#307: Jerkin GOFF in a LaPORTA Potty

Start Up Up, Start Up.

Brooklyn Boys, Start Up, Brooklyn Boys, Start Up, Up Up. They making noise Up, Start Up Up.

Episode three oh seven, The Brooklyn Boys Podcast.

You technically played the wrong opening song? Wow which one? Well, you took a vacation, Yeah, yeah, and we're supposed to play the Boys are back in town. The Boys and the Boys are back in town. Shit, So I need to hear that. Can you get that ready for me? Please? How I mean? This is our last vacation until December, So I thought, we, you know, play this bay We're back in town. Whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. No, it's not yeah, it's it's the full book, the most

Oh contrere, mont frere. I mean now, now wait a second, this wasn't my idea. But we yeah, I do have a vacation coming up, another one, another one, not my doing vacation?

Doing you mean give another vacation coming up?

We've got a couple of different vacations coming up. Well, well Thanksgiving holiday, right, you see your dog he's even aware of.

This, that he's pissed the blue. I don't I don't undert I don't understand you just having any more vacation. And then the what was I never had a vacation between September and December.

Ever, what was Columbus Day weekend is now Indigenous People's Day on the Monday on the day. Yet, so we're off there for that week. It's not Mike Goods and this is what what's what's up? But you know what I mean, another vacation, another one. This is your eighth week vacation, all right, So I'll save the boys. You're back in town from when we come back from that one.

We'll tell you what I in in in honor of your another vacation which I did find out about.

Yeah, thanks to you, I wrote a little song. Oh so you're fucking holding it from me all this time? Wait a second, I mentioned this on on the Slice Time.

What do you do? What do you have amnesia? No, it's for people who didn't he have Slice time? You ready he might be song? Here we go? What boys back for Ceptember? It was no more vacation till the senator scary.

Over, He's gone and knocker on one in October.

See you knew this already. I told you this.

Scarry's got another say station from all of his radio station. We thought Christmas would finished them all, but he's got one more in the fall.

By sis. All the rage scary shows.

Of beet on a plane miss much shats he's a way a Peaks vacation is insane.

Not to the people in Europe.

His shirt was so far way too long. Thought he was sexy, but he was long. Thank god he didn't wear up song. Fourth quarter scary going strong.

There's more, No, that's it, that's it.

Thanks appreciate you softh quarter scary Okay, you can shut it off. Shut up, shut it off. You you've got the control. Yeah. Sorry, Yes, I actually did an editor that I played the wrong one.

That was the long road that Now, why did you write that? Was that jealousy?

No?

I just you know what, I'm the voice. I'm the man of the people. Everybody knows that.

I know the voice of the.

There's not one motherfucker out there who wouldn't take every ounce of vacation they.

Were given, if they were given it. It's not okay, not my fault, just saying it's a lot of it. It's not my fault.

I mean, listen, you know, if you can get what you can from your organization and where you work, negotiate what you can and take every last day.

You have to, you have to well.

And you cannot tell me you're gonna leave anyone listening to the sound of my voice right now, you're telling me you were going to leave vacation on days on the table and allow them, No, allow.

Them to me. It doesn't mean the slices, and I don't have to be upset about it. Listen.

You could cry all you want, but I'm so sorry. I'm I like, I want to tell you because I'm not trying to be able to make it up vacation. I'm not trying to be a bulleger an asshole.

But there's not a radios there's a morning radio show in the country that takes vacation between September and the bullshit.

And first of all, a lot of morning shows now go on vacation for the entire month of December and don't come back till January fifteenth. They take a month of That's.

Fine because no one's listening to radio, no one's waking up at that time. I understand that, but not in October. October a big ratings period slices. I just well, you know, I'm here for you, and so I know now you're not going to paint me into a corner like that. You're not gonna make it look that way because you into a corner, you'll be at a resort. What's the difference what corner you're in? Listen and plus, hey, guess guess what. We're all getting older. And I looked at it.

I look at a map. There's a lot of places in the world I haven't been that I want to go, So why shouldn't I try and go The Hm, you're fine. He've been going I have you been going to the gym? You didn't go to gym today. You canceled your gym. I canceled my gyp. See that's right. Why don't we Why don't we talk about that? Why don't we highlight that to the slices that I had it?

You want credit?

You want credit for giving up working out so you could talk into a microphone. Yes, because the slices are expecting us to produce an episode, and here I am.

Why would I look? Come on, so I canceled my worry. Do you want to gattled working out? Yeah?

Okay, I canceled my fucking workout today so we can do this. Sot, look at this. I'm risking my health. I'm risking my health for the slice.

I was gonna eat water I was gonna eat water bugs today, but I didn't have time to do that end the podcast. So I decided, you know what, not gonna eat water bugs today. I'm gonna do the podcast for the slices. Wow, that's what you want? You want credit?

I want fucking credit, absolutely, because you know what, I gonna shut you down, brody, But like you know what, I'm just gonna go work out.

And here's what you gotta do, Brody. I was about to go to on a pizza tour today to the greatest pizza places in the New York area, paid for limousine so far around town. But I said no. Oh h sitting in a car with Olivia Rodrigo eating pizza. But I said no to that because I care about my slices, not the pizza slices, the slices who listen. So I gave up the pizza tour. The limbo of the show far and Olivia Rodrigo rubbing my thigh.

That's that's for the people. Oh, I gave up working out.

What you hate doing? No credit? What's on your phone? That's more important. You're not gonna give me credit. I'm not giving you credit. Okay. Were you googling what I can get credit for? Google them? What you can give up?

No?

Well, you googling how to get a pizza tour with Olivia Rodrigo? Scary gunn You had Olivia Rodrigo Sabrina Carpenter, Oh, Olivia, the correct answer was neither. You're fifty years old, but they're both of age barely and by the way, if you're fifty and dating a girl as the same age as Sabrina, go God bless you. You did something right. I'm just giving Scary Jones ship because you know he's got a girlfriend. He should be straying with his eyes and his mouth. What's my thoughts?

Wait a second, just because you have a girlfriend, I can't look.

No, no, no, no, you can look. It's when you say stuff, I can't. It's it's like, you know, it's like when you go on great T's daughter's Facebook page to Instagram page. No, no, that what which?

By the way, I hit I hit her just for some resolution. You don't hit girls.

What are you talking? H I hit her.

I hit her from my feed closet somewhere like one of those slices hit me up on the side and said, here's the best solution out of this.

You don't want to.

You don't want to, you know, get her angry or upset by Well, I'm giving the slices credit your.

When you said you hit her, my first instinct was that you put her on a shade somewhere from.

My feed, So now I don't have to see any nothing comes up ever, and uh, unless he posts her and and that's it, and then and and I don't have to unfollow her, so you know.

You admit you don't trust yourself. You're having thoughts. No, no, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying it. I don't need doesn't need to be in front of me. I don't know.

There are other things that I need to be seeing instead, like more cat videos and.

Uh yes absolutely, And I'm just I love you. I love go ahead, No, no, you go ahead. I love I love videos.

I love the videos that that that turn into the comment section where they show you the comment section.

Some of those are so offensive.

Yeah, I saw another one involving a cruise just now, and I only saw one. Oh god, it's like, really, there's one cruise line that's just getting abused on social media.

People will just.

Say anything in the comments without having any repercussion. All of a sudden, the world that we live in today, which happens to be a much more politically correct world and less tolerant of snowflakes and humor, that world doesn't exist online.

For whatever reason. Let me tell you, the comment section is fucking brutal. Well, it's keyboard Warriors and plus most of them, don't use their real names. It's all like Travis nine four seven two six five three four nine.

Oh so they're all, yeah, but can't their IP addresses be tracked?

Doesn't he doesn't?

The point?

Yeah, but if you call people on a cruise ship an awful name, no one who on a cruise ship is going to track them down.

I get cruised the cruise, but I mean you, the thing is stuff. Really, I went, I'm like, oh, I can't look at this.

I click off of someone. My social media is my real name, right, it's at David Brody and Instagram and Twitter, and uh, you know, so I have to be careful. I tell you. Though I did something I don't normally do. I got into it. There was some discussion the post had nothing to do with politics, and I made a

I'm not going to shout you out because I don't want to out you in case you don't want to be but appreciated my take on the situation, okay, which again.

I don't normally don't. I don't normally.

Speak politically as at me because it's you know, I don't, it's nobody business, and I don't really use social media for that.

So but I'll be damned if I'm going to be attacked. Yeah. Oh and by the way, speaking of attack, somebody who follows you and everyone on the morning show huh and and almost every big name celebrity yep uh sent me a I guess they don't follow me, uh or they

Check out your Facebook page. My Facebook page, Yeah, I don't. I don't post anything political on Facebook. It's all sports and comedy. Oh in fantasy football right now?

Yeah? Yeah?

Oh?

Did did I send you the world's funniest fantasy football name?

Yeah? And guess what what before you tell me? Before you tell me the name, I want to tell the story about it. So I just formed a third fantasy football league because the douchebags who were in the work league I used to be and decided I can't be in the league anymore. I don't work at iHeart anymore. So I had to form another third league. So a bunch of the people in the league are friends of friends, because I didn't have enough people who weren't already in

So apparently this is the big name of the year. The name of the year is jerking golf in a Laporta potty. That's for Jared Goff and Sam Laporta, the tight end to both the play of the Lions they played for the that's a little more, uh.

In a Laporta potty. So the people in my league just called themselves the Laporta Potties. Okay, they kept it short, but apparently, I guess that's the big name. M Laporter was a rookie tight end last year, so no one thought to name their team after him. He wasn't anybody at that point. He was the best tight end in football last year. So now everyone's like, oh, he's a big deal, let's say our team after him. So, yeah, that's the big name. Oh, okay, all right, I named

With and Rody.

I gotta say I I don't have an interest in fantasy football. This year.

I turned down all requests invites for what I turned him down because I just don't have the time.

You know, are you good at it? You draft all the giants?

No?

I don't. That's not me. I follow the stats. I know what I'm doing. Who you got Tyreek Hill?

Uh?

No? Who got him?

No?

You want to get Tyreek Kill if you have one of the top five picks I drafted seven, seventh, and eighth in my three leagues.

We won't get into this because it's boring to some people who don't play. But but who are who are the top Who are the top five picks in fantasy?

If you if you're given okay in round one the first five people McCaffrey is, of course, Christian McCaffrey is the first pick by anybody. He's the running back for unless you're insane. There were people in somebody drafted Patrick Mahomes third. That's fucking nuts. You can get him in

Right, but because he's a kicker and he gets kicker points, you probably shouldn't draft him until like round I don't know ten. No, that's not why you don't draft a kicker until the next to last or last round.

That's what I'm saying. The different the difference between the best kicker and the tenth best kicker is like eight points the whole year, right, It's it's not It's not a huge gap, whereas like the top running back and the worst run or the tenth running back could be fifty sixty points. Correct. Yes, so who you draft this kicker is almost irrelevant. And as soon as they go on a bye week. If you have a bye week,

Are women out there who their first pick is Travis Kelcey.

Which who should go in round what? Four to three? I will tell you there are people that are not drafting a certain kicker because he offended a lot of people this past year, and I would have thought he would have gone higher in drafts, which is which is ridiculous because the digital version of his name has nothing to do with the actual person like what they do in the real world. Like there's one guy on the

Person who's a fan of a certain team and they're only going to draft those team members.

Oh my god, there's a guy. There's a guy in one of my leagues. He knows who he is, Yes he does.

He drafts giants, and the giants are terrible, but he's got to have the like as many giants as he And there's a guy in the iHeart league that I'm no longer in. Yeah, who is a Jets fan. Don't say any more than that, So I don't more than that.

He drafted Aaron Rodgers last year, like this third pick, Like you could have wait until round twelve and then he played like four plays or two play whatever it was last year, last of four minutes. You can't draw, you can't play favorite. You can't be like, oh, I want to draft the guys on my team.

Now.

You have to take the best player to help you win, right always manuck Brodie, We did it.

Whoa man.

We said we weren't going to do it, but we did it. We just spent another eight minutes on fantasy football. That's all right.

I tried to make it interesting and Layman's terms and keep it simple. Brody.

I don't know if this is gonna happen or not, but I may be invited to Comic Con this year, New York Comic Con. You may, and not only will may I be. I may be featured on a live show at one of the booths at Comic Con. I went on the radio this morning and talked about the fact that I have this garbage pil Kid collection.

Did we talk about it on the podcast. I don't think we did. I don't know if we did.

Not.

Well, for years people made fun of me because.

That's not why I had the garbage Pail Kids, which, obviously, if you don't know, you've been living under a rock. Back in the eighties and nineties, the original fifteen series of Garbage Pail Kids, which was a tap take off of the Cabbage Patch dolls. They had these cards made by Tops which are basically like the deformed versions of the Cabbage Patch Kids originally. Remember that's how far back this goes. Puns and funny names, funny names, so.

Like Adam Baum and he's a kid named Adam and he's a bomb and he blows up.

Yeah yeah, and it's a picture of him like his head exploded. That's the one everybody knows. That was on the cover for eight different e eighties where I mentioned it right, Adam Bomb.

Is a kid. People, by the way, who make Wacky Packages who I write for. And by the way, there's a Halloween edition of Wacky Packages coming out in a couple of weeks. And I have the most cards I've had in any set prior. Very nice Brody Brody wrote those cards. He wrote them. I'll give you details. Yeah, I did more than that. I'll give you details as we get closer to a couple of weeks.

So in the eighties when this was happening, I was the kid on the block that was collecting them, and I said, I need to get every car.

How did you wait a minute? How did you collect garbage pail kids cards in the eighties. If you grew up with Nicki Minaj in two thousand and nine, well I was, I was before my time. It was I was a we we talked you some kind of time traveler.

So in the eighties and nineties, when the garbage pail Kids was out.

I collected every series.

I couldn't wait, and I got every series and I put them all in a nice little album, you know, so that you know, in the card slots, and I put them away. I tucked them away in a safe place for years, all fifteen series. I got every card. I got the entire collection. And there was even one card that was a reissued because it was so offensive. We could say it here. There was there was two on a cabbage patch doll with two heads, and it

In my face.

They're like, you're not going to sell these on our on our Thing Antiques roadshow, nobody would take my shit right. Well, for some reason, in the last couple of years, the garbage pail Kids collections have exploded. Maybe they've got an exposure on TikTok social media. So David Brody, with the help of you, I got invigorated and I said, I

Am I wrong? David Brody? Are you are not wrong? Scary Jones? There is value to these and I can't wait to help you sell them. Put them up for six thousand dollars and have someone offer me twenty bucks.

We'll ask me if it's available. I mentioned it on the radio and someone heard it. That works with comic.

That's what happens on the radio. Oh okay, oh comicon.

And they got in touch with me privately and they want to Actually, they're trying to get me into Comic Con and trying to get me to feature this on a one hour live on eBay. Now, apparently, what are you going to talk about on day live? Yeah, eBay Live food, so eBay Live apparently good.

That's not good. No, if you sell your stuff on eBay Live, I don't get my commiss Oh not good for you, but good for me? Not good for me. I don't get the Scary Jones commission for selling your shit. Yeah.

So now I'm at a crossroads because I have an opportunity to maybe go on eBay Live at eBay's booth at Comic Con and do it live for people there at the thing at the Comic Con and online on a weekend in October at the end of October when they're in New York. Or I could just have David Brody sell it on Facebook market Place. So I'm at a crossroads. I'm going to see what's going on.

Now.

We already have people that may be interested in this collection, right, but yeah, a bunch of people have already said, like, where you're located. I live, I live in the area. I'm interested. What's the price? But Scary and I we haven't finalized the price yet, but it's going to be a big, big price, big price huge. So anyway, and by the way, speaking of huge prices, scary, I'm very excited if you I may go to Comic Con as well, but not as a eBay guest. As you know, I

No, maybe fresh out the meaning just a fresh out the store, fresh out the store, fresh in the box.

It's it's something that was gifted and I we don't have a use for it. Okay, I got it a while ago, but I knewhen it's valuable, and it's uh and it's it hasn't even been open. It's almost as if it fell off the back of a truck. Right, so I was. I originally posted it for fourteen hundred dollars non negotiable. It's available, yep, sounds so what do I get? Is it available? Of course? Of course I understand why. Here's a checklist of stupid questions. Right, isn't it?

Yeah, podcast, be right back.

I have I have some I have some Facebook issues that I'm gonna read to you and Scary Jones. I have a Italian food fight that I've been in that you need to get involved in. I'm already I need to know your mm hmm. Yeah, let's go for it.

So I you want, so we'll do the Facebook thing later, I will segue out of the Okay.

So we'll talked about Facebook. Yeah, so let's talk. Well, this is started on Facebook, but it's Italian food. So somebody posted a picture of a chicken palm with spaghetti next to it, and the spaghetti had, you know, a pool of sauce on top, right in the center of the spaghetti, so that the white white spaghetti was around and the red sauce was in the middle. What are your thoughts on on that presentation? Pasta next to the chicken palm, sauce on top of the spaghetti, sauce on spaghetti,

The people that are against this are pretty much saying that sauce, this sauce should never be should never have just plain spaghetti with the sauce blob on top. It should always look like the color of spaghetti after it's mixed in, So it should be mixed in and always be depicted that way.

Is that what I'm understanding? Yes, that's correct, and that they're telling me how in Italy they do it that way. And I said, Italy, it don't make chicken palms, So what does it matter? Like Italian Americans don't know ship you have to mix the sauce with the spaghetti. You don't put this this way. The sauce picks up the moisture and the flavoring and the and the the spaghetti picks up that it absorbs the sauce. There are more important things to be angry about. What people have nothing

But people got people got nothing to do with their fucking day that they got to troll the comment section. If you're gonna do something in the comment section, at least make them make it.

Make it.

You know, a joke that's uh improper or something, you know, make it chi. Yeah, you know, how about some off color humor you know that makes me laugh, Make me laugh, Be clever.

I looked at hundreds of posts some argumented on this page, and everyone did sauce in the middle and sauce on top of the pasta unless it was like like, if you order like a Rigatoni ala vodka, it's gonna be mixed together because that's the dish. But if it's on the side, most of the time, the sauce is just ladled on top. Oh you're not a fucking you must not be Italian. That's how you're doing Italy. No real, I've been to the finest Italian restaurants. They mix the

Get a life, get a lie. Fuck no, you don't how to fucking eat Italian food?

Ah? This is this is this is Yeah. What kind of lazy ship bags work in the kitchen that can't mix the spaghetti and the sauce. Uh I took cook it. I took I was, I was. Uh I took cooking classes when I worked in a restaurant. And when you take the pasta out of the water, it's the most absorbent. And that's when you mix it with the sauce, because it takes the flavor the sauce. One kind of idiot whatever to mix it.

Ah, have you ever gave it given it two thoughts? As an Italian?

I've never given it two ship Brody, No, I have not. I have not. I'm sorry your mother was a fake Italian. When somebody said, I can't where was this, it's on a face one of the many faces was I'd love to know it wasn't an add somebody said, look I had chicken. I had a great chicken palm dinner at this restaurant, and look at this. And then someone was like, the fuck it can't mix the spaghetti. And then it just got into a fucking war.

A war.

But doesn't every comment section turn that way? Every comment section turns that way, Brodie, this is what I'm talking about.

Has there ever been a comment section in the history of comment sections, whether it be on YouTube or Facebook or Instagram or TikTok anywhere on the Internet that has not turned sour or racist.

We have a friend who works at a record label. I'm not going to say who it is. Great guy, and he leans politically one way, but he has a lot of friends who lean the other way. Because when you're in the record industry, he travels the country. He meets people from all different books country. You get bulth. So a lot of his Facebook friends are not actually his friends, they're Facebook friends. So if he posts anything,

It's just that ugly And the guy was just posting a picture.

Of my kids first day school college college. Are like, oh, that fucking liberalod they're gonna brainwash him and a doctor ate, and like he's like, I just it. It's my kids first day school. Can't be can't be the end of the innocence with the birth of the Internet. So I gave him a private message and go dude, why don't you block these people? He said, because I do business with them, I can't. I'm like, oh thank god, Wow, that's my point. It's like, if you're political, then you're

And you know what, not everybody should be given a fucking amplification system. We shouldn't, you know, we should go by. I hate to say it, but like you know, here we are the grumpy old men. Just social media about social old men. Social media has fucking ruined it because there are some people out there that should not have a voice.

They shouldn't. Yeah. Well and well, someone on Twitter we were talking. I was talking about the Mets with somebody and I made a reference about David Wright being a great had a great season, and this guy's like, shut the fuck up, kid, you don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, you're a young punk or something and you don't know shit about sports. Young punk. I mean, thank you, I'm

I'm singing right now because you're talking about spaghetti. I keep thinking about on top of spaghetti the song what was on top of.

Are covered with cheese?

I lost my pawn meatball because of a somebody, see you know when somebody and it rolled off the table and on the floor and then rolled under the door. What kind of shitty meatball rolls under a door? By the way, And is that the end of the song? No, there's more, but I'm like a single whole song. What where does it go after that?

I don't remember. Is there another verse? I didn't know that.

Hey, while you were at it slices, we were talking about fantasy football teams earlier. Why don't you tell us your funny fantasy football team.

As long as it's not big titties or big tds. That it's a pun on tds and titties. That's nineteen ninety. Here's the definition of call give an infant? Is that is that fair?

Just leave out them big old tds or whatever tds. It's not show me, show me them tds.

Yeah, but what are you looking at? Brody?

What?

What did you play? Anything? You played something? I just heard something over the microphone. You played some audio. Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize I had the I didn't realize I had my phone from when I played the song still plugged in, So the phone made a noise.

I just don plugging.

A lot of a lot of problems happen. You want to meet poll lyrics, Yeah, go for it.

Okay. It rolled in the guard, It rolled into the garden under a bush, and then my poor meatball was nothing but mush. The mush was as tasty as tasty could be. And early next summer it grew into a tree. The tree was all covered with beautiful moss. It grew great big meatballs and covered in sauce. So if you eat spaghetti all covered with cheese, hold on to your meatball and don't have a sneeze. Okay, it grew.

Those last few never never heard it before. I didn't know there was more to it. There's more to a lot a lot of Isn't there more to the star Spangled banner?

Aren't there like other verses?

There's like, there's like twelve verses of the national anthem, of our national anthem? Isn't that crazy? A lot of things in the first verse, is it? What about happy Birthday? I feel like there's more to happy birthday?

No, we made up how old are you now? That was added?

Okay, there are a lot of songs though that we sing that there's there's more to them than than than we know.

Well, you remember you remember the uh jingle bells and it smells fifty miles away, picks his nose with cheerios and eats it all the way and then people change into Batman and Robin and then they added dated all the lyrics. Yes, yeah, there's a lot of kids songs that people know. People to swear to you. Yeah, I'm not so an altered no, but people will swear to you. Those lyrics are always there. Oh no, that's how I learned it. Well, that's how you learned. It doesn't mean

At some of these comments on the on this fucking spaghetti fight, jeez, I gotta tell you, Brody found it.

Yeah, I'm I'm yeah.

You know a lot of things though, a lot of fights I think are born on the Internet and the comment section because of general because of generation, because of a generation gap. I feel like it's like it's the boomers versus the gen xers, versus the millennials versus Gen Z and now Gen Alpha.

Has entered the mix. Those are your people that are well, here's what I've learned, here's what I've heard, seen and I didn't. I didn't steal this from a comedian. This is my my theory, Boomers, this is the way it used to be. Yes gen Z says, this is the way things are now, m H and jen X says this is the fucking way they're gonna be. I don't give a fuck, right, I'm not changing here. I have a great example of this. God.

Yesterday, rich homy Kwan passed away at thirty four years old. He's a rapper from Atlanta. Do you know who that is?

He was? Yeah? Yeah, he was, well he was he was a rapper. Yeah. He pauses witherence, So this is amazing. I'm gonna play the audio. Actually I just pulled it up because it's a long video clip. Not a long clip. That's who cares.

We're gonna use it anyway. It's hysterical. Our slices are gona appreciate this. My favorite p Then while it's playing, my favorite, let's take a piss. But the Joe but Joe Cooy, famous comedian, and he's in. He's has a bunch of stand up specials and stuff. He pretty much sums up like the generation gap thing. He he talks about. He talks about real rapper from back in the day versus mumble rap of today. Right, there's a lot of trap music and stuff that you can't it's unintelligient.

This song lifestyle, well.

Lifestyle from Rich Homi Kwan is about maybe I don't know it's within the last ten years or so, but it's.

You'll hear Joe Koy make a reference to it.

As he's comparing Biggie to Rich homik give a punch line.

Well, he compares Biggie to them.

So so this is Joe Koy doing his stand up and you know, rest in peace, Rich Homi Kwan.

No shade to you.

Uh, even though we're gonna play this and it kind of pokes fun at mumble rap.

I saw I saw mumblest on TikTok about Rich Homie Kwan dying. Yeah, and on a common in the comments section, somebody wrote rich Homie gone, and I don't think that's that's.

That's not that's that's distasteful. What Joe Koy did was just this is a verb, but this is the epitome. This sums up the generation gap between.

All the difference then in there they died thirty years.

Ago to this day. You play a biggie song and it's still fucking shuts down the club. Don't act like it doesn't. You missed the whole beginning. Fucking but don't get me wrong. The mumble wrap is it's catch up. But I'm just saying the fuck are you saying? Pet bet to keep chip?

Live Stock just fucking mumbled, and it's like, what word?

Fuck you timp batch it live stock.

Tim man, tim mankin to a mon Ini, don't turn the mouth, put fats get shut the fuck up.

I'm sorry.

There's some people that don't know what song is gonna play that term?

Can you play it just like.

Ship lit, live stock, livest.

Tell them thus and shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck. Hey.

If I sound all, I sound all, but I'm sorry you play you played some big eel. Shut any fucking place down, play some biggie.

Your pass, Jesus shoot things.

Davis shot what chams for my hooks in Brooklyn? What the fuck?

That's the only reason why I wanted to shoot this special in Brooklyn. You couldn't fuck with Biggie Biggy made anything sound cool. If you breathe heavy, that's shit was a lyric. Oh whatever that made sense? He was a poet and if you didn't know, get the fuck Brooklyn left.

I also played that because I scary played the clip because it's Brooklyn and with a Brooklyn boys Brooklyn hilariously.

Yes we are, Yes we are. We gotta take a quick break.

Podcast.

All right, Brody taking a deep breath. Listen.

I don't want to talk about vacations because you just opened the show by destroying all of my vacation.

So now I can't even tell you guys about Sandals. You know, but I had, I had some stories. I had stories about yeah, are we good here? What I bet we good? What I let you get away with a combos slip in last week?

Well I was good, Yep, we good. But I mean, I don't want you to mention an airline. You can talk about Sandals. I don't even mention like the airline or the Uber service you talk or you know, the restaurant you stopped in.

Don't mention any any clients as you tell his story mentioned Sandals, what a great time you had, But don't try to slip any other shit in.

I had a great time at Sandals. It was an awesome, awesome time. Okay, the food was amazing. We you didn't get a bootleg bathing suit. I didn't buy a bootleg bathing suit. That didn't I did have. I gotta tell you, though, there was a pool on my balcony.

So yeah, I saw that. Yeah.

And by the way, before you showed your pool balcony, you showed a video from down on the ground up to some guy that I don't want.

To see in a pool, but you could see his ass in the pool. It's the balcony. The balcony. I've never seen the hotel. What hotel was that? That was Sandals Duns River in Jamaica. Oh my god, it's gorgeous. It is. It's a year year old. It's only a year old. It was beautiful. I gotta say. You go to a lot of places and I go, oh, that's really nice. This was the first place in a while that i've you've posted where I went. I really want to go there. Yeah, like I was, I was a

So when you're in the pool in your balcony, it's a mirror, so you're clear you see, well, yeah, no, no, but I'm looking. If I'm in the pool, I'm looking and I'm seeing my reflection back.

Oh oh, hold on.

But if you're if you're outside downstairs and looking into the balcony and looking up, which is basically the entire resort, the swimp bar, the main pool, you you actually see through into the pool.

Oh no, so no sex in the balcony magnet.

Well that's not true, Brody, because not me, but the bartenders at the swim up pool as I was looking up, as as I was on my perspective. Now I'm in the swim up pool outside by the bar, and I'm looking up into the balconies and I'm like the bar. I looked to to the bartender, Oh my god. Look, I didn't realize that you could see right into the pool. And it's magnified clearly, like you're looking through goggles, so

So the bartender's like, oh yeah, on he goes, yeah, we've seen a lot. As it turns out. In case you didn't know Scary was in Jamaica, that was his Jamaican accent.

As it turns out, they've seen a lot in the middle of the day from that swim up bar and the bartenders of people in the pools in their balcony pool and they could see clearly what the fuck was going on underwater. They could see if people were skinny dipping, if some crazy you know, why.

Aren't the sides mirrored.

There's so at the same time, there was some construction going on and building too, and it wasn't construction, it was correction. They basically have closed off the second building and they're they're now going to make sure that the glass that you see from.

The outside frosted.

It's frosted, right, So now they're replacing all the glass on all of the balcony pools to make.

Sure that somebody should have thought that through.

If you're on the outside looking in that you can't see people having sex or you can't see anything. A privacy I've never seen. I've never really seen a pool where you're on the outside looking in.

To a fish tank. Crazy interesting thing. They don't want you to look down because there's someone in their pool right below you, and they don't want you to look up and see like somebody naked right above you, right, because you'd see their ass right above you. But it's okay if everyone outside sees you, Yes, isn't it craz wild? So just correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm trying

Oh?

Yeah, no, no, no, no no, So they walk you there.

So if you want to go to the spa, they basically walk you all the way across the resort and they walk you onto.

The pier and you get your spa treatments. That they have a beautiful spa.

And also, oh oh my god, yes, not only that, Berdie, they had a rum club in there with over thirty RUMs.

You could get a limited rum. Everything was all included, by the way. That's the other thing.

Anyone who goes on a trip like this and goes to Sandals, you get you get rum and do you get a rum and rub?

Uh huh? I did not stop it. No, I'm saying you get a lot of rum. When you get a massage, get some rum with the message.

Yeah yeah, no no I did not get the rub with the rum, but I will say this like you know, it's ah, there's the right.

It's one of my first all inclusives. I've never really done the all inclusive thing.

So the hotel was there, included the all the food, all the drinks, twenty four to seven, uh you know service, you know like that twenty four seven room service, twelve restaurants to choose, not just you know, and then buffets and brody. You would have loved it. You would have gone. You would have come back with palm pockets if you don't know, I got listening, listen to order order. I uh.

It just looked peaceful and elegant. Yeah, and what fun. And I thought, because a lot of times you go to places and they're like, you know, it's like Doo's at the pool and DJs with the sparkle of bottles, and you're going for a different vibe. This was my vibe. It really was the kind of vibe where I would be like, Okay, people are having fun, but also it's tasteful fun and great food. It's just I'm I'm very jealous that I know. I don't mean to go. I

And you know, you get there, your wallet goes in, you're safe, and you never take your wallet out ever. Everything that I mean I'm in for that you had met my wallet doesn't come out. It's you know, really and you get a fully stuck bar and you room too. I mean, oh, there was a coffee shop like it looks like like a Starbucks of sorts, and you walk in and you just take pastries. There's pastries behind the counter,

We make all these alcoholic drinks too, ways, and it was day and night. If you and I go, maybe in October on your next vacation, because I already know them off. If we go, you're not gonna have your job lined up by then, your new gig who knows? Who knows? Right now, I'm casual. Can we expense it?

Like?

Can we can we write it off on our taxes as a business trip. I don't know about that, like Brooklyn Boys, Brooklyn Boys, and then we can come back and talk about it and like have topics. I want to get that way, then we could write it off as long as we make it a business thing and use it for our podcast, we could write it off on our taxes. I like, where you going with this? I don't know.

I want what I want what I would you know? But we would have to give away a trip. I want see if we're going to do something as a show. I want to be able to get as a podcast show. I have a podcast show I want to give. I want to give a trip away to a listener to get anybody. Did you schmooz with anybody down there? Did you meet the hotel manager and make get a name?

I did? I did, But I'm wondering I did, No, I did? I did. I'm trying. I'm trying very desperately now to to uh see if we could maybe work something out. We'll figure that, figure that out, because I gotta be honest with you, and if that includes us going with the winners. That even better because I really

His personalities exactly. Yeah, but Sandals is for adults, adults only. There were no kids there.

Oh my god, that was the best part. No kids.

My kids are all adults now, so it's fine. But Bacon Beaches was all about family. So Beaches is their sister resort. Actually it's families for them. And Scotty d went on a Beaches trip.

So I did it. Yeah, I did Sandals. He did Beaches. So thank you Sandals Dun's River for hosting me. All right, very nice. I'm jealous, Brody.

You would have freaked out if you were on this flight that I was on on my way back from vacation.

Was it in the air?

No, well, if the plane was in the air, would I want to know what you would have done in this situation? Demanded a free ticket. I already could tell that's gonna be your response. So, oh yeah, we'll land Okay, we're over Newark. It's five point thirty in the evening. We are the next plane to enter the airspace of Newark and land.

We were next. All of a sudden, the pilot comes on and says, Hi, everybody, do it? Do it like the pilot?

All right, good afternoon, I'm so next to be uh in that new our air space to land. And we've just been informed by ground control to Major Trump that we are going to be diverted to Dallas Airport in Washington.

D C.

Now, so what that's not the closest airport.

We did the closest almongk is that a passenger asking a question back there? That was just me yelling at my closest available airport that could help us out right now. As it turns out, the the radar has gone out on the ground, they have no radar. So planes are being diverted, planes are being flights are being canceled, flights are not taking off from Newark Airport. So we are going to Dallas in DC. Okay, so we should on

Okay, So for those of you who don't know the New York area. There are three airports within ten miles of Manhattan. Correct, could you could have landed in Lagua while you're at an international flat on how big a plane? It was an international flight regular? Seven thirty seven, seven thirty seven, You could have gone LaGuardia. It was a bowe They can't, they can't, they can't take Boeing is not a size, it's a company.

Yes, then that's going to play into the story in a couple of minutes because it gets better.

Okay, LaGuardia can't handle larger planes, so seven thirty seven is fine. You could have gone to LaGuardia or Kennedy Airport. Yeah, you also could have gone to Westchester at Philly Long Island. Right, there's a Long Island airport. There's a Westchester Airport which is directly like fifteen.

Miles, which is just down the turnpike. Okay, right, this right, Philly or Boston. Right.

So here's the problem.

That was the apparently somewhere around two thirty in the afternoon, this was a national story. They something interfered with the radar and fucking knocked out the radar. By the way, that story went away. Really, did you have your digital book reader on?

Yeahoom?

Is that I actually I took my phone out of I took my phone out of airplane mode and it caused a whole big stir on the ground.

Uh and passages, can you please turn off your electronic book readers where we land? So that's a whole other story.

How the story was there until it wasn't and everything disappeared from existence.

Nobody There was no follow up.

But for whatever reason, the radar at Newark Airport and Teeterborough went out in the middle part of the afternoon. I don't know if anything interfered with it. I don't want to speculate. There was some things going around online about speculation of drones and interference whatever, and it got it spiraled out of control really quickly.

So I shut down it. I shut down that app. No the plane.

I shut down the app because I didn't want to speculate myself. The plane spiled out of control. So whatever everyone air travel into and out of Newark that day was fucked. And it happened to be at the minute that I was trying to land. So they they take us to Dulles where they drive us to an area of the airport that is so far remote near any gate see you later, and they park us there and they say, well, there's no gates available here, so we're just gonna sit here on this in this remote area

Can I throw up for a minute before I get corrected by people. I forgot it was an international flight. You can't land at LaGuardia. Go on with you commisation.

Oh that's right, correct, Okay, So here we are. So we're sitting there and now with with no and in a half hour passes and hour passes, and he finally get clearance. All right, folks, we got clearance. That's the good news.

We can head back to Newark. The airport's open.

But as we were landing, we found out that we've discovered a maintenance issue unfortunately, and it turns out space station we have a well not far off from what I'm about to tell you, we have a sticky valve.

They discovered a sticky valve. That's a very popular brand of marijuana these days. Sticky valve, sticky valve. Yeah, that's what happens in your underwear in the morning, right, you have a sticky valve. You wake up to a sticky valve, and I hate when that happens. Crazy dream brody.

Do you know, as you mentioned the International Space Station also a Boeing, a Boeing Starline, the people that are trapped in space? Do you know why they're trapped in space?

Well, they're trapped now because the ship left today, right, But do you know why? Do you know why they were trapped to begin with them? Why they couldn't get them back? Well, without knowing officially or remembering on, I guess sticky valve. The star liner, the Boeing star Liner has a sticky valve. So now I'm sitting here like we gotta loub that shit. How long?

Now?

By the way, my girlfriend sitting next to me, neurotic, How was she?

Was?

She sticky? She's crazy? She's like, she starts googling sticky valve on flights.

You do not want to fucking know what the repercussions of an of of an unchanged sticky valve will get you.

You don't want to know.

It could cause engine failure mid air. Like, dude, we are lucky, I guess. But they say, if it's not taking care of the problem is not addressed, they could cause all kinds.

Of shit things can go on the engine. Can you imagine the engine can shut it down? If this if the sticky valve problem shut the engine down on your flight from Jersey, the dullest that means you wouldn't have died had the radar not been out. You could have landed in now right.

But here the problem by radar one problem, we got, the next, we got the next. So they're saying like, well, we're stuck here. We can't pull up at a gate. Uh. And now they they're they'll let us know in about an hour what the story is if we can get

Wait wait wait. So why, in the words of Herve Philages, the little guy from Fantasy Island, why didn't they have your plane? They're playing both the.

BILA can't because we're in the middle of a sidewalk. We were in the middle of the sidewalk. It's like asphalt. So they fucking they roll a standcase over like you had a president against the law to let us out of the plane.

So we're sitting there Customs International Flight.

Yes.

So now we're sitting there. It's hot as fuck. And then they came back. It's gonna take about an hour to change the sticky valve. All right, we'll see you then we'll give you an update.

So they couldn't open the door at the vent. Maybe the door opened the front, but like, what is that to do with the people who wrote thirty seven? It doesn't mean anything.

So finally an hour later they fixed the sticky valve and they say, all right, we're ready for takeoff.

My five.

They take We take off from Dulles in the middle of nowhere Dulles, and we land in Newark at about a.

Quarter to ten. It's now what time we're supposed to land?

Five thirty? Oh what a fucking night. That was the ending to my trip. That's the thanks, you know what. That is the thing that wasn't the beginning of your trip. And the first day was ruined. But but cause talk about reinvigorating the stress and anxiety in my in my system, in my body.

All the all the work that was done was undone for my vacation.

I came back like the ten o'clock, got no sleep, had to go to work on three hours of sleep.

Anyway, my point is it was okay, yeah, all right, So so like sandals, we had a great time and it was all inclusive. Yes, this was did they make Did they make the plane all inclusive and give you free drinks, free food, like like take care of you guys in that hour while he was sweating your bols. No, but when we took off, they gave us chips and some cookies. Oh they gave you Yeah, I got, I got the bis coff. You know the bis coff.

Every airline has the biscuff, the short bread cookies whatever the helly Oh no, no, no, some of them have ginger snaps whatever, No, no, no, no, but these are the do the doof waffles.

The oh the struth waffles, Strue waffles. Yeah, those I like those truth waffles on his flight just when I when we when my wife and I flew home from Amsterdam, we got the Streu waffles because that's a big thing. Waffles there. It is sure, Oh my god, what are you all your dogs like that? Because because he's barking at nothing right now, he's barking at a door because he heard a cargo by. Is he howling at the moon? What hush, No, that's Ozzy Osborne. He's not. That's not

Far to this moment, I have uh not heard from them, and they just figure asked them if they figure ever gave you a voucher and everything's good.

Nothing nothing, no, we were no, we no good, we we're good. No, We're not good. So why didn't you hear any grape soda being handed out. So what do I gotta do now?

Now I got I got a register holding air. I called them, They said they sent me to a website.

No, you gotta tell me. Your girlfriends close to yourphobic. She has high anxiety. Uh, she had to go to the bathroom, which is true. She Okay, you had to meet somebody at a call. Your mother was waiting for your Robin's mother was waiting. Somebody was waiting for you to pick up at the airport. They had they gotta you know, they they fucked me.

But the thing is everybody they're gonna come out, They're gonna come at us with Well, we had no control. Every carrier had a problem landing and taking off that day because of the equipment on the ground.

Okay, but sticky valves while you sat there with no air conditioning, sweating your ball, sticky valve, right, because you were probably dressed for colder weather because here in New York and New Jersey was cold, that's correct. So and you can't switch in your bathing suit of your shorts because those are downstairs in the in the in the in the luggage.

So we couldn't move from the plane nothing. We just they said, we'll take you know, the seatbelt sign is lost you around.

I would figure out a way that Newark Airport can reimburse you for redirecting your flight because they had a problem. That's not your fault. And then sticky valve, Sticky valve, that's that's where two hundred bucks minimum for sitting. So you sat for an hour, Yeah, you flew for an hour. You have a flight back in an hour, and you sat with no air for now and and because of sticky valve. And I would tell them who the fuck you are, and you'll go public that it was another

I mean, the people in the space right now, they're really paying the price for sticky Valve. They they can't get home till February, and they they gotta catch a they gotta catch a ride on SpaceX. Elon Musk's played. They're not even getting the star Liner back. Boweing just said bye bye because we can't. What kind of bullshit is this and what kind of bullshit company is Boeing?

What are they doing? One time? I just want some money, I just want to I just want to be made whole.

You Uh, you gotta get okay. Here's how we calculated. One hundred dollars for being rerouted to Washington, two hundred dollars for sitting on your ass in the heat, and another hundred for the delay. So the delay itself is one hundred dollars because it's sticky valve.

I love Brodie Math. I love Brodie Math. So I'm thinking one hundred for the reroute, one hundred for the flyback because that's another hour of your time, two hundred for sitting in the fucking heat. That's four hundred dollars. And I throwed another hundred because your father had to leave the airport. You had to take it uber home.

And all of this, mind you, is being paid by United. Or how do I even get in touch with Newark Airport and tell them that they owe me money?

Google dot com? They have a customer service department at Newark. I guarant fucking tee it And if their radar went out, that's their problem. They have to reimburse you. Why scared? What have we learned?

Even if free dessert, if you paid to get home, you got home. But something's not even well Brodie. I'll tell you what you do the leg work, and I'll give you half of whatever I.

Get, all right, I'll tell you what information I need and then that's and I'll pay you.

And i'll pay you in cash because they're probably going to give me a voucher for my flight, and.

You'll give me fifty dollars to come over your apartment because I have to be there with you. So if I have any questions, you're right there to write it down on paper because I'll be on speaker phone with you. I love it. That's fine. I'm in. I'm in. I can't top that. You said it fun, I sure did. This is a this is a David Brody story. Is you got Brodie? You got Brody? And you know what I get?

This is the price I pay for going on vacation, right, this is this is almost like.

I got my just desserts. It's almost like, you know what, if farm is a bitch, I would be afraid to go away in October? Who knows where you're playing? Might land next?

I don't know, you might land by the gas station pizza.

Place in Iowa. Yeah, we're rerouting you to Iowa

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