The Bruised Banana: an Arsenal podcast - podcast cover

The Bruised Banana: an Arsenal podcast

The Bruised Bananawww.tbbpod.com
An Arsenal podcast. Three legacy fans from Walthamstow, Wood Green and Plumstead discuss the latest events at the club, with added nostalgia. #AFC #KroenkeOut

Episodes

102: Sandwich rodeo

January? More like Banuary if you ask us. It's been such a poor month for Arsenal FC that the entire thing should be struck from the calendar forever more. Just start with February from now on. We talk about the games that happened and the various ignominious exits from cup competitions and it's all so grim Alex didn't even show up. Enjoy it. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you get y...

Jan 23, 20221 hr 19 min

101: From eden to hell

Well, at least we didn’t get tonked. The almost ludicrously eventful New Year’s Day game against Man City is our sole topic of conversation this week. We applaud the performance, dissect the decision making, and consider what could’ve been as Albert ‘Lord’ Stuivenberg and nameless handsome man so very nearly steer us to victory over the runaway league leaders. Oh, and Stuart Attwell gets a mention or two. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to ra...

Jan 03, 20221 hr 27 min

100: 100th episode special

We made it. Unlike Prince Philip and the England cricket team, we’ve actually gone and reached a century. 100 episodes of highs, lows, anthems, crests, sacks, superleagues and sighing. What a ride. To celebrate this milestone, we invited fellow Gooner and full-time pod guru Adam Richardson over to host a bumper end of year Arsenal quiz for the ages (yes, there are anagrams). So, pick up a pen and play along. Let’s separate the protagonists from the Primoracs and see out 2021 in style. Thanks so ...

Dec 29, 20212 hr 37 min

99: Blue balls

The Process. We’ve all trusted it. Wholly, and from minute one. Taken it right into our hearts, minds, bodies, and even souls (if they exist). Thomas Aquinas (1225 to 1274) understood the soul to be the first actuality of the living body. Thomas Partey (1993 onwards) was unavailable for comment. And so, with our club captain banished from first team duties with a nasty case of the non-negotiables, Arteta’s Arsenal have arrived in that most coveted of all the league placings: fourth. Just in time...

Dec 19, 20211 hr 14 min

98: Doom and gloom shed

Yet another Merseyside mauling is the main matter for discussion this week, as we morosely examine the 4-0 loss to Liverpool. Elsewhere, Tom talks us through the giddy glitz and glamour (Boro Primorac, anyone?) of the Arsène Wenger film premiere, while Dan’s ever-bulging sack rounds out another episode. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the s...

Nov 21, 20211 hr 14 min

97: Old man smarts

Ten games unbeaten and everything in the AFC garden is rosy, even when those bastard hornets fly round and try to sting everything in sight and then get their own crusty, old rose man to try and deadhead all our wonderful daffodils and dandelions and chrysanthemumunums. Anyway, we beat Watford 1 nil. We talk about that, the impact of Lacazette, Tomiyasu’s tenacity, and dream January and summer signings. It’s a really nice time. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Ple...

Nov 08, 20211 hr 17 min

96: Creepy gloves

Lads, it’s Tottenham. It’s the history of the Tottenham. Ad infinitum. From bottom of the league to above the August champions in just three games. Maybe that Amazon documentary will be worth watching after all. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and makes it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!...

Sep 28, 20211 hr 14 min

95: The Lennon triumvirate

We mull over what we liked (and disliked) about the 1 nil win at Burnley, including Aaron Ramsdale’s commanding presence (liked), Takehiro Tomiyasu’s terrific teeth (really liked), and big Sean Dyche’s big round head (strongly disliked and denounced). We also chat about Wimbledon, spreadsheets, Spurs and the oddly enduring appeal of listening to football on the radio. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Go...

Sep 20, 20211 hr 8 min

94: A Nordic delicacy

It’s the no goals, no points, no hope extravaganza! Three games into the new season and rooted to the bottom of the table, we try to make sense of what’s gone so spectacularly wrong before promptly giving up and laying the blame squarely at the feet of messrs Xhaka and Arteta because why not, it makes sense, and it’s our podcast and we can do whatever we bloody well please, alright? New player anagrams and listener correspondence also feature. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananap...

Aug 30, 20211 hr 21 min

93: 2021/22 season preview

It’s the return of the Premier League. The top flight. The promised land. And Arsenal are back. Back once again with the renegade Xhaka, 3-4 damager, with the ill behaviour. Oh goody. Elsewhere, no Europe means no previews, or crest-sessments. Sad. Still, fewer games is nice. Oh, and we bought some new lads, so you better believe we’ve assigned them anagrams. So, join us for more hope, despair, and downright dodgy predictions for the year ahead. Cheers very much. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod E...

Aug 09, 20211 hr 3 min

92: 2020/21 season review

Looks like we made it. Look how far we've come, my Pépé. We mighta took the long way. We knew we'd get 8th someday. They said, "I bet they'll never make it", but just look at us Holding on. We're still together, still playing on. Right, enough of that. Rejoice! The 2020/21 season is over! And what better way to celebrate that fact than to immediately go back and scrutinise the whole damn thing, month by turgid month. After that, it’s the annual Bruised Banana awards, before a final digital sack ...

May 24, 20212 hr 24 min

91: The idiot part

We discuss the impact that the sudden rise and fall of the Super League has had on us as fans, mulling over what lies next for both the club and ourselves as supporters. Then it’s onwards to matters far more frivolous, with a good old-fashioned deep dive into our Europa League semi-final opponents, Villarreal. Here’s hoping for a good ebening... Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you ge...

Apr 28, 20211 hr 11 min

90: Nu rave

We wanted to spend an hour talking about Maty Ryan’s pre-assist. Unfortunately, we were duty bound to talk about everything else that came before it as well. We discuss the disappointing 1-1 draw with Fulham, our minds still firmly set on the wonderful slaughtering of Slavia Prague. A mega session of ‘bin or keep’ rounds things out for another week (spoiler alert: we keep Maty Ryan). Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Ap...

Apr 18, 20211 hr 9 min

89: Infected with nonsense

An insipid home defeat to Liverpool dominates the discourse this week, coming as it does after international break musings and a reflection on 20 years without David Rocastle. The Europa preview takes a backseat and the customary mailbag wraps things up for another episode. Episode 89. Feels somewhat fitting. RIP Rocky. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you get your pods. It means a gr...

Apr 04, 20211 hr 10 min

88: Real steel

You’d think after a manic 3-3 draw away to West Ham that we’d have nothing but laser-sharp focus for the incident-packed, riveting game itself. You’d be quite wrong. This week’s tangents include captains from the 1910s and obscure Hampshire market town flags. Unlike Arsenal, we’re nothing if not consistent. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to t...

Mar 22, 20211 hr 15 min

87: Floating on a cloud

#087: Floating on a cloud Good old Arsenal, we're proud to say that name. While we sing this song, we'll win the game, and in doing so we’ll banish all negative memories of ‘them’ against us. We’ll sleep soundly and peacefully. We’ll walk tall. We won’t have to grin and bear it, we’ll just grin, randomly and often, knowing that – for now at least – all is well and good in the north London footballing landscape. Because it is. Have a great week. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbanana...

Mar 15, 20212 hr 35 min

86: The main culprits

Exasperation FC does it again. We ‘assess’ the inexplicable 1-1 draw with Burnley without trying to completely lose our minds. We last about 30 seconds. After the madness at Turf Moor, we head to the mailbag for more questions on the Burnley balls up, song lyrics, and Peter Walton’s voice. It never rains but it pours. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you get your pods. It means a grea...

Mar 07, 202157 min

85: Oodles and oodles

A 1-0 loss to Manchester City leaves us staring at 11 defeats for the season, and our 8th in a row against the runaway league leaders. We discuss the team selection, slow start, and whether the scoreline looks better on paper than in reality. We then give the 1-1 draw with Benfica the once over before ending with the customary mailbag and return of Tweet of the Week. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Goo...

Feb 22, 20211 hr 5 min

84: Little bit shook

A 4-2 win over Leeds gets the pulses racing and the nerves jangling. We discuss the ups and downs of the game, and herald the return of our hat-trick-scoring talisman. Then it’s onwards to Benfica as we deep dive into the history of the Portuguese powerhouse ahead of our Europa League double header. The mailbag draws us to a close with some Valentine’s Day love stories (rated PG). Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple...

Feb 15, 20211 hr 20 min

83: Wafer thin connection

It’s just that sweet Midlands misery, that makes me cry, cry, cry, cry. Successive defeats away at Wolves and Aston Villa leave us wishing we were lucky. Alas, VAR is all around us, and so the ill-feeling grows. We discuss the joy vacuum that is VAR, the jobsworth ref apologist that is Peter Walton, and – of course – the lacklustre, weathered footballing entity that is Arsenal FC. Join us. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us...

Feb 07, 20211 hr 19 min

82: Brown envelope

A stalemate at home to Man Utd keeps us ticking along in the league. We discuss the nervy 0-0, honing in on the much-improved-yet-still-lacking Nicolas Pépé. There’s also time to hail our excellent midweek win at St Mary’s and welcome loan signing Martin Ødegaard with anagrams and pronunciations galore, before Dan’s digital sack brings us to a close. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever y...

Jan 31, 20211 hr 28 min

81: Stolen valour

We’re out of the cup but no matter because we’ve signed Sir Mathew of Ryan from the mighty Brighton & Hove Albion in the loan of the century except it really does matter because we love that bloody competition and it’s ours and now we no longer get to participate in our own competition which quite frankly isn’t on at all. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you get your pods. It means a ...

Jan 24, 20211 hr 14 min

80: The lord is my shepherd

Three wins from three, eight goals scored, one against. Wow. We discuss the recent unexpected upturn in fortunes and once again pay tribute to our diamond lights, Kieran and Bukayo. Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but those lads are so delightful. And since we’ve no place to go, let’s score goals, let’s score goals, let’s score goals. Happy New Year! Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wher...

Jan 03, 20212 hr 34 min

79: Screwball scramble

“Ohhh Granit Xhaka! You might’ve scored a worldy but you’re still a c…” But you’re not, Bukayo. Nor you, Emile. And definitely not you, Gabriel. You represent hope, and joy, and all things fresh, sparkly and great. Recent pain and misery is pushed firmly to one side as we fully embrace the win over Chelsea. The succulent 3 goals, points, and wunderkinds. Good old Arsenal. Now just stay good. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review ...

Dec 27, 20201 hr 16 min

78: We've dug up grandad

We discuss yet another loss. Tom goes to the tip. Alex rants about Walcott. Dan reads the listener comments. Christmas is cancelled. Now it's time to cancel Mikel Arteta and his awful Arsenal team. We've been there and back again. The state that we are in. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and makes it easier for other potential list...

Dec 20, 20201 hr 26 min

77: Raggy dolls

Four episodes ago we wrote a silly Des’Ree gag for this bit which culminated in ‘...this style of football really is unsustainable and cannot be allowed to continue any further’. Well, continue it has. After the car wreck that was the 1 nil home defeat to Burnley, we wonder if Arteta’s reign may be coming to an end. Where did it all go so desperately, horribly wrong? Would even Roy Hodgson be a better bet at this stage, perhaps with Des’Ree as assistant gaffer? The answer is of course a resoundi...

Dec 14, 20201 hr 11 min

76: Fools gold and cubic zirconia

Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry? The Evil Man has beaten the Culture Club. Again. We ponder over what this means for ‘Project Non-Negotiables’ as we come to terms with yet another toothless league display. Oi Arsenal, go and brush your teeth. Except you don’t have any. Sigh. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to t...

Dec 07, 20201 hr 8 min

75: Disengage and disassociate

Stop the football, we want to get off. Yet another lacklustre Premier League display leaves Dan and Tom questioning why we even bother, as Arsenal succumb to a 2-1 defeat at home to Wolves. We pay tribute to the passing of a genuine football legend, and wonder when exactly our sport will get wise to the dangers of head injuries. With Alex away for the week we, very briefly, touch on the win against Molde before seeking crumbs of comfort in your beautiful correspondence. Right now, it's all we've...

Nov 30, 20201 hr 4 min

74: Relax and back off

Remember goals? A host of opportunities? A string of chances to bulge the net? Seeing said net bulge, presumably after someone’s rifled one home, or maybe finished with aplomb? Goals are nice. Maybe we’ll do one again someday. So, yeah. Leeds. And then Molde. And then mailbag. Good episode, this. Long. Filled to the brim with words, like any self-respecting podcast should be. Enjoy. We’ll score again soon. Promise. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the ...

Nov 23, 20201 hr 26 min

73: Grand designs

You gotta be good, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser. You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger. You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta generally just play better. All I know, all I know, this style of football really is unsustainable and cannot be allowed to continue any further. Twitter and Instagram: @tbbpod Email: bruisedbananapod@gmail.com Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal...

Nov 09, 20201 hr 7 min