#322: Doin' Da Dump & Dash

Start Up, dot Up, Start Up, Brooklyn Boys, Boy Start Up, Brooklyn Boys Start Up, daddap They Making Noise, Data start Up Dodda.

Da DA dot Up, Episode three, twenty one, The Brooklyn Boys Podcast.

How's it going? Everybody Scary Jones, David Brody the other? Yeah?

Can we call ourselves vets at this time? And I'm not talking about the veterinarians, talking.

About veterans like military veterans.

No, not those veterans either, veterans of the Podcasting Association of America.

Oh geez, I mean, at what point do we become like veterans? Like we've been doing this a minute.

I started Walkers and Talkers in twenty sixteen maybe, and then you were doing off air show in twenty sixteen.

Yeah. I think you were doing this since twenty seventeen. I started, I mean eight year nine when we be nine years before you know it? Yeah, I think ten years you can call yourself a veteran in any profession. I don't know. I think nine years you're a veteran. I do. Yeah, Yeah, Well, I don't know.

Time is shows you how how much more substantial being in the military is, because if you go in for like three months, you're a veteran because it's like hard work.

It's hard. I wouldn't. I could not not that kind of veteran. I'm thinking of a veteran. But that's they deserve the title. We're just podcasters, but to be seasoned, to be experienced.

I don't think we're ready for the podcast Hall of Fame yet, but no, I mean we're podcasters.

We're podcast tours if you want to get fancy podcast hall of shame, ready for that?

No, I mean, listen, let's not forget that. In twenty nineteen, we were nominated for an iHeartRadio Podcast Award in the Comedy department.

Yeah, Apple category. Apple keeps reminding me, you know. And we came in second to Joe Rogan. That's not bad. It's not bad.

And we were leading, I'm until like twelve hours left in the in the awards, we were right there.

Right, So yeah, we have never been nominated since.

I wonder if Joe Rogan makes like twenty million a year plus endorsements, he's making like probably thirty, we should at least be getting ten.

By nomination status.

You would think you would think that, but it's all disproportionate, so speaking, of iHeart Radio.

I have to tell you all. I mean, I mean some of you have to, like financially, you have to.

I gotta let you. No, I don't really have to, see I'm saying I have to meaning I've been fixing to tell y'all fix it. I've been fini you're gonna tell tell y'all.

I mean some people know already, But the iHeartRadio app has been redesigned.

It's brand new, and a lot of you, for whatever reason.

Are phobic of getting the latest version of whatever app it is on your phone. Uh, word to the wise, no matter what the app is, go for the latest version.

Always down. I'll tell you why.

Don't always update your apps? Sometimes they fuck up the whole the thing. And yet that's why what you do is one date they put on an update. I know, I'm Android. I turn off my order updates on the important apps, and then you wait to see the reviews and people are like, oh, it fucked up my phone that you don't.

They fixed it? Iheart's you fall behind in technology and features.

They're always improving every app, every app, They're always they're always making better.

Hold on no, no.

Fix on apps, fuck up iHeart didn't. But sometimes bug fixes, dog fixes.

And security security breaches.

You want to make sure that you always have the highest encryption and everything. But in the case of iHeart Radio, please take my word on this one.

If you haven't updated your iHeart Radio app, please update it after you listen to this podcast, because it's it's got a whole new look and you now can set pre presets. Cool. I gave you that, So make Brooklyn Boys, you're one of your presets.

Please your first preset. When I first presets, well, they're all up in front of you. You got one, you know, and they were all little pictures you can.

Got left to right. Put us the first slot, all right, Put us in slot number one. There you go. Slot us in there. Yeah, put us in there. Make Brooklyn Boys, please do that for us.

You're one of the people that listens to Joe Rogan, second most popular tar podcast. Put him in the number two slot. We need to beat him in something. He beat us in the Comedy Award and we were there. We flew out to la He didn't make it to the war.

He's really really good at what he does. He's very compelling, and I gotta say he makes some great mushrooms.

So yeah, I'm not here to promote his podcast.

I'm just saying, put us first, put him second. We don't mind be next to him. Definitely.

If you listen to the iHeart Radio app, and if you don't listen to the ihet Radio app, start listening to the iHeart Radio app well, and just put.

Us in the first slot and then do what you want. He'll be nice, be nice, do something for you, hook your boys up.

So yeah, so bro, yeah, okay, iPhone served me those memories of the weekend. We went out to La to the Forum where we got treated like royalty for the week oh January.

Yeah, of the forum. Where was it? Wherever it was?

It was the iHeart Theater or something. Oh, yes, now they've moved into the Forum. We went to the Forum for the Alt concert. That's right, the what is it, the iHeart Alt Alter ego.

So anyway, yeah, anyway, yeah, so we we went out to the iHeart Radio Theater. But they didn't treat as well. We sat very well. They gave us if we were winning, Yeah, they gave us fancy dinner. It was beautiful.

We walked the red carpet.

We were sitting at the table with Conan's people. Of course Conan didn't show, but no.

And we well we got to meet what's her face from Modern Family now?

The oldest daughter?

That one? Yeah, memorable. Yeah, you know, I just joined a blank on her name. But I was one of my favorite sitcoms of all time.

Right, So are you are you? Are you going to be a soup sucker? A soup sucker? Yeah? I started to add on TV like a wheel watcher. I don't know.

I don't know if you I don't know if you know about this. There Progress Progresso now makes soup suckers. You soup you could suck the soup you could suck on. No, it's it's a hard candy and it's soup flavored. Oh would you eat that? I'd suck on some clam chowder, hard hard candy. I don't even know if there's sugar in it. I don't think there is, but it's it's probably salt.

No, yeah, probably do like I would. I would suck on a corn chowder or something. Or it seems a little weird to me. They literally are are candy, A little little soup suckers.

Yeah, that's the soup you could suck on. I think it's kind of it's not it's a novel idea. But I just saw an ad go buy on TV.

I'm like, huh. I'm like, what will they think of next chicken noodle?

I mean, you know, I don't know if I go like out of my way, but I think they'll make a lot of money. The first three months of people saying I had tried it once try, it's a once try thing. Yeah, it's a once try and then you know what if you try, like the average person may try like two flavors. So if a million people try two flavors, that's two million in sales.

That's something. It's probably for a limited time only. Anyway, they're not gonna be here.

Did you do like Italian wedding? Do you put an Italian wedding in your mouth? Absolutely?

Absolutely? But I could see I'm just trying it. When it tastes like salt, is it filled with sodium? I don't know. I feel like I need.

To try them just to say I did. I'm gonna sample them. Soup suck Google it not a not a sponsor, Okay, that was my question.

Not a sponsor, but listen, soup suck is If you'd like to support us and sponsor this podcast, bring it on.

I just started bringing up because it's very unique, like it's always something sweet that you're sucking on, right.

Well, except when you get your Zeman facials. That's something different.

That's most suit. I don't know whatever. Anyway, I just it's it's a weird vibe. But I'm just saying, like it's like, is it giving soup, giving soup? It's giving soup.

The word vibe, dammit a soup vibes anyway, Oh my god, So I was speaking of that language, that lingo. We mentioned it on the on the on Slice time a few days ago, Yes, we did. We are a couple of days away from from TikTok possibly being banned, even if it's temporary. Even in fact, there's there's lots of false rumors going around about who may buy it. By the time you hear this, it may already be gone or it may be back.

It makes still be here. But you know, it's really going to affect millions of businesses around the country.

Yeah, a lot. It's people people who have independent businesses.

Yeah, yeah, the businesses that advertise I mean, yeah, listen, one hundred and seventy million people have the app on their on their phones and I you can google why they're doing it. I don't want to get into a debate about whether it's right or wrong. I'm saying as a user, I will be disappointed right it goes away.

But I'm just gonna dive over to reels and anyone who's trying to go to these other Chinese companies. This is going to be a blanket for all all the Chinese companies. They're all going to.

Like Lemonade and all. The Red Red.

Book is owned by by Dance. It's the same company, right, So now other one, what's the one red door, red dope, red see the Red Book or Red red Book? So yeah, so Red Note, red Book, whatever it is, it's owned by a Chinese company.

But here's the thing.

You know, how you sign those agreements like iTunes, you have to click on the thing. Yeah, you have to agree to follow the Communist Party and the ideals of the Chinese government as part of your agreement. No, I'm serious, it's a It's and last night I don't I don't remember what show it was.

It may have been The Daily Show. So what's today's date. Today's this the sixteenth as we record this. Yeah.

So on the fifteenth on the Daily Show, they showed a montage of people on that red book red door appeah Americans saying, I got to tell you, I've seen a lot of videos about how wonderful the culture is in China, much better than here in America. And it hasn't only one Wow, did you see this car? They sell us car in China. They won't sell it here.

Yep, there you go. Oh the lemonade.

Lemonade is owned by TikTok, so when you log in, it sucks up all your followers, so you and all the people you're following, so how's your account over the problem is it's owned by Bike Dancing.

If they get rid of one, they can get rid of the other. Oh wow, this is just in from Associated Press. As we speak about this.

The AP yeah that what he got.

Biden will not enforce TikTok ban, officials say, leaving fate of app to Trump. The officials said the outgoing administration was leaving the implementation of the law and the potential enforcement of the band to Trump.

So he's like he pretty much just like, I'm out of it. Let the next administration deal with this.

Trump spoke a couple of days ago and said, I love TikTok and it helped me win the youth vote. He loves it, he likes TikTok, he loves the videos, he loves it. He's his dances on TikTok right and it went viral. So I think he's going to be all for He was against it when a year ago, but I think now he's going to be okay with it.

Okay. I think he understands all the job creation going on.

Well, So based on this, it looks like TikTok is will probably survive.

So it's so much a do about nothing. Here's what I would say. I think President elect Trump will be inaugurated on Monday, and I think he will use it because you know, he loves he loves the media headlines and he's great at it. I think he's going to use the day of the twentieth while all the cameras are on him post inauguration, to make an announcement about TikTok. I think I think there's a good chance it'll be okay. I hope it'll be okay. I think it's a great app. I think we would be listen.

I know a lot of people could give a fuck, and like, I don't use TikTok. Who cares.

One hundred and seventy million out of three hundred and thirty Americans have it, So.

That is correct.

A lot of people, a lot of people care about it and some and some people's live entire livelihoods. I would like to see it stay personally, so hopefully, yeah, I mean, am I active on it as I could be?

No, I'm much more active on Instagram. So in fact, that's where I thrive. You know, oh you thrive there. Well, I got a lot.

I get a lot of content for this podcast on TikTok. Yeah, and I was watching TikTok last night. I'm doing the you know, the scrolling and I'm thinking to myself, well, this this isn't replicable, replicatable, This isn't replicatable.

This functionality is not replicatable.

I mean, reels is like the best thing about reels is when they when people post TikTok videos on reels, Right, You're like, oh, I missed it on TikTok, so so, and then the chances are I would I missed it on TikTok as well, and I'm seeing it on reel so whatever. So yeah, so, which I think we should start doing if TikTok is saved. Here's what I'm going

Of us before.

How about that. You're going to do that, Brodie, I'm going to do that, all right. I'm gonna hold your feet to the fire on this one.

We'll see. Well, it doesn't take long. I can added that. That's not a problem. Okay, we're scary and Rode, it's not.

It's not that big a deal. What I was talking about before the break, get it up on TikTok. All right, listen, we have one video in the Brookly Boys account. One one video. I don't even know what video it is.

It's the video when he interviewed that guy from that movie, Oh, that one, the guy from the movie Perfect.

He was in that movie where he get people up. I was sometimes go ahead, scary, no.

No, no, no no.

I was gonna talk about SNL for a second. Oh, the big fiftieth fiftieth anniversary. Yep, And they're doing a four is it tonight? No, tomorrow night, there's a four part of SNLS. I guess by the time you hear this, it's gonna be too late. Well either way, but I mean it'll be available. I was going to ask you, in think of fifty seasons worth, what was the greatest era of SNL. And I actually thought long and hard about it, and I'm gonna go with nineteen eighty six

I mean, I think they're pretty good right now.

I guess eighty five to eighty six was the worst season of all time, right But right after that, Khuzach and Robert Downey Junior and Anthony Michael Hall. Yeah, but eighty four was good. So eighty six was Dana Carvey, nor Don phil Harmon, Jan Hooks. That's why I sity six and as John Lovett, that's eighty six. John Lovett's Dennis Miller. That's your eighty six.

But you can't. I don't think you get then.

You got later on, you got that in that in that era, you got Chris Rock later on, Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, all those people came along. It's it's definitely that whole They had a whole run, all the late eighties into the early nineties.

They had those hilarious sketches. I'm just saying, that's my that's when I feel like they were the best. But I wanted your right Europe. I think that's good. I think that's good. I'm gonna go, boy, that's tough.

Looking like nineteen ninety two, for instance, they still had a great cast.

But oh ninety will Will Will Ferrell came in. Will Ferrell was in there in the night. Early nineties.

Yeah, but you know, Chris Farley in the late nineties, or David Spade, Adam Sandler, Jimmy Fallon. All right, here's what I'm gonna say. And you know me, I'm old school and I'm classic, and you know I'm a comedy writer.

I tend to lean.

I'm gonna say that seventy five to seventy nine is the greatest cast, and then everybody else's second. That's why I brought this up, because I knew you you're talking about the people that broke the ground, who started the show.

Jim Belushi.

There's no Chris Fawley without John about John Belushi, there's no Chris fall Kilda Radna, and Dan Acker. These are people that want on to make some of the biggest movies. Joy Chase did one year and he became a legend. Now he's a Putts, but I mean, you know he used it as a springboard. The writing staff seventy five to seventy nine, the original not ready for primetime players.

You can't compare.

You can't see the reason why I said they take them out of the equation. I'm a big fan of the nineteen eighty to eighty three cast, which people think sucked.

Ede right, Joe Pisco, Eddie Murphy. I might can name the rest of the cast. Those are the dark years. Those are the years that they didn't really do much except for You're what. Godfried was part of that cast at one point.

I know, but literally Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopal carried the show during those years. Well, here's why I think, see people get just because they came first the people in the seventies doesn't mean they were the best because I have to.

Tell you, sorry, John Listen doing it. I get it. They were trailblazers and they deserve credit for that. They're the ogs.

The problem is when you watch those sketches, it's like they were fuck.

They were on freaking drugs. Didn't make any sense. They were not funny, wrong drug. Give it the sketches. The writing on the cone heads, give me, give me this, give me this, Missus Lubner. The writing. The writing was better.

The writing was better in the period I mentioned, the nineteen eighty six to the nineties, early nineties.

And they had a problem. The writing was wrong in the seventies.

They might Looking at the cast from ninety nine to two thousand, Foull, Jimmy Fallon, Will Farrell and a guest star Daryl Hammon, Chris Cattan. I didn't never like Chris Cattan, Tim Meadows, Tracy Morgan, Chris Parnell, one of my all time favorites. He got fired and rehired Sherry o' terry, Colin Quinn, my Boy, Horatio Sans Molly Shannon. Now that's a great cast. Great featured members in that cast. Who were the featured part timers, Rachel Dratchmaya, Rudolph Right, you

Oh you're gonna and Seth Meyers. You're gonna say yes, of.

Course, whenever you're at a certain age, that's your favorite SNL cast. How many people look at today's cast they go, oh, it's not funny anymore.

It hasn't been funny since blank year.

Every generation we've talked about this, finds their spot when they were a certain age, when they found their favorite music, that's their favorite.

Well, we talked about that on this podcast. In fact, we've don't we agree that. See at least for me, I think, you know, the nineties, the nineties and early two thousands, for me, the nineties were the golden years. I feel like if you create you, if you talk about ninety nineteen ninety six was an amazing year in music.

Look at what came Look at the albums that came out that year.

Not compared to nineteen ninety ninety ninety one, when when Nirvana and Pearl Jam released albums.

Eighty seven was a huge out year albums.

So you're trying to say that we just remember it, we're biased because we remember we were in our prime at that or we were like consuming a lot of media at that point in like high school years.

Slices listen. It's rare that that. It's different than what I'm about to say. But seventeen to twenty two roughly is when you pick your lifetime favorite music. Yeah, favorite movie, favorite comedy, favorite style of clothing, favorite way that women

I get it. You you grew up on Nicki Minaje. Exactly how did you? I was going to say that, Well, it's look, I love SNL.

This is just a couple of seas And for me, the eighty five eighty six season was tracked.

There's no way you could tell me someone who's from seventeen to twenty two in these last five years, are gonna tell me that that castle, that their cast, that cast is good, is better than those dead nineties cast of the people that we mentioned.

Of course they are because to them those are old people. That humor wasn't funny. They were making fun of uh, you know, George Bush back then or Clinton.

So that's why you love the seventy five to seventy nine crew, because that's your age group.

No, dude, I was a kid. I was a I watched it on reruns. I mean I used to stay up late when I was a little kid watching SNL. But that wasn't my that wasn't my uh my time, not even close.

Yeah, So anyway, all right, I know it up.

Also thousands with Tina Fey, I mean it's superstars, but people will watching now who like it now would say that Michael Chang, Colin Joe, Colin Jos the greatest Weekend Update hosts of all time did the longest running would I say, to the best? I don't know about that, right, but I love them. I look forward to every episode. That's why I watched the show this Weekend Updates.

I bring it.

I bring it up because SNL is celebrating its fiftieth uh this year, and a lot of celebrity is going to be at the one that show, that live primetime special in February three hours, six seventh, February sixteenth, from eight o'clock.

I believe it's gonna be three hours.

It's gonna be your end. When did your ear end? You said what ninety five or something? I said ninety four? I said ninety five, ninety four.

I did an end, dude, I say ninety three, ninety three, eighty six to ninety three is what I'm going to say.

I think I said ninety six, eighty six to ninety three.

Yeah, all right, Because I'm looking at the cast from two thousand and six, Fred Ormison, Bill Hayter, Will Forte Darryl Hammond, Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler, Maya, Rudolf, Andy Samberg, Jason Sadakis, Keenan Thompson, and Kristen Wigg.

That's that's an all star cast. It is. There's not a week spot in there.

Every one of them has gone on to successful TV shows and movies. Fred Ormisen did a Portland Pale Portlandia Bill Hater Barry will.

Forte that was the Last Man on Earth or something. Why are you trying to have to Why do you have to prove me? I'm not proving you wrong.

All I'm saying is SNL is except if there's fifty seasons, I would say forty eight of them have been pretty damn good, right, Okay, eighty five it is just a brutal season.

Yeah.

Tim of Downey Junior as a kid was on that show. Terrible, Joe Kuzak, terrible, Randy Quaid.

I really hope the slices into SNL because we're just banking on that right now that we're.

We're arguing, so people like you, we're.

Talking about something that may or may not listen. We might have gotten the skip thirty skip skip skipski skip skip skip skip skip skip all right, No.

Don't do that. Slices if you skip them through the segment, let us know on the talk back. No, don't let us know. Oh we always have positive feedback only No, we certainly do not have. I'll count tell you what slices, tell us, tell us what you think about SNL and what the best season was.

All right, and then we can tell you how hold you all, because that's how it works usually.

All right, we'll be right back, all right, the Brooklyn Boys Podcast. We will be right back.

You know the song by John Cougar Mellencamp, who was John Cougar then became John Cougar Mellencamp, then he became John Mellencamp.

Yeah, I was born in a small town. And yeah, I thought the Londa law one, Oh that one. Yeah, Oh that was the Bobby Fuller four that did that song. Yeah, but did he do it? He might have covered it. I don't know.

I don't know his version. When I think John Cougar Mellencamp, I think of R O c K in the USA, the Crickets R O c K in the USA. That's Holly did it?

I thought, Uh, John Cougar Mellencamp did it. He might have. But what I and I think of John Cougar, I think of LIU did about Jack Dan Bird? Oh? Sorry? Who you write your own version? A little ditty about jerking the bird? No, of a jerk and the bird. Yeah, the masturbation song I did a parody of many many years ago. You know what, It's perfect because it mentions Diddy, so it's reletive. Hey, now, a little A little ditty thought I thought. I thought he's saying that song as well.

Anyway, let me tell you a couple of times people tried to get me and I got him. Okay, what happened when when we sold our house, we had to put some stuff in storage because it didn't all fit in the townhouse.

So I got a deal.

It's not a very big storage unit's like ten by twelve something like that, seventy nine dollars. It was a online special if you booked it online through the app. Seventy nine dollars. I'm like, all right, well that's reasonable, and then you know, I'll sell stuff on Facebook will make room. But initially when we moved, when we sold the house, I couldn't fit it all in the townhouse, a lot of my stuff.

We're going to tell you seventy nine dollars.

So after two months, four months, four months, I get an email that says, just want to let you know your promotional price is no longer a valid check your contract. We reserve the right to raise the price at any time without notice. You're now going to be paying one hundred and fifty eight dollars. What one hundred and fifty eight I'm paying seventy nine. That's double, that's exactly double. I have a screenshot of when I signed up. It didn't say temporary price. It didn't say we're going to

Yeah, but the paperwork does. We alerted you. No, no, I'm not paying the one fifty eight. Nothing I can do the thing.

I said, I'm going to get all my stuff out of there, yeah, or you're going to honor it because the place up the block is eighty six dollars. It's seven dollars more, but I'll go pay it. He says, nothing I can do. I said, who's your boss? So I said, have your boss called me? It's all right because I so. Then I called back and I found out that the place is thirty five percent occupy empty. So I spoke to the boss. I said, dude, you

Empty's what do you mean?

I said, You're not gonna honor my my seventy nine dollars. That's bullshit. You need to double my rate. Well, had you paid I go? Did you tell me at any point that if I paid for the year at all, did you mention it? Now you're gonna double it after four months? The fuck addy?

I'm oh, I'm out. He says.

I can't honor the eighty six because I said, I go, I can go, get eighty six up the block. I can't hoo the eighty six. I go, what's the best you can do for me? He said I could do one thirty. I said one thirty. How's that doing me a favor? I'm paying seventy nine dollars. I can go for eighty six. My god, I'll rent a van for fifty bucks and drive this shit over there. He goes, ah, let me let me call you back. Let me call you back. It calls me back. He says, I can

Yeah, but how do you get so close to the that price? How do you? I mean, did you get it for seventy nine? No?

So finally I argue what I'm back and forth and I told me, you know whatever, And I said, I'm gonna social media and blast you how low? He goes I'll tell you what. Now, you threatened him, he says, yeah, he says, I'll tell you what. I'll save you from having a movie stuff. The best I can do is ninety. But that's my bottom. I can't go lower in ninety. So for ten dos saw, I was like, see, you want me to pay eleven dollars a month. So I

So I basically have like eight months to get out of there. So I got But the point is, like, I'm done in ninety he started at one fifty eight. Scary. Yeah, all right, Well, listen, they're making up prices. They're making up prices.

You know.

I gotta say, a lot of businesses do that.

You haven't, I mean especially you got to you gotta think about I mean just I mean very simple as as hanging out of New York City in the middle and getting a hot dog right and eat the dirty water. Do dollars well, it depends on depends on the time of the year and who's walking by and who's buying it. They never those places, those little hot dog stands the little with the blue and yellow sibretta umbrella. They don't have menus, menu boards posted, there's no prices.

There's no prices. So if you go up there and how much.

For with an accent, like you know, they're like, oh, yeah, that's fifteen dollars American.

They absolutely will if they see you walking by and you're a tourist, yeah, they're gonna they're gonna.

Have y'all knowing how much is your hot dog over that, mister New York.

Oh, forget it, you're paying thirty right, exactly. That's my point. They just make stuff up out of the air. You know, it's not there's no science to that. There's no math to it. Whereas when you're you know you, let's say you want a restaurant, and you know a liquor costs you a certain amount of money, right, and so you know you want to do the math to see how much it's gonna take to get you an x amount of profit. So everything has measured costs.

So you and your prices are usually posted and you you are held right.

But not the copto car.

You know what, the hot dog cart's a great example of it's whatever it is at that moment. Hey, it's the end of the day and you and they got the pretzel guy is there and he wants to move the fucking rest of the pretzels and they're getting stale. All of a sudden, that pretzel is like a dollar fifty, right, because he.

Doesn't want to He doesn't want to end the day with any product he wants to get rid of.

I tell did I tell the story on this podcast about my mom and why I don't. Yeah, I don't go to the hot dog stands anymore.

Doesn't ring a bell?

Well, I mean I thought I did. I told him on somebody. I told her to somebody recently. I wanted a hot dog on the street walking in the city. My mom and I said, hey, mon, can I get a hot dog from the from the guy?

She said, David, I'm gonna ask you a question. When the hot.

Dog guy goes to the bathroom, when does he wash his hands? So I've never had a hot dog from the guy in the car? Yes, because I couldn't answer that question. I don't know, because it might mighty peede in the alleyway, right. I know he may go into Starbucks.

But oh, can we talk about Starbucks and he what we washed his hands in the dirty water.

Yeah, we can talk about Starbucks. They didn't feel about that. They're implemented law a rule. They they actually right, they went back to pre twenty eighteen law.

Right because it's they had a whole come to Jesus where they closed all of Starbucks for a day for like training, sensitivity training for their whole staff.

That in twenty eighteen, remember that there was a day we were talking about the same thing. I'm talking about bathrooms.

I'm talking about you can't loiter and you can't sit there and buy anything. Oh yeah, well no, well this is a new This just was a headline as to the bathroom law.

As of this week, you have to buy something if you want to use the bathroom.

And I was saying, you have to as of this week.

You and you have to buy something to sit down, use their internet or hang out at all or law or occupy a table. Yeah, no matter whereas in the past someone got an employee got in trouble for telling somebody to leave, and Starbucks sided with the non patron who was using their ship, just using their furniture for all.

That fall out the window. Now it's a new sheriff and the new generation.

So Facebook is in fact checking and and Starbucks has no tolerance.

Yeah, guess what I agree with this new law. Fuck them, you cannot.

I've always been against people who just come in and just make your set up shop and use free internet and hang out and make a coffee shop your office when I'm a paying compass customer and I want I don't think I want to sit someplace to eat my lemon pound cake for ten minutes.

And I don't think some part time employees should have to clean the bathroom because you But here's the thing. We've all been in that moment where you need a bathroom, right And in my mind, I've I've I've shopped at Starbucks. I've purchased at Starbucks. Let's say I don't know three hundred times in the past couple of years. Let's say one hundred times. Let's sae hundred times. Over the hundred times I've never used the bathroom. I feel like they owe me a bathroom rock, So I feel justified. But

First?

Of all, if you're in Manhattan or any big city, let me tell you the best thing to do.

I was about to say the same thing. Fancy hotels.

That's right, boom, you go into that because because there's so many people going in and out, they have like seven entrances to the lobby. You took, walk in, just walk like it's like you're a guest there you took and they have the nicest bathrooms the words.

Right out of my mouth.

Or any hotel, any hotel in Times Square, just fucking walks through.

No, some of them you have to take an elevator up the lobby either uptown.

Most of them.

Most of them have ground floor lobbies. As Brody was saying, with several entrances, just walk through.

It's a bit of the hotels, some of the hotels of Manhattan or like from the nineteen forties, and they're beautiful androoms are like it's luxurious.

I don't need luxury. If I got to go, it's like I just need a bathroom. But yeah, don't go into the places you're going to be seen, like like, don't go into a place like where there's like a Starbucks or McDonald's because there's probably a code to the bathroom or some kind of a key situation, because they locked those up.

At my dentist's office, they lock the bathrooms that are in the hallway, so they're like the bathrooms are forevery like. All the offices have communal bathrooms, like in the hallway. I mean there's doors, but everyone shares the bathroom in that on that floor. Yep, they've got to push code. You got to push a four digit code to get in the bathroom. There's a label with the number on the code. It tells you like nineteen sixty whatever it was,

All Indian food, Yes, all Indian food.

So I'm about two blocks away from Little India's scary.

I had something going on inside of me.

I thought something was like gonna burst out like in the movie Alien where the creature comes out of the guy's stomach.

It was bad India. No, No, it was bad. And I didn't know.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I knew, I knew what I was gonna do if I didn't do something, and it's gonna be do you're going to do something? Turn onto the street. Turn onto the street in Little India And at the end of the block. Now Little India is like three blocks long, and there's double park cars, people crossing in the street. It's it's a really hectic street where it's you don't even feel like you're in New Jersey.

It's just like mayhem of just.

People crossing, people crossing, people crossing. Everyone's on motorized bikes.

It's just mayhem. There's a white Castle at the end of the block. You know what I'm talking about.

So I said to myselfself, if you can just make it to white Castle, go inside, use the bathroom, and then get a couple of burgers while you're there, why not replenished the system. I get a third of the way into the block. There's double parking, there's people looking for parking. I can't move and I'm my leg is shaking. Scary, So somebody pulls out of a spot. I pull into the spot.

This is the worst feeling the world, the.

Worst feeling scary. I'm dying. I can't walk to White Castle. It's a block and a half away. I look across the street. There's now all the restaurants, all the all the stores are very narrow. It's like a door and a small window. They're all lined up. Store right ahead of me is the only what I'm gonna make. I go right across to the Indian restaurant.

I walk in. I see the bathroom is.

Like forty feet in the back. It's a long, narrow restaurant. And I see the bathroom, but it says on the door bathroom for customers only. Of course, So I go to the counter. Yep, when I first walk in, and I say, uh hi, uh no right, yeah, no, I s can I see a menu? And I said, how much for the chicken lollipops? How long will that take? Here's twenty minutes? I said, I you know what, let me just text my wife see what she wants, and I'm going to order the chicken lollipops and something else.

Let me see what she wants. Hold on, you know what.

In the meantime, while I'm waiting in front of text me back, I'm gonna use your bathroom. He goes, oh yeah, he goes, I said, can I take your menu with me in case she texts me back while I'm in the in the bathroom, he goes, yeah, take the menu with you.

Great. So I go, disgusting, you're gonna take a menu into the bathroom that.

It was a one sheet, laminated menu. It wasn't a fancy place. So I go in the bathroom with the.

Menu and menu into the bathroom. You. I go in there, I destroy the place. I destroy the place.

So I come back out and the guy says, you're ready to order. I said, let me just uh uh call my wife because she hasn't texted me back, and I'm not getting any reception in here.

I'll be right back and I right out. You're an asshole. You are an asshole, and that means chicken lollipops. I had to go Yeah, you ordered the dumplings instead. I took a dumpling. Exactly. You are real. You're a real If you felt so bad. Then why'd you run out without ordering anything? This is where you and I differ. Okay, slices, this is exactly hold on before me the ahead, Let me finish.

He said, it's twenty minutes. They make it fresh. I didn't have twenty minutes to wait. I had to get home, ordered something else.

They didn't. I said, what can you make me in five minutes? Nothing? Everything's fresh? I asked. There was nothing I could get quickly? Nothing? You you just you just lost their trust. I felt terrible. Next time I'm in your area, I will absolutely go there and buy something. Absolutely. Listen.

My wife just got back. My wife just got back to me. I'm back from last week. That's a dick move. I'm sorry.

I didn't make a mess. I was clean. I sprayed, No, No, it has nothing to do with that. What I would I would option. I couldn't even wait to place the order. I didn't have no no how to get to the bathroom. Your business, fuck up the bathroom. Come out of the bathroom, and then you pay. You pay the price.

It's time for you to order something and sit and wait and wait for it.

No, because to me, I would have to follow through.

I have the name and phone number of the place, and I will be ordering from there next time I'm coming coming to your place. They will absolutely get a sale out of it. I just couldn't you do with them stone cold lied to them. No, Initially I had every intention of buying the chicken lollipops.

I understand that, but you you, you used a lie to get out of it.

And then no, there was a lot to get in the bathroom fast. I couldn't wait. Scary sometimes you can't.

Well, the secondary lie was when you came out of the bathroom and you said, oh, wait, hold on, I gotta, I gotta, I'm not getting reception in here.

I gotta talk to my wife, and then you leave. That's because I couldn't wait twenty minutes.

If he said, because you know, some places have a steam table, they'd go like, oh, five minutes.

He'sa like, we're gonna make it fresh. Twenty minutes. But I will go back and get some fresh chicken lollipops.

You read lollypop chicken. You really screwed them over. I feel bad for them, all right, Okay, you don't.

Feel you don't feel bad for the Starbucks people. You're like, fuck, them.

The people I'm talking about, the people that occupy the tables.

Yeah, no, fuck those for exactly. Those are free laders. Do you know.

If you've got to go to the listen, you gotta go to the bathroom.

I think any every place should open their bathroom for you. I don't know about that, well, can I tell you?

I'm sure in three hundred and twenty one episodes. I've mentioned this before, but when I was a manager at Starbucks before he became the area trainer for Starbucks, they used to have a thing because I was part of the team that opened up new stores on Long Island and New York.

So we used to order chairs. They called them fifteen minute chairs. Oh they were so uncomfortable.

They were so uncomfortable that after fifteen minutes you want to leave. They deliberately put uncomfortable chairs in the stores, of course, so you wouldn't sit there all day.

It's a tactic. Yeah.

Then they were like, no, if we put nicer chairs, people will sit there and buy more drinks.

No they won't, but that was the theory. So they put nicer chairs in. What do they do? They sat there, They relaxed.

Right, And then then the internet and Wi Fi and laptops all came about, and then they're like, fuck it, we got fifteen minute.

Chairs are back in.

You can't put on you can't put comfortable chairs in Starbucks. No, you don't want people sitting there all day. Exactly where's your office? Starbucks?

No Panera?

You know, people said they get a booth of Panara, they lay out their papers and they just sit there all day.

I've seen it before. Yeah, the spe I mean, it's a great idea. If you look.

If you're out of town on business, I get you might want to go and I okay, but if you're there every day, that's your office.

Come on now, come on now.

If you're a prostitute and you want to make Panari your office, I'm all about that.

Yeah. Hey, honey, how much for a bread bowl? You know what I mean? If you know what I mean, they give you a bread ball. You know what I'm saying. Hey, I got some I got some audio? Want to play?

Okay, now that I have I have my my big sound system here, I can play audio.

I'm gonna play a clip here and I scare you're a DJ. You're in radio. Slice has helped me out here maybe maybe it's just me. I'm not good with math.

But this this is a countdown show and she's talking about the top twenty songs. And I'll play it again. I'll explain what the problem is. We here we go, tell me if you hear it.

Number twelve this week is sleep theory. Last week they were number two. Jump buck. No, it's a huge fallback. Yes, thank you. They fell back again. They fell back to its number two, and now it's twelve for twelve this week is sleep theory. Last week they were number two. Jump up, dude.

That's not a compliment. No man with number two. Now we're twelve. It's not on a scale of one to one hundred. It's backwards.

Yeah.

Okay, uh uh. Listen to this woman who's clearly from Brooklyn US. That night she ordered Chinese food and she's talking about her food. Remember last week you called me a glub, your big glube. Here she is talking about a Chinese food. Let me pull it up here, hold on, hold on, hold on, what happened?

Oh I see what happened? Okay, hold on.

You open up a TikTok app and then when you don't use it for a while, it resets.

Well soon we won't have that problem. I want to get it. So here, here's the where's the clip? Oh?

Here it is Chinese food. Now I won't give her props. She orders fried rice the way I do. But listen to what she orders. Uh the crab rangoons.

Hold on. So I ordered Chinese food, haven't had it in a while. I did spend sixty nine dollars, which what was a little pricey, But I have four people in my house, so it's definitely from our table. They gave me a free soda. I like coke, but bikers can't be choosing. Have to get crab ragoons. They're just so good.

She called them rag ragoons. Well, yeah, so I like the source ragoo. So it's supposed to be crab rangoon with singular No ragoo, Yeah, but rangoon singular because it's a it's a style. Now I was I did a commercial for I'm not going to say the client because I don't want to play the jingle.

I'm just not in the mood that's right for a Chinese takeout fast that is all around the country. And they said in the copy, the commercial copy crab rangoons. So I was like, I think something that's a that's an error because it's.

Called crab rangoon, so rangoon style. Yeah, right.

So I'm like, even if it's several pieces, you're like, oh, yeah, I'll have the crab rangoon. Well I challenged them and I said, hey, I think this is wrong. I think you have me saying rangoons. But even if it's plural, it's still singular and pronounce rangoon. And they were like, no, no, no, it's on our menu that way. Call them crab rangoons because they're individual pieces. And by the way, there's no crab in it. I believe it's cream cheese or something.

Whatever it is. It's it's cream cheese and whatever.

So I said, okay, and so I, against my better judgment, I called them rangoons.

And as soon as it played on the radio, what do you think happened? Asian people got upset and people who know better. Elvis called me out. He's like, scary, what do you call them rangoons? It's rangoon And I'm like, I know it's rangoon style, right.

It's like it's like, uh, it's like duck all all wrong.

But I'm not gonna argue with the client. I mean that's how they want it. Read it.

If it's all the men found it in all fan of scary. The client you're talking about, and I've I've been to that client. I can figure out who it is. They're not your official, authentic, very upscale Chinese restaurant, and so they're appealing to Americans who call it crab ragoos.

Right. So so if if you go into Panda Express, get.

And I'm gonna let you get away with it, all right, Panda Express a few episodes ago.

If you go in there and you see it on the menu, it'll probably list it as rangoons. And then I was just trying to be have continuity with how they wanted it, said, all right, I'm sorry, what else I got? What else you got? Uh? Let's see, I gotta I gotta pull up.

Here, hold on old Uh So, yeah, I have a lot of audio, so I'm trying to get all my TikTok videos play just in case, by the way, my phone's blown up with Biden won't enforce the TikTok band. He did seg in his farewell speech that he hopes that they can work something out.

But it's not up to him. As you said, earlier.

Right, Well, it is if he enforces it, because he signed the bill. Congress put the bill on the table and he signed it. It's a matter of it's a matter of who enforces the law. Got it anyway? Let me pull up my podcast audio. Here we go scary. This video is called what your Partner plays rain as Mr Audio to help you fall asleep.

But all you hear is chicken being fried. I hear chicken being fried. That's right, that's rain. Yeah, that's not rain, that's rain. That's a nice well bred chicken chicken cutlets. It's a guy laying in bed and he can't sleep. Now, Remember I remember I told you I was talking about this guy.

Every restaurant he goes to he talks about their famous sauce, and I was like, he's I got a smother it and Wuiki sauce whatever.

Here's two examples of what I was talking about. Boxes get drizzled with Huncho sauce sauce. Hold on three, boxes get drizzled with Cho sauce.

And you're thinking like, oh, oh, I love Huncho sauce. You don't know what the fuck Huncho sauce says. Stop it here's another one.

This is the half fries, half mac and cheese, chopped up hot chicken tender bowl from Fluffies and New Jersey. Fluffies absolutely loaded and drizzled in two layers of their fluffy sauce, two layers of their fluffy sauce. They get fluffy sauce. I'm not I don't want that. No, I don't want fluffy sauce. Al right. Here is my my favorite playlist, the QT names.

Yeah, here's my uh, here's my favorite new playlist.

It's scary.

I'm gonna play the first one and then the second one is even better. This is a guy on on Spotify. He's on YouTube. He's a drummer and his band is called sixty six Samus s a m U S sixty six six the number six, number six Samos all one word. All his songs have to do it going to the bathroom. So here is a song he calls fart metal.

This was not the Indian Restaurant, you know.

Okay, that reminds me of the Fighting Preacher. You know, the remember the Farting Preacher that was like one of the best viral videos of the like back in the day. We're a long time.

But it was a preacher who was on camera, and he'd have these crazy distinct moves and mannerisms, and every time he would move in a certain way, it would he would go blind, and he would walk across the he would walk alter and just farts.

It's hysterical.

And if you yeah, yeah, farting preacher hysterically gonna like FT metal? Two FT, I think is even better better than one.

You tell me a farts and metal they go go together. He's got a song. I want you to hear this song.

It's if you want, if you're looking for a song to play at your wedding, if your wife and you, or your husband and you, or your partner and you. You can't decide obviously it's not your wife yet you ever married, or your husband yet.

But let's say your partner getting mad.

You want that romantic song scary that you can twenty years from now, you can look back and go, that's our song.

That's our song. That's our song. Let me jump ahead.

To get that special chopping to make my ship club.

Now feel back accident of breaking the law, But you just please dance, all right. I don't find this funny, actually, that's I mean funny. I find fart's funny. I feel like that's good. Two of this. I feel like it's his whole. That's his whole, his whole band. That's all we do is ship in fart song, he's trying too hard. Well he eventually it came out exactly. I don't know, man, I don't know. I don't know that that's mildly entertaining. But you know, who might have judge? Who might have judge?

Did you like the fart Metals songs? You just look those up on the fart Metal and fart Metal.

Yeah, the first the first couple were great. I don't need the lyrics. I don't need him doing parodies.

But well, I played him in the order of my preference. That's okay, that's all right. We need to wipe the slate clean. Okay? Is that okay? Uh? You got well?

Yeah, And I'll tell you about the other time I fought the law and Brody won No.

Say that right now?

Tell us tell you just wanted to go to break to and the ship talk. Yeah, well, I'm gonna ship talk, you know, No, I was gonna I was no, I wasn't gonna go to break. I'm just gonna need the wipelee clean. Let's talk about something else.

Oh okay, I don't want to talk about my boogie lay flat seat story being broken.

That's a whole other that may require Okay, yeah.

I know that story because you told me the story. You said, I have a story about my seat and how do I get a refund. It's first world problems. First world problems.

But go ahead. You told me you're gonna tell me on the podcast, so I want to hear this.

But you did tease me last few days ago, I said, okay, So, uh did I tell you the story about the flat tire and how the price changed the flat tire when I went back, I'll reset it. I was at my friend's you know it rhymes with maybe rhymes with Davi's tire.

Sorry, I just said it.

You've said it away too late. Yeah, I was at I was at that tire place. Okay, dicrot I have. I had a slow leak in my right rear tire. Now, I bought four new tires like three months ago, the for the charger, and it's I got a slow leak, slowly.

And I've been driving with the.

Car for like a month, and I keep putting air on the tire my portable thing, and I'm like, I gotta find time. So a couple of weeks ago, I went into the tire place near me, and now I live between three locations. I went into the one near where I shop, and I said, listen, how much for a flat to be fixed?

He said, uh, thirty nine dollars. I said thirty nine dollars.

I go to a place at ten bucks, five bucks in a bad neighborhood. He says, flat fixed? What's cheat were talking about? He says, I said it used to be like twenty bucks. He's I'll tell you what. I could do it for twenty six. I said, how long would it take? He goes, I'm a backed up about an hour. So I'm like, oh, fuck it. You know, I don't if I have to pay twenty six. I don't want to pay twenty six. But it's been leaking for like a month and a half. I got to

Good. He is, yeah, don't come Monday, Come tuesday. Ohkay.

I go in Tuesday and there's these two guys working there that I've never seen before. I said, yeah, I want to get my flat fixed thirty nine dollars. I said, yeah, But I was here and he had a tall Hispanic guy here behind the county said he was the manager. He said, do it for twenty six. He says, oh yeah, Luis, Yeah, he's not here anymore, but yeah he got transferred. Oh well to what location?

We don't know. Well, yeah, but he promised me twenty six.

You we're not going on too that. He goes, let me look at you tire. I said, what's to look at. It's got a leak. Can you do it for twenty six not thirty nine? I said, that fucking suck. So I leave and I go to the other location that's a little further away, but it's not that far. And I go in and I go to the place where I bought the four tires. Now, you wasted nine dollars in gas, but go ahead, it's not that far, not that far. I live in between three of them. Okay, they're everywhere.

They're like roaches.

So I go in and she's just thirty nine dollars, I said, So I tell her the story I just told you. She goes, I can do it for twenty six. Yeah, I'll honor that, not a problem, Like you're good people. She takes my car, she puts it up on the lift, and.

She says, uh, we.

Like ten minutes, so great, twenty six dollars. It's my pleasure to pay twenty six No problem. So I go sit down, I'm chilling, and she does the thing that nobody likes getting mister Brody, you know, we talk to you about your car for a second. Uh huh, No good is coming from that scary no go.

Yeah, the up sale is coming. The car's up on a lift. So now she got you right, right.

And he breaks, What do I need? What's going on here? She says, Mike, show them what the problem is. So she shows me.

There's Now there's two nail holes in my car in the tire, the ones, the ones that she put in there. Right. See, he goes, there's there's two holes in the tire. She hammered a couple of nails in.

There, right, she was, I can't warranty the repair because there's two holes in the same general area of the tire. Now they're not near the edge, both in the middle. But I can't promise you that the patches will overlap.

And I can't. I can't warrant you that, my god, I.

Said, Well, she goes plus, if I got a patch it twice, that's two times twenty six. It's fifty two. I said, fifty two dollars. I came here thirty nine. I wanted twenty six.

Now fifty two. All you're doing is put the rubber thing in going. Are you done? You got two nails in there? Sorry, that's double the cost. Yeah, that's right, you know. So I'm like, I can't. I don't want to pay fifty two dollars. I dis a brace because I bought these tires for me three months ago.

She say, I remember that, mister Brodie, I remember you buying the tires, right, But potholes happened.

Shit happens, road happens.

Shit happens. So I don't know if you remember. If I told this story. There was a big problem with the rebate. There was one hundred dollars rebate on the thing, and she gave me the wrong paperwork and it was a whole big to do where she'd get Okay, she says, She goes, you know what, mister Brody, I remember when we messed up your rebate. Here's what I can do for you.

She says.

You know if you had the warranty on the tires when you bought the tires, did you put a warranty on the tires? I said, no, it was a lot of money. How much was the warranty? Well, it's seventy two dollars for the warranty on the tires. But if anything goes wrong with the tires in the first three years of the tire or something like that, we will reimburse you eighty percent of the tire so you don't have to pay so, I said, But I didn't take out the warranty. Oh my god, she said, so, she said,

Did I? Yeah? Let me just checked the computer. Just so, what would you like to do?

Fix the tire for fifty two dollars or take out the warranty which will cover the repair for free, and give you a three year warranty on the tire for seventy two What would you have done?

Scary? I would have taken that on. That's an upside. I took that. Of course, that's so much better. Yeah, there you go.

So I went in for twenty six. I walked out in seventy two. But I now have a fixed tire and a warranty on the time. Right, you made an investment on your tire, so that's getting paid the twenty six. It would have gone flat again on me because it a second nail. Now, Slices, here's the question, did she do me a big favor? Or, as Scary said, did she put the second nail in my tire?

Oh?

She definitely nailed that shit right in there, right, there have a nail gun in there. I guarantee you a nail gun. She goes, this guy's looking for a discount. Fuck, this guy's gonna pay double.

It's the boy podcast.

You know, there's such a difference between you and I. You asked, is that the slices saying what why don't you take Brody there? Why didn't you do this with Brody?

Why don't you It's because of situations like this, because my tire had a.

Hole in it. No, because you know what I would have done, and if the tires up on the lift and I see a nail in the fucking thing, and she's like, it's gonna cost you that.

First of all, I wouldn't ask for a discount. But if the thing is up on the lift and she's calling me over there and there is a nail in it, I'm getting a new tire right there? I said, nope, fuck it, get me a new tire.

I don't fuck that. I'm not. I'm gonna chance it and fucking drive a patch on a patch to tire.

It's not a band aid, you know when you put when you fix a nail hole, they shoot rubber into the hole and fill it.

It's not the same. It's not the same.

It's totally safe. It's a small nail hole. It's not a bullet hole. Are you insane?

Are you that scary? Of My tires are two hundred dollars a piece roughly? Yeah so it Mine are more than that.

And guess what if I get a nail in the tire, I feel like I'm fucked and I gotta get a new tire.

You would not fucked this people is their entire job is putting his plug a nail holes.

What are you to slices? If you know anything about cars. If you're a.

Mechanic, would you please leave us a talk back on the heart radio app push the microphone button wherever it's been relocated.

So I should I should know he's a boogey. Fuck.

No, I don't want to get a fucking blowout if I'm drugg doing seventy eight miles an hour the highway.

That tire is you know it? No, No, it doesn't.

That's not that's the tire blows out from the side, not the bottom. If the plug fails, your tire's gonna go flick and slowly leak again. Plus, you have all wheel drive and you BMW, don't you.

Yeah, I guess I don't know.

Which means you have to replace all four tires at the same time. No, you're gonna replace all four tires? You know they rebalance?

No? No, No, I'm not gonna do that. Balancing isn't the same as No.

When you have an all wheel drive, call you have to replace all the tires at the same time, not necessarily, At the very least, you have to replace the opposite tire on the same axle.

I know that two tires. I gotta tell you better shafed than sorry. I'm not that there's no it's on a price. You can't put a price.

On the safe tires don't leak in two seconds and they go flat while you're driving.

They don't do that.

How many times have you how many times have you patched up the same tire before getting a new one?

Yo, you can only patch it once or twice. And I've never had two holes in the same tire ever, I don't think. But once you pie get your fine. As long as there as long as the grooves are there for the water, and as long as the side of the tire is not compromised. That's why when you when you scrape the side on like a sidewalk on a curb, you can take a chunk out of the side. You got to place the tire. Because they explode from the side, they don't explode from the.

Bottom either way. I ain't driving on a patched up tire.

I just says the guy who leaves his engine running when he gets gassed.

For whatever reason, I'm letting you know, I think it's worth it to spring for the new tire.

Another three hundred dollars for a tire because something wrong. Let me be a little more transparent. I paid Corellis a five hundred each. No, I paid.

I paid in advance for the tire package on my car. Okay, so I get free unlimited fucking tires. So if there's a nail on my tire, I'm fucking changing the tire.

No.

Man, you don't get unlimited for the for the rest of your car. It's up to like a certain amount of miles on the tire. No, right, No, no, so you never have to buy a tire again. How I don't even want to know how much you paid for that.

That's insanity.

If you lease it, If you lease a tie, If you lease a car and you leave in a big city, especially one written, one ridden with potholes, and they offer you, you offer you the tire package, it pays itself off. After two flats, the whole fucking thing. Three flats, two flats, two or three flats, you're done. But you fix flats flats can be fixed?

No? Because no, because guess what if there's at nail on my tire, they're gonna change it. No, they change the tire. Yes, because you overpaid. I get it.

I totally like, no, no, fuck that, I have the tire package I want.

I want put a new tire on there. Fuck you, here's what you did.

You went to a restaurant and you gave them five hundred dollars extra that if you drop your fork, they give you a new fork.

That's what you did.

So you mean to tell me you don't get the tire package, or obviously you don't don't know.

I if I lease a car, I probably give the car back before the car. Evan eats tires, tires less like almost fifty thousand miles some of them.

So you're saying that, you're saying that that's a suckers bet.

Yeah, especially unless you're a paranoid like you. You're crazy. You get a nailing your tire, you want a new tire.

I disagree. I disagree.

You grew I don't understand. We grew up in the same neighborhood. Your father drove an old car. You didn't drive them, right.

I guess what my father tells me to this day. Get the tire package. Get the tire package. I think Slices will agree with me on this one.

Not at the price that you're tired, but okay, get the tire package.

I mean it's it's this is the world that I'm living in. I don't have a choice. I can't have a choice. I can't do a choice.

I can't do many mac and many what is it many Mow and Jack fix a flat? The Pep boys? Why not can't do it? In Jersey City? Is all these guys they're like, they put that's the problem. They fucked the car up. No they't. I'll tell you on the street that's your problem.

That's your problem, because all that does is invite more problems when you go to people that do ship half passed and they're amateurs at this stuff. Why how is he got wait a mitess what you guy at the flat fixed.

Place less skill than the guy at that at Mavis Tire.

Not Mavis, the BMW Tire Center, the BMW people.

Okay, so who's to say that to BMW people are better tired because they're licensed and they know what they're fucking doing.

They're licensed BMW mechanics.

They're not licensed tire repair guys.

Many times Dodge fucked up the repairs on my car.

They're not better. That's a Scamboni, it's not a scam. Take it to the original dealership. You exhausted me.

David Brody, speaking.

Of exhaust, you have the exhaust package in your car in case the exhaust goes bad?

Do you buy the warranty on a TV.

I may not be talking to people who drive Toyotas or Honda's. I'm specifically talking. I'm specifically talking to rich people, BMW people, Mercedes people, and maybe that that maybe the class above the basic car. Those people, they're all those cars are affiliated with their dealerships, and you are strongly encouraged. And I know you're saying, oh yeah, because it's a cash grab, and it's because they want you to spend the money there.

You were strongly courage different.

You were strongly encouraged to only have it serviced by a licensed blank Mercedes BMW, the person of.

The warranty once the warranty is over you.

Because those mechanics and those people are trained to handle the issues of that car you send it to like these random third party companies.

Random third party people may be listening to this podcast, and.

I'm talking specifically when you have a BMW or a Mercedes.

I'm not trying to be you might get the garage can fix a BMW if if if if, I would never trust them. Okay, but you know what, you know, it's not different about BMW tires. They're still made by the same company that makes the tires.

For a Dodge.

And I'm not talking about I'm still not talking about just BMWW doesn't make the tires. I'm talking about tires. I'm not talking the cars.

I'm talking about any other any other problems that go wrong with the car. I ain't bringing it to anyone but that service center A to the BMW's you.

That's you because they give you a latte while you're waiting. I get it. No, it's I just think that that's what you're supposed to do. Well, that's how you. You were raised poorly.

Uh, let me let me tell you about some things that you are. I'm gonna talk to your father about that. By the way, congratulate me. Scary because according to my email, I have won an iPad pro from from exel Plix at fixelblot dot com.

Congratulations, that's no addressed.

Yeah, click this link, click it, Click this link and fill out my billiing information Security number.

Yeah.

I may have to pay taxes on it to have to fill out the text form. That's all I won that. I just got that email yesterday. Yeah, I'm very excited about that.

You do that.

I was trying to sell a CD tower, a revolving CD tower that holds like twelve hundred CDs, videotapes or avds, because I don't I don't I don't need access to my CDs and DVDs. Okay, all right, okay, So well again when I sold the house, I've got stuff that

Oh my god? It says the description.

Yeah, Laurie. Laurie has emailed me three times. She wants to buy the videotapes and the DVDs. Are they for sale. I said, I'm selling the tower. Yeah, but what movies are on there? Find a listing for movies. I'm not selling the movies. They're in a box somewhere. I'm not gonna well are they you have rom coms?

Laura?

Uh, Laurie, I'm trying to be respectful. I'm selling the tower, selling the spinning thing. Yeah, but what are you doing with all those movies? Someday I'll list them, but right now I'm not, Well, do you have a lot of like at nineties sitcoms and rom comms? I'm looking for for comedies? Why don't you look at it? Somebody selling them? I'm not selling them. I said, it's gonna be months since when I get around to it.

Scary.

This was a month and a half ago. This started this conversation. She messaged me two days ago. It's been a month and a half. Have you gone through the boxes yet? You have those movies for sales? She's on the spectrum. Something's wrong with her.

Something no, well, I'm being honest, has something wrong with her that she's continuing the conversation like this. She doesn't understand, It does not compute, does not make any sense to her, and so I can.

Only conclude that she has some mental issues. Okay.

So I'm selling something online that is eleven hundred dollars with tax in the store, and I'm asking eight hundred and fifty dollars for it. I got a guy yesterday offered me five hundred.

Uh huh. So I wrote back, no thank you, Polly, No thank you? Yeah? All right.

So then he wrote back six fifty cash. So I said, stop low balling me. And the fact that you're offering me cash is irrelevant. Everybody pays cash or o. Nobody pays what a credit card on Facebook, Marketplace? If you venmo me, it's cash. If you pay Pal, it's cash.

You're like, I'm gonna load boil you. But I'm gonna use the word cash. Right.

So I said, all right, I'll take eight twenty five. Okay, I'm asking eight seventy five for it. I'll take eight twenty five.

Good. He says, I give you eight hundred cash.

I go again, I'm not lowering the price because you're offering me cash.

So he says, all right, I'll take it. Great. When can you come? Oh, I gotta check out my wife.

So so I'm telling you scary because I did it in the Indian restaurant. The I gotta check up my wife is the scamboni to get out of doing things right because someone just used it on you after you use it on the restaurant. Yep, yep, that's the sky. I got to check out my wife. I use it all the time I'm on the phone. I was on the phone with somebody the other day. I was like, uh, like, oh, it's seven hundred dollars. I'm like, oh, that's a good price. Let me just check out my way check it with

It's up to her. Yeah, my favorite. You know. I'll be back later. I'll be back later. I have some errands to run. Yeah, well you go, you do you go? Oh? What time you open with? What time you open? Take it back? Yeah? Oh great slices? What what do you What lie do you do to get out of ship? What lie do you say to like, Uh, well, you don't want to commit to something right then and there? Uh? What lie do you say to me? It's I gotta check out my wife, even though I don't know you're

I definitely want the TV, but I can't take it today. I gotta come back with the van.

You're up.

Are you here, Mike? You're gonna be a tomorrow right off? Tomorrow Thursday that I'll be here Thursday. Yeah'll be here, Bob, I gotta go.

Only thing is in that case you haven't already took a dump in their fucked up their bathroom.

Yeah, well no, I don't only at the Indian Place. Only Indian Place, all right? Is that anywright? So? So, No, I got one more thing to read.

This was sent to me by John one nine two five four, as opposed to on three sixteen on Twitter.

Are you reading these scriptures out of the Bible? John three sixteen?

Yeah, No, I said, it's not John three sixteen, it's John nineteen two five four. Either way, John sent me this on Twitter. I's reading from the Book of Luke. Yes, he said, so, it's a picture of it looks like a phone, but it's the thing they hand you to put in the like you want to pay and then to add the tip.

Yes, it's a giant Uh right, that's where they process the machine, the credit card processing.

Well, you talked to pay. He didn't tag you.

He said I would tag scary, but he's too he's too cool for Twitter, is what he's saying.

So it it's so.

What it is is it's a digital screen on what looks like a phone. I think it may be an old school phone vera phone. And you know how you get the six boxes get you get uh five percent, fifteen percent all the tip amounts. Yeah, And in the bottom right corner of this screen it would normally.

Say no tip.

They put a sticker over the screen with the word with the word with the word tip, So you can't select no tip.

What about that? And what kind of place is this? Uh?

It was some restaurant he was at, because I see the guy wearing gloves in the background.

A restaurant. And it says.

Fifteen ten percent, fifteen, eighteen percent, twenty percent, make your own amount, make.

Your own amount, That's what I would do. And then I put a billy fat zero there and.

Yeah, and then it says you can't you can't choose no tip. They put a sticker over it that says the word that's clever on them.

But I'm gonna I'm gonna get I'm gonna have the last laugh on that one. Enter own, enter custom amount zero and.

What would you what would you do here? I went for pizza last night. UH in the city and UH in Manhattan. It's scary, you know the pizza place because they've come up. It's Mama's Too, t o O. They have two locations, Upper West Side not a sponsor, and and the West Village where I was yesterday. It's some of the best pizza I've ever had in my life. When when people say to me, where should I go?

She didn't. She didn't do the swivel.

There was a box on the counter with a lock on it and it said tips and a little slip at the top you could put money in there.

Yeah, so cash. I had cash. But this is not a good business plan for them.

I'll tell you in a minute. Why I had cash.

I put a couple of dollars, put a few dollars of cash in the box because I've got the pizza, because because she didn't pressure me with the swivel.

Yeah, I put in.

I think it was I had four singles. I put four singles in. I don't know what the percentage was, but it was for slices of pizza. But here's why I had cash. You know my buddy Jeff, of course.

Yeah.

So Jeff and I are going into the city. We're going to park at the train station and we're going to take the train in. Well, I bring a bottle of water because I know we're going to the pizza place before the show we were going to, so I bring a big bottle of water. He says, damn it, I should have brought water. When we get me at the train station, Uh, do me a favorite jump out, get me a bottle of water.

I was like, all right, no problem.

So we're about a block from the train station and I jump out and there's a Japanese restaurant. He's like, you can see from the road that they have a refrigerator. So I jump out and he's how much is the water. He says two thirty. So I'm like, all right, give me the bottle of water, buy the water.

I give him the water. Then we go, we have dinner, we have the pizza, that we go to the show. And uh.

He never mentions the water to me, never mentions like, oh, I give you the money for the water. Now, I'm not going to ask him for the money. And in my mind, he drove to the train station, so I'll treat for the water. No problem. It's a fucking bottle of water. Who cares, it's already fort.

Well, not by me.

So, Slices, I'm gonna ask your question, slices, do you just leave it right?

And I'm not gonna ask him for the money.

But I wanted him to say, hey, let me give you the money for the water, and I would say, don't worry about it, I got it.

You droveant I want to.

Be able to say, like, thank you for driving, I got the water for you, no problem.

No, no, or he grape, So did you he assumed that he assumed that I drove you could buy me, buy me the water.

Yeah, it's understood. It's understood that you bought him the water. So so at the end of the night, I was faced with a problem.

Do I mention the water like he just want to let you know, don't eaven worry about the water you drove because I want to be like, you know, I want the credit.

No, it's understood, it's understood. Nothing needs to be said, nothing further needs to be said. Don't insult him.

So I so I didn't. I said, hey, thanks for driving. He's like, I got no problem done. But what he didn't say was, uh, hey, let me pay.

For the water. He didn't have to say, and he didn't have to say say how much the water was? He back in the bottle of water. It's cents for a little bottle of pold spring water. God damn god was expensive.

We cannot be friends outside of this podcast.

See. I will reiterate that this is an underscore. This is an underscore. Slices. Wouldever you all ask me why I don't hang out with Brody? This is exactly why I didn't asking for the money. You are asking for the money.

I know the fact that you're bringing up You're a petty son of a bitch.

You wanted him to bring it up.

Slices, Hold on, slices, if your Jeff, would you would you would you assume.

I pay for the water?

Would you offer to pay for the water? And if you're brody, would you have mentioned it like or will you be like? Fuck it, I'll just like suck it up and eat it. I don't again, I don't mind paying. It's not the issue. I don't mind paying for the water. I just wanted to acknowledge. So slices, where do you stand on this?

That's it, that's all. Why do you need why do you even need the acknowledgment? It's what made me because I wanted him. I wanted him to be like appreciative, that's all. What's what's a bottle of water amongst friends? And who's just saying? And you know, and you who's to say that? He wasn't appreciative of it because he didn't mention it. He didn't say, hey, thanks for the water. It's an understood you brought him by God, I understood. He just assumed I would pay for it. All right,

All right? Well, I need one more slice. I got one more homework assigning for you because this.

Happens a lot in absolute you are a menace to society.

Okay, but this wasn't me. Now I want I want your opinion.

Yeah, Dad Brody, next episode, I will tell you what happened in the lobby of the show we went to see. But I need I need the slices to give me an opinion on this, and scary you're gonna have an opinion. So we're in the lobby and uh, they tell us, I'll tell you both parts of the story. We're in the lobby, Jeff and I are the first ones there, and we're by the stanchion pole the velvet rope and they're like, oh, the ticket take will be ready in

So we're waiting and more people come in. They stand behind us, and.

The guy behind me, he's like sixty five seventy years old with his wife life and he's holding up a plastic bag with a menu in it. It's takeout food and they say to him, sir, you can't bring that into the theater. He says, oh, it's I got takeout food from such and such place. He goes, you can't bring it in. The wife says, I you can't. Ping. So he says, well, I'm gonna leave it outside. I'll get it after the show. He says what he ses, ye,

So we all go out in the freezing cold. Who's twenty degrees last night?

We go out in the cold, and the guy is looking around for someplace to stash his bag of food. So there's an alcove a little to the left of the theater, like you know where those pipes are at. We'll stick on standpipes. Of course, there's a little standpipe there, little alcove. He goes over there, twenty feet from the door of the theater and he puts the bag in the corner on a busy stre eat in the village.

Yep, and by the way, and so cold out. It's the refrigerator, right. So the wife says, you can't.

We don't do that. We don't eat food from the street. He goes, honey, we don't do.

That, but I do it. I'm gonna eat that food later. That's clever. So she says it could have bugs on it by the time we get back.

By the way, pause jets key. Brian does the same thing with joints. We'll be walking down the street. He's smoking a joint, and then right before we go into a place that we have we're gonna be at, he'll find like the nearest like flower pot or something whatever. He'll put the joint out, and then he'll like place and hide it somewhere, and then he goes say it for later. We go do our business inside a public

He takes a joint and he lights it up and he keeps going.

He has done this, he has done Nope, he's done his no less than a dozen times in different scenario and hitting the joint in different places which are hilarious, And.

The joint is still sitting there and no one's touching it.

Fun me for putting chicken palm in my pocket, and this guy's hiding joints there's.

No bugs anywhere. There's no bugs in the flower pot whatever it is this winter. I'm just using it as an example. Alright.

Anyway, so we're outside I don't know, maybe like forty five seconds, and the guy says, all right, everybody come back in. So I go, did you just clear the lobby so we can all go out and come back in.

Yeah.

So first of all, fuck him, Fuck you Hector, fuck you that was his name, Fuck you Hector. So anyway, the show is over. We saw a great show. We saw the Gary Goleman show. It's called Grand Eloquent. Gary Gorman's were my favorite comedians. We come out, I'm rushing, Jeff. We're gonna go outside. We got outside. The first thing I do is run outside before the old man gets outside, and I look at his bag of Fruit's gone.

Of course it Manhattan. It's gone.

Yeah, come out with his wife and he goes, you go get your bag of food, and he goes, yes, I am, and he walks someone and it's gone gone, and she said, so this fucking wife, she's like, good, good fight you.

Yeah.

Well it has Manhattan and people are hungry, and people are gonna scrounge and Yeah, they were so worried about it being like contaminated or whatever.

Someone's gonna touch it. Yes, dude, there was a bag of new food in a bag.

Of course it's gonna be eating. Someone hit the jackpot on that one. Yeah.

This guy's like, I'm gonna go get my food. And she was a this is not a woman I want to go home to. By the way, He's like, good, I'm glad it's gone. So yeah, very nice him. Anyway, all right, I had.

That. All right.

Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist, like, yeah, coming with therapy stories, that'd be great. I mean, seriously, Brodie, you've got some serious issues.

Man, you have some crazy.

To the Brooklyn Boys podcast, you really you've got some, says the guy who rolled Fips flat tire.

God twice. You're real Americans. I'm a man of the people like you are. Do boys not Brocklan Brocklin, No, boys not brock Li