feeling like irritable and anxious , and those are still effects of the alcohol that you drink . You don't even realize that it's still in your system , it's still causing you to have these .

You know , I think I read something that was like even if you , it takes like three days or something for it to completely be metabolized out of your body . And so for people who are like well , I only drink a couple of times a week , I'm like , well , that's really kind of all it takes for you to be always feeling the ill effects of it .

You know , it doesn't have to be like even an everyday thing .

I was like I'm not a moderate drinker , so I was just putting so much in and my poor body was just working on overdrive , so it's no wonder that I had no mental clarity and I felt terrible all the time and you know all of those things .

because your body's like , ooh , we got to get this out . Now this is poison , let's get this out . And so that's going to be where your body's focusing , and it's like which I mean like one of the biggest detriments , then , is that it's just not focusing on doing the really important work that it could and should be doing in the absence of alcohol .

bit . This Lent , you have been doing a Missio-Pirata challenge . That means mission ready , right and I've been following along with it not perfectly , but I've been following along with it . It is no joke , but it is so amazing . I mean , honestly , I've seen so many fruits from it personally .

So why don't you go ahead and tell my listeners a little bit about your challenge and maybe some of the feedback that you've received from other women that have been doing this challenge ?

So the whole idea behind Missio-Pirata is , like you said , missio-pirata is Latin for mission ready , and so the whole idea is that basically , god has called you and given you a unique , specific mission to fulfill in this life , but that if you are not optimal , like in terms of how you are feeling physically and spiritually and mentally in all of these ways , then

you're not going to be able to accomplish that mission as well as you could if you were . So the point of Missio Prada is to help you get to that level of being like totally mission ready .

So it combines physical practices like disciplined diet and fasting , exercise and sleep , with really deep , powerful spiritual practices like Lectio Divina and daily prayer of the rosary , so that you know , ideally by the end of land , you are emerging like with more energy , with more vitality , with more clarity and also having formed even a deeper relationship with God

during those deep prayer practices , so that by the time you get to the end of lunch you're like you're ready and able to hear what God may be calling you to do and you're able to respond out of this place of like abundant , vibrant health that so few of us even know what that feels like anymore .

So that's kind of part of the point of the challenge and some of the feedback that I've been getting from the challenge has been so amazing . Like some of the women going through the challenge are like , oh my gosh , this is not just for lent , I feel so good that I'm going to keep doing this all the time .

And you know , one woman said like I never felt so good with quote unquote food restrictions before , because basically the restrict , the dietary part of the challenge , is that we're cutting sugar , alcohol , gluten and dairy and at first that sounds like super extreme and people are like , oh my gosh , what am I supposed to eat ?

But you know , through the course of the challenge I've been offering like live training every week to kind of help people with different aspects of the challenge .

So it's not like so overwhelmingly difficult and I think people are starting to realize that actually , like like we were talking about earlier , it's not so much depriving yourself of something , it's really saying no to something that so that you can say yes to something better .

And so the things that people are realizing through the challenge is like actually they feel so good eating this way . They feel so good like incorporating these aspects of the challenge into their daily life , that they're like this is just like a new lifestyle for me , and of course I'm secretly like that was kind of the point , but like that's okay .

One thing I've been really good about is not having sugar , because I know that's one of the things that makes me feel the worst and , as you know , lent starts coming up , I start getting a little anxious , like , oh , I don't want to like break that again , but I think that having this foundation is really , really helpful , and I just want to point out to my

listeners that Jessica has a podcast a thriving Catholic and she has these trainings which are phenomenal and I highly suggest that you go and listen to them because they're so good . I listen to them .

I've listened to the prayer , one I listened to twice because I really wanted to get a handle on the lexio divina , because I that's kind of a scary word , it's like what are intimidating . I should say so it was . I loved how you like broke it all down and yeah , so go and listen to that . This isn't just for , like she said , it's for life .

I mean , it's for always . So , yeah , and you don't have to do it perfectly , right .

United prayerfully to Christ and in his sacrifice is going to have fruit , it's going to bear fruit , and so that's what we've been seeing in the challenge and , honestly , it's been so overwhelmingly good that I'm pretty sure this is just going to be something I do every lent .

So , yeah , if your listeners are like , oh man , it's after lunch or it's pot , like don't worry , you can totally join me next lent and still listen to any of the trainings that are on my podcast . To .

I'm sure you have lots of tips , but what is one of your best tips for resisting those urges and cravings when they come up , because they do , but they don't last forever . So , absolutely .

You know the first step is just to even recognize that you're having that craving and like to name it like that's what it is , like here's I'm have , I'm craving this . And so , of course , you know , obviously for your audience , like I'm I'm craving a drink , like I want to drink .

And I have been there myself where , like I have wanted a drink so badly I could like almost taste it . You know you're in the craving and so your imagination is totally taken over with like how good it's going to be , what it's going to taste like , what it's going to feel like in your hand and you're like all of those things .

And so I think the first step is like , okay , recognize that you're having the craving .

And then the second step is really to recognize , like for most of us , when we're having a craving , it's because we actually have a legitimate need for something you know and so sometimes you know people have talked about like the acronym halts , like if you're hungry , angry , lonely or tired .

These are kind of like the top , like triggers for when you might have a craving , when you start feeling this way , and so it can be really helpful to recognize what is it that you're actually feeling and what do you , what do you really need ?

And to recognize that you have a legitimate need , because sometimes , a lot of times for women , when we're reaching for a drink , it's because we're really stressed or we're really tired , or again it's like that the halt is hungry , angry , lonely , tired , or we're at the end of a long day and we're like feeling frazzled or we're feeling like why feel like I

should have a reward because I'm tired and I've worked hard all day , and like all of these you know things that we tell ourselves like this is why we need a drink . It's like , okay , let's just pause on that .

Recognize that you actually do have a legitimate need , like it is okay that you're legitimately tired , it is okay that you're legitimately looking for something to comfort you when you're feeling so overwhelmed or so stressed or whatever you're feeling in that moment . Like to recognize the fact that you're feeling that way , that's totally fine , that's okay .

To not like be rate yourself or actually even to try to run away from that emotion , you know

. And when we can actually have that moment of awareness , recognize we're having a craving , recognize what's going on with us and then have that self-compassion to be like . What would you say to your best friend If she came to you and she was like I am so stressed out , I am so stressed right now ?

You would not be like , you shouldn't feel this way , go sit down over there , eat some broccoli . You wouldn't like come to your best friend but at the same time , if you knew that here's this poison that's going to actually make you feel more frazzled , stressed and anxious , that's not what you would offer your best friend either .

So we have to learn to treat ourselves with that compassion and respect and also to have other things that we can actually turn to that are going to help us in those moments that are not going to derail us or not going to be ultimately bad for us . Because when it's like , okay , well , I'm feeling really stressed . It's like what do you really need ?

You need something that's going to help you de-stress . That's going to help you calm down . Maybe what you actually need is to take a walk around the block do take some deep breaths . Maybe what you actually need is a moment in prayer .

Maybe what you actually need is to just be by yourself for a few minutes , which , as moms sometimes , that's why there's this whole mommy wine culture . It's like all these moms trying to escape the stress of being around their kids all the time . And it's like what if , instead of that , you just literally locked yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes ?

Like what if you just took a few minutes by yourself ? Or what if you just walked away and took a few deep breaths ? What like ? I mean and there's so many things that we could do but like just to kind of maybe have a protocol in place for yourself where it's like okay , these are the things that I can turn to when I'm feeling super stressed .

That's not a glass of wine . These are the things that I can do when I'm feeling really sad or really lonely . That's not going to actually make me feel worse and it can be anything Like . These things can be any , and it depends on your personality and like what helps you .

You could literally get up and clean a bathroom or something , if that's actually something that makes you feel more accomplished , more you know , when you're feeling sad or when you're you know .

So it really just depends on , like , what's the trigger emotion that you're trying to kind of bury with the alcohol or whatever you're craving , and then to just use your intellect and your will to say , like , okay , what is something that in these moments I know , and decide them in advance , because in the moment your brain's not going to come up with them ,

like in the moment you're going to be like it's wine , that's what it is , it's wine , yeah , exactly . So you need to have something else .

You need to have this protocol in place for yourself when you're like , okay , when I have a really bad day at work and I come home and I'm really stressed and anxious and I would really like to pour a glass of wine , this is what I'm going to do instead and if you have to , like , stick it on a post-it note on your cabinet , or if you have to put it

somewhere like where you're going to see it , like to remind yourself that you do have a plan in place that's going to help you . With compassion , take really good care of yourself .

Have a list of things you can do instead . That's something I do with my clients , like I have them make a list of like 30 to 50 things . Like you said .

It can be something so little Like I feel better if my kitchen sink is clean and somebody might be like , well , that's not self-care , but actually it feels like self-care to me if I can clean it and say nobody put anything in this or you're gonna be out of the house .

They're like I don't understand a bubble back and you're like , okay , no , that's cool , because if that's you , that's you Like a bubble . You know some people like for me , like having accomplished a project makes me feel like so much better .

But for other people , you know , like a warm bath or maybe a call , maybe a phone call to a friend or you know whatever it is gonna be that's gonna actually help you . And so , yeah , that's why it's totally personal . It has to be something that's gonna be a reward and a treat for you , not what would necessarily be like for everybody .

That's why we're all different and , like you said , we all have our different strengths and all of that .

So the last questions that I wanna ask you is what advice would you give to someone who is struggling to prioritize their health and wellness by , you know , just struggling the day to day , you know motherhood , or having a business , or working outside the home . This is something I hear so much in relation to sobriety .

Like I just don't have time to like focus on that and I know you probably hear a ton . So what are some ? What's some advice that you would give around that ?

So my number one piece of advice is to recognize that the a little bit goes a long way and that it's really a mindset shift of like oh , I don't have time to get healthy , I don't have time to get sober , I don't have time to whatever . It's like actually you're already doing , like , you're already living right , you're already eating every day .

You know you're already going about your daily tasks , and so one thing I really like to help my clients recognize is that they can take like very tiny little micro steps or like little habits that have outsized payoff and benefit , that really make them feel so much better , so quickly , that really don't take that much extra time or energy every day .

Because , yeah , I get that all the time . It's like well , I don't have the time or energy it would require to do this and I'm like OK , but these are actually things that are going to give you more time and energy . So , first of all , they will multiply and magnify , you will feel like you have that , and then the second thing is just to just recognize .

You know , it's kind of like the Pareto principle applied to our lives and our lifestyle habits , which is that you know , 20% of our efforts are going to have 80% of our results and so don't bother killing yourself for an extra . You know like working an extra 80% harder to get 20% results . Instead , let's focus on what are those 20% habits .

Let's focus on just those things that are going to have big results and then , once you've kind of got those in place and you recognize they're really not taking that much more time and effort in your day , you might feel like you're ready to kind of like optimize a little bit more from there .

But yeah , it can be really small and it doesn't have to take a lot of time to have a lot of impact .

So I love that , because I am kind of one of those people where I just want it all done at like . Like I exercise one day and then I'm like , oh , I should have like all this muscle mass because I . But it doesn't work like that . You have to like build it up over time .

So , ok , well , you are doing some amazing work over at a thriving Catholic and I know that you have some things going on . So I just want you to share with my listeners anything new that you have coming up and or old that you have , you know going , and then how they can get a hold of you .

This webinar is going to be coming up and you can find out more about it and register for it and find out more about everything I'm doing at my website , which is a thriving Catholic dot com , and then for the webinar it's a thriving Catholic dot com forward slash energy webinar .

And so , yeah , that would be a fun way to find out what I'm doing and also to have a have a free webinar to help you figure out how you can have more .

And when I say all day energy , you know , like that study energy from when you wake up energized to you have the energy to do everything you need to do in the day and go to bed when you're tired and , yeah , you don't need a lot . How you can have that when you don't even have any time , no time .

It's kind of I , when you were talking about it , just remind me of God's grace , right ? The more we cooperate with God's grace , the more grace is we have to accomplish his will , and the same is true with health .

The more we do for our health , to optimize our health , the more the better we feel and the more we want to do more to you know , yeah , it's like an even better positive spiral . It is . Yeah , it's great . Oh , jessica , thank you so much for being here . It has been such a blessing to have you and everybody again .

Go check out Jessica Castillo at a thriving Catholiccom . Thank you so much , my friend . You're so welcome . All right , we'll chat soon .

Well , I hope you enjoyed that episode with Jessica Castillo of a thriving Catholic . Be sure to check out her amazing webinar three secrets to getting all day energy when you have no time . That is going to be such a good webinar and I can't wait to check it out myself . Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic sobriety podcast .

I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing .

I am the Catholic sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , the catholic sobriety coachcom . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic sobriety coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .