#323: Casket Shopping with the Cuz

reenactment of what happened. As we were about to sign on, the music came on and Brodie was like, what there it is and I'm like okay, and then we cut it and we should have. We should have actually issued that as the podcast. So then that would give the reason why we didn't issue a podcast. But we try. It's our new spinoff podcast, cough Time. We got it. Hi, Oh we got it. We did get in there. Uh but uh, we tried, but we failed. But you feel you look better, We'll call it cough Time. I got

a cough on the left. Y'all got a cough on the right, y'all got a cough got everybody wrote the song. Very few, very few people know that song. Yeah, great song, great song. How many people know White Lines that we did slice time exactly? Not many. It's not about the original song, it's about how great the parody sounds. This is true. So let's get the people know. You don't think people know the song set it off more than

White Lines. I think White Lines a little more. But anyway, it's all eighties free style stuff and yeah, let's let's so. I'm glad you're doing well. You look great, your your complexion is back, uh sort of, and uh, but you're still gonna to push it and go play pickleball. I don't understand. You tried playing pickleball Monday and somebody says to me, god, you look pale. I go, that's because I'm a jew, right, like no, no, like paler than normal. So I said, oh yeah, and I uh he was, oh,

no problem, I'm fine, I'm gonna try it. And I said, scary of well. Podcast Monday night after I come back for pickleball, He's like, guy, i's no problem. Yeah. Uh again, I got up to like three points and pickleball, and I started going. The cold air was rushing in my lungs like baby I was. I was in Beverly Hills because I was weezer. Well yeah, so yeah, but uh and oh, let's get the eight hundred pound gorilla out of the room. What's stretch that? Happy birthday? Happy Berry's down,

Scary's down a seven hundred and eighty pounds. Yea hioh, Well, happy birthday, that's what I wanted to show. Oh yeah, yeah, David Brody's birthday. Everybody, Well, not yet, but by the time you hear this, it'll be David Brodie's birthday. And the story come on, depends on when you hear this. You may hear it six months from me. You gonna hear it on Thursday. Most people listen to day after we issue it. So here we are, happy birthday. Okay, Well, I appreciate that. I just uh, I appreciate all the

thank yous in advance. It's fine, get any presents. You announcing my birthday was the greatest present of all. Wow, all right, it's not my birthday yet. You can't say it's my birthday already because people are going to listen to this in three days or four days or a week in my life as we record this, it's not my birthday yet, so you're not even in the birthday frame of mind. Even though it's six hours birthday frame of mind six seven hours away. It's not six or

seven hours away. It's seven and twenty minutes. Yeah the love seven hours. No, I'm not I'm not in the h I'm not in the frame of mind. Okay, not yet. All right, we'll get this. I've been sick. I've been sick. To me, it's like a week ago like this. This whole week's been a blur of me in bed most of the day and staying away from people and coughing and wheezing. And so you have plans for the weekend at least birthday, big birthday weekend coming up? A pickleball,

maybe pickleball? All right, No, I got it's been so popular. I didn't get in this weekend. Oh I'm on the wait list. Yeah, I don't know what my plans are. I don't know. I got dinner, I got dinner, plants on my birthday, obviously, duh. But I don't I don't know what I'm doing this weekend. Because I'm not excited about my birthday coming up. That's my birthdays on a Thursday and mine's on Monday. So I I gotta tell you, not really looking forward to it. I don't I don't know,

I don't really care. Yeah, well, I guess your problem is that you're you're on this diet planned, which, by the way, I'm looking at you, guys, if you haven't seen Scary Jones on social media, ron, I'm looking at him in a webcam. He's looking good. Thank you. You're not my duff anymore looking he's looking spelt well sort of. I'm only halfway there. Go ahead, finish it. There you go. I knew you living on a prayer, living on you know, not living on a prayer, living on boil chicken and

no oil or butter. So rockley. Yeah. So it'll eventually, you know, I'll make it another hopefully fifteen twenty pounds, and then we'll call it a day, and then I'll you know, start all over again. And then you know, people are asking me, why don't you try it? Why don't you just keep it off this time? Like it's that easy. I said it to you. Yeah, I know what everybody does. Everybody says it to me, but they don't ask what I see. I know you better, and

I know the plan better. What I said the scary was first, I said, Scary, you have such willpower, because when when I lose weight, it's very difficult. I have to, you know, but I don't. I don't go on this hardcore crash diet. I just start eating sensibly, smaller portions, not snacking, and I lose the weight a little slower than Scary does. But what Scary does? It takes so much willpower? Is it? Scary? You have this willpower? Why not when you become third quarter scary like you sometimes do?

Why not do another couple of weeks of detox in the summer. I could, and scar and Scary says to me, oh, I could, mentally, but dude, I'm gonna be at the beach and at rooftop bars and on vacation. I can't. I can't not eat right now. It's the winter. I don't give a ship. I got it so right exactly, now's the time to do this stuff. So then I said, Scary,

how about this? How about just you pick like one or two days a week that you eat this way and then five days a week, like the weekend, Thursday and Monday, or Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and and and Wednesday. You eat like a pig, not like a pig, but like you normally do, like give on like a gov on then and said, if you if you eat healthy just two days a week, you might be able to keep off most of the weight and it might be good for your heart and your and your cholesterol in

your heart. He's like, you know what, that's not that's not a bad idea. I don't know. I don't know, so I I I admire scary now. But you know he loves he loves those restaurants. Yeah, I really do. It's my way of communication. I mean, that's how I communicate with people is through food and drink. So that that's that's my social life. That's my world, right. You know. He goes up his girlfriend on Friday and he's like, hey, Robin, this weekend. H yeah, we played our dinner for Saturday night.

We play on a Sunday brunch Italian food. Yeah, okay, I'll come out and see you. All right. It's it's gotten so bad. My girlfriend does he want to see me? She's literally took took took a knee on hanging out last week. Yeah, I said, Scary calls me on Saturday night. I said, scary, what's wrong? He's like, what do you mean? I go, Skar's scary. It's a Saturday night. What are you doing? Whatever? There's everything okay, He's like, yeah, man,

I'm just chilling. What do you mean you're chilling this? Uh well, Robin's doing dry January, so we can't drink and I'm not eating, so she doesn't want to see me. I go, scary, there's not you don't want to cuddle, you don't want to like watch them. Eh no, there's no food, no drink. He's out. It's because, if you think about it, I don't want to put her through this. Why she's not she doesn't have to lose weight. Look

at her. You can see right through her when when she well, no, she's perfann she's no, she's she's very healthy and and uh you know the week before I'm like cooking all healthy for us, and I'm like, you know, she's going along with the program because she doesn't one insult me. And I cooked made dinner for both of us, and she was like money. It's very crazy. Ross. Sweet, I'll let you come over and we'll have some Broccolian carrots and a nice cold glass of water. Yeah, I'll

be right over. Yeah. So yeah, yeah. The Scary Jones calls you on a Saturday, you know something's wrong. So right, So there's combine that with football Sunday, watching the two games of who's going, you know, to decide who's going to the super Bowl. There was no way she was hanging out. She fucking detests football. She can't stand watching football. There's nothing that interests her. Lettuce so sold you say nothing that interests her lettuce less? Oh you said lettuce

let us that's what I'm having for dinner. With having lettuce wraps with Scary is having lettuce on a bed of lettuce. No, I'm having Buffalo Buffalo Soldier. Not not Buffalo tenders or Buffalo Chicken. I'm having a Buffalo Buffalo bills else had them the Chiefs? Did they? Sure? Did they ate their lunch? God, I'm so pissed about that.

Don't complain about the refs. Score fifty points like the Eagles did, So don't let it come down to one one call by a ref and it's by the way, it's it's it's It's absolutely impossible to rig an NFL game. It's the most bet on sport in the world. Stop it. No, no, no, it's not it's not rigged. It's just stupid by the call by the refs. You know, whyn't they just check

that out again? Like I don't understand who made that final Okay, you know you know, you know who didn't complain about the spot of the first down that Josh Allen didn't get. You know who didn't complain about chis no the Bills. The Bills, Oh, the Bills. The Bills could have thrown a challenge flag and challenged the spot of the ball. And then what they did on fourth down was they ran the Toush push to the left side, which is all they did all game. Toush push to

the left side, Tousch push to the left sid. I would have killed them to hand the ball off to James Cook, who's one of the best running backs in football and do something a little different. So don't please, I don't overdo the non football fans, all right, but stop whining about the refs. The Eagles went out and scored fifty points against the Commanders. That's how you win a playoff game. Won go to the World Series. Fucking score, and don't blame the fucking refs. You know, didn't you know?

He didn't blame the refs. The Bills didn't blame. Bills didn't blame But yet everybody's crying about, oh thee the poor Bills. The Bills didn't didn't throw a penalty flag. The Bills didn't complain about it, then filed a grievance with the league. So all right, all right, all right, hey, speaking of football, when the Eagles went listen, the Eagles fans have a reputation of being brutal. And I've been

to a lot of Eagles football games. Oh, don't forget last year at this time, I went to see the Giants play the Eagles with Giants jerseys in their territory, and it well, did you see the video going around of the redskin fan who was leaving the playoff game and then he was surrounded by Eagles fans walking to the parking lot. No, they took his hat, they took his redskins. Well that's not I want to talk about

something that's that's sad. And also ironic and I'm not making fun one of the things they do in Philly, And I don't know why. Like you, you want your team to win, you're excited, I get it. They burn the city down. Well not this time. Don't. First of all, don't fire guns in the air. There was video of a guy saw that shooting the gun. Stop it. You know what happens to bullets that get shot in the air, They come down. People have been killed by bullets that

fall back down to earth. Stop it. Uh that That's been a public service announcement from David Brody the Brooklyn Boys podcast. All but the big thing in Philly, and I don't know why this is, is they climb the flight poles, the lamp poles, right, So in Philly they grease them. Yep, they grease them. But instead of that being a deterrent, it becomes a challenge. But he's knuckleheads. Oh they're gonna grease the Paul for my safety. Fuck that,

I'm going up to poul anyway. Well, a kid, yes, a kid Sunday, I guess during the game or after the game. Eighteen year old kid goes to went to Temple University from Canada, not even a Philadelphia area guy. Now, like got he grew up an Eagles fan. He's a gymnast for a temple gymnastics team, and he figured, you know what, I'm a gymnast. I got this. He got this. So he climbs the pole, he slips off the pole and falls. Now I have to assume he was inebriated,

because again he's a gymnast. Did he bend his way and land? Uh no, he's dead awful. This is said horrible way to go to commercials. My point is, be safe when you celebrate for the Super Bowl. We don't want to lose anybody. Right. If you hate the Chiefs and they lose and you're like, oh my god, I'm going out and I'm gonna climb a flag pole or a lamp, put, don't do that. We love you. Be safe. I feel terrible for the kid and his family. But he wasn't

even an Eagles fan. That's the worst part. He just wanted to prove a point. But yeah, so as we go to commercials, H scare who you're rooting for in the Super Bowl. This kills me. Gus a Giants, a Giants fan. I want to I want to I want to root for the Chiefs because I'm a Giants fan, but you can roof because I'm a Saquon guy, because he was from the Giants and now he's on the Eagles, and because I hate the Chiefs even more than the Eagles, and I don't want to see the three peete I

think it's it's it. I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to root for the Eagles. So if you're a Giants fan and you're like, what I mean, actually, I don't. This is there's no winning for me and and Giants fans and you we all know that. But I'm gonna have to eat crow eat bird eagle, all right? What about you? Well, I like the Eagles, and the Eagles owner Jeffrey Lauria is the founder of the Ronald McDonald

House Charities. All right, where I as a camp counselor, and he did a lot of goods, got a lot of good work in Philly at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. On the other hand, Patrick Mahomes, his father, pitched for the Mets Okay at a time when Mahomes was was an eight to twelve twelve year old boy. Mahomes grew up a Mets fan. This pictures him online running in the outfield with the Mets. He wears a Mets jersey all the time. That's not a strong enough connection for me.

The dB hold on, he's a Mets fan, and I gotta respect that, you know, I happened to I like the team. I like Andy Reid. I think I think the way they ran him out of Philadelphia, he was the longest, I think the most for you all are You're going to say the Chiefs, But no, I'm saying it's very tough for me. I haven't said, yeah, okay, think of it this way. The Eagles versus Tailor Swift fans. No. I like Taylor Swift though her fans are my daughters. So what are you saying, oh and so is a

bad example. I don't know. I feel like that would make more people. I think it's scary. You're the problem. It's you. I'm the problem. It's and Brody. I gotta say, you're gonna make one more football reference. You can make it football reference. Oh you want to continue the football references? You said if the Chiefs win will be the first time in the in NFL history, that is a three p three. Now, the three peat is a great word, right because it's repeat, but three peat correct, So three

times over the history of that word. I do not a guy named Pete.

right now? Because we don't. We don't. But like if shirts are printed officially, like if they if the NFL prints three peat shirts, I believe he gets money for that. Wow. He's now the president of the Miami Heat. He doesn't coach anymore, but it was his word. He came up with the word, I believe, and if the Heat win a couple of times, they could be a Heat peat and he can trademark that or a three peat. Three

Pete I'm sorry, that's all right. Listen. I was going down a rabbit hole as I often do on TikTok, were you're that hungry for the rabbit? And I'm kind of upset because I realize now it was an old video and this place doesn't exist anymore. But do you remember a place or ever hearing about a place called Karen's Diner. There's a place that was. Is that where everybody goes in? As for the manager, No, it's a bunch of Karen's that work there. So I was watching

a family play a joke on Grandma. They took Grandma to Karen's Diner. It's an Australian and UK kind of chain establishment, and as soon as they walk in, like then, they start cursing at the grandmother. They're like, hey, let's show you your table. Oh, you want your menus? And they drop them on the floor and they make the family pick up the menus, and the grandmother's beside herself like and someone's taping her, like what the fuck's going on?

They didn't let Granny in on the joke that they that you're there for the uh, you know, a side order of you know, as a nasty yeah, rudeness, arrogance. Stick, Yeah, the stick. So, like you know, obviously places like Dick's Last Resort they do that or member Cravty Country Club

a cheap beer and lousy food, warm beer and lousy food. Yeah, there was a place in our old neighborhood on next in bay Ridge, the neighborhood over Crazy Go and it'd be a guy who looked like Uncle Fester from the Iris family there and they would like pick one of your group out. You go with a group and they were like making it out of a dog bawl yeah, and be belligerent, nasty y you. Yeah. So so Karen's Diner has since closed. I think at twenty twenty three

they closed and now they do some pop ups. So I was obviously watching an old video. But there aren't places. I mean, yeah, okay, Dick's Last Resort I believe does that, and Krabby Dix is the other place that people have been saying. But I, for whatever reason, have this fascination

with wanting to go there. Is that weird of me, like I want to go and be like demean like demeaned and like remember that time I went to Wiener's Circle in Chicago, the place where I think we talked about it on this podcast in one of the earlier episodes where they literally start cursing at you and just the nastiest, rudest service ordering hot dogs. Does a hot dog stand in Chicago? Oh yeah, yeah, yep, Wiener Circle. Apparently they still are like that, and you know they

pride themselves on that for whatever reason. I'm kind of upset that Karen's dying or closed and now I got to find a Dick's last resort because I want to go there have a meal, and for me, it would be entertaining to sit there and just take it. I want to And and I was telling Elvis in the Morning Show this and they were like, well, that says a lot about you, you know. Yeah, you're like one of those guys that pays women to walk on their back with stilettos. Yeah, they're saying, it's like a kink

on you. It's like a kink you need to be dominated? Is that a king of Nothing wrong with that, I mean, it's it's I guess it's defined as a kink. But if if you need to be shipped on, not literally or abused, maybe that's why you know, you enjoy when Elvis yells at you. Sometimes I want to sit there and take it. He probably knows you like it. And by the way, he doesn't yell at you. He just kind of like, yeah, teases you. But maybe you like that.

I don't know. I feel like I want to go to a restaurant like this and just sit there and enjoy. For me, what would be entertaining if people want something like your dad yelling at you a lot as a cad? You know, well, that's the Does this harken back to a time in my youth? Is this something? Is this like a psychology money? Stupid Anthony? I don't need an electric garbage pail in my kitchen. Get out of here. He's stupid. Where's doctor Phil? I mean? Why is it

that I crazy to see what doctor Phil is? Yes? I did, I saw Doctor Phil is. I love But we talk about it. I just quickly landed doctor Phil. Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Yeah. So, But but I just want to know why is it that I have this? And maybe maybe you don't. How do you feel about that? Would you? How would you? David Brodie in The Dick's Last Resort or Karen's Diner. What would how would how would it go down? I don't think you would take it. I think you would bark back at them and you

would take it personally because I wouldn't. I would go as as an as a challenge assignment to outdo them, or I would go there to get like a get a job to do it like for the day, like hey, hey, can I work here for a day for free? And I would like abuse people. That would be a great job for me. I think that. I think that staff loves working those places because they get to a steam whole day. Yeah. But to go there and be like verbally abused by somebody, I don't That's not what I

would look for in life. Now, if a comedian did it at a comedy club, they were very clever, you know, like, oh, you know, like if I went with my wife to a comedy club and they're like making fun of the fact that she's better looking than me, you know, they'd be like, Okay, I get that. Yeah, But if I go to a comedy club and the guy's like, you know, hey, you're fucking ugly, that's not clever to me. So if I went to this one of these places and they're like,

you know, insulting me. It wasn't clever, and I found it to be accurate. I don't think I would enjoy that, but I feel like you would be like, oh, yeah, my nose is a little bitger than normal. Yeah, okay, I'm not saying.

found it hilarious. I think if two gay men go to a place like that, I think they're they're going knowing they're gonna get shit for going there, and they get right picked on a little bit. I think that's what you expect. Yeah yeah, But for whatever reason, I feel like you and I need a road trip to Dick's last resort. I don't know where the nearest one is. I have heard the nearest remember Lisa Lampinelli, our friend, the comedian, of course you remember her. Yeah, she was

an insult comic. Her whole shtick was insulting people. So she would insult you based on your race or ethnicity, whatever, and then she'd come on our show and she'd call you a terrorist because you look like you were Middle Eastern and must saying that's her accurate, but that's what she'd say. And she'd she'd call Elvis' names for being gay, whatever, and then people would call up them like, hey, I'm Puerto Rican, insult me, insult me like they wanted, like

hey I'm I'm Indian and Chinese? What do you got? What do you got? Right? So she would insult people, right, but she was doing an equal opportunity not to be hurtful, and people were enjoying it. If you're in the mindset to enjoy it, that's great. But ever every uh Indian person she insulted on the phone who want to be insulted. I'm sure there were Indian people listening who were offended by it and didn't want to be insulted. But if you're going into it, go to those place. Yes, if

you're voluntarily like going into these restaurants. You know what you're gonna get side? If I would run, I don't know if i'd run there so fast unless it was for like a bachelor party for you, where I knew you'd be the target. I want a side of SaaS, please, we gotta go. You should sit to one meal with me there, and it would be hysterical. I think it would. Are you inviting me to a meal? Yeah, you know what, I'm gonna get your steak dinner there? How about that? No, No,

that it's okay. I don't need I don't need a rubber steak. I don't go to a steak dinner. It was it was a sirloin burger. Come on. I don't know. We'll figure something out, but I would love something out. I would love to go to Dick's. You know what I'm saying, Hey, maybe you can get some Zeman on your face and then go there. The zaman of the injection,

the injection or whatever. Yeah, that's my botops injection that I got that one time, which, as you could see, looks like they need to stick me with a second dose. The wrinkles that come you know what, while you're getting wrinkles you're losing weight, so the fat and your forehead's gone. That's not keeping you tight anymore. Oh that's what's going on. Yeah, I gotta fill it back up again. I gotta get weight.

You're getting loose skin. Yeah, that's right. You get loose skin now from the that's why you get wrinkles, loose skin, loose skin. Did mornings on that rock station in that loose is loose skin and the boarded el skin for you locals. So you just you just hit yourself on the microphone. I just hit my I hit my nose on the mic. I don't know how that happen. I'm just scary bent down for a second after I made my comment and he went, bo't right like that. I said,

your nose is big. I said, that's gonna I got a Roman nose, and it's yeah, yeah, you're doing the Romans. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Hey. I saw on Facebook a guy said he was hoping with the Jets hiring a new head coach. He says, maybe we'll finally see a light at the end of the rainbow. What that's not, that's not the expression. It's a light at the end of the tunnel. Or a pot of goal at the end of the rainbow. So he can, yeah, he can. This will be our light at the end

of the rainbow. You know, that wasn't the stupidest thing I heard all week, though it was. It was the Philly mayor trying to spell eagle. Should we play that for them? And you have the audio, I'm sure. Let me set up while you're looking. Let me set up while you're looking. So the Jets chant is jay E T S jets, Jets, jets. The eagles chant is the same exact chant. It's e A G L E S eagles, which some of you may have realized is the same chant.

You have to be able to spell jets, which is only four letters, and then you say jets jet jets to make it seven, right, But the Eagles you have to you have to spell e A G L E S Eagles. Well, the mayor, so I saw one late night comedy show, I think it was Colbert. When they showed it, they put the letters on the screen as she was spelling it. Said it in night Live did it and didn't show the letters, so you couldn't follow along as easily. Have it. Scary Philly, he said, We've got to do this.

saw a guy, white guy. He's talking about I think it was a sports show. I didn't get the audio, and he says, uh. He kept saying, you know what I mean, but you know people like ya. I was down at the store and I was hungry, and I was blah blah blah. You know what I mean. This is what he said. You know what I mean. The guys want He says, uh, you know, I like the guy. You know what I mean. If you say I like the guy, where is the confusion in that I like

the guy? You know what I mean? So you're you're pretty much right, because you really need to confirm and explain. There's some confusion there. I like the guy, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know you mean you like the guy. It's too much, but you know what I means, save him for like at least three word sentences. You gotta take a break, you know what I mean? Five word sentences. I like the guy is four sods particular break Boys podcast. We will be right back. You take

breaks just when I'm having fun. Why do you fight me on these things? You know, we have to do them, you know, But I'm here for the people as am I. But it's not my I'm just happen to be the one running the equipment. So I it's like, okay, I have to be referee and jump in there. Yeah, right, all right? Scary? Do you believe in being nice to strangers always? Because you never know who you get talking to?

You never know, right, And if you have an opportunity to help a guy out or make your life lootle easier, you would you would do that always. So I had to go to one of the many post offices in my area, and one of them, you pull into the parking lot, and when you get out of the car, you have to walk along a path and then you go around a large bush. You make a left around the bush, you walk straight the bush, the hedge keeps going and then you make a left, and there's the

door to the post office. So when you're getting out of your car, you cannot see the door to the post office because it's around the bush. Make a left, yep, Okay, So I'm pulling into the parking lot at the post office on Saturday, and oh, I want to say, it's one fifty nine. And the post offices in my area all close at different times, and I don't always remember which ones close at four on Saturday, which ones closed at five, one of them closes at noon. Whatever. I

can't keep track all the times. All I know is I had a large box. I had a ship. So I'm going to the post office. So I got I get out of my car. I go to the side door, you know, the rear door. I get this giant box that I'm holding, you know, with both hands, and it's it's a little lower than my chin, but it's a big box, you know. And I'm walking and I'm walking along the make the turn by the bush, and I got to walk, you know, maybe ten feet along the bush before I make the left where I can see

the doors. Okay, And a woman comes around the bush, customer just left the post office with what looks to be a small package in her hand. Uh huh. And she sees me, makes eye contact, walks by me, and I don't think anything of it. I keep walking. I make the left, I walk up to the doors, and I'm struggling to get the door opens. I got these this large box in my hand. Huh. And the door's going boom boom, door's not opening. Huh. And I look and it says we close at two o'clock. They closed

it too. It was one fifty nine when I one fifty Saturday, I said it was Saturday. Was Saturday? Okay? So all right, So the woman with the small package in her hand already fucking knew the doors were locked. Has she yelled at you? No, the fact that she walked by me and didn't mention while I was carrying the large box by the way, sir, rather than walk up the path and make a left and then struggle

open the doors, what you do? And she knew she had the knowledge, and she could have warned you and saved you all that grief and hey, hey, struggles they're closed, just so you know they're closed. Yeah, I would give them the courtesy. But wait a second, what if it was, uh, you know, one of those two way locks where walking out, she pressed pushes the door out and leaves. That's an interesting idea. But no, I go to that post office. It's a regular old door. Wait a second, she got handled,

there's no flappity flaps. She got out, no go in. She knew the doors were locked, that's why she was holding her I thought, I'm so sorry she would I thought maybe she had just come from Look make an excuses for the lady. Well, I want to think. I want to believe that that people have your best interest at heart, and that I want in this world. Have you not been paying attention? I want to think about the the best, the good in this world, that good

people out there. So I thought, maybe she was just walking out of the post office and the door was locked on the way in, but not on the way out, because you could walk out but not in. But you're telling me she clearly too got turned away because she had the package in her hand. You assumed that that was the case, and she didn't give you any warning either. When I walked past her and saw the package, I thought, maybe, all right, maybe she was there to pick up a package. Well,

maybe she was, And maybe that's what I'm saying. How do you you're assuming she didn't get in. You didn't see her walk out of the place or walk You didn't see her walk up to the place. You only saw her halfway back to her car, So you don't know for a fact that she did that. She did get in or you know, didn't get in. So scary that the shrubs are not higher than I am. The bush and the shrubs block the door, but you could see if the door at the top of the door,

you would see the door open. My point was the lights were already off in the post office. She knew. That was all I'm saying is she didn't give you the courtesy. She didn't give you the courtesy right. I went to a post office once, so the doors were closed. I went back down the steps, got in my car, and as I was leaving, I saw someone was pulling up. So I and I said, there was an old person in the car. So I waited. I rolled down my window. I waited from the stop, turned the engine off, rolled

down the window. I excuse me, And I said, don't bother going up the steps, ma'am, because it was an old lady. And don't bother going up those steps because they're closed. You want to do that, I've seen you in action with that stuff. But to her polite to her defense, uh, you look shady. So I don't want to get involved. Box. Why would I would have had she had, she said, sir, the doors were closed, I would have dropped my box and assaulted her right there.

That's that's the vibe people give what you one looking there like, I don't want to talk to this guy. I'm not gonna get involved. I'm gonna ignore, says angry belligerent person than this face the post to the podcast. You're the poster child for that. Yeah, exactly. Well, let me give you another postal story. Can I give you another postal story unless you have something? I mean I have something, but we'll wait for No, it's just something a little bigger. Oh no, the bigger is better. You

go with your bigger ones. Now one is a little thing. Look, give me a little thing. Okay, speaking of on the bing of my pants, I'll tell you a story about the bathroom experience. I'll tell your bathroom experience. I didn't get to tell you about last episode because it was a couple of weeks ago. Remember I told you I went to see an off Broadway show my friend Jeff. And it's in the village and it's this little old, like nineteen twenties theater, very old school like everything's like

built from like in the thirties. It's old, it's old place. Well I went, I went to use the bathroom, and uh, I said, where's the excuse me, sir, where's the men's room? And the guy said it's right there. So I was, okay, it's right there. We were in the balcony and there was a concession stand and I went to the door. I went in the bathroom and it's an old bathroom, has like the radiators by the window and whatever. Has it got the urinal all the way down to the

floor one of those? No, it didn't, it didn't. It didn't have the old urinals which I found. Uh uh uh it didn't. You know what it did have? It had one of the ur urinals, if I remember correctly. I don't remember if there were two, but I think it was for the ladies out there. Urinals are just usually these small, half sized things, and now the old school ones, old ones from your shoulders all the way down to the floor. It's crazy. It's like it's like

a body size urinal, like a man sized urinal. And again I don't I gotta pronounce you. It's blurry. I didn't need to peace. I don't remember if it was a urinal or not. So I go in the stall, very nice stall, I do my business. I come back out. I'm washing my hands at the sink, and the other stall door opens. Oh, okay, do we have and a very pretty woman walks out. Uh who had just been in the stall? Okay, and she comes to wash your hands next to me. Now, I want to set the

stage here. I'm sure anyone who listens this podcast knows I have no problem with women in the men's room because I've been to football games where women come into the men's room all the time. But it was weird because I was at a play, I was at a show, and you know, I'm washing my hand. It's just if you don't expect it, it's unusual. And I was like, and you know, because when you're in the bathroom, as you know, I don't know how women are in the

bathroom by themselves. But the men are like, they're farting and making noises and they don't care. They're not like, they're not courtesy flushing, they're not trying to cover up the noise. They don't give it. They don't like whatever you hear all kinds of bathroom It was, yes, but I didn't realize that. Okay, if you don't know it in advance, but did you for a second they didn't have urinals there? Because they did not. Now I said,

I don't remember the being Europe. They couldn't have been, because then it would have been an all men's bathroom because when it's well, it had to have been built at some point. My point is, there may be two bathrooms on the mezzanine level, right, but the one I went into used to be a women's bathroom. I'm assuming. I just don't remember if there were urinals there, or these individual doors that each door there's a toilet and

a door, there's a door behind. So if someone's behind a stall, I mean really, I have no reason to care one way or another who's in the stall, male or female. As as a man, I'm saying this. I'm just saying it was weird to look over my shoulder, like normally expect some burly looking fact that to come out of their Yeah, who's like, ye, don't that shit up? You know, because that's what guys do in the bathroom. They like they awkwardly like brag about how they blew

it up. And this woman came out and she's powdering her nose, and I'm like, well, this is refreshing. It's actually nice to see a pretty person in the bathroom as opposed to some big, fat guy who just blew it up. Yeah, so that's all. I just yeah, it was one of those stories. I was like, you know what, that was an interesting story. It was a pleasant change this And she said, you know what, she said to me. We showed me the bathroom, washed my hands. What you say, shit, hello,

hi hello. She smiled and went and washed her hands. Other guys usually don't do that. They always go, they don't say hi, they just go fucking thing doesn't turn on. Oh I got a scambony for you. Oh this is fairly quick. You got the jingle let's get a bone. And this is something that's happened to me several times before. But also it was reminded. I was reminded because I saw it on TikTok. A guy don't ask you for train money. No, no, no, no, this is a scam.

Dollars no, no no. A lot of places when you go to hotels and have sit down at the bar or a restaurant usually attached to a hotel or in a big tourist area, sure, specifically talking about South Beach, Miami, where they they include the gratuity in those bills. So if they they they jump, they put the twenty percent on there for you. Okay, So now I remember this happening quite a bit when I was in South Beach, and now I'm wondering if I fell for it a

couple of times inadvertently. Whenever you get an answer is yes. Whenever you get the check, what are you The first thing you see is the itemized receipt. Then usually you give them your credit card and they take the whole thing away and they come back with your credit card. But if they don't include the itemized bill on the second go round, they've fucked you. They've scammed you because they had the twenty percent built in, which you would

have seen on the itemized check. But now that it's not in front of you and you just see the total amount and then a gratuity line and your signature, because that's like the secondary receipt, you would be more prone and tricked into leaving a twenty percent gratuity because you just you're you know, the knee jerk reaction is what let me add twenty percent when you have already left a forty percent tip at that point, because you

didn't you didn't realize that. In a lot of hotels, restaurants, and places that are touristy, the gratuity is built in and the only time it's listed is in the itemized receipt in the very beginning, and they'll say twenty percenttuity. So if you didn't notice it in round one, they take your card away, you sign it, they bring it back to you, you're kind of you're, you know, be suspicious if they don't give you the receipt back with the itemized copy again. A lot of times they'll just

remove that itemized copy. So they're like, it's like the old bait and switch. Right. Well, you see, but you had to paint the proper picture of that one hundred percent. What you're saying is the warning that your tip is included is correct, and then they put a line in it that says additional tip. Right. You know who doesn't fall for that? David Brody doesn't fall for that, right, because David Brody looks immediately and knows that it if

the tip is already added. Because I want to know I want to know, like, oh, is the eighteen to twenty percent already included? Is this why the service sucks because they know it's included already. Buyer beware if they don't include the itemized bill on the second go round, that means that means there's something something in the milk clean No, no, it's not that they don't take it.

Guess what, But there's an opportunity to fuck you. You know, it's those it's one of those well, like you know, we won't tell them, but if it happens, it happens. But most bars in restaurants though, let me finish here, most bars and restaurants will give you. We'll keep it there for you. So you get you get two three copies, You get two and the third. Okay, there's no reason to take the itemized bill out unless you want to do something a little Yeah. Slices here here is here's

your homework slices. If you've ever been a server and the tip was included and then somebody left the full tip not realizing it, what have you done? What would you do? Not tell them? And if you and if you weren't a server, what would you do if you were never been a server before. But let's say you are. You were the server here and you got a twenty three dollar tip, and then the personally went and put a twenty one dollar tip one because they clearly didn't

realize it. Would you be like, wow, they must really like me. You're like, oh, they fucked up, but I'm not gonna tell them. Yeah, I hope there's some honest slices, but will so leave us your what your real thoughts are. Yeah, we're gonna have some different opinions of our slices. I also have to tell you about my cousin Carmine and what I am responsible for doing now And wait a minute,

did you get this? Did you get his ashes? I got something to tell you in the slices, And it's it's hard for me to talk about, but easy for me to talk about in this podcast because we've gone down this road in this podcast. All right, very good and scary. But thefore the commercial break, did you insinuate that my cousin Carmine has passed away? Yeah? I think I could. Well. Which is the cousin That is the

painter who died. That's my great uncle Gino oh gino them mind who could keep track slices of my right Italian name is Vinny Guido. I don't know. I thought you were talking about this is the one who has the members only jackets exactly. They all sound like they own pizzerias. I actually asked him. I asked because you mentioned his ashes. I'm like what wait a second. Yeah, But like I was like, oh, I got when I said it. I'm like, oh, I think he's dead. Well,

so I no, my uh no, I'll say this. That's what the story is about. It's it's about preparing for his death. I mean, this morbid history of doing things that are I don't know. Well, yeah, the headstones with almost everybody's name on it, right, you remember when my parents got that a couple of years back, and you know, there's all this stuff to swirling around My aunt mill Remember my aunt Millie the Emil story with my She didn't we didn't tell her that her family member, yeah,

that her sister in law is dead. So we just revealed it. We kept the ruse going for a while that she was still alive. And then she Emily came to Thanksgiving and we told her there at the table, like, oh,

where's Jenny, Oh, she died. What I told you? I told you We lied to my my grandmother, right, yeah, yes, my aunt her daughter died and we didn't tell her because you know, medically they were told us like, oh, my grandmother had like six months to live, so we're like, well, don't tell her because you know why why upset her for six months? And then she lived for a couple of years. But to keep the lie going, why isn't my daughter calling me? So you know she the phone's not working?

single guy and bachelor. Yeah, bachelor and uh. He basically came to me and said, yo, so I want you to be the man. I'm like, what do you mean to be? The man. Now, we were tight growing up. He's a huge Met fan. So we've seen some games together, we've gone, we we that's where we meet, that's our common ground, that's where that's where we are weird. And the bachelor thing, well, I guess so I But but for the you know, living well living, he lives lived

at home. He still lives at home. He lives in the same house he grew up, in his same bedroom he had as a kid, and he never left the nest and now he's in the nest by himself. So being the closest person to him in my side of the family, he like, Yo, I want you to be the executor of my will. I want you to be power of attorney. I want you to Look, this is like heavy stuff, but he said, look, the thing is, I need you to come to the funeral home with

me because everything's going to be set up. I don't want to have to pay one you have to pay a penny out of your pocket. I don't want anyone to think about it when I pass. I just want all the notes to be just you know, written, you know, unleashed, and everything is going to be written out and everything's gonna be paid for and it's all good, but I just need you to be there to like kind of facilitate things because someone has to be named. So I said, sure,

Carl will come down. So I went with him to the funeral home a couple of days ago. This is wild, brody and weird, it is. And we're sitting there with the funeral director and we're talking about the future of you know, Carmine's future death and how it's going to play out, and you know the type of ceremony he wants, you know, does he want these mass cards and like the funeral directors holding up all this stuff, and you know,

he picked out a casket. So so you know, I signed all the papers and I get through all of it with some jokes, and you know Carmine, you know, he's just like he's he's a barrel of laughs. He's I wish he would have come on the podcast. He didn't want to come on, but he said, yeah, I tell the story. So one ques at the very end, sorry, one, you get a discount for this stuff? Yeah? Do you get twenty twenty five pricing for Yeah, he lives on the twenty so and that's that's a public service to

the slices. The the major advantage you have of doing all this. Here's your big win for listening. Here's the win. Here's it. You want Boggins, you want discounts, you want coupons. Yeah, I'm aware of this. Yeah. Plan at your funeral from front, in its entirety, from beginning to end, everything that would any cost that would affiliated with it. And you are locked in on prices for things for a lot of the stuff. So and it's going to be there for you in a separate fund. By the way, the funeral

home doesn't hold it. It goes to like a funeral fund where you can choose to use the credit anywhere you want. But anyway, it's good and it's important to have your place put where your final resting place, maybe because you're locking in at twenty twenty five prices, and all these prices do is go up. In fact, he

showed me like like my grandparents planned their stuff. My aunt Milly planned this stuff in the nineties, and we buried her two years ago, and we conceive the disparity of how much the price would have been if it was tim today's world. So it's Brody Brodie, this this guy, your name written all over login. Hey my aunt died,

but boy did I save some money. So everything was going well up until after all the papers were signed and I got through it and we were laughing and whatever, and then the funeral director goes, well, so you want to pick out your your your casket? Oh god, I couldn't. And I'm like, I'm looking at him, and he's like, he goes, yeah, what the hell? So he, the funeral director, takes the both of us downstairs to a room where

all these it's like a showroom of caskets. I felt like I was in a a in a a car dealership. You know, You're walking around and he's seeing all the models. You've seen all the model caskets, and they're all all been of course, there's nothing in them. They're they're brand new, and they're He didn't. He didn't get in to see how they feel, right. He joked that he wanted to go. And I'm like, you're not going in this now, No

you're not. But you know, and he didn't. You have to understand calmine to really grasp the story, because this is the kind of guy he is. He just get this straight. This catch, this is this is a catch. How is he still single? Ladies, he's on the market. There's there's still timet time, his funeral is all paid up and ever mean he's paid for. You're sliding to

a situation, you know. So he basically we went downstairs and he's kind of like, all right, so maybe this model here is they inexpensive by the way they arrange from like three thousand dollars to like you could spend like twenty five thirty thousand dollars maybe more on a casket, depending on if you want you know, uh, steel like stainless steel versus copper, or you want you want subwoofers

and amps and they have extra speakers. Yeah, and he's like looking around, he goes, he goes, what the hell do I care? I mean, Dad, no one's gonna even say this damn thing. And I'm like, well, wait a second call. You know you are connected to the church. He still is. He does a lot for the church.

I said, you can you get a church discount? No, I said, why do Why don't you you would think, but I said, you know, you do have a lot of these people from the church that may come see you, So maybe you want to you want something a little bit you know, has some like etched things on the side, because there's because there's all kinds of styles and each style has oh you know, you know it has like he could start to go fund the dead met maybe

that could be like a new thing. So he settled on a nice, moderately priced casket, and I looked at him like, dude, what the hell are you might as well go out in style, bro, I'm like, you know, want to be the richest guy in the cemetery, Just you know, get one of the more expensive ones. So he got maybe he leaves you in the whale, dumb ass, dude, who's gonna get all Who's gonna get all his millions? I'm not thinking about that right now. He's got to

sell that house someday. I'm not thinking about that right now. I have nephews, don't forget. I got nephews, I got cousins, we got people. You're an executour, I know. So all right, So anyway, nephews, we picked out something. I helped him pick out a moderately priced something that was kind of like, yeah, this is this is respectable. Let me ask you a question. If the caskets were cars. You obviously didn't get the

BMW of caskets, and you didn't. I'm not going to insult anyone who owns a cheap car, but you didn't get a cheap key is a very nice the logo is not kidding. Let's go from key to BMW. I'm kind of like at ah, I think he picked out the the the souped up Honda Accord. All right, well that's nice Toyota Camry. He wait, a fully loaded Toyota Camry. All right, but key is these days are more expensive than than the camera. Then it's a bed, all right.

Then maybe it's maybe it's more maybe maybe it's a Lexus, Maybe it's a lect maybe maybe you know, maybe like yeah, yeah, okay, BMW is in the top of the line either, So it's like no, but I'm in this scenario. It is because you're a guy. You're a BMW guy. Yeah, well, you got a Dodge charger that you're saying anyway, I was, I kind of tell you it's no, it's made of like a stainless steel. It's it's like a yeah that would protected himself from the elements. Yeah, it's not. Yes, Next,

levels no worms nice next level? Yeah that would so yeah. I mean I don't know how to feel about this, but like I in the moment, as awkward as it was, I got through it. But I don't know, man, this this is a lot for me to take on to just what kind of casket would you get? No, that's the whole point of this, Like, I don't I'm not thinking about this. Do you want to be? You want to be? But yeah, you want the tire package on the casket, But would you do that? Would you go

around picking out your future your future home? If anyone, If anyone's listening, and I listen, I don't have plans on dying, but I got a knock on wood? Yeah, I like a nice cherry wood, nice dark wood? Or do I do like a baseball batwood? You know, like a like a lighter wood, like a you know, but I would I think a darker wood. I don't like blackwood. Okay, although the metal thing keeps the worms out kind of like that? Has any of the slices been through this?

Oh a kiss casket. You're there with living people and you're picking out something for your future when you're not going to be living. But that I've had enough. I've had a hard time picking out caskets for people that are no longer here, right because you're like, because you're thinking, because there's I'll be honest with you, when you're picking out a casket for someone, that's because you didn't plan ahead on the casket right way. You're like, huh, what

would they buy? Well, I know they were brugal, so you know, yeah, so I'm not going to go with you. I had myself, and no one's going to see it after five minutes. That's true. And it's done. Once it's in the ground, its permanent, so right, once you take all the pictures and video. But the process of you know, going through this, these motions, not doing that, not doing that. I meet the car shopping, I'm not going a funeral shop,

right and and you know he was. He's right now, he's like perfectly fine, and he's walking around and he's doing his thing. He's like he's in his early sixties. But like I said, hopefully you don't have I said, hopefully you don't have to deal with this for like, you don't have to see this for like thirty years, you know, forty years, God willing but is he financing it or just payd cas No, just no, he's retired. He's good. But he did the whole thing. He's right

right writing checks for them. So, and what happens if this funeral home goes away before again? It goes into a fund where you're see. That was what it was explained to me, and that's what that's questions. I had to understand that it goes to a fund that basically when at the time comes and I get a phone call to like, oh hey, buddy, you're up at bad here. What are we doing? I get to choose either stay with this place or go somewhere else because it's in it.

It's in almost like escrow. What the escrow is for funeral Now, look, I'm not going to hit yeah, I'm knocking on wood. Do you have a backup? No, I'm no. I mean, like, if he lives to like one hundred and five, God forbid, something happens. I don't want to think about these things. This is really tough to talk about it right now, Jones, I'm stumbling my way through this conversation. Who would you pick Robin? You'd pick Robin right to be your executor of everything. Yeah, I guess.

Or no, someone has to be someone probably younger. No, it would have probably one of my nephews, next of kin. It can't be somebody that's on your timeline. Oh no, I guess it could. Well, it can be, but you know, you may have to redo the whole damn thing. So it may be null and void. So you're supposed to pick like a next null and voids your nephews. No, my nephews would be like like where Like I just I just asked you if your nephews were null and void.

It was a joke, hyo to Italian to Italian nephews noll and void and void. But yeah, yeah, anyway, I don't know had he hold me ahead of time that we would be doing all of that, I probably would have been like maybees all the time. And so did you go looking at locations like plots and stuff? No, so you don't know where he's being buried. No, No, that's all said and done. That's all taken care of for him. Now he's part of his family's thing. Yeah, okay,

oh all right, it's got chills? Are they multiplying? I listen, slice, So what do you think slices leave his talkbacks. How do you feel about that radio app behind the microphone button that moves around every time you update the app on? I think it's your phone. It's a red circle these days. Okay, all right, so yeah circle, let us know what you would you would have done? Is this a great move to save money? Or uh kind of creepy and weird? And would you do it for a friend or a

family member? I don't know. Oh, I don't all right. I got a sound clip from this weekend's football game and uh it just it. I posted the video on Twitter and right away Shady jew Mobster was like, oh my god, I heard that. I was like, podcast, so I have to play this because, uh it's Tony Romo and he's calling a play during the Bills Chiefs game. Although I guess it's technically the Chiefs Bills game, but it's involving the quarterback of the Bills. Hold on the second,

Josh Allen on, you see to pretend fake? And you to lie here again, what kind of plays you see to pretend fake? And it's a pretend pretend fake that's like a does that make it real? That's redundant, right, it's no because a fake is a fake is a play. So it's a pretend to fake. No, but he actually did a fake. You can't pretend fake. He faked it. Oh, so faked the play he went through with was a fake. No, he fake fake fake to hand off. He faked hand off,

the hand off and then ran the ball. But you can't have a pretend fake no, No, because how would you How would you do a pretend fake? Would you pretend to give him the ball, then not give him the ball, then give him the ball? Fake? Right? You can't. I can't pretend fake. Yeah. Yeah, so Tony Ramol, Sorry, we're done. Fake, We're done. Here is my big this will be the big finish for the for the podcast.

But I need your help. I don't think I'm wrong here. So, uh, my friend Eric and I went to lunch from the It's Eric Nagel Show. Check it out if you have a chance. And he says, oh, let's try someplace new like He's like, I saw this place on Instagram. We should go. I said, okay, great, Well, let me let me check out the menu. They serve meats, meat, sandwiches, and known for Yeah, I said, let me check out the menu online and I'll see if there's something you know that I like and then we'll go. So I

look and I go, okay, I want the two meat combo. Right, they have like strami and corn beef and turkey and something else a brisket, And I was like, you know what, I'm gonna get corn beefrom pistrami. Those are my two favorite of the hot meats. I'm gonna order a two meat combo. It's it's I know what the price is, sixteen ninety five. This way when I go, I don't have to like look at the menu. I'm ready to go. And by the way, if I was with you, I would have to get the three meat combo because I

like pastrami, corn beef, and brisket. All it is like does brisket is like like a third cousin. Like brisket's like like brown meat, and it's like it's beefy tasting. The brisket is corned beef, except it's prepared differently, right, it's different corned beef. It's corned. The brisket is put in the oven. Right. Anyway, I like all three, but my favorite combo with like corn and it's on the menu. It's called the two meat Combo and it says pick

two meats excellent, yep, okay. So we go and it's one of these places where you have to go up to the counter and order. So Eric says, I'll sit at the booth, you go up to the counter and order. All right. We've never been there before, and is it's a it's a working class kind of place, lunch pale, kind of crowd, right, and it's not that busy. So I go right up to the counter and there's a guy there behind the counter and he like the countertop is like you know, chin level, where like you can

make eye contact with the guy. And you could see the cutting board. Uh right, you know you could see it's all glass. You can see the cutting board that right he stands in front of and he doesn't speak English tremendously well. He said, uh, what do you want? And I said, uh, I'll have the two meat combo here. Come on, yeah, I said, h the two meat combo. Oh buy? So I said, yeah, the two two. I hold up my fingers too. I go two meat combo corn beef and pistrami. So he slices the pistrami, and

he puts that. He puts down two pieces of rye bread, and he starts slicing the pistrami and he gives me a little on a plate and I'm like, oh, little taste. That was so good, so good, scary, and and I said, you know, and corn beef, and he says, I'm both. So I'm like, yeah, of course I'm both has because he's you know, he's figures making me right, Okay. So I'm not really watching him, and I said, oh, I look to my left while he's making the sandwiches and and and is the people making the soup or at

least doing like the side orders? So I said, so I'm like, should I get massa ball soup or I get a candish or something? I said, you know what, give me matz of ball soup. So I'm talking to the other people behind the counter and I'm not really watching what he's doing. And uh, he says, uh, what do you want on it? Mustard? I said, no Russian dressing. So I he takes the Russian dressing and I see it.

I trust him, which is a little bizarre for some cornstra but each talking about a ruben comes with Russian dressing and samakrawt. You're going to tell a Jew how to eat corn beefstrangen, it's gotta be with mustard. But okay, it doesn't Russian dressing anyway, So I go and can you melt some Swiss on there? Okay? So whatever he's doing fair enough, I'm not paying not paying attention anyway. He didn't ask me if it was to stay it

a go. And I see he's like he's wrapping up stuff and he throws it in the bag and he hands me the bag. So I'm like, uh, fuck it, you know, because it's he wrapped the sandwiches in that that tinfoily like metallic metal, not aluminum foil, but that standard sandwich to go rap where one side is white and the other side is the foil metal to keep right, okay, classic right. And he throws it, puts in the bag and whatever. So I get the food and and and uh,

the soup comes up. I said, the soup's for here, I said, Uh, he goes, oh, it's sandwich to me here. I said, Now, don't worry about it. Don't wry about it, because I'm right, I don't want to. I don't want to get into it. Just it's fine. So I take the bowl of soup in the plate and the bag, and I'm looking for someplace to pay. And I look to my right and it's like at the end of the counter. Connected to the end of the counter is like a half dome column and it's plexiglass where it

looks like somebody might stand behind it. But there's no slot like to hand money. I don't see stickers like we accept credit cards. I don't say anything, so I'm like, God, I'm gonna go sit down and I'll let Eric figure it out when he goes up to order. So I sit down and go Eric, Look, I don't know where to pay, so just when you go up there, when you pay, let me know and I'll go pay. So I sit down and I'm watching people and they're all ordering food at the counter at the at the countertop,

getting the food and going to sit down. Sure I don't see anybody paying, and there's nobody there besides the guys in the cooks that don't speak English making the food. So I'm like, I don't figure it out. So I eat my soup. It's pretty good, not too much, No dill, which was good. And I reach into the bag and I feel, I feel there's two things wrapped and they're heavy. So I take one out and I'm like, oh, he must have wrapped each half separately because they're so fucking big.

He puts so much meat on it. So I open it up and it's it's a whole sandwich. So I go, it's weird. Oh boy. So I reach in the reach in the bag and I see there's another sandwich made. He made me two sandwiches. But what did you pay for? I haven't paid found anything. You're not listening. Oh pay? So Eric comes back and I said, Eric, did you pay? No? I don't know way to pay. There's no place to play.

This is not a big restaurant. You walk in. There's like three booths on the left, a couple of tables on the right, and a counter in the back, like a Chinese takeout place. Not very big. Oh okay, I'm trying to picture it. Okay, all right. So we're eating, I'm like, holy shit, I got another huge ass sandwich here. First of all, I didn't order it. Second of all, I'm not paying another seventeen dollars plus tax for something I didn't order and I can't give it back. It's

got Russian dressing on it. They can't take it back. So I'm like, well, I'll figure it out. I don't. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Figure it out. So then I hear somebody say what do you pay here, as the guy the next table goes, I don't know. So nobody knew like how to pay. So some woman is coming by. There's no place to throw a garbage out.

They don't have a garbage box, so she's sweeping the floor and she's picking up garbage off a couple of tables as people get up, and the guy says, excuse me, where do you pay? And by the way, there's a refrigerator where you walk over, get a can of soda, potato, salad, whatever you want. It's all there in this big refrigerator that suits you perfectly. You're very used to just opening

up refrigerators and shut up, shut up. I grabbed free soda, okay, one time, stop it, okay, So I say he She goes, oh, I'll take the money. So I'm like, all right, well, I guess she's the one you pay. So she goes behind this call this little semi circle, and he goes, what did you have? And I hear him say I had this, this, and this, and she goes, okay, she takes his word for it, so then she goes back to sweeping. And then the other guy says, do people just walk out here all the time and don't pay?

I don't think so she says, never seen it, And I'm thinking to myself, well, that's the whole point. You wouldn't have seen it, Like Eric and I could have gotten up and left. We didn't even see it yet. System at a place, and I would never leave. I've been to places like that where there's not even a sign that says, because it's understood, you're gonna order, you're gonna sit down, you're gonna eat, you can enjoy your meal, and then you settle up. Afterwards, you just stand up

and you go over. That's what any decent human being would do. Yes, well, here comes the problem because you're indecent. No I'm not. I'm very decent, very honest and moral. When when something's right, it's right, and what's wrong it's wrong. So I go up, I say, excuse me, I need to pay for my food.

I ordered one. So she wrings here for one, and I sell about the can of soda and I paid twenty four dollars whatever it was right, And I go back and I sit down, and eric's what happened? I go. I. I told her what I ordered, Just what did you order? I ordered a two meat to meat combo. But when I said it to her, she also thought I meant two sandwiches, because she also didn't speak one hundred percent of mean while you're about to walk out with the

sandwich you didn't pay for. Well, there's my question. If I tell her, now, hold on, if I tell I got a second sandwich, either, she's gonna ask me to pay for it, which I didn't order. She's gonna take it back. Hold on, She's gonna take it back and throw it away, which is which is a damn shame, or the cook's gonna get in trouble for giving me an extra sandwich. This is the only way everybody ends up happy. There's no way was she getting money from me. So the only way we knew what to believe me,

we all assumed that that was definitely not. That's forego this podcast. Hold on show. I am a very honest person. I didn't realize I had a second sandwich. I already started eating first one, and I can't give the second one back. And by the way, just to clarify here, when I think two meat combo, I think the pastrami and the cornby. He didn't mistakenly do a sandwich of all pastrami and a sandwich of all cornby, right, No,

he put half cornby fa pastrami on bolt. So I'm wondering where the translation of the two two meat combo I've gotten lost, especially since they did, I mean have a limited and they deal with the same items every day. All I could think of, remember that phone tap I did on that on that on that guy the twenty two pound twenty He wanted a twenty two pound turkey, and I called him and said, yeah, you're twenty two pounds turk. Okay. I I think now in retrospect, he

may have thought, I said I want two meat combos. Ah, but on the menu it's actually called a two meat combo. It's if you're reading it en off the menu and you wanted two of them, I would have to say that you would have ordered to two meat common combo. Yeah, two two meat combos, right. But when I said it to her and him, they both took it as two meat combos. Oh shit, But it's on I checked the menu, ma'am. That happens every day at that place. I could already

tell that happens every day. Well that don't call it a too meat combo, or ask me how many sandwiches I want, or just call it. Just call it the pastrami co you know, pastrami, corn beef comba. Call it that, right, call it right. But again, I went on the website the night before to check it, and it's called so

slices number one. Would you have given the sandwich back the minute you realized there was two or would you have just paid for the second one, because he got the second one even though you didn't order it, and I'm not going to eat it for a couple of days now. I already had the one, you know, it was so big, scared, I had half of it and half of the first one. I ate to half of the second one today and the second one. I mean, I eat for two or three days. It's so friggin big,

and it's very good. I think all right. Personally, I think you should have told her at the time of the ringing up of the bill. I didn't want to get him in trouble and I didn't want to pay. That's for you to decide, just to clear your conscience. I would say, my conscience is fine, Oh of course it is. But my conscience would have been, like, I can't lie to this woman because I am in possession of two sandwiches, one of the other one. Nope, she said,

what did you order? I ordered ah to meat combo. Right, well, I would have say what did you have it? I would have I would have said, look, I ordered a to one to meat combo, but they handed me two sandwiches. Uh. And I would show her the second sandwich and and and say I'm not going to pay for this other sandwich, what would you like me to do with it? And then ask her what you would like her to do

with it, and then leave it in her hands. What she because then at leaves were open to saying you know what, take it, and the alternative is you know what, I'll take it. So you didn't want to lose that free sandwich. No, No, that's what is. I didn't want to get charged for it. And I thought if I said I got two sandwiches, she'll go we'll have to charge you for it. I didn't want to get into

an argument someone that doesn't speak fluent English. So then then then you would have given it back and said no, I didn't order this, so here take it. You're not charging me, and I would have walked out without the second sandwich. All right, that's an option, but you are You're like, no, well, I got to answ with you. The first one was so good, so good, I'll go back. I'll be a customer again, for sure. But I wasn't trying to take advantage. As much as I know you

fell into it. It'll it just happened. It happened, and I fall into these things. Speaking of court, and before we get out of here, a couple of things, some housekeeping. First of all, I the Super Bowl is going to feature a reunion between Billy Crystal and who was when Harry met Sally. When Harry met Sally was was Meg Ryan? Meg Ryan? Right? So it's going to have them at CATS's Deli. Because I saw the behind the scenes, the shooting of the video of the of the commercial.

It's a it's an old woman. Double negative, it's an old woman. I'm just trying to say, it's Rob Ryiner's mother, Rob Reiner's mother. In this case, it's Sydney Sweeney, right, she delivers the line. But here's the thing. He's eating a pastrami on rye. But you know what the product is that they're advertising. And what is clearly in the scent in the in the center of the table the whole reason for the commercial and who paid the bill for it? No, Helman's mayonnaise. Yeah, you don't put mayonnaise

on anything, That's what I'm saying. So people are gonna the world is gonna see this commercial. Oh it's vomit. And two am sitting across from each other, you know, and he's he's literally eating a pastrami. I could see the pastrami on rye or cornby fun rye. I think it was pastrami mayonnaise. And and they're like, and then do the whole bit. Oh, we're back here at this place, and I'll have what she's having, I mean, and the

Helman's mayonnaise. And by the first of all, kats Is does not from what I remember, put mayonnaise on the table, but on this specific table at Kats's Deli, there's a bottle of mayonnaise. There's no mustard or or catch are they implying a billy crystal? A Jewish man went to Kats's Delight, ordered a pistrami on rye and put mayonnaise on it. Okay, to be continued because they did show

They didn't show the whole commercial in full. They showed outtakes and some scenes and I couldn't see what was on the sand At one point, the top of the sandwich came off and there was nothing. I didn't see anything on the sandwich. It was it was just a pstrong like like the top half of the bread. The rye for the top half fell off as he's talking and and there was nothing on there. So I can't accuse him of putting mayo on there. But talk about

like wrong place, wrong time, or wrong product. There's will talk about this after the Super Bowl slices and why you start thinking about this? Okay? For me, mayonnaise on a pistrami sandwich is like, oh my god, how could you do that? Right? What is it that you eat? In your part of the country, your culture. Like if you're from the South and someone put ketchup on ribs, you'd vomit, right, Yeah, Like you can't put ketchup on barbecue ribs. Well, you live in Texas. There must be

some like you. You can't put a garlic a holi on corn bread, Like there must be something where you go, oh no, you can't do that. Heleland Helman's spent a lot of money to be part of the Super Bowl and get these two actors back and Sydney Sweeney and to go to the original Catches Deli where it was filmed and do those lines and literally just just kind

of wax nostalgic. But but I feel like their product is misplaced because you would not see I just don't think you see mayonnaise on a table in Kats's deli. You just don't. It's I mean, it's mustard and ketchup. You know. Maybe, you know, maybe if Heines wanted to do a bit, then maybe you gotta you know, or Gouldin's then now you got it. Now you got something there. Now, in all fairness, I did not see what Meg Ryan was eating. There was a sandwich there it didn't look

like PASTRAMI say, she could be eating the mayo. Maybe that mayo. See here's the thing scary. If the mayo gave her the orgasm, which is why she's so good bullying the food. So a right, Maybe she put the mayo on a chicken salad sand sandwich. It was maybe it was turkey, I don't know, something with lettuce, but anyway, maybe it was something that what mayo is is permissible. That makes more sense now because she's the one having the orgasm. In Sydney Sweeney, we'd go, I'll have what

she's having. Yeah, okay, now I feel better, But slices still tell us what you can't put that on that. Then if that's the case, then they were very smart to not make her eat corn beef because they're like America would be like were you kidding me? Well, not all parts of America. Some people put mayonnaise on everything. I want to hear about it. If you put mayonnaise on corn beef for prestrom listen, I noticed people who put corn beef on mayonnaise on roast beef sandwiches and

ham sandwiches. Well to be continued, because I didn't see the Who commercial. I just saw the outtakes of it. And finally, and finally, we need a favor. If you've listened this far into the podcast, that you got all the way to the end, that means you are a true fan. You are a slice for life, and we appreciate you, okay so much so that we need our slice army to go to the iHeartRadio app and drop a review for your Brooklyn boys because we're at a

four point six. On the Apple podcast we're four point eight, but our hometown homegrown app iHeartRadio, we are at a four point six. Now, I didn't go into depth. I didn't see any of the reviews. I'm asking you kindly. Brody's asking you if you could kindly drop a five, drop five stars for us, like you just had the uber ride of your life. Please. I don't think that's too much to ask for. The Yeah, I mean we gave, we gave, we gave Funeral Advice today free four point six?

How the mighty have fallen on our hometown native app. Come on, and it's over five hundred reviews too that are on there, so you know you know what it is. We must get exposure from people that aren't Brooklyn Boys listeners and some of them don't get it. Yeah, I saved it till the end because I know the true warriors will go to battle for us, and we appreciate you for that. If you could maybe up until you set your Harry met Sally story by the way, you see the way they do the Harry met Sally where

they're like, oh, they're so old now they're in their seventies. Yeah, we need hot young Sydney Sweeney to lean over. So like in the movie they had an old lady saying it, now they have a younger girl saying right, because it was right exactly. Yeah, the hot girl with the big boobs. Once Mayonnaise, that's that ship, seld.