What do you do when someone has what you want? What do you do when it feels like that? Everyone that is circling you has the things that you want. You feel like that you have been doing the most, getting the least, and not only that, you are feeling a little bit jealous and a bit pissed off. Let's talk about it. This has been something that I have had to deal with. A lot on and off through my entrepreneurial timeline.
You know, I think this started out when you model and you see the friend get the campaign that you wish that you could get. You look at stuff, you look at jobs, you look at opportunities, and you are like, why is this not happening for me? And it hurts. It doesn't feel good. This actually formed a basis of a keynote that I, that I did like, oh my gosh, a couple months ago, it was called Mirror Moments, and it talked about how, I would say for the first.
10 years of my entrepreneurial life, I would be so jealous. And how when I saw someone get something that I really wanted or I feel like that I was working towards, it almost felt like it bruised me or it wounded me in such a way.
Where it, it took me so long to recover from that and how I was so activated by seeing other people win and their success and how it almost, I made things so personal to me, you know, it's an unfortunate part of business and life that you are continually going to see people that have things that you want and you are going to continually see people that it feels like that it has come easier to them. And you look at the work that you are doing and you're like, why is this not paying off for me?
I wanna say a couple things to this. One, in life and in business, there is an element of luck. There is an element of right place, right time. That is the thing. There is also the unseen work and the amount of times that I have known people that will kind of be a bit aloof. But behind the scenes it is a very different story. They are having conversations, they are being a bit of a ball breaker.
They are doing the work that I would never wanna fucking do, but they aren't really like, you know, letting on the fact that they have done a lot of fucking hustle to get the results that they want. So there's also that. And there is also the fact that sometimes the desire of us wanting something may be more appealing than us getting the thing. And I know this to be true for myself. Not in business, but a good example of this is relationships and dating.
The amount of times that I'm like, I want a boyfriend, I wanna meet someone, and then I meet someone and I'm like, holy shit, this is really terrifying. I'm gonna go and run over that way. Like I am the avoidant. And it's interesting that sometimes because so much of our story and our identity gets wrapped up in wanting the thing and continually pursuing the thing, it's so interesting that sometimes when we see that we could do this one little move.
Where, you know, the thing that we want would actually happen. It's so interesting that we don't do it. We don't write back to the email in time. We don't go and like pitch or whatever it is because it actually threatens the identity that we have and the story that we tell ourselves. Right? You know, people talk about this all the time and I used to think that this was so bullshit where you would be so afraid of success and I thought that this was really crap.
Until, you know, I have just restructured my business. I have finally become a company. It's well overdue and it's so interesting that I felt myself, as a sole trader putting like a cap on what I was doing and not wanting to kind of do more because I was like, well, I'm gonna pay more tax, so I'm gonna kind of like hold myself back.
But then I was being annoyed at people who were growing, but forgetting that I was not wanting to grow too much because I didn't wanna have the result of paying more tax. It was the same with being a company. I was like, I am a bit terrified of growing more because you know, now I feel like that I have all of these responsibilities and everyone's kind of freaking me out more. And what if I pay more tax? And what about this? And then what about that?
And it's so interesting that, you know, we can be really stuck in the desire of wanting something, but we can also look at. Like kind of who we are and how we're showing up. And notice that although we want something, what's actually playing out is a completely different story. So in the sake of me wanting a huge business, but then in the next sentence being like, yeah, but I don't wanna make more money. I don't wanna make more sales.
I'm conscious of people paying me too much because I don't wanna pay more tax. Isn't that really, really interesting? So what I would ask for you to do is, you know, if you look at all of the things that people have that you want. Ask yourself, is there an element where if this was presented to you, like let's just go like for and against things for a second. So let's pretend that you want a book deal. You see everyone is around you and they're getting a book deal.
What are the pros and what are the cons? And what I think you're gonna find really interesting about this is. A lot of the cons where you may think that there are none, could be these little thoughts that you actually think all of the time, but you are not conscious of them. So it could be something where you're like, well, a con of having a book is what if it doesn't fucking sell? And I feel like an idiot. People are then like, wow, what an imposter.
It's like you may want a book, but there is also this little belief that we're kind of like carrying around in our backpack of bullshit, of you being like, but what if I'm actually not good enough? Like what if I want this? But I start the process and I feel like that I only get 10,000 words in, and then the ideas just stop. And why this is. Awesome. When stuff like this happens is we then get to question all of this and we get to ask ourselves, where did this come from?
And we get to rewrite it and let go. A lot of this stuff and why I love this. And why this is so good. And if you are someone that feels like that the breaks of your success are continually like slammed on and it's like everyone is just moving ahead and you're like, why the fuck is this harder for me? I do believe like, like I wholeheartedly believe that sometimes stuff is gonna move slower for you because you are meant to do more of the work now.
And then the success will just come and it's gonna last and you are doing the work for your future self. Right. So it's like for me now, knowing that I'm going through all of this and I have these beliefs that come up, I know that when we are at a million dollars a year, I'm not gonna have this thought of, well let's just not earn more because I don't wanna pay more tax.
It's like, let me focus on this now and, and perfect this now before we grow, because I don't want this to be a bottleneck for my future growth. I wanna go through. All of the things that I am now, so that when I get to this future version of myself, my, the future version of Peter, you know, it's like I can reflect back to this point in time where I've had to deal with all of that, right?
So this is something awesome that happens when you do feel like that everyone around you is getting what you want and it's somehow not working for you. We can reframe this as, okay, cool. I get to deal with all of this. Now I get to move through this. Now I get to manage my mindset now so that in future, if this comes up again and it will, that I am now a master at this. Like I am gonna be really, really cool with this.
Another thing that I wanna say is that, you know, this is a concept that I learned from Lacey Phillips and she talks about something called expanders and expanders. Show your subconscious what is possible you know when you're ever feeling jealous or activated by what people are doing, you can ask yourself, why am I feeling jealous? Why am I feeling activated? What do they have that I want? Or what are they doing? Or how are they moving in a way that is making me feel.
Uncomfortable or something that is just a bit negative. Right. You know, I have seen people before and I'm like, oh my God. They're just like going and they're being really bold and I feel myself kind of like feel. Funny because they've gotten opportunities. You know, I had a business friend and she booked a workshop and I've been trying to get this like workshop locked in. And when I saw that, you know, she had one locked in.
She hasn't been with the company as long, like I felt really happy for her. I'm like, good work. Like good for you. But I felt in the same time, sad for me. I was happy for her and I was sad for me. And this was something interesting to, to deal with. What I did is I, I firstly acknowledged how I felt.
I was like, I get why you feel sad, because you've been bringing this up a lot, and what we wanna make sure that we do here is that we don't tell them a really empowering story of why we're better and kind of minimizing ourselves in the process. Like let's just run a couple of different scenarios of, of why this could happen and then I got to get really clear on, okay, cool. If you are feeling activated by this, is it because it is something that is important to you? And the answer was yes.
This is something I wanna do. I wanna speak, I wanna be known for this. I wanna be the first fucking choice. When people think workshops, I want them to think Peter. I was like, okay, cool. The fact that you were not asked means that there must be some kind of, you know, little visibility floor. Maybe because you haven't spoken to them in a while. You have just dropped off their radar. Let's get back on.
And what I did instead of staying in this spiral is I asked myself what would be one bold move that I should take to go and get what I wanted? And I sent an email and I pitched. And guess what? I didn't hear back. I heard nothing back. it's interesting that, you know, I was reflecting this weekend. I pitched something, I was like, sell with email. And I felt myself, I was actually doing my makeup this morning and I was like, why the fuck am I pitching email?
Like, I like email, but I wanna do something else. And you know, I ran a workshop. It is up on the podcast, I think it's episode 1 0 8, which, was Work Smart Make Bank, and it's about putting your intellectual property into scalable. Offers. So creating scalable, passive offers. And I thought about how no one in my coworking space is doing that and how I feel really good about this because I love courses. They've changed my life.
I love programs and how there are so many people in there that could probably learn how to productize what they're doing a bit better. They're great at services, but they maybe this is a world that they don't know about. And I actually felt really excited about that. And I'm like, okay, cool. How fun is this? You know, you've put something in motion and now we just get to clean it up a bit.
And now I get to do is I get to email them and say, Hey, I know I actually pitched email, but I think that this would be a great workshop. And then I get to do something bold and I get to end it by saying, great, I wanna lock this in. What's it gonna take? Wink face? And I think sometimes, you know, we wanna make sure that. If we are feeling activated by what we see, and then this is then a kick up the butt to us.
We wanna make sure that if we are then going and getting something, it is not with this like desperation energy. It's not like, well, no one likes me and no one is choosing me and look at me. I'm doing the thing. It's about, I think recognizing that you are fucking amazing. Right? And it's not kind of doing this as like a pity, like, oh, no one chooses me for this I know for me that reframing jealousy, reframing envy as data.
Of me now recognizing something that I want or recognizing equality or being, I don't even wanna say inspired, because sometimes I'm not inspired. Like sometimes I'm fucking pissed off because I know that I'm exceptional and I'm like, why the fuck was that not me? And you know, sometimes it's like that. It's just like that. It's, it's unfortunate, but what you can do is recognize that so much is within your control, and if you want something, you can go and get it.
If you see that someone is doing something or moving in a certain way or has a level of success. What I'm gonna ask you is when you look at your business plan and how you're showing up in a month, where is that reflected? Or is this just gonna stay in a little thought that you have in your head this is where, you know, entrepreneurship is really around crafting your own destiny and it's like, how can you go and, and add that in? How can you go and fucking amaze yourself and go and get it?
So what I'm gonna tell you is that when you see people activate you, when you feel jealous, when the thoughts are coming up, I want you to just be like, thank you sky Daddy, thank you universe. Thank you for showing me this and myself. Thank you for showing me that you want this through some emotions that feel not so great. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna recognize why am I activated by this? What do I want in this? And I'm going to then be like, okay, cool. This is how it looks on them.
How could this look on me if they have a book deal or if they have this, well, what do I want? Do I want that? Or do I want something better? Do I want this to be more me shaped. I get to get really clear and and curious on how that looks, and then I get to go and put that in action. So here's the thing, hot stuff, you know, you wanna make sure that this just doesn't stay within. You feeling inspired and feeling a little like, I feel really good. Peter's, pep me up, you know?
I would hate to think that you just feel inspired. You do nothing with it. What I want you to do is I want you to go and fucking do something with this. So if you feel like a jealous bitch, congratulations because you have just discovered something about yourself. What I want you to go and do is go and put that in motion. Go and fucking get it. I am proud of you. Everything is happening. Let's like alchemize, jealousy, alchemize these feelings. Turn it into something fun.
It's like, how fun is it that it's like anytime I'm a jealous bitch that's gonna turn into cash. Oh yes it is. Yes it is. Hot stuff. I love this. I love you. I'm feeling good. We are doing the little hotel series of the Business Fond podcast. I've got my little staycation. I love me some hospo staff. And I had a wonderful conversation with the woman in the restaurant downstairs. There was a little bit of a hiccup with my room.
She told me that I can basically have whatever the fuck I wanted on the menu. And I was like, I absolutely love that. So I love you more than that. I love you more than, um, oh my God. I watch Saltburn. Have you seen Saltburn? What an interesting movie.
Uh, it's really funny that a lot of people were talking about it, like it was really like out there and I don't know if this is maybe like show showcasing that maybe I'm a bit mentally fucked up, but I watched it and I was like, this wasn't as bad as I thought that everyone was making out. Like, yes, there was some insane things in there. Which I don't wanna spoil it, but, um, I loved it. I thought it was a great movie. I'd watch it again, happily watch it again. So I love you more than that.
I'm having a moment for Twirls and I have to thank my friend Emma from the broke generation. I didn't really, I didn't really appreciate or understand twirls until, Emma bought in all these snacks, and this is going back maybe to like 20, 23. Shit, it could even be 2022. And she bought in these snacks and she had these twelves and I was like, oh my God, this is delicious. And every time I think of Twirls, I think of her. They did have this coffee twirl, maybe it was like a cafe latte wine.
I can't remember the flavor. And she's like, this is really good. Try it. And I tried it and they've actually bought in like it's called The Big Twirl or something. Yeah. And it's like a twirl, but it's like thicker and it's longer and it's fucking delicious. I don't know what it is. I don't know what they put in it. Probably like su obviously sugar. But um, oh my God, I love it. And I went and bought one. It's, it's exceptional. It's like a dollar 30 on sale also. Chocolate is so expensive now.
Do you remember that? You like Mars bars and stuff used to be on sale and they'd be like 50 cents and now they're on sale and it's like a dollar 50 and you're like, hold on. How did we get here? I want my 50 cent Mars bars. Can we go back to the early two thousands? I, I miss that. I miss that era. I miss that pricing and I miss that fashion. Speaking of fashion, I'm also watching the Simple Life. I love that.
I love some like reality, crappy, like just, it doesn't really take like a whole lot of brain power to consume. Obsessed with that. Uh, so hot stuff. Let's leave it here. I love this. I love you. Go get your cash, you go be activated by people. You go be jealous. Your business will benefit, and I'll see you on the next episode.
If you're craving more, make sure to subscribe to my email list, which you can find at professionalbabe.com. And word on the street I give good email. Now go and take everything you've learned, get your hands dirty with it, and go and make some serious money.