#73: D*ck Pics & the Elvis Duran Chicks

your profits, which we love. Yes. Plus, there's no account minimum deposit needed to get started, so you can start investing at any level. The simple, intuitive design of robin Hood makes investing easy for newcomers and experts alike. View easy to understand charts and market data, and place a trade in just four taps on your smartphone. Um You could also view stock collections such as one most popular.

With robin Hood, you can learn how to invest in the market as you build your portfolio, discover news stocks, track your favorite companies, and get custom notifications for price movements so you never missed the right moment to invest now. Robin Hood is giving listeners of our brook Boys podcast a free stock like Apple, Ford Sprint to help you build your portfolio. If you want that free stock, you gotta sign up at Brooklyn dot robin hood dot com. Brodie,

what's that website again? That's Brooklyn dot robin Hood dot com. Start dot up, not up, Brooklyn Boy, start up, Brooklyn buys dot data. They're making noise. Data up episode. This is the Brooklyn Boys podcast. On Valentine's Day, We're I'm wearing red because I'm that guy today, and I'm wearing blue because I'm not that guy. Because you're feeling blue now because I don't. I don't own red or is it someone you just blue? You don't have any red

in your closet? No, why Brody? Not one? Ri tasty and I have freckles and I looked terrible and red. I gotta say that I I don't have any green in my So when it comes time for St. Patrick's Day, I'm fucked the I chat. I'm a Jets fan, so I just wear a Jet shirt or Jets jerseys football Jets, not hockey Jets. Right. Oh, Gandhi's in here. Gandy walked in. What are you trying to be quiet for? Well, you're not. We don't pay you. So do we talk? Start up? Startup?

We're making noise. We're talking about were the broken boys. We make a noise, so make noise with us once you talk about we just opened up the show just now. About why Brodie's not wearing red? Yeah, because it's Valentine's Day. I did eat chocolate though, so I feel like I'm good, okay here in okay. Um. What do you think about couples that dress up at night on in red or pink at Valentine's dinner? Because I see a lot of that. When I see couples that are dressed the same in general,

I hate them. I just really hate it. Disney World. I've never been, so you know they all wear the same T shirt. You don't do that. I don't do that. I don't do like, oh, it's the Robinson family trip to Disney World. It's you know, it's cute on other people. I just wouldn't do it, but you wouldn't. Watching couples at Valentine's Day? Why not they out to dinner? They're in love, they're not married. I'll tell you that much

that that ship wears off. Can I ask, as a married couple, are you guys into sending nudes or do you never do that? Dude? They send clothes First, First of all, if I want to stay married, I'm not sending a nude of this. Get out of here. She already knows if she's working with a Second of all, my wife and I am married longer than sexting, so we've we don't sext. So you've out sexted sexting, presext you presexted. Yeah, we used to send like a beeper pages.

Oh it's true, like back in the day of so back if you had a pager, did you guys used to feel her nipples with morse code? Like, okay, it's brail you idiots. Sorry, you are dumb as a ship with morse code is like a walkie talkie thing. Hey Stevie, wonder you're blind me and I'll send help. You know what I meant? You know sign language when you hold up a sign and hope they say it love and I'm already filled filled with hate. I'm love with you.

It's okay, don't apologize. BacT. When they were beepers and you couldn't send a text message, you would send like my wife and I would send four or five eight to each other, which on the letters of the phone was I LU, which was I love you, so I would send four or five eight and she'd send back four or five eight to and I love you too. Now, Ganda, did you did you know about this in the world,

because I had. I used to spill out boobies b O O B I E s. You used to turn it's nine zero zero, but you have to turn your your page upside down. It's it's the block numbering. You could also spell shell oil shell. Yes. No, I'm like, hey, honey, shell oil. You know what I'm saying. That pump that gas. But you just have to Yeah. I used to have numbers also that represented certain things that you want to

do you on Robin send dudes. No, we don't. I don't put my nudes out there because plus I'm afraid. I'm very afraid leave your face that. You can always deny it, can't. You have like very identifiable marks theory. I do have a birthmark. Oh where is it? Do you want me to show you? I don't think I want to see that. I mean it, I mean, let's have a question about birthmarks with Gandhi. But you go first. It's in the sensitive spot. But so so someone would

be able to be like, yeah, that forehead. What is the sensor spot? Well, you're the insensitive spot on me, right. I have a question. So a birthmark on on a on a pasty white guy like me or scary like I have a brown like a little like a puzzle piece on my on my knee. Yes, but you are brown, I am. So would a birthmark be darker or would it be a white spot? It depends on the breath pigment. It's not a lack of pigment. Typically, sometimes it just

depends on the brown person. So some people have like, well the court addresses you. Okay, okay, my birthmark. See this little thing right on the side of my mouth, a little scar. That's what color my birthmarks? This is a are on my face. That's no thanks. Everyone thinks it's something different. It's a chicken pox scar. I go with it. It is certainly cooties nice. Yes, so you don't have a puzzle piece like Prodie? Where's your puzzle piece? Yeah? I still can't figure him out. Look at him. There

isn't it. I remember showing me that when we first met you. Nice legs, You're that's my only redeeming feature. Oh and my eyes. I'm trying to think what else I have on me? That's like, I guess I have like a bruise on an a scar, a permanent scar. It's on the right knees. Okay, oh, look, that's the only part of my body that can dance. By the way, that was your nickname in high school, wasn't it. It was so Yeah, So we don't send dudes, but you do. I noticed I have a fan of it. Yes, yeah,

Ghani sends the nudes. But that begs the question, scary you've never sent the nude because I know your girlfriend has got How do you know? You're shut up? Okay, I'll tell you how I know your girlfriend has sent nudes. Number one, I know you would appreciate them and your girlfriends. Your girlfriend is a very accommodating girlfriend, and she's smoking hot, And I feel like, I feel like, if you look

like your girlfriend, you would send a nude pictures. Are you saying if I had the reciprocal I would send it and go no need to send one back? Scary that I would send like I don't return receipt. I'm just really really crazy about that stuff because I just feel like, God forbid, my phone gets stolen or something. I just don't want it. After Jeff Bezos, do you think people are looking to hack your phone? Wait a second, asked the question about Jeff Bezos. He's the richest man

in the world. And by the way, Bill Gates was on Stephen Colbert last night at the time of this taping, and they introduced him as the second richest man in the world, and I felt like, oh, poor bastard that used to be the richest. Wait for the divorce. He's back on top. No yeah, right, well no, uh well yeah because Bezos, no Bezos even cut in half. I think he's still number one, right way. Yeah, yeah, it's the broken boys in the big show. This is turning

into the fifteen minute morning show. Is awesome. We were just talking about sending news because Scary said he and his girlfriend don't and I don't understand it because she Mr Recap Danielle took a boobshot of herself today. She shut her phone down her shirt and snapped it and said that the show. Yeah, Tell is getting aroused because he threw fucking shirt and it and then now we

have to mark the six place. He's like, hey, look what I sent to Mr six one seven her man who's off to the And so she took her phone and angled it so only Danielle could see it and scars like, well I can't see it. Look, let do you see that ship? Yeah? So what was it? And what did you tell him in the text when you show um? So what I sent him was he was late for something that we were doing, and I was like, hurry the funk up, And then I sent him that and then guess who got there? Yea, he showed up.

What were you guys for doing? Going to dinner? I was like, hello, sirr, we have reservations, sent him a picture of like the menu is something from? That was me? Yeah, spicy Indian curry in a hurry. You shouldn't say. You should have said curry up, that's gonna curry up. I should have done that and say that your girlfriend doesn't ever send you anything, No, because I've never said anyone

let me jog my memory. I have never had any relationship in my life ever had anyone send me just pictures and say hey, thinking about you, like we sell them and I are not together like in um, like if I'm away with the show or something, He'll sometimes say, hey, send me a little something before I go to you go to bed, and then I like, I said, we'll do it even at home, Like I'll be upstairs in the bedroom and he'll be downstairs working and we'll text

each other pictures. I love that. I love that you scared that your pictures are gonna get out of here. And I told Gandhi because I had the cloud. You know, I don't care about the cloud. I care about when my kid takes my phone and he's like, I delete, delete, delete again again again. I'm just I know I'm dating myself. But when my girlfriend in college, which he was in college, she sent me pictures Garrett here now too. It was before digital photos, so she had pictures developed and then

mailed me the pictures from college. But they were like they would like, they were pretty pictures in a nice dress. Was like, she's looking really good at that picture. But it was was clothing you can't go to like a little Kodak little hot. Now back in the day, you got a little a little hot and get your picture developed. You don't want that pictures, Garrett. Do you and your wife send each other nasty fix? Let's not beautiful around

the room. Dan yelled, do you think either one or both? Yes? Both. I think I'm gonna say that Ali has sent Ali whose Garrett's wife sent Garrett pictures, but Garrett does not send them back at any point in the relationship. This is how they're both very good looking. I'm gonna say, yeah, they do it. I'm gonna say, yes, both attractive by the way, Gret, I'm gonna say because I feel like Ali is a little bit on the shy side and

like not like boom, look at my boobs. I think she's very like conservative, and I think Garrett's very respectful, and I feel like they do not send pictures to each other, and I feel like if they did, they wouldn't say it. Right here ahead, winner of guessing how he sext to each other is well be right back after this. Yeah, yeah, that Garrett. You've never seen a d of course, given her the D they have two kids, exactly,

You've you've never sent a picture. No, she has a birthmark that's too identifiable if you're not together and you're like thinking about you, do you know what I mean? Like never, I've never in my life I've sent pictures of scary to people. So that comte that I told you when we dated it were no digital phone codes. That's right, we sent I sent her four or five, which was I L you don't remember, welcome to smart peep. And then all of a sudden, smart peep, Welcome to

smart peep. And then you put your code. All the time we spelled boobies and shelled oil and hello this Hello. You could do hello. It was like the dirtiest thing you could page your text someone. I don't really, you really couldn't. There was no like F me now now you had to use code with the time numbers. Six nine means well, I think we got that. You could you like now you could like d t F. You could put like a four for the D in your case,

you like an eight for the day. I know, but you could spell out, you know, d T F if that was a thing like then, but it wasn't. You could say like like I want to you know, F you you you'd forgot the letters. I think you guys should go home for all Time's day and send your ladies some some scandals picks. See what happens, tell us how it goes, not gonna happen. I know, maybe that my camera my phone automatically shuts off. It would spark some I don't know Valentine's Day, she wanted to see it,

she could see it. I'm much scary, though, I don't see scary taking a dick pick of himself. He said, no, you'll sold this, Dr fat Laws. Now you can see your pans. Now it looks bigger now, right, do you always? Yes? Doctor, you gain the optical inch when you exact lose weight, you lose likes larger penis filter that you could use. Yeah, puke's rainbows. Usually i'd be nervous about what is that? Super? Wasn't that your sister's name? Heya, and they call it

wasn't funny? You're laughing? And of course on the bus in school, everyone just like pretty Gaia and like, if you know Prea, she is the most timid, shy, sweet human being, like absolutely Paia unfortunate. So what were you saying, Garrett? No, I just don't see you taking ever, really taking a pick like that. Ever. I want you to surprise Robin at work. I don't see home or something. Not to say that. I don't envision you taking a picture. That's what I'm saying. I'm just saying you in general, I

can't picture. It's weird. How I even say it'll still come out wrong. So it's okay. I just I'm it's not who I am, and that's what I'm trying to sing. Also, I think that there should be a serious disclaimer here. We're talking about sending it to people that you're in a relationship with, who have already gone drop on the train, which has happened to be repeatedly. I think it's hilarious, But also I'm like, oh, you don't know you send

dick picks around on the train. No, So especially when it's somebody you don't know, hello, then they could just like throw it out there in I do. I had forward immediately, I got Gandhi's garden. There's no there's no strubbery your girlfriend. I don't don't. I just I'm embarrassed to do it. I can't. I gotta tell you ask? Can you? Can you at least send her a text message? Worded text message? Would you? What would you say or do if I send you a picture of me like

but but but not send anything? But I'm just curious she'd be happy with it. I don't think she would. You do you say hey? Funny conversation on the podcast today my co workers on the Brooklyn Boys episode seventy three. I think we're on I think it's seventy four. They did not believe we didn't introduce you. I'll look it up. Don't text Unt Thanky. By the way, hold on last week we were talking about Gandhi. We're like, oh, guys, let Gandhi know what she needs to listen to this episode.

But then later Gandhi walked in, so we had her on the episodes. We're like, you don't need to tell her. But people as they were listening, We're tweeting her to listen, and then they were like, oh, yeah, too late. We heard it too late. So I got two tweets from everyone, Oh my god, listen to the Brooklyn Boys. Oh you're on the Brooklyn list. You're on the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Who's this? What's up? Hey, Brian? What's up? Man? Not much, Fren, what's going on? Guys? You texted us and we texted

you back. You have we have We have a room full of people today, buddy. Yeah, So Gandhi's here, Danielle's here, and Garrett. None of the full house no, no needson to go. Now. Brian has a story about getting free dessert, which I have not heard yet because you texted us. So what happened? Where are you? Where you from? I'm from Lancaster, p A nine on man. Well, thanks for checking in with us. Hey, hey, Brian, before you get into the free dessert story for Scary, we're talking in

the room. Uh do you envision Scary sending a picture of himself to his girlfriend like a naked a nudy man? I don't really think about that, but now I can't. I can't see him doing that. You know me, You know my personality, you know the kind of person I am right, I'm gonna be honest. Knowing your personality, I completely thought you would send a deepen we're talking about that. I don't see Scary doing that. You're married, yes, I am. Would you send that to your wife? A picture of

Scary penis? She doesn't want to believe me? No, no, she wouldn't want that, but she might be interested in mine. Yeah, Scary, we're talking what you're saying. Scary Scary didn't believe his girlfriend would be into it. So do you do you send them back and forth? I don't, but maybe that maybe there's something new I should be trying. I don't know. He sounds just like Harry Conna Jr. So we're all wearing red except for Brody and Gandhi. I'm in my

best Valentine's Day black woman blue. Yeah, so, Brian, so tell us what happened, what went wrong? And where were you all? Right? So? I was ordering flowers for for my wife for Valentine's Day. This was last week. I tried to get you know, the orders in early, and the charge of my card was pending for a while. Um and then when it did post, it posted us

double the price. So so so I called. I called the flower company up and I spoke to them and they had me on hold, and then I actually got disconnected and I had to call back and hold for another ten minutes. I foindly. I got to speak to an associate and I explained to them. I said, hey, you know, I got charged double. You know, they apologized and they said that they'll fix the charge. But I remember what Brodie said, even it's not even you need that tattoo. You got your free dessert. Yeah, So I

told him, I said, I've been inconvenience. I said, I've been an inconvenience once by having my checking account on balanced by them posting a you know, a double charge, plus you had to make this phone call. Your time is worth money for exactly. So, so they gave me fifty percent off the flowers that originally ordered, and they gave me a guaranteed morning delivery, which I just got

confirmation that my wife received this morning at work. So you need to tell me you convinced them that because you got disconnected and you had to make the phone call in the first place, that warranted free dessert. Absolutely, even not even well, Brian, I gotta ask you. You said they gave you a fifty off discount. Did they take away the the first charge because you said you got double charged? Yeah, so they took away to second charge and he took away the first charge and reposted

it with what's the name of this flower company? I gotta be honest, Brian, before the Brooklyn Boys podcast, how would you have handled this? You know what? I probably would have just fought just to get the second charge off and would have ended it there. But uh, you know, like I said, even not even I'm a slice, I'm a Slice for Life. My wife Slice for Life, she actually just finished all seventy two episodes. You bought caught

up you listen to Order? She listened to her. Hey, I call her listening out of order right today, listen to order. So I guess you just answered that question because we didn't know if this was number seventy three and number seventy four. But I guess it's number seventy three. Yeah, number seventy three. So so my wife, Allison, I guess, Garrett, my wife's name is also Allison. Wait are you married to my wife? Flowers sent her something interesting, so happy.

Valentin's dight to my wife, and she's when she's listening. And I love you guys. I'm so glad. I'm so oddered to be talking to all of you, Brody, Scary, Danielle to for a long time. I really appreciate and Gandhie your great, great addition. I'm loving it all you guys. Keep up with the great work. Love you, thank you, Love You's a good day. This is so cool because I listened to the podcast, Like I know, I worked with these guys every day, right, So it's kind of stupid.

But when you listen to the podcast and I'm not actually on the show. You become a fan, so I'm kind of like fan girling a little bit. Like it's it's so weird. It's like, Danielle, you work in the same room with them for four hours, you can find the same chair, and you're not as excited. I've never seen you like this because like you know what, like you was saying, don't Texas, what's the next thing that Danielle wants to accomplish? Like we're living out her dream

right now. I'll sign a T shirt for you. I will send you invisible. I will send you we got a new winter one, will send you the Invisible. We're not okay? So I had a problem. Since you guys are here, I was gonna ask scary, but I okay. So a number of episodes ago, you guys, listen to you. I've heard the story ready. My friend Jeff and I went to the movies and I have the fen Dango app, so I buy the tickets and he reimburses me. The last time we went, the tickets with ten sixty six.

So when he shows up at the theater, I scanned the code. We go in and he hands me ten bucks and goes, there, you go, thanks for picking up the tickets. And I got upset because it's ten six to six. But this is an old story, okay. So this weekend we decided to go to the movies and have we go to dinner and have it. So okay. So he says, we do you want to go to dinner? I said, are you pick it? He says, well, let's go to Chili's. It's right by the movie theater and

a great okay. So I said, I'll meet your Chili's. Get there literally put her name down. Because it's a Saturday, we have to wait. So he's all right, no problem. And I was coming from my mom's house, so it was like a hour drive. I said, hey, I'm gonna be there at this time, get there like twenty minutes early. He got there five minutes early, and he texted me and says, um, hey, there's a line, and I'm gonna

put my name down, all right. So when I get there, I get a spot right by the door and he comes out and he says, we're not gonna make the movie. It's a twenty five minute wait. What I don't want to do? I said, when did you get here five minutes ago? I'm like, how could you're not there earlier? So I said, I'll tell you what. Let me call one of the other theme restaurants on the strip here. I'll call Applebee's. Call Applebe's and they're like, no, wait,

come now. So I'm like great, I said, let's go. Uh we'll take one car if you want, and we'll drive to Applebee's. We'll go to the movies. After movies, we'll get your car on mine. What do you want to do? It goes, yeah, let's take your car. Okay, no problem. So we get in my car tricked Applee's. Have a nice dinner. No wait, no problem, go to the movies. I get him in and he says, uh yeah, I'll get changed after after the movies whatever, okay, no problem. Okay,

I'm not gonna ask him for the money. I'm like, you give me ten sixty six. Okay, So we go. We go to the movies. The movie was We went to see um the New liam nesson movie Coastal Cold whatever it was, don't tweet me, you know what it is, okay, don't text me, uh Frozen Patrol whatever it was. It was good. It was right. It was good. It was like frost Chase something like that. By the way, this was like a couple of days after that terrible story.

He told. Okay, so so first of all, you get a signed seats, right, So we I got the last two good seats for that night. So we go into theater and you know, when you go to as signed seats, it's two, two, two and two, all the red recliners. So I go to my seat. There's a guy in one of the two and a girl in the other of the two. Because there were four seats available, they didn't even sit in the pair. They sat one and one pair one the other pair. So I'm looking at

them and going, hey, we're doing on my seats. The previews, it started like, oh these your seats. There are side seats, asshole. And since I know I got the last two good seats, you know, they're not your seats. But they got up and they went to like the front row. Their seats were in the front row. You know, you brought front row tickets because you knew the seats that you're in were bought read right, you had to know that, so you already know somebody owns those seats out of my seats.

That's ridiculous. So that's a different rands. Hold on, hold on, hold on, I never got that fucking sixty six cents from Okay, So we go to them. We go and I'm like, oh, I get the money from him. When we get to the car, I'll ask him for the money.

No big deal. So we get to the parking lot and at this point it's like eleven thirty Chilies is winding down, whatever time it was, and the parking lot is basically empty, and his little green convertible outie is now ten to fifteen feet back from where he left it, with the front of his cost smashed. Old paid that sixty six hold on. So there's a note on the car. Hey, sorry, I tried looking for you in Chilies, which we weren't there.

But here's my number of my name is Melissa. And he left the phone but one of the digits you couldn't read, so we had to call no, no, no. You can see the pen it was either a six or one or okay, So we called the police to fell an accident report because there's no answer on the phone. The guy says, I can tell by that number it's a burner phone. Right, okay, So long story shorty, he doesn't have insurance for hit and run. He has a weird insurance like if he crashed it his insurance, but

hit and run no insurance. And then right, okay, so he's out a couple of grand on the car. Now I suggested take my car, leave your car here, and he's like, a great idea. Okay, that's part of the problem too. I can still ask him for my ten bucks, right, come on, man, he went through, but he still owes me the ten bucks. Still, after everything he's gone through, I think you could eat that ten bucks, and you could. I feel like the next time I see him, were like, hey, man,

you should get the movies this time. You didn't pay me the last time for you. Don't be a dude. He drove your dick. Yeah, by the way, that isn't answer to my question him get the money back. And his answer was your dick, your dick, just send a fixture in your face to someone over Wow. So okay, I get that his cause damage can't know about me. I'm out ten bucks. Now, what is the sympathy for that? I feel like I got hit and ran. No because you have to think about it that way. I mean,

keep his car, I mean like two dollars. Fuck, he drove used the one who put himself. Okay, I think you're missing something. I used my gas to go from chillers up the block. It could have been worse for you, if you think about it. If you had left your car and taken his car, would have been your car smack. But I've gotten sure insurance. You can't. He stoles with that's ten six six. It's ten sixty six times two. Now, dad,

he had an awful, awful day. Think any one thirty two years, ten sixty six certain things, you know, the consideration next time if next time you see you, if next time you go to the movies and he doesn't you know, I took him on the Norwegian cruise with us. You got a free cruise at the deal. If you how much did you pay free? C doesn't matter. I just I'm just saying that he doesn't know me anything, because a free steak dinner is still unpaid for. But

I took him on the dinner. But he always made ten thirty times alright, Gandhi, No, you're absolutely wrong, you are. There's not one person in here who crazy because it's not your ten dollars. I will give you the ten dollars. How about that. I know you're talking. I was in a situation where I thought exactly of you the other day. So I went back, I'm not going to be complimentary. No, it is because I thought what would Brody do in

this situation? So I got I got me and my wife new iPhone chargers for our phones, like the case chargers. I bought him online and uh it was it was the wrong size. So I went to the store so I didn't have to do the whole shipment stuff. Went to the store. The guy goes, okay, that's great. Uh, you owe me one cent for the restocking fee, just for one. You can't ring it. You can't ring it up, so so for the exchange. So I had this happen

to me. I didn't have who has a penny? Like, no one really carries money on them as much, let alone a penny, right, right because the other ones they can't up in a register, right or something like that. And yeah, right, that sounds like a problem on that guy. It's his problem. Yeah, So I hope he gave him the penny. Well, I had to go back out to my car and go through the change put a penny in. Well, that's so I thought. I thought he owed me a penny. So I stood there for five minutes. Ag, oh, it's

a penny. Don't worry, I don't need it. It's a you know, if if times get tough and I might need that penny, I'll come back and I'll tell you I need that penny. Goes, no, you owe me a penny, Like, oh my god. He was serious. He I go, you're serious? He goes, yeah, serious. I go, I don't have a penny on me. He's a penny, him a penny. He owes you the case, let us draw me a penny short.

So I go this This argument probably could have one on a half hour if Brody was here, of why I'm not paying a penny, I would have gotten a free phone out of the deals. Don't be a cashier if you don't know how to do math I had. I went shopping this week, and I think that the money I owed was ten sixteen, so I had a quarter and a penny. So I gave her a quarter and a penny. So I get a dime back. So they wanted to get nine cents. She looked at me like,

and she gave me the penny back. She don't understand. I don't know. I want to give you the Oh you know what it was? It was, Um, it was I gave her. I gave whatever it was. I gave her a single to get a ten back and a penny to get a time back. And she's like, you gave me too much money. I go, just put it in, just hit the numbers and do the calculator. Like, if you got to use calculator, you should n't be on the register. You shouldn't be Yeah, well it's all done

for them now. They don't need they don't need us, and they also need you. You don't need your brain. They also just read whatever was on a lot of the cashiers don't know that that's just a calculator function. In other words, if I give them a twenty and they go twenty, and I go, no, I got a ten. You give me ten. They go, I can't take it ardy into the twenty, and then he shows I'll be short ten dollars. No, you won't be sure. Where are you shopping? I don't want a name name, Okay, I'm

never going to go there. But I did talk about calls that the Hello Titty couple episodes Hello the Big Hello Kitty on the Titty that she was bad at math too. But if you're thrown by change, you got one job, two jobs. You scan and you give change. This is why I never work a register anymore. When I worked to McDonald's, I was like so confused. But back when we were coming up, we actually had to

do math. There was no automatic. Just now and now you don't even have to open the register of some of the places has like a little like slide and it just it slides out of the side rights, it slides out of the side of the sponsor. And then the point that they can be you know, I mean, it's all auto. Right, Yeah, So how ironic gives you with out ten sixty six, I'd let me tell a story,

just one story, and then I'll leave. Sure when, by the way, the fact that you guys are like sort of hosting this great, He's gonna be so pissed guys Brooklyn Boys and the Jersey Kid night, and he was like scary. Listen to Wheelie. Let's let's sit down you me and Brodie and we're gonna do with the Brooklyn Boys and the Jersey kid. I could see it now. Last in that sentence, he's out there by the way. By the way, what you're describing is an exact text

conversation he had with us on Friday. Danielle, listen to what Scary's gonna say, and then see how close it is to the exact text message he sent you and I once real show. We could take this podcast, take it to the next level, and we could turn it into a real show. And not only that, but the same text message, hold on now, I'm gonna use my social media fine, and then Brody uses his and Scary you use yours, and then everybody's gonna all pull together, and then we're gonna get to take it to the

next level. And paste that and just sendence everybody. I did not receive this text. I did not answer him, and he said, why haven't you answered me? And my answer was, I've been doing stuff with the kids, and I'm at a soccer game, and I'll answer I cannot read all of this word. Definitely definitely copied and paste today he sent to us on Friday. By the way, I'm gonna ask you guys as the two other members of fedge Ham. Yes, I know this to be hold

on the defunct fedge Ham. How many episodes is? How many podcasts? Greg t run into the ground. I love the guy hold on but no, No. On the first or second episode of fedg him. Yeah he said the Brooklyn boys that thing's going nowhere. He did. You're right, he didn't say that because everyone told us that head And now he's begging to get on because we're a trained he gave. He gave us a very nice compliment. Yes recently, Yes, last night. Yeah, I love what you

guys are doing. Yes, but let's do something else, and you want to do something more remix Daniel, What did you want to say? Oh? I was going to say, speaking of going to the movies with someone and dating and available, let's go and I'll tell my husband I went to the movies with a guy back in the day when I was dating. They were black and white

with no sound, and I said him, shut up. And I said to him, you know why, why don't you know I can pay for my own you know when we He no, no, I got it, don't worry about it. So he pays and I and we go into the thing and I gave him. I think he said to me, oh,

the movie tickets were this much. So I actually gave him half the movie tickets, you know, but I still owned him a couple of dollars because I didn't have enough in my pockets already better than my friendship, right, so I've so so we were going to go Dutch. He wanted to pay and I said no, So I think I owed him three or four bucks. We get into the theater. He gets online and he looks at me and he goes, you know those three dollars you owe me the four dollars, could you go over there

and get me some milk douts? Oh god, first and last time we ever went out, and I could not believe. Look, I don't care you you want me to give you the money. I offered the money, and I know I didn't have enough to cover it whatever, but you're going to send me on the line, the girl who was on the day to get your milk dots and tell me give me you three four dollars for the milk dods. Know Danielle. Knowing Danielle now if she was anything like she was now that she was back then, she would

have said, you could take your milk does. You're never going to get these milk do either, And he didn't. That was the last, first and last time we went out. Someday, I'm going to text my husband these pictures milks right here. I had a guy right before I was moving from Boston. I was joking. I was joking around, and I said, now is the time, fellas, if you ever wanted to ask me out, this is your chance because I'm leaving.

And nobody did. But I did get a venmo request from someone to pay him back for a date that we went on because he wasn't happy with the outcome outcome. It was the outcome. There was no outcome, There was no outcome. He was cute, but he was douchy and clearly like, hit me up for a hundred and thirty two dollars and he wanted me to pay him back. I was like, that's hilarious. We went to dinner and

had drinks. That was it. Fuck you, Oh, I'd like decline to take these milk duds and show them expectation. Speaking of outcome, a lap offoons under score one. He knows who he is. I bet he said that the right way. Yeah, exactly. He sent me this message. He slid into my d M. S Hey Dave, I'm David. By the way. I was just wondering, when are you guys leaving for winter break? I hear Greg t on the pre Come Morning Show. Thevie Duran Show has upcoming time off for winter, so I don't I know he

meant the pre Morning Show. What I want to know is why did his phone complete pre com the pre Come Morning Show. You're you and Dan Yellow on the Precum Morning and completely? Is there a warning that the pre com Morning shows you don't know if you us lock up? I understand. How often do you guys text people? Pre calm definitely says pure that's a listener. Here's a picture of my I know, but here's a picture of my dick. You might notice on the top there's a

little Precome Morning Show. I was excited. I think if I did this have to listen, If I did this podcast more often, I'd be talking like this all the time my normal voice. I don't know, you guys have time or not. But my mom has a new segment. You want to call my mom real quick. Those guys in the Roman and we'll be right back after this. Okay, alright, talk about Sloman's now or something. No, no, no, no, ok So, get my mom on the phone, all right.

She had a problem at a restaurant and the dead tar. I love you, Garrett. That's where he draws the line, just trying to leave when you grab too many brodies. I want to talk to your well, thanks for stopping gart HIGI. How long have you been doing this today so far? How long? We're seven minutes? Long? Are they two hours? Okay, I'm gonna have to go. You gotta go, you gotta go? How long is your podcast? We're actually? She answered, Hello, we Hi, welcome to Brooklyn Boys, episode

seventy three. You want to remember that because she tells all her friends that listen out of order and only gives them the episode numbers that she's on. What is the best episode? My mom? Okay, so, Mom, you're on the podcast with Brodie and Scary of course, but Danielle and Gandi you here also, Mommy, will you ever come to Hi? Gandhi? You're the only one I haven't met. I look forward to. I'm very excited for this phone call right now. Okay, So mom, set the scene. You

were at a new restaurant with your friends. Okay, I went out with a group of women. We like to try someplace new. That's the thing we do out here, okay, right now that I live in enjoy Cy. So we went to a place called the Station because somebody said they have good hamburgers. It's kind of a roadside pub al. Somebody ordered a roast beef sandwich in the group, and she asked the way to bring her a little ramikin of mayonnaise. When the check came, I'm the accountant for

the group. That's my mom. The account doesn't did you? She paid her ten sixty six. There's a dollar charge on the check, and I asked the waiter what is this dollar for? He said, that's for the mayonnaise. Hold on, hold on, Daniel upset already, that's ridiculous, My goodness, I said, wait a minute, Wait a minute. I'm a brody, I'm already grumbling. I said, a dollar for mayonnaise? Do you charge for ketchup and mustard? Too? No, just for the mayonnaise.

So before I paid the check, I went to the register. I said, is this a mistake? A dollar charge for a little cup, a little ramicking of mayonnaise. She said, no, we charge for mayonnaise. So I went back to my friends. I said, girls, will pay the check. We're getting out of here. We're changing the station here again, so that coming here again the dollars of But second, if you look at the cost of a jar of mayonnaise versus ketchup and mustard, aren't they all around? It's in the condiments. Yes,

they shouldn't charge for me. And so this past week I'm driving her around with doing some shopping and we passed this place. It says, David, you see that place. They're dead to me. And you know what I think it is. I think it's because they could they feel they could charge for anything that's out of the ordinary. Well wait, there was a fast food place I used to go to. I'm not going to say which one it is, and they used to charge for one of

the condiments. And if you didn't get a certain thing on the menu, they would say, well, that doesn't go with what you ordered, so you need to pay for it. But I like to dip my French fries in and they would say, no, it doesn't go with your food. I'm like, but that I want it, and they would charge for for that. You food, that's because no, you're not Jewish. Jewish people dip dip. Indian people dip. I didn't.

We aren't gonna let me dip. Okay. So there's a pizza place chain that may or may not be from California, and they've got a kitchen, okay, and if you ask, because they they're very light on the sauce, and I'm a sauce guy. There was a time I don't know because I haven't been back then, if you ask for extra sauce, they charged your dollar. And the words of my mother, the funk out of here. Yeah, I did see if you ask for extra chicken or you ast me when you voted up when you got a quick check, Yeah,

you want extra turkey or whatever that makes sense? Even avocado? Have you guys know I don't eat vegetables. You know I order roast Polomono vegtables right, Okay, So I get it. I get it. They get a direct message from Sully zero to one nine. He says, hey, man, great episode of the Brooklyn Boys. I'm a huge fan, and I listened to the older episodes while I wait for the new ones in order. Just ordered chicken lomaine, no vegetables, and it was two dollars more. W t F. If anything,

it should be cheaper because it's best food. Then they have to cook slice for life looking forward to a live episode. Let me tell you what they do. Have had this problem, especially in Manhattan. If you order no vegetables, they will tell you they have to put an extra meat to fill the container, so they charge you two dollars more. That's what I'm going to f you. I didn't ask for extra meat. I just don't want the vegetable.

But you'd still be the same person complaining if they gave you a three quarters of a container and it's not filled up all the way and then because all the way up, no, I can't win with you. Hold on, no, I'm not that person, because I'm gonna experience no vegetables. Would you say, I would say, thank you, there's no vegetables and another thing. So if they charge you extra, they're dead to you. However, if they don't know that, scalions of vegetables. If I have to call and no vegetables,

but they still put scillions in the sauce. There dumbest bricks, Mama Brody, what episode was that numbers? Every one of them was a skiing episode. But I kind of see this guy. I don't remember the numbers, and I'm famous if now here's the problem with my mom. She's getting that, she's getting a taste of celebrity, and she's loving the fact that people hear her on this and she she posts the link and then all the cousins hear it, so all the time I see her. Now do you

need me on another episode? I haven't been on in so many weeks? Right? Always need she said. So we're driving around her area this weekend and she's like, you know, besides the mayonnaise grumble, I've got other grumbles. Where did this word grumble come from? Just? Well, you have rants? I think I should have grumbles. So she's got and she went down a list of like five or six grumbles because you want me to do them all on one episode? Or should I do them on separate episodes?

Want we want Mama's grumbles? Mom, without saying what the problem is, do you remember the subject matter of one of your other grumbles? Yeah? Okay, I saw in the future episode you will hear one of my mother's pissed at the orange juice industry. She's got a grumbles. You know I am too, though, Mama the way, what's your mom bringing to the tap? Scary tony Grange juice? I got a orange? But what's your problem with Grange juice? If it's my mom's toplem, we'll do it right now.

It's my problem. Has to do with the pulp versus no pul no, and the concentrate versus fresh. No. That's okay, that's that doesn't even count. That's not a grumble. Scary, it's her segments. Don't you watch? Go back to watching MSNBC. We'll talculator right, all right? I think I love her. That's the cutest. She's awesome. But changing the station scary. That's not even a grumble. So normally I hear her bitch, and I go, I think you have a valid point.

When she's like, oh I've got another grumble, I'm like, my calm down. You don't have your own podcast yet? Slow down? Oh my god? Yeah, mom and grandma grumbles. You know what she could do longer than us. She would be the first person to get to a million, and probably she's she's a character, Mayonnaise are out here? She called me eleven thirty at night. When she got home. She's like, do you have a minute like Mon's eleven thirty?

All right, you have a minute dinner with the girls to a new place, you know, like we always do. I'm like, I know, Ma, every time she tells me about this, she went out for a new place. I go, I know the routine. It's a new place. So it's just I there was a dollar charge on my bill. I said, you were upset? Yeah, I got what was it for? Something reasonable? If I'm mayonnaise? So anyway, so there you go. I think I love her, and I see where you have come from. Yes, you like your

dad or your mom? Did you just hear that segment? Yeah? Like your mom. But I don't know because I I unfortunately I remember your dad. No, my my, my, My dad was very much into electronics and the old time TV shows and stuff. He got me into that. Okay, But I once said to my dad. I think it was eleven or twelve years old. Got mad at me. I said I said that, how tall are you? He said six too? I said, could you grow a little taller? He said why? Because all my jokes go over your

head because appreciate I was like waka walk on. He was not happy. My dad, My dad appreciated, Uh, this my job here when I had it, you know, when he was around. Uh, he used to send me like song parodies that people would vowed him and it would be mine, sent me this, that was me. No, he was good. But but as far as like the sense of humor, what you hear and what people seem to like what I do, that's my mom's family. There are

other comedy writers in my family. And uh, you know so I met one, Yeah, my cousin right in Los Angeles when we went to l A for the Cousin John. My cousin John wrote for Rosie O'Donnell. He wrote for The Daily Show. He wrote for Penn and Teller. Imagine me, guys, imagine me sitting in a Chinese restaurant with the two of them on either side. That wasn't my cousin, That was my That was Craig from my improv group. He's

another comedic guy to know the cousins. When we went to the Consint the Redhead, my cousin John is is brilliantly funny, but he's the other kind of funny. There are two types of comics. They're the ones that are like joking, funny, outgoing, loud all the time, and then there's the quiet ones, like the sneak attack funny. Like so he writes really funny and if if he's in the mood, will will riff. But normally he's very like

you wouldn't know he was a comedy writer. And a lot of comics like that, like you know Robert Smigel, he was, He's a famous comic. He does the insult comic dog triumph. When you meet him, he's like, hey, how you doing. You want to help me write this joke? I was wondering if you think to punch very like

serious comics like the architect of comedy. And when you do stand up, you hang out in the green room with all the comics and some of them like don't talk and they're very like, they very like and they introvert. They get on stage and like they get off stage like, so, how was that was good? Yeah? A lot of comics are very serious, very uh. They have a lot of issues and a lot and some comics are like more outgoing, like people meet me, they have some idea that I'm like, oh,

you should be in comedy. My cousin John, you some drunk people I worked. I worked at a restaurant in Brooklyn called Rolling Roaster. It's a famous Brooklyn restaurant, and I used when I used to be funny like that like I am now at least I think I am. And my friend, my friend Vinnie said to me once because I was thinking about I made him write comedy someday, he says to me, goes, you're Rolling Roast to funny, like you're funny here, you know, like funny out in

the real world. Can imagine somebody said this guy but like, you know, like today, where is he now? Well, he's dead. He's not talking about Thanks for bringing that up anyway, He passed away from Yeah, I'll tell you the story of a funeral one day, because the funeral was funny every every By the way, by the way, how do you guys go off on tangents? Well, here's an exact. Comedy clubs on Mondays and Tuesdays don't normally have big

name comics. They have them on the weekends. So you got like a big comedy club or medium comedy club like Mondays and Tuesdays they'll have like funniest account to night, will you bring ten of your friends down to buy drinks? Right? Everyone has that Everyone is a funny person in the office. It's like American Idol, Remember the auditions and they were like, oh, everyone tells me I'm a great singer and they would like singing, like, oh god, your coworkers have no clue

or good singers. Everyone has that person at work who thinks you're the funniest person at work, and they might be the funniest person at the paper plant, no reference to the office, whatever you work, but not like stand up comedy funny, and that's okay. So he made me feel like you're you're like roast beef slice and funny, like you're funny in detention. So I'm glad I didn't listen to him worked out. But that happens in my

house too, though. My husband says he's the funny one, and I'm whatever, and I go, I don't pretty sure I get paid to be funny, and he goes, yeah, but not that kind of a funny, and then my kids agree. My kids agree, They're like, yeah, my dad's funny, or my my kids don't think I'm funny. They think my wife is much funnier. Can can I make you clean room? Because I can't make that in the rooms. I guess they're like, you're not funny dad, your dad jokes,

they're not dad jokes. I have a professional topic. Can I put you on the spot for something? Thanks? I wanted to take yourself out of the mix because I know you would say yourself, you think the funniest person on the show? Hold on, hold on, hold on. There's different types of funny. Great t is the funniest physical comedian on the show. Okay, um, I think speak at

the devil. He's calling my phone right now. I see on the show, I don't really talk a lot, so to me, yeah, I'm saying, but my my style of comedy is the humor is different. I think scary is self deprecating funniest on the show. I think Danielle is oh my god, what the hell is she talking about? Hilarious, where like she just says things You're like, oh my god, larious. I think, yeah, I think you have a sarcasm to you. I think I think Elvis says things he slips one

line is in not that I once. In general, Elvis is a very funny, affable but he doesn't try to be funny like so it's very hard to answer. But there are people on the show that their role isn't to be funny. But no, I don't. I don't think I'll tell you any other radio show you're not the funniest. I didn't think it was gonna be me. I just wanted to see who you're gonna say. I'll be honest

with you, I think everybody is funny in a different way. Differently, if you and Danielle were the same funny, I'd be like, Okay, It's like it's like apples and oranges. You're both fruit, but you're not. I can't say an apple is better than an orange fruit. At times, I wonder if you're a vegetables as I'm a fan of that plant. Well, right now, you're a fan of yellow squash, so you're right, you're right squash. Okay, so scary. Yeah, who do you think is the funniest person on the show? Don't look

at me. I think I think I think you're the funniest. Look at that, which is when I'm not allowed on the show. A podcast with you did. You did say that. Yeah, well I appreciate that, but that's all right, all right, right. You should have seen me back in rolling roadster when I was slicing roast people. Can I tell you so? I used to, like you know, I did. I did on an earlier episode. I think I told then get to the I don't think scary talks that all on this scary does we're even get to the foot in

the bag. Were footing the bag? And I have unused jokes. Leave a second. I told the story in an earlier episode. I got in trouble. I got in trouble and a chicken rim place. I said something that was I was much younger, and I thought everything was funny. You guys probably heard it. But as someone I said something inappropriate. Yes, I said something. I said two things. I said something that was slightly inappropriate even for that, and this was racist.

I would never say anthing racist. I say it all time. I never yeah, inappropriate, My it goes there you're talking about no, no, no, So I said something that was hurtful to someone. I meant it as a joke and I said something that was like, you know, I probably shouldn't said it. Now definitely not. But somebody, somebody said, um, they said, oh, I was working in a chicken rip play said fried foods and stuff. And they said, hey, um, uh do you batter your shrimp? And I said yeah,

he was smacking around a little bit. And they and they, they were like they got upset with I would have laughed, what's wrong with these people? They got a freaking pull up there? Well, they said, they said, I don't think that he right right? And and I okay, I and then and then so I'm not saying I made here's the thing. I made a different battered joke previous to that that was worse. And it was board timing. And

then someone asked me how to get there? Like, oh, I told this story ready it was it was uncomfortable. I was like, well, I was like, boom, funny, clever, but sometimes my mind is too quick. It was the one and it was the chicken rip play. And uh, the way, the guy who who who opened this place up, he didn't put a one piece chicken on the menu, so he put like a number two was a one piece and number three was a two piece. It used

to drive me crazy. So somebody said there was no way to buy like it was like you could buy a drumstick for like a dollar fifty whatever it was, So you couldn't nowhere on the menu could you buy like just one chicken breast? Right. So a woman come up to me and said, how do I get one breast? What did I said? I said, the surgical procedure that would that would happen to that. That wasn't appropriate. I find that hilarious, Okay. I thought it was okay because

her mother had had that operation. And again before you, Governor of Virginia, of me, it was in the eighties, and I feel terrible about it. And I'm only telling the story to say sometimes your brain works too quickly and you have to get better at that. But I was attempting to be funny back when I worked in a Chicken and Replace. I've always been this way. But I used to get in trouble and I told the story about the dean have your perfect outlet. Well, these

guys Sharving heard it real quick. Daniels heard the story. She listens in order. But I did get in trouble in school where the dean called my mom. I got pulled out of school and said Mrs Rohdeum calling from the dean's office and is my son okay, it's okay, so all right, he's all come right now, No, your son's fine. He thinks he's a comedian. She was, yeah, well, yeah, he sort of is. No, no, you don't understand. He was extremely humorous and up to the class, and she goes, well,

what's the problem he gets set from me. She's like, he thinks he's funny. He's very funny. And he's like, no, you don't understand. He's in trouble for what for being funny? Oh? Stop it? Yeah, And he got so mad. He was trying to tell my mom that I was in trouble for being funny, and she's like, I'm so proud of him, so you admit he's funny and problem in my school because my son gets in trouble for talk. Spenser Preston, and he gets in trouble for talking all the time.

And I have a hard time getting mad at him because I did it too. I used and when they would send me to the principal's office, I'd stand outside the door and make faces at everybody. And I never Actually, it's probably not a bad problem. To be dealing with. And I think I told this story a long time ago, but it was over a year ago. Mr Cohen from Mark Twain Junior High School. Oh yeah, we had these little books you'd sign, the autograph books back in the day.

And so he drew a picture of a mouth with braces, because I had braces. I graduated ninth grade. I was thirteen, so I still had by braces. They hadn't come off yet. And he drew a picture of a mouth with braces and he said, good luck. I'm sure your big mouth will get you in trouble some day. And anyway, I gotta go. Thank you guys so much for letting us be Oh please, it is so cool. I can't wait for a time day. Guys. Thank you very much, very much.

I we'll be right back. All right, so you guys are still here after that you just played get out. They love us so much. I got unused jokes. And then we'll get out of here. Yeah, all right, we are. We're already late. Yeah. No, it's got a lot a lot going on here. All right, Bye, bye, guys, Thank you? Can I can I come with you? Take me with you. They've becoming regulars on the show. No, great, when I pay him. These are punchlines that we're not used on

the show. All right, all right, so this one, we were talking about traveling to Mars that right now, traveling to Mars is a one way trip because by the time you get there, there's nowhere to get back. You're dead. I said. So my joke was, well, Mars maybe a one may one way, but there's a bunch of people in this room who's uranus is two way? Hi? Oh okay, we couldn't get that joke on the air. Elvis got a text message that said, oh, Elvis, you're being a

little squirrelly today, because what does that mean? And so my joke was, it means you're trying to get some nuts in your mouth. And he wouldn't do that. Uh, let me see. Oh, he wants to celebrate Gallantine's Day, the day before Valentine's Day when girls go out with my boyfriends. He said, well, I should be able to go out on Galantine's Day and I said, no, you should go out on Gayantine's Day. They didn't want to

do that. Um. We did a story about a wild wild leopard on the loose in some town and I said, oh, the wild leopard apparently he was spotted. Didn't get to that. And then finally he found this to be a little too much. We did a story Gandhia destroyed her news about polar bears and how paular bears had moved into this town, uh somewhere up north and they were making themselves at home on people's lawns. And I said, ah, damn, polar bears, white privilege. We didn't get to do that anything.

So there you go. Oh my god, that was a weird booking. Boys, I love those people in the room. You know, we're the only ones from from Brooklyn. Boys, boys Glass, Okay, no, my mom's in Brooklyn. Don't tweet us.