Ep 40: MINISODE Exploring the 'Sober Curious' Movement from a Catholic Perspective

So the other night I was at a class and my husband texted me because he and our 10-year-old son were home and they were watching this game show called Snake Oil . Now , I don't know if you've ever seen this game show . It's kind of has a funny premise .

So it's kind of like it kind of reminds me of Shark Tank , where you have like these products and one of the products is real and one of the products is not real , and so you have to guess which one , or the contestants but you can play along at home have to guess which of the items is an actual product and which one is not .

So thus , being Snake Oil , it's just this funny show and spoiler alert a lot of times like the thing that you're like for sure that's not a thing anyone would buy and it's a thing like people buy . So anyway , they were watching this game show and my husband texts me and he said this lady on Snake Oils just said mocktails for the sober curious .

And then he wrote , ha ha . And then he said maybe that's a phrase you use . When I texted him back and I'm like I do use it , it's a thing .

So I thought , well , maybe I should talk about that today , because perhaps there are some people out there that haven't heard the term sober curious , or if you've heard it , maybe you're just not exactly sure what that means . So what does it mean to be sober curious ? Well , it's pretty much what it sounds like .

You're getting curious about what it would be like to reduce your alcohol intake or eliminate it completely .

And before you can take steps to even really do that , the first thing you have to do is observe yourself your drinking habits , why you're drinking , how you're drinking , how much you're drinking , what triggers your drinking , when you have urges and all those kinds of things .

It's also really important to start thinking about what thoughts you have that create certain feelings and emotions that drive you to want to have a drink . So there's a lot that goes into it . But you don't have to just start out from the gate and say , okay , I'm just never gonna drink again .

You , I mean , obviously you can if you want to , but One of the best ways to be consistent and maintain the level of sobriety that is right for you is to first get curious . Be a scientist , be a detective , start asking yourself questions , really observing yourself .

Sober curiosity is about exploring our relationship with alcohol and then making conscious decisions from a place of peace , about how and why and when we drink . Now this movement is resonating with women globally , and for good reason , because we have been bombarded with this messaging from big alcohol influencers TV , music , movies , you name it .

It has saturated our culture . We are an alcohol soaked culture where women are encouraged to cope with motherhood , numb out . Alcohol is promoted and promised to us as this elixir that is going to fix it all .

I remember being a little kid and being home from school and sick at home , watching the prices right , and then like a million of these Calgon commercials would come on , like Calgon , take me away . So it used to be . Calgon would help dissolve all your worries and make you feel so good at the end of the day after a hard day .

And now it's this mommy wine culture , it's this connection and alcohol and that we need it because we aren't strong enough as women or as mothers to find healthier ways to cope . It's just like . Here's this alcohol bandaid . Drink it . Well , it doesn't do a lot for us , right ? Like it disrupts our sleep , it can affect our gut health .

It makes us even more anxious than we were before we started drinking , which was the reason that we drink . It gets us stuck in a shame cycle loop , which I have a podcast episode on that . It just doesn't give us everything it promises . That being said , I have many clients that are like I don't want to give up drinking completely .

I want to just be able to use it in a way that is celebratory , where I'm calling the shots , I'm in control . I'm just getting so tired of feeling like it's controlling me , and I think that that resonates with a lot of women . I think that that is what many people are thinking , especially after COVID , right ?

We just kind of didn't have to worry about driving places or what people thought of us if we were drinking too much or maybe we were bored . So we're drinking , you know . So I've noticed a lot of women that I speak with that is really when their alcohol use escalated and even though they've maybe been able to kind of dial it down a little bit .

They are still feeling a lot of chaos around alcohol and the way that they're drinking , and they're not happy with it . That's where the sober curious movement comes in . As I said at the top of the show , you get to look at it , look at your drinking as an observer , without judgment , and decide what is alcohol giving you and what is alcohol taking away .

Now , for Catholic women , this movement is not just about reducing alcohol intake . It's about being able to maintain and cultivate our relationship with God . We want to live a life that is based on the values of our faith and we want to know that we are doing the best in our vocation as wives and mothers , or whatever our calling is Now .

Sobriety is not foreign to Catholicism . It's a concept that's embedded within the core tenets of our beliefs . It's about living a life of intention and values of temperance . It's a life that's centered on God's teaching and the ability to hear God's voice .

So when we cope or numb or whatever we are doing , when we are over drinking , overeating , over scrolling , whatever it is , to try to just feel better , when we are turning to creation instead of the creator , then we aren't getting the resolution that we would get if we just decided to take our worries , our anxieties , our struggles and lay them at the feet of

Jesus . Therefore , when we embark on this sober curious journey , we are not just reducing our alcohol intake , we're actually aligning our lives with God's teaching and we are pursuing His purpose for our life , and when we do that , then we live lives of more peace , more joy and more fulfillment . Now , the benefits of the sober curious movement are numerous .

As Catholic women , we often lead busy lives , from career to family obligations , homeschooling , etc . And those can all leave us feeling depleted .

And again , though drinking alcohol may feel like a good way to cope with stress and anxiety , studies show that it only worsens it and , by the way , I don't know about you , but my memory is not the greatest and alcohol has actually been shown to actually shrink our brains .

Therefore , by choosing to explore our relationship with alcohol , we're choosing to engage with a life that honors the authentic versions of ourselves .

Our bodies , ladies , are temples of the Holy Spirit , and if we really think about that and know that , then we will do our best to honor this one beautiful body that our Lord gave us that houses our immortal soul , people , darkens our will and our intellect , which means that it can block us from experiencing God's grace and hinders our spiritual growth .

We can remain spiritually immature or maybe even not produce the good fruit that God has for us . So when we , as Catholic women , embrace our sobriety , we create a deeper connection within our faith , within our families , within our parishes and communities , and we are open to experiencing and encountering Jesus and receiving His grace freely and fully .

So when we decide to drink less or not at all , it actually has a ripple effect on other people , because people see us not drinking or being very discerning about how much and when we drink , and that's kind of infectious . It's like , oh well , they can do it , and they seem happy and comfortable and funny hilarious , dare I say .

And yeah , and we don't even need alcohol to do that .

So when we do that , when we show up that way , it encourages others to also look at their relationship to alcohol and decide whether or not it's serving them , because maybe it's not , maybe they're struggling silently and they haven't said anything , and your example or your encouragement just gives them hope that they don't have to go on living in the chaos that

they are . So if you are a Catholic woman looking for a healthier , vibrant lifestyle , the sober curious movement is an amazing place to start . I mean you can even just use sober curious in hashtags and look up different posts about , you know , sobriety .

You can look up sober curious movement that'll bring up things and just kind of get curious and see what's out there and what people are saying about it , what they have to say about their own journeys .

You can follow people along and sometimes you will see people that are really struggling and then they have a stint of sobriety and then they struggle again and then they have another big chunk of time when they are sober and it's really just beautiful to see this , because not because people are falling , but because they're getting back up and they're continuing on

. Once you start this journey , your drinking will never be the same . It won't be as carefree , and every step you take toward learning about how you drink and why you drink is just going to move you closer to where you want to be , to the level of sobriety that is right for you .

When you have a moment of weakness and you drink , do not take that as a failure . Take that as a learning experience , and that's the best time to ask yourself questions and journal and reflect and , most of all , pray and ask God what he wants you to know from this experience . It's beautiful , it is life-changing .

You will be transformed and you will not be disappointed , I promise . Well , that wraps up today's episode of the Catholic sobriety mini-soad . Thank you so much for joining me and please be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss a thing . And remember I am here for you , I am praying for you , you are not alone .