#69: Insert Your Own Joke Here

this pods. You will taste the difference and how clean it is. You should be sitting on you know what. They're right, preach boys, they're not salty at all. Feltman's of Coney Island dot com. That's their website. F E L T M A N S of Coney Island. Maybe you want to go buy some off the website. You can get them out of Amazon. Yeah, but they're also now at Balducci's and Kings. I would go to any of those. I go to shop right they're available shop

right now. Now. We're winding up with Tailgate season, but you still have a few barbecues that you'd like to do in the wintertime. I'm gonna use I'm gonna use the expression. You hear it all the time. Now, right the big game, you get some Feltman's hot dogs, and get them now, because if you wait till the week of the Big Game, uh, you're not gonna get him. This is the real original Charles Feltman. He's got his name on it. He invented the hot dog back in

the eighteen sixties. I'm saying, get some catch up with it now. Also, they could sell out a catch up for the Big Game. Get it now, you want your mustard. Scary. I understand that Feltman's of Coney Island, dot com start dot up, start up, Brooklyn Boy, start up, Brooklyn buys dot dot up. They make a noise dot up dot up. Episode sixty nine. This is the Brooken Boys podcast. And we didn't plan that, by the way, we just knew

to do that. Okay. So in regards to episode a couple of people asked what they didn't understand the title, which you explained. And by the way, Bernie and I were debate eating the title of the episode back when we were naming number sixty eight, and and Brody said that should be the title, and I'm like, yeah, you do me, doing me, I'll owe you. Won you do me and I'll owe you. When I'm like, no one's

gonna get that. Some people got it, and some people, like I listened for the whole episode, I didn't get that you should do me. You you do me all you want? Reference, Right, Wasn't that something we're going, Oh, Scary, you're a twelve year old? Okay, So what Scary did was we have a thermostat in the studio here, right, And I know for a fact Scary does this in his car when he puts the heat on his car.

Any room he goes into, he changes the I didn't have to explain sixty eight first, but he changes the temperature to sixty nine and then you chuckle. It's cute. Say, if you don't know what sixty nine means or why he would put that on his on his thing, you probably aren't old enough listen to the podcast, ask mommy to explain, not to explain, because understand it. Okay, there's has it's a double Okay, it's a double entendre. It's a double entree as well. However, there's an old joke.

Oh yeah, you have to do sixty eight position and we go, what's that? It's you do me, I'll owe you one. And so in other words, you do what you gotta do to your partner. Well, well they do you rather, and you go, I owe you one. Right, So it's not quite sixty nine. You're one short of sixty nine. It's an old joke. Some people knew what, some people didn't. But if you go an urban dictionary and put in you know what is you know sixty eight,

that's a joke a bit for us. We should actually turn the thermostat up one degree with every episode from here on out, so by the end of the year, Will were sweating our asses off exactly not doing that, and I'll need it at that point. No, that's like when we had ninety eight degrees on the show and Elvis wanted the studio ninety degrees. That wasn't fun. Can you do do a podcast in a room that's a hundred degrees? No? No, no, you know, d degrees feels like, uh, remember back when

I was in the sauna with Will. Oh, that's okay in episode fifty good luck with the float chart for this episode. Back to that episode fifty, I got called on the carpet because I said, my mom was behind some episodes, and I jumped to that episode to I said, but my mom listened to order. That was the episode we're up to. So don't don't call me out on that. Well, episode fifty, when I was in with Will in the sauna, we had the sauna up to one hundred eighty degrees.

So that means if we were to sit here and do a show for an hour at a hundred degrees, I think we'd be able to hack it. It's not that we would be dead, it's that it would be uncomfortable. I'd be sweating and just I don't want that. But then you you know you're releasing toxins when you sweat. Okay, it's good for you to sweat. I heard Will told me that that the sauna is good for you. I get your your abdomen. Bodybuilding guy told you that I'm not doing that jacked. I mean, if this is what

he does, okay, you are? Is he jack because he works out or because you got to him? No, let me let me say this. Yeah, I should trust people that are in good shape. If I see, if I see a dentist with perfect teeth, I'm trusting that guy. No, you don't trust him, You trust his dentist. You know the old riddle. You walk into a small town and the two barbershops, and one barber has a crazy haircut, and and and and uh, and there's another barber has the perfect haircut. Right, his shop is his his shop

is clean, and and he has a perfect haircut. The other guy's shop is is messy, right, and he's got a messy haircut. What shop do you go to? Well, obviously you go to the one with the messy haircut because he's doing business. He's got a hair on the floor because he's got customers, and he did the hair right, and then most likely yes. But I'm just saying, if a guy, when it comes to the world of working out,

if a person is in perfect shape, I'm trusting that person. Okay, but I'm not going to turn the heat up in here to a hundred because you and will sweat into yourself with those shirts on. But I'm also not trusting DJ Valid when he's telling me to go on some weight loss program another ton. I mean, would you listen, he's got the he's got the what is the keys, right, A major key he doesn't have the major key to lose weight. He doesn't major key food, right, that's right.

He needs the major regional SUPERMARKETO major. He needs the key to the sundine can open up the fish. No, I would not trust him for dieting advice unless he was five hundred pounds and he lost it and he's down to you know, to eighty whatever. I'm just noting against DJE so as I'm saying, saunas are good for you. So let's turn up to freaking heating here, man, let's do it. Saunas are good for you in limited exposure, when you're not wearing clothing and you're in there for

ten minutes. Saunas are not good when you're fully dressed in a room trying to work and focus and be amusing hopefully. Uh no, not for an hour and a half, all right. I thought speaking of an hour and a half, our podcast was ninety one minutes I think last week. But it's at a hundred and fifty one. That is a glitch. Here's another thing. You're not getting another ninety

minutes today because we're on a time crunch. Were first of all, we have to go home and pack I got so much to do today Tomorrow to go to the Heart Podcast Awards Radio Podcast Awards, which as you know, we're nominated for. If you don't know the full story, you can go to our social media at David Brody and at Scary Jones or if you prefer at Scary Jones and at David Brodie, and of course that's on Twitter and Instagram, you'll you'll see the link to the story.

Interview we did for AM New York officially reached released in the paper. The physical paper today was online yesterday. So AM New York is a local New York and newspaper and they have a digital component which I go to every single day. That's no lie, every day. They have entertainment section, politics, news not a sponsor um. They have a transit section, opinion section, basically anything at all that you want to know about New York. It's your New York paper, right okay, and at website. And so

they did an interview with us on Tuesday. Uh, the pictures came out really nice. I thought, I think, I thought so too. I'd like to hire that guy and haven't followed me. He was, well, the photo credit has his name. We should get him. He was really good. He used the slimming filter. It was nice whatever that was Instagram, and so we had fun. Now I made a joke in the interview, and the girl had listened

to the podcast. She was a fan of the show, and she made a joke about putting the Brodian scary scary, seems to think. I went behind his back and went to her and said, I didn't hear you say it. I would have corrected, well, you can't listen to the audio because we don't have the audio of the interview, but she's sending us clips of the audio from the interview so that next week, on next week's podcast, we can play clips of it. Well, and I think we

were very funny, very slickly pulled her aside. And first Nope, I said, spell it David correctly, I'm not Dave, and I spelled Brody. Why did she put that little wise crack in there, because during the interview I said it's brody and scary. We were joking, and she said, no, I know, I listened to the podcast. So she decided in the in the story to write you want to get her on the phone next episode, only just I

only set up that interview. That was my context and my people, and I brought that to the embarrassing moment because I said, I go to AM New York every night. Um, sometimes the writing. The writing is always great, but sometimes they leave out dates. Sometimes they'll say, hey, it premieres next week. But if you don't know what week, then article went up Friday or Monday. You don't know if

it's next week this week. It's a little confusing. Sometimes they sometimes leave out like, oh, it's next week, shoes right. Happens a lot. So one particular time I tried, well, maybe twice I tracked down the writer of an article. I needed the information. Three times. You blame it on the intern No, I don't ever blame interns. The writer or the writer is the writer of the article. There about how it got on the air on our air,

you blamed our interns. What are you talking about. I'm just saying you're you're saying a couple of times you're about to tell a star. A couple of times I went and I tweeted at the writers of articles and said, hey,

you didn't say when the show is. You said it's on Tuesday, but you didn't say what Tuesday, and I don't know when the article went up because the article doesn't have a dated to tell you about this, this admission moment where you're about to tell elvits say, oh, if I make a mistake, Elvis knows it was my mistake, and a couple of times it's been because anyway, So that when the writer of the article came in, right, she said, oh, hi Brodi, I said, guy, it's just

you don't know if we haven't met, but you've tweeted at me that I've left out of articles. She knew me. Yeah, because you're a Scotch. She wrote, age have her name. We'll pull up her name real quick. Your name is Megan Giannata, Megan gian I think she's uh m e g h G I A right, because nice Jewish girl, far from it, far from Jewish, but very nice. So yeah, so we're flying out tomorrow and hopefully we'll come home with a piece of glass. Did we talk about the

upgrade fee? You're not? Why? Okay? So scary? Uh? And I got booked and we wanted window seats so we weren't gonna be sitting together and long, I gotta sit down for this. Here we go. Here comes Brodie's first moment where he gets terrail on me. I got, I gotta really a couple of times, Okay, I think I think you guys, I think the slices are gonna agree mostly with me. But we'll say, of course they're frugal. It's not about being Okay. So what airline are we on? United? Maybe? Yeah,

all right, good airline? Do we have a choice? Not a sponsor? And uh, speaking sponsors, We're gonna talk about sponsors in a minute, remind me. So we get our flight assignments are seat assignments were both by windows different parts of the plane. And I'm I don't know. The plane's got thirty rows. Maybe I'm in road twenty three, so I'm towards the back. Scary text me and he says, you gotta upgrade. You got for twurdion forty three dollars

round trip round trip, round trip three. You didn't say that. He said two ft three. It's about dollars each way go. You said two dollars. Whatever. It was upgrades in the front of the plane. You got an upgrade board, you got upgrade, you get on first, got up good. So I texted back. I said oh, that's a good price for first class to get to the front of the plane. And you said, no, no, not first class, just to get closer to the front so he can get on and off fast night. The front row of coach where

you have Have you ever seen rows seven seven? When the front row of coach, let me tell you about rose seven. That's the extra room. But I'll tell you what I don't like. You gotta use armrest screen. I don't want armrest screen, armrest tray. I want the tray in front of it. That's the trade off. I want leg room, and I want to be able to If I got the middle seat of that front row, it's

no problem because all three people. Nobody has to get it for anybody, because you get all that you got like you could fit like a huge freaking like a lot of room. Any No, I just I'm just saying it's worth every penny. On on a hold on on a six hour flight. We're going New York to l A. That's just looks a long flight. So I said, think you first of all, thinking it was first of all was one way, I said two and fifty dollars roughly,

because I'm sure they'll throw tax on. There is a lot to pay just to be closer to the front of the plane. As I like to say, you'll hit the mountain before I do. So that's terrible. What a But that's a lot of that's a lot of money to upgrade a seat, not in the first class. They're flying us out, they're flying us, They're paying for all this stuff. I feel if that's the only expense in my weekend, it's not gonna be. You're gonna want to go to a fancy restaurant. You're gonna drag me out

to a fancy I'm I'm a dr fat loss. I'm gonna eat conservatively and clean. That's fine. We can still go to a nice place so I can eat like a normal human beings. So I can sit there and want you. And that's the way it works. Maybe this is what I'm gonna buy you a steak dinner. This could be the moment by myself. By steak dinner. I'm gonna stare at you. Nothing. No one says I have to eat. That's no one said I have to eat. We will pay for it, all right, We'll have to

figure a nice steak place. Okay, night, though, I can go to a steakhouse. That's Saturday before the old concert we're going to. We gotta figure that out. I think Saturday we go to We're going to Alter Ego, which is I Heart Radio is big a rock concert. That's that's the night after that, Saturday night, right Saturday, which I'm not sure what you're gonna do there. There's like eight bands playing, and I don't think you know more

than like two songs by the Killers, Killers, Wheezer, weez Or. Yeah, you don't know Muse, you don't know the Views. I know a couple. Yeah, I wish I knew you when I was your honey one pilots. You'll like a couple of songs out listen, I know a few. I'm a you're gonna dress rock and roll chic for the alt rock consif alt rockets, I think I'm gonna go Brooklyn industrial Bok industrial set. But no but so yeah, so yeah, come at me, Bra with the plane thing. Sometimes I

worked every penny. Yeah, you know what we're gonna take. I'm gonna take that two hundred forty three dollars plus tax, and I'm spend it on something that I need. I think some of our listeners would agree that they would pay that that's fine if they have the extra money. I get feel like I feel, especially if you're not paying for anything else about the flight. If I had money to burn, I'd like it's a semi decent investment. We're not paying for the hotel, we're not paying for

the flight. Doesn't give me more money in my bank account. So you you think differently. You go, well, the flight's free, I'll pay to forty. No, I'm thinking the flights free. And if I pay to for you, the flight's no longer free. So I don't look at it that way. I'm a I'm a glasses half full guy. Yeah, I'm I'm a glass with a crack, and but I can't

afford new glasses. I'm gona use glass to cracking it anyway all day, all day, you sit there in the back of the plane and smell the bathroom ship whatever I'll spend them. You know what I'll do. I'm gonna take two dred and forty three singles on the plane and I'm just gonna keep counting them. I'm gonna smell that money. You're gonna know that what else can I buy? Two dollars. That's how I do. It's gonna buy feel free. You get to hang out in the back of the bathroom,

doesn't matter. And I'm gonna be watching movies. We have all the movies from our sag Aftra. We're in the Union. We have all the movies that were nominated. I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna watch maybe Vice on the plane. Good luck on bringing in your carry on and finding some some overhead compartment space. In one you're in group for talking to David Brody from the Brooken Boys podcast. You'll be in the back. I'm gonna go with you because you're

gonna say we're traveling together. You'll be great. If you applied for a T s A pre so that's what you can get here. If there's any T s A agents, by the way, that's not redundant. A is not for agent. If there's any T s A agents working that day, I'll be thrilled this stupid government shutdown. Those poor bastards have to work for free, and I hope they're in good spirits. God willing will get on a plane and no one will bring a bomb on the plane, So I'm not worried about I just want to get on

the plane and getting land safely. Okay, and we're gonna fly out of this mess because a big storm is coming here. Oh New York. We're gonna miss that, thank god. Yeah. Uh so when we mentioned sponsors, let's get this out of the way, we went, okay, oh god, yes, this is the big Is this the pink elephant in the room? This pound grill. This is the eight hundred pound pink elephant gorilla that had sex with each other. And there's a elephant gorilla. There are things that are beyond our

control that you must know about. Let's pull back the curtain, Brody, before we go further with any entertainment. This is suddenly not becoming a This is becoming quickly a not film, film and hot dog podcast. This is a little it's information formative. It's not comedy. But alright, so let's just

tell everybody. For for the first sixties seven episodes, we would upload our podcast to uh server owned bike let's say company A. Yeah, just a company A. And then we would we would we would do our commercials for Feltman's and the State company. We did all the things, popcorn whatever, and that would all be live and all

recorded together and it would go up and done. And our company has signed a deal with a great new company that has a lot of functionality and features and cool things and their own sales staff and their own sales staff and what they are able to do, which you may have noticed. Uh, I keep I keep in mind scary and I have to get better at verbally allowing for spaces for these ads. Uh, they're going to

put ads in. For instance, our old, our old way of doing things was we would do a commercial for the Oma Stakes, which would not a sponsor anymore, and we would say, oh, Father's Day sale. But then like six months later you'd go back to the podcast and that it would be a Father's Day commercial. If you listen to a year from now, you're like, oh, it's Father's Day again. There must be a You might be hearing this right now looking for a Feltman's hot dog

at Baltucci's. But next thing you know, uh that they don't sell them there anymore a year, a year from now when you're hearing this. So this new company has this great technology that allows them to put in the commercial digitally after we're done with the recording and we post it and then replace that commercial when its it expires with with a new, updated commercial, which is good

for you as the consumer because you're not hearing outdated commercials. However, if they don't have a commercial, if they haven't sold the inventory meeting those spaces that they've allotted now in our podcast, they will place a placeholder, which could be a promo for another podcast. So you might be hearing some filler, you know, in a little bit when wee that button, when we say you know what, we're gonna

talk about what happened to Chinese restaurant? Right after this, there'll be a commercial we haven't heard, possibly or a promo. Now it may sound like the podcast switch, don't freak out, it's an ad for another podcast, is the flip side of that is Hopefully going forward, our podcast promos will be on other people's podcasts, so that will help out. Yeah, you might be listening to another podcast and our promo. Thank you in advance for enjoying and accepting the new situation.

But just know that we have to leave these spaces for this new company's salespeople to give them a chance to put commercials in those spots, and if they don't we're gonna hear promos, right and we have no control over that. And by the way, as we're recording this and when we listen back, we don't even know. We don't know what commercials are going in there. Sometimes we will, sometime we will, but not right now, we don't. It's so they at least until they sell them. If it's

just a promo, we don't know the problem. These are just pre arranged slots that we have to make. Sorry about that in advance, but just know that we love you anyway. Just technology, and it really is good for us career wise because it's gonna put our promos, you know, the people in their podcast and and branches out a little bit. As Martha Stewart once said, it's a good thing. Yeah, speaking of good things, I want to give a little

free dessert story if I might. Amazon Prime. Uh not during the holidays, but between Christmas and New Year's I ordered a digital scale to weigh things. You know, I sell stuff on eBay, which, by the way, eBay is one of my many rants today and talk about eBay. I order a digital scale to replace the digital scale that broke. I order the same company scale, a newer model and Amazon Prime. It's two days, right, order it

on a Wednesday, you get it on Friday. I'm like, great, I have like six things on eBay that are about to come forward that I sold. Uh that bids on I'm gonna need to weigh them. I need this scale. I ordered the scale Wednesday. No scale Thursday, no scale Friday, Saturday, Sunday shows up Monday. How convenient to them? Yeah, so I go, I pay for Amazon Prime. I know Jeff Bezos going through a tough time going through a divorce. Uh,

but I want my scale. So I called up Amazon and I get a very nice gentleman from who knows where in the world, and he says, uh, you know, terribly sorry. Uh, we want to make you happy. I said, yeah, well, I don't feel like paying full price for the scale. It took four days. I had to keep my customers waiting. I was trying to ship stuff. He says, you're absolutely right, full refund on the scale, full refund, boom good. So I didn't even ask for free dessert. That's a company

that gets it. I love Amazon when they ship my stuff on time. My pants ship my pants, that's all throwaway. I just wanted to give Amazon some props. Um they're speaking of selling things, I want to talk about exercise bike. So you know, it's that time of year when you buy an exercise bikes. Everyone's buying. They're going to gym's exercise bike. So one of my kids says, hey, you've got a gift card for a couple of different stores that sell exercise bikes. Why don't use your gift card

on an exercise bike. I'm like, they're like four, I know there's some less don't tweet me. So as I don't want to use my three hundred all gift card on an exercise bike, then I gotta pay another hundred and fifty. So I go on Facebook and I see that you know, everyone's selling their exercise by because you know, everyone buys exercise equipment, and they put the Nordic track

right in the basement and leave it there. Right, you get the bow flex, use it for a week, and you're like, I gotta go right, Like gym membership's good, then February whatever, right, Okay, shake weight, you know, okay, I'm keeping my shake weight. So everybody sells their gym equipment in January while everyone's looking to bid gym equipment.

So I look at this post and it's a woman in um Central Pennsylvania, which is too far for me to go anyway, But I see she's selling an exercise bike and I recognize it because it looks like another one I was interested in the me it's the same model. Now she hasn't listed as a s c h w e r I N squaring s c h w e r I N Like, I've never heard of that. So I I zoom in on the picture, really zoom in because I know the bike. I know it's a model

number two thirty. I know what it is is. But I'm like, maybe maybe it's a knockoff, right, And I zoom in and there it is s h w I n N schwinn s. So I email the woman right through Facebook and I say, I say, I just want to be clear and if it helps you out right, I think your bike is a Schwin s h w I n N not grammar policing her. I'm just letting her know it's a Schwin. And she said right, and she says, no, I'm sorry, it's a Schwaron and she writes the okay, and I said, hey, a couple of things.

I'm I'm I'm just trying to help you out here. Number one is no such bike as a Schwaron. I googled it. Number two, the famous bike company is Schwinn. And number three I zoomed in on your picture. It says she went on the side, so you know, if it'll help you sell the bike. Good luck to you, Happy New Year, And she writes back, Oh, I'm sorry if we're not all as small are as you are. No everything, what a bitch, I'm trying to help you jump bumpkin ass. And you're like, you're telling me it's

a swearing. She's you know what, she's missing out on clicks because he's gonna search for swearing. No one's searching for swearing. Did the fucking things salad? But you's still up there. Well, you know what I'm gonna look for see if there's a swearing. By the way, you need the phone number the Stakhouse. Oh yeah, we gotta call. This is gonna be all our listeners have been calling. They can't get through. You get through witness. And if if you don't, if you don't know what we're talking about,

we're talking about Peter Luker Steakhouse in Brooklyn. Brody's been trying to make a reservation there since before Christmas, trying to get in there. And every time he calls, no matter what part of the day it is, it's busy, and I'm convinced they keep their phone off the hook. But I think we're gonna see if we can call them now. If we get through, what are we gonna say? I try to make a resident, you have a date, date, we'll beat it out so that okay, I'll give you

the phone number. You see if they're around. It's a weekly call to um Steakhouse. Let's do it right now. Give me just to finish my story. If you search for Schwinn on Facebook swap shops, the swearing doesn't come up. But I'm gonna see if the Schwarin is still still available. Why can't people take constructive criticism? That's what I want to know. You're helping the woman out right. I'm saying she's losing. Does she not realize how much she was losing?

They're busy. I don't think they I don't think they want to do business. I don't know, man, how do they book preservations these days? There's got to be another number. There's gotta be. Nope, there's gotta there's gotta be and we're gonna call him later in the podcast try it one more time. We're talking about the famous Peter Luker Steakhouse in Brooklyn, famous for steak setting the precedent. And uh, you know my mom, she sometimes makes preservations, but I

don't know how she gets through. It's like trying. I feel like I'm trying to win a radio contest here. Okay, the schwarin is no longer for my guess is she has a friend and they told her that I'm still busy. Okay, uh, and we want I want to go back. I want to talk about our friends Selino and Barnes, because, first of all, you're all familiar with the explained before you play the jingle Seleno, it's seal and it's two lawyers. Started in Buffalo, New York. They hired a guy to

make a jingle. Jingle became so popular that they blew up their national law firm. Hold On eight, so you gotta hear the whole thing. Play it again, Okay, hold on So I love them for the past year or two now they've been fighting over they want to break up the company. They hate each other and who owns

the jingle? Who owns the phone number? Because it's like in fact, I think it was last year it was a Seleno and Barnes jingle challenge where celebrities were singing their own versions of the jingle and posting it online slee on Bonds challenge, And so we were talking about them for some reason this week on the Big Show, and uh, we played the commercial and I said, you

know what, I have an idea. I bet you these guys who were fighting, they probably need a new jingle to play the original jingle again, and it will play the new version that I created for them. Fo bars in Attorneys eight hundred. Don't wait, don't wait, call it not a commercial for them. We just played it, but that's not a commercial, not a sponsor. They hate each other. Here's what I wrote, Pino and Barns to fighting attorneys. They hate hate, hate, hate hate each other, no joke,

they hate each other. Yeah. I gotta tell you the singers on the original and the singers on this, Yeah, we did a good job on canny jobs and bars Shah. We have act. We have good people. Here at the do that that well, we have you know, let do all my parodies. Those are harmonies, and those are several voices of men and women put together. How did you know that was the perfect cocktail to make it sound exact?

Because we have a husband and wife jingles singer couple that comes into the I Heart Radio comedy division that you know I also work for, and they comminencing our jingless. You can't tell the difference. I can't tell the difference. Well, first of all, which one is this one? Which one is this one? That's the original? No, it's not, no, no, I know the original version is a little bit muffled from YouTube and it has a little bit old, the

old timey sound. Look at that. At that, I'm I'm listening for the I'm listening for the qualities of their voices. Let's playing together, dude. It's great. The buttons together and it's the same. It's like one big step. It's exact work. Had it right the first time? That's good. Yeah, they're good. But we have anything. Yeah, we have people who sound like everybody. We have people sing like DJ Kaled, Britney Spears,

you name it. We have just listen New York. Uh fortunately or unfortunately is a wealth of talent that people who are at their their jingle singers, their their background singers, their commercial jingle singers. There the people do this for a living while they're trying to get famous, or their Broadway singers, and and they part time they sing parodies for us mhm, and some of them sound they can replicate voices they hear. Yeah, so that's it's Leno and Barnes.

I do want to call you out on on joked stealing and get to that. I got eBay, I have a lot of unused jokes. I got everyone loves this. Let me just read. Uh. So, over vacation, we had two weeks, I decided to really really really clean up my home office and my garage. And in my garage, I've got these giant rubber made buckets. You see them in every one getting home depot. The big buckets back in my own storage facility and there it's about the tip over right. So I decided I was going to

go through them. So I ended up condensing so much. I got rid of like six buckets. But in one of the buckets was a couple of things that I found very interesting one of them that I found things that it was great in. My wife took me to Chicago on a trip to see a Mets game at Wrigley Field, and I got to go to a show to see Second City, which is an improv troupe. They're famous. Most of the senatent live players have come out of there.

A lot of them, Uh, Second City Television SCTV and old Sketch Show where Eugene Levy came out of and U, John Candy and a lot of Rick Ranis all came out of Second City somewhere. That's a It's a company that really trains people well on improv and they perform. I think Steve Corral, Steve Colbert did it. A lot of a lot of big names. And so I got the play bill, you know, the thing to hand out that tells you who's in the cast and this adds for local restaurants. So I found a couple of those.

I'm like, oh from my trip in nineties six and a great time. Let me go through and see who who the people were that performed when I saw that night. And so it says like, you know, Mike Hartley, he's a student of Northwestern and he studied under this person and he did this play and he's been a cast member for six months whatever. So the first guy is um uh, it doesn't matter for here for the story, it's Pete something. I think, Pete Eichler, Pete, don't to

tweet me. It's the tall bald guy from thirty Rock, one of the writers. Okay, and then I scrolled down to the bottom left column and it's Rachel Dratch right, Rachel Drafts was in the can and who because she was like this young girl do an improv years before sn L, probably like eight seven eight years before she was on SNL. Whatever it was, Okay. Then I got on the right column, so and so so and so and I see I jumped ahead and I see studied with Amy Poehler. I go study with Amy Poehler. Who's

that Tina Faye? So you saw and Pete from thirty Rock in the cast. That's how long they've known. Inspired me to go to take all my Broadway show playbills that I have. I have tons of them and look through who was in the cast that night. That could be big, huge celebrities right now, yeah, yeah, but you know who knew? But back back then. I will tell you this. I went to a taping of Oh God, I forgot what show was it, Conan O'Brien or whatever it was. It was an NBC show in the nineties,

and uh, to warm up the crowd, they brought it. Then, I said, because they do a crowd warming when when everybody the audience is sitting there, they want the energy and when everybody the comedy. So so yeah, so comedians come in and they do like ten minutes to stand up right before they started taping, so everybody's alive, Like, ladies and gentlemen, please from SNL. He just got his start. Welcome Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy. I got to see Jimmy Fallon warm up the crowd when he was just a kid,

and it was great. It might have actually been uh during a taping of Saturday Night Live, now that I think about it, do you think he you know, he was he was one of the he was one of the featured players at the time. He wasn't like on the main cast yet, and and he just came out and he did like ten minutes of just hilarious you know, audience interactive stuff before the show went on. The air. Huh.

I got to see Jimmy Fawn do that. Another thing I got to see Paul I'm sorry, um, Ray Romano do stand up at the comedy loves him exactly Raymond so he was. It was at the local place in New York City, down in in the village and it was awesome. I'm like, oh my god. At the time, I didn't know, but I later realized that this is the guy that was you know I started on TV. I'm like, that's the guy I saw like four years ago.

Other things I found in the rubbing bad box. Uh. One of my all time favorite awful intern cover letters. Not part of what I've been reading. And by the way, I think I had more that we didn't get to off the check for next episode. But here's one. Uh. It starts off. Her name is Amanda Um. I don't want to give out her last name, although she she This is from two thousand seven, so eleven years later. She's in her thirties. She has a private account on Instagram,

so I can't even look her up. Um. She went to school in the New York area, try state New York, New Jersey or Connecticut area, and I guess she was trying to be too cool for the room or funny. But here's why I did not hire her. Your bits like phone tap are lame and outdated. Start with a compliment for what you pay interns. By the way, we didn't pay the interns back then, they worked on college credit. For what you pay interns, I cannot promise better ideas than that, but I will give ad and be a

positive force for the show. So she was trying to be a smartass out of the gate. No, I think, no, okay, I don't know what she's going for here, is going for the joke. No, obviously she thinks that she wants she's doing something to stand in because sometimes they tell you resume class. You gotta you gotta come up with an opening line that's gonna get there. And she said, your your bits, your all your bits, Your bits like phone tap. By the way, it's the phone tap like

phone tap are lame and outdated. What she should have said was, although your phone taps and other bits are pretty good for what you pay interns, I can't promise better like a joke like, hey, you're good, I'm getting paid for free, but I'm gonna work class. I'm working for free, but you said there lame and outdated. Now, first of all, if you're listening to this and you think that on you, okay, I'm on a kidding. Second of all, you don't ingratiate yourself to me when I'm

one of the main players who does phone taps. Don't do it. So uh F you, Amanda, last initial. I'm gonna go crazy today. You know what we're gonna I'm gonna say, last initial, k Amanda, Kay? Do you one of the all time dumbest opening lines of of a cover letter? Do we have her address still? Yeah? I see where she loves good. Let's let's send her something like she bagel or something bagel. Oh oh, oh my god Instagram at the Brooklyn Boys podcast on Instagram. Hilarious,

Brodie and it is a visual. But you gotta you, guys, I'm gonna tell you what this is. So Brodie talks about ship bagels. We we don't like bagels. That are that are bag of bagel, bag of bagels, frozen ship They're not bagels, they're sho bagels. Well and Mouren on Instagram slid into our d m s and said, I wonder if these are like she bagels and it's a picture of a jar Brody. Yeah, we'll have real company ship pickles s h p I c k l E S.

I didn't say that. Spickles and it is if you A'm trying to zoom it, they're Oh my god, they're Brooklyn pickles. They're from Brooklyn Pickles and their logo has the Coney Island parachute jump and the Brooklyn Bridge hold on. But here's what they made of Collie flower and beats. Brooklyn pickles. That's a ship pickle. They're probably brown. But what where's the y? S h. It's a real product, pickles, no spickles, spickles. It's not a sho bagel. It's not again,

it's a spagel. I just want to know. I just want to know what. I don't want to disparage them. But it's not even like a play on words. It's not like, oh, we took the beat. It's the beats and now your shirts. Sh pickle like sam Hoffman pickle or something. Spickles, ship pickles, ship pickles, spickles, shpickles, spartacles. But what but what does it have to do with what the what's in the what's in there this calif flower and what it's his califlower? And beats pickles, beats beats.

I'm just saying. I'm just saying, Brodie, I don't know. Maybe it's like some healthy pickles, sh pickles. I don't know what it stands for. But if you don't know what it means, but you have a guess at what you think it means, you could tweet us. Please do Yeah, let us know that one we want? Please tweet us? Right, Let's let me look at some Instagram things that were sent to me since our last episode. Um, I don't know if I did this one already or not from

No It's muffin? Did we talk about this? A donut place asked me to pull forward, so I asked why. He said, the manager is strict about time. I said, okay, for a free donut, I'll do it. They were out of strawberry frost, and that they gave me three extra donuts hashtag free dessert. I've ever read that? Last week? Uh? That Tera girl? Uh? Did I read this one too?

Which one she was? There's a special parking sign at Panera says drive through parking, thank you for your patients Nope, it's spreading um at loons more tease manny a. So they're doing this thing where they stop and make you wait before you pull to the window so they don't clock themselves. So this is at uh oh, it looks like Burger King. So here's what they did. You order at the first window and they tell you don't pull up to the second window until they wave their arm

out the window and tell you to pull up. So it's the reverse fucker. It's they rather than pull up and then pull forward, you don't pull all the way up yet, right, and this way the timers it doesn't trigger the time. Okay, So what happened to Manny? You got limbo fucked? They put him in limbo in between the two windows to sit and wait. That's crazy. That's crazy. Now let's see bab hawk. Richard sends us a picture of a sign. Uh was this a mistake or what?

Mun cheese? Pizza, wings and kebab like man is one word and cheese. Now, I don't know he was looking for a grammar police there, I think. But but my problem is not with that. It's it's a pizzeria that sells wings and kebab. Do you buy a slice of pizza from a place that also sold kebab, Brodie, Uh, is it a pizza plate? Now here's the question. Is it a pizza place that wants to cater to some

of the locals. Like sometimes you go to a Chinese restaurant and they've got chicken wings and French fries because they know there's people that like, they, oh, my kid doesn't need Chinese food, so they add it like it's a pizza place, but it's in a maybe a Middle Eastern area where they add the gyro a Greek area rather, and they and uh, and they want you to like, I'll have a gyro walza. But if it's a Gyro place, I'm not buying their pizza. If it's a pizza place, now,

I don't think I'm buying the gyro. And by the way, we all know it's a euro. We're not saying it it's gyro. Uh, I know what it is. Yeah. By the way, handyman Vin twenty one also d M does and he thought he was standing behind you at a Chick fil at the Freehold Mall. Have you been there recently, Brodie? Wait? Chick fil A? Well, that's since they me at the air point well because uh buck, the couple next to him are in front of him, the woman ordered to diet coke and the husband chimed in no ice, so

they thought of you Brodie? Sure it wasn't you. It was definitely not making um By the way, Uh, that son of a bitch, David Brodie, who's not me from the Christian like crazy this week, so I'm I'm constantly getting his text messages, his tweets. Rather shout out to Mark Dad owned for the on Instagram, who left us a really really nice review on Apple iTunes. Speaking of which, if you haven't reviewed us on i Tunes and you're listening to this, please go on iTunes and send us

a review. Five stars would be great, you know, just like your Uber driver, but it would really help us because I think there's been some um some more a seventy seven out there. It's up to eight eight people hate us. Eight people don't love us? Why hate you? Eight? Come on? Now? We we we do the best for you every week possible, right now? Yeah, we don't. Uh. And then I also just want to shout out to what is this? Oh no, no, let us n os

l E t a s on Instagram. Hey Skerri and Brodie, thank you guys for putting on a great podcast every week. You guys truly, you guys truly feel like one of the boys. I hope you both enjoy your holiday season. Yeah that was back in December, but I just read it yesterday. I can't wait for the next podcast, the Brooke and Boys podcast at that is on Instagram. I also want to send a special shout out. Steven Spielberg is read dooing the movie Side Story, Classic movie. It's

been done a couple of times. Last time was with Rerida Moreno and she wanna I think an oscar for it. Whatever. Anyway, they're redoing it Classic Broadway show, Classic Story. They cast seventeen year old girl from New Jersey. Her name is Rachel Zegler z E G l e R. She's at Rachel Zegler on Twitter. And I saw the story and I'm like, oh, you know what, she might listen to our show. Yeah, So I looked at the nine people she follows. Nobody on the show. I'm like, oh, that's unfortunate.

She falls a lot of Broadway people, TV people, political people, whatever. But she's so talented I'm gonna reach out. I tweeted her, and I said, very proud of you. I think you sound great Clifton, New Jersey. If she was from Brooklyn, maybe we should have a perform here for the Brooklyn Boys pond. So I tweeted her and she wrote back, David Brody in all caps. I listen to you guys every morning on my way to school. Thank you so much.

But you know I don't follow you. She does now she follows me, okay, And I said, I said, send me an email if you're able to do interviews, because I don't know some of the publicists don't want you do anything. But if we can get her on to sing, how great would that be? I love that. A cappellat performances. You know, my previous podcast, we had performances here a couple of times. We had the brother the A j R. Brothers. Look at them now, yeah, look at that podcast. Now

we're trying to say that that performance is tank us. No, I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say, like you know, we have comics on, we still have a job. So no, I'm just I'm just saying I'm saying that maybe we we gotta have a good in studio performance. We gotta we gotta call our friends in the record labels. I wouldn't mind people performing here. Yeah, I mean, we'll take a little bit of coordination. Let's let's start with the best boys, and we'll work our way up or down

or whatever we're we've got. We're a two man band here. Unfortunately we don't have producers. It's just us, it really is. Can we expand our staff? I'd love to hire somebody. You like to expand my staff? H h, I don't know. Let's move on. Um jokes, I got some unused jokes, and I also had some more things I wanted to complain about. I got a lot of things to complain about.

My God, I wanted your opinion on something, and I just get yeah, So, uh, if you are if you play baseball, which scary does not really in the play, you have a glove? I do you have to because you're left handed, you have to bring you gotta have a glove if you're a lefty, because if you show up to a pickup game, you're like, oh, just borrow someone else's glove. If there's no lefty, you're screwed. So I have a glove that I got I think when

I was twelve or thirteen, so it's been a while. Yeah, but it fits my hand like a second skin, like a glove, like a glove, and the inside is a little shredded anyway, Probably those are the best gloves is when they're really warning and I have I've got two gloves. I've gotten two gloves since that I'm breaking in trying to get uncomfortable. But nothing beats that old glove that you've had forever. You're supposed to sit on it like for an hour a day. Yeah, okay, talk to your

talk to your boy, will your trainer about that anyway. So, uh, the webbing had broken. That's the part where the ball hits and pocket the pocket, right above the pockets, the webbing between the thumb and the first finger. If it was your hand and it ripped, so the ball would just go through it. So you have to get it re strong. So I went online and I went on Facebook, and I said, hey, can anybody recommend a place that

fixes gloves? And everybody said this one place, but the one place was like a half hour away from my house. But I'm like, it's my glove. I'm gonna get it fixed while we're on vacation and take care of it. So I try, I call up they say the guy says to me, Um, he says, uh, yeah, yeah, we fixed gloves. Yeah. I said, well, how long does it take?

About a week? I said, you do it in the house, so you ship it out, because some places say they fix it, but then they like they mail it to somebody, or they have some guy in another city, or they don't really do it right, because no, we have a guy who does it in house. Great. How much is it usually for the glove? How much is it to fix the webbing? Just the webbing? He says, uh to thirty five, depending on the on the damage. Oh all right, well,

I said it made a joke. I said, well twenty five would be better, of course, but all right, yeah, that's fine. He's always looking for it. Made a joke. Anytime anybody ever says that to you, it's like it's gonna cost between of team than forty or a hundred to two hundred. You know you're not getting the lower wrung, right, You're always getting which is why I made the joke. Assume that you're always paying the higher amount. Of you

mentioned trying to sugarcoat it. Right. It's like, but there's only one little spot on my shot, trying to take the pain out of it. Right. So I said, all right, alright, all right, even if it's thirty five, it's my glove, right, it's my it's my thing. I gotta have my glove fixed. So I drive the half hour, I get a spot. I go in and, uh, the guy. There's a guy there with his back to me. Right, he's buying the counter, and he's on the phone on the back counter, talking loudly,

ignoring me. I'm standing there for six seven minutes. I looked at my phone. He's still look talking to the guy. Yeah, I'm gonna order some jerseys. I'm gonna he's having doing it, putting a big sale together. Nobody's helping me, okay. So a woman comes out of the basement. She says, uh, you've been helped. No, not really. Guys on the phone, you know whatever. Uh, all right, what do you want to do? I called about having my glovery strung. Oh, let me get the guy in the basement. He'll come out.

So the guy comes out. He says, what do you want to want to look at said, uh my glove, I'm gonna have a fixed. Oh yeah, let's go. Let me look at it, show me on the counter. So I bring the glove to the counter. He looks at it. He goes, yeah, we could do that, not a problem. Yeah, I don't need the whole glove rey strong, just a little pocket area, just like I would say, totally, like I don't know around maybe like twelve inches in a circle, just that little bit, not the fingers, not all the

hard stuff. Because yeah, yeah, I gotta get to you by next Friday. Uh be fifty bucks? Said wow, fifty bucks, I said, I called last week and they said twenty five to thirty five. I made a joke, and the guy who has been ignoring me the whole time says hold on, turns around and he says, yeah, that was me. I talked to you on the phone. So I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, you did talk to me. Yeah I told you, But I hadn't seen the glove yet. This is uh, it's

more damage than I thought. That's just fifty dollars. How do you assess that? Isn't that more of an opinion? How much is really done to this? At that point, what would you have done me? Yeah, I would have turned around and walked out, okay, because you know what, they're leaving money on the table and they have they're gonna lose the sale, right, and I want to see if they're gonna pull me back into the store way

we could talk about this, right. I would have absolutely walked out because I don't you know, I mean, I'm non confrontational. I'm not going to try and get into an argument with these people. I would I would make a stand and rather than haggle and sit there and try and debate them or try and win a court case in a freaking store like that, I would be like, you know what, Yeah, I can't do business with people that that start, you know, changing price. So once you

at least said how can that be talk? I saw okay, I would have in my head another place, their competitor in my head, and I would say, you know what, I'm gonna take it down to Brown's. Yeah. But here's the thing. Wouldn't you at least say bah bah and say but you taught me on the phone. You wouldn't say no, no, no, no. I wouldn't even give him the time to day. You just go okay, thanks and walk out Okay, thanks. No no, I would say, okay, thanks, I'm gonna I'm gonna go bring it to so and so's.

I'm gonna let them know that I've already done my homework and I'm going to go to another place of competition. I think what I did. Here's what I hears what I did. I said. Now, wait a minute, you didn't say on the phone, thirty five could be more. It depends on the damage, you said, depending on the damage thirty five okay. Second of all, so you would think, so you're you were taking it like, well, thirty five is the ceiling, no matter how say. You didn't say

is average, but it could be more? You never I said, you never said that. Second of all, how much damage would have been thirty five because you're only doing the webbing. So what were we talking about? When I said I needed my glove real strong, I said really strong. I didn't say fix a finger, I said glove re strong. Is that? Is that a definitive thing? When you have a glove restrong like a racket, you you know in your head already you got to string the whole thing

what's required. And then He goes, we'll look inside. It's all ripped. That's that's that's really ripped up badly. I go, yeah, that's not to do with this, I said, restring the glove, right, I said, you know, he was trying to take advantage of the situation because you were already there in person with the glove. So he was like he pretty much is like I got him right. I got him what I tell him right. And plus I was piste off because the guy ignored me until he heard confrontation. They

turned around. I said, look, five thirty five should cover the whole glove. I'm gonna mind the guy I'm calling his blog come out. You're out, so I said, And if we're doing just the webbing, it should be twenty five. I'm gonna asking you to do the fingers. I just want the webbing. He goes, look, uh, you know that's you know, and we'll do it for thirty. So I said,

all right, that's fine. Like I was like okay. So I was like, fine, I'll pay the thirty but I go because I tell my go hey, man, I just drove a half hour like you had me drive based on the conversation we had you gonna own a business. Like if that guy wasn't there and the kids like, I don't know what the guy on the phone said to you, man, I don't know. Then I would have walked out because then there's no one argue with. But the guy turned around and said, yeah, I said it,

I go. Did did you say specifically or more? It's like, you know you didn't you said thirty five because I said I take and he didn't joke it. He could have said, well you know it also could bet didn't say it. Did say it could be fifty. So they did an okay job on the restring. I have to say they did a nice job on it, but it's that bad taste you get from their initial they're not good people. I don't know if they're good people. My point is they try to get you. They try and

get you. You're in the store, you're there already. And the funny thing is the older guy hadn't even looked at the glove. He heard the guy the young guy tell me fifty. He turned around and went, well, that was before we saw the damage. Do you even looking at the glove? You're you're you're taking your experts word at it. What damage the string broke? You're gonna sew the string. It takes about an hour, thirty bucks for an hour. Let's go. Let's go. So you would have

walked out. I liked that all you would have walked I don't deal with that ship. If they tell me one thing and then they do another in person, fuck you. My baseball glove was a swarin. We're like, yeah, I'm not doing it. He thought it's a good glove. Alright, what else you want to do? I think we should do? Someone used jokes? All right? Oh news joke time. I got a lot of them, a lot nice. I had a few, but I don't have the setups. I got the jokes. Now do I want to call you out

for something? I gonna call you off something and then I gotta I gotta ran by Chinese food rand I want to get to that. All right, Okay, we were talking about Dunkleman. You know Dunkleman is Dunkleman was the co host of the first season of American Idol with Ryan Seacrest. Ryan Dunkleman or Brian Dunckleman was his name, and uh yeah, I think he is doing something else these days. He's driving in uber now people making fun of him like, oh, American guys driving an uber. So

I said, well, he used to discover stars. Now he's just hoping to get five stars. That's great. Why did als do that? By the way, jokes that are done on that are not done on the Big Show. But Brodie sent Elvis up for but and other people in the show, but we didn't do it. Okay. Uh. We were talking about someone on the show, Oh Sam got steaks for Christmas, and I said, getting steaks for Christmas when you're a vegetarian like she is, I said, I So, I joke for Elvis was the same thing happened to me.

Someone gave me a woman because he's because yeah okay, um oh uh. Froggy said, Froggy are one of our coast, said Florida is cold and in the low fifties. And my joke was for Elvis to say, so am I and in the fifties? Um oh. Greg T said he keeps mementos from his ex is everybody's ever slept with. He kept something from all of his ex girlfriends. And I said, scary keeps things from his exes their freedom. Okay.

We were talking about gay bars and possible names for a lesbian restaurant, and I said a hole in hands instead of hole of hands. Uh, smash for burgers instead of smashed burgers, and uh chick potle chick. Will we talk about Jeff Bezos on last week's episode that his wife is leaving him, Yeah, and that she gets half his money. Uh, that's why he did you have a joke? Well, I said that, you know, I have a joke. I

said he pays her in one click. Okay, okay, so that once you moved to Jeff Azos joke, My Jeff Bezos joke was that was not used. I said he's got a new girlfriend. I hear he puts a smile on her box. Hio, because I don't think we did. Uh. Let's say we're talking about compression socks. There're socks you put on your feet that squeeze your leg and supposed to help with the circulation. Okay, So I wrote, what

a great gift for teenage boys? Um oh, Uncle Johnny on our show many many years ago, had sex with Merv Griffin. MERV Griffin not only was a talk show host, but he invented Jeopardy and wheel of Fortune, and so I said, oh, you had sex with merv Griffin. Is there an a why would me? Which is which is an anus joke as well as a Elvis said he hates Hugh Grant. We're telling my Hugh Grant and he goes, oh, his career is over. I said, yep, he's over the

notting Hill. Get nothing. And today Elvis was talking about how we got fired from the radio station in Tampa because he was telling a joke. Well, he was telling a story about a guy who put a pencil in his butt. So my joke was, that's an actual number two pencil. We didn't those the jokes we did not get to. Yeah, I have some. I have some, but I don't even know what the setups were because I

don't even know what we're talking about. We're talking about people with their own brands of wine, like what we should also like, Elvis should start like his own brand of wine, like his own line of wine. Okay, so I said, Elvis, Elvis wines daily. Oh yeah, because he it was a joke about him being cranky. But I want to keep your job. What kind of what is that? Well I gave it to him to do. But whatever, right, Um, And I don't know why I wrote on this piece

of paper you have a baby arm? What is that? I don't know. I don't know. I just wrote you have a baby arm, and I was supposed to remind me of something. But it's not a it's not a joke, it's not a punch line, it's none of the above. It was just is this even my handwriting? I don't know. Well, a baby arm is means that you have a huge penis, does it? Yeah? But I don't know. I don't know who has the baby arm? So is it talking about It's not even Actually, it's not even my handwriting. I

thought it was me. It's not. It's chicken scratch though. You're trying to take credit for a joke that you didn't write. It's not even a joke. It's just it's just just words on a paper. They're just sitting in front of me. You have a baby arm? Is somebody? Okay? Well, speaking of taking credit for a joke, you did a joke yesterday. You gave Elvis a joke for the show for the show, but it was it was a used joke. He did it on the show, yes, but it was a used joke because I gave him the same joke

like three weeks ago. We were talking about fomo again fear of missing out, and Elvis sometimes prefers not to go to things. He prefers to I'd rather just not go or my I booked too many things. He enjoys sometimes not going to things. So Scary writes down that he has he's happy about missing out, which is h O m O, which is homo. Yeah, I have a

case of homo. I gave it to him. He did the joke on the air, right, did the joke on the Adit to him right again, Elvis, and then you talk the victory sip, and then I took a victory sip, and then the mics go off, and then Brody just like stares me down after we would go to commercial. This is all off the air, after the joke and after all that, I said, what what? And Brody says, yeah, that was a really good joke. I wrote it like a month ago. You're like, we're talking about but I said, okay,

but the thing is you claim you didn't know. I didn't know. I don't know. I thought of it on the spot in my own head. Anybody could see. That's the thing. That's a layup, that kind of a jail. You're you do think you're the only person on earth that has a sense of humor that could write jokes. Not at all, of course, not that, but not every other comedy writer stands in this studio and heard Elvis do the joke a month ago, but I didn't hear it,

and I don't remember it. I don't remember it. I still don't rem okay, But if this is a court of laws, we were talking like when musicians rip off other musicians and play the same hook and they go, I never heard that guy. They go, you're still liabel. So Brodie makes a federal case about he stole my joke. Didn't tell anybody other than you want to write no, from the time, I just wanted you to acknowledge because you were like, you took a victory sip. You know

what victory sip is. It's when you're so proud of yourself, and especially on this show, you you just might even realizing you can pick up a copper bottle and you just take a sip, Like, how that was good? That was me? I just did that. Yeah, well, you took a Victory sip and you're like, I wrote the homo joke.

I did, well did you didn't write it there? I wrote the joke you can't come in here and go fourth scoring seven years ago, and then hey, Blanken wrote that in the moment we brought the topic back from several months ago when we originally talked about it was actually scary. I started writing it and figured he's not gonna do it again because he's made the joke and he slips forgot it's all new to him. You slipped it in like Will and the sauna, and you gave

him a joke. It was unintentional, and you have to understand something. You're not the only person that has Again, I already answered that. I already answered that. I understand other people might write homo for fomo. Uh, but you're on this show. He did the joke and I wrote it, all right, So I just you know, don't steal my jokes or they or they'd acknowledge it and go. You know what, Broady, you did write that, but I don't remember you doing Okay, I'm not gonna I'm gonna throw

it back to you. Do you think you're the only person with the comic sensibility to come up with that. You might have because not only rhyming fomo with homo, but you have to coup with letters that make sense. If this was the reverse and the tables returned, steal your joke? No, and if you did, I wouldn't have made a big deal about it. I would have just you be so proud of yourself that I stole one

of your jokes. You would I would not please you know what, you know, I'd be like, sit there, all right, let him have his everything, let him have his moment. Really, I'll be happy for you, happy for me. No, you wouldn't care, be like, fuck him him, enjoy himself. At the time you're writing jokes for Elvis, I'm thinking of those same jokes, but I'm not putting them on paper. I'm doing I'm busy doing my job. So now you're saying that what I write, any any Joe Smoke could

write the same. Just you, brilliant mind, scary smo, brilliant mind, think alike. Now you're a brilliant mind. Yeah right, okay, I think it takes I think it takes a brilliant minds to do this podcast. One of us I feel out of sorts today though, I feel like we're not giving them a home run podcast today. Why is that? I don't know. I just feel I don't feel like myself, you know, I don't know. I'm not sick or anything,

and you still get late in the day. It's terrible. Well, we're recording this later in the afternoon, and I don't like it. I like to record when we get off the radio. So I'm good to go. Hit the ground running, baby, ten am sharp, let's go. Let's record the podcast. But you went into meetings and all kinds of ship. We all had ship to do, ah, except you did it all right, and I had to do my Walkers and Talkers podcast, which, by the way, which, by the way,

she should never take precedent over this podcast. Whoa, whoa, Whoa, I'm up, episode one thirty three on Walkers and Talkers, and people have been listening to that thing for two and a half years. And no offense to Jamie. She's a brilliant host. I love her. But this podcast has four times the listeners at them when that when does

that's not true? Maybe twice two times? There are more listeners to the Brooklyn Boys it's more of a mainstream thing, whereas walkers and Talkers is a niche past like niche se, I say, niche. Okay, it's nietzsch Let's go. Let's go with the wh the crowd is come to this podcast. First, is that on another day, more people is better. Let's record that on another day. Normally I do, but we

had things this week where I couldn't do it. We're all busy, everybody's everybody's busy, all right, all right, so let's get back to uh, delivering a good podcast. I want to tell you about what happened to me on eBay? Who things happened to me on First The first thing you need to do deliver good podcast is talking to the microphone. Well, I'm looking through my phone, douche bag. I'm not back there like that. I was right over here for a second. Past. Is that how you deliver?

Called Peter Luger is Peter Luker interlude? Hold on, hold on before you call Peter Luger. Check this out. Okay, there's one of those who tell you about it. Okay, we're back, We're back, all right. I love how you use the is Peter Luker's gonna answer the phone moment as a as a cliffhanger. Yeah, all right, so let's see um tyling tling tling by the way to digital dial. I am actually dialing numbers, but you're not going to hear them. Go pop up? Okay, then hit the dial button.

And how could it be busy all the time? Peter Lugas and Brooklyn? Can we make an emergency breakthrough? You think that'll work? You have the operator car because I don't think they're on the phone. I think they take the phone off the doll. Let's make an emergency breakthrough with the operator that. Can we do that? You're gonna say, I need emergency, gotta have a stick. Yeah, I don't tell me the numbers. I gotta call my uncle Peter. Tell am I gonna make emergency break to from Uncle Peter.

I'm worried, Uncael Peter. Uncle Peter is over a hundred years old. Calling operated. We call an operator on this board. You can't nine to get out. Hit the opera nine zero, your call cannot be completed. Dials can check the number. And let me tell you about two things happening on eBay. I'm a big fan of selling stuff on eBay not a sponsor. So I have this, um the sports bubble head thing. I have bubble head up on eBay right, and uh, it was up for like bobble the babble

bobble bobble. Should we edit that out? I think we should. Don't know what that was. You have a you have a seizure. It's big s and Nicki Minaj. Yeah no, that's not what that was. That was never mind. Yeah, it's so street. Okay. So this I get a bid on something on this bobble head that I haven't It's been posted like eight times. It's been months, it's been up maybe two months. I'm like, I got a bit.

This is great, somebody wants it. I'm selling it. I'm moving the junk out this him New me IF twenty nineteen. I get an email from the guy and he says, ah, I placed a bid by mistake. Can you can you retract my bid? Okay? So I see it. I'm in the car, I'm not driving, but I'm in the car on the I get an alert that I had a bid, and I get alert he's emailing. So I wrote him back and I said, hey man, I've voice texted hey man, First of all, you placed the bid, you gotta retract it.

I'm not going into the eBay help section and canceling your bid. You made the mistake. You got three days cancel the bid. Thanks, okay? Nothing, next day, nothing, nothing. I email him and I go, hey, his name is Bill. I go, hey, Bill, you gotta cancel that bid because I'm not doing it. And second of all, when you say retract my bid, retract means take it back. I didn't put it there. You gotta retract it. So by definition of retract the bid, that's you, pal, you made

the mistake. You go into the system and to the item number, retract the bid. I really don't have time. Hectic week for me. Thank you, though. Two days go by, the third day, one day left. Email him again, a bill, you know, one day left to you're owning it? Like, all right, whatever, let him, let him own it. I don't care. So it ends and he's the winning bid, right, so I got so I send him an email, Hey, Bill, you're now own the bubble head. Congratulations. Please make payment

within two days. You never canceled the bid, never retracted your bid. I'm thinking I'm being a prick here, right because now if he doesn't pay, now I have to go through eBay and I have to cancel his bid and go the whole thing, right, Okay, He writes me back, and he says, hey, so sorry. It turns out I wanted after all, I'm keeping it so by me not canceling his bid, I got a sale. So it pays

to be a dick. I think that was your no. Admittedly I was at dick about it, and I got to sail out of the deal even though you were a penis. Yes, I got fifteen bucks for this thing that I've been laying in my house for ten years I couldn't get rid of. Now here's the problem. Normally, when I chip on eBay. If you've used eBay, I go on my laptop. I go to the eBay dot com, not the bay. I go to eBay dot com and I'll upload the pictures, type in the description, YadA, YadA YadA.

It takes about six or seven minutes and I upload the item. And I really haven't been using an app to do that, and said, you know what I have to. I was listening a lot of stuff over the holidays, over the two week vacation, so I'm like, let me try the phone. Because I have the phone, I'll go into my office, I'll take pictures, upload it right the description, boom boom, boom all there. Otherwise I'm running back down to my laptop. Let me see if I can do that.

So there's an option when you sell an eBay you can. You can put up a price, an auction price, and the people bid and it goes up higher. You can use a buy it now where you go, well, I want, I'll start it at nine nine cents. But if you want to buy it, you don't want to lose out on this, You can have attemp bucks or they have a thing called best offer, Like it's a hundred, but if I don't get the hundred, I'll take the best offer. You offer me seventy. If no one else offers me

a hundred, I'll take the seventh. Sure some stuff, I don't want best offer. I just want to post it. I'm asking seventy dollars. I want seventy dollars. That's it. And the fucking story. So I notice everything I'm using the app for when it goes up, I'm getting best offers. I go. I didn't check the best offer box and they're all best offer. I go, huh, it must be an opt out. I didn't notice it, so I un check everything, I undo it. They're all regular, no best offer.

And now I'm I'm listening more stuff and I'm seeing best offer and I'm on checking it. I'm deliberately on checking best offer, and I post it and I'm getting best offers. What the fuck? I look again in my on my my eBay page and they all have best offers. So I the things I posted with my laptop up not so much. So I go, must be a glitch. I'm gonna call eBay. So I called eBay and I

say to the guy. I get the guy on the phone, and the guy tells me, by the way, it sounds like you're about to go on a labyrinth of customer service because eBay is so big, You're not gonna get the same answer twice and and everyone I will be bouncing you around to different people. So I call eBay and they have a new thing. Now you can talk to them. So I get quote Carlos, unquote Carlos. I assure you this man was not from a Latin American country of any kind. His name is not Carlos. Whatever

was it Carlos like that? Nope, it sounded more like the Philippines. Not that they can't be someone name called if you have an uncle named Carlos and the Philippines don't tweet me. Okay, he didn't sound a Carlos. That's I'm just making an observation, all right. So I tell him the whole thing, and he says, I don't I don't know. I don't I don't understand. You don't know the up is deliberately putting in best offer when I'm

on checking best offer. What do I do? So? Carlos tells me, oh, I hold on a put spin hold. He comes back. He goes, I have an idea. Okay, fantastic. What's the idea? He says? May I suggest you no longer use the app and use the desktop? What? I'm sorry? What he says? I suggest you use the desktop because if you don't like the app, don't use the app. I go, that's not the I said, so I said, if I called him about my car not working, I wouldn't want you to tell me to use the bus.

I want you to fix the app. But what's wrong with the app? He says, oh, of course not. When I asked him about the bus, I said, Carlos, if I called you about my car and it was broken, would you tell me to use the bus? Dead silence, nothing. I'm waiting, He goes, of course, not like he wasn't sure. I said, Carlos, let me speak to a supervisor. Let me speak to someone who understands the best offer option on eBay, somebody other than you. Hold on, I get quote Mary, not her real name. First of all, I

say to heart, mary's not your name? Huh what? Nothing? Okay? So why do you have to be a smartass? I mean that's because Carlos got me mad. So then so I tell Mary the story and she says, oh, yes, it's part of eBay's new marketing campaign. We really want people to use the best offer option and increases sales. And I said, she said, if they see the starting prices too high and you're listing is high, we suggest the best offer. They suggest the best offer, but it's

your stuff. Shouldn't you be in charge of how you sell it? Exactly? And get this, they have another thing on the app. If I want to list something for and they think I should list it for eleven when you put in, it automatically changes to eleven. Do I hear it? Fuck you eBay coming? Oh yeah, So now there's two problems with eBay. One, you're trying to get me to take the best offer, and to they're now telling you how much to charge. They don't say you

might want to charge eleven. They change your listing price to eleven, and you're gonna have to go back and manually make it thirteen again. So they go, we found that it increases sales. I said, that's terrible and I'm never using the app again. Carlos was right, and she says, why, who's Carlos the guy who goes transer me to you? What did Carlos say as it? Carlos says that if I don't like the functionality the app, I shouldn't use ite. So she says, well, that sounds like sound advice. Are

you fucking kidding me? Your eBay, Your app is e Bay. Your job is to get me to use the app, and your sales people say, if you don't like it, don't use that app. That's their advice. We realize our policies may suck, so rather than fix them, well, I have a work around or a setting. I could have that, but don't do that. You know that, don't use the app? I go, are you going to change the policy on the desktop? We might? You might. Why is the policy

on the phone but not on the desktop? We don't know. So you're fucking people on the phone taking away their freedom and liberty as Americans. I said that in my head, by the way, and said it to them. You're taking away of my right to choose the price and the options. Yes, that sucks. Well they use the desktop. That's their answer. Guess what. See That's where I would have stopped right there. I was like, you know what if if the app has other functionality to it, I'm going to use the desktop.

I'm going to go on the computer. Thank you Carlos, goodbye. But you want to have that second follow up with Mary to be only to be rerouted and to be told what they're trying to do their scheme, and they're absolutely fucking on the take, and and and there was there was end result is you still going to the way up site? Now I have to go to the desktop, go to the desktop. So what to go to the desktop? So fuck you Carlos and fuck you Mary eBay and fuck you eBay app. I still love eBay. Your app

can kiss my music quick one. My girlfriend got promoted the other day. Well, I thought you gonna say pregnant promoded. Okay, because proregnant could happen. Okay, it could happen. She works in an office building in the middle Did it happened? Is there a chance she get so worked you're gonna say something. She works in an office building in the middle of Manhattan getting snip stop it? Okay you snip? No,

not stop. So I she she's celebrating the whole thing, and I'm like, call the Flourish, a local flourist, and I say, hey, it's eleven o'clock in the morning. Could you get some flowers up to her by lunchtime, like you know, in the next couple of hours. No problem, we'll do that, Mr Scary. So the Flourish shows up now again. When you work in a big New York City building, you got security guards and lobbies and multi floors and stuff like that. She works on the whatever

floor like floor. They have a messaging center, Brodie, What does the messaging center do his messages? Or the message center when you check in with the message center. Would you give your messages? Right? But what else do they do? Don't do you think that they might? You know, they's a front desk. So two hours goes by and I get a phone call from the florist. Hey, Mr Scary, there's a problem. We try calling your girlfriend. She's not answering her phone the floor. The delivery guy is downstairs

in the lobby with the flowers. And I said great. I said, she's leading an important meeting right now with her team. I said, you guys have hundreds of companies in the building who all have that situation, the same situation. I said, they have a reception area. Go to the message center and drop the flowers of the message center. I'll text her and then when she gets of her meeting, she'll come down to the message center pick up the flowers. All right, So he goes, no problem. Ten minutes later,

I got another call from the florist. Hey, Mr Skary, Uh, this bouquet of flowers. Uh is still without delivery guy. He's at the messaging center and he's sitting there saying that there's a problem. Your girlfriend needs to come down to get the flowers. And he's got to go to this next delivery. She's in a meeting. I said, she's in a meeting. I said, no, leave him with the message center, right, Okay, I'm texting. I'm calling my girlfriend.

She's not answering her phone. Guess what, she's in a meeting. Of course she is, because she Otherwise she would have answered. She would have answered the multitude of text and phone calls from the florist and me. So I called the front I called three numbers to get to the front security, and I said, hey, guys, I'm like, I need to talk to the people the mestic center because there's a florist there, there's a there's a delivery guy would FLOWERSH

just got promoted, alright, transfer over. They transfer me to the message center. I'm like, hey, this is Mr. Scary calling accept my girlfriend flowers and apparently delivery guys there with the flowers, and she can't come down right now because she's leading a meeting. This is the message center. Yes, the message center, this is us. Great, awesome. Let the guy leave the flowers and she'll be down and probably about in the next twenty minutes to a half hour

maybe less, to pick up her flowers. You don't have to water him, have to trim him, you have to prune him, just take him. Yeah, Oh, I'm sorry. We don't accept deliveries here at the message center. I'm sorry, motherfuckers. What's your name is the goddamn message center? You've got one job give messages and received messages and deliveries. You don't accept packages and boxes? We do, okay, but we don't accept flowers. Why why don't you accept flowers? Because

we don't want to be responsible because they're delicate. They're more delicate. They're out in the open, they're not in a box. Fucking you're the goddamn messaging center, right, Oh, my huge fucking building with multi billion dollar companies that are your tenants. Take the fucking flowers of my golf. I don't be fucking down when she's throwing her fucking man. Well, doesn't she have cheam members that could come down? And like,

doesn't she have interns? No? During the motherfucker I wanted to all I can think about is what would PROTI say? What would say? What would But you know what, I took the opposite harsh ending on that song. I took the opposite and now I shut it because I said, you know what, I'm not gonna lose my cool. You're gonna walk away. It's gonna walk away. We're gonna take the flowers to another building. In my head, that's what I was doing. I was screaming and yelling. But but

what Scary Jones did do? Say? Look, I know, I know you normally don't take deliveries for whatever reason. I'm not questioning why you don't take deliveries in your the message center. I'm just saying this, Uh, the guy the florist has to go to his next delivery and my girlfriend and there's no one to take. You know, she will be down in ten or fifteen minutes. I promise you. They're not gonna sit there all day. Okay, So so we're gonna make an exception here. Okay, So so it's

not because apparently they have no space back there. There's a very small area they're working with. Not my problem, not your problem, but they're like, you know what, I and I and I brought him up. I said, Look, my girlfriend got a huge promotion, I said, and I really really want to make this stay special for her, and I would appreciate it if you could just find it in your heart to accept these flowers and let this delivery guy go on his merry way. Okay, he's

standing there the whole time. Yeah, yes, he's stay the guy who's standing in for a half hour, going back and forth between lobby security and the messaging center and all. And he the guy goes, Okay, you know what, we'll make this exception. Please tell her to come down when you can. And and the delivery guy went on his way, and she got a flowers. Fifteen minutes later, I got an iPhone call. But you know what, Brodie, I killed him with kindness and I and I and I struck

at the heart string. I. I got emotional about it. I made him think about what he would do on the guy on the phone if he was trying to deliver the flowers to his wife and they couldn't get there. Isn't it crazy? But it works? It was a happy ending. It was a rant in my head, but I kept my cool when I spoke to them, all right, I like, do I use the rant music twice? Well? Because I was just nervous. I was getting crazy. I was I

don't do rants very much, but no I could. I would be upset like there's no rules and no sign there's no policy, but he doesn't want to be responsible, right, But seriously, you're a fucking messaging center. Your jobs to take the ship. That's it. It's messages you're getting received in box, outbox. A couple of things before we wrap this up. I had a couple of audio clips for next week that we're gonna play. I'm mad at Bank

of America, I'm mad at grub called popular. Next week, I promise you episode seventy, ull do the Chinese food rant because I dealt with a couple of idiots. There's there's a rule about take out that these people clearly don't know. So even though it was Christmas Chinese food, it's like episode seventy, like it's already fuckers, you know what. Don't just call it any Peter Luker, call it Peter Lucas in Brooklyn Boys Boys Brockle