EP 89: Embracing God's Plan: Nourishing Body & Spirit with Brigid Tebaldi of Loreto Wellness

I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . My guest today is Bridgette Tabaldi . She is married to a wonderful man and is blessed with five little ones .

She owns Laredo Wellness , where she coaches women to help them prepare for natural birth by honoring their body and maternal instincts and supporting them in trusting God's plan . She also helps women in healing their birth story and overcoming the effects of traumatic births by helping them foster the development of a stronger and more resilient sense of self .

Bridget holds a certified women's health coaching Billings Ovulation Method Instructor and has late midwifery training . She enjoys spending time on her family's farm , playing with her horses , watching the kids ride their bikes or reading . Welcome , bridget . Yeah , thank you so much . Yeah , so let's just get started .

Can you just share with us a bit about how your personal journey led you to focus on the importance of physiological birth for women's well-being ?

So again , it began whenever I was going through that process of becoming a mother , and then I just had this incredible connection to like my body , what my body was capable of , and then also just this idea of like , how does God fit into all of this ?

And we actually named our first daughter Grace because during my labor my husband just kept saying rosary after rosary , because he didn't know what else to do , because we didn't really prepare for anything . We just kind of went in and winged it and that was his way of coping with everything and it , thanks be to God , worked out super well .

And then from there it led me to realize how crucial it is for women to trust their bodies and their intuition and to also trust God in this process as well , because ultimately he created it .

And so from there it led me to study midwifery and then to eventually help guide moms towards peaceful natural births and so that they understand what the importance of the physiology is , so that they can not feel pressured by medical professionals who might want them to do certain things or have certain tests to help them to understand and release their desire to

have this natural birth , whether that be at their home or birth center or hospital , especially if they lack that support from their immediate family or community .

In that other stage and my journey towards menopause , and when you were saying that you help women trust their bodies and like get to know their bodies and kind of advocate for themselves , I think that that is something that women really need to know from the time they are young , even before they start their menstrual cycle , all the way through to post-menopause .

So that's something that I'm learning more and more , because I used to rely a lot on what the doctors would tell me and I have a lot of regrets about a lot of things based on just following doctor's orders , thinking I was doing the right thing versus what I knew to be right .

So you deal with helping women advocate for themselves , have those natural births , realizing that they actually do have a say in how things go , even though we don't have total control over things , obviously . But then , of course , there's birth trauma .

Do you see a connection in your work between trauma from birth experiences leading to issues with substance abuse or maybe just misusing a substance or food or something else to cope , and then how that also trickles in and affects their mental health during the time in and affects their mental health during the time ?

The thing that I really try to stress is that that care practitioner , while they might know all of the things in the world about a certain topic , say they don't know you . So that's the biggest thing is they don't know what you're feeling in that moment . They don't know what it is that you're experiencing .

So , while they can again give you the options to do certain things , it ultimately should be what it is that feels best for you , because , again , you're the one that's experiencing that . And then back to your question yes times .

Whenever I work with women who have experienced challenging , difficult births , one of the biggest things that they say is that it feels like they've lost control or they weren't in control of that situation . And obviously you guys know this is that whenever you feel out of control in one area of your life , you try to gain control in a different area .

So most of the time . That manifests especially whenever you now have a child to take care of and you might not have the freedoms that you used to have , where it's like you had control of your time . Now you don't necessarily have control over your time and you had a terrible birth that you didn't have any say in .

So now you have these different conflicting things in your head going on , these different traumas in your brain that tell you that you need to gain control . And the only way that you can gain control because you can't control your baby and you can't tell them to just stop crying doesn't work like that .

So the way that a lot of women gain control is by trying to control something else , whether that be what it is that they eat , how often they're on their phones , screen time , maybe , what it is that again they're drinking , or just any of those things that they actually can control they kind of cling to , so that their brain gets that feeling of okay , I'm in

control of something , so therefore I'm safe , whereas what they should be doing and I've gone through this myself , so there is zero judgment at all but what they should be doing is that they should be doing , and I've gone through this myself , so there is zero judgment at all .

But what they should be doing is that they should be digging to the root of the problem to say I have experienced this trauma . My brain is trying to heal itself , because anytime you have a trauma , it is essentially a brain injury that you need to heal . I've experienced this trauma .

I need to heal from this trauma so that I can move into a place where I have peace , instead of feeling like I need control .

They're still able to do everything in their normal lives . They're feeling fine elsewise , but they just feel like something is off . They might snap at their lives . They're feeling fine elsewise , but they just feel like something is off . They might snap at their kids , they might just start crying randomly any of those different feelings that they have .

And one of the first questions I ask is are you eating ? Like , are you sitting down to eat food ? Because if you are not nourishing your body , first off , all your organs aren't going to work well , you're not going to feel good , but then also your brain is not going to get those nutrients that it needs in order to heal whatever trauma that occurred .

And then from there , then you can start to incorporate some of the healing exercises through , like talking to somebody about it , doing some guided meditations , prayers , those sorts of things . So one of the first things that we talk about is actually eating nutritious foods .

So sitting down , having a plan of what it is that you're eating , eating snacks throughout the day and just really nourishing yourself , especially in those early postpartum days , that's super , super important . And then from there , super , super important . And then from there usually things start to mellow out .

You become less irritable , you become more patient , you basically become who you were before , instead of having this new person that you don't necessarily know who this is .

So by allowing yourself time to sit and eat and to just giving yourself that grace of eating , it really does help to heal you and to move you into that place where you can feel less like you need to hold on to other areas of control in your life .

and happy and making sure that the babies had everything that they needed , that they were changed , that they were fed , that they napped . And it really did take a toll on my body and , by the grace of God , I still kind of had my wits about me . But I remember thinking when will I ever feel normal again ? When will I ever sleep again ?

I was sleep deprived . You were mentioning nutrition and all of a sudden , having birthed two babies , my body had just gone through like a trauma in and of itself . So with all of that in mind , you talked about nutrition . There's also the sleep aspect of it . Sometimes we're just like in survival mode .

So how do you help women like know how to slow down so that they can take that time ? Because women that I work with , and pretty much anybody that has any kind of disordered attachment it's . Usually there's something else going on , sometimes there's a root cause , but then also you might it's like that halt right . Hungry , angry , lonely , tired .

And those are big things for new moms hungry , angry , lonely , tired . And those are big things for new moms hungry , angry , lonely , tired . So how can they kind of assess that , while they're in the throes of new motherhood and healing their bodies and trying to care for these sweet little ones ?

Get your community in place before baby arrives . Get your community in place .

So that means if your church has , like our church , has this wonderful woman who does meal trains for people and it was I was really hesitant to do it , but it was such a gift because I would literally just have food show up on my doorstep and it was like this is amazing , I don't have to think about what I'm going to feed these five other people , like I

can just throw this in the oven and I can sit down and not do anything and it was so great . So , again , getting your community in place , accepting help from that community , which is again something that is really hard for a lot of women .

But if you think back , we were made to live in community , so we were made to have other people helping us and nowadays we're so disconnected from that that we don't have those communities in place where some other countries still do , but here in the US or in the Western world , typically it's like peace , you're on your own figure it out .

So yeah , community is a huge one If you can start prepping for foods in your freezer now or make things that will stay , so that again you don't have to really think about anything . It's more of like oh here's breakfast burritos , toss them in the oven here , kids eat these in the morning .

So it's like you're not up slaving away for breakfast , lunch and dinner it's already been done .

And then one thing that I always try to do which I haven't ever been personally successful at , but I try to do it is in those immediate postpartum days , to really take like a five , five , five rule or something around there . So it's like five days in the bed , five days on the bed and then five days around the bed .

Some people do like the first 40 days where it's like all they'll do is just lay in bed . So have something like that , if possible , in place , or in your head at least . So it's like I need five days in my bed . I can fold laundry and stuff . I'm not going to be getting up and doing crazy things that I shouldn't be doing .

You can bring things to me and I'll do them , but I'm not going to go out and do things and then just five days around words again , maybe tidying up your bedroom , doing laundry , light dusting , whatever things like that .

So , again , having a community in place , having a set rule of your life for like that first postpartum time that you have , and then just really prioritizing yourself because and again , as a mom , I am not good at this , most moms are not good at this and I don't really love the term self-care because that's sort of been hijacked in this world and the culture

that we live in but again , making time for yourself is super , super important . Again , I'm not good at it , so I don't expect you to really listen to me about how to do this , but I do try to get people to do this where take five minutes to go for a walk , even if you have the baby strapped on you , or even if you need to .

We're not big on tv or anything , but sometimes it's like the kids get to watch a show on formed for 20 minutes so that I can just sit and like not have to worry about their safety or anything , like they're happy , they're safe , just doing those little tiny things can be really helpful every day .

And then one thing that , because I do work with primarily Catholic women , is really trying to get rosaries in , so can you say a rosary with either yourself or with your family , and just again trying to make little pockets of time so that you can have a little bit of space for yourselves .

And then also we really talk about giving thanks to God for everything that we have , because that practice of gratitude is a huge thing in changing your mindset . So even when you're in the throes of that early postpartum , just trying your best to be thankful can make a huge difference from a mindset standpoint .

So , as you're working with women , especially women that are pregnant and I love that you talk to them before giving birth so that they can kind of have a plan , they can set up that community and do all that I think that that is super important , probably just sets them up in a really good place for when the baby does come home and they're doing all that

healing . But during pregnancy there can be a lot of anxiety and fear , and normal coping mechanisms , like maybe a glass of wine at night or something to calm down , isn't always an option for us . So what are some ways ?

When women are experiencing anxiety and of course we get that not just because we're going to be becoming new mothers or mothers again and being entrusted with another soul , but because there's just a lot of hormonal things going on in our bodies and so we can react and feel different , things that we normally wouldn't and that can cause us to want to self-medicate

with whatever that is . So how do you help women choose healthier coping mechanisms during pregnancy to kind of alleviate that anxiety or fear ?

So , for example , some women are really scared of the pain of birth or the pain of labor , and so again , we go into well , why do you have those pains ? And then , by going through and addressing those fears , again , it doesn't get rid of them , but it helps them to understand why they're having them .

And then from there , we can make an action plan of when this fear comes up . This is what you're going to remind yourself . So again , just for this , it's an easy one . But the fear of the pain during labor .

Instead of fearing that pain and being like , oh , my goodness , I cannot do this , and then that spiral of like I can't do this , I can't do this , I can't do this , we reframe it to say like no , you can do this because your contractions cannot be bigger than what your body allows , because your body is making the contractions .

And then from there you can get even more and say , like the contractions are like waves , where they're going to get bigger for a little bit , but then they're ultimately always going to crash back down . And in those breaks , that's whenever you're going to remember like my body can do this . My body is doing this .

So , as far as just coping mechanisms , again , understanding physiology is huge . If you can understand the physiology of birth and physiology , physiology just means like what's happening during it from a natural standpoint . So what's happening with your hormones ? What's happening ? Why is your body doing this ? Why is baby doing this ?

Maybe so like , why is baby breach or why is at any of those feelings that you're having ? Like we go through them and I help you understand why it is that you're feeling those and then by understanding that , by understanding the why , first off , that helps you feel just a little bit better .

Some visualization exercises around them , a lot of journaling exercises if they're into journaling , which most women will take time to journal , which is great and then again just coming back to the idea that God gave us these fears for a reason , or God gave us these feelings for a reason and , instead of trying to put a band-aid over them , really digging into

them and asking God to either heal those whatever it is that you're dealing with , or to help you understand whatever it is that you're dealing with Because , again , ultimately you can't do this on your own , like he has to be .

with you . I remember when I was going through both of my birth experiences giving birth to my twins and then to my youngest son I would say the Hail Mary every time a contraction came .

I just automatically did that because if I didn't , I knew that my mind was going to be focused on the pain or , like you were saying , I can't do this and I was like , okay , I just trained myself to automatically say the Hail Mary and it was so beneficial because I just felt so covered by Our Lady and just filled with the power of the Holy Spirit , because

our bodies are amazing and God created them the way that they needed to be created to do what they're blessed to be able to do . The way that you are helping women physically , mentally and spiritually .

That holistic approach to the lead up to birth and then even after giving birth is just so important and so critical , because so often we're left with resources that only give us part of the picture . I didn't know any Catholic women like you doing what you were doing when I had my children , or even to seek out that and what a gift that would have been .

So I'm just so grateful that God placed that on your heart and for your yes to actually take your experiences and your knowledge and share that with other women .

I think that's so beautiful and such a testament to the way that when we see a need in our world for something and God has kind of equipped us through our own experiences and then through other people's stories that we encounter to help others , we're really just being His hands and feet and bringing that love and comfort into the world and showing people like you

don't have to do it any other way than the way that the Lord is guiding you to and , as you're saying , like the way that your body is guiding you to as well . So listening to all of that , I think , is so important .

So , speaking about faith , do you see a way that our Catholic community can better support women at that intersection of birth trauma , maybe substance abuse or disordered attachment , like when they're struggling , and then other mental health challenges that mothers face , like postpartum depression or other things that happen before , during and after giving birth ?

So I'm trying to build something like that where I can have this community of moms who can come in , who are first-time moms , and then also have moms who are older moms , who might not be having kids anymore , and having that community aspect of things . It's just taking a little while because , again , I have five little kids and they are my priority right now .

So I'm trying to build something like that , but as far as something that's already in place , again we don't have anything that's just all encompassing . Again , there's some organizations that specify or that look specifically at postpartum . That's a really big one .

So what we could be doing is creating groups at our churches , because at my church there's a ton of moms . We have tons and tons of babies everywhere .

So it would be great if we could all come together , have a day we do it once a month where it's like we call it the homeschool day , but really it's just like the moms come together and chat , the kids all play .

So it's that , just that community aspect , where it's nothing formal but it allows time for older moms to help mentor younger moms and younger moms to get their questions answered and just to have that community aspect . It's really beautiful .

So I definitely say trying to again , even if it's not like a birth-specific thing just trying to create a group in your community or in your church where you can come together , ask questions , just share in friendship , camaraderie . But as far as like an all-encompassing group , I'm not aware of one yet , but hopefully I can have mine finished up soon .

I remember my youngest I was invited to participate in a Bible study and I was like I can't because I have him and they're like , oh , just let him come and run around , it'll be fine , and so I would give him stuff to do and everything . But it was fine for them and I'm sure he was a little distracting , but it was so hard for me because I did .

I mean , I got a lot out of it but at the same time I felt bad because I was the only one that had a child there .

So I think having those groups specific where you have kids that can , like you were saying , play together , the moms can chat , or maybe one of my favorite things was a summer book study I did with a group of other moms , like at a park and our kids played like on the playground and we talked about each chapter each week and did it imperfectly but it was

so beautiful . So more things like that at our parish . You said like older moms mentoring younger moms . I think that would be amazing , like that's such a great idea , because I mean , how many of us like my age , that I have kids now that are older ? I would love to just sit around and hold babies for younger moms .

I think that's such a great idea , and our priests and our clergy are so stretched right .

So it's really time for the lay people to step up and , instead of saying , oh well , my parish doesn't have this , or I wish my parish did this , or I want this at my parish , instead of just like bellyaching about it , let's rise up and like figure out a way to make it happen , obviously with the blessing of our pastor . But let's do it .

Let's make it happen instead of just wishing and hoping and letting that just kind of pass by and not happen .

Yeah , I love that , 100% agree so what are , as we're wrapping up , just what are , some key takeaways that you hope that my listeners will gain regarding this link between birth experiences , maternal well-being and taking care of ourselves in a healthy and holistic way ?

Obviously , children are a blessing , but , looking at the bigger picture , he's given you this desire for some reason , and I would really just encourage you to dig into that desire . So again , you desire to have a child . What does that mean ?

Does that mean that you want to kind of just do what everybody else does in this world and just go that route , or do you want to kind of be a little bit radical about it and really raise them in the faith so that they can become Catholics who will help change the world ?

So that was one of the first things that we , as parents , had to do was are we just going to do what everybody else is doing ? Are we going to be a little bit weird and really try to raise our children in a way that aligns with our faith ? So starting there is super important .

And then , just before you again , even if you're pregnant or if you're thinking about it , just really , really learn about your body , because God made our bodies amazing . If you look at any part , just one piece of your body , it's incredible . Even just looking at I don't know something like your ear or how your ear functions , it's just amazing .

And then that's not even taking into account an organ that is literally growing a new life Like . It's just amazing .

And understanding how your body works and just keeping in mind that , again , god created you for this and that the world might be telling you that you can't do this , but that's a lie , that doesn't come from God , and that , for whatever reason , if your birth doesn't go exactly how you're planning it , that for some reason God has allowed that it's not necessarily

his perfect will for you , but it's his allowed will for you so that he is allowing this . And again , it might not make sense in the moment , but ultimately he is going to bring good from it .

And it might not have been that you maybe needed this birth to happen in the way that it happened , but maybe it's that somebody on your care team needed that your birth to happen so that they could be changed or something in their life could change . So , just trying to keep in mind that , again , god allows God .

Whatever God allows , it's always going to be for your good , even if it feels like it never is going to be for your good . And then , just as you move into this transformative time of becoming a mother , is , again , it is hard . It is not easy to be a mom . In many days I am tired . I don't want to answer another question about why does this happen ?

Why does this happen ? Why does this happen ? I don't want to make any more food . I don't want to make , I don't want to get the next glass of water , but I know I just have to tell myself that God put me here for a reason .

In motherhood , and just allowing myself to lean into that , whatever stage that is for you , is going to be the greatest and like biggest blessing that you can do for yourself . Because again , it's you allowing God to work through you so that you can raise these little saints to come to heaven . So that is the biggest thing is , again , motherhood is hard .

It's hard before you even get pregnant . It's hard while you're pregnant . It's hard during birth . It's hard after birth .

I don't know if I would be doing what I'm doing now if I hadn't been a mom , because it just empowered me to know like , like I can do like really hard things If you let it . It will just prune you and transform you . And it does get easier , necessarily when they're older . I mean , some things do get a lot easier , some things get a lot harder .

That letting go stage is like it's heartbreaking , it's hard , but all the stages you know are and I talk to women of adult children and even they say you know that's like a whole different type of hard , but yet there's so many blessings in that as well . So I am sure that people are going to want to know where to find you .

You post a lot of great information that I wish that I would have known when I was pregnant , on your Instagram page and probably other places . So why don't you just let people know all the things about you and where they can find you ?

And , yeah , I would love to connect with anybody over there . So whenever I take these stories , I'm always like this , so I have no idea even what I'm showing . Just a little warning you get like real life with us here , which I think most people appreciate . But I'd love to see you there . Let me know if you're coming from this show . Love to chat .

I think it's awesome because showing up is better than not showing up . Showing up , however we are , and as soon you know , I'm sure God places it on your heart Like today's the day , Bridget , like we're doing this and you're like , okay , let's do it . I love that . So thank you , Bridget , so much for being here .

I'm sure my listeners have gained a ton of information , whether they are in that time of their lives of having little ones , or even beyond . I think that there was something here for all of us . So thank you so much . Yeah , thank you . It was a great conversation .

Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend , who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing .

I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at thecatholicsobrietycoach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you . You are not alone .