Start Up, dot Up, Start Up, Brooklyn Boy, Start Up, Brooklyn Boy, start up Up. They making noise, dot Up, start Up, dot Up, Episode two eighty four.
It's the Brooklyn Boys Podcast.
This is a big episode with a starring Hove, Brody and Scary, Scary and Brody. Okay, I am so excited for this episode. Scary coming off coming off the last episode of Slice Time.
Yeah, which was for two eighty three.
Uh huh uh, I just I'm beside myself with excitement. Why is that Brody? Because so many people brought it up, and I know you're a man of the people and you're gonna deliver. Today is the day you brought all the jingles home. We have all, we have everything, we have the full package. Today is the day. I'm so excited listening all the celebrity IDs. Today's go ahead. We're gonna play it. We're gonna play him coming up now. Let's wait. Oh yeah, oh, let's wait later in the podcast.
Later in the podcast, I will play the jingles that I brought home. Okay, Oh, I cannot wait. Let's just get the show underway.
So much promising, good.
Finally I'm going to be delivering on that today.
All right, Oh I can't wait.
So thank you for the slices and slice time. By the way, I didn't tell you I was going to do that, So I'm glad you actually have them, because I kind of just sprung it on you, figuring you didn't have them. I'm actually surprised, as excited as I am. You came through scary for the people. All right, very good?
Crazy did you have you ever have you ever been a.
Have you ever gotten a goodbye gift from someone who didn't make didn't want to make you feel bad? So they felt like, oh, this is the end of our relationship. So oh, you mean like an ax.
I'm buying you?
Well, that's how you would have you would initially think about it, right, So I mean, I'll just take you back way back in the day. I you know, before Robin and a couple of others. I dated this one woman and she was I'm not going to mention any names, but can I ask a question? Can I ask a question now? Will allow me to know who it is?
Did she be? Can I talk about what job?
She doesn't? It doesn't matter, doesn't I just want to know which one? I go ahead, go ahead, I know which one was so so anyway, the point is we were on bed terms. We would we were starting to break itself up. It just wasn't happening. But I felt bad and she needed a new car, so you bought her a car? No, I didn't buy her car, all right.
I in our final month together, it was like I took her, you know, car shopping and what she wanted, and she found what she needed and she was a little short on cash, so I put the down payment down on her car, knowing full well that we were heading toward a breakup. But I felt like this would soften the blow a little bit because I was going to be the one doing the breaking up, and I did softening the blow. Should have been her farewell gift,
hio hyo. So she basically, you know, you know, I didn't feel as bad breaking up with her because that was like a you know, some of our departing contestants will receive and it's like they show you all the losers and what they get. It's like almost like here's a gift goodbye. It's almost like two thousand dollars for
a Honda, a Cord, you know whatever. It was. Yeah, that so you know, and like you know how like in the world of baseball, right, Derek Jeter legend, he would I feel like almost like bribe or like you don't talk to a gift gave a gift basket as they were leaving his apartment. Yes, he would be like a sign baseball, like a goodie bag.
Like a swag bag.
Yeah, thanks for sucking me hands a bag of shit after Yeah, right exactly, like hey, you know, let's hook up or whatever. And but you had a if if it's the person he was thinking of, you had a long term relationship with this person. Yeah, And I vaguely remember this cost situation because I remember we we ripped you for it off the air.
I don't know if it was ever.
On the I don't think we ever talked about it on the podcast. But yeah, I've been guilty if I did that. I gave a It was not even guilty. It's more like I felt like I wanted to give a goodbye gift. It's making me a.
Good bye gift.
You buy, you buy like a I don't know, a small trinket, a ring that says this was a think of but who wants to be like thinking of a relationship that ended poorly. But the thing is, that's exactly what the gift does. That's where it comes into play. Because you've now been now, you don't remember how poorly the relationship ended. You only remember the last nice gesture that the guy made for her. What if she's banging the next guy in that car? She'd been like, I'm
banging the next guy. My last guy paid for the wheels or the seats. As long as I thought of fondly, I did the breaking up. I don't care bang who you want. We're done. You don't care, but she's not thinking of you like uh like I remember I okay, I remember. She's not pissed me for breaking up. Yeah, because you bought her a part of a car that seems like a car. Oh you had to do was cheat on her, and then she'd gladly break up with you.
No.
See, that's ridiculous. There's no reason for that ship.
Well, you'd at least get sex and save yourself a few thousand. Oh no, no, I'm not saying you should. I'm just saying woman's trying to be funny, but I know you are. You could have taken it out a nice dinner I had. I had somebody do that. Well. I took a girl to a really nice dinner one night and then on the walk home she broke up with me. I was like, you could have done it like before dinner. I had that happened to me too with another another girl picked up the tabs. She didn't.
We went for dinner and she broke up with me at dinner. But she planned it the whole time. It wasn't a fight, but she was just like, you know what, this is not going anywhere, and you know what, goodbye. I'm like, wait a second, and I'm like, no, wonder why we went to dinner about a block and a half from her house so she can make us she went, she broke up with you middle of dinner, got up middle of dinner or like before the circle. Yeah, well no,
as we were. She introduced it around main course time and through dessert, and then that was it and then we she got the whole meal out of the deal. She didn't like appetize her out. I know we went dutch that night that yeah, but nice gotta go. I think she actually might have paid for dinner because she felt bad. She paid for dinner for me because she felt bad. That she was breaking up with me. Oh very nice. How much was which was more the dinner
you got bought or what? All right? Okay, maybe fuck her? You's got too much money you got you know? Hey, hey, hey, I'm just saying so listen. So let's fast forward to now, okay, ending the clients and breaking up with me, because if that's the case, I want to a car yet the whole car. The podcast is ending. You better get me a jority. I'm buying you a steak dinner tonight. Yeah, that's not how I want the dinner. Hey, listen. Okay,
so what happened with a client? Client broke up? And you said client broke up with me and sent me a present? It was weird. So I'm not going to go into detail because the client could be back in the future. But I've had a long standing relationship with a client and in December that client went away. So what did they do? The camera to my hat? Who was No, I'm still with Sloman's get it. What did you brought it up? Not me? No, I didn't tell you know, you brought it up, not me. Jingle hit it.
So at the end of December, a client that i'd been with for a while, was going away a long time. In fact, they were cheating on me with another personality. Oh on the on.
The morning show.
No, no, it doesn't matter. It's irrelevant, it doesn't It was someone else somewhere at the station. But the point is, bailed on you. I got you, the client. Two weeks later, in January, I get to my sent to my house, my home address in the mail a handwritten note that said, thank you for all your years that you've been with us, and it's been a long time. I want you to have this. They sent me a nice gift card for their company. Wow, that's nice. That's really nice. I don't
even care who it was. That's really nice. Isn't that great?
Is this the company?
A product that that you can find a way to spend five hundred dollars on my help?
Did I say five hundred?
You did? I said a nice gift card?
Oh, I'm just guessing that five hundred be a nice gift.
It was a nice amount of money.
Let's whatever that was. Do you need my help spending it? You treat me to something?
What you can treat me to? I can't tell you because then you'll know the client but anyway, okay, but we'll just say that, We'll just say that.
Huh. I see what they did there.
They don't want me to they don't want to be me to be pissed because they're cheating on me with another personality and they just all all their endorsements and stuff going to another personality.
But hey, scary, it's been great. Here, here's a gift card.
Isn't that funny? I just I just wow, related to all the times that either I did that to someone or that happened to me. No, they gave you. They gave you a farewell and a farewell gift. But it was sort of like thanks for the sex, gotta go, like leave your money on the table, on the end table for the night table. So huh, that's like your uber ride home. I you, here's a few dollars slices, leave a talk back. If you've ever lived, left a goodbye gift to somebody because she felt bad, or you
put down money on a car for them. I know that sounds bougie and weird, but it was. It was a small down payment, all right. Not ever, your car payment is no money down. Sometimes you put a little bit of money down and she was having trouble at the time financially, and I put a little money down. That's all you did. You put a little money down. Little money down, don't and she financed the rest. I hope, don't hate the player, hate the game. You put a little mind. So let me ask you a question. Did
you ever see her driving that car? Uh?
Yeah, for the last couple of weeks we were together.
Yeah, and after you broke up, you never saw how like scooting around in that car again, going on dates in that car? Never saw her again? Wow? Yeah? Oh good you guys. You guys, I thought I thought like, not like, I just thought like I thought it was going to end better than that it did. You had to buy her car to get out of there. I didn't know see that. That's where that's where you're twisting the story. Okay, when you bought it, when you bought the partial car, you have to put it down payment
on the car, right. I knew at the time we were winding down horr end on hor end didn't she not get more like into it?
Was she more like?
Yeah, he's got she? I think she knew the writing was on the wall for both of us. I was on the dashboard paradise by the dashboard light. Oh not so in your case? No, all right, you went for home. You struck out. I struck out after I liked it, I don tar Yeah, but she got money out of it.
So it's have you ever you ever lost anything or misplaced like a shirt, like an article of clothing, and you know you didn't throw it out, but you're like, I haven't seen this shirt in a long time, and you know you know it's missing, but you can't you trying to retracious steps. Did I take it somewhere? Did I bring it to a hotel? Did I? I can't remember right, so yes, for a number of years now,
I have been looking for a shirt. The last time I saw it that I remember was I went to see Star Wars The Force Awakens, which I believe was twenty seventeen. You don't have to tweet me on Instagram roughly that time. That was the first in the Star Wars trilogy that came after the original had the sequels. And I have a picture of myself with R two D two outside of a movie theater wearing that Star Wars shirt that says a Star Wars Jedi training program
nineteen seventy seven. Yep, can't find it after that? Can't find it? Huh. I remember I wore once to Disney World because you know, Disney on Star Wars. Went to Star Wars line, but I can't find the shirt. So I went on eBay looking to buy the same shirt. Couldn't find it. Doesn't it You can't, It's doesn't it's it's out. I bought it at I bought it at Disney World, so it's like a Disney, you know, Disney proprietary Star Wars shirt.
It's not available anywhere.
Okay. So this was like I don't know, like a number of years ago, but whenever the first Star Wars came out was the last picture I have of it. But I don't remember where it is. So I'm thinking to myself, didn't did it get ruined in the wash? Did my wife hate it and throw it out by accident? Did it get damaged? Did the dogs rip it up and she didn't want me to know and threw it away? Figure I wouldn't remember, And you know, I'm not blaming it her or anybody else. I just like, what did
I do with it? Was? Okay? So it's gone so like a couple of months ago, I was like, fuck it, man, I wanted that shirt for something and I don't have it. Whatever. So you know, I'm in the process of selling a lot of stuff on Facebook Marketplace and I go in the attic, I'm cleaning out my attic and I find suitcases and do you remember this. I'm not going to mention the brand name of the suitcase, but we all got in the Morning Show suitcases.
Yes, I remember. I remember the suitcase right.
I've got two of them. So I'm like, I'm gonna sell those that smaller than what I need. And I they're all dusty and shit, they're not that they've been in good shape in the attic. They're not dusty, but they're in good shape. I only use them a few times whatever. So I'm I'm I'm taking getting ready to take pictures of them for the Facebook. And these the suitcases have like zippered pouches, like three or four zipperate pouches.
So I go, I go to one of them, and I go, you know, before I sell these, I got to make sure there's nothing in them.
You know, who the hell knows what's in them?
You know, they could be tissues or yell Boy napkins. Right, I already know. I already know what's in them.
Yeah. So I open up one and is like, can you see this?
Scary? What this is? Yeah? This is a diet Pepsi bottle that I must have drank at the airport and shoved it in my bag because you can't take it on the plane. So I was like, oh, I go to do this bottle. Right. The bottle is from twenty twenty one, which is three years ago, roughly maybe two and a half years, depending one horse. Right. So I go to the other bag and I see I open up first zipper or second zipper at the top pouch, it's it's padded.
It's the something in there? What the what's in here?
So to myself, I went, can you imagine that in this suitcase? It's been on my attic for I don't know how many years. Is this Star Wars shirt? That can't be? It came to your mind then it was how funny with that big up that can't be?
What's there? It can't be?
So I unzip it and it's a David Wright mets Shirsey, which is a T shirt that looks like a jersey, right, I'm like, oh, all right, well, I don't remember missing this one, but I had like five of them, So yeah, I was about to say it could have been that important to you. You shoved it in the fucking corner pocket of a freaking old noget.
What happened.
What happened was I probably wore I wore uh maybe to the beach, got it wet, and it was part of the last things I drawed on the line.
I threw it in the top.
Get to the part where you found the Star Wars shirt, because I know you found it. Yeah, found it. No, it just reminded me that I still missed that shirt, nod. But was the Star Wars shirt I've been looking for? Of course? So for how many years since this pepsi bottle went in the bag? The other thing you've used, You've used that luggage since, right, because twenty one? So what happened? What?
Yo?
My wife bought me a nice carry on with four wheels, and what year did this go? The shirt go missing around the same time as the around twenty twenty one, I guess, And it all makes sense, which I think is the last time we went to Disney World. But I assume they unpacked everything. So I'm wondering slices. Have you ever lost anything and it turned up many years later in a place You're like, what the fuck is
it doing there? That's what happened to me. I got my stock trying it back that ever, like, uh, it's never really happened. Now you don't have anything set that stack of paper, bondya, that's still there, by the way, last week you bought something from Apple and you put that in front of the stack of paper. There's a computer, yeah, and it's still in front of the stack of paper. Yeah, but the stack of paper is still there. Everything's still there.
Everything's frozen in time because, to be honest, eventually that computer back there is going to be connected to this piece of equipment that I'm talking to you on. Oh, that's going to be some computer you got there. Then the problem is a lot of setting up needs to
be done. So I got to make sure everything's compatible, because the last thing I would have wanted to do was start on that project back there and you know, change everything out, only to realize that it's not connecting properly and I need assistance, and we were not gonna be able to do the podcast, so in order to make sure that we're doing this podcast.
What you're hearing right now just now, that comes on the old computer.
Yeah, and are you going to sell that to a listener as well like you did your road caster. Yeah, I'll put it up for sale right now. It's an iMac and one of the old iMac, one of the twenty seven inch. They don't make twenty seven inch Imax anymore. They only come in twenty three twenty two inches I believe the screen. Have they still called Imax then I called Imax anymore? That's an iMac yes, yeah, oh wow. Yeah.
So I had the twenty seven inch monitor computer thing that I got, but I couldn't get it to turn on because you need to plug an Apple computer into it.
It was just the monitor.
So this is from twenty seventeen, this model. Yeah, and actually, uh, this is the this is the model. This is the computer which I stare at David Brody on every day. This is what we do all my pro tools work. I've edited so many phone so you have pro tools built into that thing. No, you don't get pro tools unfortunately, but you I've done my editing on here this keyboard man. I'll tell you what your keyboard man. Some people will will take this and they'll they'll lick it as a fetish.
You want to lick my keyboard that my fingers on every night, So you get that. And oh and don't forget. This is also the computer that I've edited hundreds of Z one hundred elis to ranchio phone taps on. This is my homework bit. I've done so much on here. I've recorded all my talking people out of buying it. I've recorded my doctor Fat Lost commercials on here. Hit the jingle.
Hit the jingle, your son of a bit?
What do you mean?
Hit it?
No, I'm hit What do I what do I mean? It's only and nobody asked you for that?
Nobody.
Nope, I have to describe to any benefits of this computer. No, nobody's buying it because you could have just said all my my commercials, hit the jingle all the way inappropriate?
When did?
When did you start getting like a stickler? You've You've been slacking. You've been slacking.
Listeners because I can't.
I can't let the slices down there calling me out on every time I missed one. Now I'm on. I'm sitting into my chair going I got I want a button here. I want a red button that I can I can hit the button and it makes the jingle play, or it shocks you. I want to give you electric shock every time you do that. Anyway. Google Silver twenty seven inch iMac from twenty seventeen. It's got an Intel Core process or it's Intil five or whatever. It's a form the form of the I five, whatever it is,
I give you. I give you a hundred bucks for it. One hundred dos for you, buddy, one hundred dollars, one hundred and ten. It's worth a lot more money than that. I'm playing Facebook with you face. Don't do a place. Don't do it. Don't be like, how much do you want for? If I say, if I say I want a thousand dollars for I'll give you two fifty. I'll take it for two fifty. I'll be right there, cash
in hand, all right, cashing hand. I'm coming. Because that's, by the way, that's what the listeners do to you. I'm not sorry, you, not the listeners. That's what the uh your your buyers on Facebook do to you. Hey, shout out, I got a shout out for a new a new listener possibly, and A and A and a customer. So a woman hits me up for something that I was selling last night. Her name is Jenna. I'll say her name because we hit it off when she came to the house. Anyway, Oh, so does your wife No, yeah,
my wife doesn't care. See, that's that's the level of marriage I want to get to. Yeah. No, I want to marry somebody and I want to get to that stage of the marriage. Right.
Well, not at that stage. I'm joking.
No, I didn't hit it off. I hit it off anyway. So currently, and by the way, guys, don't hit me up on Facebook.
You know, I don't use that. I made it clear I don't.
I'll use it for friends and family anyway, you know, a high school friends and whatnot. So my profile picture was our podcast logo, which I'm gonna have to change, but it was up there for a couple of weeks. And you know, and my name is my name. I don't use her fake radio name. It's my name. Sure. So she comes to the house and she meets me on the driveway and she says, I kind of ask you a question first. She sees what, you know, the thing that she's buying. She goes, oh, it's fantastic. My
kid's gonna love it. This is amazing, so excited. So she says, listen, uh, this is gonna sound weird, but are you And I went yeah, and she would, are you you know Scary and Brodie? I went, well, you said the name and the wrong order. If you're at you know, She says, oh, you know what I mean. The logo says Scary and Brodie go yeah, I know, the fucking logo says scary and Brody. She says, that's you, right. Oh my god, I recognize the voice as soon as said hello, now I see you in person, it's ye
Oh my god. I didn't think it was you. I said, if it was it me, who would it be.
I don't know.
A fan could have made a Facebook that religious zealot from Twitter with the same name.
Yeah, so, I said, David Brody the other day.
So I said, so you think somebody created a Facebook page with hundreds of follow of friends and use the logo and use my name and sell stuff on Facebook. It could happen, I said, She's there's crazy people out there. I said, well, she goes, but I checked out your Facebook page and I saw all of you know, you have like a real Facebook page. I said, well, I checked out your Facebook page. Your kid's very cute. She said,
well that's who this is Foy. He's gonna love it. Anyways, I said, so, she says, yeah, I know you're not on the show anymore. I said, well, thank you, because I can't tell you how many people DM one person DM me this week's Gary Brody as well.
You know I love listening to every morning.
Yeah, so I said, they don't. They don't know, I said. I said, that's I appreciate the compliment, but I haven't been on the show in a year and a half. No, I go, so what have you been listening to that You think you've been hearing me every day? Oh?
I don't know.
Maybe the phone taps. I go, they don't play on my phone taps every day. But again, thank you. So this woman knew I haven't been on the show. She's like been what are you doing? Oh she's a diehard fan, big fan, knew I wasn't working her anymore anyway, I said, So this is funny because scary I was on the phone with you when she was outside telling me that I remember that. She said, oh, Brodie Facebook, I can't with you on the podcast, but she's gonna screw you
over what's gonna happen. So I, how did the transaction go now that she knows who you are and what you're trying to I said, it's funny that you said that. I was just on the phone with Scary and he thought something was going to go on where I mentioned on the podcast.
She's what podcast?
So I said, you know you've you must have heard all the Facebook stories I tell on the Brooklyn Boys. She goes, no, I've heard that. I've heard the commercials for the Brooklyn Boys, but I've never listened.
I got to listen.
I said, well, listen to order, but if you want to listen out of order, I would go back about ten episodes and listen to all the Facebook shit I talk about and then go back to zero. She's like, I'm absolutely going to listen. Well, did she make a purchase or what? Yes, she made a purchase. I gave her the thing she gave me. She venmoed me, you try and do that thing that they do where they so she didn't hagle me or try to, you know, get me to give her to her for less. She
she knows who you are. You're celebrity in her eyes, she might have paid double. Well what her exact words were, you don't understand you're a freaking rock star. Then I said, I said, no, I'm not. I said, but thank you very nice, enjoy your purchase. She sent me a nice note afterwards and told me to say, how to you, So, Jenna, Welcome aboard to the Brooklyn Boys. Thank you. I don't know if it'll take you three years to get to this episode. Happy to have you. Yeah, and it went smooth.
Was one of the craziest. All right, we gotta take a break. Rock star damn scary and Brodie. Oh, you know, speaking of rock stars, I wanted your opinion on something scary. The slices. I'll tell you which slice exactly, because I want to make sure I give credit one of our slices. Timothy Martin, you know Timothy Martin. Love Timothy Martin. Yeah, Timothy Martin always comes up with some great ideas, he does. Timothy Martin says, have you guys ever thought about selling
autographed merchandise? Exactly what I was going to refer to right there. I actually have a note to say hi to Timothy Martin for that same reason. So funny you say that, David Brody, because I actually contacted merch Matt over the weekend because I got Timothy Martin's message and I said, hey, I'm going to create something that could be a good thing, but then could be a logistical
nightmare to fulfill. What if we Brody and I took a day, okay, and I'm volunteering you live on the podcast, Brody, don't mean to put you on the spot. And let's say you and I drove out to the warehouse where all the merchants stored with merch Matt oh the place to be zero. We go right where it's printed, and we do you and I do a crazy signing of our names on all kinds of merch and then he could just people could order it and ship it from there. But he said that he thinks, well, wait a second,
maybe I should just send it to you guys. I'm like, no, no, no, we we're not in the business of shipping shit. So so here's the question for the slices. And I don't know what this should be going as a poll on Instagram. Maybe we'll put maybe I'll reactivate the Brooklyn Boys Instagram or somehow, you know, awaken it, awaken its senses. It works, I've logged it. Why No, I'm kidding. We don't use it on Instagram. We'll put up a poll because we want to see if it's worth our while. What is
the I want to gauge the interest. No, because no talkbacks is not going to not a good place for that. No, No, no, because the whole show is going to be about that. So when we put up the poll on Instagram, we're going to find out what gauge your interest? How serious you may be in buying a piece of merch that is literally signed and according to Matt merch Matt personalized, meaning like we'll get the orders ahead of time, and
we'll do it after we do that window. So we open up the window for like a week, let's say, and then we will you know, personalize a piece of merch love Scary, Brody, Brody, scary, whatever the hell, and then we will send it. You'll get your piece of merch. So you buy the merch at the same price you're paying for it, only now we've added our signatures and maybe your name, Oh who designed the same price? Who did what? Oh? I did? Maybe she'd have a conversation
when you call host every once in a while. Well, you think we should charge more for that?
No, I didn't say that.
I just I'm just noticing, like you, you've already talked to merchandise, Matt merch, Matt plan merch, mer Matt merch. You've already planned out a trip, You've come up with a price point. Yeah. Not only that, but now you're personalizing the merch which means we can't just go out there and sign three hundred things and then sell them. When we sell them, We're only gonna sell what the personalized stuff is. And then if people want stuff after
that one week window, we gotta go back. Because that's because we love our slices. Well, they give me all this. We're not really planning. We don't know how much we're gonna sell. That's the thing is do you sign everything and ruin things? Garments people some people in what may on a tank top, but they don't want our names on it, so it's hard to really gauge. So that's why we want to first see if there's an initial interest.
Would you buy merch with because then we're gonna then we gotta because then we're gonna see what we're gonna what we're gonna sign. What if somebody wants if they order a Busch shirt, we can't sign it like you can't sign it. The point is, we open up the merch window for a week of personalization. It's a limited, limited time offer for like a week or a week and a half, two weeks. Whatever you want to do, we will. We will. You can order the merch with our names on it, and and then this way.
We will we will take the all the orders.
We're gonna see what piece, which garments, how many of the hats you're gonna sign, how many of the shirts, and how many jerseys, And then this way we go out there, we make one trip and we do the signings, and then they Matt could ship. So so it'll take a little bit longer for your merch to get because we need to open up and close the window, get
all the orders finalized, and then and then it'll get shipped. Now, can people also request whether they want Brody and Scario Scario Brody or do we just sign where our.
Names are on the shirts?
Whatever? It doesn't matter. Whatever it matters to some people, and I respect those people. Whatever you want to do, I don't care. I know we'll have to question, is Matt merch? But we're not charging a premium, are we? No? I wouldn't charge more. I just reminded me as you were going, like you made all these decisions, right, Derek Jeter?
You want more for your autograph?
Yeah?
You know remember what a Rod used to do.
He used to put his phone number on baseballs and hand them out the girls in the stands. Oh he used to do that? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you would do that. You used to sign your jock cards. You'd never handed out jock CODs or your phone number never. Never. I'm too my brow for that anyway.
So yeah, so we'll people give to one brow for that?
So is it? Yeah? So we'll put the poll on there, Okay, so we'll see if this If it's only like five or six people that would buy merch, I don't know. I feel like it's not worth it, right. Well, I feel like I feel like we'll do okay. Yeah, I feel like this life we step up because I'll say this, the factory where where our merch is made, is far, it's out there. It's gonna be a whole day of a trip for Brodie. Well, I'm planning. I'm planning pizza
places then for the tour. Okay, there's a couple of places near where he's located that I haven't gotten to bea and they've invited me personally because you know, I'm a rock star. R. So last weekend I got to go to Saturday Night Live. Oh I had one more pizza story. Remind me late a pizza story, yes live, Yeah, No, I was. It was. It was a dream. It was a wet dream. It was a was basically, you know,
for someone in this industry. I mean again, I geek out because we do this for a living, right right.
But there right, because then that would be a real wet dream for you.
I Jennifer Lopez was the musical guest, and uh I Iobarry no Iodebrie Ioidebri from from the Bear. She was a host and she was brilliant. Let me say this, at first, one of the best guests I've ever seen. It was very Okay, I'm glad you agree. That was what I was going to ask you because Arl wasn't as good as she was. Well, I'll say this, she she came from a background of stand up and she did.
She grew up in Boston.
But then she came up with a lot of the SNL cast members who which stand up comedy New York. She did them and she did Yeah, so she's basically been around them. So you could tell that she was a host that actually immersed herself in the show because in the writing and all that, some guests they're hosting and they're just like, write for me whatever and I'll appearance sketch. She wrote the sketches. She definite the sketches. No,
she definitely wrote, wrote wrote those keys Garry. The cast members of SNL often look to the Q cards, right, like the Q cards are placed like if I'm talking to you, the QUE cards might be behind you, look like I'm looking. But a lot of times the hosts look that, even the people on the show look. She barely ever looked at the Q card. She hadn't memorized one of the she had been memorized, but her actions,
her emotion. She was in that role like it was a Broadway show and she had done those lines a hundred times, right, So that's what I wanted to say. I thought the show was funnier than normal than usual, and I thought it was just some bad stitches there, but there were some great ones too. Anyway, I didn't know if I was experiencing it differently because I was in the audience, or it was actually funnier. She was fantastic and if you haven't watched The Bear, it's one
of the best shows I've seen in ten years. But yeah, but in between, for me, the excitement is during the commercial breaks where they're trying to build. Oh they have two minutes to move the last set out and move and get everything into place, and then you wonder, oh my god, the clock's sticking down and they going to do it in time before the cameras come back on, and of course they always do because they're professionals. But
it was nice to see live television. There was probably nothing ever like that, and there never will be anything like that again after that's not correct scary in the forties. In the fifties, everything was live. All the shows were live, and they would move sets around and have one hundred people on the floor of the camera. Wasn't It wasn't Saturday Night live, but all the shows were live back in the day. They didn't have the technology to film.
It's just cool because it's a piece of old, leftover history from the way back like like this.
You can never you could never show.
You could never get a show like you could never launch a show like that on TV today because first of all, there's no budget for it. They would it would be on a reduced staff. You would you'd be short handed. You wouldn't be able to pull it off. It cost a like a million dollars an episode to make, Yeah, to make an episode of a lot of slices. You guys may remember Mad TV. I'm sure you do. Pre recorded though not live. I couldn't enjoy it as much because there was no risk. It was all like they
made a mistake. They must have done it over again, right. I never enjoyed it because it was pre recorded. However, there was a show on a long time ago. Okay, uh. It was on Friday nights in the early eighties for like three years, Yeah, called Fridays. And if you look at the cast of Fridays, if you have a chance to go on IMDb. Yeah, I'm gonna start with Larry David was in the cast. Michael Richards who play Kramer, was in the cast, Mary Edith Barrell who was She
was on Seinfeld in the Yogurt episode. Bruce Maher was in the cast. He was on Seinfeld. Anyway, almost the entire cast of Fridays was people who then ended up on Seinfeld because Larry David hired them all.
Sure, that's how that works.
Friday's was a very good show, but it was more it was edgier than SNL. And it was around the same time that SNL took a dive in talent when everybody great left on the original cast and they had nobody In nineteen eighty Fridays was on. So there has been a second show similar, but it didn't last very long. The fact that SNL has been on since nineteen seventy five ups and downs, highs and lows. Cast members have
gone on to become movie stars. There was also a show called SCTV, which is Second City Television out of Chicago, not live, but you know, people like John Candy were in that. But anyway, the point is you levy who you love from nothing. Yeah, there's nothing like SNL and they never will be. And and the live TV experience is why. And then went to the after party. God, dude, you'd actually be very impressed. This is like scary of old.
This is vintage scary. You got on stage and you put the honk in the But the after party starts at two in the morning. I got home at like four thirty. It was great. I was like, oh my god, I pulled like an almost an all nighter here. This is great. That's that's Brody Gulls. By the way, that would have that almost would have made up for stak dinner. Ho'd you taken? Do you know? How do you know?
So the whole cast shows up to the after party.
It was just weird hard. It was weird seeing them, you know, like Louren Michaels. I look at Lorden Michaels was there, and at the next table, Keenan Thompson was holding court with some people.
Colin Jost, Michael Jay were there.
They had people, But the place we were at was so big and spread out that every cast member was with their own clique of people. So it's not like they all hang out together there. I mean, obviously they love each other, they work with each other, but after the show is over, they got their own crew. Like Heidi Gardner was having dinner with some guy and a couple of I want to hang out with Sarah Sherman. She she was. She had a bunch of people with her too. Anyway, everybody was so cool. It was so
great seeing all of them. And and then Jennifer Lopez was there and with her family. Did you see what one hundred her? I didn't. I didn't get near her. I didn't go near her. I didn't. She was and her family was there, like her kids that was at Max and Emmy are twins. But her sister, No, her sister Linda was there and her mom so Loupe. So anyway, my point is, my point is that was the ultimate
fiftieth birthday present. I didn't want better, better than going to see justin Timberlake in Urban Plaza.
They were right up there with hand in hand. We talked about that on this podcast.
Of course. Now, the same person who got you into SNL that night, was that person, the one who got you to get on stage and go behind stage and.
Open the door like you were coming in as a guest host.
No, nope, one person.
You have connections everywhere.
Yeah, one person got me in the other person happens to be a cameraman at the camera. I guess I know the cameraman. He's the guy that showed me the Muppet pipe. You know what the Muppet pipes? Yes, right, yes, of course, yeah, they google the Muppet pipes even know
what I'm talking about. Tremendous so yes, fantastic after hand of yeah, after the show, no, got to take a picture on the stage, got to do things that so as as they were exiting stage left with the rest of the audience, he came to rescue us and take us down the back staircase and we were hanging out, and then he showed us with a did Jimmy fallon studio? The Seth Meyer Studio which is next to so so studio eight H is sl We've been to the Seth meyersw SNL is studio eight H eight h of course.
And then the uh Seth Meyers Show is a g G. It's h next door, right, and then and then Jimmy found the Kelly Clarkson Show is on the sixth floor. It's just amazing. It's just so much fun and I'm like, oh my god, I'm fucking walking around NBC thirty Rockefeller Plaza.
This is it's amazing. It said the hallways are like just they're eerie, how.
Cool they are. I didn't want to leave, but I told you that I told the story, didn't I Where where I when I went to see Cornan O'Brien when he was the host of Late Night YEP with Cornan O'Brien and I ended up in the bathroom with Matt Lower. Not nothing sexual happened, but I told that story right on the podcast where he shraped so loud and I had to get out of there. Yeah, because he was destroying the place. I don't feel bad telling the story because Matt Loud didn't turn it.
Just a great guy.
He was just ripping it, ripping it hard.
But that's great.
I'm that's one of those things like I wasn't jealous of you going to see justin Timberlake at the Garden or at Irving Plot whatever you going to see s And I've never been to SNL, never been to a taping.
It's it's an experience.
And then to get to go to the after party, I mean that's legendary. The after parties over legend They got two after parties, so that's after party one. The second after party starts at four am and goes to seven am, and that's at a different venue. And the thing is they don't reveal where they're doing the party till after the show's over. But the second the first party is a guest list because all the cast and everybody goes, and Lorn goes. The second party.
Is a password.
So if you know the password and you're up at the show, so the word gets around, they text out the password for the night. It's always something embarrassing, something don't get to go. What right. My point is when you get to the door of the second party, first of all, you're fucking hammered. It's four or five in the morning at that Yeah, of course you have nothing good happens at that hour. So who do you give
money to grow for a car at that hour? And everyone's whoever's left overs left standing, we'll go to that party. So that party you entered by password. So basically, the issue the password at the end of the night, and then you have to know what it is. So if you're friends with a member or friends of friends, you could get the password. So he told me, my boy told me if ever, I'm out at four or five in the morning, and I want to go to the second SNL party in the future. Just text him for
the password and you know. But anyway, all right, so when are we going? Oh oh, you're coming with me in my the next time I go. Yes, that's what it sounds like you were saying to me. Oh yeah, Why else would you be telling me this party that you know I would go to my whole life.
I grew up on SNL. Yes, I got to share that with you.
That's a commercial.
We will be right back. That's a dick move. That's dick move. Rather than invite me to go, you you commercialed me. I gave you the I gave you the old commercial.
You commercial me.
Yeah, you commercial breaks me.
Commercial broke me. All. So now that now that my birthday's over, I can go back to my my rut of not eating or drinking and working out. So there I've got nothing. That's it. That was the highlight of my weekend. And now now here I am back on back on my ish, back on your ish. Yeah, man, is it is it? Can you tell them lost a little weight? I can because you tell me on Instagram every day when I go to look at Instagram stories. Oh, I'm at Scary Jones shows me. How much is that obnoxious?
Because people think I think it's endearing. No, I I think it's I think everybody is. It's important for people to know that you've you're doing well, and that you've balanced your whatever. You've balanced hormones, your hormones. You're not you don't have the man boobs anymore. You're back to having just male hormones, which is nice for you. I know that's a big deal. Uh No, you look great. You down if I remember correctly, scariness isn't planned. You're
down twenty nine pounds in forty days. Is that accurate? Pretty much? Yeah?
I mean things may have changed since tomorrow.
Well tomorrow'll be hopefully being down another pound. By next week, I'll be done. The thing is, I'm not going to make it to the forty pounds and forty days unfortunately. All right, I'm going to go fifty days right to my vacation time. And because we're you know, next week the morning show, the Big Show is off. Not not next week, guys on a vacation again, not next week the week after that President's week. Oh yeah, that when
I worked there, it was like we had a day off. Yeah, So I'm going to take it right up to that point and then we'll see what happens from there. But I'm going to need to keep at it because the exercise that is because I like to eat, and all I do is see shit on TikTok. Man, that's all I'm so upset with. Man. So I feed on Instagram is feed feed, I figured out. But that's why they call it a feed, by the way, exactly, because what
am I going to feed on. I figured out that the way you're losing weight is to send me all of the food videos exactly it rather than watch to be like, oh this looks I'll send it to Brody because you have been sending me a lot of like montage videos of like, oh my god, these are my favorite restaurants in New Giants. Get back to me and tell me about it in the fourth quarter, but for now, you could watch that shit. No, it's not good for me that it's still that shit. I'm not going to
those places. I'm not spending that kind of money. And I'm like, all right, well Scared is not taking me, so fuck, it's not going Instagram has me pegged. Man, there, I'm in some hellish vortex with that as pegged by who the Instagram platform? They they all they do is serve me food videos because it's all I used to watch. And kittens and parrots. So that's it. It's like cens and parrots and food. Have you ever lied to a girlfriend to have sex, to get sex, or to get
sympathy sex? No, that's icky, that's fucking cringe. I don't want, I never would want sympathy. Sympathy sex is has gotta be awful. I don't think I've ever been. It's none of my life. It's not sympathy sex. I'll explain. So I don't remember if he told me. I could say who he was or I can't. It's not my friend Cheff, by the way, but uh, somebody that I know told me this story because we were talking about skiing, and I said, I only went skiing once, doing coke, no
real skiing on a mountain. I went with my friend Vinnie from Brooklyn back in the day, and I fell and I ended up with skiers thumb. You can google that. But I'll explain. Some other thing is that it's a thing. So I'll explain the skiers thumb. You see my thumb skars Oh it's bent, it's bent right. So what happens is if you fall forward and the pole is in your hand, you put your hands out to fall right.
You Brody's thumb has Pirone's disease. I think that's what it is.
Yeah, So what happens is the pole stays in the joint between your thumb and your first finger because that's where you're holding it. And when you fall, the pole smashes the joint between your thumb and your first finger. But it's so cold you don't feel it. That's painful, and then it heals wrong. So I went to the doctor and they're like, when do you think this happened? I go, well, I was skiing and the guy said, did you fall? I said, yeah, my first time skiing.
Is well, you have skis thumb and they can't fix it. So my friend's telling me how he went up to Vermont he went skiing, and I said, oh, I want he goes?
Did you ski?
Say? I went skiing once. I loved it, but somewhere along the way I fell. I ended up with a deformed thumb. The rest of my life. They can't fix it without fusing it. What meaning you lose the joint. So he says, yeah, I went with skiing once and I ripped my hand up really bad and the skin was ripped and it was really bad. So they had to put it in a cast, like a soft cast. And he says the problem was now again, it's not me.
It's not Jeff. He said, I you know, I like to pleasure myself a lot as a guy, and I couldn't do it because my hand was wrapped up and I can't do it with my left hand. So I said to my wife, you got to help me out here. I can't take care of myself. We need to up the times we're having sex. So she had sex with him every day for two weeks, and then at the end of two weeks, the doctor says, you can take the bandages off.
You're fine. He rewrapped his hand.
And kept it going for two more weeks, telling her, babe, my hand is still bad, and had sex with her or whatever she did for him to relieve him of his alleged stress for another two weeks. So I was can you be that you can't control yourself.
Like I gotta have it well the coast.
Thing I said to him was I go, dude, you can't go a couple of days without like relieving yourself. He's like, I go a day other than that, I'm gonna I'm gonna pattern, I'm gonna rhythm, I gotta I gotta wow.
So he goes.
And at the time, my wife and I weren't very regular. We were like once a week. And I told her I need help. So whatever she did for him, she helped him. And then when his two weeks were up, he told her, babe, my hands. It didn't heal right. They had to, you know, redo something. And it was a slight and and so he got the two weeks out of her. Oh. She does not listen to the podcast because to this day she does not know that he did that. But you have never You've never done like, oh,
maybe my back hurts, can I just lay here? No? Never, No, uh huh, that's not me. I mean, you buy a car for a girl, but you wouldn't lie to her. Man, you can't get past that. That's the thing, man, that's a thing. You cannot get past that. No. Yeah, no, But I've never lied for I've never lied for sex, all right. I mean I've I've I've I've claimed I was nice and I'm not. So that was. I don't gonna lie. But I'm a rock star. I don't need to lie. You know, I'm famous. I'm gonna sign merch.
People gonna buy it. Yeah, look at you. So super Bowl's coming up this weekend, and uh, who do you got about it? Niners are Chiefs. I will post the same picture I post four years out of the last five, maybe I am. I am a pseudo Chiefs fan in the super Bowl. And I'll tell you why I've told this. You can watch, you can see my Instagram. You could see every year I post the same picture or pictures. Patrick Mahomes's father, Pat, who was arrested this week driving under the influence.
So I don't root for him at the moment. I hope he's gonna be okay.
Patrick Mahomes' father pitched for the Mets, and he grew up around the Mets. And this pictures him online shagging flies in the outfields a little boy, and he grew up a Mets fan. He's always wearing Mets jerseys. He's a Mets fan. When the interviewed him. He's like, Hey, my father played for like eleven teams, but the Mets treated me really well. And I'm a Mets fan. So because he's a Mets fan, he wears Mets jerseys, I root for him. That's the only reason. And my I
like the coach. I like Andy Reid. So what's the over and under? I couldn't tell you don't. I don't bet on the games. I'm gonna watch this. I'm gonna watch the commercials. How about and I'm when I said I'm rooting for the chief scary, I'd be like, oh, the Chiefs, wouldn't it be nice? I don't have a dog in the race. The Jets don't go to the super Bowl? Okay, well, hold on a second. What about a prop bet? I don't how many times? How many times are they gonna show Taylor Swift during the broadcast.
That's probably gonna be the number one prop bet. That's if, by the way, there's a prop bet. As to whether or not she can get back from Japan in time, the Japanese ambassador released a letter this week saying he will do whatever he can to help her get out of the country. Obviously, she has a private jet. But she starts to do the concert Friday night in Japan. Yeah, a late night concert, and then it's an eighteen or nineteen hour flight back to la because that's where the
direct flight goes to. And then she has to fly to Vegas. I don't think she's gonna fly directly to Vegas. Whatever the plane does, I don't know she's gonna fly to Vegas. And then she's got like she'll get like four hours sleep and get to the game. So now the people are betting whether she's gonna make it. I imagine she'll make it. Right. Well, I don't know if you saw boomerisiasin on another podcast, but he was talking
about how she's you know, tailors helped the NFL. She's introduced new faces to the game because they're people that would never watch football but now they are. Or they are bonding between a father and a daughter where the daughters are watching for Taylor for whatever is Taylor reaction shots and the dad's interested in the game and could be like a moment of like you know, where they communicate with each other. But Taylor specifically, he was was
it him that was talking or maybe it's conjecture. I don't know rumor, but basically, would you be surprised if Taylor Swift was paid, not well, not paid, but like demanded on them flying her, the NFL flying her on their private jet on their time. She would never First of all, she has to fly her own jet to jet Japan, so that she has to come back anyway. No, but like she can get a rise, she's got hold on. She's got to still end up back in Japan. She's got to go back to Tokyo. So so the point
is if if is it worth the NFL? I think the NFL could be footing the bill, not a chance to hold on. But let me tell you what, No, I'm not even finished because of what she because of what she the impact she's had on the NFL, and she knows her value and her worth and you and they don't pay people to come to the to the
super Bowl because we're honored and a privilege to be there. Sure, maybe the NFL is footing the bill for a private jet to take her to from Japan to the super Bowl and back, which is going to cast an rmoral leg And while she's there, she's going to get her own private suite for her and her friends or whoever. And those sweets are now going they say they're going for a million dollars each.
So what are the odds.
That she actually zero, that she that these are true stories, that we put that on top of the pile of bullshit conspiracy theories that people have that, oh, she's not really in love with with Travis.
I never said that. I never said that.
Not you not, You wouldn't say you. All of these can piracy theories are bullshit. I'll tell you why. First of all, I saw one guy called her a gold digger for dating a football player. He's worth, he's worth. I don't know a fraction of what she's worth. A billion dollars, she's worth a billion. You know what a billion is scary? A thousand million? Yeah, she's worth a thousand million. Yeah, Okay, she's gonna make a couple one hundred million in Japan. Do you really think she cares
about the cost of a flight? Think about it at the risk, at the think about this at the If the NFL paid for her flight, then all the other conspiracy theorists would say, oh, I was wrong, I was right about that one. I must have been right with all the other ones. Then it looks like she's it's all it's all a scam, right, whether it is or it isn't. She would never risk her reputation up pun intended.
Heyo for a couple of hundred thousand dollar flight or one hundred thousand dollar flight, whatever the flight costs, that's meaningless money to her. She actually is in love with the guy. She's gonna come And honestly, do you think the NFL needs any more attention on the fucking super Bowl? On the Super Bowl they charge five million dollars a minute for commercials. You think they need one more person watching the Super Bowl?
It's a global phenomenon. I'm just telling you.
I'm just telling you what what's out there, what people are saying.
But that's what they're saying online.
That's the line online is trash. People come up with everything they come like, who who needs more attention? Oh, she's only dating table Swift for publicity. She's the biggest artist on the planet. Just he's in the middle of the biggest musical tour in the history of music tours. She doesn't need more publicity. In fact, she wants less publicity. But she might I don't know. I guess there you go,
but nobody but you don't. The NFL. Second, the NFL figures I could cash in on this because I you know, they need me. They need me. The NFL doesn't need her for the future billion dollars they need I understand that. But could they give her that would matter to a billion. But it's not about It's not about the money at this point. It's about then how does she cash in? She doesn't need cash because it's it's all about It's
all about respect and the fact that respect. She just wants to watch a football game with her boyfriend playing. I know.
But if she can get them to pay the bill of a why would that bill?
Dude? It's like it's like saying, oh, would Elvis go to McDonald's if they treated him. Elvis doesn't need McDonald's to treat him for a happy meal. A flight from Japan is a happy meal to Taylor Swift.
She's a billionaire.
Yeah, but you don't think that she's actually going to take advantage of the fact that, well, what's in it for me? I mean, I know she wants to see her boyfriend play in the Super Bowl. That's what's in it for her. What else does she need?
Her album's in the middle of the year.
She's all on the other on the other side of the world right now. She may not be motivated as much. I don't know. She's not motivated to fly back and watch her boyfriend in the fucking super Bowl. Okay. If you see her in her own private suite, just know that cost a million dollars. Okay, and I just told you she's worth a thousand million. I don't think she paid for that suite. If you see her in that suite, scary. You just got a gift card from a company that
dumped you. Why wouldn't a company give her a free suite. It's it's courtesy. It's courtesy. That's what they do. The NFL is we only got the red carpet. It's a respect thing. It's like, you know something, We're happy what you've done for us all season. Of course we have we have trouble getting younger people through the door. People
don't want to watch fucking live sports anymore. So, you know, because no, because even though the NFL is a joggernaut, it's still not as successful and profitable as it once was.
The NFL is going to make so much money the r So thank.
You Taylor Swift. Hold on, heear me out for a second. I'm Rochel Goodell, I'm Roger Goodell. Thank you Taylor Swift for all you've done for us this season.
Yeah, here's a sweet.
So here's a plane and a suite. She won't take the plane. He won't set the plane. I'll tell you why she won't take the plane because she yesterday, she's paying.
A million dollars for that suite. She's gonna think she's entitled.
That's what I'm talking about. She thinks she's entitled.
She's done for the NFL.
But you you've met Taylor, you know the real You know she's not to act like she's entitled. You know, when she goes to football games, she gives huge tips to the people that wait on her. She gives huge tips to the security guards. Again, when she plays a concert, she gives money to all the people that work there, to everyone on her staff makes a lot of money.
She's very generous.
If she gets as sweet for free, she will take that money and she will hand it out to the people serving the food in the suite. She's not like that. She's not an asshole. Scary you and I know a lot of assholes in the music industry, and we aren't mentioning them, right, But she's not one of them. I just think that it's it's it's a roll out the red carpet, thank you, thank you gift. Yeah. Will they give her? Will they give her a private entrance in
security to get in? Absolutely? Of course? All right. But if I'm watching the super Bowl and I have a choice between them showing a shirtless fat guy with a Chiefs logo on his chest or Taylor Swift with his mom, that's fine. My mate. Doesn't bother me as long as I see my funny commercials. And by the way, the commercial for paramount streaming service, oh my god, it looks great. I want to see another shirtless Jason kelcey. That's another
prop bet that i'd like to bet on. Will Jason Kelsey appear?
That's the highlight.
Let's come up.
Let's come up on our own prop bets.
All right.
Let me let me think, uh uh?
Will there be more soda? I'll tell you what. Will there be more beer commercials? Or chips and snacks commercials? Will there be I think, uh, more more snacks commercials? Okay, I think what about? What about? Uh? Will there be a commercial featuring an old person taking a fall? A senior citizen falling down? Unless you've seen some of the commercials, I haven't seen any. I swear to god, haven't seen any. Will there be another commercial with the Kelsey's mom Kelsey's
god right? Or will it be a commercial with Jason Kelcey like sitting on the watching TV at home and he's not He wasn't invited this year, like oh, I said, don't watch my brother something like that, Pete Davidson appear in a net or some pop culture people of this some Well, I'm looking forward as a fan of Marvel movies. The Deadpool three trailer is going to play, and allegedly we're gonna find out who the cast of the Fantastic Four is.
I'm excited about that.
You heard that normally a super Bowl perform at halftime performance is thirteen minutes long, and Usher asked for fifteen and he got it, so he's getting extra two minutes. I also think that a little John and Ludacris will be up here because Yeah is Usher's biggest song of all time, so there's no way he can't do that, and he was not gonna be able to do it without Ludacris and Little John, So I think that both of them will be there as well. I would not
take that bet. I think that's I think you're right. People are also saying Justin Bieber is going to make an appearance.
Why would he be there becaus Usher discovered him?
Yeah, and he was in a song with Usher or all the way back right he was yeah. Oh, how long do you think the the national anthem will be? I think it's I'm going to say two minutes and fourteen seconds. I could not care any less. I'm going to the length of the national anthems to fourteen.
Oh.
There was one crazy bet. I don't even know singing, but there was one insane bet. Oh something stupid some pizza place. It's not the major ones said that if if there's.
A doink during the game, then everyone gets free pizza.
Kick a doink on either a field goal or an extra point. That means the football has hit the crossbar or the uh yeah, the bottom and any part of the you of the of the of the yellow bar. If the football hits that, dude, what are the odds that that's going to happen. I don't know what the odds are, but it happens rarely. It's not but it's
not impossible. A doink, a doint doinks happen. So so basically what this pizza fucking place is giving away to its to its patrons is and it's it's a national chain, I believe, but not one that I've ever heard of. They're giving away nothing because thanks for nothing, you idiots. There's no way there's going to be a doint during the game. And why the doink? What does that have to do with pizza? I have no idea. I guess they just figured out something that doesn't happen that often, Right,
they want something. They want to make the news, or they want to go viral, or they want to be talked about. Oh, you're talking about me. It's not mentioning their name because they're not a sponsor. Right if they were, you'd be I'll tell you hit ja. Yeah, but isn't that stupid? Like come up with something better, but you're talking about it. You ask people think is a funny word, and now you're talking about it, So you're playing right
into their hands. It is brilliant. They got their money's worth. No, they didn't, mis I tell you what pizza place it was. You didn't.
But other people at the commercials is.
Gonna run and people are like all they do and yeah, doink where do I get my pizza?
And they were like, oh, yeah, it's not a national chain. You don't get shipped. You get you get? Who gots is?
What you got? Who got? Who got? So? That didn't mean nothing. When we're growing up got, No, we just say gots and ghoul, you get gots and gool gots.
I never said that you got who gotst was Stu Gottstu Gots was somebody?
Wasn't that the name of the what Tony Sopranos boat, the Stuts?
What do I remember that?
That's useless? That's all right because it's the Sopranos and they're fantastic. I watched clips on YouTube all the time, like, oh, let me watch when so and so got whacked. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of people that you know, they've had a resurgence of people wanting to watch the Sopranos that never saw it before, and people are getting pissed off with spoilers crazy.
Oh dude, the show ended in two thousand and seven, so is.
There expiration date?
Is there an expiration date on the spoilers?
The first the first episode was twenty five years ago, Like at some point you gotta go. Yeah, but I don't like spoilers. But we got yelled at once for like you remember it was early two thousands and we went on the air and we said, oh yeah, at the end of King Kong got slices. Don't get mad at me, Oh they will, okay, let me, let me, let me phrase this. In the recent King Kong movies in the last ten years, there's they're updated, and there's sequels, whatever.
But the original King Kong movie from nineteen thirty nine or whatever, it was thirty four thirty four. Then they made another one nineteen seventy six, right, then they made another one in whatever year it was. H it's the same story, the same plot of the same movie. Yeah, towas Beauty killed the Beast. Yeah, and the spoiling happens. He falls off the Empire State building and in seventy six he died. The World Trade Towers. He dies, he dies.
He dies every time. So people like I can't believe you ruled the movie like the movie was nineteen seventy six at that point. He dies in all of them. He doesn't die in the recent ones, but like he died in the original one. He fell in love with an actress named Fay Ray and he climbed to the top and biplanes shot at him and then jets shot at him. In seventy six, fell off the World Trade Tower at one of the towers. It's the same story. So people like, I can't believe you ruined that movie.
For me, he ruined the Titanic. The boat sinks. Remember that we got in trouble for saying that, oh the boats to be like he ruined the movie, dude, the Titanic sank. It's a it's a true story, but the Titanic. Yeah. And in Lincoln he gets assassinated, folks, Yeah, in the theater. In the theater. It's crazy because because these are real life stories now and you just it's history. So but
you can't even talk about six cents. I'll tell you what there was, Okay, So before you go on, help us a whole the last the last three minutes, I'm thinking of my head. Haley Joel Osmont sixth sense? Should I bring it up? Should I bring it up? But I guess what, man, you bring it up, people are
gonna get pissed. Even though the two movies I will never talk about the end of twenty five years Old is sixth sense, sixth sense and the Usual Suspects, because those two movies you don't want to give away the ending, you don't, it's it ruins, well, it ruins a lot of the movie if you knew the ending, because the ending tells the story about what happened previously. Right, It's just one of those things. Still don't ruin those movies. But Titanic the boat sayings, I got news for you.
That's what happens. So uh, I feel like scary since we don't we don't we don't have talkbacks to play because we do the talkbacks. I feel like I should tell how I got yelled at the supermarket and the fight I got into with the uh, the the fire inspector in my house I have. I've been getting into arguments with people. I feel like I should I should share them. Well, we'll we'll we'll pick one. Well that out of time, go ahead, all right, Well, I'll tell you about the guy I had to scream at from
home depot. Another home depot story. So I I have a water heater, not a hot water heater, that's redundant of a water heater in my basement. And I got the town called me and said, you know that water heater you had installed a few years ago, you never filed the proper paperwork.
With the town. So I said, wait a minute.
The people that installed it said they file the paperwork. They go, yeah, well you didn't. You need to file the paperwork and we need to take care of that. You need to get us the permit number that was filled out so we can track it down and take care of it, and we'll have our inspector come and look at it. I said, all right, well, no problem, I bought it a home Depot. I'll call the home
depot people. Now, home depot uses a company, an installer company, right, something like eight hundred heaters or something something like that. So I call home Depot to see if they have a record of it. Right, I say, listen, you guys installed my water heater like I don't know, two three years ago, and whoever you guys hire They didn't give me a copy of the permit. I don't know what they did with the permit, and they didn't file it
with the town. The town never didn't inspec I need to copy the permit so I can get this taken care of, because you know, if I want to sell my house, I can't sell my house unless all the permits are clear right, it makes sense? Yeah, okay, all right. So they transferred me to the guy at home depot that's going to help me in the in the water heating department. So I said, listen. Uh his name was was Max. I said, listen to Max, I need your help.
I need to copy my permit. He is the story, YadA, YadA, YadA. He says, uh, yeah, the the installer should have given you the permit. Yep.
I understand that, Max, but they didn't. That's why I'm calling you.
I don't know who the installer was, because it's whoever you sent out at that time. You know.
He goes, well, I can't go back in my system more than a year. Call the installer.
I said, Okay, I don't know if you're listening to me, Max, but I don't know who the installer is. I know, I told you guys, a minute ago. It was eight hundred, you know, water heater or whatever. I didn't know it at the time, So I said, I don't know who the installer was. You guys hire them whoever you guys hire. He says, well, they should have given you the permit, Max, Like I said, they didn't give me the paperwork. That's why I'm calling you. Well, I can't go back in
my system more than a year. Yep, you told me that. But I what should I do then? Because I bought this from you? How can I track down the purchase? And do you know who your installer is? He goes, well, you may have to call the installer. Do you know who the installer was? This guy stotts like, listen, Max, you're not listening to me. I said, I'm trying. I'm trying to be calm with you. I don't know who the installer was, right, He says, yeah, Well you know
the guys who installed it. They should have given you the paperwork for the water heater. Yep, they should have, but they didn't. Right.
So then he says, well.
Did you check your records because they should have given you the permit. I checked my records, Max, So can you please tell me what I should do to find out how to get the permit. He says yeah. He goes, hold on, let me put you on hold. Let me talk to a couple of people up right back. What's on hold? I get the hold. News that comes back. He says, yeah. I talked to my supervisor. Here's what he said. I go, yeah, what he say? Here's you should get the paperwork from the installer. I said, you,
son of a bitch. I haven't even given him my name yet, so I was okay to yell at him. I go, you, son of a bitch. Why aren't you listening to me?
Sir?
You don't have to get upset. No, I have to get upset because I told you I didn't know who the installer was. I told you and have the paperwork, and your response to me was they should have given me the paperwork. I'm aware of that. I'm not the speking. They should have give me the paperwork. They didn't give me the paperwork. So I'm asking you how do I get the paperwork? And you tell me to call the installer.
When I've told you I don't who installer is. You tell me, well, they should have given me the paperwork COLLI installer. I don't know who the installer was, so I had to call corporate, who told me I have to call the store to find out which installer they used. I said, please, don't make me call them back. I called them back and I got Max again, and Max's sir, none that I can help you with. You need to get the paperwork for the installed. Are you sure you
didn't get the paperwork? Oh my god, Oh my god, Max, Oh my god. So I like how he's checking with you three times, just in case. So I said, So, here's what I did. I said, Max, let me ask you a question. I want to call back. I'm going to check my filing cabinet. I'm gonna check everything. What days are you there this week? Because I want to come in and I want to Sorry, I said, I want to call back. I want to make sure I get you because you've been very informative. You seen to
know what you're talking about. What days are you there? He goes, I'm here every day, but Wednesday, fantastic. You went on Wednesday. I went on Wednesday. I knew on Wednesday, and ROBERTA helped me. I'm sorry, Ronda, Ronda, helped me. Ronda was fucking fantastic help me, Ronda, and Ronda helped you. Yeah, so she says, she says, we only have mister Brody, we only have two installers. We have such and such brothers, and we have eight hundred heaters. I go, yes, eight
hundred heaters. That sounds very familiar. That's them. So I called eight hundred heaters and the guy says to me, that's not a problem. They pulled up your account and he emailed. He emailed me the permit immediately while I was on the phone with him. So fuck you, Max, fuck you. Mission accomplished. I knew you were going to do that. Find out when he wasn't working. Yep. I couldn't ask him when he wasn't working. So it's like, oh, what days are you there? That's right from here, every
day but Wednesday. And that's exactly brotherly. By the way, how I got out of my relationship with my ex hair haircutter guy.
He was terrible and he well did you buy him a car?
Well, every time every time I would go for a haircut, dude, this guy was in there. I'm like, fuck man, I'm like, I don't want to break up with him, and I don't want to and I want really want to go hang out, and I want Amanda to cut my hair from now on. So Amanda was good. Who fucked up your hair? Now though, Hey that's Amanda. A man is the best. Shut up, don't don't go there. But this dude was there every day, so I'm like, hey, buddy, I'm like, I'm thinking about coming in that another time,
So what's your schedule? And of course he was off on Thursdays. And then I found that from the lady at the reception desk that Amanda was in on Thursdays.
I'm like, great, because I can't wait.
Wait, you're going to a different person in the same establishment. Yes, you can't do that. I just did. I did it this exact same way that you just solved your problem. So now so I only go to get my haircut on Thursdays because Amanda is there and this dude, it's this dude's day off because he is that you to this dude for five years. Can you imagine if he saw me? Because no, if I went on a day when Amanda and him were there and I went in her chair, he'd fucking give me, like the side eye
and we were there. If Amanda he was there, he'd fucking stare me down, like you motherfucker. So so to him, I just disappeared out of air. What if Marjorie says, hey, uh, Mike, I need you to cover my Thursday shift. I got tickets to a concert. Yeah, i'll work you Thursday. I'm gonna get caught were red handed? Yeah? You fuck?
What do you do that?
Do you win to Amanda and then go to this guy. No, Amanda knows and Mandon knows. She's like, yeah, yeah, I totally understand why you don't want to be. We'll call him Larry. Okay, well he don't want to be. You don't want to.
We don't want Larry to cut your hair, so Amanda cuts my hair.
Okay, but wait a minute, will she call you and go like, dude, Larry's here, don't come in. Yeah, she'll give me the heads up. But that's never happened. Every Thursday. I think he's got something to do with his kids. Whatever it is. Larry's there every day, but Thursday or actually, because they eat worth like three four days a week, the one day that Amanda is there and he's not the one is Thursday, right, so if you want your haircut a different day, you have to see if he's there or not.
Yeah, no, I have to wait till the following Thursday.
Well, could you call up and be like, what if you need an emergency haircut? What if you your Thursday appointments with book? You're like, I got a jingle Ball concert coming up, I gotta get a haircut. Would you go to a different establishment? Yes?
To avoid Larry. Hey, guess what, Brodie, I just got a haircut today.
What's today? Today's Thursday? Holy shit, that's right, That's why it looks decent. Seriously, though, what did Larry give me? An give me an idea of what? Was he a talker? Was he a toucher?
Larry was just he was never happy.
He gave me a swimmer, he gave me the swimmer cut.
I just he just he slacked off. He wasn't he wasn't as good.
A couple of years later down No, a couple of years down the road, he just he lost his touch. He wasn't giving me great haircuts. Is shaky hand. He getting old. The one the one day I went to Amanda when he wasn't there, I realized a vashed improvement in my haircut. So I said different, said next month, I'm coming to you. Is Amanda hot? Yeah? She said enough said yep, okay, but that's really why you're going.
I got you all right? No, she's not well? What to say?
I can't do that.
No, man is cool, she's a good person.
That's terrible. You never say a girl's cool and you say you put me on a spot. You just say she's very I don't look at her that way, that's all. I don't look at her that way.
Thank you? Larry is he hut? No, Oh, you can't be seen with Larry.
Then.
Now Larry's always is a bad haircut.
Okay, is I give you this riddle and you tell me what you would do. You go into this small western town and there's like two haircut places next to each other, and one haircut place. The guy's got a terrible haircut, and his place is a mess, there's his hair everywhere. The other place is the guy has a great haircut and his place is spotless. Who would you go to for haircut? And why the guy with the
terrible haircut? Who's who's places looks like ship with the guy with the nice haircut, who has a nice, clean, clean shop. The terrible haircut guy. Why. I couldn't tell you, but I know that's the answer. Why No, you don't go to the terrible haircut guy. But you gotta go to the terrible haircut guy because he gave the good haircut the other guy he gave, right, that's the that's the theory. And the guy would go to the guy with the terrible guy with the terrible haircut because he
got him from the other cut. He cut the other guy's hair, right, That's how the joke goes. So Larry's the guy with the with the good haircut, and this.
Go niners, no go cheese, let's goners.
I'm gonna say it, no go whatever makes Tala jump up and down. Boys, boys,