EP 46: MINISODE Learn How to Stop Making Snowballs and Start Cultivating PEARLS

Are you ready to stop making snowballs and start cultivating precious pearls for a real and sustained change in your drinking habits ? Are you wondering what the heck I'm talking about and what snow has to do with pearls and drinking ? Well , stay tuned to this mini-soad of the Catholic sobriety podcast . I'm going to break it down for you .

So if you were listening to my episode episode 34 , called the transformative power of the pearl technique , then you know a little bit about my pearl technique and why . The way a pearl is creative is just the perfect representation for this transformation that my clients experience when they use this technique to manage their mind . I'll just give you a brief .

If you didn't listen to episode 34 , I'll just give you a brief introduction . So a pearl is formed when an irritant makes its way into an oyster . The oyster starts secreting a layer of nacre . It's a liquid .

It's kind of like a swipe of nail polish is one layer of nacre and the oyster , or moloss , just keeps secreting layer after layer and eventually it forms this beautiful , luminous , precious pearl and it's pretty strong and durable and the irritant that was once bothering the oyster is not gone forever , but it is managed , contained , and now it has transformed into ,

you know , a testimony of sorts . It's a treasure , and so a lot of times when we misuse alcohol , instead of secreting those nice layers of nacre , we're just packing snow around the problem , right ?

So , let's say , you have these feelings of like shame , guilt and regret because once again , you know you overdid it on the drinking and now you just feel terrible and you promised yourself that you weren't gonna drink , but you just feel really , really awful and so you're just gonna go ahead and drink to numb those feelings . So that's the irritant .

And then you're just packing snow around it , right ? Just picture yourself picking up snow and that little irritant maybe it looks like a rock or who knows something and then you're just packing snow around it and packing snow around it , packing snow around it with every drink . And maybe it's not just alcohol , maybe it's like shows you're watching or scrolling .

You know all of these things that are making you feel comfort , they're making you kind of forget that problem or they're making it not be so irritating . And you know it works . You have , like this nice thick出來 , strong snowball , and it works for a while , right , but what happens to snow ? It melts Like it's not gonna stay that way forever .

And that is exactly what happens , because the next morning when we wake up , what are we holding in our hand ? The snowball is melted and we're left with that problem again .

Only , maybe we didn't get a good night's sleep because we were waking up , because the way that our body was processing the alcohol was disrupting our sleep , maybe we just feel sluggish , tired , irritable . You know all of those things . And on top of whatever , the original problem was that we were drinking to forget about or numb ourselves to .

So to create that real , lasting change , I've developed this pearl technique . And the pearl technique you're using this not just to , like , get it away from you , but you're actually using things to put around the irritant that are really actually going to protect you . They're not going to melt away .

So when we use the pearl technique , we're just layering , you know , some really good , substantial , a hard shell around that irritant , and to do this we use these five things . So pearl stands for pray , examine , analyze , reframe and leverage your faith .

And again , if you listened , in episode 34 , I talked about what each of those steps are , but I'll go over it a little bit more today . So the first one is pray .

So when we begin with prayer , we are pausing , we are praying Once we face the circumstance , the situation , whatever it is , that has kind of triggered us , or the urges come up , and we're just going to pause and pray , we're going to engage in a conversation with the Holy Spirit asking for strength and guidance .

You can do that in whatever way you know feels right for you and , after we've kind of calmed ourselves down , maybe even taking some deep breaths . How often do you take deep breaths ? Probably not that much . We take a lot of shallow breaths .

But when you pause and pray , I just ask you to take a deep breath and , as you blow out , begin your prayer and that'll just calm your nervous system so that you are in a good place for the next step .

Now the next step is examine , and what we do in the examine stage is we take time to reflect on our thoughts and feelings and understand their root causes . So a circumstance may have arose , and then you have a certain thought , and then that certain thought leads you to feel a certain emotion . Now , feelings are neither good nor bad , they're just feelings .

But we can change our thoughts so that we will get different emotions that will help us take actions , that will get us different results . So what you do in the exam phase is you examine those thoughts and feelings . Are those thoughts good thoughts Like ? Do they sound like God's voice ? Are they calming ? Are they convicting ? Are they kind ? Are they loving ?

If they're not , if they're condemning , if they're shaming , if they're criticizing , you know those aren't from God , and usually those types of thoughts are going to lead to feelings that bring about a result that is not what we want .

So then the next step is to analyze , and when we analyze , in this step we're looking at the facts of the situation and we are separating them from emotions , because the facts aren't feelings or opinions or thoughts , facts or facts . And so once we can separate those from our thoughts and feelings , it really helps us in the next step , which is reframe .

So when we reframe our thoughts , we are adjusting our thought process based on how we want to feel in this situation , not on the current emotions .

So if you want to feel accomplished , or if you want to feel encouraged , then you might want to change a thought like I have no willpower , which makes you feel defeated , to the thought that I am still working on building my sober muscles , and then that will make you feel encouraged and then you may take different actions .

All of this is laid out , by the way , in my five day free Sacred Sobriety Kickstart , which I have the link in the show notes . But you can also go to my website , the Catholic Sobriety Podcast , and there's a pop up there where you can sign up . It has videos , it has a workbook . You don't have to do it all in five days .

You can take your time and do it however you like . But I really break down the Pearl Technique for you in that also , anyone who goes through that kickstart will receive a discount off my Sacred Sobriety Lab , which is launching December 12th , and I'll have more information about that for you coming soon .

Okay , now we are on the last step of the Pearl Technique , which is leverage your faith .

So , if you notice the Pearl Technique again , we begin with prayer and we end in prayer , and when we leverage our faith , we are turning to the Lord , drawing upon our faith in God and asking for His help in guiding us in planning and preparing our next steps , and that will make sure that when we are faced with a circumstance like this again or something

similar , we will know what to do , because we've already made a plan and we've done it with the Lord . So I encourage you , every day with everything , just practice asking God what he thinks , asking for His advice , asking what you should do next . You will have so much more peace and clarity , even in the midst of struggle , which is going to happen .

It happens to all of us . But when we choose to do the work to make lasting change by creating a pearl , versus packing snow around our problems as a temporary fix , the snow will always melt , revealing our problems , but the pearl will encase that irritant in God's grace , in the tools , in the resources , in the information , in the clarity that you've gotten .

It's just so much more transformative and it will be lasting and it's going to be a tool that you will use for the rest of your life , not just in relation to your drinking , but lots of things in

life . So go out there and make some pearls and don't forget to sign up for the 5-day Sacred Subriety Kickstart . It's free . Well , that wraps up today's episode of the Catholic Subriety Mini-Sode . Thank you so much for joining me and please be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss a thing .

And remember I am here for you , I am praying for you . You are not alone .