#344: Jetski Jerkoff

Start Up, dot Up, start Up, Brooklyn Boy, start Up, Brooklyn Boy.

Start up, dot Up. They making noise, dot Up, start Up, da dot Up.

Episode three forty four. It's the Brooklyn Boys podcast.

What's going on there?

Dad Brody recording on a Friday. Sorry slices that were a little late, But if you hear this a month from now, it won't matter to you.

It really won't matter.

And a lot of people don't listen to day. Of a lot of people, it takes about a week or two for them to catch up. So yeah, it's a scorcher here this weekend here in the Northeast.

Okay.

I just went to walk the dogs and they're like, oh, let's let's go to the park, and we have a dog park. And I said, uh, yeah, that sounds fine. I got halfway to the dog park and I said, you're peeing here. Oh yeah, you're peing right here. So it's a pressure. They did what they had to do. I don't care if they were finished. Came right back into the air conditioning. It's a kind of crap where you walk out the door and the heat literally smacks you in the face and then smacks you on the

We used to open up that fire hydrant? Yep?

Did you used to us a hydrant or some people may call it a Johnny pumpolo? Have no idea why? Yeah, my so, my my my dad was a police officer, so he had the official tool to open and close fire hydrants.

Yeah.

And and he had a cap that you could put on the fire hydrant.

It turned it into a sprinkler sprinkler cap.

So now nowadays, if you contact the city, they give you the sprinkler caps. It used to be illegal for you to open the fire hydrant to get some you know, refreshing Uh yeah, you know water. Yeah, now you got forbid. Now no, now they do it. Now you're allowed to. Apparently they kind of I would would are they encourage

And we pool. Did you have a pool, right? No.

I lived in an apartment building, so we had a We had not like not like Jersey City apartment buildings where they have a deck in a pool. I lived in a pre war and pre war by the way, in case you don't know, pre war means before World War two, Yeah, which means it was like nineteen thirties, and you know there's there's a little court got in the back.

No pool.

We had a backyard, but it was all concrete. It wasn't very big. And we had a plastic pool when I was a kid. Yeah, the above the above ground round pool. Everybody had those two family homes. Yeah, we had one of those, and then we would have the garden hose, so we would run through the sprinkler of the garden hose.

Uh. And that was it.

Then then there was the fire hydrant for those other days. When Anthony caught a.

Posse, uh would would uh caught what he caught? No?

His name, his last name was cart a posse. Anthony cort a posse. He caught a posse and they beat him up.

I don't know.

It was Paul and Anthony caught a posse. Uh No, it's an Italian last name. And he had a posse? What was the posse doing when he got when they got caught, they were an insane clown posse. They yeah, no, they yeah. They had Anthony, Paul and Lydia and and the three.

What kind of Italian name is Lydia?

I don't know, but but they they they lived on the corner and they were the ones that would be They would rally us.

Come on, we got the wrench, and they got the wrench.

With the magic nut that spin you spin the nut and the open up the fire hydrant and it was it was glorious. And that was pretty much every summer for several summers. Yeah, and then you'd have to have like one person would have to volunteer to stand by the fire hydrant and use their hands to redirect the water at you, because otherwise the water just pours out onto the ground.

So someone had to stand there.

And you know, like when you put your your thumb over the hole of the garden hose and it's sprays, right, someone had to put their hands over the fire hydrant opening.

You know what we're doing, don't you scary we're doing. Back in my day, we had a fire hydrant and we had we are doing that.

But but at a quarter to seven every night, the mister Softy truck would would show up and we would all line up for our soft serve ice cream. Now see, back in the day, I thought it was good humor, the Good Humor truck. Would we okay, we had good humor at three o'clock in the afternoon. Good humor is the prepackaged bars we had had the favorite one with there was the toasted almond, toasted almond crunch, toasted almond, the strawberry shortcake, and the of course the ice cream sandwich, yes,

And then every once in a while they would have a chip witch.

But it was it was all prepackaged ice cream and then but at my favorite was the mister Softy truck because it was soft serf and I would just get like a chocolate shake, or they would sell the bomb pops, you know, the red, white and blue torpedo looking ices. So yesterday I was thinking of mister Softy. I must have said it out loud, because all of a sudden,

Well, that's the thing. They don't take Apple pay. That was my next question.

You gotta have a QR code or something because otherwise, like I'm in the pool, I know cash. I'm gonna take cash to the pool venmo the guy. If I'm gonna venmo the guy? Hey, hey, creepy guy in the truck, can I get Can I give you my Venmo?

I'm not gonna do that. But not, by the way, not all guys in ice cream trucks are creepy slices. If you're a slice wh works an ice cream truck, I'm not. I'mplying that being said. My mother once asked me a very pertinent question. This is years ago.

She said, where do you suppose the mister softy guy goes to the bathroom and how does he wash his hands? I would I would need to think that he leaves the truck and he goes to use a public restroom somewhere. Yeah, well that's the thought, right. Just ask me the same question about like the hot dog vendor. A hot dog vendor never leaves his cart. Oh no, so where does he go? How does he wash his hands? There's no

No, because who would trust their cart alone?

Oh no, oh no, these are questions, These are questions. Oh no, anyway, so ice cream enjoy. It's one hundred degrees today, so oh.

No, you got me thinking.

You got me thinking about where these guys wash their hands and go to the bathroom.

Mm hmm.

Do you really do you think they going like a Snapple bottle inside the truck when no one looking.

I don't know that.

I mean, I don't know what they do. I don't think that they're not like a win a bag. They don't have bathrooms on the mister softy truck. I don't know what they do. And and and before hand sanitizers were a thing, how do they wash their hands on the truck.

Let's say he's got like a little like little little itch in his nose.

He's got to pick his nose right as he was his hands. Hey, all right, changing the subject slightly, Candy, What about it?

Candy? Well, I was listening to.

A radio show and the guy on the radio is a sports station, was talking about the Baby Ruth Bar, and uh uh do you know where the name Baby Ruth candy Ball comes from? I mean, I'm gonna just take an educated guess and say that it was after the baseball player Babe Ruth. So you think they named it Baby Ruth after Babe Ruth. Hmm, that's what you think. Well, I don't even know what I feel like. Babe Ruth came before the candy bar because Baby Ruth isn't as old as Babe Ruth is. So I'm gonna go with

I don't.

Instead of calling it Babe Ruth, they called it Baby Ruth because they've got their pants suit off of them, because they did it without his permission.

That's what I'm going with. Well, I'm wrong.

The candy bar started around the time of Babe Ruth already being a baseball player. Ah, but it's named after Grover Cleveland. The president is daughter Ruth. Oh, but the guy on the sports station made the same mistake you did, of course, assumed that it was something to do with Babe Ruth. Uh. He's like, oh, yeah, of course, of course that guy likes he's a baseball player.

Of course he likes Baby Ruth named after Babe Ruth. But it's not huh.

I just feel like it's one of those things somebody could have looked up a one hundred years ago because it's a nineteen nineteen twenty one candy bar.

But anyway, just a little bit of trivia. There nothing to do with Babe Ruth.

Coincidence, as they say, coincidence that the name is yep, all right, very nice, there you go. But did you know who invented the toilet bowl? Who gives a ship hio, Thomas Crapper?

Is that? Is that? Is that your your pun?

Is that your no? No, Thomas Crapper. Thomas Crapper invented the toilet bowl?

Are you one hundred percent sure on that? Because I always hear that joke, but I'm not convinced.

I was always told that he did, But now I'm gonna google it.

Who invented the toilet bowl? Uh?

Sir John Harrington, Thomas Crapper. Okay, another scary Internet No, Thomas Crapper, Wait here it is. Thomas Crapper is often mistakenly believed to have invented the toilet bowl due to.

The slang term Crapper.

However, he made significant improvements to the system, including developing the ballcock mechanism for automatically refilling the tank. He also improved the valve system in eighteen eighty four, Wow introduced it, and he introduced the pole chain system that decreased noise and conserved water.

So are you saying he invented the pull chain and the ballcock? The ballcock and the pull chain Thomas Crapper.

Wait a second, scary Did you ever pull your own chain and play your own ballcock?

You have to have jiggle it.

Right, the jiggle jiggle, jiggle the ball the ballcock. Well, well, okay, so Thomas Crapp her was improved. He was instrumental in improving the toilet But this other guy invented it, Sir John Harrington. But Thomas Crapper, a real man with a real last name. That has to do with the toilet bowl, which is shouldn't it John crapper like John John. No, but the other guy is Sir John Harrington. It's sir John, So he John, Sir John invented to John. Why maybe

No, yes, what do you invent the tissue? Why does this have to do? All these these toilet functions hold on?

Alexander Cumming was a Scottish watchmaker.

He patented the flush toilet in seventeen seventy five.

He and he innovated the S shaped pipe below the ball. But our aren't healthy poops supposed to be S shaped as well, that's what they say.

The doctors say the S shaped poop. By the way, according to the Internet, we go to the John because of Sir John Harrington. So that is that that holds true. But that's Alexander.

Alexander Cumming used Okay, so it used water to create a seal and prevents sewer gas from entering the building. Oh so all the raw sewage all the way outside and down below.

You don't want that stink there.

So he he decided he made the S shape to the water stable. Yeah, so water always stays down there to prevent a smell.

From rising up. Yeah, yeah, it's the it's the poisonous gas, not the smell.

I just love how sir John, a coming, and a crapper all have something to do with the toilet, which is very much used the same way it was all the way back then.

Today, isn't it amazing.

How we have We have something in our house and our aplients that we use we don't even think about, but that like the toilet that has the technology from the seventeen hundreds that we still use the same exact way. Google the name Andrew, Youreinstein, and you'll see that he also had a hand in the toilet. No, yeah, he put his hand in the toilet. What Andrew, You're You're such an asshole. We were just on a roll with three legitimate men with names a toilet, but then you're making up a fake one.

You're in Stein, You're in Stain. I said he had a hand in. I said he had a hand in the toilet as well, and knew like he did. Yeah, you're you're in Stain would make more sense, Not you're in Stein. That would have been too obvious. I had to make it somewhat believable. Hey, uh, we were talking about the the Baby Ruth candy bar as we were. Uh. And I was in Target Monday or Tuesday on Tuesday,

She was trying to put the Reese's Peanut butter cup package in her leggings to steal them, and her friends were like all surrounding her. She like three or four friends. They were like surrounding her so that like the cameras wouldn't see her stuffing the Reese's Peanut butter cups in her leggings. So, first of all, what kind of degenerate do you have to be that you don't pay the two bucks for the Reese's Peanut butter cups and your friends are all in on it, because what they're going

So they see me coming around the turn and they're like, oh, I've done to see here, and they and she she takes the She snaps her leggings closed and moves the Reese's peanut butter cup away from her legging strap, like he wasn't gonna put it in there. So I slowly go down the aisle. I'm looking around. Yeah, da da da da da dah.

I'm like, I'm dragging it on. I'm taking a long time to go through the aisle because i want to see if they'll like walk away. But they're sort of standing there and they see that I'm not. I'm like looking at the I'm looking at the things on the shelf, and I'm procrastinating, and I'm like, we better leave. This guy's not leaving. So they walk away with the peanut butter cup bag. So I I leave the aisle behind them, and I see them going into the next aisle, so I take the cart like and I and I see

Jeez.

So I turn into the aisle because you know, it's the next aisle. It's totally normal for me to turn the next aisle, and you're like, So she then her friends then leave and go over to the pharmacy area where like the drugs are, the shampoo and everything. Sure, so I take the cart and I go and I sort of go into the same area and they see me again. You're like, this fucking guy. Is he a cop?

So I stopped the crime. Scary Jones.

Congratulations, David Brody, you're a watchdog.

I like that.

Well, I was going in that direction anyway because the pharmacy area is on the way to the registers, so I had to go that way anyway.

But I have no tolerance for theft. Stop it stop, and you.

Know what, they're gonna get all melted and mushed.

In your pocket. Anyway. God, by the way, I said she was a redhead because I was going to reference how I could spot her in the crowd of her friends very easily, right, because she had red hair. Well that's pretty cool, actually, I'm glad you did that.

You know, see, I'm kind of well, first of all, raise their kids.

It's upsetting. Did you steal when you were a kid?

Never?

Boh, hold on a second. Oh maybe like you don't smoke pot, but you did.

No. I think when I was like nine years old years old, I didn't know any better. I think I might have stolen Swedish fish, stolen off you know, Swedish fish, the jellyfish type things.

That I'm aware of what it is. I was just saying, it's you might have stolen they.

I might have stolen at test Tessie's Tessie's candy store around the corner. We had an old school candy store, soda fountain place, and I don't know. I guess they were like a nickel they were, you know, they were. They came individual you could just like peel it off the thing.

And so you stole a nickels worth the candy. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why I did that.

Well, I got caught stealing unintentionally. I may have told this story like two hundred episodes ago, three hundred episodes ago. I was in a candy store across the street from my house or I always went like I was eight years old, like you could go outside, go to the candy store. Back then, it was you know, different world. So I used to buy my comic books there. They had the spindle, you know, the revolver rat.

Yeah, the vawling wrack.

Yes, I used to buy my comics there. So I went and I went to the you know, the counter has all a in front of the county. They have all the little dishes, the little divider areas well the candy is. So I picked up a two cent piece of bazooka gum.

It was two cents back then, and.

I picked it up, put it in my hand, and then I was like looking at the comic books. So I was like looking for a comics to I was like, oh, when I come back later with my mom or I have more money, I'll buy some comics. So I walked out with the gum in my hand in my pocket. I didn't realize it, and the guy's like, well where are you going? I'm like what he's like trying to steal the gum? Like no that he got my He went and got my dad because he knew where he lived.

He rang the bell and had my father come down.

Wow again it was a police officer was none too happy that I was allegedly stealing the gum, but he knew I wouldn't steal the gum. So I don't apologize to the guy and he's like, sorry, that never do that again. Yes, I got I got accused of stealing the gum.

Yeah, I don't think I've really stolen anything. I've always been an upstanding citizen. Uh uh. When it was the record, they I earned that grape soda. Oh no, you didn't know.

You didn't. Okay, you know all the slices are like, what about the grape? So I will say there might have been a time or two where hold on and is this considered stealing? Hold on where I had a cart full of groceries and stuff and they scan everything. And then I realize after the fact that they want to scan the the Yeah, the case of water under the under the cart. This is after I'm after I'm walking away and I'm into the you know, halfway into the parking lot, and I didn't go back.

I'm like, fucking is that stealing? That stealing?

Yes, but that was unintentional stealing. Okay, that's not stealing, that's not really stealing. See because I didn't know. I didn't intentionally try and trick them or and conceal something to do. Right, But once you knew, Now there's some people that say, well, it was their mistake, they gave it to you. Yeah, you can't be. You can't be arrested for that, but I guess you could be. If they saw you on the camera, they could say you knew it was under there, because that's a scam, right.

See, to me, I was just being lazy. I didn't want to walk back.

I didn't want to go back in, so I got yeah, I'm just gonna keeck at BJ's. The the registers. The self checkout machine says did you check underneath your cart for all items?

Oh? It says it talks to you.

Yeah, so if you don't check your items, it could say we asked you if you checked, and you didn't check, therefore you stole it?

All right?

Well, is this stealing when you let's say they're scanning all your groceries and you notice that the they scan in the wrong price on something maybe maybe something doesn't make any sense, and there they scan it through and it comes up as whatever it is, and you're like, that can't be the price, and you know they might have tagged it wrong if that's not or the bark oh, or the bar code doesn't yea. Sometimes the bar code doesn't match up to what's in the system, you know

You might want to change that. Yeah, I'm not gonna.

I'm not gonna call their attention to that. I'm going to call their attention to it. Already passed that loss onto me next week. Yeah, because they're gonna raise their prices if they keep taking.

A loss on the turkey whatever or the steak I just bought. I'll mention you guys.

I think I think it evens doubt because I feel like there's gotta be times where I got ripped off unbeknownst.

To me and I paid more.

Okay, but you just but you just go, yeah, but you just got your money because they rang it up wrong. Now you can save the company from getting ripped off by everybody else. Y'sah a company of people.

They're scary.

They're still a manager whose job depends on the profit and law statement. It's not just some big executive or some CEO or the owner of the company. They're like, oh, he's got money. The people who work they will get fired because they lose money. They matter also, Yeah, but they're not gonna They're not gonna pinpoint it on one individual. No one's gonna get But if the still loses one thousand dollars because you didn't tell them. They may Oh you know what, whoever was in charge of that, it's

Yeah, fuck her.

Well, at the time of the gas station, when I was, when I was all the way down the road, halfway down the Garden State Parkway, when I realized he gave me change of one hundred, I'm like, whoa, I didn't give him a hundred.

I gave him twenty. Oh, why didn't you call him up in Venmo? He gave me eighty dollars back? Why didn't you venmo him? I don't know it was it was a gas station. We talked about it on this podcast. Yes, I understand, because you told me to Venmo the ice cream guy. You should have venmoed the gas guy. I didn't know what cash No, it was already too late. It was I was already gone when I realized the error of their ways. Right, scary. You could have venmoed

It was all the gas station, whether this shell station or the Molden stations, tried this.

We talked about.

He didn't try anything. You go back and listen to the episode slices the gas pedal.

And you went faster.

You know if you don't remember this story slices, please get my back. You knew that back then. I was right, and now you'll agree with me again.

You're not right. You just do it too far away. I'm just saying.

You want me to Venmo the ice cream guy. You could have venmoed the gas guy. You're very quick to throw on my Venmo. I don't see you throw on your Venmo. All right, we'll be right back about your Venmo.

I got it, I got it. Give you some gas on the crapper. It's podcast. Hey, oh oh I got a guess store. Oh you got a gas story? Go for it? Do yeah? You know no, you do your story because you're excited, but I'll do my guess. Well it's not really a story. Okay, Well, all right, let's so poor jet Ski Brian. He can't win. He or the guy who's who's into virtual models on Instagram.

No, he's been having a week with the jet skis. It's been a very busy week because the weather has been great here in the Northeast. Every tour sold out. Those jet skis are running up and down the Hudson River, going around the Statue of Liberty.

And you know, okay, he basically, uh, you know, with more what is it with With more skis on the water and.

More power comes great responsibility. With more of that comes more trouble, more money, more problems right here in River City. Well, no, because the public is inconsiderate, people showing up forty five minutes late for their tour, almost missing it. This one guy went on rogue the other day. This is I wanted him to tell a story. But the short of it is, you're on He was on a guided I mean, obviously they do guided tours. Okay, you don't just rent the ski and just run amok. You have to follow

The guy went. He says, in all of his years, jesseke Brian.

Has never experienced a client who said, fuck you in your in your business.

I'm just I'm not done yet, I'm not done playing. I'm going I'm just going for it. And he just went rowed. With all the ferries and boats and things that could have hit him, the.

Guy went crazy and and and then the guy kept blowing the whistle and he said he was trying to wave him in.

No such luck.

This dude just took off for the next hour and Jetski Bryan called the police. Oh he did, he did, And there's cops on the water waiting for him, and there are up and edge water. So they they they apprehended the guy and they're like, are you fucking crazy, bro?

What are you doing with theft?

Yes, he could have pressed charges on the guy. He didn't want to do all that, but he got his ski back. But the guy was like wasting gas doing like donuts And what if the guy ran out of gas in the middle of the Hudson and then died in the middle of the Hudson. I don't understand where people's heads are at and how they think they're gonna get away with something like that.

You know what.

I he has a daughter who steals RECs pinut butter cups to target probably.

But just that was kind of, you know, not funny, but you know, could have been serious. But I just the nerve of people, the balls, the balls on these.

Path I'll tell you the only thing I do that's even close to that is I I love driving go carts, you know, like the go cart track.

Yep, I I I.

I know what you're gonna say, the driver, you know, when they go like last lap, you pull into the pretend not to see them.

I got almost and I don't want to. You're that guy, You're the You're the jet ski stealer. That's your now.

Now, some places they power your car off so you can't they go everybody on half power.

But if they don't. Yeah.

Yeah, and the cruise ship they can shut your power down. But I'm talking about old school go carts. It's a gas one.

They can't shut you the gas ones, they can't shut your power down.

They gotta trust that you're gonna bring the thing back. If you see the checkered flag. Look, if you're like halfway through the track, you got to pull in. But if they wave you in and you're like twenty feet from the entrance, you're going too fast. I'm like, ah, oh no, I can't control this thing. Oh next, I see your next lap. Yeah, the brakes are out. Yeah, I gotta take that extra lap.

I'll do that.

But I what I don't do is I don't take the go kart up the Hudson River to the Choy exactly. Oh, this cop is crashing in that river. You can't he got you can't just it's like a like a lake where you can just go. I'm gonna just go off on a lake and drive around. It's the Hudson River, dude. Airplanes have landed in that river. Yeah, Sully landed a plane, and you imagine.

How did he die. Well, he stole a jet ski and an airplane. Landed on him.

He's been having a week boy. Someone left him a one star review, which which don't.

Don't do that. People to think about it. I think, assess the situation before you leave.

What are they right, caught by the cops arrest No, it a different person. They had a great experience. So Brian called the guide and said, all right, this person his client left this one star review and why whiz is that?

And then the guide said, you kidding me? No way.

The guy did everything. No, he was so happy with the photo package. He said, I'll come back again. Whatever the case. The dude complained, he dimed him out, said something about how unprofessional the tour guide was.

Yet he was the guy was the nicest guy in the world, so he loves leaves him.

It goes from a five star experience to a one star experience, because it sure is so. Brian tore m a new asshole on Google in front of everybody, said this is the owner here and I'm gonna let you know, bump up bop, and then the guy took the review down. But good, you know what you could really see? You ever seen reviews like four stars? They go for four to five.

Loved it.

Had the best time, The food was great, service is great, loved it, can't wait to go back. What are you giving a four star review for? Yeah, you give him a five, give him a five. Well five, they're trying to make a living. You had a great time, and you don't take it from five to one just because your food was you know, came out late.

Do you do that? Brody? Do leave?

Would you leave a one star review on a place you'd be fair? Right, there's a reason why there's one star, two star, three star, four starre five star. You have other options. You don't just go from five to one. But I feel like this is where in a society of extremes, I think the I would give like a three star if I thought, like, well, the food was good, but the service is terrible. But if the service was terrible one time, and it's not indicative of the restaurant, right,

Yeah, but that hasn't happened, so you know, I mean a lot has to go wrong to give one star.

But what other people don't understand is when they're leaving these reviews, they're playing with people's livelihoods.

These are people's You know, you can tank a business.

The business could go out of business because of low ratings because nobody wants to just you know, nobody wants to go there because I mean I live in on Google's Yeah wait a minute, So now you're concerned about consequences. But stealing the water and having the cashier fired you didn't care about. Yeah, oh when they misscanned, they miss barcoded something to chopright, and somebody gets in trouble for that, you don't care. But the restaurant you care about because

Small business. I don't want that restaurant to close. I'm all for the local mom and pop. I'm mom for the small business.

I don't want to Okay, So if you had a case of water under your cart at a small mom and pop grocery, oh, I'm telling you, then he's go back. Yeah, the big corporation, I don't care. So it's okay to steal from rich people. No, I'm not saying that either. You're trying to corner me. Remember the homeless guy thinks you're rich, So is it okay for him to rob from you?

It's not.

Well, he's telling all his buddies under the bridge he's living under. Hey, that guy he's got a coat. He must be rich. He can afford to get a new coat. Let's go steal his coat. Now that mentality, No, it's not. It's different.

It is.

Look at the guy in the BMW. He can afford his car. Let's go steal his watch in his wallet. When you see when you see a big time, a big time expensive store like a I'm just gonna call it out, like a Gucci or a product. Get get get get gets. No, it's not get smashed and grabbed. We're people terrible, awful, terrible. But do I feel as bad as I do if the mom and pop store got robbed? I don't feel as bad. What if Mom and Poppa pricks doesn't matter their mom and pop stores.

They're on a mom and pop. But what if they steal what I they're running the drug? Right? Is My point is that no steal from anybody? Yeah? How about that? I'm with you on that.

Nobody's no, let's not leave. Let's not leave it right there? What is the CNN. We're not gonna leave it right there. We're gonna keep coming. We gotta leave it right there.

We're not gonna. We're not gonna. I'm I'm don't making my point yet. You can't meet leave me right here. We gotta go. We can do. We're up against it, up against the break. No, we can. We can keep talking if we want. This is a fucking podcast. We do what we want to do. Now, weren't from our sponsor? What are you trying to do? You can't take me to break. We'll be back from a congressman from the grey dat of Wisconsin. No, let me make a point here. Okay.

Okay, let's put it that way. Start stealing is wrong. Okay, So you want people to be apprehended. But my question, my thing is this if in the overnight two stores got robbed. One of them was the Christian Lubaton shoe store, and the other one is a mom and pop little like newstand.

Okay, I would feel more.

I would feel worse for the mom and pop news stand that got robbed, because they're gonna have a bigger recovery to get back to where they need to be. Then then a bunch of shoes that were taking out of the cusial Lubitton because they're a major corporation who could afford it. But that does not mean I'm condoning it. I'm just saying I still want the thief to hold on. I still want the thief to get caught, caught, I still want to I still want them to be I still want justice to be served.

I'm just saying it's before.

If the crime of breaking into a store is six months in prison, let's just say six months, that's it. You break into a Mom and pop six months in prison. Are you saying if you break into a Gucci store, your penalty will only be two months. I'm not saying that either. I'm saying no, no, no, Yes. You do the crime, you do the time you pay, you do the crime. So this crime is the same. You're just

I don't feel as bad, so let me ask you a question.

But it's still awful, and I still want the hold on. I still want the criminal to be caught because it's wrong. Because that's justice, that's that's the law. I'm just saying, if I just don't feel as much, okay, sympathy for the big box corporation, I don't know.

Let's say, because they can afford it.

Might you understand Let's say Mike has a gun, and Mike goes out and shoots a poor person, and then he goes and shoots a rich person. Nope, you're trying to Luigi MANGIONI me, and I'm not going to get answer that question, because that's exactly how people feel and why they're trying to feel justified and sympathizing with that guy.

He's a killer. A killer is a killer, and he needs to go to jail.

I'm not talking about whether or not a guy a guy ran an insurance company and may have denied coverage or I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying, let's say you shoot a homeless guy, you and you shoot uh, Okay, let me ask you a question. Would you be more upset if somebody shot a player on the Mets who was a bad player, or if they shot a good player.

Equal, because it's human life we're talking about. Okay, I'm just checking. Yeah, you try.

Oh man, they shot at utility infield.

He's hitting two ten. That sucks. No, but now god they shot one. Somebody go, oh my god. You got to compare apples to apples.

Man, this is this is specifically talking about robbing of a would you would you be more upset if if somebody shot a Yankee or a man?

Equal, because it's a human life. Liar, fire my head. Hurt's talking to you. It really does.

Break.

Now we'll take a break, be right back after this right here. So is this our last break? Because I got a guest story. There's another one. What what are you rushing us to the end for like that? No, I'm just asking. I want to make sure I'm a man of the people. I'm trying to give the slices of maximum one out of podcast. No, you know you're a man of the poor people. Oh that's fine. Maria Baron on Instagram sent me a reel wanted me to tell you about. It's scary.

Lambeau caught fire for allegedly fueling while running the vehicles. A picture of the Lamborghini on fire at the gas station. Oh man, really, now, so here's my guess story. Now that I've told you that I was getting gas, and I gave the guy on my credit card and I said, give me thirty dollars a regular.

I don't need a receipt. It's okay.

So a few minutes later, it comes back. It gives me the credit card and the receipt. And I said, oh, I didn't answer for the receipt, but all right, no problem. He says, oh, I'll throw it out for you.

I go, no, no problem. I have a garbage bag in my car. I throw it in the uh.

I said, I'll just throw it in my garbage bag. He says, all right, it's great, Thank you, sir. I appreciate that. He said, no problem. All good, have a great night. And I start my car and I put the car and drive and he yells.

I'm still popping your gas. Oh shit, Wow, the pump was still in my car. Oh my god.

He gave me the credit card and the receipt because I had told him give me thirty dollars. He was able to print the receipt in advance because Surry knew it was thirty dollars. I thought, I thought, you know, old school, you print the receipt when it's done.

You. I didn't even look. You didn't even look over there. I had the whole comp So I'm like, holy shit.

All I could think about was my car is gonna blob because of the Lambeau picture Maria sent me. And you started, you started, you started the car, Yes, and I almost drove away.

I put the car and drove it. Wow, that's that was a close one. That was a close one. Yes, I could have driven off with the thing in my I could have blown up and then terrible. So I've I've given up on Google. I think I'm now, oh you you know everything on your own.

Now. I hate to say it, but AI is taking over my life, so no matter where I so okay, So even if you go to Google, Google uses answers first, they uses gem they use Gemini. Gemini is their AI, right, Yeah, so AI will answer first. But now I'll just go to chat GPT and use the open AI if I want something. If I need something, to the chat GPT, the liar Jet chat gpt the liar. So now I didn't do this, but I was going to translation he did.

I I didn't. I didn't. No, No, no you did you did? No, No, I didn't.

I didn't do I didn't go through with the action because I in fear of being made fun of. But let me tell you the end of the story first, who would make fun of you?

Scary?

Know what?

I know?

A childhood A chat eight childhood icon for me passed away. Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan the wrestler.

I thought you're gonna say, NICKI minaj No.

Hulk Hogan changed the face of wrestling. He has got a lot of a lot of stuff that he's he did back in the day and when he was you know, w w O, and when he became Hollywood and Hulk all that stuff, and when he turned evil and he's back to good again. But I watched wrestling with my friends and got the figures and the whole thing because of Hulk and you know his you know all the storylines and stuff. So anyway, so he passed away, right,

So I said, yeah, so I'm not gonna do that. So I didn't end up posting it, but I end also could have asked.

You could have asked chat chat dB because you told you chat dB because I have all my whole Hogan pictures on my Facebook page from when he was you know, when they were new, and I have the date on them.

And more importantly, most.

Of your celebrity pictures scary I took with my phone because you never had a phone or you always were like, bro, do you just take you and a synonym?

I have you? Would I have you with Sabriena Coppenter, I have you with Lady Gaga pictures. Could you send me all the pictures of me and celebrities when you have a chance. Thank you, that'd be great.

Yeah, don't hold your breath. So doesn't Apple have a feature where you can do an image search?

Yes?

But yeah, but you how do I get I have to actually identify a picture with Hulk in there first before it finds it. Right.

Yeah, so you so you put a picture of Hulk Hogan on your phone and find this guy. I could do that.

I could find similar pictures, Yeah, find similar Well, you could be like me. And as soon as I take pictures, I put the pictures in folders immediately. So all my pictures on my phone, every one of them is in a folder.

See.

See that's way too organized for me, but you know you also, I told chat Ept, I said, hey, I'm like, you know, show me, show me that picture. Show me a picture of me Scary Jones with Hulk Hogan, and it finds it from the from the web, if it's published somewhere, if especially, if it's like images.

I didn't. I didn't remember I met Ozzy Osbourne backstage at jingle Ball one year. You did.

I didn't remember what year, so I just asked, yeah, oh, I'll tell you the story real quick. So in two thousand and two, when Ozzie's show, the Osbourne's was really big, we had him at SZE one hundreds jingle Ball in December of two thousand and two. Now at ZE one hundred, I feel comfortable saying I was the only metal head, Yes, that I was the only real Ozzy Osbourne fan, and if anyone should meet him, you know, I thought I should be able to meet him, So you did.

I didn't know this.

So Elvis, you know, he's Elvis, so of course he gets to you know, uh, pull strings, and as well he should. And he his boyfriend at the time, wanted to meet Ozzy Osbourne, as did Elvis. They both wanted to meet Ausie. So I said, I said, Elvis, is there any way you can help me out here? And he said, yeah, you'll come in with us.

You know you'll come in. You got to meet Ozzie Brodie. I know you're a fan.

So we went into the dressing room and Ozzie was in there. And this is two thousand and two, so not everyone had a cell phone with a camera on it whatever, and they were like, you know, no pictures Ozzie's you know, I mean even back then, Ozzie was like, Aussie, I'm still a loud of it, right he was. So I got to meet Ozzie. I said, I'm a fan. I really enjoy your your whatever. I shook his hand, I talked to him for a few seconds, and then

I totally get that.

So Elvis and I believe his boyfriend at the time, got a picture with Ozzie. So if Elvis has that picture, then that would be whatever. That whatever he was wearing that day is what I what I met him wearing but I don't have a picture of it because it wasn't like everybody got a picture back then. So I did get to meet Ozzie and talk to him.

Why don't you you did take a picture with him?

No, I told you ant like it was a no picture environment. But Elvis got a picture because his people were like, hey, let's get.

A got it now.

I wonder if you can ask chat GPT right now to say, show me a picture of Elvis Duran with Ozzy Osbourne.

I wonder if it'll come up.

I'm sure Google would happen. Hold on, I don't know, not Google but posted it. Yeah, I'm just you know, oh yeah, a little Dran and Ozzy Osbourne from jingle Ball. We'll see if that but chat gipt will definitely find it. So but anyway, anyway, that that that's I'm not seeing it. But it was a long time ago. I don't I don't know if he posted it, and truthfully, it's not the guy he's married to now that was with him, right,

That's awesome. So um let's see.

Yeah, I got a question for you. Yeah, you were talking about leaving with the water. I told you about BJ's. They tell you like check under your cart. Yes, I'm a member of Costco and BJ's. And by the way, who doesn't love a hosteale Bjhi? Uh?

Did I ever tell you I sold that joke? No for how much? I think I got seventy five bucks for it? They got ripped off. Well, okay, so you do you remember Sean? Yes? Yes, producers? Yeah, yes, yes.

So Sean was a very non funny guy who thought he was funny. Would that be fair to say? Yes?

And he had a laugh like.

Yeah, anyway, Sean, while he produced our show prior to you and I becoming producers, he won he did stand up here in the open mics whatever. So one day he mentioned BJ's wholesale and I said, I made that joke off the top of my head. Who doesn't like a host? Be a hostale Bjo? And he went, that's a great joke. Can I use that joke? I'll buy it from you. So I was like, well, I I sell jokes to Jay Leno and Bill Maher. I said, they give me seventy five bucks. He goes, I'll give

Yeah.

Well when you go, when you go up to sample the food, scary, do you say anything to the people who worked there?

Never?

No, you just take the food and walk away. Oh waity, if somebody's standing over the samples, and say hi, oh yeah, you of course filling the cops.

Yeah you got it.

Yeah, you have to actually make a little small talk to make it look like that you care, right, yeah, yeah, of course.

Why why wouldomen?

I'm at Costco this weekend, and you know they have that they set up at the end of an aisle. That's where they had the little into the aisle. You have to pass them the end cap yep, right, So this woman is in the aisle. It's a wide aisle, so you can walk by with your car pasted her.

No, this is really good. Don't even care what the product is.

I don't know if they've already like went by once and now and looped around.

How do you like take it and just take it and like leave? People are disgusting. I hate that. How rude? Is that completely obnoxious? They thank the woman or the guy working there.

They're not making a lot of money, they're serving you snaw, Hey, thanks, thank you. I'm not saying leave a tip, no, yeah, backhand the pig in the blanket.

Bam. People don't have any people don't know how to communicate anymore. We've lost that. You know, we're in the We're in the dusk.

We're in the twilight of communication, of human communication, don't you know. Yeah, look, I understand like you don't want to thank people online, but you're taking the woman's snacks. At least say hey, thanks, yeah, mixer, small talk, give him the neighbor wave, give in the head, give him the point. Ye appreciate it. Give the.

Boys podcast. We will be right back. I have a couple of small things for you. Your penis.

Yeah, I get it over with. Get to get it out of the way. First of all, I'm going to a pool party with Robin, my girlfriend this weekend. That's tomorrow, is right, Yeah, Well it helps all less you listen for the first time. That's why I gave it some context.

You should just be like my girlfriend Robin, like Rose Pook, Lomono, Vextebles.

And it's kind of weird because it's her uncle's house and it's all her side of the family and people who have some of them, which I've only met once or twice casually at a wedding and it and I don't know if I want to go in the pool. I gotta be honest and brody, you know me. I'm a pool slot. I mean, I see a pool, I'm jumping in. I'll jump into a puddle of water as long as it's outside anyway. It's an ing ground pool

And it's gonna be here. Is there a DJ by the pool?

I don't know if we go that far, but it's gonna be a hot sunny day. Why don't you want to go in the pool? You don't take your shirt off in front of everybody.

I just don't know.

I feel weird going in a stranger's pool with people I don't really know. I don't know is it right for me to go in this pool?

Should I am? I am?

I weird for the hotels, this people, the people in the pool, you don't know. Yeah, but those people are complete strangers. These people are rich people. These people are I'm embarrassed in front of acquaintances, but I'm comfortable.

Okay.

So the level of comfort well, because the level of comfort is extremely comfortable in front of strangers, not comfortable at all in front of like these acquaintance type people, and then extremely comfortable in front of my friends. It's like a dip in the action because these because I was like, I don't know, it's like they're not my

Come on over.

So I go to the party. I'm wearing, you know, a shorts and a T shirt normal for the summer. And I got a bag with my pull stuff in it. And I'm looking at the pool, very nice pool with rock formations and a waterfall, beautiful pool. And it occurred to me that when I change into my bathing suit and my T shirt, because again I burn, I always wear a T shirt. Am I going to be judged number one for wearing a T shirt by people that? Like, there's people there I knew from, like like high school,

In the pool?

Are they gonna like, are they gonna like judge me for swimming underwater rather than swimming over the water. Understand, I like to do flips in the water, But why is that guy flipping in the water? Like, why can't I be myself in the pool? You're not going around right if I go to like a hotel pool, You're right, nobody knows who you are. Somebody who gives a fuck? Now They're like, oh, isn't that Rob's friend David. Didn't he work at the radio stage? I know that guy,

Your close friends.

You could still you go back to doing your backflips and wearing a shirt in the pool, and they'll but the peripheral friends, yes, like you're you're You're at Robin's family's house. About thanks the guys she's dating all this time, like it's a kind of like a I know you, but I don't. That's the people I'm least comfortable with. And I don't know why I'm with him. All Right, I'm not going to I gotta I got a tangent conversation.

Never, never, even if I'm the only one here. Never.

Okay, well, okay, the reason I'm asking, I didn't ever go in my hot tub naked. But you feel like you feel like you're naked. Right, The water is going in your bathing suit and it's going in everything, right, Okay, So if if somebody else is in your hot tub, that water is going all over their private parts and the hot water throwing it up.

Yes, so.

If so, if my family was in the hot tub, I'm no problem with my family, right, But if if my kids were like, oh, We're gonna have some friends over have them in the hot tub.

I drained that.

Thing and refilled it. Okay, all right, Now that being said, we have a pool here in the community.

I go in the pool.

There's strangers in the pool. The water is mixing with their private parts, and they're under arms and their hair and their ears and then floating over to me. But I'm in the pool. You go in public pools, same thing. The water is up their ass. And in the janital area. Okay, water is everywhere. The reason I'm bringing this up is my realtor who I've talked about, the guy who sold my house.

He's a big slice.

Now he's gonna get a big hick out of this conversation and needs your opinion because I think I'm totally totally makes sense to me, Slices, I need to know if it makes any sense to you. So when he was in the process of selling our house, I had the hot tub on covered because I was heating it up. I don't know why I was uncovered whatever, the case was uncovered. So he walks over to it and he goes, oh, what kind of floating device do you have for the temperature?

Oh oh, what are you doing? Whoa? He goes, I'm just gonna.

I wanted to see what kind of a temperature gage you have in the hot tub or my chemical float or whatever it was. I go, I don't want your dirty hand in my hot tub. He's like, my hands are clean. I said, I don't want your body pops hot tub. That's a little much, Brodie, So hold on. So he calls me the other day and he says, I listened to your podcast. I heard you talking about your pool, community pool and the baby shitting in the

I don't know. I don't have I don't skive that, and I don't skip the community pool. Let me ask you a question.

Let's say you you and I were at a hotel, like you and I used to stay in hotel together when we used to go on business trips. And you're taking a bath. You're in the hot tub. You're taking a bath, Yeah, dude, do. And I'm like, scary, Can I come in for a minute? And You're like, well, I'm having a bubble bath. You can't see me naked, Sure, come on in. And I walk in, and it's scary

No, I would. You'd be okay. I stuck my foot in the tub you were in, I'd be okay with it. I'd be all right with it.

So the water is going between my toes and swimming over and unto your private area, Yeah, okay with that. I'm all right with it. It doesn't bother me. I'm not lying, right, all right, that's it, all right.

Listen.

Next week I'm going to tell you about about a surprise party, and this question really awkward situation been put in. Yeah, if you're if you're a restaurant eating the bowl, if you eat a bowl of soup, you eating a bowl of soup. Let's say it's let's say it's mons of bowl soup with dylling it. Yeah, and I stick my finger in the soup and then pull my finger out. You're fine with that. That's gross because that's going in my mouth. Everything in that bowl, the contents of that

In your nose, all right. You can tell us about next episode.

What's the story you were teasing the story it's about a surprise party and how I was put in a really awkward position.

Brocklyn Boys, Brolan Boys, brock