Ep 100: How Will You Know When is Bad is Bad Enough?

I'm a wife , mom and a joy-filled Catholic , and I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach , and I am so glad you're here . Oh , my goodness , today is such an exciting day .

So , first of all , I don't know if you know this , but this episode , this one right here that I am recording now , is my 100th episode , and I am so excited about it , and because of that , I have something that I've been working really hard on , and I will give that to you at the end of this podcast . And then I also have an exciting announcement .

So stick with me till the end . It will be worth your time , I promise . So today , for my 100th episode , I decided to pose the question that many , many of us ask ourselves constantly when it comes to drinking or any other disordered attachment , and that is when is bad bad enough ? Now , that's different for everyone , right ?

For some people , bad enough means that they just have a lot of chaos around alcohol . They're finding that they are thinking about alcohol and it's taking up so much of their energy to try to moderate and set boundaries . For some people that can be having a glass of wine every single night . For other people that could be .

They don't drink during the week , but on the weekends they just overindulge and it's really becoming a problem . For others that could mean going through a bottle or even to a night . But you have to ask yourself when is bad bad enough ?

So for me I'm a woman in recovery I have what some people would call a low bottom , because I didn't get any DUIs , I didn't end up in jail . I didn't really lose anything from my drinking . I mean , I lost a lot of peace , I lost some self-respect and dignity and all kinds of things , but I didn't lose like a job , a marriage , kids , anything like that .

But in the rooms of AA I heard of a lot of people saying that they had lost those things and more so . From that perspective , as a recovering alcoholic , I have again what they call a low bottom .

Now many of you are probably thinking I'm not even close to a rock bottom , Like I have a nice house , I have a loving husband , a wonderful family , I have maybe a business or a career , or you're , you know , a homeschooling mom , a volunteer , you know all these types of things and on the outside you look like you've got it all together , but inside there's

so much self-doubt , there's shame and guilt and regret , because you are drinking more and more and maybe you feel like you can't tell anybody . Maybe you're just starting to question like is this normal ? Why can't I drink like everybody else ? Maybe you're feeling out of control and ashamed of your alcohol consumption .

Or maybe you're feeling really isolated and alone but not really sure how to set the boundaries you need so that you can drink less or eliminate it completely and break that cycle . Maybe you're struggling because you kind of feel like a fraud . Maybe you're struggling because you kind of feel like a fraud .

You know that the you that people see on the outside doesn't really reflect what's going on on the inside . And maybe you're constantly beating yourself up and saying why don't I have willpower ? Why can't I figure this out ?

You know , maybe you're really good at a lot of things and I'm sure you are , and you are like I do so many things very well , but this , this , I will never get it and I don't get why . But it still doesn't feel bad enough , or maybe it does Now .

It's funny the other day I was scrolling on Instagram and I came across a reel from a podcast and the person was interviewing a woman named Jen . She goes by Sober Sis and Jen .

From what I know of her , she says that she stopped drinking so that she could break the cycle of the detox to retox loop , meaning she would exercise , she would eat well , she would drink green juices , do all these things try to like detox from the wine and whatever she drank the night before , only to find herself again reaching for alcohol that night .

So she would detox in the morning and retox in the evening , and it just got really tiresome for her . She didn't really have any earth shattering thing that happened . She just realized that she needed to get healthy and that alcohol was the thing that was holding her back .

And what she said is what kept her drinking is that she was drinking and waiting for it to get better or to get bad enough to make the change . And maybe you're sitting there thinking that's exactly what's going on with me .

I'm waiting for it to get bad enough , but I want you to ask yourself what is bad enough to you and then ask yourself do you really want it to get there ? Do you want it to be so painful that you have no choice ? And for some of us that's the big motivator Getting to that point where we have no choice , where we are up against a wall .

But it doesn't have to be like that and that's part of the work that I do . I'm trying to reach you before it gets to that point , gets too bad enough . What good is it if everything looks great on the outside if you are dying inside ? Jesus tells us I have come , that you should have life and have it abundantly .

Does your alcohol use give you more of an abundant life or does it feel like it takes away from your freedom and prevent you from living that promise ? I heard someone say the other day that discipline is a form of self-love and I really believe that , because when we are constantly breaking promises to ourselves , that's not a loving thing to do .

But when we can keep those promises , when we can make those promises and know that we deserve to have this freedom , to have that abundant life , to stop numbing out , then it makes the hard work of discipline that much easier . Now I get this thought of . Is it bad enough ?

I remember and I'm not trying to get political or anything , but I remember back to 2020 , we had COVID . We had that presidential election . We had COVID , we had that presidential election . Now we're in a whole nother one here and now . But I was so tied to the news to doom scrolling and it was just stealing my peace . But I couldn't help myself .

I just kept doing it over and over again and I felt myself getting angrier and angrier . And even my family noticed . They started noticing that I wasn't this happy , upbeat , positive person that I had always been . Instead , I was critical , I was upset , I was confused .

There were just all these emotions and , quite honestly , they really kept me not just from being the loving , caring , joyful presence to my family that I really really try to be , but it kept me from doing the work that God had for me .

And this went on for a long time until it got to the point where I decided it was bad enough and I cut it out of my life and I've been so much happier . That freedom was beautiful , it was uplifting . It just felt like this dark cloud finally just moved away . Now I was afraid of giving that up .

I didn't want to be uninformed , I didn't want to not know what was going on and , crazy as it sounds , I felt like the more I know , the more I could control the situation . And yet I had no control over anything , and that was also abundantly clear . It was a very weird , very weird time .

And now here we are in the midst of another presidential election year and I've got to tell you I have so much more peace . I do get my information , I definitely educate myself on you know all of these things , but the point is I am not doom scrolling , I'm not listening to voices that are negative or repetitive .

I'm not filling my life and my time with things that suffocate the joy , that steal my peace , because it kept me from being who God created me to be . It kept me from an abundant life . Is alcohol doing that to you ? When is bad bad enough ? That's what I want you to reflect on today . But I'm not just going to leave you with that .

I have something for you . Like I said at the top of the show , I have two things . The first thing is my five-day sacred sobriety kickstart is back .

This five-day kickstart will help you embark on what will be a sacred journey toward empowerment and gaining control over your life and freeing yourself from the reliance on alcohol , while also deepening your relationship with God .

Each day , you'll receive a short video with simple tasks that will help you analyze your drinking habits with clarity and you will experience a true transformation based on how you invite the Lord into your journey , allowing His grace to guide and support you all along the way .

You'll approach this journey by observing yourself , your thoughts , your feelings , your action and your outcomes , with compassion , with self-awareness , and you'll be moving forward with God's love and by the end of the five days , you'll have spiritual and practical tools to assist you in navigating social situations and triggers . Listen , this is free . Sign up for it .

I have the link in my show notes . You can sign up for it . You can go to my website . I have a pop-up there where you can sign up for it . Here's the other exciting thing that is coming Early bird registration for my new 30-day alcohol reset for Catholic women will open on October 28th , like women , will open on October 28th .

So anyone who downloads my five day sacred sobriety kickstart between now and October 25th will be entered to receive free entrance into my 30 day alcohol reset . 30-day alcohol reset . It's going to be great because it includes a 30-day challenge , but with it is weekly group coaching .

So group coaching with me and other women who are all along the journey with you , so you get accountability and you get community . This is going to be amazing and the best part is it's happening right before the holidays , so you can set a really good foundation as you go into the holiday season .

So , again , sign up for my free five-day sacred sobriety kickstart . Link is in the show notes and I will talk to you again soon . Thank you so much for listening . Thank you for all of you who have supported me , sent in comments , questions , suggestions , rated or reviewed my podcast . I am so grateful for all of you , God bless .

Well , that does it for this episode of the Catholic Sobriety Podcast . I hope you enjoyed this episode and I would invite you to share it with a friend who might also get value from it as well , and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a thing . I am the Catholic Sobriety Coach . Don't miss a thing .

I am the Catholic sobriety coach , and if you would like to learn how to work with me or learn more about the coaching that I offer , visit my website , thecatholicsobrietycoachcom . Follow me on Instagram at the Catholic sobriety coach . I look forward to speaking to you next time and remember I am here for you . I am praying for you .