#72: Mad & Boujee (a.k.a. Brody & Skeery)

more carms. I'm cutting everything out. Okay, I mean no, not now they are they listen you know that. I'm I'm working with noon. I'm following the program. You really are there, you're looking great, thank you. But here's the thing. I'm allowed to have a strawberry chocolate covered strawberry, so you're allowed. So you know, it's it's not a lifestyle change. You're going through a lifestyle change and that's fine. But what and and this is not a commercial, No, it's not.

I'm just telling you that with NOM you can eat in moderation and you change the way you eat. And I'm working on that. Well, I like the way you ate that chocolate coverage Trump. It did broke apart in my hand I had to do. I didn't have to do a face shove. I'm not gonna lie. I could go for a chocolate covered right now, but I'm not. You can you cannot do it. No. Um, since we last met, we've been what would have you been doing? You and you and I are the people who are

slices who are listening. Well, the super Bowl happened, since you know help, But that was, by the way, any predictions I made on the last episode ignore. I was like, oh what I say, like, yeah, terrible. We were way off. I think Uh. I had either team making more points, scoring more points than the two teams actually scored combined. It's safe to say the over didn't hit if you took the under. Yeah, thirteen to three was the final score. And um, I was part of a huge Super Bowl box,

like a score change box meeting. Every time the score changed, someone got paid. Yeah. That that was not good for people in score change boxes. Uh. That the way that game went because it the score didn't change very much and whoever had three three ended up with that. But that's a great box three three If you have three three as a box. But that person cleaned up. Yeah.

But but when Greg's Airline was going to kick that field goal at the end, make it thirteen six, that would have changed things for everybody, Like that really would have been But all right, well so yeah, it's I also left everyone with a cliffhanger last time before. You just want to say one thing, sorry, you can say And I tweet this every year the second the Super Bowl is over, it's baseball season. Oh yeah for me, like I can almost smell the grass already. When when

for pitchers and catchers? How many days the Monday? I think eleven or twelve depends on the team. Summer eleven, summer twelve, doesn't matter. The point is you're baseball fan, and I am. I am crazy You're you're like baseball. I'm surprised, but I know people like both baseball hockey. That's your thing. That's great for me, it's base I'm

surprised you never went to baseball camp. I have a friend and I think you would like sleep away or like like that, playing with the vets, playing with the veterans, you know, like fantasy camp. Yeah, a buttery of ours is went to the Mets the New York Mets fantasy camp, and he looked like he had a ball playing with veteran players from like the eighties six series World Series. My friend Jeff, not my friends Jeff that we've talked

about in this podcast. The high school friend Jeff was a friend he did that got his uniform with his name on the back. That seems like it's all you. It seems like you would be all about that life. Not really maybe, But you know what, First of all, it's very expensive and the Mets have not going. Yeah, it's it's it's a little expensive to say the least. Also, it's never been when we were on vacation, so I was never able to go and afford it and all that.

But listen, we've gotten to do some things, and we've done some charity softball game. We've played with John Franco, who is one of the best left handed relief pitches of all time. Arguably don't not a big enough, not not big enough for us as far as uh, you know, big enough like thrill because we were used to these things every day. We're kind of our buddy Nelson Figaro used to was pitched for like seven or eight teams Mets Phillies. I've had a catch with him, you know,

we got to play softball with him. Uh No, it would be a big thrill to do the fantasy camp right, it is very up my alley. You would not want to do that because you don't really like being in the field. You're a hitter, but that's it. Yeah, I get hit, Yeah, and then I want to miss the line drive. If someone could pinch run the first for you, that'd be great. And yeah, you're a bad in cage guy. And then I'm at the bar, right, Yeah, bad in cage. I've done this. If you d h and no run,

that'd be you. That's my problem is I I have a short attention span. It's like I don't want to I'm done with this. What's the next I hit the ball? I gotta go. There's a there's a party somewhere. Yeah, if they're you know what I think if they by first base, if they put a table with all service, like where the first base coach stands, you would run your ass down there. Yeah. And then you have the girls with the sparklers by second you might get a

double ID love that. That would be great. Yeah, I can see that What would you have to put a third third base like an ice sculpture with the liquor flowing through the ice sulpture. Yeah, and I have to put your mouth on the mouth on the bottom of it, and the eyes the liquor dribbles down. Yeah. I remember you did it with apple Tine's once and you were drunk after five minutes. What would make me slide first into home? Chicken palm, Yeah, just a great meal, good

Italian food, blood, bad blood. People keep asking I got I got a tweak today about it. We're gonna, you know what on a text. I'm gonna make another attempt to take you a steak dinner, but I'm afraid it's gonna be free, and then you're not. You're gonna say it doesn't know. Can you say we call a truce on this the next steak dinner I take you to, whether it's free or no. You have to I suffered career wise for your thing. You You have to have some penalty, So I know the penalty is going to

do with me. I know. Uh, speaking of which, uh, you were about to say something that we was a cliffhanger. So I do want to talk about how you sort of asked me this week, but go on, you go first. Well, last week, at the end of the podcast, I said, I mentioned that I did something that behind everyone's back and everyone's back, that nobody knew about, and even the person who I did it too doesn't know. But I guess I'm gonna reveal it here supposed to reveal it's

not you. If you remember a couple of weeks ago, I last week I hooked our our girl Gandhi up. Gandhi's a co host on the Big Show Elvis Rancho, and she needed a table in the worst way to a specific steakhouse. Yes, she needed a table so she couldn't get into this place. So I made a phone call for her because she she came to me and said, scary, you gotta help me get into the steakhouse. Your Mr Mayor, you know everybody you see and I don't, by the way,

but I wanted. I didn't want to strike out, So I felt like there was this obligation the war Way to the World was on my show, that you needed to show off to Gandhi that you are the man people say you are right, Because she I didn't be honest out of a hundred. What percentage was you trying to do something nice for a friend and what percentage was you trying to keep your image going and not look like a failure. Maybe combination of both. It could.

I think I think more people are motivated that way too. They have to save face, let me face the image, let me face the question. Had the guy said no, I couldn't get you a table, would you be more upset for horror not getting a table or more upset for you that should be a little but hurt. I'd be upset. Then I'm like, wait a second, where's the respect for me? So I hold on? Speaking of butt hurt my coach Jamie on our Walkers and Talkers podcast.

By the way, I don't know when you can listen to this podcast, but February ten is the return of the Walking Down. So on our last episode, which was like one thirty two, maybe I don't know. I think it's more than the last episode was. We recorded it first week of February. Um, she told us how she ripped her ass. She ripped ask like, like, well, she she legitimately injured her ass. She said, I ripped my my,

my ass. How do you rip an ask? Well, listen to the Walkers and Talking to split it in half. It's already in half. Well I didn't say she cracked it. Let me tell you the episode number, because it's a great story and I had a lot of fun with you know, innuendos not in her endos. Innuendos. You want to listen episode one thirty four of Walkers and Talkers wherever you listen to your podcasts anyway, So speaking, so okay,

so as I'm saying, who said you said? And I would have felt but her if they would have turned me down for the table, because because I really wanted it is more. It is more about you. So I just went right to it and I just hit the target and I said, listen, um, I need a table doing that. I need a table for you know, one of the new co hosts of our show, Elvis Rancho Um. Just so you know, you know, her name is Gandhi. She's the great. She's the great granddaughter of Mahatma Gandhi.

I think it's great, great, great she's and by the way, that's true story, that's fact. She's she is. She is the direct bloodline father's father's father to Mahatma Gandhi Maida Gandhi. Gandhi's her name boom So because I knew that just by pulling that card right away, pulled the Gandhi car, you pulled a historical figure. Yeah. Yeah, He's like, oh my god, we love to have her post her and her friends. So then she didn't even she should have

said see who she was. She wouldn't have needed you, but I wanted to do it for her as a reinforcement. Now here's the You're a descendant of Anthony's five generations of Anthony, he thought, so. So she's still to this moment doesn't know that I played the Gandhi card. She thinks that I got into this restaurant. She could have played the Gandhi cause she could have done it, but I and what they're going hung a strike. Then she

couldn't have dinner. No, but she tells me she's she thinks to this moment that it was a Scary Jones thing, like, oh, scary Jones, of course we've got a table for your friends. No, it was more like, by the way she's at at baby Hot Sauce on all social media, feel free to let her know. No, don't. Please, don't. This is a stickle between us. Let her hear the podcast. All right, Well, tell he'll listen to the podcast. Tell her to listen to episode seventy two, right, don't tell the way. I

just say she has to listen. Send her a link if you want, make it easy for you. I don't care a little. Listen. Let her find it. And if you, by the way of your descendants of any other historical figures, uh, let us know. I'd like to know. Yeah that maybe scary can use that to get a table for him by saying he knows you a descendant of let's say, Abraham Lincoln. But people use all kinds of stuff to get in. Doctors use it. Hi, I'm a doctor. Can

I get a table at this restaurant? Hi, I'm a surgeon? Um? Oh, we've an airline pilot here every day. Everybody uses their cloud. By the way, if you're a doctor, like a philosophy, you don't get a table, you'll be like you got the dr in front of No. No, no, because they reason they give you, they'll let you in there as a doctor, so that if somebody gets sick, right, no, God, from this you have like oh, you have elite people there. You have like a doctor a case of emergency. Anybody

is there a philosopher in the house. Nobody does that. Anyone want to talk about the existential value of meat? No? Then why did doctors even get a preferential treatments? No, you're no, no, no, no. What about a dentist if you have a dds in front of your name, if you have someone chips at tooth, it happened. They all do it. Though. You don't have to be famous. I'm sorry, really, dentist, come on? No, but athletes, I understand why they got it.

They want the publicity of having a famous person there. What if you work for the Board of Health? Definitely not for the Board of Health. You get the best table? No, you know, we're sorry, we're at a tables. If they don't come in, they can't rite, they can't rate you. I would think you wouldn't want to piste those people off. No, you're talk about food critics. The food critics get the best table. No. If a Board of Health guy comes in and is a hair on his plate your aft,

I wouldn't mess with those people either way. They don't have a badge that's his Board of Health. But they do. They don't like, Hey, I want a table. I worked for the Board of Health. I've always wanted to say that I worked for a food critic, like there was that company Critical work for food critic company like Zagat. Zagat is a company that criticizes food. And they know that they critique food. They can criticize it. They criticize it.

And by the way, it's all listener reviews. It's not yeah, but yeah, but you're hired by them to go in there to write for the survey. You're by the way, it is count It's not zagosk. It's the GAT. I don't even know if it exists anymore. It's the Maroon book which was later online by The Maroon book was not the boring band who player they halftime show? It was bought by Google. And then now I would have

rather watched a Maroon book that the halftime show. It was Yeah, so it was as the GAT is a book that you look up a restaurant, it tells you a rating of on the Google sold it to infatuation. So now it's really screwed up. It's messed up. Anyway, I'm following this. I'm a foodie. But anyway, point is I would love to have been one of those people and then say, well you can't get me a table. Okay, all right, we'll just so you know I'm gonna be

criticizing your food one day. Give me the bad time slot. Okay. Someone has has told some kind of power trip. You need not mean that. Every I'm just you're not hearing me out. I hear you. Everybody, everybody needs to needs a leg up to beat the system. Haven't you ever had that in your life where you want to just beat the system? You want to just I'm laying a beat in the system. You want to play the car No, no, but you want to be able to play a card. Everyone has a card to play in life. Oh yeah,

but you know what, you know, it's funny. So if we you guys have made fun of me for years for playing the Elvis Durrai. But here's the thing, when's my card? Whenever we go somewhere that's not show related, to a city that doesn't have our show on, that's a problem. That's a problem for you because they don't. When we went on the Norwegian Cruise Line ship Sponsor, we flew to Los Angeles, right, and then we we uh we uh we had to get on the ship and then we got off the shop. You know we

what we we took a cruise to nowhere, right. We went out for a a couple of days, came back. So we spent like two days in Los Angeles. Well, the other straight morning show is not on in l A. And so we had to go to restaurants like normal people. But that's when you play the heart radio card because they have that long Yeah, you were like, oh, I work at Kiss FM. You can you tried that routine? You don't have a business card. That's his kiss in l A. I'm just but but it's not just about us.

I'm saying that that everyone has to have something that gets them something else in their town. It could be you know, your job, your job, your profession, maybe your status in your little city. But your uncle is the is the is the sheriff, the mayor. You know, I know my cousin is mayor of this town. That's great. Listen, it gets you free ship, it gets you top priority wanted to be And I don't even want free stuff. I just want whoa whoa whoa. If we always want

free Ship. I know I get that, but my main priority is just being you guys just want to be able to just sucking with the jingles lately. You didn't play my crib enthusiasm music last week, and now you're not playing free Ship for us. But we don't have anything to showcase. I'm just saying how we like free ship for us that we're talking about it. I said the words, and you're like, we played the jingle when we got free ship right. Nothing people, By the way,

l J. L J is one of our listeners. Uh he claimed he sent me a shirt like three weeks ago. I still don't have it, LJ. What's up with either lying to me or you've got the address wrong? You for cock did something it alright, cocked it up? So anyway back to you, Brodie, you're scratching your head, you're scratching your temples, like yeah, I just I feel like, uh, I feel like Gandhi needs to know what you did.

That's all. I just let's call her right now. You can tell her call us all right for yet about it. Don't tell her to listen to the podcast. We'll call her right after this. What are you doing over there, Brody, are you sick? You better not be getting sick. Oh, speaking of sick, we have an intern named Joe. Joe is like six seven irrelevant to the store, of course, you know, irrelevant. Oh yeah, you look, did you play basketball? You have to be that guy. I was that guy.

Did you play basketball? Because he's tall? What do they ask short people if they ride off their jockeys? Did you guys ride your red horses? He's sick, you're catching what he has? No So he sick, text her to pick up her phone. Could be napping. Do you think she's sleeping? Joe sniffled right, and he's like ten feet away from gregg Te's desk, and he's like, I'm not getting six stair away from me. So then Joe walked over to him and he's like, hey man, I'm not sick.

I just sniffled for a second. So he so Gregg he put down caution like police tape and split the room in half and said he can't cross that half of the right. Oh that is that what that caution tape was on the floor. But like, that's not that's not gonna prevent the germs from right. The germs don't caution tape. He's such an idiot. Did you text her? I texted her to pick up the phone. I told her it was us calling. Um. Yeah, we don't make edits to our podcast. That's why you're hearing all the

raw stuff. You're hearing. Brody blows nose. We're real and me fumbling with the phones. Here comes, We're real. Are we gonna call your your girlfriend today? You know, not today, because I'm gonna call somebody. You have to call somebody. She's sleeping. We'll get it later. What was she went vegetarian? You know? Um? You know that right? She she went vegetarian? Well she turned she's you know she turned it turned? Yeah, people, that turned vegetarian. What's her reason for that? No, she's

apparently sympathetic animals all of a sudden. Oh man, But like our whole life. I understand. I know in her religion, aren't they cows are sacred. She's in the end. I understand that. But that's but she's not even other me too? What do you mean that follow up? She will be this weekend? Oh, because her boyfriend's going away to the navy. One last hurrah Man. She is avoiding us like the plague I think she knows that she's not. She doesn't trust us. Oh man, I hate this new phone system

cannot be completed? What am I calling? Peter Lugers? Yeah, your number number can't? Things? Are happy about it? All right? Um? I will say something that that I have an issue with, and that is um, people who review things on Amazon. If you've ever been on Amazon dot com, as you meant me, people of buy stuff from there. I don't know, kind of a little website. It's gonna be popular one day.

People review products and three stars and the whole thing collates into like four stars, three stars, three and a half whatever the average is. All I could tell you is read between the lines. Folks, don't ever take an Amazon review at face value, like an actual the star rating, because when you break down the reviews, it actually is is a terrible thing. Because this wax paper that I bought, I just needed wax paper. You know, wax paper is brody.

What's waxper adult? What's wax paper? You tell? Because here's it's the point to this good what's wax paper? So you know how you have like a roll of tinfoil or aluminum foil, Right, it's paper thin? Paper made of a waxy substance that might clear. You might put it on top of a baking sheet. If you don't have to stick. Wrong, you're just as bad as the hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm not saying to put in

the oven. You put wax paper down. If you're rolling out flour and you don't want to stick, you can. You can use wax paper on the table. You can roll dough on it. I use wax paper. I put chicken cutlets down on the wax paper before I fry. Then I use wax paper for things at face value. Oh, here comes Gandhi face value? What hey, Gandhi, let's answer a phone. We want to touch you on the Brooken Boys podcast. Is it safe to talk? Yeah, you gonna answer your phone? Are you naked? Are you naked? Well,

I'm not. This isn't FaceTime. But okay, we're gonna call you in like three minutes. Okay, no, hold on now, Okay, I'm gonna call you now because and then we gotta get back to this thing. Hey, I'm gonna include you on something a wax paper in the oven. No, but that's the whole point. What's what's your story? The caller again, Um, we're scattered today. No, but this is extra scattered. Can we can we hit the he said, but on this fucking thing. Get her on the phone. Hold on, let

me get her on the phone. Things are not fooling into place the way they usually do. I was really needed her there, but we've moved on. Hold on, Okay, here she comes. Brodie just walks out of the room. He's got the attention span of a goldfish. He just walked out of the room. Gandhi, Scary and Brody, Hey, listen. Brodie looked out of the room. He's really his mind is drifting today. But anyway, UM, so well, I'll tell

you what's happening. Um. I made a stunning admission on the podcast, and then earlier in the podcast we told the listeners what it was and then said, oh, you know what, let Gandhi know what Scary admitted, because it has to do with you. I will be pissed because he got credit. Rest of all, he did you a favor. Did you a favor? You had asked for a favor a while back and maybe a couple of weeks ago now, and I came through and took the credit for it. But I went about it in a very shady way.

But I haven't actually, I haven't said a word to anyone until just now, and it was on the podcast. So there's a couple of dimensions to this. Number One, I want to see if you're mad at him for what he did, and then if you're surprised whether or not like I am, about his thought process. So here's I'm gonna give you the back the back story. You asked Scary for a favor last week to get into

a restaurant. Yeah, okay, yeah, okay, well yeah, yeah, it's the same steakhouse where Scary didn't buy me dinner, okay, And I called you that night because I needed your help with something and you're like, oh, I'm that Delmonico's, And uh, I'm just I just got a table. Scary hooked me up. Yes, okay. So you're thankful for Scary, right that he did that for you, right, Yeah, it was awesome. They took care of us. It was dope. Okay, they took it, didn't take care of you. Right. Now,

here's the thing that's scary. Tell her how you got to the table. First. First of all, I was a little nervous even though that we know the people in there now, because I was nervous that we weren't going to get a table because they were fully committed. There was zero reservations anywhere and they had nothing that absolutely nothing. So and you were like, I really need this table because you know, but they're fully committed. So I said, you know, I'm gonna call I'm gonna call them up

for you. Right. Anyway, you went to the oldest restaurant in New York and arguably one of the best steakhouses in America with no reservation. What I'm saying, what were you thinking going there? And on a moment's notice. It was last minute, It was a week day restaurant week with They're offering deals at one of the greatest restaurants in New York. Of course it's gonna be like Tuesday Monday, because the New York City, the city that never sleeps. I don't know if you've got the memo on that,

but anyway, I called them up. I spoke to somebody there and then I said, listen, hey, it's scary, you remember us whatever, ha ha. But I didn't think that was gonna be enough, So I laid it all on the line right up front to the guy. I said, Hey, it's Scary Gandhi, our new co host who you haven't met yet. She's in town with a couple of friends. And she's a couple of friends in town. She needs

a reservation for tonight. I and and I know you guys already, you're fully committed and have no tables left, and it's restaurant week. But just so you know, your hair comes now, hold on a second, hold on Gandhi before he tells you this. I stopped him when he told me the story, and I said, let me ask you a question, Scary, and I want I want to

know what you think. He answered, okay, Scary if when you got her the table, were you happier for her or you because you lived up to the recommendation and the and the the reputation you have rather of being a guy who could hook you up like you must have been scared, right, And I said, would you have been more disap pointed for yourself or for her? If

they said no? So, based on what you know, I'm scary was out of a hundred, what percentage was he happy for you versus happy for himself that he got you to table. Um, I think happy for me, Like, at least, come on, I don't listen. Nobody wants their eagle bruised. So so at this point you think he hooked you up because he's scary Jones from the others try morning Shop. But here's where he took it a step further ahead, scared because I don't think I have

that much cloud. I said. Listen. By the way, she's the great granddaughter of Mahatma Gandhi. Okay, he name dropped your ancestor. And finally, I never told anyone. I didn't tell Tuesday on a Tuesday. Yes, I did my of a song. So but but first of all, are you what's your reaction to that? By the way, the man famous for a hunger strike helped to get you a

table at a steak restaurant. Okay, So first of all, I think it's hilarious because I was like gushing on something about like how dope s here he was and how he has all the connection and he got me in there like two point three seconds. It was like, no problem, just turned it around. I turned it around, right. But as it turns out, your great grandfather got you with the restaurant. Yeah, you could have gotten you could have gotten in yourself. Oh my god. But here's the thing.

I would never do that. I never used my last name. You've never played the Gandhi card. Never. Why do you think we hired you? Yeah? You got. You've got to apply yourself, girl. You gotta like your Look, my grandfather's Gandhi. Goddamnit. Here's what you do if you don't want to use if you don't want to use him, here's what you do. You go, Oh, you your name is Gandhi, like Gandhi. You go, Yeah, it turns out I have the same

last name as my great grandfather. And then it's you're not you're not really saying it, but you're saying it. But here's the thing. I don't do it because I didn't do anything that. I was just born into a family. So like, I don't know, I think it's kind of crappy to do that, whereas I would you. Hey, I'm a co host of the Elsa Barning Show a lot after because that's actually something you work for in your career, right, But there's like fifteen of us here, there's only there's

fifteen of us on the show. But only one descendant of Mahatma Gandhi. That's right, that's much more important. You You win, you win, you win the day. Now you have to think though, but I do it? Why is your phone sound like? Ash? Yeah, that's breaking up? Now, be honest? How many how many Gandhi great grandchildren are there who have the Gandhi name? Oh, I'll stop my head.

I don't know, but I want to say, like sixteen. Okay, let's say they should all be using this to their advantage of the sixteen of the sixteen no names, no names, no name, no first names, all the sixteen. Are you aware of any of them that do take advantage a little bit? Of course? Okay, see now you really got to do this more you've got. I'm telling you it

would gave everything. I can you imagine if Scary was a descendant of Christopher Columbus, that he would have a he would have a ship tattooed on his chin and be like, look, Dannina, I got d Nina. That's my that was my great great great great great great great grandfather right there. Oh, my god. And then would you pull up and kill all the natives and take all

of their things? He would actually do that, got Columbus. No, but okay, but but you're not upset with me for this, right, but but but he does get a little less credit admittedly, so right, oh yeah about myself in, I would give it Scary all the credits. I can't believe you got me. By the way, Gandhi has not been on our podcast. I think since episode thirty one, that's right, long before you worked here. Oh yeah, here I was in this case, Gandhi. I just want to conclude by saying I was all in.

I was like the guy at the World Series of Poker, and I said, I'm gonna use I'm gonna throw it all in right now. I'm gonna say who I am, where I'm from. And oh, by the way, the person that you're hosting tonight is the great granddaughter of Gandhi. Like boom, Like that was like a triple punch. Did you mention your calls to the Brooken Boys podcast. I'm gonna drop that. Next time you could drop that, you'll get a table right by the counter. They love I'm sorry,

they love you too. They were like, Rody Scary, we love you, guys, hang out, We're good. I was like Oh cool, that's awesome. All right, maybe that's where we should do our Okay, so I'm looking at our episode thirty one, which I was right. Look how sticks in my mind? Gandhi, your first episode on our podcast, you were in studio with us, episode thirty one, March fifteen. We're about a month away from the anniversary of your

first appearance in the Elvis Strand Family. This was months before, months before you started working with Elvis, months before I knew you were our next co host. But I knew you're our next cost We were rooting for you on that day when you were in studio. By the way, and listen to that episode, everybody, episode thirty one Gandhi. Before there was Gandhi pre Gandhi. But now listen. You listen in order, so you've already heard it. But go

back and listen to I'm sure everyone listening. By the way, I had a couple of listeners admit to me that they don't listen in order, and they that they're being bad listeners. And can I can number seventy and now can I make a confession while we're making confessions, Gandhi, I'm embarrassed about this, but I want to make a confession, and we have listeners that cheat sometimes. M As you guys know, I watched all the late night talk shows every night or the next day, almost all of them.

I watched. I watched Colbert and Seth Myers and Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel Daily Show, uh, and I watched the first half hour of James Gordon. I said, I don't I I can't fit. I watched Samantha b and I watch all of them. Everybody. So when Fallon does his monologue at the end, he goes, give it up for the Roots, and then the roots play, and then he walks over to his desk and does like a desk bit. I have to admit this. Most nights, I don't give it up for the roots. Yeah, I'm gonna. I want to

admit that. I want to. I want to get that off my shoulder. I want to unburden myself. I just want to let you know. I I when I met him, I told him he was on the show. I said, hey, man, I give it up to the roots every night. I don't. I don't know. I don't always Sometimes I just go, oh, there's the roots. Yeah, So that's it. I'm that's it. So Gandhi, thank you very much for stopping by the podcast. You like me a little less. You think I'm a

little less cool, No, don't. I love you. By the way, he may use your name to get into a club this weekend for myself. Yeah, yeah, can I get bottle service? My friend Gandhi might show up if I had a table, private table. I don't know if you know she's a great granddaughter of Mahatma. You guys have right to do it. I'm just saying I'll ever do it. Okay, right, we may use you. Yeah, we're gonna pump you up. You don't worry. Don't you worry. I get you baby hot sauce.

Thank you. Bye. All right, Okay, back to the wax paper thing real quick. What's your what's your? What's the point is? Okay, I was looking for wax paper. I wrapped stuff in it. I put it in the refrigerator paper. Right, So, this specific brand had one star and all these reviews on Amazon, and I'm like, oh my god, one star. I'm like, and I almost I was deterring me from buying it. I was going to go on to the next product, but I'm like, wait a second, and let

me do a little digging here. How can this thing have one star? People were reviewing the freaking thing saying, oh my god, I put it in my oven and it was smoking, and it was smoking up and and and it was terrible and it burned my my thing. Listen, that's not wax paper. That's called parchment paper. Parchment paper and wax paper are two different things. They look alike, but parchment paper is made for three four hundred degree temperatures in an oven. Wax paper is not putiful. Are

fucking moron? I googled best wax paper and I got results from Google. That's a parchment paper. Hold on, They're not the same thing here, it is. What is the different between wax paper, And by the way, this is why you listen to this podcast. While while parchment paper can do anything wax paper can, it's more expensive. The

main differ between papers is their respective coatings. Parchment paper is coated with silicone to give it a nonstick heat resistance service, and wax paper is coated with a soybean or paraffin wax that's correct, which, by the way, smokes in your oven. So all these idiots that were reviewing this wax paper. We're using it as parchment paper, and unfortunately, the poor fucking product got one star. I give this a bad review. For this candle, it melts whenever I

light it. Can you believe this ship I've got? I was angry, So I'm just My overlying thing here about Amazon is if you see something with one or two stars, don't necessarily write that product off. Go into a couple of the reviews and see what these people are saying. Nine out of ten times it's some schmuck who's using it for the wrong thing, or they don't know how it works, or they can't figure it out, you understand, I understand. So it's usually so it's usually not a problem.

It's usually not a bad it's not a bad product if they're fucking using it for the wrong thing. Right, This got me so angry. But here's the thing. I don't even have any stock in this wax paper company. It's wax, right, Wax melts, yes, by definition of the it's wax in the name. It's probably not good on the heat. Yeah, so you put your fucking cookies in the oven four hundred degrees whatever. This ship is gonna fucking smoke up. That's what aluminum foil is for my friends.

Thank you. That's concluding our segment. But parchment paper, yes, I'm all have a pain for Partchsman paper rather aluminum foils here. You know what you're bougie paper, bougie paper. Brodie's got something to say about Amazon. Speaking of bougie, I was gonna I would say about Amazon. All right, we'll do that coming up next, all right, and I'm gonna talk about bougie Okay, can I talk about bogie now? So was gonna say, don't hashtag paper boogie if you

don't spell boogie right? Then I was reminded, Mark, who you know, a good guy like you, I'm not mad at you. If I make a typo and I switched the G and the end because I'm typing quickly, right, that's not a spelling error. That's not a grammatical error. That's a typo. Right. If I spell would wrong or I used the wrong there, that could be a voice text problem could be but I'm good on the grammar. Okay, alright, So now what what's this bougie thing that you wanted

to get to? Is that it no that was it. You have paper boogie. Oh, I'm just gonna say, spell boogie, right, that's all? Okay, how do you spell bougie? How do I? Is it b o u g I E? Right? Not? According to me, Gos and little USI vert with the song bad and boogie, bogie spelled b o u j e e. Um. Yeah, but but boogie is not spelled that way, is it? Well? I don't know they spell it that way b o u j E bad. Yeah, you're right, yeah, cooking up dope with a newsy anyway. No,

you know what. It's also stylized as b o U g I E. I guess it's a it's short for bourgeoisie. I was right. Well, I don't know what. They spelled something a different way. It's not mine. He almost had any no speaking Amazon. This is a two part rant, So I feel like I'm gonna give you part of the rant because Amazon was the key to winning with my gas company. Wait, hold on, what started yet? I'm sorry last time I forgot I figured I okay, here it's two. Oh, can I tell you something? We'll spiguring

of this music. I want to tell you something speaking this music, I think from the from the from the State of the Union. Hilarious. You said, so okay, so let me set the stage and you'll do your punch line and I'll tell the story. Okay, go ahead. So State of the Union. Uh, I watched it for work purposes. I normally watch it, but I watched because I had to watch it. So one of the cutaways, Uh, tell him what was going on? Though un important? The president

was talking about important. The President. There's the reason why they had to cut. The President said something that was I'm want to say, untrue but also very offensive to someone with political beliefs like Bernie Sanders. You're you're totally sugarcoating this thing. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter for the podcast. I'm just saying into politics. I'm not getting into politics. I'm reiterating what he said. That president was

going through. My president was attacking socialism. Yes, okay. First of all, okay, now you've got me talking politics. First of all, no one ever said America was gonna be Okay, no, but not what the point is the punchline. He made a statement and said, we will never be a socialist society, and all of a sudden, the camera cuts to Bernie Sanders, it was a democratic socialist, which is not socialism, but I know, but the right, But I'm just saver. Chose the TV cut, decided to cut to him anyway. He

like he was sucking lemons. He was, like said, the sour look on his face, and all of a sudden, the camera didn't cut back, it kept it kept focusing in on him, and then it zoomed in slowly. And I'm thinking in my head, why right, I'm playing right now? Right? It was so fucking funny. Right, So the next morning you came in, told that story how you thought they should have the curb enthusiasm music, And what I told you was the night before Live Late Show it Stephen

Colbert was live. They showed that clip and they put in the music, put in the music. Great minds think alive. Right, Why couldn't w could you tell the story the way it was, because there's nothing to do with policy as it was, it was irrelevant what he said. It was that he said something that bothered Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders doesn't want to be upset because the one yeah, I'm upset, medical all, I'm gonna sit here on my face. He looked like he was just finished chewing a Bernie. Bernie

was not happy. Bernie, you know what. Bernie looked like his soup was cold in the delis and he had to send his soup bad. He looked like Larry David too. Oh my god. Okay, that that that I was pissing my pants. Anyway, I feel like this the Amazon rant is part of the gas company rant, and I feel like you're stifling me by telling me I can't do both. Do them both? I don't give a fuck. Or I could do the time zone problem god or the condecisive bastard. I do the car dealership one I got probably do

we just finished talking about. Let me tell me. Okay, so for whatever, have a washer and dryer in my basement and the drawer. The way it works is it heats stuff obviously, but there's a very thin belt. It's like a like a like a car. You open up the engine. Is those belts that right that turned everything. There's a very thin belt that goes around the drum. And if you put a little too much in the dryer, the belt snaps. Okay, my daughter put the clothing it

was too wet. She took it out of the machine too soon. The washing machine put in the dryer overloaded the drying the things snapped. Okay, all right, I have a contract with the gas company to fix stuff. But the way it works is they come to your house and if they have the part, they fix it right away, no charge, because you pay a small fee every month. It's a good's a good deal. But if they don't have the part, they have to order the part and the suns of bitches will not overnight apart, you have

to wait three to five business days. Well, of course, the dryer broke on a on a Thursday, whatever it was, so the guy. The guy came on a Thursday, right, I broke on a Tuesday, shows up on Thursday. I had to beg for an appointment because it was cold and they were all doing heat repairs. I get it. So they come on Thursday. They don't have the part. They don't have the part, So now Thursday it's three

to five business days. So Friday one day, Tuesday, Wednesday, dare I'll look at it two weeks before I get damn thing fixed. So I say to the guy, UH, could do me a favor if I get the part. It's ten dollars on Amazon. If I get the belt, you guys install it, goes yeah, I don't you do that. You'll get the part sooner and then when our part comes in three if I business days, you'll have a backup, like all right, great, here's here's the model number whatever.

I know the model number my unit. I look online. I find the part number. He confirms it. He says, no problem, will install it. Just get to make sure it's the official part. Yeah, of course, no problem. So he leaves. I ordered the part Thursday and it's overnight. It's one day delivery. Because it was Thursday, like six o'clock, they were gonna come back. I mean it was the next day because it was probably from a Jersey factory. So I called the gas company. I say, hey, I'm

gonna have the park tomorrow. Can you come tomorrow? Being Friday? Well, when you get the park, cause s all right, the part's gonna be here. How about we make it for Saturday. I got the part coming from Amazon overnight prime, one day prime. I'll have to part on Friday. Come Saturday. Uh, call us on Friday and we'll make you try to make the point for Saturday or Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday. Like, all, I'll have the part Friday. I get the alert on my phone. Up the parts in New Jersey. Great. Again,

an alert, it's on the truck. You'll be there before five o'clock. Great. Then I get an alert that says, uh, your part's been uh temporarily delayed. The truck has been delayed. Okay, says wait for more updates. Sorry, wait, no part. It says it will be arriving later today, sorry for the late shipment. Late late, late, late late. I don't get it. It's not coming. I don't I don't know where. So so I call Amazon Amazon ASAI told you, it's great Amazon.

You you go to the customer right, you go to the you go to contact us, and you choose, you choose, you choose, call me now, yes, okay, So they call me. I get Sue on the phone. I assume not her real name, and uh, I said, uh, I'm waiting for the part, like there's no part here. So she says, we just sent another alert. I get an alert on my phone. I check it ahead and looked. It says your part will not be arriving today. Uh, part is uh not locatable? It's your part. It's so so track

on this damn thing, right, I go. It was on the truck. So, so I said, where's my part? I gotta have it tomorrow Friday. Uh, yeah, you'll have to Nope. Let me look look look like she uh, your part is missing? So I said missing? What does that mean? Right? This is what she says to me. She says, you know like lost lost. That's what I did. I called a third world nation because I need a synonym for missing. What I say, what is missing mean? I mean? What

does you mean? What is the corporate definition? Does that mean you can't find the truck but it's coming, or you can't find the part? What does that mean in terms of what you're gonna read deliver? Are you gonna ship out a new part? She tells me. Was it on the back of the milk cartons? Missing? So? I said, what do you mean by missing? She says, you know lost? Are you kidding me? Thanks? Mrs. English is a third language. I don't need you telling me. What are the words?

Do you missing means lost? Sir? Does that so? Fuck you? So f you? Sue? So? I said, Okay, I don't really need you to tell me, what missing means thank you? I know it means lost. I know lost means missing. What does that mean in terms of me? Sue? And I had that Sue like quote unco like that quote unquote Sue, but I should have sued. And she says, oh, you're gonna have to order it again after it was on the fucking truck. So I said, I needed the

part today if I order it again. Now keep in mind, it was one of those trick Amazon things where it says overnight delivery for one day prime free, but when you click on it, it says with uh appropriate order thirty five dollars or more right, or you can pay It's like you know what it's and three nine, so it's like fourteen bucks. I paid the three nine. Why don't I think you ended up with two parts? Hold on,

so I saw him. I get off a fourteen dollars effort overnight depart So she says, you can, will will refund, you'll order it again. I said, well, here's the problem, Sue. It was the last one left at the other one was fourte for the same part, and I paid three nine overnight shipping. Yeah, oh, well, we'll refund the shipping. No, no, no, I also not have to pay five dollars more for the other part for the other company. Something tells me you need even more money than she Well, what would

you what? What? Well? What what what do you? What would you want? I said, Well, I want my back and my three back, which roughly is fourteen dollars minus two pennies. I get it, and I want the four four ninety nine for the more expensive part. And now I don't have to part. I have another day, at least at least before I get the next the next repair opportunity I want. Okay, that's so, she says, Okay, yes, a happy ending. So a little free free to stdn't come.

So here's the best part. The next day the part shows up. Of course it does, and then two days later the repairment the patman shows up, fixes it. Everything got done on time for a change, and then after he leaves, the part from the gas company shows up that they ordered. I got an extra part, extra money five dollars. Boh, yeah, but now we've learned a valuable lesson. Missing means lost. I love it. All's world that ends. Well,

I didn't see that. Turns that that was a twist, Well did try to screw You're gonna sell the second part on Anybay and make even more money. I'm gonna return it's Amazon now because I still have the purchase that I made. The purchase fantastic. Who's been one or the other? You got it? You know, I'll probably keep it for the next time, so tell me three to five days. But anyway, see f you sue missing um

like she didn't want to embarrass me. She's like in case, She's like, oh, this poor man doesn't know what missing means. There's like, yeah, it's like, um, you know it means it means lost. Oh, thanks, thank you, thank you. Huh, look what you've learned in the five years you speak English? I'm assuming anyway, there you go. Un us jokes. I think it's time. Well off set now this is a happy end. But he's no, you didn't let me rant about the gas company. I had to beg for all.

I had to beg for a week to get super I'll tell you that next episode. I'll have to now let me go. I'm use jokes. Greg T got lipos suction a couple of weeks ago, a month ago, whatever. It was a couple of months ago and he's just about healed up now, and so he did. He came in here modeling a Valentine's Day speedo. So he came in here basically naked, and uh, he didn't look good. He looked kind of flabby here and there because he

didn't get light bo everywhere. He said, you can't get light bo and your gut or whatever whatever it is, he's got like light bo proof gut. So my joke was that always didn't do was Gregg he puts the sucks in lipos suction. All right. We did Vi Brad Races. We have a track with with wooden lanes and we have vibrators that vibrate down the track and each of the vibrators represented a football team in the Super Bowl,

and the Red Patriot vibrator one. But Alvis wanted a name for the race, and I said, how about the instead of the Indie five hundred, the in Me five hundred. He didn't do it. That's an opportunity missed. We did a story about a bunch of supermodels, I think something to the effect of supermodels. We're gonna open up an amusement park, and Elvis was like, oh, what kind of rides would they have there? And I did, how about it's a size small after all, or it's an extra

small world. He wouldn't do those. We did a story about a dog that ate a lightbulb and I said, well, she wasn't too bright. He wouldn't do that. That's cute. We had a caller who said she was born our mother took a sperm donor and and uh, and then just took a donation of sperm from some sperm bank. And so my question was, I asked if she sleeps in a cup? He wouldn't do it. So I gave him a second joke, and I said, do you collect turkey basters? I wouldn't do it. And finally Alvis was

talking about how he's not really into sports. He's looking for a sport, some sport he might like. Doesn't play baseball, doesn't play football. I said, you know what, you'd be good at, cornholing. I didn't do it. I had that one from two. He didn't do it. Yeah, I gotta look, I got the look. The corn corn hole is a good one. That's a great joke. Okay. And by the way, listeners were all also texting that into yeah, it's no brain up. But here's the thing. This is episode seventy two.

I'm gonna tease the head a little bit, he said, seventy three. I'm gonna talk about how you fucked me on our vacation already, and I don't mean, I don't mean in the sexual way. I may talk about the gas company, the full story. Oh, an email I got from someone uh in our company who doesn't understand how fucking time zones work. Oh and my mom will be on episode seventy three. And you know, not only are

we both from Brooklyn, but my mom's so Brooklyn. Dah boys Brooklyn, Brooklyn, naw Boys Brock Brooklyn,