#65: Beat Boxing, Bad at Math and Brady Bunch BS

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you'll see what the difference. You'll taste the difference, and if you like mustard, Feltman's mustard is designed to go with the hot dog. Start up, broken boys, start up daughter. They're making noise, daughta episode up? What man number? The Brooklyn Boys? Ready, I'm gonna beat Buck. You want to go first? I don't brand out all right? The song that was my That was my hidden talent as a kid. The only thing I was good at. Understand why I was hidden. The only thing I was good at growing up.

Brody was my my my Compared to your ability to play sports, I totally believe that was your one skill. No I could. I was the human beat box. I used to beat box with the best of them. In fact, I got a very nice compliment from our boy Spruce earlier. Oh he would just summing the hallway and he's busy. People say, what do you say about me? He said, you had a uh something about a Brooklyn beat, about a rhythm. I got Brooklyn rhythm. I got some kind of a rhythm. You don't even know what it was. No,

because we were recording. Okay, let's be completely transparent. Let's pull back the curtain, hold on all right. Well, okay, I'm gonna call you on something, because call me when you Okay. We just recorded an official version of free Ship for us. Yes, we went into the studio much like you know that. Those are our vocals on the No Sleep Till Brooklyn Beast. So we've been singing over the original, and it's my fault. I wrote an intro, so the part with the shots part um, right, and

then we've been singing over the original. I wrote a parody of the top and then Scary and I sang free Ship for us for us, and so I went in there to do my track. And then when it came out, Spruce was standing there with your boy Mario and they applause round of a plus for Scary, and he said something about me having He said I had an urban rhythm. I think that's what he said, and I think he said he had he had, But I can't think that as a huge compliment because because I mean,

white boys can't sing dance. Here's what you did. But I was like, okay, did you want to catch that? What you didn't get? What did I do? I can't I didn't Met a sponsor. Hold, okay, I need I need a jingle that says not racist, but racial alert because you are Okay. If you were playing baseball okay, and let's say a star baseball player said you had a good throwing arm, you'd be like, oh my god, like uh, I'll say, David right, I'm a met fan. David Wright said I throw really well. No a synderguarde,

I threw really well. Okay, and you'd be like wow, because he's he's really good. He knows you're justifying your ability to have rhythm because the only black guy you know said that you have rhythm. That's what you just did. Like keep people like even Spruce said I had But that was but that was an unannounced and I'm sorry that was I didn't I didn't pine for that. I didn't like to say I need you to compliment. You're trying to search it for for searching for the words

you mean unsolicited. I didn't solicit him for coming. That's right, it was unsolicited. He came out me. He was like boom, I came out of the studio, and that was he was the first person I saw. And I took that as a huge content you don't have kids, but sometimes your kids do things that for an eleven year old, Yeah, and you go, that was fantastic. You just threw the football unbelievably. Well not notice I didn't say you threw it unbelievable, because that's not proper. He said, Oh my god,

what a great spiral. But it was kind of wobbly. But you give it. You give him a little credit because for an eleven year old, it was really good. You make it feel good. That's what he did to you. So you're saying it was a backhanded compliment. I'm saying he was like trying to hume me. You up, buddy, you up a little bit, make you feel good about yourself. I think he I don't think he was that was gonna come out of my math. I think that I

had that. All you did. You went in the studio, you listen to the track of me singing it, and then you you along with me. You did free ship for us. I mean that's not but it was right on beat. You're not rhythm. Okay, you're not exactly. I

thought he was paying me a compliment. If you're now you're telling me he's like really making fun of me and I like exactly, jay Z there you didn't you didn't like you know, but it harkens back to a time when I used to to the Human beat Box and that was my hidden town, and all your other really white Italian friends from the neighborhood told you you were good at it. I used to have so we used to be in my stoop. A stoop is like a dumb kid. No, a stoop like that's not sure

for stupid. I know what it's. I know it is, don't Okay, So a stoop if you live in a house that has like five steps to go up before you open the door, there's usually a few steps and then a little flat area where you'd stand to open the door with your kme right, that's a stoop. You hang out on it not quite a staircase. It's like a broken up staircase with like landing. There's a show on. It's really late at night. It's on I think it's on NBC, and it's on after uh Seth Myers, after

Um what's his name? Um the guy used to Carson Daily Hawson Daily. It's called it's like Live from the Stoop. No, it's called stoop Talk. Stoop or something I don't know, talk stoop with cat green leaf maybe yeah, And so she just sits down on the steps. I love that. And then if you grew up in New York, we play again it. Maybe other cities like could be Philly. I don't know, but stoop ball, will you throw the ball against the steps? Blue the rubber blue ball right,

which by the way, are made by spald Ding. But in New York we called and I have no idea, so yeah, so we so that was we were talking stoop. But anyway, now we just so we would sit on my stoop. I'd bring out the boom box. And then when these these rappers of the eighties were doing that, when when it was really big to do that acapella human beat box thing, I would be boxing along with them. Okay, I thought, I thought, I did really well, who are

you were? Who are you calling in here? Brodie's getting up? Oh, here comes Spruce, Spruce on the loose. You know what, The listeners love it when Spruce comes for a visit. Spruce, we need a jingle for you, buddy. How's it going? Man? Have a seat, I was telling Spruce Spruce. I was not an order that was telling you to by the way, you didn't You didn't need to lean in and do the back pad his hand. I love you, and it

always smells so nice in here. I did to ask you what it is, what it is that you wear every day that I could smell You're a roma, cocoa, coconut something. Yeah, well, I don't like all over no, no, no, no, I don't. I don't wear I don't like colon or anything like that. So I just wear oil like after shower, or it's a cocoa mango. I listen to cocoa mango, coco cocoa. We're having a conversation here that involved you always, so you heard us. I was laughing because Scary gave

me the black guy greeting when I came. Of course, of course he didn't give you the man, but if he gave you the back path to modify the almost he almost punched his heart and David the peace signs that. But yeah, so, so I wanted to thank you because you paid me a compliment. When I was recording my line for the song free Ship for Us, I came out of the stud. You what was what did you

say exactly to me? Right to my face. Yeah. Yeah, so he said it because he he beat box when the when the podcast started and he said he was box. He says, that was my talent when I was a kid. That was what I was known for, my hidden talent. And so I said, I understand why it was hidden. And he says, he says, I beat beat Box. Well, even Spruce said I have rhythm. And I'm like, so what you're saying is even the only black guy you know said you have a rythm? Right, I'm official spoke person.

You're making fun of me like you're an expert in rhythm because you're black. It seems to think you were. You were riffing on me or something. No, I okay, what I what the analogy I made? And I'm sorry for those of you who are listening and you already heard it, but I said, you know, like when you have a kid and you're like ten eleven years old and they throw football and it's kind of wobbly, but you go, wow, it was a great spiral. Good job,

that's what you were doing him. Hold on honest, hold on right, nuts, Gross, you and I we work with a lot of singers, a lot of rappers, a lot of beat boxers, professional people, but we do our parodies now, compare those people. It's cold, Brodie, why are you going down that room? Because you know, you're like, okay, it's like you're like, you're pretty fly for a white guy. That's what he did to you. You're like, oh, you got some you've got some street in you. But he

met like Park Avenue. He didn't mean like a street. Oh my god, hailo rodeo driving streets. Yeah, you don't have the main man street. Okay, but yeah, and I used to beat box. We're hearing that's everybody quiet room, got my lips, Yeah, everybody heard you go. Just now that's a little sample. That's a loop. That's okay. Now, before you give your opinion, how that sounds to me like he just did three sit ups and he's out of breath, like he carried his groceries up a flight

of stairs. No, no, no, no, okay, your expert opinion. Being a black guy on our podcast, he's laughing his ass off because you didn't expect You didn't expect that to come out of this mouse. I definitely didn't expect that to come out of you. Okay, so would this would this be a fair analogy when American Idol has those people on where all their friends told them they were good singers, and then they come on and they suck and they go, oh, my friends told me I'm great.

You guys are deaf because they've been told their whole life that they're good. It's like it's like the like the women who are like, not that attractive, nobody like this. We want to hurt their feelings. He should be a model. Then they go and they don't get the modeling job, Like you don't know what they I'm beautiful? Not really. So that being said, what were your thoughts on that

don't work? That? As as a as a fan and a member of our regular guest of our show and a black man from the South, what were your thoughts give me the juice spruce hidden talent? It is a hidden talent. It's still hidden. Hero as you keep it hidden? That bad? Hold on, go ahead, be honest. Could you beat box? I cannot beat box? What can you do? What you're hidden? Hold on? No, no, don't deflect? How was that here? As beat boxes go? That was a beat box? Black? How was a beat box? What was

your what was your hidden talent growing up? What did your head? You were sitting on the stoop with your boom box, I would have beatn your boom box. I would have beat the box, Beat the box, beat the box. So what's the deal? Tell me? What do you have? What did you what did you have growing up? Did you was there something hidden talent? Or was there a talent that that we don't know about that you have? Um, No,

there's no talent that you guys don't know about. Brody probably knows being better than anybody else was playing basketball. That's it. That's he was gonna ask you. I was. I was. That was my next question. To play basketball basketball school every every day from the sixth grade until I graduated from college. So you're a ringer, you know, if you come out, if you got into the court, was that a ring Okay? If you get on, you get onto the court, you just like you shoot from downtown.

I mean, I don't listen to him, but how are you in traffic? Are you good in traffic? Do you box people out in the paint when you're in the paint? A little bit of everything? Okay, he's looking up basketball phrases on his phone that I was in the paint rain threes arad threes with both hands. Yeah, that's great you uh well scroll scroll? How was your handle? How is your hand? You have a taken to the hole. You've taken all swish. I took it to the whole, had good handle and I rain threes in. My J

was tight swish. Okay, what is what is my J was tightening? Uh? You know, I don't know your J was tight? You're shooting a J. You shooting J is? Uh? It's because because the ball goes into J and it's all net right, it goes that would that would be jump shot now that jump shot J T J. Yeah. But if you shooting J, yeah, like, are you shooting it from the curve first or the straight pot first? He was shooting from the from the from the curve right in the J or a small case upside down J.

So you're shooting the ball straight up? No, you know it's it's a curve. It's a curvy J, and it goes straight to the curvy J. One of your favorite rappers in the curvy J beat box. All right, okay, well that's cool. What about Brody Brodi You don't have any hidden town. It's nothing. All my talents are very obvious. Look at this school not to fold. No, I didn't know. I didn't have any hiding talents. That's what I'm saying.

Is there anything that you are good at that to this day, after we know each other all these years, what is there something like? Because I've never seen you with an instrument in your hands theTimes I used to play, I used to I took guitar lessons for a while, and I wouldn't say I play guitar. I will say that I was. I was probably um insanely good at certain video games when I was growing up, right, Like,

I would not know that about you. Like I would go to college and there was a student union building that an arcade. I would start a game and then the day was over by the time I was done. Oh my god, I didn't know that I would lose like the whole day Pie, Dragon's Lair, and Gyrus games from what I went to school. So I learned that just now on this podcast, I just learned something about Yeah, there were games like Crazy Climber. Like some of you

listening going, what is he talking about? But I would I would, I would obsessively practice and get good at it. And I would play so long that I would never lose and I have to go home. Like people would put the quarter up on the on the counter, like to go next. There would never be a next. I would just go and go and go and defeat the game. Well, the game never got defeated. You just keep going. I had to stop after a while because at some point MS pac Man gets so fast and crazy that you

that it beat you. You can have a lot of those games are A lot of them are pattern and so if you remember the pattern, like oh, the ships are gonna come ou from the right, then the left and upper right in the box. That's like Dragon's Lair, which was the first laser disc one of the first laser disc games. Um, I just memorized it, and my timing, my reflexes were excellent, and I got really good. And I know I play video games now really good. Yeah,

but I have an obsessive problem. Yeah, like I already kicked you just now. That's why I'm hurting. YEA, wow, I can't. I'll tell you what. I can't play video games anymore, like uh not long form Like I'll tell you I'll give you a story. It was about nine or ten o'clock at night at my in low's house, and uh they have an upstairs where the bedrooms are and the bedrooms and uh so I had just gotten

Grand Theft Auto two. It was about ten years ago whenever it was, and I was playing it, and I was showing my wife the game, and she's like, I'm going to bed meet me upstairs. Okay. Nine hours later the sun came up. I didn't notice it. My in laws came down to make breakfast and I was sitting there is zoned into that game. I get like that. I get obsessive to to solve games, beat games, so I don't play the One of your non talents is keeping track of time management. Time management is not one

of my I'll lose myself. So when people like, oh, you're playing like World of Warcraft or or you know anything, you just getting lost from the game and you don't realize what time it is is due? Okay, So IRAQ Ultimate h was it? Unreal Tournament? Unreal Tournament is is sort of similar to Fortnite, and it's just you have different boards. So the board could be in space or in a western town or wherever, and we would get on this and it's you'd play over a network. So

he would go on his computer. I'll go on mind with ten feet apart. We would fight each other, but it was you three of us. M yeah, four of us in the same comedy studios. We would finished writing comedy. We were done at seven o'clock. It was eleven thirty, like I had. I had to get here at five the next that's the problem. We got lost in it. Yeah. So but my friend Iraq, who's been on this podcast, he does the Exeric Nego podcast. He he makes up with me on UM, I want to say, Saturday, up

with me on Friday. On Friday he says, hey, hey, he had picked up something for me, something that was a collectible from my daughter because he's into sci fi equipment and he has people that get like the stuff you can't find anywhere. So I really wanted with a little pop figurines that was a collector's item and I got it from my daughter. He got it for me. So he says, oh, you come over Saturday pick it up. I said, what time is good for you? Is this any time after ten is fine? Okay? So at ten

forty I text him nothing. I text him nothing, I call his house nothing. I'm like, listen, I gotta pick this up because it's it's Hanakah. I'm Jewish, by the way, in case you guys don't remember, and thank you, and I need to get this present from my daughter before Hanakah starts on Sunday. And I can't go Sunday because it's football. Hello. So I'm like, I'm twenty fifteen minutes from his house because I was already on my way

when I texted him. So I go over his house and the cars in the driveway, no lights running the house, and I knock on the door and his little bulldog mastiff, one of those whatever, comes to the door and slamming into the glass door. I'm I'm hitting the doorbell, so the door's going Don's going crazy and I'm banging on the glass and I'm I go outside, blow my horn, you know, Brooklyn style, even the Italian doorbell. Nothing. So

I call him again, I text him again, nothing. I'm in front of his house for fifteen minutes, ringing the bell. He said he'd be home. His car's there after almost twenty minutes. I've gone back to my car I come back in the car. He comes out like he had been drinking for a month, unshaven, his hair's a mess, He's in a ratty white T shirts hanging out of his sweatpants. Are you I'm thinking? He has like like he's sick. I'm like, hey, man, if I woke up, I'm so sorry. He's like, I didn't. I didn't any

of the doorbell. Are you okay? I had headphones on. Will you listen to music? No? Man? Like eight o'clock at night. I started playing Red Dead, Red Dead Redemption too, and I this is the first time talking to anybody. He was playing and playing online. He got caught up in the gate. He he was He went twelve thirteen, almost fifteen hours. Oh god. His wife went to bed,

got up, went out for Saturday to go shopping. Didn't bother him because he was in his room fifteen hours when he finally heard the dog barking and me banging on the door. He had completely zoned out in the game. He got it Friday Friday night. He went in start playing it, got locked into it. I can't believe. But who does that? You know me? That's why I won't do it? What is pants along the way. I don't know. I don't know. I guess you can pause the game or run into a like a safe room or something.

I don't know how to play the game. I don't know. Yeah, and yeah, so anyway, that's crazy. There should be like a PlayStation pampers yeah, poop station yea ex bowl have to write that stop. You don't have to leave the game at all. Oh my god, PlayStation two. You taking number two right there, right there? Yeah, so that's that's why I can't play those games. He's like, you gotta come up and play. I'm I'm not doing it. Honik will be over by the time I get out of here. Yes,

you stay away from video games and liquor. Yeah, same thing. I'd probably have a problem with liquor if I you know, but I don't drink it. Yeah, that's why staring from Eminem's one Eminem, I'm screwing now. You and I don't drink. He used to drink for the longest time. He drank alcoholic beer, not not coholic. He got Buckler. You weren't a fan of Hennessey ever. Wow, okay, and I'll be leaving now. You just wanted to no no, no, no, no. What you meant to say was Henny, Henny is what

you want to say? Or some hypnotic or you know whatever? You know who you should drink that and lover and always Okay, I was that age. I always wanted to drink blue things. Yeah, you know, and I thought hypnotic was a cool drink. But by the time I came of age to drink, I couldn't drink it. It's just nasty. Get scared. I gotta ask him if he drinks No, no, no, no, no, that's you know, that's you the yak. That's about the crunk juice. Wow, crunk juice. That's that's three calling you

what what? Al right? Before he offends you any longer? You stopping? I need to understand if it's your first time listening to us here listening in order, you have to realize that Spruce and Spruce and Brody have been friends forever and I've been friends with how many it's been over decades? Yeah we know, so so we can you know we joke like that, Yeah, yeah, you joke. Yeah right. Hey, listen, you're the one who said I have brother rhythm. Come on, there you go. I pounded

his fist. Yeah, Dr Joyce Brother, that's brother, typewriter. It's less, there's less terms with pounding fists. It's the best way to do it. Chest bumping, pounding fists best this time of season rather than shaking hands. Can we talk about did change topics for a second? Speaking of this time of year, people are asking us, Hey, what's the next special for Alma Steaks? What's the next deal? So here's

the deal. Just so you know, Alma Steaks, they belonged to a they worked with a company that that that got advertising on this podcast. They are no longer with the company that gets us advertising for the podcast. So yes, so the up and it still gets as advertised as we love them. Uh should we mention the name? That's all right? Good company anyway, at Almaha Steaks is no longer working with them, and so at the moment, they're no longer working with us. Now, if you would like

them too, as we would, feel free to tweet them. Yeah, tweet at Omaha Steaks. You guys are match made in half. You guys they talk about steak every week. Hold on, and it's not because we didn't do well. You guys bought a lot of Almaha Steaks. That was our most successful campaign in my eyes, all because people were sending us their screenshots and you know, Almaha Steaks is one of those things automatically you go get me. She had

to see them go. But if you if you keep tweeting the company directly, maybe they'll find a way to get back with us, with the new agency that they're with, and whatever the deal is, you know, we'd love to share that, you know, special Brooks. We don't know what's going on, and we really thought they were going to hold any more time because you know whatever. But it's all so it is the holiday season and everyone's watching holiday specials. And I gotta tell you something that my

girlfriend's object to me to the other night. And you can call me a pussy all you want, Brodie, oh I will. But it was Sunday Funday football on TV. I was watching Football Night in America. I was in my bed, she was next to me. Don't buy into the average Sunday night. Don't call it football night in America. That's what it was called, just Sunday night football whatever. And I gotta tell you, I do not like the

new carry Underwood song. No, I think it's okay. I thought that the parody that she did the last five years was that was a pink song? No, was it pink? Pink to the song? I liked her, she did the parody, and then um, I didn't like I like to carry Underwood song the last couple of years was okay, I don't like the new one. I've been waiting all day for Sunday night. That was I but that was a poorly written parody. Still was catchy anyway. I was watching it and then all of a sudden, she's like, can

we tearn to something else on during the commercials? But changed the channel, and that was the biggest mistake. You can't change the channel. Oh look, A very Brady Christmas is on from and I'm like, oh joy, something like all right to three minutes, I'll watch this thing because they're in a commercial, whatever the case. All of a sudden, it's like eight minutes in and I'm like, oh my god, the game's back on. They gotta flip over. No, you

can't change it right now. I ended up going down this rabbit hole, this hellish vortex, this black hole called a very Brady Christmas. Okay, at least she didn't put the Hallmark channel on. Good God, listen. I loved the Brady Bunch in its day, you know, because I was a kid. I was okay with the shallow storylines and the bad acting. But man oh man, this reunion movie that they made back in it, everyone but Jan none

the whole new cast. It was the entire show. Uh. Cindy Brady was played by someone else because she was on her honeymoon at the time. So what a dog of of of of a movie it was. It was so low budget. First of all, the continuity problems were awful, Like they would show the whole cast arriving conveniently. By the way, they all arrived to the Christmas at the Bradys like within two or thirty seconds of each other.

That was here. It was allegedly the original house. They probably built a set for it to make it look like but it was all like look had thrown up? Was Robert Reid still there? Everybody was. Everybody was dropping like flies. They were looking great. Everybody was looking pretty decent. They were looking older. But the point is, so, you know, it was really the oldest four are all passed away, right? Well? Andy Davis, the Butcher was dead Spoilers and the Dead. Yeah,

and obviously just recently passed away. Robert Reid died of AIDS and everybody else's alive. In fact, the Oliver he probably wasn't on the the in fact that they're talking about having a reboot next year, The Brady, the Brady Kids, they're gonna be doing the original Cat the six Kids, They're gonna be doing something so that. I guess. So

I rant about Barry Williams lately. Yeah. So the point is I was so, I was watching it and I'm like, oh god, it's just so dumb, Like, you know, they each arrive at the Brady House like twenty They're all flying in from all over the country to be there for Christmas, and twenty seconds later, oh Jan's here, Oh here's Bobby. Like but it's so stupid. It's like, oh yeah, you all all your flights arrived at the same time, and you're all like conveniently dirty seconds from each other.

And they all arrived at the house. But you see, like Barry Williams, like Greg, you know, closed the door and then all of a sudden they cut away and they cut back and the doors open and Bobby walks through it. I'm like, Greg closed the door, but the doors open and then dude, but that that there was like three or four times the door was open and you were missing a football game. I know, I know. And I'm sitting there looking for inconsistencies. That was the

Chargers game. Yeah, it was. I was just I couldn't believe it. I'm like, this is so trite, this is it was poorly written, it was poor acting, cheap comedy.

And then all of a sudden they're all sitting at the table and and Mr Brady is cutting the turkey, carving it up, and all of a sudden he has to run down to the UH to the construction site because two of the guys in a project that he put together, we're stuck inside the freaking building and something collapsed and he ran in after that was the tiki doll that they had to and he runs in after them, and then the two guys come out, all covered and soot, and then Mr Brady doesn't come out, and then all

of a sudden, Oh my god, is he ever gonna make it out? Is he gonna make it out? And what happened? Don't keep me in suspense of course, but of course hours had gone by and there was police line, do not crossing. The whole family was there meeting. It was like the charges one. By the way, Hey, thanks. The point is some of these movies that we loved his kids, that you see as adult TV, well you know, but but I say it was for different strokes. The

other day I couldn't believe I watched an episode. Do you know they were just Harry Coleman. I'll tell you what's the worst, the worst, And if you've seen it or you've heard about it, you know what I'm talking about. Of course, obviously the Star Wars holiday special seventies seven or eight. How cheeky and cheesy is it? So it was right after the first Star Wars was made, I believe, um, and it's it's supposed to be about Chewbacca's family, and uh,

it's horrific. They got the cast from Star Wars. So Harrison Ford and they're all in there, Mark Hamill and uh you know Princess Leiah. Yeah there's people. Yeah, terrible, and they they got they got paid for it. I'm sure they got got big bucks to do that. But what Harry Fisher about So they're all in it. It's horrifically bad, horrific and like the first minute or two is actual like but it looks like Star Wars. They're in a real ship and it, you know, really real

looking shop. Don't you remember there as a kid really loving it, like shows that were on like Give Me a Break and Silver Spoon with delving into a really old time period. Isn't going to the eighties. We're just saying a lot just doesn't hold up. Now you go back to you see some of these things on like TV Land or whatever. She holds up nothing, you know what holds friends held up? Seinfeld holds up. Okay, I was gonna say, Seinfeld, here's the problem with Seinfeld. I

think it's still brilliant comedy. The problem is eight of the plots don't work now because cell phone. I know, because we have cell phones. But they can't find a car in the parking garage there go to the wrong movie theater. At that time there were no cell phones, right, but no, they were cordless phones with big intent is

on them, and Jerry had one in his apartment. But but what I'm what I'm getting at Also the office to the office, Yes, but in the me Too movement, that show could never be brought back true because Michael Scott would have been when hauled off, they would have meat too in his ask every episode, Yeah, he says they're ugly and makes sexual comments to everybody. But at least the writing was great on shows like Seinfeld in the Office. But but were you when there wasn't a

Gill against Island. It wasn't supposed to be good. But the thing is, But that's the thing. When I was a kid, I was the brain of a k and so while you were beat boxing in between you beat boxing, that's what your brain thought. You thought you were a good beat boxer, which we know you were not. You thought that The Brady Bunch was a quality television show. I mean, it was kitchy, it was fun. But remaking and making movies that that was that was a money grab.

Money grab. But nothing is worse than Star Wars Holiday Special. And it's on YouTube. You can watch it. It's online. You can find it horrific. So are there Yeah? I guess so. But it's just so funny how your perspective is so different back then to now because and I'm like, what was I thinking? As a kid loving different strokes. I mean it was so so corny facts of life. That's get off these shows? Man? Is it way before most of the people listening this bullshit? And I know

some of you are in their thirties. I don't doesn't matter how old they are. Just doesn't matter how old I really think that these shows or whatever. The point is you grew up on those shows and then I was really young when you both were. That's something. The point is that they don't translate well. But if you watch talk about full House, of how people know full House because they did watch the second one. We went and watch the first one, fuller House. I didn't watch

full House. Full House another show where it's cute, but like you, like, what was I thinking watching this every week? You were not ever the target audience. I know I wasn't, but I watched it, but I was. I was in my twin. The bottom line is, don't let your girlfriend turn off football or here's an idea in general, not just you get a girlfriend of legs football or a wife makes life easier. She hates it. Like three games, we gotta watch three games today and I have direct TV.

I watch them all dude, one four and eight done, gotta have not Red Zone channel. So about the Red Zone channel? You watch Red Zone Red Zone all day, all day, one o'clock Direct TV. How do you keep track of that SCEP? What well? I mean, you know

because all that ships going on. They take you to this game and they're like, because they go to any game that they has line a twenty yard line in the red zone, or they'll show you split screen, a triple screen, and if you miss something from another game, they immediately go to and going if you just missed it, here's the long touchdown. And if you like, if you like,

if you have Fantasy football, this is not a sponsor. Uh. Seven h four is the Fantasy Channel with my friend Kay Adams who hosts that show with um oh, you are so the strikeout with Guru Fantasy Guru. You are that, you're the problem. You are the problem. You're ESPN in first. No, No, because becautas watch a game for three hours and invest in it. I do. I'm a Jets fan. That answers your question. I can't see, you can't see watch. You can't watch other teams for three hours. I can watch

other teams. I'll watch monther night football. I'll watch seven night football. But if they're if they're in America, hold on, stop it. If there are eight games going on, I'm not gonna sit and watch the Falcons game. Just I'm randomly picking a team, no offense, uh and and sit there and watch when I don't care about the Falcons. Now, if it's a great team, if it's the Rams or the or the Chiefs right now, I'll watch them. But the red zone brings me to the action. I don't

miss anything. I don't miss a touchdown, and I'm playing fantasy football, so it helps me by watching all the other I got a lot to complain about, and I think, go for it. I think I got a couple of things on my list here. Remember as my as my great grandmother said, you gotta let it out. I'm talking about gas though. Yeah. Otherwise it's gonna go. It's gonna go right up to your brain. So let's travel back into your body. Let me update you on the couch story.

So if you remember from a few episodes ago, because you listen in order, I told you about the couch fiasco where they gave me tempesting off my entire order. Um, because they brought the wrong chair. And then they brought me a new chair, and I kept that one too because they didn't have to pay the delivery fate. So I made it like a bandit. So I get the bill in the mail, and the bill says it shows you the breakdown. It says couch whatever. The couch costs

ten percent off, no problem. Then it says the chair. Now we put an oversized chair, which is like a chair and a half. It's like a minuture couch. Like a chase. No, a chase. You know what a chase is. It's the L part of a sofa. Yeah, it's that. It's not it's that. No, No, it's not. It's no, it's not. It's the long part you put your feet up that the L part, Yes, the part where yeah, but you can have it. You can have all across and then you can have enough that you lay you

lay straight with you. Yeah, it's not necessarily the L part. It's just it could be the L part. You can have a chase on a straight couch. Now it makes an L. I get that, but that's at the point of my story. The point of my story is that the oversized chair. I'll tell you for the sake of the story with seven fifty dollars right right, So on the breakdown of my discount ten percent office, how much scary they gave me fifty three dollars. Oh, because they

did it after tax. No, no, no, after tax would be more money. Seven fifty dollars was the flat price in the chair. No, before tax. They should have given me seventy five dollars off for some crazy reason. Fifty dollars off. So I get the bill. I called them last night. You can really chasing a dollar. You throwing twollars around. I'll tell you what, next time I'll call you. You can give me twenty dollars since it's meaningless to you rich guy like yourself, single, and I won't have

to call them. Truth is, I'll still call him and get forty four dollars. Okay, So I called him up. I tell the guy listen, uh that it says to put in your your social city number and you know, and it pulls up your sipts. Someone I call, he's got all my information. Yeah, I got it right here, got the couch in the chair, the chair and a half. I said, yeah, I got temper cent off because it was a problem with the delivery. Um, where who did you speak to? I don't know. It was a month ago.

You see it on my bill, he says, Yeah, the couch yep, blah blah blah off for the couch yep, temper cent yep. And the chair he said, yeah, yeah, temp sent off there. I said, so. Yeah, so clearly on the bill somebody gave me temperason off. Right, Yeah, what's problem? Well, the problem is on the chair. I didn't get temper sent off, he says. He was. I'm looking at it. You got Tempson off. I said, um no,

I'm trying to be dice. Yeah, I said, switch yet. Yeah, so I said, it's seven fifty chair, ten percent of that take a to zero off real easy. Moved to decimal point one, notch seventy right, you gave me fifty three fifty three, not seventy five f No, he goes, um, let me let me see this home and he now he has to add the couch and the chair and then do the math to make sure I got I go, dude, I don't understand why you're doing the math here. The couch.

Let's let's say, for the sake of the conversation. The couch was eleven d and okay, all right, it was at EXE, so, uh that would be a hundred and fourteen dollars, right, So I said, it's clear it's ten percent off the couch. You don't need to add them together. It's ten percent off of eleven forty. I got the one fourteen and ten percent off the seven fifty is seventy five. Hold on, I gotta put it. I gotta add up total bill. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

you don't eleven forty ten percent off. He goes, I gotta see what temper off the that you were engaging in some kind of trickery or some kind of Jedi. Actually, he actually says to me, I gotta see what tempercent off the total bill is, dude, ten percent off the steak and ten percent off the potatoes is the same. Aim is temperton off the steak and the potatoes. Like you not making any sense, sees, I gotta put you on hold. Okay, comes back and he says, I think

you might be right. I gotta get a supervisor. So I say, a supervisor to approve it, or supervisor to confirmed the math both? Are you fucking kidding me. He should have just lied to you at this point and said, look, yeah, give me to understand. No, he tells me both. He puts the hold again. I'm sitting in the car. The matter to you as long as you get as long as you get to the rest of your money. Mom On,

I got my daughter in the car. I'm driving. I want to talk to her, right but I was on hold a half hour on my way to pick her up. So I'm still on the phone. I wouldn't made the call, and these people put you on hold just to funk with you. I was very polite to this guy, Kevin. That was his name, by the Kevin. So he gets back on the phone. He says, I'm gonna credit your account twenty two dollars. So I said, make it twenty five. He says, what I go round it up because this

is a long phone call. This is Brodie's way in great soda. Yeah, this is you. Gas on the guy. I went easy on the guy. Why did you charge him an extra three bucks because he had put me on hold? Come on, bro because he's beat a man, bull ship the funk out of here. Now, I couldn't you know what man, this is what This is what makes me hate if I was trying to steal three dollars from the guy. Okay, first of all, your money

and how much is my time worth? It was a half hour phone call you, so you're saying you you get you need free dessert in the phone three dollars. I said it as a joke, hoping he'd go for it. You know, like when you go, oh, take me to dinner and someone goes okay. So I said, why don't you make it three? Because I I you put me on hold, was trying to get more. They give you a finger, you take the hold? What have I got your money back on? What have I told? On? Listeners?

So I had to wear there? Where is there the in this specific case must nine at a time? Times? I always agree with you on the free dessert? Tell was but you're being petty. I'll tell you why why not go for front No no, no, no, give me car Nope. I didn't need that because I got no no. So then you're arguing over three bucks. I'm not arguing over it. Listen to me. When I called, they said

you're wait time will be approximately thirty minutes. So are you charging like you know what the thirty minutes was. It was twelve minutes roughly of Christmas songs that were on a loop, and you celebrating hanakah, Hey rerollvant. I like Christmas songs. I'm not gonna hear honakah song, but I'm not gonna put on by the way they should were. You're offended by the christmasmus I'm not offended by it. Okay,

So you charged him. The fact is they couldn't. There's enough Christmas music that if I'm gonna be on the hold for a half hour, they could have put an hour of Christmas music on. They put twelve minutes of Christmas music on and they fucking looped it. You looped it. You looped it, So okay, so you're on. And then I had to argue with the guy, not argue, but like convince him, what you know what, that's your penalty for not knowing what ten percent and seven seven dollars is.

So it's just stupid tax. You're charging him, charging him with stupid tax. But I didn't want to, Like, if I gave him ten dollars, he would have to do the math, mind blown, So you wanted gave him an easy number, so I said, you know, you know my trouble just chokingly around. I go, we're good, right, We're good right? So he goes, yes, all right, okay, twenty five bucks. So I'm just saying, you got fucking balls, bro, do at my three dollars. That's sic. Always wanting more,

always trying. Why should I live life wanting less more? Why should I live life wanting less? I'm just saying, did you tell your TV story that on the podcast yet? Which one was afraid? There is our TV set? Yeah? I did. I feel like I did. Yeah, you're broken TV. I said you should probably get money back, but I wanted to talk about the broken. So just reset for those in the case you forgotten because you don't listen in order quick version of the story. Here's a quick version.

I basically got a TV that was a Lemon so um I based it was Panasonic and really piste off Panasonic. So I called Panasonic and they Panasonic again. Well, I'm not going too They're not a sponsor and I don't care. They don't make TVs in America, And that's what they said. They said, They've got to be honest, we have no use for the TV didn't. We used to have a receptionist who said, who wasn't she used to work with us.

She had she was um, she had a flat tire down the street and I'm like, where are you and she's like, I'm at the building. The building had the big Panisana said I'm at the pass buildings anyway. So they don't make Panaseni TVs in America. I got a guy, a corporate dude, because I went all the way to the top right when brody. Because I went all the way all the way up, nothing could stop me, nothing could stop And the guy on the phone said, I gotta be honest. We're out of the TV market in America.

We are Panislana only TVs in Canada and around the world, but not in the United States. That's a fact, ladies and gentlemen. They don't make TVs anymore in America. So as a result, he was you know what, and I said, it was out of warranty. But it's been a lemon the whole time, and it was more off than it was on. I never got to use the damn TV when it was under warranty. Even though it's out of warranty. Helped me out, and he said, you know what, we're going to give you a gift card for half the

price of the TV. And not a gift card, we're gonna give you cash a check for five hundred dollars. Four knew how much you paid for it because they looked up my bill. I submitted it and they verified it. I got the serial number it was registered. Be honest, here's the honesty. Hold on, if they didn't have your TV record how much you paid for it, would you have embellished a little bit, a little bit? Maybe maybe we're good right best be like, yeah it was, but anyway,

it was. I was getting this without proof. So he's like, you know what, Okay, I see that's what you paid for it on this date. We're gonna send you four hundred and get ahead, go buy yourself an LG or Samsung. So I said really, so yeah, he goes, yeah, I mean listen, he goes, we don't do TVs in America anymore. And oh, by the way, the TV that you have just you know, just junk it or whatever. And that's where I have a problem. To throw stuff out. It's

hard to part with old electronics. And I talked about this slightly on the Big Show. I got in my house, you do and Elvis. Elvis said this on the air today. So I was telling the story real quick of how I you know, how I got you know, I'm getting a new I got this new TV and I and I wheeled it out. I said, a buddy of mine, help me get the TV off the wall. And and because I'll take it. And I'm like, take it? What do you want to take it for? He thought it was you Brody, that was it was it Brody who

wanted the TV. I'll tell that story why he thought that. Go ahead, so I said, I said, listen, I said to my but it happened to be my doorman who worked with me, and it works with me and my my where I lived. And he goes, I'll take it. I said, but dude, you have to you have to say something. It works for like twenty minutes and it shuts off. It's it's malfunctioning. There's no fix to it. It's he goes, I don't worry about I'm the towing in the kid's room. The kids watch TV for twenty

minutes they should be watching TV. Won't do that anyway, It'll shut off and I'll come in the room, I'll turn it back on again. I'm like, listen, man, you don't want this problem on your hand. It's a it's Panasonic, it's out of warranty. Yes, it's a four K Ultra Smart t V from two thousand sixteen. But it's a fucking lemon, a lemon meaning it doesn't work and never did. You got a bad You've got a bad piece of electronics on your hands. You know what he tells me, Oh,

you know what to do. I'm gonna check it. I'm gonna turn it over. I'm gonna unscrew it. I know a guy who could work on the motherboard a little bit. If he knows. The guy like it's more trouble than it's worth. It's not. But then he's got no you paid a thousand for it, but now now it's worth nothing. Well, it's probably worth five six. He's gonna pay three hundred dollars to get the thing. Is everybody, And my point was everyone has someone in their life that's a junk

collector or an electric old electronics collector. You have to at some point look at the electronics and be like, this is outdated, this is obsolutely, or this is broken, it's it's not fixable, or it's gonna cost more money than it takes to fix. Throw the fucking thing out. But but the guy wanted it, so he's like, you know what, I'm taking it. I'm like, okay, if it makes your day, but you've been this is gonna cause

you adja I do, yeah, anxiety. It's gonna cause your stress because I don't want us put us take a sledgehammer to it when it goes off after twenty minutes. But he took it. He took my old Try the way that's not what I did with Elvis is telling you take old junk. You take old junk. Lay was accused you of hoarding old junk. Hold on, it's not junk. And you see, here's the thing. When you are when you grow up U in middle class family like I did, agree to blue collar you you eat leftover right well

in apotment building for me. You you you eat leftovers. You love leftovers. You always clean your plate with this food and you always take home left over from a restaurant. You never leave leftovers because that's another meal right there. You don't waste money. That's where you are you just that's what you learned, Like you don't turn on the heat until it's lower than thirty degrees, Thank you dad. Yeah, Elvis did not grow up that way. Okay, our Bostrom

the other Strand Morning show. And he does very well for himself. He's earned it. He does very well, certainly better than we do, which is fine. And so he moved out of his apartment in Manhattan to another apartment in Manhattan. And when he moved he wanted all new TVs. He wanted a new technology, which I totally get. So he wanted to move in. How old was the old technology that was on his wall? Okay? So he says to me, Yeah, I'm leaving the old TVs. So I said,

what how old did they? I know he's not he doesn't have old TVs. He doesn't have square TVs. So I said how what kind of TVs? He says, Oh, they're Panasonic, I think, he said, But it's too much of a hassle to take him off the wall. They're old. I don't want him. So I said, whoa how big are they? So he says, I got a forty and fifty and a sixty the forties in the guest room the fifties in the bedroom, master bedroom in the sixty

was in the living room. So I said, uh, so he goes, yeah, I don't know if there're any good all the electronics. Yeah, I guess. So this was two thousand right fourteen maybe fourteen. So uh I saw. He says, you're gonna need help do a little heavy. I said, no problem. So Spruce came with me. We go to his older TV. First troubles. I asked him he sai didn't need a TV. I said, you want the forty because not don't need a TV? Did you tip him? I bought him. I bought him dinner on like you

and I bought him. I bought him to lunch. Salt in that wound, don't you okay? So I took care of him from for his help. So the forty inch TV comes off the wall, no problem. Now keep in mind this is two thousand nine TVs, so they have like the big black frame around them, not like now where it's like a half inch frame. Maybe so you can tell by a TV what here it was one on my wall. Sam sung from two thousand nine with the big black frame right, okay, still flat panel but

they're all flat panel. Now. Okay, so it's got the giant black frame because that's what the technology was, the speakers whatever. So the fifty it took a while. And get the fifty off the wall. It's like a hundred hundred pounds. The heavy TV. Now the TVs are like fourteen pounds. Fifteen pounds. No, oh yeah, This LG thing I bought was a piece of glass relaxed with Hit the jingle, j get the jingle. LG's a client for you.

Hit the jingle, hit the jingy. Not cool? Okay, By the way, I owe you three jingles from the fifteen minute morning show, the upstring fifty minute morning show last week. You slipped the double clients on the same sentence. I'm not gonna bring that up. You know that's landing on a triple words score. You double sponsored. I yelled, I yelled, hit the jingle twice, but one center didn't slick. All right,

So then we go into the living room. The sixty inch television now it has like a five inch frame around it, and now it's like a seventy inch television and it's not thin. It's a heavy TV. It's thick. It was not two thousand nine. But it's an elite TV. This is a Panasonic Elite. If you look its time, it was it was the top of the line television. It was the one where, like at electronic stores, you would go in the back room and they had to like the little room of the special TVs, the fifty

and the sixty where the Panasonic Elite. How did those stand up here in two eighteen, Well they look good, not compared to an old lad Or or a q lad a q L E D rather Yeah, because those the black is black dot. Stopping with that, stopping with those televisions. Okay. So by the way, Panasonic Pete did not come through with me on those TVs. Okay, so that's why he's l g P. Now the I it was in context of our conversation. You're not getting a jingle on that one. Not cool? Steal a jingle, all right.

So we take all the cables out of the back this television. I'll tell you how much it weighted. Afterwards we were we struggled because you have to lift it up off the bracket and down, so up up was unbelievable. Down to keep it from slamming to the ground. Was unbearable. The spruce says to me, maybe you don't want the TV. This is ridiculous. I had taken my my my wife and I used to have a second call. Hard call

was a minivan. We brought the minivan right, We're like, okay, we gotta get the TV and I gotta get the TV and the free t V. I take it. I said, this thing is worth a lot of money, and I don't I need a TV in one of my rooms. And this is a sixty in television. And this was like when the TV's were medium heavy, right, So the TV we're taken is heavy, heavy, but it wasn't like now with like paper. So we struggled to get this thing out, struggle to get it out, finally get it

in the car. My wrists hurts, my everything hurts. We banged it on our feet to keep it from hitting the ground. The three TVs home. I put the forty up, no problem. The fifty, the TV from two thousand thirteen or fourteen, sat in my home office on the floor since then. I mounted it this past weekend four and a half years roughly because I needed someone to come over and help me lift it up on the wall. It's gonna get a dinosaw by the time you take it down. I want to sell it. So here's the thing.

The sixty inch TV Spruce doesn't live in New Jersey. So I have to get my friend Jeff, who came on the cruise with us. We've mentioned Jeff on the on the podcast before. So Jeff comes over my house and they sees the TV. I put the bracket on the wall. Now we look up the TV model. It's two eleven pounds, right, So I had to put upside down garbage pails on the floor of my my den so that we could lift it up and put it

on top of the garbage pails to rest. And now I'm thinking myself, I know why Elvis left him on the wall, because even if the moving men did it, real men, not like me, real strong moving men types, they would have punched him for making them move this TV. I don't know how he got on the wall. Must have been five people. How does the bracket hold it falling? Because if you put the bracket enough enough of the wood stud nails and deep enough into the studs in

your wall, it goes in. It holds it. So it took it took like, I don't know, half hour to get it up on the wall, and then I realized it's so flushed against the wall because these TVs are designed, probably in two thousand nine to sit on a stand so you can access the back of it. Well, Elvis, okay me, I have every box of every TV. I have a bought in the attic. I have all the stands if they're on the wall. I kept the stands right. Alvis didn't keep stands. He put them on the wall.

He's like, what do I need those stands for. I'm never gonna put them on a piece of furniture. You're up on the wall, so I didn't have the option of just putting it on a table. I should and maybe I should go to my uh the trash room, hold on of my apartment money because I literally just this morning they're worth a hundred dollars each at least on eBay. Are you serious? Because people can't get them. You can sell everything, everything is valuable. Put him over

by the garbage. I'm like, I'm I'm never calling the doorman. But other people might want to put them on a piece of furniture. But then they didn't. Did TV come with it. Yeah, but if they threw it out or they bought it used. Man, Okay, okay, we get this TV on the wall. The TV gets on the wall finally, and then I realized all of the HDMI ports to put the cables are flat against the wall now, and if we tipped the TV forward, it'll fall off the wall. So we had to lift it back off the wall

to put all the cables in. You got a lifetime of workouts in there. So yes, the bottom line is I still love the TV, but now I bought a new TV. I moved my living room TV, which is also a five inch frame, but has a stand that I never mounted on the wall. That's now down in my living room. Elvis's old TV Skary is so big. Not only is it sevent screen, but it's he bought the extra speakers, the giant speakers that clip on the side, so it's the speakers are a foot wide and and

about five ft high like the TV. So the TV is like eight and a half feet wide with the speakers. So it's on the wall. Okay, So now I've got the TV from my living room with the base on it that I want to put down there. Elvis's old TV is so old and powerful that if I turn it on and I plug in anything else in the room. So I have like a little um a piece of furniture with a fake fireplace so like it looks like it's flamed, but it's not, but it warms the room.

The kids can't go in the room it's so cold in the winter, and they can't turn the fireplace on because the TV blows the fuse and put the fireplace on. So now I'm trying to sell the TV on Facebook and on Craigslist. Who's coming to my house for an almost ten year old television at weighs two hundred and eleven pounds. You should put it on eBay and and say free shipping, right yea. So I'm almost to the point where I want to call like a charity to come get it, but I don't know if they'll take

it off the wall and take the TV. So now you remember, and Jeff isn't gonna take it off the wall already told me I'm not touching that TV again. So we put the fifty inch up this weekend, right, I told you that, And and we put it up and we quickly ran out because we had to put the new TV's in my kid's room. They got small TVs for the kids and they weigh like five pounds each. So um. When he left, I realized theft old television from Elvis is about a foot too high. So I

call him. I go, we got moved the TV down. He goes, fuck you, that TV is over a hundred pounds. You're gonna wait. So I got one more story for you if I may. And did you have a story? No, no, no, I'm good. I want to tell you about the TV. So he came over a month ago to hang that TV. I had put the bolts in, hung the bracket perfectly where I wanted it. It would have been too high

because I realized it was too high. Now I realized it was too high, and he we put the TV on the wall and like what you said, it pulled the bracket out of the wall. If I didn't buy the right screws, so they didn't grip the studs. Right, Okay, So he says to me, before we hang this TV Saturday, right, he says, let's go to the hardwist store and get the right screws. I said, I, but we're in a

hurry because we gotta get all these TVs hung. I said, look, we can go to home depot that has everything, but that's fifteen minutes away. I'm gonna name names here. There's an ACE Hardwist store as the place the helpful hardware man spat. The helpful hardware man doesn't work there anymore. They need to change the jingle helpless the Ace Hardware near my house not a sponsor, has never had a salesperson on the floor, never had a person on the floor that I go in there where you can find

anybody to help you, nobody. There's a reason, right if you live in a town where you don't have a home depot, you need to move. If you have an ACE Hardware, maybe your town is better, but in my town for ship. Okay, So I go in and I'm looking at there's like that row of buckets, like that row of little cups, and each cup has a has a picture of a screw and it shows you the screw and the nails and the screws all in this

isle of fasteners. Okay, So I'm looking for one that's long enough, wide enough for this hundred twenty pound fifty television that Elvis gave me for free, which, by the way, free isn't free, because this thing is a nightmare and it's costing your money. Now, now wait a minute, it didn't cost me anything. I bought a couple of screws for a couple of hours. Doesn't matter. The TV looks great, even even two thousand nine, and it's still a good looking TV, not like the new ones, but still really

good HDTV. So I can't figure out which screw to get. They don't sell like TV mounting screws that God forbid they did that. They make a lot of money. Don't leave it up the chance TV mounting screws. So Jeff goes to the cashier. There's two kishiers, an old guy and a young guy. And the young guy goes, oh no, and the old guy says, I hold on, and he walks off the line. There's a line of people buying stuff,

three guys. He goes, hold back, I'll right back. So he comes to help us, and the line is getting longer. He has to go to like we got a cashier to the front rock front car, front Rocker because he walked away from the line. Bad customer service for them, good customer service for me. So he's looking and he goes, I don't know, maybe this one, maybe that one. I don't know. You don't know. You're the helpful hardware man.

What do you mean you don't know? The place with the healthful hardware man pace is the place with the cashier doesn't know what he's doing. So he's like, I don't know, maybe this one. I don't know. I gotta go. I gotta back on the register because his replacement never showed up. So he's like, I don't know. One of these three maybe, So I go online and look it up. I match it up whatever. We're like, these look good.

We get as thick as we can because the heavyest television set, and we pick out two different types of screws, no, three different types, because we're like, we don't know which ones. How long are they gonna need to be, how thick? Whatever? So I buy the really thick ones, the medium, and then the longer ones. They didn't have one like thick and long. Hate when that happens. So I go to the register. This is where it gets good. The older

guy now has gone on a break. He's gone. I went on the guy on the line for the young guy. And as as I get to the register, an old guy and his older wife come in there. Because it's right by the front door. They walk in, he's got a key in his hand. Now behind the cashier is a key making machine and two towers of keys, so that when he's got downtime he can the keys right. Whereas in home depot there's like a key stand and when you need a key, you tell somebody to go.

We got a key maker. The key department players key maker. So the cashier here doubles as the key making persons. Right, what if? What if? There's a long line of right and if you and if you want a key? Now the cashier has is taking his time making a key. Will the linebacks up? Major? Key? Right? Thank you? Another one? So the guy goes. He interrupts me. Now, but you know what, you know what like you just want to ask to kiss your question? You need the side cut in. Yeah, right,

it's not it's a chisel. I just have five second question. I'm sorry he just had you want this line because I got a five second ques and I don't want to wain a line of case. You don't think i'd help me, so you do then that goes okay, I'm okay with that, right, I don't have a problem with that. So the guys holding up the key and he's standing a foot and a half from the counter looking at the guy, and he goes, uh, that's a hardware store.

And behind the guy to key making machine with a big key on it and two towers of keys, and he says, um, do you make keys here? I want an idiot, what the fuck are you doing? Do you make keys here? Do you make keys here? Hey? Haling hearty soup? Do you guys make soup? It's a hardware store. The key machine is behind him, The spindles of keys are behind him. Do you make keys here? Not? Where do I go for keys? Do? I wait? Online? Do

you make keys here at the hardware store? With the key machine behind you and two spindles and fucking blank keys? So I turned him and I go key harrass what? And he was want to go? Those towers might be I said to the kish here, I went like this, I hold my beer and I went you see the key machine and the two If the guy wore a sign that said asked me about making keys, it couldn't have been more obvious. The guy looks like like I didn't like he has me I didn't know face, like

the masses are asses. It gets worse. So the guy walks away and I see it. So he gets on the end of the line. So I say to the cashier, could the key towers behind you have been more of a clue? Right? Uh? And he looks at me goes, oh, yeah, I guess so yeah. Oh my god, he didn't get the joke right. So I don't get that you were trying to try, right, Like what an idiot? Right? And right? Okay,

So I put the screws down on the counter. Now, when you go to home depot and you bring a brick or a piece of landscaping like a tile, right, they open up their little book, uh with laminated pages, right with cheat protectors or whatever, and there's pictures of all of the items, right, and there's usually a skew on it, but if not, they look in the book and they go match up the screw, match up the type of tile or brick, and they know they putting

the coat and they ring you up. So the guy looks at me and he goes, uh, how much of the screws? So I said, what He says, yeah, how much of the screws? I said, you're the cash here, Yeah, I don't how much the screws are? I go, well, look up the codes, look in your book. He's I'll have a book. I need you to go and tell me what the prices are. So is it the honor system? So yeah, so I say, you got the funk. Wait

a minute, I don't work here. And you know how I know I don't work here because I'm on the sales floor and if I was on the floor, you don't have anybody on the floor. So that's how I know I don't work here. Because there's no helpful hardware man, I said, said, Now you want me to walk back to the screw and nut the fastener aisle and find the three buckets again and match up the screws with the pictures, because somehow I work here. Now I'm the helpful out ware man. He wants me to go back

and look at the price. I said, so much, So Jeff says to him, they're all negative fifty dollars. You owe me a hundred and fifty dollars through three screws. Good? Whatever it was. The guys, I don't get it. The guy didn't get the joke that the screws are negative. I think we got like twelve, so whatever, So we should be paying you because you're working now. Yeah. Now he used me to go back to the screw while so I I go, is there someone on the floor that can help me? He says, no, of course not.

It's Ace fucking Hardware. It should be a hardly anybody here where because there's nobody there. Why are they empty? They used to be on by Sears I think, or they own by Sears at one point. Whatever, Now that there's somebody else there, like Cotillios, Ace Hardware is a name in front of it because Sears spun them off, because Sears in the toilet, because they didn't never have any sales people either in the hardware section. I thought home Depot was bad. Home Depot usually has like three

people for the football field store. This place says nobody. So I had to go back because I hanging the television, said ter. Now, had I bought a new TV set, it would have come with screws and and I would have bought the mounting mounting plate would have come. But I had hope it's his old outing plate. Then I have the screws because I took him off the wall. I lost them from five years ago. My fault. I

get it. But this son of a bitch wanted me to walk all the way back Andrew, by the way, in case we want to f you, Andrew, I had to go all the way back to the aisle, so Andrew, so I go, so get this. I go back to the aisle. Right I stopped, Jeff, and I stopped matching up the screws. Now they are they? Are they five? Sixteens? Are they? One in? One inch? Half in? We're gonna find the bucket without the price on it. So we do all that. It takes like six or seven minutes

to get all the prices. That's where that's where you right, yes, right there, right, that's where you do. I should have said, I'm taking the screws, were good, not charging an extra three dollars to okay who owed two phone? Okay, Now now I'm exasperated. Get so we match up all the screws. I go back to the kiss here and get online. Now right, I should have cut the line. But guess what the cash is doing? What's what he's making a key for the guy from the Fall, the old guy

you wanted up. They make keys. He's next online, he's making here, he's making the key. There's the cash here. So now I damn CA machine, don't bring up my I felt like walking out. I was gonna walk out and steal the scrolls. But I don't do that. No, you only steal grape soda. I did not steal the grape sodius, son of a bit. The bottom line is I hung the damn television. I wasted my time at ACE hardly wear and the TV now is too high and now I gotta bring it down a foot see,

and it's old electronics, it's junk. And about a year from now you're gonna be salivating at when you see my fucking t TV doesn't say a word on what I'm gonna say what it is, but you're gonna be like, oh, ship, I really want new TV. I can't. I could hang a new TV with chewing gum. This sold, so don't doesn't that make you want, like, like not to use all electronics and no take other people's gardens because you know what, I still saved three four hundrellars on the tea. Yeah,

but look at all the aggravation it's costed you. It's taking years off your life. And hold on, hold on, get the grammar police jingle, Get the grammar police jingle. He just said costed. That's not a word cost to you. You said costed you. I got. I was so exhaust that Jingo Gramma pololice, grama police. Now police your grammar police to me? Cost you? Uh? Speaking of Joe X, Dingo wrote to us, my girlfriend and I were He's no longer a Dingo, but he used to be my grandfriend.

And I were waiting online and stop and shop and saw they sign they used the wrong apart. I love the podcast, son of a bit. Then he writes live the podcast and can't wait to hear the next episode. You guy. You know he lives it. I understand. And the sign says we are hiring to submit an application see details noted on flyer be a part of our team. Apart one word that is disgusting. I'm gonna read Cheryl. I'm gonna read her free dessert story next week, and

I'm gonna read Phil's text message conversation next week. By the way you're listening, I didn't forget about you guys. Team minch a team at gmail dot com ro to us and I gotta get to seem wet. I got one more thing to say on the unused jokes? Uh. Today Today Monday, December three, on The Big Show, a lady cal Dan was talking about her husband being a w w E wrestler and she also mentioned she was pregnant.

Did she get pregnant on w w E RAW? I imagine, I imagine you guys made would have made this joke, but Elvis wouldn't do it. That's funny, made that joke. But that's cute. You like that? I like that? Okay? So before we leave, this is episode alright? What episode was Anthony sixty three? One of them? Okay? So we interviewed Anthony Komi from The Open Anthony Show. I have to say the response to that show. It's a two

hour episode, two hours of action packed five. It's already got double the listeners of the episode before and after it. If you're listening to episode sixty five, I know you've already heard sixty three because you listen in order. Right. We all agreed, but I think it's episode sixty one, which was on Halloween. It was. It was a medium size episode. It's got half the episodes of a regular episode.

So far, it's really good. I feel like you need to make sure you listen to it, that you didn't just skip over because it was a bonus and listened to the Halloween stuff. Yeah, it was really good episode. So read a couple of nice emails by the way, and they'll do it podcast. I gotta go alright, one email I got to I got to uh that it's time. Well, um, you've got mail email at the Brooklyn Boys Podcast at

gmail dot com. Alicia Mantoni wrote, Hey, Brooklyn Boys. I've been a huge fan of the Big Show for fifteen years. I feel like I grew up with you all. I can relate to you because I grew up in an Italian family in Jersey. Podcast is so funny and I wish you guys could come out with a new episode every day. Not gonna happen. The intern the intern resumes bit is my new favorite part of the podcast. Can't believe people are so careless when sending in cover letters.

I know you probably don't remember me, Brodie, but I interviewed with you for an internship on the Big Show. You so she wanted to get a job here back in two thousand twelve. So nicely I did not get hired. Hard feelings, I still love you. Her name is Alicia Mantoni. Oh yeah, I know, Alicia. Okay, Brodie your ranch Okay,

my favorite of all time? Really, like I just say one thing before say with that, Alicia, you should know, and I tell us to most of the applicants sometimes that like in baseball, you could be a three hundred and ten hitter, but if a three d and fifteen, a three fifteen hitter comes along, they're gonna play. It's sometimes it's a very close, very difficult decision. So it doesn't mean that I didn't like you or enjoy our conversation.

I'm sure you submitted a nice homework assignment. But I only have so many slots, so thank you for still being a fan. I appreciated. And her favorite rand of all time was the Buffalo Wild Wings on Super Bowl Sunday. My laughter when you compared it to this to New York Stock Exchange and partying the Red Sea when you walked up after they called your name, dying of laughter. You guys talking, Oh what you guys were talking about? Certain brands of jackets are banned at school. Whoever made

that rule is a snow flake. Snow flake. Oh we had snowflake, stay, didn't we? And scary. I have to call you out on the Tony Bennett thing. How dare you say anything negative about the man? He is ninety two years old and still singing on stage. That in itself is insane talent. Keep up the show, guys, love you always do a live show soon, then it wouldn't be a podcast. I don't know understand. I know what he's saying. He wants to do like he wants to do, like at a ball are a comedy club. I want

to tell you Carolines Comedy Club. They want the greatest comedy club in America. They want us to do a live show there, so we have to work on that. Jason Silva Brooklyn Boys Best. I'm a Brooklyn Night, born and raised in Sunset Park, currently living in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Love listening to your podcast every week, especially because it brings back memories of my high school days at the Fort Fort Hamilton High School hanging with some of my friends.

Of course, I listened to order and sometimes I need a little extra b b time. So I go back to some classic episodes. I believe I've listened to your episode with Michael Rappaport at least a dozen times. Such a great episode. Here's an idea for a future segment came under the radar. The idea came from an under the radar mob mobster classic called Hoodloaf. You can catch

it on Amazon Prime, not a sponsor. At forty nine minutes in, there are two hit men getting ready to kill Buppy Johnson and start a trade on some of New York's best eats and uh including some of including cheesecake, steaks, and even hot dogs. And I love no love for Feltman's though. Anyway, right now, I know you say your show is not about Brooklyn, but you bring up some of Brooklyn's best each from time to time. Why not

making a weekly segment called Brooklyn Boys Best. Each week, you guys can pick a food, dessert, or style of food to discuss, and you can each choose one place that one fins has the best in Brooklyn or the other four borrows if you want. I personally think it would be a great for all your listeners who visit New York City one day to have spots to visit when they go to Brooklyn. Anyway, it's great to reminisce love you all. You can tag an honorable mention for

a third choice. Anyways, this person goes on that's just shure. I understand the movie part of it, but he wants he wants us to do a Brooklyn. Yeah, there's a problem. I'll tweet someplace if I liked it. Scary, we'll tweet someplace if he likes it. The problem is eighty percent of our audience doesn't live anyone near Brooklyn and maybe I'm making up numbers. Is never gonna go to Brooklyn looking for a pastry shop. So it really kind of

alienates people. So you know what, there's great food everywhere. We'll take you under advice. You guys know your neighborhoods better, and you know, I go and yelp. You could figure it out. But someone actually asked me on Twitter if like we've ever been into Farer's. I'm like, do you listen to the podcast? Also, Stephen Massia wanted to point out that, um, they were playing trivia on Google Home and the question was who sings come on Field the

Noise As a former dj I knew it was two bands. Well, he knew it was Quiet Right Riot. It's a remakeer Google said it was wrong. I was livid. I can't remember which band they said it was. It was probably Sad Okay, so is he wrong? Well, if the question was who wrote come on Field the Noise, he wants he's like, he wants to take it up with Google Home. Okay, you guys got the wrong things, remember yeah, yeah, okay, So again, if you care about eighties hard rock and

say that's what he said. So Come On Field the Noise was Quiet Riot's biggest hit, but it was a cover of a band uh named Slade that had recorded it. Then Quiet Riot had a second hit, mental Health, Mental Health rather, and then the third hit was Mama, We're All Crazy now right? That was also a cover of Slade. So Quiet Right got a lot of crap for doing two covers of Slaves music and they were both hits. So two of their three biggest hits were by this

one band, Slade. So now Slade did come and Feel the Noise. If you like the one, you may hitting bars whatever, go and listen to it. Go listen to that version of Mama we're all crazy now. But their best song is a song called run Runaway. Well, chameleon, let's run Runaway anyway, great song, so look up some old classic rock slade. But he but he's right if the version, if the verbage was who sang it? Hell I sang it? Anybody could be right who sang the song,

so it's really who wrote it. And finally, Grady Johnson said that an episode this is the third one you said too, Well, this is he wants to make a comment about three Churchill Downs. At Churchill Downs, there's a bathroom attendant who simply hands you paper towels that are one step fancier to dry your hands, and then still have the regular dispenses in the bathroom and hand dryers.

And then the guy stands right by the sink holds his out with a large tip basket to fuck you into helping him out because he spends his day in a bathroom. Seems like an even more usuals job than the bar soap pretended he's the dryer guy where he hands not the bar soap. It was the uh soap and towel guy. Right. This guy says he hands scored the scuirt his Squorrey soap guy. Yeah right, he hands you paper towels, so he he says, but they're they're

fancier than the blow dry thing. So he wants a tip for handing you a fancier paper towel, because obviously you're gonna be more compelled. Do you see what? You see? What the guys trying back? When we went to see Conan O'Brien by the way, being a corner Obrian, we went to see Conan, so the bathroom soapy guy, the soap soap towel guy, Scorrey soap guy. When he did the pump, it was like a pump that maybe the soap had caked on a little bit, so it went squeaky, squeaky.

I'm like, dude, clean his soap pumped. First of all, uh, Second of all, if you remember, they gave us a real a nice gift basket when we left, they look bag the well, here's the thing, why do you say that? All right? So in that bag was read beats, wiless beats. So when I came home that day, my one of my kids says, oh, wireless beats, I want those for hanka. I go, huh, well, good luck, because he's a mine. They're like, well, you don't need those, So now I'm

getting guilted into give him my free beats away. But isn't that what you guys do, guilt each other? Wow, you guys, have you used Joe wiless beats? No? I gave him my girlfriend? Well you are whipped. No, I'm not. I have a head from you gave your girlfriend wireless beats headphones And the bitch won't let you watch Sunday night football. Don't all right? You know I love Robin.

I met like bitch, don't let me want like you know the way you were talking to Spruce, I was talking about the fact that you called Sunday night football and not football in America. On my bad, I'm sorry, it's just the way for us. I had podcast a word dot com Best Comedy because we're from Brooklyn. Dah Boys from Brooklyn, Brooklyn dah Boys Rock Brooklyn