EP 77 MINISODE: How I stay Alcohol Free: Tips and Insights

This week I was asked by a client how I have been able to be alcohol-free for so many years , especially early on in my sobriety , knowing that I had stopped going to AA two years into my recovery . And you know , I thought that was a great question because it's really something important for me to think about and remember .

So I thought for today's mini-sode I'd reveal the answer I gave , because it was very helpful for my client and I hope it'll be helpful for you too . Now I do plan to do an episode on my real thoughts about AA , but this is not that episode on my real thoughts about AA . But this is not that episode .

What I will say is , when I got sober , aa was the only game in town , and I mean other than maybe going to a rehab facility . I did go through outpatient treatment through my medical provider , which wasn't I wasn't very successful with that , but at the same time I was able to maintain 90 days of sobriety , which I had never been able to do before .

So in that respect it was a win , and I always say there's no failure in trying , it's all learning . So I did definitely learn something from that experience , even if I wasn't quite ready to take the plunge .

But when I entered the room I was met with compassion and understanding and love , and I gained tools that I have used throughout these 27 years and it has helped me stay alcohol-free has helped me stay alcohol-free . In fact , many of the steps in AA felt very familiar to me as a Catholic . So no doubt Alcoholics Anonymous has saved countless lives and families .

There just came a time when it wasn't for me anymore . There were things that just didn't sit right with me and I began leaving the rooms feeling really unsettled , and that's when I knew it was time for me to move on .

Now there was a point before I left AA when I asked God to remove my desire to drink , because I was really , really struggling , and he did it . Because I was really , really struggling and he did it .

Now , that didn't mean that I felt confident in every situation that involved alcohol , and it didn't mean that I had gotten myself together financially or I had mended all of my relationships or I was even making great choices because for sure I was not but I was getting better and stronger and definitely moving in the right direction , even if it was a slow roll .

So how did I deal with feeling like the only one who didn't drink when I actually started drinking in the first place ? To be part of a community ? If you've listened to my story , you know that I started drinking to be part of something , to be someone , to be liked , to be loved , to be included .

Alcohol was like the magic elixir , a key to a door that I was sure behind it was everything that I had ever wished for . But here's the truth For everything that alcohol promises , it takes away so much more . It is a thief . It's a thief of time energy . It's a thief of time energy . It's a thief of youth , your health , vitality .

Alcohol is a thief of authentic relationships and of mental clarity and so much more . And that is what I had to remember . That is what I have always kept in my mind . Alcohol is poison for me . I have seen what addiction can do to people firsthand .

I have seen what a life , attached to a substance designed to numb and distract , looks like from the outside , and it's devastating to witness Now . I once heard a man say in AA to think of alcohol like you do rat poison . He said you would never go into your garage , grab a box of rat poison and start eating it because you know it would kill you .

And that's how it is . For those of us who , for us , one drink is too many and a thousand is never enough , alcohol is as dangerous to us as rat poison If we continue to drink . It isn't a matter of if it will kill us less , but when .

If I continued to drink , if I picked up a bottle today , everything would be taken away , including my life , because I literally can not stop . Now , some of you listening may not relate to this at all . Sure , you may overdo it and struggle a bit to maintain those healthy boundaries around your alcohol consumption .

Maybe you realize that alcohol is taking up more space in your life than you feel comfortable with and maybe you need some extra support and tools to do that , and that's why you're here . But you still need to hear this because no one is immune from addiction .

Anyone and I mean anyone can become addicted to alcohol if the misuse goes unaddressed , if the misuse goes unaddressed . That is why the work that I do is so focused on reaching those of you in that gray in-between area , the middle between normal drinking and addiction . Now , in those early days , I told myself if I drink I die .

Of course , unlike ingesting rat poison , it probably wouldn't happen right away . However , chances were probably pretty good that I would have ended up with a DUI .

I could have ended up in jail , I would probably end up homeless because everybody was sick of living with me , or I would have ended up in a very dangerous situation that could have had a horrific outcome . So I started reminding myself of all the things that would never happen as long as I stayed away from alcohol .

The I will nevers , if you will , and they go something like this . As long as I don't drink , I will never have a hangover , I will never get a DUI . I will never miss another Mother's Day because I was too hungover and I forgot . I will never call someone in the middle of the night and not remember what I said .

I will never wake up and wonder how the heck did I get here ? I will never waste another minute being wasted . I will never black out . And the list goes on . Now , as the years passed and I resisted alcohol , I got better jobs , I got married , I had kids .

I was able to fulfill my dream of staying home with my children fulfill my dream of staying home with my children and I started a freelance writing business . I returned to the Catholic Church . I helped start a women's Bible study at my parish , which we're going to be entering our ninth year in the fall .

I volunteered in various ways at my parish and at my children's school , and I have so many friends and

genuine connections with people . The best part is people know that they can count on me . They can count on me to be present , to be kind , to be supportive , that they can confide in me , that I will pray with them and for them and that I'm honest . If I started drinking again , everything I built would crumble away .

As long as I don't drink , my children will never see me drunk . My husband never has to worry that I will betray him . My family knows that when I say I will be there , I will be there and not hours later .

My friends know that when I am present with them , I am fully present , and my Lord knows that I am forever grateful and I'm doing the best that I can to lead others to him .

If you are struggling in your commitment to maintain your sobriety , or if you're wondering if drinking is becoming a problem for you , I encourage you to sit with the Lord and prayerfully make your list of things that will never happen again if you continued in your sobriety or started to live a life free from alcohol .

Well , that wraps up today's episode of the Catholic Sobriety Minisode . Thank you so much for joining me and please be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss a thing . And remember I am here for you , I am praying for you . You are not alone .