Ep 4: Why I call myself a "Recovering Alcoholic" - but you don't have to.

I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety coach , and I am so glad you're here Today . On the podcast . We are going to talk about labels , and what I mean by that is how those of us who are sober identify ourselves . So I personally identify myself as a recovering alcoholic or recovered alcoholic .

I don't just generally put that out there , though . In most social situations people just know me as a non-drinker . But close friends and family members and I guess anyone who listens to this podcast or follows any of my social media or goes to any of my talks , I guess they also know that I'm a recovering alcoholic .

So how that got started for me is that I do know that I have an alcohol . Use disorder is what it . I've heard it categorize , as I've also just heard of it being called a disordered attachment to alcohol . But I really don't have any issues saying that I have alcoholism or I had alcoholism .

It doesn't really bother me because to me , having that label in my mind just reminds me that if I have one drink of alcohol , that could set me back to where I was before . So if I drink alcohol let's say I mean I've had 25 years of sobriety but let's say I decided , hmm , I wonder if I could moderate my drinking .

I could tell you with absolute certainty that maybe I would be able to moderate for a short amount of time , but I promise you I would be right back to consuming just probably as much as I could get my hands on . So that is not the same for everyone .

And sometimes people I have , clients , who do want to moderate their drinking , decrease their drinking or even eliminate drinking altogether , but they do not consider themselves an alcoholic , they don't identify with that term at all , they don't want to be associated with that and that is totally fine .

As far as the term alcoholism goes , there's not really a prescribed checklist for what alcoholism is . So alcoholism generally is a term that's used to describe a very serious form of problem drinking . It usually causes extensive harm to your health , to your life in general , your ability to perform , you know regular tasks .

There are people who are considered like high functioning alcoholics and those might be people who can keep a job and don't necessarily appear that their alcohol is causing them a lot of issues , like on the outside , but inside or within their family or within certain relationships or activities it is causing a lot of issues .

So if you go to a doctor and you're wondering If you are an alcoholic , there are some things that they might do to assess whether or not you have a problem with alcohol . So the first thing they're going to do is ask you some questions related to your drinking habits .

They'll probably perform some kind of physical exam to see if you have any signs that show that you do have complications related to your alcohol use .

There might be some testing lab tests that go along with that , and then they may even do a psychological evaluation , which would include asking you about your thoughts and feelings , behavior patterns and those types of things .

So some of the signs that a person could look at to assess whether or not they do have a dependency on alcohol would be to look at their alcohol use . Do you have an impaired control over alcohol ? Like if you do set boundaries for yourself , are you able to keep those ?

So I have clients who they used to consume maybe two or three glasses of alcohol you know of wine a night , let's say .

And then pretty soon it turned into a glass of wine every night and then before they knew it it turned into half a bottle of wine or even a bottle , like they wouldn't even be able to have any alcohol , any wine like , in the fridge , because they would want to finish that bottle of wine . So they started to have impaired control over their alcohol use .

Now they might be able to moderate , like a lot of women . A lot of us can stop drinking for nine months and be fine , but then as soon as we're given the green light to drink again , then we can kind of go back into those habits and it's really remarkable about how quickly that can happen .

So if you're one of those people , it doesn't necessarily mean that you're an alcoholic or anything like that , but it may be time to really take a look at how alcohol is affecting your life . Another sign that there's an increase dependence on alcohol is that you're making it a priority .

So you want to make sure that you have situations , or you are in situations , where there will be drinking , or you may prioritize drinking over other daily activities and even responsibilities .

So if drinking is more important than you know getting places on time , hanging out with your friends , being present for your family then that could be a sign that you are struggling with a disorder attachment to alcohol . And then there's also other unwanted effects from drinking that can happen A lot of us . We use alcohol to maybe fall asleep faster .

I think that , oh , if I drink a glass of wine , or two or three or a bottle , I will sleep better , and what most of us find is that it may help you fall asleep fast , but you're waking up in the middle of the night or you're not having a restful night's sleep for other reasons .

So that is also something that you'd want to take a look at , and I actually have a free resource that I created . It's a 12 page resource and it's called Step Into Subriety .

It's just for people who want to , you know , like , decrease or even eliminate alcohol from their lives for any reason , and it has a lot of the same tools that I use with my clients .

And , again , it's just meant to bring awareness to your drinking so that you can find out when you're drinking , why you're drinking , how much you're drinking , what thoughts are coming up for you before and after . There's habit trackers and all kinds of stuff in there . So I will leave a link for that in the show notes .

And again , it's free and you can go ahead and grab it . But the reason why I'm bothering to tell you all of this is again related to labels . So one of the reasons that I stopped going to Alcoholics Anonymous again , I have a lot of love for AA , but it laid the foundation for me .

But I left because I didn't like continually having to identify myself as an alcoholic because I wasn't anymore , I wasn't drinking . Now if I started drinking again , yes , I would be an alcoholic , because that's just what I am . Okay , I can't change that . What I can change is if I'm drinking or if I'm not .

So if I'm not drinking , then I'm in control and I'm not an alcoholic . But I am a recovered alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic . So those again are the terms I use . But you don't really have to call yourself anything . You don't have to have any sort of terms .

But I find that what prevents some women from wanting to get curious about the role that alcohol plays in their lives is the fear that they're going to have to say that they're an alcoholic or admit that they're an alcoholic or something like that , and that is certainly not the case .

Okay , you do not have to say that , you don't have to identify as an alcoholic , you know none of that .

But the healthy way to do it is just to look at your drinking and if it is playing a big role in your life , if it is not serving you anymore , if it is affecting your family and your health and your sleep and your relationships and your job , then maybe it's time to get really curious about your alcohol consumption and make some changes and see what happens .

So that's what I always challenge people is just remove alcohol from your life . For , you know , 30 , 60 , 90 , 100 days is awesome , because that gives you a pretty good scope of what , how you're gonna reap the benefits health-wise when you stop drinking . You'll find that you have better mental clarity and your decision-making is better .

Your eating patterns might improve , but they might not , because I know some people who give up alcohol and then they kind of replace that with , you know , like chocolate or something . So you need to be aware of that .

When you stop drinking or if you're , you know , giving it up for a time you will definitely find that you are better hydrated , because when you drink alcohol , it actually dehydrates you and that's part of the reason that you want to drink more .

So you'll be better hydrated , you'll have more energy , you'll sleep better , you may even find that you lose weight and , yeah , you might save some money . So you could put that money into doing something fun for yourself .

Like , instead of having that nightly glass of wine , maybe you get some really fun like and pampering , like facial scrubs or masks or those types of things , and during the time when you would usually consume alcohol and kind of numb out , maybe you just kind of pamper yourself . In that way it feels really good and you won't wake up with a hangover .

So now , let's say , after this experiment of not drinking , you discover that maybe your relationship with alcohol isn't a healthy one . So then , what Do you ? Now you have to call yourself an alcoholic and the answer is no , you don't have to , I don't have to . But it actually helps me to express just how serious my disordered attachment is .

So it's not just me saying no , I don't want to drink for health reasons , or , you know , I can moderate , but I , you know , I'm choosing not to drink at all . It's not that like the reason why I tell friends and family close friends and family that I'm an alcoholic and they have no problem sharing .

That is that it keeps me honest , and it definitely did in those very early days , because I decided that the more people that knew that about me , the less likely I was going to drink . Because if anyone saw me pick up a beer or you know whatever , they'd be like hey , I thought you were an alcoholic . You probably shouldn't be doing that .

I don't know if anybody would have done that , said that , but you know . So there's a little bit more of a reason why I can't drink , because for me it's life or death . So the good news is that there's no need to call yourself an alcoholic . Okay to get sober . You don't have to .

In fact , there are millions of people who don't drink for a variety of reasons , and they're not alcoholics , they're not even alcohol dependent . They are just sober for whatever reason that they want to be sober . That could be for health reasons , that could be for religious reasons , that could be , you know , for just personal reasons .

You know it doesn't really matter why a person doesn't drink and you don't need to have a label to explain yourself . I mean , even as someone who does consider myself a recovering alcoholic , I don't have to have to use that label anytime or ever . I just can explain that I don't drink , which is what I do most of the time .

I just say , oh , alcohol and me don't mix . Or I've said , oh , I left all that drinking back in my 20s . Or you know , I'll just say different things that are kind of just , you know , lighthearted . Let people know I don't drink .

Sometimes people push it a little bit and be like , oh , you're probably , it's fine , you should have one , or you know whatever , because they don't understand . You know , it doesn't really matter . I don't have to explain myself to anyone . I can just say no , and eventually people are going to take the hint and they will stop asking .

So I just hope my hope is in recording this podcast that more people who want to examine what a life without alcohol would look like or be like or feel like , will take the plunge without fear that they're going to all of a sudden discover they're an alcoholic or be worried about having to identify themselves in a certain way , like you don't have to do .

That is the point of this entire podcast . So I hope that that has been helpful for you , and if you have any questions at all related to quitting drinking or moderating drinking , or if you do think that you are an alcoholic , you know , please feel free to contact me . I'll have my contact information at in the show notes .

Feel free to reach out to me by email or on social media , but I do have a lot of experience with working with women who are in recovery , who are recovering alcoholics and do identify themselves that way , and also working with women who just want to get sober for any reason . Well , that does it for this episode of the catholic sobriety podcast .

I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing .

I am the catholic sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , the catholic sobriety coach dot com . Follow me on instagram at the catholic sobriety coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you .

You are not alone .