117. MONDAY MINDSET: Embodiment vs Performance

Let's talk about it. I was having a conversation on Friday with a guy and I was talking to him about one of his competitors who I absolutely cannot stand. And when he asked me why, he's like, how come you don't like him? And I said, because when I look at who you are in business and how you show up, it feels very embodied. I know the person that I see on the website, I is the person that I'm seeing standing here and the person that I met.

The first day in like a, a, a corporate, like a work setting is the guy that I'm seeing right now in front of me, and I'm like,

this other man I can tell is wearing a mask. And this comes down to one person is performing and the other person is embodied. So two people can do exactly the same thing in business, two people can have the same offers, be in the same industry, have the same branding, but something may feel off. And this is where you wanna make sure that there is not a disconnection between the business owner that you are trying to be versus the business owner that you are.

And of course, this is where you get to make decisions where if you're like, well, I wanna be this, this particular business owner. Great. so you can look back to maybe you've done photo shoots before, or maybe you've done something, you've done a particular post, or you've written an email and something feels off. It's like you're trying to put yourself in like a box, or you're trying to emulate something that someone else has done and you're like, this has been successful for them.

Let me try it. I actually am thinking back as I'm talking about this to some branding images that I've done in my business before. And it's interesting that like, they're not bad images, they're really good images, they're with a really good photographer, but there's still something that feels a bit off. And what feels off is because it's not me, because I'm trying to be someone else. And I was not embodied in the person or, or the per, like, how I was showing up. Uh, it was not embodied.

so this is where we can look at embodiment versus performance. And what we wanna make sure, especially if we have a personal brand, if we are front and center of our brand, is that the person that is showing up on the website on socials is actually the person that we are. Because this is where it can feel exhausting if we are trying to show up. Or act a certain way and almost like wear a costume instead of feeling like that, well, hey, just roll some cameras and I will talk.

And the person that shows up on the website is exactly the same person that you are gonna get. If you come round to my house at 10 o'clock at night, is the same person that you are gonna get on a Sunday, on a Tuesday? It doesn't matter what? It doesn't matter when

like you get me. And this is where. You know, we wanna make sure that there is not a disconnect between who we say we are versus who we actually are. Now, I am not saying, you know, like if you are just not having a very good moment in your business that everything that you are doing should reflect that. But this, this is gonna be a bit of a calling up and it is a calling up too. If you read your website and you are like, I'm a fucking batty, I'm incredible. Look at everything that I have done.

You wanna make sure. That we start to embody that. We don't want this to be a costume that we just put on in business hours. We wanna remember that we are this person. And I think that that's where it starts with, it's a remembering that we are already this person. So this is where. We can remember embodiment lives within our bones. It is inside us.

It is cellular, it is in our DNA this is where the sooner that we can embody the entrepreneur that we wanna be, the entrepreneur that is in our branding photos, the entrepreneur that's on our website, us on our best day, we wanna start to like remove the, almost like the, the distance between. Like who we feel that we are versus who we say that we are. And we wanna become, we wanna become that person. Now, you're still gonna have days where you feel a bit like shit.

You're gonna have days where you're like, I don't feel that great. But for the most part, we always wanna kind of be on, we always wanna feel like that we are that person, that we are the, the embodiment of the person that we say that we are online. And here's the thing, if your brand is a mask, it is going to slip. If you are talking about the fact that you are like an incredible badie and that you are like, if you are talking about yourself in this really high way, but you are riddled.

With self-doubt and imposter syndrome. You can see here how you can only wear that mask for such a long time before that slips and you feel burned out and you feel like you can't show up and that you are not

creative because there's only so many times that like we can play a character, and I'm likening this too. Has anyone ever gone out? You are, you are like, let's just lie about who we are and where we're from and let's put on an accent and I'm gonna be called Jessica, and I'm a hairdresser from California, right? I can only be Jessica for so long before Peter slips out because this is who I am.

And this is where you wanna make sure that your brand is not built on a false identity that you cannot maintain. Now don't fall into the trap of me thinking that I'm saying, Hey, let's make your brand a bit more shit because that's who you are on a daily basis. What I am saying is that if you, if you are this person on your website that's saying all of these incredible things, it's like, how the fuck can you remember that? How can you bring that into your day-to-day?

What would that look like for you to embody that person a little bit more? And you can get really clear here if you feel like that. It feels draining to show up online. Have you felt that before? Oh my God, it feels draining, or I don't know what to say. Of course, you're not gonna know what to say if you don't know who the fuck you are because the person that you are trying to be is not actually you. If you have to be like, hold on, let me get into character.

That's a, that's a, that's a flawed system. Okay. You know, I am a true believer. I always think back to this quote that Gary V said, and it's like, I am willing to deal with the ramifications of being my, my authentic self. It was something like that. And the reason that I love this is because he's just so him. It's like the person that you see is the person you are gonna get. The person you see on the website is the person that you are gonna see like all the time.

It doesn't matter if he's on, if he's off, he's him. And this is where, for you, you wanna make sure. That you are not like calling yourself. We are the best in Australia at this. If on a standard Tuesday you are just riddled with self-doubt and you have to journal every night about your imposter syndrome because you can see here that how there's this huge disconnect. You know, you wanna make sure that if you talk about the fact that

you are the best, or whatever you say is that that is something that you actually believe and it's not a mask that you are wearing. So I sometimes wonder if imposter syndrome is not a mindset issue, but it's actually a misalignment issue. Have you thought about that? Because of course, you're gonna feel like an imposter if this is not really who you are or if it's not how you feel.

And I see this where people will do, uh, like branding shoots and they're like, let me hire a. Stylist and the stylist is trying to make them feel like someone that they're not, or I even see this, I would see this a lot with like weddings when I used to do bridal modeling and I would always talk to dress designers and they'd be like, it's so funny that you would get a woman in here. And every time we have her fitting, she got her hair out and it's beautiful.

And then on her wedding day, she wears her hair up and she's trying to be someone different. And then she gets pictures back and she's like, who is that? I don't even recognize that. And it's why I've always thought, I wonder when I get married, I think I'm just gonna do my own hair and makeup because I wanna look. Back at these pictures and I wanna feel like that I'm me. So the thing is, when you are performing, you are continually gonna be second guessing stuff.

You are gonna be watching that back. You're gonna be like, do I sound like that? Do I stand like that? You are gonna be hypercritical because the thing is when you are embodied, you are not performing. You are just being, you are existing. if you are in this state of needing to perform, that is gonna lead to burnout, that is gonna lead to you not showing up. That is gonna lead to you being like, I don't feel like doing my business today.

Yeah, of course you don't because you feel like you need to fucking act. You feel like that you need to show up and be a particular person in order to do your business. But you can see how. If you embodied the person that you were on your website and your brand, you wouldn't need to feel like that. You need to show up because can you see how you would just have to exist and like do your thing and how natural that would feel.

Instead of feeling like that, you need to do like a fucking 20 minute warmup in order to do a story. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You feel me? so what we wanna do here is we wanna do these micro daily

upgrades to embodiment, and we wanna do this micro because you are not gonna do 180, you are not gonna do a 180 and suddenly wake up one day and be like the person that you wanna be. You are not going to become your Pinterest board by just clicking your fingers and waking up. It is starting with these intentional little. Shifts and it, it's not even about like the visuals and the aesthetic. It's about how you hold yourself. It's about the language. It's about the words that you use.

And what I would encourage you to do is go and read your website, because let me tell you with how all of you talk about yourself and what you do. No one should have imposter syndrome. No one should have problems with action. We wouldn't have any problems if we just showed up as the person. Written on our website. So I'm gonna encourage you to go back and read through all of this stuff and look at your branding pictures and remember who the fuck that you could be because you are that person.

So ask what you need to do to make this little micro upgrade. And it could be something as simple as when people ask you, how's your little, how's your business going? You're not like, oh yeah, my, my, we are kind of a bit quiet and I'm this, or I'm a freelancer. You're not a fucking freelancer. You are a business. You are a business owner, so remember how you talk about yourself and remember the words that you use, and it's like if you say, I am the best in Australia at this.

We are the leading whatever. I want you to show up with that energy and what you may find is that the more that you. Become embodied with the brand that you are trying to be. I think in the process of this, you're gonna become more yourself and you are gonna realize, oh, this is really interesting that I wanted to do this because I thought that's who I wanted to be. I don't like that. That doesn't feel like me. And the more that you commit to becoming like this great version of you.

You know, someone that I think does this really well is I've got a few friends, Emma, the broke generation, broke generation, Emma, incredible. Like who you see online

is who you get in person. I love her. I think she's amazing. That bitch is always on brand. She's always on brand, and she's incredible. I feel so lucky that I get to be friends with her, and I think that this is why everyone loves what she does. And why they love her, because she's so embodied like that is, that is who you see. I, I like to think myself the same. It's like what you see is what you get.

So anytime you feel wobbly, you feel a disconnection, you feel like that, you just don't feel like it. I want you to ask yourself, how can I be more embodied when I look at the brand that I am putting out there? How can I become more of that person? What would it look like to make these little micro upgrades or micro shifts on a daily basis so that I don't feel like that there is this big valley of disconnection?

Between the person that I am on an average day versus the person that I say that I am. Okay, what would it look like to become more embodied? So that feels like

it is not a mask that I'm wearing. It's not a costume. It's not something that I'm performing. It is my way of being hot stuff. I love this. I love you. I believe. I believe in you. I believe in you. Okay. We're not singing again. Maybe I'll cut that out. Uh, I love this. I love you. I love you more than my life. Oh, I actually, I lie. I love you just as much as my life. Fuck. I've got a good life. I've got a really good life. I've come into work. It's Sunday.

And I love kind of coming in, doing some content on the weekends to get ahead because I can really kind of be like, I, I don't have anyone else influencing what I'm going to do. The only person that I have is me and my thoughts, and there's not a lot of noise. So I just get to kind of be and formulate what I wanna do and how this, how this looks. And I, this is my second podcast episode that I've recorded today. I've taken my time. It's been really nice.

Uh, I love doing this as well because I wanna say that. So many of the podcast episodes are me kind of formulating my own thoughts on things and I get to like formulate my own like body of work. And in teaching you stuff, it's like my message becomes clearer. And in doing that, I feel like I just have become so much more articulate. In what I'm saying. So I love you more than the process of just having a podcast.

It looks like it has been raining on and off, but I feel you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do a little spot of shopping and I feel like buying myself something sweet, something sweet and something fun. I love you more than that. I love you a lot more than my lipstick right now. As you know, I love some, I love some lippy and my fucking lipstick. Look at this. It just melted. I didn't even know how that was so possible.

It looks terrible, but I hate to kind of prematurely chuck things, so we're just going to use it until that doesn't exist anymore. I would say that I go through like two of these a month. I just love it. This is, it is my, this is my old faithful Revlon super lustrous shine in oh oh three. Glossed up Rose. It's kind of like. It's like a lipstick, gloss slash stain, and I just love it. It's not too perfect. Something about me. I don't like anything that's like too, too, too perfect.

I love like an element of just like a tiny bit of like mess I love you more than discovering new, cool and incredible people. I had my friend Lily's birthday last night, and I only knew Lily and my friend Emma that I was going with, and everyone else was new to me. And I remember I used to get in this like feeling, especially when I was living in Maitland, where I just felt like that.

Life just felt funny and I think it felt funny because I'm just like, I feel like I'm not around people that get me like they were good people, but there was just something, there was like something missing. And I don't know if you've ever felt that that before where you go out in a group of people and you're like, I don't know if we get each other. Like there just feels like a disconnection. Like I'm curious about these people. I'm having a good time, but there's just something a bit funny.

Anyway. I remember like when I would meet a cool person that I really clicked with and then I would meet their friends. So they would introduce me to someone and I would be like, oh my God, I love this. Like I love that there is just, we have out there like a whole world of people to meet of like cool and incredible people. God, I'm so even talking about this. I'm like, I can tell I'm such an extrovert where it's. Give me more people to meet.

And we were at a birthday last night and I was like sitting at a table with all of these incredible funny women. I had a great evening. This social cup is full. I had a good Friday. I had a good Saturday. I've had a fantastic, I've had a fantastic weekend. I hope you've had a great weekend or a great week or a great day whenever you are listening to this. I hope that it has been fantastic and I hope. That the week that is unfolding for you is even better.

It takes all of the good, hot, sexy, fun, abundant elements. All of the good shit, right? Guess what we're gonna do? We're gonna times that by 10, and I hope that that is what is coming up for you. Hot stuff. I love this. I love you. Have a sexy week. Don't forget who the fuck you are. Read your website. Remember that. And if you feel like it's not you, remember it's not about changing the copy and downplaying that, that is your potential. Become that, make that micro little shift.

Ask yourself, what would it look like to be 1% more embodied today? Hot stuff. I love you.