Episode 241. Kyle has watched the new TV shows Drops of God and American Born Chinese, while Melissa is decades behind and has just watched all of the Indiana Jones movies for the first time. We discuss sweaty adventure hats, stores that close too early, buying our tickets for specific formats of Oppenheimer, the practical effects of Beetlejuice, the digital effects of Avatar, if the Final Fantasy world has cars in it, and a child giving you a special keepsake only to take it back and tear it in...
Jun 25, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Season 6Ep. 241
Episode 240. Friend of the show Jacq joins us again for a fantasy draft of our ideal dads! All our own original dads remain, and we are drafting new people joining our lives in some sort of paternal role. They don't have to be real, they don't have to be dads, they don't have to be men, they don't have to be human, they just have to project dad-like energy. Which characters played by famously fatherly actors made the list? How many spooky dads show up to party? How much do you remember about mid...
Jun 18, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Season 6Ep. 240
Episode 239. Do you think you could pick up Paddington? Is he heavy? We know he must get heavier when he's wet, but he's dry in this scenario. We also discuss rewatching the Mission Impossible movies, getting out there to see live theater, glow sticks, and "buffoon dramas." We're halfway through the year for our Rotten Tomatoes predictions game, and we take this time to watch some trailers and add new 2023 movies to our list, arbitrarily assigning numbers to everything from franchise prequels to...
Jun 11, 2023•1 hr 33 min•Season 6Ep. 239
Episode 238. Ignacio is on the podcast this week, joining forces with Kyle to quiz a clueless Melissa with predictions about the upcoming Summer Games Fest. We've played this game before, but now we've added a Magic 8 Ball with its own competing blind predictions! Who will be more accurate, Melissa the living human woman, or a piece of plastic from Mattel? We discuss big hats, jetpack sex, and how "X-Box" sounds like an artifact that Indiana Jones would dig up. Click here to watch a video of thi...
Jun 03, 2023•1 hr 4 min•Season 6Ep. 238
Episode 237. We don't know what beverages are and aren't cocktails, all we know is that we aren't cocktails. Kyle drinks in a vault. Melissa worries over a Hot Girl Brunch. We talk wienermobiles, the Good Burger car, pretzel sculptures, the future of the defunct Star Wars hotel at Disney World, and the upcoming reboots for Futurama and King of the Hill. Click here to watch a video of this episode. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★...
May 27, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Season 6Ep. 237
Episode 236. Melissa updates us on Drops of God and commits herself to living large and seeing more summer movies in IMAX. Kyle plays the new Zelda and watches the old Lone Wolf and Cub. We go over some nominees for this year's Eisner Awards for excellence in comics. There's news on Beetlejuice 2, a Friday the 13th prequel series, and some Marvel details from both Disney and Sony. Finally, we react to the trailer for Mission: Impossible -- Dead Reckoning Part 1! It's got a train!! Click here to ...
May 21, 2023•1 hr 21 min•Season 6Ep. 236
Episode 235. We discuss Kyle's dad discovering the "new" "trend" of dad jokes and wonder if you can trace any evolution of pop culture comedy influence across the many years of America's Funniest Home Videos. Beetlejuice 2 ("Beetletwoce") and a new season of Good Omens are on the way. We ask if there any real consequences if you don't watch an acclaimed TV show? Are you the one breaking bad if you never see Breaking Bad? M3GAN makes Melissa question if she grew out of toys too early as a child, ...
May 13, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Season 6Ep. 235
Episode 234. Kyle has the final results of his competition with a Duolingo rival. Melissa is excited by the Big Puppets in the filmed Spirited Away stage play. We spotlight the new Summer Freeze flavor of Mtn Dew and imagine region-specific Dew flavors for our own states. We prepare for the release of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 by making playlists, carefully choosing a restaurant, and dehydrating our bodies. Speaking of dry things, we also watch the trailer for Dune Part Two! Click here to w...
May 06, 2023•1 hr 4 min•Season 6Ep. 234
Episode 233. Primal forces are at work when Melissa goes to a live production of Wicked. Kyle called Saul, and was the better for it. We look at the news coming out of CinemaCon, a convention where movie studios show off their upcoming projects to theater owners, including an R-rated Kraven The Hunter and a Beetlejuice sequel, henceforth known as Beetletwoce. We ask what if subpar movie universes combined their forces, what games we could put in a Whatnauts activity book, and how far Kyle should...
Apr 29, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Season 6Ep. 233
Episode 232. Kyle questions the ranking of a list of top Disneyland rides, and Melissa reveals the shocking source of supposed ghost videos from the Disney parks. We share our excitement over the teaser for the upcoming Venture Bros movie, mysteriously titled Radiant is the Blood of Baboon Heart. We also share our thoughts on Renfield, question what makes a good Reed Richards, and workshop how we can ask "Fast & Furious, but cats?" and make a whole segment out of it. Click here to watch a vi...
Apr 24, 2023•1 hr•Season 6Ep. 232
Episode 231. We're discussing the news out of Star Wars celebration, including the Ashoka trailer, movie announcements, and puzzling hints about The Acolyte. This somehow leads us to a cyperpunk name generator quiz and determining if a fox is more like a dog or a cat. We also have casting news for DC's Creature Commandos, a teaser for the John Wick spinoff series The Continental, and recaps of our weekend at the movies seeing The Super Mario Bros., Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, an...
Apr 15, 2023•1 hr 14 min•Season 6Ep. 231
Episode 230. Kyle finds another false Luigi. Melissa introduces us to Smoke Woman. We both watched the pixel chaos that is Tetris. Our big topic this week: tasting different flavors of the Japanese sweet snack Pocky, and its savory cousin Pretz! We learn about larb, get startled by corn, be true to ourselves with baked potato, branch out with matcha, celebrate the harvest with apple, crush hard on almond, and imagine two brothers named Yogurt and Yoghurt, and their grandfather, Peepsi. Click her...
Apr 08, 2023•1 hr 25 min•Season 6Ep. 230
Episode 229. Kyle laments the missed opportunity of Mecha March and the lie that is Luigi's Pizza. Melissa introduces us to lost movies Big Bug Man and Freaky Flickers, and the defunct as-seen-on-TV Hawaii Chair. We ask if liquid trees missed the point of real trees, what Betty Ross could be doing in the upcoming Captain America: New World Order, if Darkman stole from Clayface, if Clippy would make a good husband, and if you would recognize if your parents were replaced with visual effects. Clic...
Apr 01, 2023•1 hr 16 min•Season 6Ep. 229
Episode 228. Melissa explains the Willem Defoe crime/survival thriller Inside and why it's so helpful for the audience to see him poop in a bathtub. Kyle reveals his secret infinite beach. We remember the late actor Lance Reddick, a gem in everything from Lost to John Wick. We also discuss the upcoming Power Rangers reunion movie Once & Always, the old lemon scent of Shazam: Fury of the Gods, bringing an entire baguette into the cinema to eat slowly over two hours, and how more movies need t...
Mar 25, 2023•1 hr 12 min•Season 6Ep. 228
Episode 227. Melissa attempts to quantify a very specific film sub-genre, the California Drive-Around, and its cousin the New York Walk-Around. Kyle is shocked when a modern-day French crime drama suddenly flashes back to Ancient Rome. We recap the Oscars, look at some superhero movies news, and discuss crows that can solve murders BECAUSE THEY ARE A MURDER, THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL A GROUP OF CROWS, and convincing somebody that a pog is a collectable state quarter. Click here to watch a video of th...
Mar 19, 2023•56 min•Season 6Ep. 227
Episode 226. Kyle is haunted by an extremely loud home appliance. Melissa eats a new kind of Reese's Cup live on air. We imagine new categories for the Oscars, such as Best Title Sequence, Best Adapted Performance, Best Animal, and Best Kiss (MTV Movie Awards have had a monopoly on this for too long!!!). Melissa ranks all the 2023 best picture nominees on a scale from Wet to Dry. Kyle tries learning Korean through Duolingo. We argue whether "Plane" is the best or worst movie title. Click here to...
Mar 11, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Season 6Ep. 226
Episode 225. Did you know that TV detective Perry Mason is based on a real person? He isn't! But doesn't that seem plausible? You could convince somebody of that, right? We also discuss the incredibly detailed Lost Encyclopedia and other informational treasures from DK Publishing, rewatching Yellowjackets, rowdy popcorn boys, and movies we saw in the theaters with our friends when we were teenagers just because there wasn't anything better playing. We also try to describe Cocaine Bear as a scent...
Mar 04, 2023•1 hr 4 min•Season 6Ep. 225
Episode 224. This week: MONSTER TRUCKS! We read the name of every MONSTER TRUCK competing in MONSTER JAM. We also describe Quantumania as if it was a scented candle and discuss educating ourselves in film history, theming our meals to movies, our dream team of the creators of Dark adapting Something is Killing the Children, and Ton E. Cheese's Pizza and Avenging Parlour. Click here to watch a video of this episode. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★...
Feb 25, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Season 6Ep. 224
Episode 223. Melissa reads every cheesecake flavor at the Cheesecake Factory, our most manic restaurant. We discuss international remakes of famous TV shows, localizing Napoleon Dynamite for every weird small town in the world, and the big trailers coming out of the Super Bowl, and we react to the trailer for Tetris, an upcoming Apple TV+ movie about the beloved Gameboy game. Plus, Sad Canada Week and the latest Hanks Banger. Click here to watch a video of this episode. ★ Support this podcast on...
Feb 19, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Season 6Ep. 223
Episode 222. This is our understanding of football: no one is going to catch on fire while they play it. Kyle brings us new comic book adaptations coming to Prime and recaps some DC comics both approachable and impenetrable for new readers. Melissa tries to accurately but vaguely explain Knock at the Cabin and watches all the Scream movies to see people running around big houses. We also imagine a detective buddy movie where the grizzled one is young and the innocent one is old, revolutionizing ...
Feb 11, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Season 6Ep. 222
Episode 221. We've got mega DC news this week! We discuss the slate of newly announced shows and movies for the "Gods and Monsters" chapter of the DCU, featuring political intrigue, dark mystery, imposter syndrome, a Superman and Batman power couple, an insolent young son, and Frankenstein. We also discuss modern egg creams and how we need more Muppets recapping famous movies for us. Click here to watch a video of this episode. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★...
Feb 04, 2023•1 hr 4 min•Season 6Ep. 221
Episode 220. We're brainstorming ideas to "gamify" our other podcast The Review Show, by introducing Who Wants To Be a Millionaire lifelines and Yu-Gi-Oh trap cards. We try to pitch each other on the K-drama Vagabond and the sci-fi thriller Sunshine. Melissa reads through the Oscar nominations, an exciting mix of artsy oddities and familiar blockbusters, honoring the hard work of a penguin, a robot dad, and two of the Eternals. Click here to watch a video of this episode. ★ Support this podcast ...
Jan 30, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Season 6Ep. 220
Episode 219. We're planning out special event Captain's Log episodes for later this year, such as a Pocky taste test and a fantasy draft of our five new dads. Kyle brings us tales of mystery, such as a lost Grubhub delivery and a shocking Formula 1 wife. Melissa attempts to explain Skinamarink and asks what is the least "movie" movie you've ever seen? Click here to watch a video of this episode. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★...
Jan 21, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Season 6Ep. 219
Episode 218. Welcome to 2023 at the Captain's Log, where we try to remember Toad the Wet Sprocket songs and read a long list of Battlebot names. Kyle has gone to the Van Gogh experience and Melissa remembers the last time she lay on the floor in a public building. We review the media we encountered in 2022, with Kyle's statistics on number of butt hours spent watching TV, and Melissa's ranking of her favorite new and old movies she watched last year. Click here to watch a video of this episode. ...
Jan 14, 2023•1 hr 18 min•Season 6Ep. 218
Kyle and Melissa and a surprise appearance by Ignacio are here for our annual year-end celebration! We discuss Avatar: The Way of Water, the antics at the Game Awards, very specific adult coloring books, the trailers for Oppenheimer and Barbie, our favorite podcast episodes this past year, what performed well and what we had the most fun recording, and all the benefits that Fringe brought into our lives. Click here to watch a video of this episode. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★...
Dec 19, 2022•3 hr 12 min
Episode 217. It's our final Captain's Log of the year! We share Log memories and some of our favorite media from the year, what we're watching now, and what we want to finish watching before the year is over. Kyle is dazzled by Arcane, Melissa is emotional over a feature-length YouTube video on the history of the Disney Channel theme tune. We revisit our list of story tropes for our Review Show bingo sheets, adding new ones for the new year, and debating which ones to remove, and if we need sepa...
Dec 17, 2022•1 hr 26 min•Season 5Ep. 217
Episode 216. It's the most tomato time of year! We continue our annual tradition of guessing the Rotten Tomatoes critics scores and making other wild predictions for upcoming movies from December 2022 through November 2023, and reveal the scores for this past year's movies. Just how low was the score for Morbius? Do we think The Super Mario Bros. Movie will do better than Sonic 2? What's the twist in Knock at the Cabin? Will other movies besides Barbie feature the song "Barbie Girl"? What if Opp...
Dec 10, 2022•1 hr 58 min•Season 5Ep. 216
Episode 215. We're back from our Thanksgiving break to recap what we've been watching: the Korean zombie drama Kingdom, the coming-of-age movie about movies The Fabelmans, the riotous mystery Glass Onion, and the classic crime story Goncharov. Kyle also updates us on new social media platforms where you can find The Whatnauts to tell us the anime character names that your parents always get wrong. We review a current holiday-flavored Mtn Dew and preview the flavor for next year, and record a poc...
Dec 05, 2022•1 hr 8 min•Season 5Ep. 215
Episode 214. This week we explore weirdly specific symbols of our states, which starts at Missouri's psychic dog and leads to Oklahoma's official insistence that a watermelon is a vegetable. We also discuss the longest house, million dollar grapes, and the results of Melissa ordering ten random Beanie Babies live on air last week. Finally, now that we've seen Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, we look back on Phase 4 of the MCU. We share our favorite shows, movies, and post-credit scenes, themes th...
Nov 19, 2022•1 hr 19 min•Season 5Ep. 214
Episode 213. We're looking for a soda sommelier in the central timezone! Kyle watched the supernatural K-drama Uncanny Counter, Melissa watched the documentary Beanie Mania about the rise and fall of Beanie Babies, and we ask whether we were "animal kids" growing up. We talk about Formula One and trying to get into sports to have something to fill our time when there isn't an exciting new movie coming out. Click here to watch a video of this episode. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★...
Nov 12, 2022•1 hr 12 min•Season 5Ep. 213
