#255: Skeery Slept With a Man In Paris

that was crazy. So even though Brodie and I do an audio podcast, we still pop up on video, so we share the same studio virtual studio that I use for Share when we record the podcast Speaking Volumes. So Brody was like, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, we're over the time limit time for me to jump on. So Brody just busted in to the Speaking Volumes podcast like the Kool Aid Man on camera. He's like, okay, oh yeah, like the Kool Aid Man where it's a large pitcher

that breaks through a wall. But yes, I did bust in. Yes, he busted into the podcast, which was really funny. So yeah, so you can actually listen to that or actually watch it's better to watch it on the shares YouTube channel. We'll be posting links to that on my Instagram at Scary Jones. And what's the name of her podcast channel. It's us It's Speaking Volumes. So yeah, that's okay. We're at Share Cassenza. She's got a YouTube page, so yeah,

you'll see it there. But anyway, okay, we're gonna post I'll probably post a clip of us, the three of us, because it's a nice crouss promote for the Brooklyn Boys. You know, one of these days slices, Brody's gonna be like, you know what, Scary, Let's do video one of these days for the Brooklyn Boys podcast. I'm just saying, but okay, ah, you giving me the silent treatment. Now, what are we in the fucking fifth grade? The fifth grade? Well, you can see my face now because we we're video you

can see my silent treatment. Yeah, but no, I'm excited. Oh speaking of video. Yeah, and again there's a reason I did the video for this. What I'm about to mention and not our podcast s n Y, which is Sports Net New York. It's the Mets Sports Network here in the New York metropolitan area and if you have it on your satellite or cable system or you stream it. So one of our former interns, Sam, another female Sam,

not Sam, the producer who's still with the show, Blonde. Sam, got a job working at SNY and she came up with a great idea for a new show. When the Mets have off and there's no game, let's give the Mets fans something to watch in the meantime. So there's a show called Mets Day Off Live and every week they have a different two guests on the show. And last week I was one of the guests along with Jerry Blevens who used to pitch for the Mets and the Braves and the A's. I was on with a

major league player. Where was this on TV? No, It was a live podcast on S and Y's YouTube channel. So you can either go to S and Y's YouTube channel and click on lives right because if you just go to the videos, there's other videos, but there's a section for the lives, or you can go to my Twitter where it's pinned. It's my most recent tweet or just search for sn y and the Mets and me and okay, good, this is great, Brodie, you're getting h Yeah.

So this video I was on for like thirty seven minutes and I was talking baseball with the host of the TV show and Jerry who's on Baseball Night in New York and a former Major league pitcher, and me talking about pitching. Phenomenal. That's great. Please check that out now check expert. By the way, you didn't never played baseball? Have you ever left a review on Yelp for a restaurant you went to? Do you need to be a

chef to enjoy and critique food. I am a student of baseball and love the ins and outs and intricate season. So I'm knowledgeable about the Mets. And you've studied studied the game. You've studied the game. Yes, so we talked about baseballs. Are being ejected? Yeah? So now it was episode two. Episode one was co hosted by a guy

who does a Mets YouTube blog podcast. He does a weekly uh you know video thing and right now he has more views on his YouTube on the on the YouTube version than I do because everyone's watching mine on Twitter Okay, So if you happen to click on the YouTube link, I appreciate the views. Thank you here. You'll have me back a little commercial for that. That's great. So I don't get I didn't get paid. How is it for free? How is your week? Has your week

been doing well? Brody? Have you been doing okay? Getting into fights lately? Well, I had a situation at a Chinese restaurant and I'm very excited to talk about that. Yeah, I had a fight with US Postal Service. God man having a fight with an asshole on eBay Jesus and I had a fight with the Best Buy rewards the vision of their credit card department. Yeah, I've had some.

this point. Okay, well, because I don't feel like I've been ever, you know, not many attempts to rip me off on my a day to day basis. Or do I just let it roll off my shoulder easily? Do I just think you do it? What do you do all day? You go to work, you come home, you hang around, then you go to a rooftop bar. Where is anyone going to rip you off? And you got to a restaurant to drink, come home? Yeah, I know, yeah, but you don't care. You drink so much you don't even notice. Is that what it is?

would have let it slide. Maybe I don't know all that shit's lie now, you know. So part of my Okay, let me tell you. One of the things I'm having a problem with right now is your fault. Okay, well what is mine? You gave me something. You gave me something to sell for you, which I posted on eBay. We'll call it a flirp. You gave me this flirt that you had unopened and new in the box. Flirt. You say, Brody, can you sell us flirt? It's sitting around my house. I'll give you. I'll give you. I

get a percentage. I said, yeah, I'm chilling on the couch watching Mets games. I'll sell you flirt for you. So I put it up and it was up for a few weeks. I had a lower the price a couple of times, and I finally sold the flirp for fifty two dollars. And this is what I complained about a couple of weeks ago when I was talking about eBay ripping me off. Right, So it was twelve seventy five to ship your flirp. Yeah, plus tax, The whole

thing was like sixty eight dollars. Okay, that's what the total was that the buyer paid sure, and I shipped it to South Carolina to some guy to enjoy the flirp. Well, I printed the label and as soon as you print the label on eBay, you get a tracking number, and then when you bring it to the post office, they will scan it and then the tracking number goes in the system. You follow me, so far, so far, I do. So most post offices have a ledge that says prepaid packages,

put them here. You don't need to wait online. You just put the box on the shelf and when they get to it, they scan them all and they're done, right, Okay. So I went in on a Tuesday. It on a Tuesday, I believe it was, let's just say, the eleventh of the month, and I I print out the label on the tenth. I went in the next day and I dropped it on the ledge. I waved to the person who worked there, and she was like, yep, right, there's good.

And I left. Five days later, the buyer of the flurp messages with me on eBay and says, hey, there's no tracking information on the FLIRP. I went and put in the number that you gave and that eBay provided and there's no record of So I said, all right, Well, no problem. Hold tight, I'll go into the post office tomorrow and i'll find out what's going on. When into the post office, says, oh, we're having problems where the tracking numbers aren't showing up on systems and a lot

of people have been complaining about that. But don't worry. Your package is on the way. So I brote the guy back. I said, your package is on the way. The flip will be there any day now. He says, hey, man, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Great. So four or five days later, he doesn't have the package. He says, I didn't get the package. So I filed a complaint with United Postal Service and they said we'll take care of it. Give us until give us three days.

I told the guy. He says, all right, I'll wait three days. I said, great, thank you for your patience. I'm so nice to be patient. I don't know what could have happened, but I mailed it. I don't know where the package is. So then he says, all right, I'll wait. And then two days later, after saying he'd weighed three days, he files a report that he didn't get the package and he wants a full refund. So I hit him up and I said, hey man, he said,

you're gonna wait three days. Well, I counted yesterday as a day, and now it's two days. I reported it. I say, no, but the post office is investigating. Well, I want my money or I want the item. I said, I totally understand that. Let's see what the post office says. But you know eBay is going to refund your money. You're not gonna be out the money. Don't worry. And I said, I have one hundred percent feedback. By the way, I should say this, I've been doing eBay for over

twenty years. I have one hundred percent feedback, which I put in all my posts. One hundred percent feedback. You can trust me. I've never had a problem. I go out of my way to be nice to everybody. It's surprisingly, I know, yep. And so I said, look, I have one hundred percent positive feedback. I'm a great guy. You will get your flirp or you get your money back. It's a win win for you. You have no to worry about. Sure, at the worst case, I'm out the money, which means

scary is out the money, which means we're screwed. But you're going to get your money back. So eBay comes to me and says, what do you want to do. I said, well, give him his money back if the package isn't found by a certain day, giving you money back. So the post office gets back to me and said, we will have this case closed by May seventh, and in the event that we can't find it, we'll refund your money because you have one hundred can a lot.

This is getting really convoluted, but go for it. Okay. So we're okay. So the thing closes out, he gets his money back and I write him real quick, scary. I say, hey, sorry, this didn't work out. Sorry they lost your package. Good luck getting your next package. Have a wonderful weekend. He goes, hey, man, same to you, thanks for being so cool. Great. An hour and a half later, I get an alert on my phone. You

have received negative feedback. This guy left me a negative review on eBay because of your flurp, even though I was nice to him. So I wrote him back. I said, hey, man, why'd you leave me a negative comment? Yay, have a nice weekend, so nice. Everybody's great, and he goes, well, I didn't get my item. I don't know you could be scamming me. What So now I have a ninety

point nine rating. It went down. My rating's ruined. So I wrote him back and I said, I said, hey man, wait, I thought the transaction was complete, right, So I said, hey man, listen, you got your money back. I wish you good luck. You know, I went to the post office twice. I reported it to the post I did everything I was supposed to do. Can you please change

your response back? You're ruining my selling ability, he wrote, I see no evidence of anything other than wrongdoing on your part, and until you can prove to me the post Office is taking responsibility, I refuse to change my review of you. Well, fuck you. So I called eBay and I said, hey, this guy's being a prick to me. You can look at our messages and see how nice I was right, and see how I'm polite. And I kept him informed and I said, you got to take

this off. He goes, well, we don't normally do that. I said, this is ruining my night. You got to So eBay went in and they went in three days, you will be changed back to one hundred percent. So we will strike that because he's inconsiderate. So I wrote him back and I said, you know what, you can take your narcissistic attitude and shove it. eBay is putting me back to one hundred percent. So fuck you. So I said, I'm glad I didn't say fuck you. I said, so,

you know what, you can keep your review. I'm glad you didn't get the flip. Enjoy your life. Can you imagine being such a nasty prick that you leave someone a negative review, even though it was not my fault. He wants me to burn You gave it. At the end of the day, you gave him the money back. That shows right there that that you weren't around him. Wow. Wow, Fuck you Sam from South Carolina. Another Sam, Fuck you, Sam. Imagine that I didn't care that, I said. I was

upset about it. I'm like, you got your money, but I've been nice to you every step of the way. I need to see proof. How can I prove to you a negative I can't prove they lost it. I can only tell you. So, I said, so, what are the options? See this scary? What could have been the other option? I paid thirteen dollars for the label and I kept it. I kept the flirt and I didn't ship it. You might as well at this point, knowing that he's an asshole, you I keep it, you keep

it em. So where's the flirp? No idea? Where the flip is? The Flip's gone a second. No, now that's a fight. That's a fight. I need you to fight. Find it with the post office. Don't they owe your money? Isn't there some kind of insurance going on here? What I said to Sam from South Carolina? I said, you know what, For all I know, you took advantage of the fact that there's no tracking information. You could have received the FLIRP. You reported that you never got the flirp,

and you got your money back. I should leave a negative review on you. But guess why EBA hasn't let you do that anymore. You can't leave a negative review on the buyer. You can't. You can only leave a positive review. Nope, can't leave a negative view on the buyer. Why Otherwise I would have written twelve paragraphs why? Because they don't because they don't want you being vindictive like

I was going to be. Why Yeah, But but you see that's where eBay is wrong, because if you were able to leave a negative on the buyer, he would he would think twice before leaving a negative on you, because you guys could you guys could be vindictive to each other. See this is it's unfair, unfair advantage. I think eBay did a bad thing by taking away that

ability thing. eBay wanted buyers to feel comfortable leaving negative reviews to the sellers to increase sellers caring more about being good, and so there's no The downside is this guy has no worries that I'm gonna, you know, right back and give him negative review for being a douche.

two reminders. What is wrong with people? There are a bunch of trucks. What kind of people? What kind of client? Tele is lurking on eBay these days? Does anyone does anyone who's a slice listening still use eBay? I mean are they using other things?

positive feedbacks. But speaking I want to I want to give a shout out speaking of Facebook, Kristin Marie m A R I E. Kristin Marie, what do you know? I sent you a video? Did you watch the video I sent you? No? So Kristin Marie does a video. All her videos are as an old white woman. She's a young girl, but she does all her videos as like middle aged Midwestern, not middle age like a boomer, right,

A boomer Woman is her character. So she's typing in this video and she says, I want to sell and she does a whole bunch of things, I want to sell concert tickets, and then she does the old lady responding back on Facebook. I have a hard time with my ears, so I don't go to concerts and then she then she goes, I'm gonna oh, I'd like to get put my cat up for adoption, and she types and then she does the old lady bitch, I'm allergic to cats, so I'm not going to adopt your cat.

In other words, the whole video is about old people how they have to comment on Facebook when you ask a question. So she goes, I'm looking for a plumber, and then she does the old lady. My son was a plumber, but he died in two thousand and seven. Just trying to be relatable, Just trying to be relatable. Yeah, So it's she it's a great video about all the things that people have to put up with when old

people have to comment. So all right, you know what, let's go to commercial because I can see your face.

Brodie has another bone to pick with me. I'm gonna let you tell the story, but when Scary comes, I'm gonna let you finish. But best album of all time? What? Oh? Thanks Kanye? Kanye? You just Kanye my tailor. I'm gonna let you finish. But Scary over the years has often come to the catering hall in the area nice restaurants, and he leaves it open ended. He'll text me and say, hey, man, I'm gonna be in your backyard, which I assume means he's gonna jump in my pool. But he's in my neighborhood.

What do I do with that? Do I say, oh, come over kay? What do I say? Huh?

and it was gonna be a fantastic time. And I'm like, you know what, Brody's right there. Let me call him right And then I think, wait a second, he's not really coming to dinner with us, but let me call him anyway and let him know. By the way, you did have the opportunity to say, hey, Brody, we're gonna be at this restaurant. You should join us. And and I'll tell you why I didn't do that, because there's part that's a part two to what I'm about to tell you. It's to finish part one. So I'm thinking

about the group of guys I'm going with. He's like six of us, and I'm like, mmm, I'm like, does Brody fit in this friend group hard? No, he doesn't. So that's strike one. Okay, strike two. These dudes are from the school of thought is you come to you come, you come to hang, You take a seat at the table, you participate in eating and drinking. We're splitting the bill evenly, no matter how much or hell littill you eat or drink. And and by the way, exactly yeah, and I know you, Brody.

I'm like, Brody, Brody first of all, is not gonna go shot for shot, drink for drink with these guys, That's for sure. Because these guys like busting out bottles of wine. They like to order seventeen apps, like I do. What do you think I get that from this? I'm like Brody's Bertie's like, I'm not gonna eat half of that, there's no And these dudes don't itemize bills. This is a day. Seven people at the table, the bill comes, we divide it by seven, and everybody ate and drank

like kings. And if you didn't, that's on you, you know, meaning and I know that you wouldn't have eaten half or drank half of the stuff. Three quarters of the stuff so that's another thing. And then the third thing, and I just know this a couple a couple of you told me you don't need to mention that a couple of these guys have different different attitudes and mindsets. And then I talk about other things that Brody wouldn't

you'll be able to fry. You'll be able to fry an eggun at Brodie's head, he would have debated these guys the debate. You would have just jumped in the ring and it would have been all out of war. So yeah, I gave you the courtesy of calling you to let you know that I was coming to your area because I didn't want you to find it, because I didn't want you to find out on Instagram later that I was gonna be in your area, like, oh, you know, you didn't call me, You're in my backyard.

So I wanted to let you know ahead of time because I knew that you'd be seeing some stories from me. It was almost like, hey, by the way coming through, but I'm not inviting you because of the reasons I just gave. So then we were you preemptively. You preemptively took care of any complaints I might have exactly, because I know that this whole podcast would have been about you bitching about the awful time that you had at dinner with me and my friends. It would have been

great content. Plus it could have written it off because it was for pod, the podcast the dinner off on my taxes. It's all good. You have You have on many occasions texted me, hey, man, I'll be in your area, but you never follow it up with anything. Then I go, what does that mean? Now? Am I a dick for not inviting you over to my house? I feel like am I is? He saying it? Like, so after dinner maybe I'll stop by. I was like, oh, great, that okay.

So I was like, it's what does that mean? So I was like so then later I was like, I don't know, I'm supposed to invite you over. He's like, no, man, I didn't drive, so I have to go home when the guy drives me home. So I was like, I'm off the hook. And it was at night. So my like, you know, by the way, the pool's open, but it's not clean yet, so you want to go in now? It's it's green and with dirt on the bottom. I

just opened yesterday, but yeah. So, yeah, so you were in my area and you didn't It's no, it's all good. I forgive you on this one. Yeah, I don't need to argue and overpay for ship as long as as long as as long as you know that it didn't come from a bad place, not like the time that I was at a party and called you from the party to let you know that. They would say like, Rodi, whyn't you here? I'm like, because you didn't tell me about it and I wasn't invited. Yeah. Oh, it's the

greatest party ever, dude, everybody's here. Everyone. I'm gonna give you a chance. I'm gonna give you a chance to join me and some old school Z E one hundred friends at a dinner that we're going to be having in about a month. School like sal Yeah, like Sala and Josh and people like that. Because okay, now, because the last time we did one of those, I also didn't invite you. No, you didn't, you didn't. How do you feel about it this time around? I don't know.

I'll tell you what the last time, the last two times you went out with the people who worked at Z one hundred, many many, many, many, many years ago. I remember thinking, look, it's scary and then nice. He kept in touch with those people from back in the day that used to work with him, Like those guys going back twenty years on, some of these dudes. Yeah, now I feel like I'm gonna be one of those guys. Well, now I'm the guy that used to work there. I'm like, oh,

I'm part of the group. Now you fit it even better. I can hang out now with all the people who don't work there anymore, Like, hey, Josh, remember what it was like to work there? Hey, hey, that's an interesting point. Yeah, when when I do hang out with that group of people, not the ones that I was talking about very much, by the way, not the people I was talking about before, but these group of people. Yeah, it does turn into

that that you start waxing nostalgic on. Like, hey, remember two thousand and two when we took the Flaming Red Hummer and we took it down the turnpike and we were on supersticker patrol and I called in and Frank and you know, Frank Kenally called into the radio station and you know, we you know whatever. I mean. It's weird because we always fall down that rabbit hole, whereas with everyone else I hang out with, we talket, we're up in talking about current things. But I feel like

this is like frozen in time. It's like going to that playground that that has just been abandoned and there's rusty swings and seesaws and stuff and then just growing tumbleweed everywhere, and it's just a kind of frozen in time. Like That's what it's like hanging out with this group of guys. Not that it's a bad thing, but I feel like I feel like when you're out, when we're hanging out with the current people that you work with,

talking about current stuff. Yeah, I feel like I see a light at the end of the tunnel, like Heaven calling me, and it's the people that used to work there at fifteen years ago. Come join our group. Now you can eat with us and talk about things nobody remembers. Yeah, that's fine, I'll be part of that that old group. I like those guys, and since I was there when they worked there, they like you too. That's probably an overstatement to clear they put up with you too. I'm sorry.

What No, I'm still Facebook friends and all those guys, Josh, I go back and forth on Facebook almost three times a week. No, it's sounds great. I've seen salop at Serious XM when he was working there. No, that's a good group. I'll call one right now. I should call Josh and be like, Yo, what's the other guy's name? He's working promotions Brandon Brandon, Bernie, Bernie Brandon mooch. Yeah,

I'm gonna call Josh real quick. If we get your permission to come, we can ask him live if he wants me to come now that, I'm gonna put him on the spot. Hello, Well, how's everything? Man?

That party was just being see you know, careful what you wish for? Brody? I was gonna tell him right up front. You were on the phone, Josh, Josh. Josh was concerned that, Uh, I wouldn't want to go, but I of course I'll go, all right, okay the Glen Boys podcast.

about dog Penis today. What yeah, erect dog Penis? What are you talking about? I'm gonna tease it here. I want I wanted told Darren on the phone. Uh, We're going to get him on shortly. But the short of it is long talk about last week at all. We didn't did I don't know if we teased this. I don't think we did. Did we talk about it? I don't think we did.

a flight. I'll join you for a couple of nights. Part one of this is really crazy. Uh. That is he shows up at the hotel and proceeds to did he get a room on your floor? Did he get a yeah, it's called my room. He actually he didn't book his own room. Why not? I don't know. With money. He's a CMO of a major company and he's like, hey, come on here. I'm like, all right, cool, let's go. But the thing is, my girlfriend and I were sharing a queen size bed, so that's okay for me and

my girlfriend. Yeah. Well, so Darren and I were hanging out in the hotel and uh he uh, you know he shared a bed with me. We shared the same bed from no no pull out? What could you clarify really quickly what you mean by pull out? There's no pull out, no pull out couch now, no cot, no pullout. There's really no room for it. Keep in mind where we're in the heart, the heart of Paris. And then you know, it's like a New York City think of

a New York City size hotel. They were all a bunch of shoe boxes, so you know, space is at a premium. So yeah, I mean, but I thought I couldn't even He just assumed he was going to sleep in your queen. He goes, I guess I'm gonna crash with you. I'm like, I cool, crash on the floor. That was weird. Nah, I can't do that. Can't do that to the guy. And we're old friends from way back. So when I can't, I ask, is it awkward for two grown ass men to share. Ask man, I leave

that out. He did the wall. He did the wall of pillows, though right between the two of you, we separated them. Let me tell you, when we were sharing beds down the Jersey Shore, we used to do that. We used to put up the fortress of pillows that divided down the center so we can kind of make it feel like we have our own beds. We didn't do that anything that right now, we don't bother anymore.

We're all we're older, we're mature. But is it awkward, because I sure as hell think thought I think it was. I brought it up to the morning show today on the Elvis Durantchow Crickets. Nobody found it awkward. In fact, it was an awkward moment of silence where they just like stared at me and no one said a word. And I'm like, hello, I'm like, nobody's gonna comment on this, So maybe I'm the crazy one. But I guess it's normal. I guess it's normal. No, I mean up a problem

with the for two. I'm not a problem with the two guys in bed. I don't have a problem. He lived on the wall of pillow, because I've seen trains, plans and automobiles hands wander at night. I have a problem with a guy volunteering himself to being a queen size bed even volunteer. I guess he was like, hey, I'm gonna I'm gonna crash with you. I thought maybe he was gonna get his own room, but he didn't at the hotel, but maybe that maybe there was a

miscommunication error, but that they were sold out. They were not sold out. But listen, he was saving money. So I said, all right, well, what did he buy for you? They say, my lunch, mesa suit, casa yeah me, hotel is not sue hotel. Now you probably paid I don't know. Let's just say three four hundred dollars for the room, because so now he owes me some money for the room. Is that what you said was your favor? Little something he saved. He saved himself one hundreds of dollars took

up your space. Did you get a little little little spooning going on anything? Those little robin tug I just didn't know. I want to hear some talkbacks from the slices. Is it awkward for two grown ass men again? We're not in their twenties by any stretch of the imagination. Why can't you just say you're adults? What's with the grown ass thing? We're adults, We're two adult men. Yeah, is there any Is there anything wrong with sharing a bed or not? I don't think it doesn't thing. It's

the problem sharing a bed. I'm sure there's people who shared beds with their friends. I the problem I'm having is that he volunteered himself to No, don't even go there. I'll stay in your room. Now, have a problem, kid. The weekend came and went, and I invited him, I said, I said, I invite in all fairness, I said, he come and went. All right, now that's gross. What are you doing over there? Nothing? Don'torry about me. Go I want your story. No, it's not a story. I'm just saying,

that's it. I posed a question. I'm moving on. What do you think this is a Brodie rant? Yeah? You should have like five more minutes. You fall apart over it? Birdi's birdies. You're you're fidgeting with your microphone over there.

boxes and t shirts on. It doesn't matter. You can fall out middle of the night. Grant little grab action. You're no, I'm just saying, scare. You and I have shared many a hotel room on many a business trip. Would we share a bed together? You and I know we Yeah, we've always had like twin beds in the room. If there was a mistake made, one thing to share. If we were on a party plane or a business trip,

and they're like, oh, Broughdan's scared. You're in the room three seven to two, and we walked in and there was a queen sized bed. Would you be like the fuck it?

problem with his dog. Well, I'm curious as to what the dog's penis has to do with this, because you said we got to talk about a wrecked dog penis. What have you said his dog's penis? You know how dogs have retractable penises ideah, oh, king missile, that's a big hit, the retractable that's detachable penish. Yeah, well his his his dog's penis wouldn't retract it just kind of.

And and he was away and his brother in law was watching his dog, and he got a call while he was away saying his dog's penis wouldn't go away, wouldn't wouldn't retract, and it's probably going to be an issue. All right, Well, speaking of penis, so he needed a remedy. So yeah, before we get him on, if I need your opinion on something. So one of my friends, I know him about seven eight years and uh, he's a friend of a friend, but he's a friend of mine now.

And I want to say, about four months ago, he and his wife got separated, okay, right, so he he moved out and uh, she stayed in the house and I was touching base with him, seeing what's up. I think we were talking about comic Con whatever. He's a sci fi guy, and I said, hey, man, how's it going. He says, well, be honest with you. Uh, this past weekend, my wife and I tiptoed through the tulips. Now, based on that, what would you think he was talking about? Had sex?

the kind of thing. I don't know. He's not, honestly, you understand WHATY So I go, wait, we we're excited for him. I'm excited that you and your wife are having sex because we didn't have sex. What are you talking about? He says, this past weekend, we went to a tulip farm in Connecticut and we went walking through the tulips. I was saying, we went tiptoed through the tulips. Like what you know, you made it sound like sex. If somebody says to you, scary, yeah, my wife and

I went tiptone through the tool Yeah. Absolutely. He's like, that doesn't mean sex. I go, dude, if you say any euphemism, it sounds like sex. If you're like, hey, my wife and I did a little grocery shop, you know what I mean, that's sex. That's sex. Hey, my wife and I rearranged the closets. Any I'll tell you what. Any euphemism anything like that guaranteed mean sex. I mean you could whatever you say, but we fry we we we we were frying some bacon. Yeah you're like, oh right,

that's what I'm saying. So slices, use the talkback feature on on the iHeart app. I want to know what you think, what you would have thought of if your friend who hadn't had sex in a while was suddenly like, yeah, my wife and I went tipped into the tubs this weekend, or even better, leave us your talk back on what your euphemism for sex is. Yeah, I want to. Yeah, you're like, oh, park the car in the garage this weekend. Oh you did nice. We went shopping and then we

came home and I ate the groceries. You know what I'm saying. Well, isn't there isn't there a song that was big on TikTok where there's a hip hop song. She goes, I want you to eat that booty like groceries. But you gotta eat the booty like grocery. Yeah, yeah, that was still is gotta eat the booty groceries. Scary is looking at the book because I don't want to. Don't tweet us eat the booty like groceries. Eat what song? We used to play that on the range Hearing did it?

She Hearing get sued for ripping met off from somebody. It's like, what song is it? And Whee's song Taylor Swift, It's it's called post to be, Oh, posed to be? Yeah, supposed to be? It's Omarion, Chris Brown, Chris Brown and Jenny Iako Aiko. How do you pronounce your name? Jennie Jenny Ako? I don't know. I'm still working on Kelly Cuoco from a big bang theory. I might let your boy show from me, but he gotta eat the booty

like groceries at his poetry. That song is several years old now, yeah, twenty fourteen, alost ten years old, but it was big on TikTok a couple of years ago. Yeah, we came back, came back and made a resurgence because who the hell says that? I mean, well, Omaran Mario, well whoever the girl is in it was a comedian that did a riff on that too, about like what it was it Chris Rock. Somebody did a whole bit on on that line from that song. But you better look it up now you're gonna get No, I'm not

gonna look it up. You gotta take a break, okay, and scary. If we're not getting down on the phone, then I should probably tell you the Chinese food restaurant story. Go for it. So I went to my favorite Chinese food takeout place, go in there for twenty years. I call up. They hear my voice and know who I am and how I like my food no vegetables. I know them, I know the family. Their son started a business. I hired him to do work on my house. I spent a lot of money there, a lot of money.

They're going there forever.

a sixteen sixteen point nine ounce bottle. You spend twenty five dollars and you get a free two lead a bottle of soda. Okay, and over the years that those numbers have gone up as the economy goes up, as he goes south. Yeah, if you spend a certain amount of money a lot more than they get the bottle of soda, you get a free General Chose chicken, which is like a eleven twelve dollars value. Who does love

General So's am? I right? Right? Okay? So I go in originally a Taiwanese dish, by the way, and there was no General so and if there was, there's no proof he like this chicken anyway. So I go and I order the food. I call up and order the food, and I go and I get there, and my total was forty cents short of a General Soace chicken. When I when I go to pay the bill, she goes, oh, go get your two lida bottle of soda. Go pick out your soda, because she knows I qualified at the

two liter bottle range. Now I got this giant bag of food, and I spend a lot of money and I got. One of the things I got was one time and I drop soup, no greens because you know it's vegetables. I got a bunch of other stuff. But I ordered a large soup. Now, when you go there and you order a small soup, you get a bag of noodles. When you order a large soup, get the same bag of noodles. I always run out of noodles.

Now again, I've been going at twenty years. So I go and get my two leada bottle of soda and as she's packing me up, I ask for extra duckt sauce. She throws it in the bag and I said, oh, can you do me a favorite? Can I get an extra bag of noodles? Because I always run out? She goes, oh, yeah, sure, fifty cents. What fifty cents? So I looked at her, like, you're gonna charge me fifty cents for a little shitty bag of noodles when I just spent a lot of money and I'm a regular customer. Wow. So I go

in my pocket. Balls, by the way, that's the kind of shit that gets me angry, that right there. So I'm like, what the fuck, Like it's me you could have just thrown in there. I just spent a lot of money. So then I go in my pocket for the fifty cents, and I realized to myself. Wait a minute, I just qualified for General SOA's chicken. So I said to her, you know what, add the fifty cents onto my bill. I would like a free General Soce chicken now,

so back fuck you. She looked at me and she goes, oh, I said, no broccoli, And I looked at her and I sweated. Guy, I went, were good the return of we good? Were good, but this one was legitimate, and this legitimate so the bag of new I wasn't gonna You know what, when I first got the bill, I'm like, oh, I'm forty cents short.

how about that? We very good? But let me okay that noodles cost her a general social So are you're gonna lift up the noodles though and pull a week good and walk out without paying? Had you not thought she wouldn't hand them to me? She knows. She held the bag up, she goes fifty cent. So I said what I didn't? I thought she was kidding. I thought she was gonna go haha. You paid a dime a dime for general sos chicken with no broccoli? Yep, yep, thank you? Do they give you more much chicken when

they delete the broccoli? Is that I'm gonna say?

instead not not not let us forget about the salad idea. God, your stories are so long. Oh yeah, they're they're awful. But if I if you start removing things in the base, remove the salad, remove and I don't want one kind of remove one kind of grit a salad, no salad, yes I would do. Or you remove the rice, or you remove the quene wat or something that bulks up and takes a lot of space in the bowl, we

get it. I always wonder if they give you more of the chicken, more of the protein, because they have to make it look full, they have to get to the small a bowl. They'll put it on a plate. Then no, these places are These places are one size plastic bowls. I'm saying. When you order a salad and you start taking out the unnecessary things and you just cobb salad where they put like a pie chart right where like they put the bacon in one yeah, the chicken and they egg out the bacon. Then they just

spread everything out. They don't give you more of the other stuff. It's pretty porta. What if I take out some salad leaves or what if I take out I don't want rice in my you know what in my my Chipotle bowl. I don't if I order if I order a Ruben sandwich, which is either cornby for pastrami Russian dressing and sala kraut and Swiss cheese, if I say no, sala kraut sub tomato, they don't say, Well,

the tomatoes the same price as sala kraut. They take the sala crowd out and they charge me with a tomato. And in my mind, I'm going, I'm taking something out and putting something in. Don't charge me more for that shit. So that no one's helping you out scary. No one's like, oh, let's get extra chicken because we saved on snow peas. They're not doing that. I think they do because they're embarrassed to hand you something that looks puny. No, no, you don't know. Then their minds are going on. This

guy don't want to let us fuck them. I don't. They have to fill it off to the top. It's like a visual thing. Low maine, no lomain. And see I'm a true's book. I get. Yeah, it's like that almost, but not that specifically. Not. I'm talking about items that have three or four ingredients in it and you remove one of the ingredients, oh, the least expensive one, but you keep that reminds me. Okay, no, go ahead, No what I'm just saying. Yeah, they're gave it an empty bowl.

I put it on a plate. Just go here you go? Is the shit you want it?

want that. Oh you know what else I want to find? What the fudge nut brownie from Drakes I had? I had a craving this week. Do they still make those? I remember them? I remember them. So Drakes was brought up by Hostess, and then Hostess was brought out by whatever company Little Debbie. Whatever company owns the Little Debbie now owns Drake's Cakes. Well, I called him yesterday to ask if I could find them anywhere. She says, nope, they were discontinued. And I go, I must have missed it.

Pandemic No. Twenty thirteen. So my favorite brownies that I used to get in every grocery store, every candy store, the little little nut, the little walnut in it, little walnuts. And then they had let that that thick layer of chocolate you could peel off. Yes, it was like gue each falklate. Oh yeah, they don't make that anymore. They don't. I'm devastated. I know it took me ten years to miss them, but now that I miss them, our Brooklyn,

our Brooklyn Intimates Entimens. Yeah, they don't make the maple cake anymore. No, but they're coming out with Intimate's ice cream sandwiches. Google them. Oh, google it right now. You're gonna there's like three four different kinds. Oh, I'm in for that. And with with the chocolate donut as like the the sandwich as the sandwich donuts. The best, actually the best cake on the planet is the Intimate's chocolate do they're making ice cream sandwiches from Intimates Intimen's ice

Cream sandwiches. Look them up. And if you know what Intimates is. It used to be a Brooklyn thing then in turn regional and I think it's national now, right, I think it's national. Now, Okay, that's not you need to move. They don't make as many of the products as they used to. They discontinue No, no, because other companies buy them. And then they're like they trim it down because they want to make a profit. That we needs profits. We don't need profit. Bring back to Brownie,

you son of a bit. We need a profit, Brony, we need to make profits now. No, I want to talk dog Penis, where's your boy? Wait? We got to take a break. We've got to make some profits, damn it. All right, past, I'm trying to get him on the line. All right, he's in me. We should do talkbacks at some point, Yeah, we could do talkbacks. I don't know. This was the segment He's like, I'll be there for

you guys. I'll be there for you guys. And we keep pushing and pushing and pushing, and here we are in our last segment and we don't have him on the phone. Well, I teased something on the share nos the Speaking Volumes podcast. I'm sorry, speaking Speaking Vibes might as well be the share Nose podcast, wasn't it. What do I get that name? Share Noses is one of the features that she does. Oh right right, yeah yeah, So I teased something on that podcast that we can

talk about this point we haven't talked about yet. It happened on the cruise I went on with my wife mm hm. We went to dinner at a restaurant on the Royal Caribbean ship called Wonderland, which is all Alison Wonderland themed, right, really good incredible food, but that they make the food look like stuff like some of these places that makes creative food, like they look like the mush shooms like we're made out of like merangue. And

that was craziness. Anyway, So the photographer comes over. My wife is sitting in a giant chair like an Alice in Wonderland royal chair. And he says, oh, let me get a picture of you two. You know what they do. They charge you like thirty bucks for the picture if you want it. So he goes, I'll go, I'll may take a picture of you, you guys. So I go around and I get on my knee so I could be at the same height as my wife in the chair. And he says to he says to my wife, He

says to me, rather, we'll get closer. Act like your lover they you know, cuddle, act like your lover, you know, like you know, like get romantic. So I said. So I looked at him. You know I can do him provs. I looked at him straight in the face. I went, sir, this is my sister. That's kind of weird. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean I assumed you were a couple. Oh please, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. That's funny. And I said, no,

I'm only kidding. It's my wife. I'm only kidding. He goes, oh, oh, you scared me. He goes, ah, I messed up once before, and I thought I messed up again. I said, what happened? What did you do? He said, I'm so embarrassed. I messed up. I happened. He goes, well, there was a couple, a husband and wife, and uh, she was pregnant. And so when he got next to her for the picture, I said, why don't you you know, uh uh do a picture where you put your hands on the baby

and kiss the baby. And she says, I'm not pregnant. Oh ouch. So he basically called her fat. Never assumed so much pregnant never ever. Oh my god, that is rule number one. I learned that years ago, years ago. So he told this guy to basically kiss his wife's pregnant belly and she's just heavy. I love that. So he thought he fucked up again when I said, no, she's my sister. So that's why he got like, yeah, remember the time we were out of a play. We

were and we were on the street. We met a couple of listeners and this guy was like in his sixties and he was with a girl like in her mid twenties, and he's like, Oh, it's great to be out here. We're having a great time. And I'm like, oh, so you brought your daughter to the city to the show. That's not my daughter, that's my girlfriend. Tall foot in mouth, the whole morning show. I did this in front of everybody. Elvis, the whole crew is there, and I'm like, uh, okay,

sorry about that. Yeah, so well, all right, I did that to someone that you know, we were at a thing together and he and his wife had had a baby. I want to say, a year ago, you know, to this event, maybe eleven months, ten months, whatever, And I don't often, didn't often see his wife and she comes to this event and you know, again, this is like fifteen years ago. She looked like she was pregnant again,

like the way that she was recovering from pregnancy. She was heavy in the belly area, but not heavy everywhere else. And I know that's normal. I know that now, and I allowed the way you do it closes heavy in the middle. Yeah. Sorry, So I said to the guy song, Hey, congratulations on the you know on uh you know, I'm pregnant again. Yeah, and he's licensed to me because uh well all right man, but you know the baby's like

eleven months old. But that's so so I quickly backed out of that park verse and I went, yeah, I know, but I haven't really seen you. And I was just like, yeah, you go. Being the father three, I was just saying, man, congratulations, you know, kick saving. But for a second, I went like the record scratch sound effect, like I hit the and I was like, oh my god, she's not pregnant again. I thought like there was a turnaround, like, you know, the baby's like out? Can me get another one going?

So I saved myself there. He gave me the out. We got some talkbacks. Oh, if you're watching on the air listening on the iHeart radio app, feel free to hit the microphone leave us a talk back on to what we're saying. Let's see what even by the way, even if you listen on another app like Spotify, if you want to tell us something, then just open up the Diheart app and leave a message. You enough have to leave the talk back the second you hear something

that's true. Most people do it in the moment, though I found.

That's okay. Well that's bad. No, you can't say me and my friend because you wouldn't say me went to the restaurant. All right, I can't the sentence with the word me. There are no sentences that start with this the word me. I don't care anymore, all right, Well, I don't know, Okay, Yeah.

a mammal. But wait a second, it is porpoises. Although they are similar in appearance to dolphins, are more closely related to narwhals and belugas. That's because of the hump on their head. They're a different shaped head. But I assure you they are mammals, all right. And I don't know why you wouldn't look at look that up. And a mammal gives birth? Is that what makes it a mammal? It gives actually gives birth like you know, like we do like humans. Mahi mahi are known as dolphin fish. Okay,

but they're not dolphins. They're not dolphins. That's like a sea monkey. It's not really a monkey, right, Okay, glad we cleared that up. Spider crabs.

there was three trees on the block. I didn't grow up knowing how to mow my lawn. And then when you get old enough to buy a home and you've reached a point in your life where you can afford a home, because the homes are crazy in our area, the last thing I want to do as an adult is mow my lawn. So everyone, I would say, either the twenty five houses on the block, twenty six or whatever it is, eighty percent of the people hire a

lawn service. To hire services. They seed the lawn, they fertilize the lawn, they trim the lawn, they trim the hedges, they do all the stuff I'm not qualified to do now could after working two jobs for twenty four years, the last thing I want to do is come home and do more work. So I find my time is more valuable. I would rather pay someone who's better at it a nominal fee to do the work so I don't have to also have a bad back, so I don't want to push the lawn more around. And it's

not it's not that it's not noble. It's not that it's not If that's what you do, great, But I didn't grow up where my dad was like son and learn how to mow the lawn. Yeah, I didn't. I washed the car because he was like, go wash the car. He's a shammy. But no, I raise Gary. I think maybe if you make good on that.

I'll pause that I'll invite you on a rainy day to come to go in the pool, and you'll say, no, man, it's raining, and then I'll claim for years that I invited you and you turned it down the way you try to detect the canty.

to remind people. If you're going to reference something from a couple of weeks ago, you gotta tell us what you're set it up, tell us what you're talking. Set it up, set it up, shut it up full Send Hi b boys.

we don't get to talk about the erect dog. No, this is you know what this We're gonna We're gonna prolonged. We're gonna prolong this. We're gonna leave We're gonna leave the penis out the same way it was out for the dog. We're gonna leave it out for another week. Oh, we're gonna have to let it hang for another week, if you know what I'm saying. Yep, Look, we're not

putting the lipstick back in the tube. Sorry, guys, I know you're disappointed that we don't get the doggy dick conversation on the that was and by the way, we were most excited to give you that this week. And you would you please admit to the slices that you tease the doggy Dick. Just say to them, I'm sorry. I teased the doggy dick. I'm sorry I teased the doggy dick. How long did you do that? For the whole podcast? I teased, Wow, you tease the doggy dick

the whole the wather it was hard so long. Sorry, Look at him. He's in London time, you know, through the tulips with his girlfriend this weekend. Yeah. Brooklyn Boys Boys