#294: Bougie Boy Buys a Bad Bootleg Bathing Suit

Guess who just got back today. The Brooklyn modes that had been away. They both have so much to see, you know, Damn Scary with David Brody, I got you. Oh, I'm ready. I didn't see it coming. I didn't fake you out. I did the look. I wasn't paying attention, but I was ready. Episode two ninety four, it's the Brooklyn Boys podcast, back after a week of vacation.

Yeah, which we very briefly discussed on Slice time for episode two ninety three.

Was vacation for Scary Jones. Yeah, when we talked about all the wonderful things I did on my my time away from you, my Scary Jones vacation. Mm hmm, that's well that. Yeah, you were. You were vacationing from me. I was vacationing from America. You were vacation thing from a very important person. And I'm going to call you out on it at some point. But you said you had a bombshell, said wait for it. I got a bombshell just before we hit the story. I don't know

Okay, hold on, I'm not saying we shouldn't get shared on the phone at some point.

Get on, she would love to talk. What right now?

Now?

Hold on, hold on, it's not I don't want to get too personal.

But is she is she she's with her guy, Scott of course.

But not married. No. Yeah, so consends. Is her name or his? That's her name? No, she never took his last name.

He's Scott Windhauser, Windheuser, Cassette. That's a mouthful if she combines them. So the kid, look, her name is z Case. I mean of all the name O, my god, all the name. You got a Cossens in there. You can't zens with ends.

You can't. You couldn't name a Vinnie Guido.

Anthony sounds like the right move.

Nzo Cascenzo. It's not hold on, I'm calling her right now. This isn't your bomb shallow? Is it? Well? It involves her? Are you the father? It's crazy here and I can't believe it. Hi, Cheryl share my god, my podcast co host from Speaking Volumes. You're on the Brooklyn Boys podcast with David Brody. Yeah you are, But I was I was about to share. I was about to drop. I was about to drop the bombshell on him. I haven't done it yet.

I'm thinking the bombshell as scary as the father of your last child. But he's saying that's not the bomb. Well, well, first of all, he's making fun of the name. I have questions. I could first okay, okay, Hi.

By the way, I haven't spoken a while. How you been hi, Bradie.

What's going on?

But yeah, you know I hate you Bill to the left.

I heard that you are continuing to help the population of the planet and adding adding to the population.

There's a question.

Oh God, help me what's the question.

Okay, you are Italian. I don't think that's any question about that. Right, you're Italian? Question right? So you have a you have like a limited number of names to choose from as an Italian mom. Right, you got your Guido, your Veto, You're Anthony, you sal you call mine. There's really only like a handful. You're not gonna name him like Jeremy. You're not gonna name him Chad. You got, you got the Staten Island Brooklyn, choice of like six names.

But then there's as like that's probably true.

But then you have those uber Italian names you got, like do.

You hear this chiming in? There's a child chiming in as your Yeah.

We'll get to we'll get to him in a second. You got you got like Vincenzo, you got like the uber Italian names that like could be like you from Italy Gitano right right, right, like uh yeah, Luciano, right, you got the uber Italian name it right, every every Sopranos character, right. And then you go and you choose an uber Italian name, right, and it's a fine name. I love the Italian people, you know, I love Italian people. I love it Tian people. You love Italian.

He loves you like Italian food, don't you?

Yeah?

I do, I said, I love Italian culture and food. I love it all. I grew up in an Italian neighborhood. It's all I know.

Grow up in an Italian neighbor.

I did Benson Harst Hello, I meant formerly.

Italian.

So he's he's bet. Just go for it, Brody.

When I grew up, there was a newscaster on Channel seven. His name was John Johnson. And I used to sell me of all the names in Johnson family, name me kid John John Johnson.

And then I went to school with a girl. Her last name was Defina. Italian girl named Defina could have named anything on the planet. They named her Gina Gina Defena. Where to God, the name was Geena Defina. Yes, that's what I said, Like, seriously, you couldn't name it, like even like Maria Defina.

It's not as been close as Gena Defena. And I'm sure unless Gena define is attractive girl.

And un remember that.

That's just of course you remember it because name was Jena Defena. I knew an Anna Banana. You did, not, my god, oh my god, but you have an unusual Italian name. It sounds like cordenza, right, like a piece of Furnit like a cordenza.

Right.

You know what?

It actually sounds like George Costanza because George, I said, people always put they always said my name Costanza instead of Cosenza.

Right. I said, you should have named your kid before scary called you. I said you should have named your kid George. George.

I would killed myself. I would have killed kids.

Already bold Right, he's already close. Put some glasses on him, perfect Halloween costume. But then you didn't go for the hair. Okay, but then but then you you you practically hair, you practically gena because you named your kid Enzo Crescenzo. And no, it's not Cassnzo.

It's totally not Cassnzo. It's Cassnzo. Ah, and so it's Enzo Cassnza. It's actually the best part.

You got the doubles ends.

I know, isn't that awesome?

I like it. It flows, it goes right off the tongue. I like, people are gonna call them, people are gonna Cassnzo.

No, they'll call him e.

I think a lot of people call him E like I like E and I liked e J because his middle name is g.

J.

So it's en yeah, Jake, it's she chose a Jewish name.

No, no, no, no, no middle name?

No wait you ready. It's actually a really cool story to it.

But it's actually my dad's initials, so we actually spell it differently. We spell A J A C, but it's pronounced G and it's my dad's initials.

You can't sell, you can't spelled to tell people it's Jake. So well, Brody wants to know why you.

Wait a second, Brody, do whatever I want. It's my kid.

But they're gonna call him a jacof. You can't do that to the kid. It's jc off.

Are they gonna call him Enzo Cuzenza? Are they gonna call him a Jacob?

Now?

Which one is it gonna be?

It depends on what neighbor you grow up in, because if it was my old neighbor, they call him all of that. Ship's a beautiful name. I loved.

I love you, do you know what? No?

I love the name. I I'm obsessed with the name. I wanted this name so bad. But do you even understand why his name's Enzo.

I'm assuming you know why, because it's it's fit with the zens, like the rhyme of it.

My daughter's name is Porscha. I am a car girl.

And when I was racing Ferrari, people were racing ferrari is, and I told myself that I wanted my two children to have these badass names Ferrari own, no, no, And you know what some people.

Are, like sheriff, we know you better. You're gonna name this kid like Lambeau or something like what are you crazy?

Like really like no no as a guy.

And do you know what the name Enzo stands for. It stands for like powerful, superior king. It's like everything that you can imagine if you looked if you ever looked up names, like when you decided to name your kid. I actually don't know what your kid's names are. But when you decided to name your kids, did you ever look at.

Like what the name's been? Or why you name them that?

Years later he is later as a goof you know why again?

Why though you think your kid's name is a goo? Like what if your name did something? And god? Or like or like.

Because because doesn't but doesn't those have made up things. If I name my kid, let's say, name my kid James, and then I look up as James James powerful warrior. Somebody made that out. It doesn't actually mean powerful warrior.

It means this stuff.

It's like the horoscope. It's all like it's I don't listen to that ship. I'm not I like something.

I like them.

Listen I had a them, the same way you have people like Paris Hiltan who said that she always wanted a phoenix and she wanted a London.

Everybody's got their own thing.

Absolutely, I think it's great. I think is fantastic. I love it.

And wait, not that not that the movie was so great. There I got to say, I wish the movie was better. But that's beside. The point was fantastic.

That was amazing. Oh my god, that was amazing. But the whole thing. Did you ever go past the name of Enzo? Do you ever? Do you know what an Enzo Ferrari is?

It is the most unique vehicle that they made. I think they made, uh, maybe four hundred and ninety nine of them in the whole country, and they like literally made them. They stopped making them in something like two thousand and I think it was two thousand and two or something. They were so badass that even the Vatican.

At one point had block kicked okay to raffle it off for something.

It's millions of dollars. They're so unique.

The power behind that car and the idea when you're a car person is just insanity, like the idea of like the Enzo Ferrari.

I mean, it's just very cool.

He will he will grow into that personality. I believe that thing. I think you become your name absolutely whatever you know, Portia an Enzo end up driving.

They won't.

In fact, I'm sure I'm destined to buy them each their own main cars.

They're sixteen.

Here is and you know you hear me here, Brody was.

You should have keep making movies because I got two spoiled breadths on my hands.

But all Brody wanted to do is rattle your cages. It make some fun because the name rhymes, and I like it as a show.

You didn't get to rattle my cages because I think it's cute.

Yeah, I think I think like it's a showbiz name like ends crissns.

So now you got my god, you're so funny.

But now you got your answer, Brody, you got your answer. This is why she wanted to do it, and that this is really well.

I think it's my children are so unique that they needed unique names, and Portia Porsia I tried to make as unique as possible. I think there's only one other person that's in showbiz that actually has her name spelled that way because she is not by the way, Portilla Portillo was not having that whole po r t I A and Shakespeare and blah. No, right, she's badass. She's p O R s h A. That's it done. And her middle name is badass too.

Uh.

Her middle names.

Lexus uh Chase, chase with a chase with chase with a C or an essence at the end, with a stuff very it's well thought out c h A s C no idea.

How thought out this stuff is? This is like so thought out, it's.

Like it spelled. Our kids are in a position. You pronounced it chase. What is it c ch a C He's he's being a ball asking a serious questions. It's spelled c ch a c chess chack. But you pronounce it chase.

You know you mean because the Jack and Jada no.

Okay, right after this, we're gonna drop the bombshell on the original, the real reason why I'm calling you today.

Hold on a second, I never even told you. I'm just for the hell of it, just to bury him, scary. Can I just have one more story?

Well, I know we're coming right back with you, but yeah, what did you want to say?

There? Ready? Why Jack is Jakey? I'm gonna tell you why.

Okay, My father, who was into cars, okay, had gotten himself some major sports car when he was, like I don't know, just getting out of college or something. And the story when that he wanted to put his name on the license plate and so instead of putting his name on the license plate, to put.

His initials, jac and all his.

Friends started calling him Jake, and so he got the nickname Jake.

And because it was on a car, it also goes.

With my badass story of my badass kids with their badass names and cars. And so therefore my son is not called his grandpa's first name, but yet his initials, which will ride on forever and also have a story of a car involved with it.

The ends case closed.

So just to just to recap, now, your son's name is Jake j A. C. Because your father's friends can't read pretty.

Much, okay, pretty much. I love her.

Pretty much, but made a great story for my kids.

It's terrific and no, listen you, the whole theme is just it's awesome. I have no theme for my three kids. So I love that you have a son. She has a vision. She had a vision, she knew, and she knew. She was hoping for that boy so she could name him.

I ended up with a girl and a boy.

Forget it.

How great is that? Would have had to change my whole.

Thing, right, the whole thing your other daughter, Za can I can I tell you I would have We would have called.

You ten minutes earlier.

Scary.

And I have a friend.

When we come back from break, I'll tell you about the friend that we both have who is named after a car.

Also, absolutely you think of it, yes, exactly right after that, it's the boys podcast. Man, we struck a chord. And not only that, we still haven't gotten to the reason why we're calling.

Yeah, so let me just the Bombshow we have a friend was named after an old volkswagon. That's a that's it's considered like one of an iconic car. But it's not like a Ferrari iconic. It was like a unique looking car they don't make anymore, called the Carmen Gia. And our friend's father named her Gia after the Carmen Gia. So she has to spend her life explaining why her name is Gia.

That's just not a good story about it, though. I mean, I gotta talk to this guy like.

You've got a much better story. You definitely do, all right, So I thought I thought she had a decent story, but next to yours, she needs a better story. You're one hundred percent right.

No, I mean a Gia, a Gea.

They're gonna like either rule the world or be movie stars. I'm not sure you.

Don't have to explain it. He had a Kia and her name was Kea.

Oh my god, that's horrible.

Yeah, how you know it's a big responsibility naming your children.

Scared?

Well, can I tell you my kids? We were going to name our first kid. We had to know because when you're Jewish, you usually name somebody with the first same first letter as a deceased relative. Right, we don't do the juniors thing and the third and the fourth.

No, no, no, no, no, So we had a name gathering. By the way, you celebrate everything, you have some party about it too, right.

Yeah, we have yeah, baby naming ceremony.

Relative No, the baby named ceremony. That's it. When does that happen?

It's not really a thing.

You just you go to the temple, you tell them your name that they do it like they do like a prayer, and they give you a certificate. It's not like a christening or a it's not like. It's not as fancy anyway. We were just hang on girl names and boy names with the letter J. And my wife at the time this is, by the way, this is nineteen ninety nine, right, two thousand, my wife wanted to name our oldest if she was a girl, which ended up being wanted to name her Jordan. And at the

And on uh, what's that Big House? What's the House?

Show on CBS? Big Brother, No, Big Brother, the Big Brother House. The girl on the show was named Jordan and.

She was a stripper. So I said, look to my wife, folks too, Jordan's I know the boat strippers. Sheaus, all right, we won't name her Jordan. But now, Jordan's a cool name. But at the time, I didn't want my daughter to have a stripper name, not this anywhere own stripping. But we're like, it's an bad omen. Too many strippers?

Are you serious?

But you know, but that was only but that's ephemeral. It was there for that moment, see you just you could just shook it off and been like, you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna name her. I'm gonna name her. We want to name her. Who cares about the stripper?

What's the daughter's name?

That's something Jay, that is enjoyed. Okay, now listen, all right, all right, here we go. Let's go with the bombs show secret I'll tell you later privately. And it's a whole thing. I keep my kids out of my life. So I was doing the podcast with Share and we were hanging out. We're talking and we were just you know, catching up on life as you do, as we always do. And the next thing, you know, she introduces me to baby Enzo Cassenza and and and Porsche was there, her daughter,

NOO's perfect?

Okay, then it's not serious. Perfect, And all of a sudden, her daughter Porsche, her daughter Porsche reveals this huge surprise and says, uncle Scary, will you will you be the godfather? And no, yes, that's awesome. Is it awesome?

Though?

Is it awesome? It's it's okay. I read that on the no offense. Now, hold on a second. I don't want to offend your share. But my initial my initial reaction was, oh my god. I was like, I had my my face palmed.

But in it if you saw his face when we said it, it was just perfect.

It was yes here and shock. There's a lot of responsibility in being a godparent of a child. Okay, Cheryl, let me let me take all the things. I know you love Scary. I know you love him, and he is a wonderful person. He's never done any unfair life human being. He is a very good human being. So I understand completely why you chose him. I said yes. I said yes. By the way, yes, good, Okay, some things you need to scary he is getting get on my knees, but oh hello, hello, No, I mean.

To ask okay, like you really want him to be here.

I haven't anyway, So some things you need to know. I got questions.

All I thought of, No, you don't understand the whole time. Wait, I got to tell you this. The whole time.

I was thinking about how we were going to ask, and we were like we pulled up a sign and Course is like, I don't know, and I'm like okay, And then I'm like, maybe I should make it like will you you know, like really cute, like an engagement type thing. And I'm like yeah, but I can't go on my knees at the podcast because then I'll be out of frame.

So I'm like, how do we do this?

And we were talking about all this stuff and imagine me doing this Bertie with my five year old. She's like totally a goofball. So she's just like adding to this and I'm like, oh, finally, forget it. We're just gonna ask him together. So that's what I meant by getting on my knees, Buddy, I got you.

There's a couple of things you need to know.

First of all, skin And we've talked about this many times on the podcast and on the Morning show. The only thing scary ever asks about kids When someone says, oh, I a new kid. He was he doesn't know anything yet, Scary, what's your one question?

They are? They are? They are? They coloquy? That's it? But you asked because I don't have any relatable I got nothing. I got nothing. I have nothing in common with inc I don't know. I don't think I did that. He doesn't know what else to ask. He doesn't he doesn't know about.

Do you understand? Do you understand what a cool godfather that is?

That he's just like this awesome guy who has nothing to add.

To this at all, which is so cool because he's just going to grow with the kid and learn.

And now he's got a godson who is badass already.

I got questions he gets to like see the kid grow.

First of all, first of all, ask your questions. I got the new questions. First of all, why me wasn't there anybody better or cooler or closer to you? I know you have relatives that are that are guys.

I can't believe why why relatives? That's coming out in my head. I can't even Okay, it's a big Italian family.

That I'm going to be standing up there, and you got people ten thousand times closer to you and your family than me, and I'm going to be the guy up there.

Nope.

So then to answer the question, answer the question.

Okay, my phone rang, my phone rang twice yesterday and I didn't get to it in time.

That wasn't you calling to ask me first? Right?

Well? Actually no, So why listen? You are a close second, Brodie.

I'm sure. I'm sure now you are aware. Wait, answer the question.

Really wants to know why?

I need to know why.

I really want to know. Do you want me to bring Scott in for this one? Or are you good if I just answer?

Just answer it because we got to move and and and then I have a second.

Question, because here you are the absolute best uncle ever. You absolutely are such a good friend to me. We have been so close for so long, and there would be nothing more than I'd want my son to see than a wonderful person who works his ass off, has a great outitude about family, and is the most loving person.

So there, you really want to know why that's right, And I think it's pretty cool. Okay, but you know, and wait, one more thing.

I think you actually could teach him a little bit about being Italian if you really dig into your little Brooklyn.

Roots over there.

Because I I don't know what Brooklyn Italians like. I only know what like Westchester Italians like. I think it's a different.

It's just the accent. I mean, it's all the same customs. But I will say it's a attitude. But I'll say this, and then my next question is to what extent of a role do I need to play in the child's life?

In pretty much Yeah, scary, it's all about you.

Yeah, the kid needs a kidney, scary, you got to give it up.

But like you, guys, anything, you better, Scary. The kid's gonna want a Ferrari for sixteenth birthday too.

No, but you're not hearing me out, fer That's right. It sounds like you're saddling me with a kid in the event that you guys pass. Okay, you're not getting left the kid Scary, But I heard that that's what happens with the god Parents. Is you You know that when Scary Scary dropped greg T's kid off of bed, right.

I've heard lots of stories about all of you.

You know, he crushed it in the Bahamas. Am I going to sign a document? I got, I gotta sign a contract that looks like, so what what what the print?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure yet what I'm gonna make you sign. We'll figure it out. What is the answer on this podcast?

I need to know what the fine print is going to say because you need to get him into a restaurant. That's what to get into.

I have listen, you already accepted that, so there's no vaccies on this whole thing.

The thing is is that at this point.

You're you're officially stepped into the role as Godfather, and yes, the tradition was was that you know that that those people stepped in if something happens. But I do understand, Scary, that you're not really in the parental spot yet in your life, and that I don't know if that's where you were going by it.

Yet Scary asked me if he could rename the title to God. And I don't want to commit to anything. I can't even keep a plant alive. I went to home depot and I picked up a little mini cactus. No, a cactus which doesn't even need water, and I fucking drowned the thing and now it turned brown and it died a mini caccus. Hand to God, this thing is is frigging dead over here. Because I might be like, I'm like, you were supposed to sit there and just

Okay, if it means anything to you, I can't keep plants alive, EI though, Okay, but I kept my kids alive.

All right.

Listen, kids aren't like plants. And the other thing is is that it's gonna have a very different, you know type of meaning right now. But the truth of the matter is is.

That you are the official godfather, So that does come with some responsibility, Scary, I mean, you know, it comes with responsibility. It comes with you know, Porscha, what do we always joke around and say, what.

Do we say to Daddy all the time? What do we say? Money? Money? My money, money?

Cash? It comes with cash. See, Brody, I have a question, share you have You have two kids, right, I assume Porsia has a godfather.

Porsia does have a godfather.

I assume he will be a better godfather than Scary. No, not Scary. We don't know what was the reaction of the other godfather when you told them they were going to be the godfather?

Oh my god, this is amazing. What do I have to do right now?

Now? Scary's reaction to the same How would you describe Scary's reaction?

Almost the same reaction, except for he had a lot more uh uh uh and he was very very shocked and he's still scared now, which I love. In fact, this phone call, let me say something, This phone call makes my day because now I know that I did exactly what I wanted to by asking Scary Jones to be.

My child's godfather.

This was exactly the reaction I wanted, exactly what I wanted him to feel.

I got to say, talk about this on the radio tomorrow too. I'm a godfather. See the other guy, the other godfather father? The other godfather doesn't come with a story. Scary comes with a story and a career and a and and and and fame and Instagram. It was a smart move on.

Your This is a this is a huge this is a huge thing.

Well you don't know who the other godfather is though?

Okay, well it's is he somebody famous?

I don't know if I'm allowed to disclose.

Oh sounds like leave the gun take the canoli kind of guy. All right, thanks for your time Today's share. I love you, I.

Say, because you are amazing.

We love you and I couldn't have asked for anybody better to have.

Well, don't expect Scary to teach your kid geography because he doesn't know the first thing about it.

You're a sweetheart, Thank you. Oh no, I know my geography. I'm gonna take him. I'm gonna take him to the Netherlands.

You watch you be taking him to like bar A and like, that's.

Right, bar A, bar Amsterdam.

We'll talk right, love, is that what it's called?

No, that's an inside joke. We'll talk later. Bye, love you, Bye guy, Bye Scary and Rode. Oh my god, it's gonna take me days to recover from that news. It still Hasn't you have child responsibilities?

I know.

I wouldn't even make you godfather for one of my dogs. Not that you're not a good person, you know, it just makes you nervous. Well, maybe even more nervous. Is the first person I called was my girlfriend and I say, hey, guess what, I'm gonna be a god. I'm the godfather and shares kid and she laughed and then she goes, you do realize that if they die, he becomes yours? Right, That's like, that's not that's not how Mike what, That's not how it works. It's not the same thing, all right.

I will listen, you have to write a whole thing up that if you die, who gets the kid? It's not the godfather of the guidance.

Okay, I'm like, it's just it's a big responsibility. I've never I've never been the father to anything. You gotta be a You gotta be a role model god, a source of inspiration, a font of knowledge, a font of money, communion suits and whatever else you guys do anyway, So all right, so I got that from here.

I want to hear about your trip, and I want to talk about who you didn't take on your trip. But I said to you, I was going to make a jingle like, oh what it's scary learned jingle so we could set up this segment.

Right.

So, not working for the radio company anymore, I don't have access to parody singers. No, right, I have to like, you have to submit the request and you have to ask for this.

It's a whole pin in the balls, like where you haven't been in the country when Brody, when Brody used to be at the station, he would just send an email. They would talk. He would Now it's like he's got to go through this. No, I don't do anything well. I make I do it right. But in this case, Brody was short on time. I was short on time. There was no way I was getting the jingle singers in. I was on vacation. So what did you do well?

I wrote some jingles for this, and then I thought I'm gonna use technology, and I got an AI website to take my lyrics. I put in the musical styles I wanted, and I created five different jingles for Scary's trip. So the lyrics are the same in each one, but I want you to listen to them and listen to what AI did.

Hey, I created the music. I told her where to put the verses, where to put the choruses. I had to do some work, but playing him one through five, I played the first one the first. This is in the style of Abba, because I thought, you know, Abbas from is Swedish, and you thought you were going to Sweden in the part of the Netherlands.

So I hope all the lyrics are clear. If they're not, I'll tell you what she's saying. But this is all computer generated from my lyrics on my input.

What the scam about the Netherlands is never bet And then he was all the seed and he thought he.

Was a scene.

And when he was the Netherlands, he went to the house.

And then Frank in the Redland this year you broke the band. He went to thinking he was not the Netherlens Denmark is not as closure as he thought it wasn't another Less, it wasn't.

He wasn't Netherless, it wasn't Norway. Then it wasn't.

We're going to the netherlans the sunny most not.

But that sounds like some eighties keyboard cassio chi. That's what we put in. I put in an abbas, so they gave me like an abba sound that I put it. Let's let's let's reiterate and be clear again. You wrote lyrics to this on a page and select the stylings and whatever? Did you write the lyrics word for word? Yes, okay? And then they and then they just picked music and singers and sang your lyrics. Well not, there's no they the computer. I put in verse one, verse two, chorus,

Is he now a bets and man?

She was always he?

He thought he was his Sweden body was lelens. He went a fan Frank in the Red district. He broke the bag.

What he went there thinking he was smart?

The Netherlands Denmark, he's not as he got it.

They take themselves way too seriously. Okay, go to the next one. Okay, what what styling is this? Alternate europop? And a'll do grunge? Okay, oh my god?

What did here learn about the Netherlands? Is he now a betterment? He was always eaten? He probably wasn't making but it was never less.

What the hell is He went.

To the house of fans Frank in the Red Light district. He broke the bank.

He went there thinking he was smart.

But the Netherlands at Denmark, he's not a culture all.

Right, all right, all right, we get the picture. No, but wait a second, these are this is not based on a specific woman's voice. That they didn't didn't rip a woman's voice. And you know, like, how did they come up with that voice? It doesn't sound like a computer. But because it's AI. When I told it I wanted europop, they took a typical europop sound and I did grunge. Listen when that sounds like we're grunge.

Scary about the Netherlands, he was always he was in Sweden.

Body was ned. He went to the house. Brody's never gonna He's never gonna leave his house again, David bebody, He's just gonna be sit home writing fucking jingles and punching him dude, putting them into AI all day.

This for you?

What this is?

Uh?

I get another one. I think this was a Swedish metal but there's another.

Uh.

Yeah, I got play go to the middle here serious, Okay, it's like Alison Chain's almost Oh my god. I mean, the possibilities are endless here, endless and endless. Where was this twenty five years ago? Scary? Where was the internet? Twenty five minutes? It was rhetoric? Rhetorical? Everything is everything right now? So how about that? How about that? I got jingle? I got you jingles anytime I want now, boom boom boom boom. Now I can't do parodies. It's

I do.

I do like the electric the electro pop one.

I like that.

Yeah, yeah, that's my favorite one. I mean, yeah, where do I begin? I went to I went to Marbella, Spain first, right, Yeah, not the neother one like bathing suit? Yeah about that?

Yeah, tell us that story, because it looked like you bought a knockoff, which you never do, you boogie best, well it was.

Montclair is a very famous brand from France, and it costs. It costs crazy money, like five six, seven hundred dollars for like a babby suit. Yeah, so what does it do better?

What is it? What?

It's got a freaking Montclair patch on it. Next thing, you know, I'm sitting there on the launch chair. It's status. It's status, Brodie. As as that girl from the Bricklyman Bronx said, I'm a braggart, you know, I gotta be a how was its status to got a bag? I got a brag? Okay, all right, all right, dude, I'm

You're not going to tell anyone they're fake, right, right, Okay, Let's say you're in the South of France and you're in a store and there's the same pair. You understand it is pointless to spend five hundred dollars for the exact same bathing suit minus the agletz you give it twenty five dollars.

That's what the That's what most of the people on Instagram were telling me. They were like, it's stupid to even think about paying the five hundred.

If you buy a knockoff Rolex, I could see it maybe not telling time as well, or not having their like the diamonds on it.

But so there's a slight difference. It's still gonna tell you the time. If you buy a knockoff Gucci bag, it's gonna look like a Gucci bag. Yeah, maybe if you can like feel it a slight difference. And I'm not saying ripoff designers. I'm not a fan of ripping off the creed. Yeah, because I know people are out there thinking about that right now, saying like, what are you what are you doing here? You're supporting the black market. Hey, nobody said what the guy look like? Dude? Please, I'm

What I'm getting into. What I'm getting into is you're you're paying five hundred dollars for a bathing suit that's going to cover your balls when you go on a pool, and that's that's the purpose.

I was.

I was wondering if it was going to disintegrate when I went in the water.

Yeah, yours, this the one you bought, probably wouldn't cover your balls because you bought a kid small.

Yeah, it was. It was definitely here. Everything was off about this. I again, I will say, you're right, I probably should rethink buying real ones versus fake ones in anything going forward. Yeah, because I price right. I have a billionaire, a multimillionaire. Then to you five hundred dollars for a bathing suit is like, no, shut up, dick, I will say, I talking about it. I said, if you're a millionaire, what's it doing you? I do you you call me a millionaire?

No?

I said, if someone's a millionaire, a five hundreds a bathing suit is like nothing. I'll take your apology.

Now anyway, not apologizing to the r S. All right, I have it. I went to France and I saved twelve hundred dollars off of a Montclair jacket. I bought an authentic Montclair jacket in France. Now's the scary. I know, that's the scary. Everyone, Well, this was This was like a couple of years ago, and now that I think about it, if I'm being honest, if I would have gotten that same jacket that was a fake with just the Montclair patch on it, I don't think anybody would

Is that the long one, the long puffy one not puffy, no, and but it's got it's long though, right, it's on your knees no, No.

It's a jacket. It's it's just a springtime windbreaker jacket. It's maroon. Thinking of you, I liked it. I liked the color, it was unique. And the fact that I knew that I was getting all the tax, I wasn't paying tax and I was. It's a good deal. Then, yeah, because that same jacket in America a year later was eight hundred dollars more. I believe something like that. Some stupids.

No.

My point is it's what it's famous for. You do the famous thing. Regardless, I'm not saying you actually a bibe in I'm not saying you're going you're walking into these rooms with these women and having prostitute and the Statue of liberty. In this case, the statue Liberty will be naked. It's a tourist thing. It's just it's sight to see. You gotta go to the red light district.

There's naked people all over the and you have sex in the windows of storefronts.

I waited till the last night, and I said to my friends, you pussies. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa wa No, oh wait, bad, bad choice of words. I said, what you're talking to the people? I said, what is your hang up about not walking through the red light district for fifteen minutes? Humor me. We're gonna take an uber there. I'll pay for the damn uber. We'll all go in the uber. We'll walk through the back and forth through

It's like it's like Chinatown in New York, except the Chinese food's naked.

Yeah, you just have to see it. You have to experience it once. Will I go back there again, Probably not, but I would go back to Amsterdam though. It's one of the most beautiful cities I've ever been to. It was, it's gorgeous, lots of canals. Here's what I learned in the Netherlands. There's more canals in Amsterdam than there are in Venice. That's correct, all right. Eighty percent of all people in the Netherlands.

Own a bicycle, own a bicycle, and they and they ride like maniacs in and out of the cars. And all the cars are like smart cars as small, so the parking spaces are ridiculously tiny. These bike You can't own a Dodge Charger in Amsterdam. No, kates aren't wide enough, these bike spaces aren't big enough.

Brody. The people think all right, they all right, Brody just said the bikers whatever up and no, no, no, you have to understand slices, streams of biker traffic. They don't let up. You can't cross the street because there's so much. And again it's not one, and then another three, and then it's people. It's everybody, everybody. It's bike bike bike, bike, bike, bike bike stream and they will fucking run you over.

Of the bikes that's right on, They ride right alongside you, they cut you off.

They don't like how is it that? How is it that there's not more bike accidents every day. Harry Jones is the guy that hates bike lanes in New York City and went to the biking capital of the world. Oh my god, it was.

Where everybody every because it's a very environmentally friendly city, so there's very few cars. It's it's all and you can walk everywhere. It's it's just it's a small city compared to New York. I don't know where you guys live, slices. You may be in a small city. It's not a big city. But you can walk around, but you really have to like look both ways because the bikes are like, take.

Your feet off. They own the road. They like Italy where it's all vespas. So it's a bike. So it was fun. It was a good time there. It has a great food. My friends did all the all the food hunting. I was just sat there and I enjoyed all of it. And uh and then I went to, oh, the Vincent van Go Museum. Did you know what?

Hi?

Ah, that's a cut off your ear joke, ladies, Joe, thank you everybody yet, but Brody, I traveled all the way. You've got to go to van Go. That's what they say, Van Vincent van Go Museum. You know, my favorite painting of all time, Starry Night is the only one?

You know?

Well, no, is that the only one? Sunflowers? Okay, but hal's again no, no, you ready for the plot twist? Yeah. I go all the way to Amsterdam to the Vincent van Go Museum, and I'm like, oh, gotta see Starry Night. Wait, what do you mean Storry Night is not inside the Vincent van Go Museum, David Brody, do you know where Storry Night is?

I do.

It's a museum of modern art in New York City. I had no idea. But could you imagine, dude, you would be the motherfucker trying to get your money back. What do you mean Story Night's not here? No, I wouldn't because I would have known them before. I researched my trip.

Listen, when I go away, especially with my wife, she researches everything.

There is nothing left a chance. She has restaurants, we're going to, street tours were going to. We don't wing anything. How is a museum called the Vincent Vang Museum. How does it not have its most popular painting? So the second most popular painting, Saw the Flowers, was in there. Okay, great, nice, It was all right. It was cool.

Because paintings go on loan, they go on tour, people buy them and donate them to the museum.

It's permanently at the moment in New York City, Yes, because somebody decided to put it there. But it's not like Van Gold gave it to them. Van went to New York City. So yeah, I love that you. Uh yeah, And I learned about he went fucking crazy. He was admitted to an insane asylum. Yeah, because he was a nut job. He cut off his own ear. He got into a fight with Paul Gogan, the other painter staying

That far in.

I didn't know that you actually get to physically walk through it. But yeah, they had to remain silent like all day because there were people working in that house in that area, and I don't know how Neils pulled it off. We got the bonus VIP VIP tour where they said, we usually don't we usually don't show Otto's office the father, but that's not really part of the tour.

You know what's great is that house used to be one of like a whole street full of old houses. But now it's like it's it's right on the water.

Yeah.

And how about that. Did you see the Chinese restaurant? No, the giant Chinese restaurant on the water.

No, I didn't see that. Oh yeah, huge.

But they they stuck a museum on the side of it, so you go in like this modern building that leads you into what's.

Left of the house. Amazing what they did. I'm glad you got to go. And the other thing I learned in Holland or sorry, in Amsterdam is that, yes, it is the Netherlands. Okay, I learned their flag. It's it's like the French flag, but sideways. That's what you learned. What else did I learned? An area? An area, yes, yes, yes? And weedon in Norway this Scandinavia, yes, yes, everything everything, everything very good? All right. When we come back, we got to talk about tipping the.

Glen Boys podcast.

We will be right back.

I love how you're just gonna let me skirt by the fact that my girlfriend wasn't on this trip. Oh I was gonna save that. But so I'm watching Scary's trip and I'm seeing all these great places he's going to. Now, I went to Amstamp my wife, and I gotta tell you, being with your with my wife made the trip completely different because there's there's no one in the world I would rather have been with than than my wife. Right, you had to text me and ruin my vacation. The beauty of the of the city.

I mean, even the red light district was We had fun walking together as a couple, but like, it's such a beautiful romantic We took canal rides, like if I went with Scary or my boys, like, it wouldn't have been the same. And this whole time, I'm thinking, boy, you know, Scary is not the romantic type, but it's hard to not be romantic in this city.

But you know, it's his boys. It's this week away with the boys. I get it. And then he puts up in addition to all his sight seeing stuff. Oh happy birthday, Robin Scary Jones went away with his boys during his girlfriend's birthday. Okay, O the fuck? Okay, I'm you know. So he texted me, what would you go? Text me? He goes, you left Robin on her birthday podcast podcast. Oh my great, can't wait to hear this on the fucking podcast. The very brief backstory. And I know, God,

No?

No, no, we're going to celebrate, you know, we're going to celebrate her birthday and I'm going to get her a gift and we're gonna do it the right way. We're gonna do it. Why would you bring it back from Medlins. I'm just curious. What should I have brought her back. I didn't bring her back anything. So she got the story where your friend Jason girlfriend talked her out of wanting a souvenir. No you know that too. No, you know something. You didn't see one thing that said

You go and buy her a piece of jewelry with like a diamond tulip or something that's Holland like Holland escort, something that says Amsterdam.

Remark, so that you could go, honey, I couldn't. All I did was think about you while I was gone. I had a good time with the boys, but I was thinking to you. So I got you this picture of a naked lady in a store. Something I fucked up. It's not exactly a very romantic thing. You know that I gave her something. I went on trips.

I always brought my wife's jewelry. If I could or something. I was like, Hey, listen, I went to the Bahamas. They sell turquoise. I got you his turquoise ring.

You got nothing you didn't get her, like wooden shoes, like something that I make it up to her inother ways. I show my love in other ways I'm not. I'm not big on buying souvenirs on vacation either. You buy her something that says I was thinking about you. I couldn't help but think about you while I was on a beach buying a bootleg bathing suit. God, you got to teach me how to be in a relationship, David Brother.

Uh, I wrote a song because we were talking about I don't want to play the song yet. I wrote a song about the tipping culture we have in this country. I thought of it when I told you I went to the rock concert and the and the multi millionaire guitar player's son wanted me to tip him for handing me his shirt.

Right, they turned that screen around.

But then before I could play it on this podcast, my friend told me about a restaurant he went to in Miami.

Scary to have the receipt. I sent you a text message with the receipt. Yes, I see the receipt right now. Okay, I pulled it up. Okay, restaurant, I want you to I don't know the name of the restaurants. I've not gotten the name yet, but on the receipt, if you look, he had sweet potato fries and h you got a glacier lagger and a burger and you know, sometimes they put in like if you're a party of five or more, it'll say like eighteen percent c or twity added to

Yes, they said, the kitchen staff that prepared your order. That's their tip, and it left the spot for him to tip the waitress.

Now wait a minute, so the waitress gets your tips. Wait, the waitress doesn't share the tips with everybody else.

When you are a waitress, depending on the restaurant, you tip out the bartender, the bus boy, but you you don't. You rarely tip out the cooks unless they did you a favor, like if they did a fast remake for you because you messed up the order and they get you a remake right away, you might give them a little something. Hey, thanks for hooking me up. Make sure I got you know, got the food out quickly. But look, I've no offense to anyone who slices if you work

You you get minimum wage at least, right, yeah, you get you get whatever the minimum wages in your state minimum that's why they call minimum wage. You're making eleven twelve fifteen dollars an hour. Whatever. Well, again, your state could be different. But if you're a waitress, you make like two bucks an hour and you live off of tips? Do this place has decided, whether you like it or not, you are paying a two point five percent kitchen appreciation tip,

A tip for what?

A tip for what?

Yeah?

Exactly, I was going for?

What?

Got it?

Go?

What's different? You just di what you just did?

What for? What?

No?

Get another course? All right? This is uh a little weight lengthy here tip for what you really did? You really need that? You checked the square? Very angry, very angry for what you've got?

No?

Okay, bo my goodness, A tip for what? A tip for?

What?

A tip for what? I do feel bad for the kitchen staff, though as a as a person you got to see both sides of it. Yeah, in the kitchen when I was a waiter, no, I would sometimes cop a tip and we didn't share. We shared with each other. We pulled it. But then the people in the kitchen, they got squat because because they because they're getting paid a full salary, well are they? Though they usually be the ones being taken advantage of it, and they usually get paid the least there rener cent.

They should get paid more money in most places, but the waitress gets paid two thirty cents or three do whatever the minimum wages for waitresses.

Let me see what it is now, Hold on what I do think is happening here in this Pacific restaurant, And I do think that they pay them so low that it's embarrassing in the kitchen, and you are footing the bill for the rest of their salary to compensate to make something decent. I don't know, Brodie, this is this is really mind boggling. So anyway, all right, but imagine that never heard of it, all right, kitchen appreciation. We're running so late today.

All right, well, I want to just if I could take take a minute. I want to talk about what I did and I need your opinion on something that happened afterwards.

Okay, go for it.

So I told you on the on Slice time that I went. I went out with my cousin and we were spotted at car Mines and someone said, oh, I tell you what your wife, But it wasn't my wife was my cousin. So we went to car Mines and you know, Glenn, Glenn's the best. Glenn is uh, the big the big poo bah, He's the best. He runs car Mines, Love Virgil Love Glenn. He runs multiple locations around the world of car Mines. Anyway, he sits down.

With us, the two of us at the table, and the waitress comes over and says, oh, I've ever been here before. So Glenn laughs.

I'm like, yeah, I've been coming here for like twenty five years. So she says, oh, I let me take what the specials are, and my cousin says, oh, I'll have that. That sounds great. I'll have the chicken special. There's only two of us, so I say I'd like the chicken palm please, she says to me, scary me, palm pockets. She says, you know it's it's six pieces of chicken.

It's really big.

Well like that was supposed to scare you. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, that that's why I come here. That coming here for twenty five years. I have to have the chicken palm.

Just it's a lot of food for the table. I take it to go. I ordered the big clams.

I can't go to without getting the bag clams, the best fucking big clams on the planet. And she's like, you realize it's like a whole plate of check. I go, yes, I understand. And Glenn's laughing his ass off. He says, Door, you don't understand. He would live here if he could live here. In fact, he said to me, you should work here. I go, what, because, yeah, you should work here.

You know the food, you know, the the breast.

I go, question, I gain I gain one hundred pounds a week. Anyway, So we go to the Broadway show. We went to see Appropriate, which is a relatively new show on Broadway. You know, Sarah Paulson is right, of course, in the morning show, a bunch of times. She's the star of the show. She's one of the three kids. It's it's a show about three families who inherit their father's house and everything he owns when he passes away and what they find in the house.

It's fucking hilarious. And Corey Stole is in it. You know Corey Stole is. He was in House of Cards, he was in Billions, in You Know What, in Aunt Man, he played Yellowjacket in the ant Men movies. He's terrific.

One of the best show as I've seen in a long time. And I think it's only running from the month or two I put up on Instagram. But definitely go see appropriate on Broadway. Yeah, I doesn't tell you anything right about the show. While we're talking about Broadway shows, I went to see one last night.

I went to see Hell's Kitchen. The show Basket Alicia Keys is life loosely based excellent, excellent show. And the girl who plays Alicia, what a set of chops on her pipes? Pipes pipes chops pipe Oh, chop chops is musical chops, Okay, musical chops whatever, But she was so it's basically the music of Alicia Keys and it's you know, it's based in you know, Hell's Kitchen, the neighborhood in New York City where Alicia grew up. And it was

Show.

The highlights for me was the choreography with the dance beautiful. I mean, it was all very set in the late in like the nineties. There's a lot of like nineties style dancing. A lot of reminded me of like the TLC esque days with the what they were wearing, the Fu boo and the Tommy Hill figure, you know, those oversized shirts and stuff. It was really really cool to see that. Actually, so that's that would be like mid nineties, right. And the four or five leads, Oh my god, their

Was she enjoying the show? Is she thinking about how you left her to go to Amsterdam? You are the son of a bitch, Okay, so let me love the show, Robin?

And I said, Robin, why are you crying? And She's like, I don't know when a show is good, it just gets to me, man.

It just you know.

She was all in her feelings good. I had to tell you I didn't cry during appropriate. But there's a couple of scenes that are very funny. But there's a reel at one point involving a kid. That's all I'll say. One of the kids in the show. I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. It was so ridiculously funny. You don't expect it. It was amazing.

The show is fantastic. But I want to tell you about two things. A couple of times during the show.

I heard music.

I heard like, what's the Neil Diamond song Sweet Caroline? Yep, and it sort of fit in with the show. We were sitting on the orchestra, but a little towards the back, and in the back is the exit to the theater right most theaters, so we weren't. We were maybe like, I don't know, sixty to fifty sixty feet from the street, and I've never heard a sound inside of a theater, but I hear I'm here in Sweet Caroline. Then I'm hearing like other eighties songs, which is weird because it

Oh yes, and it's and these days that they're all decked out with you know, like glitch lights and stuff like that. I think the handsome cabs are like the horse and they play loud music, right, so all of them.

What they do is like if you go, like we went to a Harry Styles concert with my daughter, when you come out, they're all playing Harry Styles of course, right, they're trying to appeal to you.

Get in them, get it, get in and take a ride. These particular cab whatever you call them, These these uh, these rides were mimicking the music of the musicals on Broadway, Diamond Musical. So they were playing Neil Diamond, right, but they I was hearing it in the theater and the like I could faintly hear it. Oh okay, So they were blasting lights and it's like sweet Carol, but you can hear from like five blocks that circle. So we, uh, we were parked right across the street at the garage.

So as we're waiting for our car, the cops pull one of them over and they take apart his entire thing and they're measuring the speaker sizes and they're measuring everything.

They're regulated regulated. It's too loud because they were really like probably got their decibel meters out too, Yes, yeah, wow, so I think they got this. One guy got a ticket because he's blasting this Neil Diamond music and attract people to get into his ride. Hilarious, unbelievable jockey for position over there, here's the kicker. What's that? You know? I want to tip the driver in the valet parking in the garage of course, Now, how much do you

So we have to go back to Carmines because we put up, we left all our leftovers and the refrigerator. They do me a favor because you can't bring the leftovers into the Broadway show. So Glenn's like, I'll put the leftovers in the refrigerator. So we walk back to car Mines, which is east of west of Times Square, and the theaters on is east of Times Square. Sure, we cross over Times Score on forty fourth Street, and we get our leftovers. And I say to my cousin,

Yes, it is a nice to car. I got to give him big a tip. But okay, you told Elvis you agree with me. Shut up. Elvis drives in with a fancy call.

I gotta give a bigger tip because it's because damage to the car is more valuable. Anyway, So I'm in Times Square and I said to my cousin, what do you got? Just only have a five? I go, well, I gotta get a change.

No, you don't give him a five. My cousin says, give him the five. I go, I don't want to give a five. Yes, I don't have a job because of him. Three doesn't matter. No, okay, okay, all right, well were regardless. Okay.

So so I'm like, I gotta get changed. So I go up to the ice cream truck and I say, can I how much ice cream? I'm figuring ice creams like three dollars? I got a ten dollar bill in my pocket. He says, uh, it was like it was like seven dollars.

I said. I'm like, I'm on pay spend a seven dollars ice cream? So I go over into the food truck. I go, hey, how much for how much for the soda? They go four bucks? Are you four bucks for a soda?

For a can?

You can make the change. Now it's a dollar. You get get a good dollar? Fine, So I can't I get a dollar. I can't even get change for the five There was nothing in Time Square. So finally we walked out.

We walked onto the block and there's another another, a sou blocky cart, and the guy's got Kansas soda.

I go, how much for the can of soda? He says? Two fifty? I go, I'll take it.

So I got the can of soda. I got a two fifty cents. I tipped the guy two fifty at the garage.

I'd have change. You didn't need change. It was five bucks. You give him five bucks. I've never given five bucks to a back slices. This is my friend, David Brody. Thank you. He will run himself ragged through Times Square and have to get something out of the damn deal. So he gets his soda. Yeah, just to chip tip them less, when all he could have done was save himself the time and the energy and hand the guy the five dollar bill. Make his night and drive off

Boys?

Broclus, Broclyd Poys, Broclu,