#254: Eating Your New Friend

I love when there's a that that people like to see, the palindromes or the dates of the year and the month, like, for instance, did you know that the last day of this coming year here, the year that we're in, is one two three one two three? Eh? Eh, that you didn't know that? Wow? You know you know what that means? What not? Nothing? Nothing. I'm glad you said it. Twelve thirty one twenty three is one two three one two three, So the last day of the year is gonna be

one two three one two three. Brody, I was so exciting. What about people with the angel numbers? We talked about that once. Well, how don't I get in that four four four three three three. Oh how about Uh So when I used to work at a restaurant and sheep

said Bay Brooklyn called rolling roaster. Right now, people in books are going, oh my god, So I was a manager there, but I would you'd work the register because the managers worked the registers a lot, and the numbers would go one to one thousand and then reset, so you always had like a three digit numbers like nine nine nine was the highest and then it would go

back to zero, zero, one, whatever. Yeah. And so if anyone got a number that was like four to one four, if they were gamblers, they go, oh, that's a good number, and play that number. Yeah. First of all, I don't care, Like, just go live your lab. I don't care. And then it's no better number. The machine that picks the random number from one to one thousand doesn't know what a good number is. Yeah, right, Like, oh, my number is is six six three six. That's a good number. It's

a number, it's not another number. Yeah yeah no, but in one thousand and one odds you're gonna win, right, And that's you know, people have they favor certain numbers for gambling, playing roulette. You know, they said, if it's if it's a birthday day. It's like, it's like, okay, coincidence, I get it, you know what, other things. But people do like to play with numbers, and they like to see patterns and things and call them out, which again I've got I've got a problem with that. No, just

I have to remember it's a gambler's fallacy. There is no pattern. It's like, oh, the number thirteen hasn't come out in a year, so gamble it. The machine doesn't know what happened. Silly things that have nothing to do with with gambling, like the year one two you know, the date of one two three one two three, or the day that it was twelve twelve twelve, you know on December twelfth two. People get married on those days. I understand that because it makes it easier for you

to remember your your anniversary. At least you remember the day you will you got married. But if you get married, like, uh, let's say you get married on nine nine oh nine, right, that's cool that that was your date. But when you're married thirteen years you're you're married, you know your anniversary is on nine to nine twenty two, it's not as cool anymore. Brodie's at that bad in your house, by the way, that that that you don't feed you dogs

that they're crying for food? Right now? What is going on? Those? Those are the dogs that are that are barking on the window. Oh, either they're whimpering for food, Like, no, that's not how they They don't whimper for food. Do you remember the classic classic old Doctor Demento song I'm looking over my dead dog Rover. That's a parody of I'm looking over a four leaf clover. Right, so as I'm looking over my dead dog Rover who got hit with a power more one leg is missing and the

other is gone. The third leg is scattered all over the lawn. That's the kind of shit I grew up with, which is why I ended up rinning parodies for a living. Anyway, so I used to laugh about all the time. It's a funny song about the dog get hit by the lawnmower. Yeah, now, so not so funny. I'm in the backyard a couple of days ago, and I have the three dogs and

they're in my backyard. My backyard is mostly fenced in, but one side is not because the lawnmower guys have to come in on the riding the lawnmower, so they have to have access to get into the backyard. So they come in from the left side. My back of my yard is fenced, and the right side is fenced and so and then the house. But the left side has got an opening. So the three dogs are in the backyard, no leash. They wouldn't dream of running out

of the backyard necessarily. And I hear, oh, that's a lawnmower. But everybody on the block gets the lawn done, so I'm like, oh, could be anybody's. So I go over to the edge of my property and I look and I see the guy on the writing more make it his way full speed towards my backyard. All I could think about was that song and dogs getting chopped up by a lawnmower. So I in a panic. Oh my gosh, hurting the cattle I was herding the dogs. Go up the stairs because I have a deck. So they go

up the stairs to get back in the house. Go upstairs, go upstairs, and one of them was like, oh, what's that noise? So I had to run and grab him and pick him up because all I could think about was that stupid old song and a dog getting chopped up by then, it wouldn't be so funny when it's my dog. Wow, I see, I I didn't. I don't recall or retain songs like that. I always remember the stupid ones, like on top of stupid, But I couldn't you know, that's that's I mean, that's morose. I remember,

like on top of spaghetti or covered with cheese. I lost my poor meatball because of his sneeze. Like those are the songs I remember, Yeah, but that's not that's not an actual song. Table on the floor and I lost. Then my poor meatball rolled under the door. But think about it, how much space is under the door that your meat ball is gonna roll under the well? A lot of that stuff. If you think about when we were kids, that we even songs we listened to or

shows we watched. You look at them now, you're like, what was I thinking? How did I find that funny? Like I used to think shows like Different Strokes and Facts of Life were hilarious, but you they were back in the day. No, No, they not. The humor was different. We viewed humor differently, is what I think. We just changed. But no, no humor was different, and we that was what we thought was funny. Like I just I just see some of the storylines and some of the dialogue.

Mon It's stupid's dumb, a lot of it, and I'm like, oh my god. When I was eight, this show was the world to me. But the humor boat I was that's another one. I was watching an episode The Greatest Show every week. Right, you watch a clip now you're like, oh, it's cringeworthy. Yeah, cringey, it's creepy. A lot of that stuff would never go on today. Forget about that conversation. That's a whole other thing, you know, with the whole you know, cancel culture. But I'm talking about the dumb

dialogue and the silly things that got laughs. I don't know. Again, I think we've changed. I don't think I think that stuff was always stupid and it was always moronic. No, but that but but okay, of course it changed because they don't make shows like that anymore. Our humor changed, which is why they don't make shows like that anymore. So you're saying there was an audio for that, kry go watch music videos from when you were seventeen. They're

embarrassingly bad. Yeah, everything changes, right, it's a matter of adapting to the times. It's a matter of buying new electronics. And so we've all progressed. So we look back at today what you're saying, No, of course we will. Scary look at when I started with you in radio. Right when we started in the late nineties, we were recording on cassettes and digital audio tape. That that's gone, that's out of here, that's real to real like but the formats of Okay, yeah, listen to the show we did.

If people heard the Elvis Durant Morning Show from nineteen ninety nine two thousand, it's nothing like the show now. Oh no, not at all, not in the least. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that we we did, but well for what we live there, so it sounds completely different. No, no, no, but it sounds different. Elvis pushes the envelope much more now, you know he didn't there were things he wouldn't discuss.

Doesn't sound the same, don't you agree? Yeah, So are we going to look back at this in ten twenty years and be like that was foolish? Why did I'm looking back on the conversation we're having him? Think it sucks. So I don't know, it's just something introspective. Would you call this introguer? Cargo shorts cargo short? Why did we ever like them? Yeah, if you want to talk about fashional I love cargo shorts. But I wore cargo shorts when I was twenty Yeah, and then we wore cargo

shorts again until seven eight years ago, I guess. And now all the stores are selling cargo shorts again. Yeah, so I guess. So does that mean with humor and comedy, it'll do it. It'll go full circle, We'll come back some comedy. If you watch a comedian, a legendary comedian like George Carlin, you go want people put his stuff up on TikTok and on on Instagram all the time because it's still relevant. You watch it and you go,

oh my god, it could be today. And then there are some comedians you watch it and you go, oh, this was funny, Yeah, this was hack. I watched some old Paul Riiser sketch. I love Paul Riser. Yeah, okay, perfect example. You remembered loving him because of the material he was doing at the time. Right, Watch some of his stuff from the eighties and nineties now and tell me that you still love it. You're gonna have that

different You're gonna have the different strokes effect. You're gonna be like, what, why did I find this funny?

you just hitting the bumper? And we've good to an outatore go to commercials. I'm looking at I'm looking at the clock. It's a good number. Wow, four Look forty four. We should go to break four for four? Is it? Is it? One one one one eleven? One one one no one one one one? Is it eleven eleven?

of the day. I'm talking about the real time. Okay, what about more importantly, no one's gonna know what time we What about one forty nine and fifty seconds? Oh, that's a good play that number one four nine fifty Are we there yet? Right? Yeah? One fifty seconds? Boys, podcast? We will be right back. That was the worst thirty seconds of podcasting in your podcast? Do you mean thirty minutes, eleven minutes, twelve minutes? No, just that last part where

you wouldn't hit the button. I was toying with you. You know what do you expect?

in pizza in in Pizza Ria selling pizza. I went, I'm not going to mention the pizza place because that happened to be very good. The pizza is very good. You know, sometimes the pizza is in it's in the glass case, it's in the on the shelves. You know how long it's been there. Yeah, okay. So I walked into this place that I gone to before. They're very good Sicilian or square if you prefer. And uh, there was one slice in the window on the tray. It looked like it was a year and a half old.

It just was all dried out and it was just it wasn't from that day. Like I am not eating day old day old Oh Harry belove Rest in piece rip piece Harry Belafonte was old day old pizza. Come man, me won't. Yeah, Okay, So the pizza looked though, So I said, do you have any fresh Sicilian coming out?

And the guy in front of me says, he looks in the OVENI is no, no, sorry, So I said, well, let you have no square pizza your pizza place, really none, because I'll wait if it's going to be no. So then the guy to his right in my left at the register looks over at him and says, yeah, we do. And the guy's like what And he does like a with his chin, like a like giving directon over there. He does like a thing with his head leg down.

He's pointing down. So the guy goes, oh, yeah, we got more Sicilian and he bends down Secret Sicilian, Secret Sicilian, my favorite spy movie. And he opens a drawer and in the drawer he takes out a box of pizza. And in the box of pizza is fully cooked square pie. How did it get there? It's in a drawer, It's a pizza draw It's a drawer of pizza, old pizza in a drawer, old dashing stashing pizza in the drawer from when. I don't know. I don't know if the

drawers heated or not. But why would you keep it in a box? Why would you heat it in a box in a drawer and then try to sell it to me. So I say, you know what, no, thank you, And my friend and I go and we get other pizza and we sit down eat the pizza, and my friend says to me, you know what, No, I I needed. So I had to go because we were at outdoor tables and they didn't have the So I go back inside to get the oregano and in the pizza window on the ledge is the reheated square pie that I

know they just took out of a drawer. Like so they went from the fresh pizza anymore. They went from the drawer and they when no one was looking, they put it in the window. And now if someone wanted to in the oven, they must have reheated it. Yeah, but now people are thinking it's fresh or they wanted right. They wanted to at first convince you, but they lost you because you saw them in the process. So I was in a different pizza place yesterday in a craving

square pie from one of my favorite places. I'll tell you where it is. That's Forte in West Caldwell, New Jersey. And so I'm not not always in that area, but I was in that area yesterday. I went in for a square slice and they reheated it. But it looked good. It was fresh looking. And as I'm standing there by the way, they don't charge for credit card, so I made a credit card purchase for four dollars no charge,

thank you. As I'm standing there, the guy takes out a fresh round pie, cuts it up, puts it in the window right next to me. I'm like, you know what, give me a slice of that too, a fresh piza. No world, in a world of reheated ship cardboard pizza sitting in the window all day, you cannot say no to a pie that comes right out the oven. When it's coming right out of the oven. Man, No, I'm with you. I'll eat triple the amount because it just because it's fresh. Well, there's nothing like it. You can't

tell me reheated pizza tastes the same, does not. I mean you could wake it up, you could do things. You could put in a frying pan with olive oil, and you could, like, you know, put it on a chocolate that pie and a frying pan that you're just you're full of them today, Brody, Well, that's yours. I stored. I gave you a chance, I wouldn't do it. I was thinking about you when I was on my trip, you know, I just got back from vacation then naked.

I was wondering how you would make out in the situation. And I'm like Matt Birdie's Birdie would be out. So you know, I went to Lisbon and I went to Paris. By the way, never believe what you see on TikTok. I mean the Eiffel Towers not really tall, No, they were just people were putting false TikTok stories out there, saying things like, oh the garbage is pile it up, the place is on fire. You don't want to go to Paris. They're doing protests everywhere. Right, it was New York.

It was like, okay, so many people who like politically don't like New York. Oh it's a war zone. It's crime everywhere. Oh it's not. There's you know what, there's a maybe on one day in a one square block radius. There were some protests going on, but this happened in every country, every day, every country, no matter where you were. Right, So they raised their retirement age. So people are protesting in France. Yeah, so so then make it a bad place.

It was it was anyway. So Paris was awesome, Lisbon was great as well. I have some stories I want to tell, but I really, did you see a lot of lesbians? What I could? I was self? I am a self proclaimed lisbian. I am I was a self proclaimed proclaimed lesbian. Yes, does that mean your girlfriends of lesbian? Yes, she's but we're both lisbians. Nice for the week we were, but you know, and I'll get her on the on the phone first. Something we got to talk about later on.

But she's in meetings right now, which I think that you would maybe hopefully side with me on, but these days can't be too sure. So so we in Paris. She had to go home halfway through the trip. She had some stuff she had to do, so entered Tall Darren, my buddy, my old buddy. We're tall Darren. Yeah, yeah, I told her he was in London. Now he made a trip for the weekend. So he's in Paris with me and we're at dinner and he's like, I want to go to a real French beastro, like a real

authentic one. So we found a place that was the quintessential mom and pop literally run by mom and pop where Papa was out front and mom was cooking, okay, you know, and we were eating this French country food right. It was like very much, you know, the peas and the carrots and the stews and whatever whatever it is that that's traditional French there. But you know, so at a great cost. You know, chalkboard menu, everything's written down on a chalkboard, like their offerings. So one of the

things on the menu were duck hearts. Was you know, duck hearts, duck hearts as an appetizer. So I'm taking my by the way shout out to iPhone. All I had to do is point that bitch at the chalkboard menu, open up my camera, point it, and then hit the translate button. It translated everything right there from French to English. And and so we wanted to this appetizer, that appetizer, but stayed away from the duck hearts. So the the guy in his French accent, was very offended. How could

you not try to duck hots the duck cots. This is this is the delicacy. Come on and and me and my friend were.

a real heart. It was like a heart shape like the size of a friggin quarter, But it was a heart. It was the heart of a duck. It definitely. He was a duck heart. So but anyway, we said no three four times, and then we get our appetizers and he hands and he puts down the plane of the duck hearts anyway, so like duck. So they were deep fried, which made it a little better, you know, that's the shoot that's the silver lining. Scared doesn't say no to

fried food. This is silver lining, and we eat them. We eat them, and I gotta say, the motherfucker was right. I loved it. They were so good. But I you know, but on a normal day I wouldn't have entertained it and had to be literally crammed down my throat for me to try them. Well, why was the guy so excited for you to try to whether they are like one hundred dollars each and he got you to pay?

They were, they were a delicacy, but they were like, you know, fifteen dollars, a ten dollars, fifteen dollars advertisers. But the conversation just came up with like out of nowhere. He's like, you got to have the heart. So you're like, yeah, because they were final. They were only five appetizing Yes, I made a joke. There were five appetisers on the menu.

And I'm like, well, we're gonna do this this and we're gonna skip the duck hearts because yeah, because you scared, as we all know, Scary Jones appetizers for the table, give me all of them or we do some sharing. But you know I did all of them, but the hearts that originally shame on me. I liked duck hearts. The duck carts were good. They And you know another

thing that I don't eat normally is for gras. But I know that wuah for gras, which is liver, but it's qua gras foa gra, yeah, fuegra, not forour gras, four gras. I am not. I am not for gras. I am not four gras. But I gotta say even that was awesome. And the paatee what you know they do the chicken paate whatever it is. The livers they're their liver, but they're but they're mixed with like things. And then and then I had asked cargo. I had snails in the shell. They were in the shell and cooked.

But when I pulled it out with the fork, it tasted like it tasted like pesto, garlic and butter covered snot or covered chicken. It didn't have a flavor to it. It wasn't bad. These are earth earth snails. They're very good as opposed to Martian snails well as opposed to their land snails. Opposed to sea snails. You can't eat a sea snail. You can only eat land snails. You can eat it scary, well, you can. It's not going

to be very good. But do you know that it's considered a mollusk, which means it's seafood, as cargo is seafood. Didn't you bet? You didn't know that. I didn't know that. So I tried that. I tried a bunch of things that I normally wouldn't And you know, obviously there was the usual, the croissants and the fries and the you know, did you bang the waiter? What are you talking about? You said you tried some things you wouldn't normally try. Oh, where's just going? My point is, have it all card on,

Have an open mind, Have an open mind. I didn't have an open mind at first, but I ended up with it. Was forced to be open because they put it in front of me. I'm like, well, I'm not were you forced to be open? Not gonna? Why are the sexual innuendos you? Okay? You over sext an? Did he see your innuendo? You? You're out of your mind? Dude? Anyway? Okay, Sorry, So you ate some shit that you wouldn't normally eat,

You're okay with it? Yeah? I was fine. You're saying I should have eaten box of pizza in a drawer draw a pizza. No, because that's stale. If it's fresh, I'll eat anything fresh over something that I love that's stale. You know you can't eat pizza from the ocean. I don't know if you know that. You have to eat Land. Okay, Land pizza. You're funny motherfucker.

you at two dollars and sixty cent restocking fee. I said, but it's broken. Yeah, but because it's past the return date, I said, I know, but it's supposed to last a year at least. It's got a one you warranty. Yeah, we have to charge you a restocking feet. I said, wait a minute, it's broken. You're not going to restock it. You're going to throw it out. Why am I paying you two and sixty cents to throw out something that's broken. It's cracked in ahead. You can't resell it, you can't

fix it. What restocking is if like, you have to put it back on the shelf. You have to rewrap it. It's broken. You always catch these people doing something downright right dirty, just well that's what I have to do. It's past them. But it's not. I'm not return it. It's defective, so I'm giving it back to you. I feel like this is happening before. Did we talk about that before?

that an ancient city like this was still standing. Well oh well no, people don't realize that's ever been same as it ever was. Lisbon was one of is one of those cities that is unexpectedly awesome because they never got into fights with people where they destroyed their ship. You know, I said this, you know, to a lot of my friends. You know how Athens is in you know is in ruin. You know there's like Rome like

this is like okay, shit is nothing on. You're talking about stuff that's like things that you're just five thousand years old, right, But the point is with Lisbon, this buildings that are standing from the fifteen hundreds, thirteen hundreds, fourteen hundreds, they had it. They did have an earthquake in seventeen fifty five, but anything that was left was intact and beautiful, and they had these little cobblestone streets. It reminded me of Barcelona. You know, you brought up Barcelona.

But it was beautiful, it was and we had the best seafood over there. And I wish my girlfriend went into the phone because I really wanted to talk to her about about her crying over lobster. Did you why would you Cary have a lobster because she met her food, she met her dinner. The guy the waiter came out with the lobster and he tickled its neck and it started flapping its little tail, and then she she in horror. She was like whoa, And he went back into the

kitchen and then she started crying. So I had a big problem there because she's loved lobster her whole life, and now all of a sudden she's finding out that ninety percent of the lobster she eats in restaurants is probably alive just minutes before, because lobster goes rancid if it's dead for a while. Yeah, or unless it's frozen, you freeze it right away. But most restaurants don't do that, so most of the lobster you're eating is coming from a tank which is alive, and they throw it right

into the pot. So my girlfriend started crying and she's like, I can't eat it because I met it. I mean, you didn't develop a relationship with it. So if you saw the lobster, you would you'd like, look at the lobster, shake its claw and then take throwt in the pot. Yes, all right, I would asking it's the circle of life. Okay, all right, let me ask you a question. Ask here Johnson, Oh no, the waiter in France wherever it was this hold on says monsieur, welcome to the rest of run.

Would you like to try the duck hearts? And you're like yes, sure, and they go here is the duck. Okay, okay, that's unfair. That's not the same. It's not the same analogy. They bring the duck to the table and they go pick which duck? These two ducks, which one would you like to eat? The heart up? I hate you, hold on, Mike Drop, I hate you not to say you're talking about a part of a duck. Yeah, okay, we're talking about as opposed to the lobster. But and and a

lobster is lower on the tote ball. It's a crustacean. A lobster is a lower form of life. It's okay to look at a lobster and I think there's a pecking order here. What about okay, is anything that pack you don't eat live? Yeah, like if it was a chicken, yeah yeah, yeah, I actually put a rabbit. People do this with turkeys. What about when you go to a turkey farm. We had that place back in Denville, turkey farm that back in the day. You used to be able to used to be able to pick Denville. I

think it was Denville, doesn't matter. He used to pay turkey farm. Yes, you could go in the back and see, I want that turkey. The turkey I didn't. You used to pick the turkey and used to be able to say I want that one, and then it would end up on your plate an hour later. Allegedly you don't know for a fact, Well you don't know for a fact. They could have been a gimmick. But the idea was there. What's you do it? You look up Will Larrison's was it was in chester Chester.

oh yeah, that and then kill it and done. I think that for some reason, we look at chickens and ducks and turkeys. Would you okay, would you pick out a squid? Sure?

the sea. If you see, yeah, like a gazelle, a dumb animal, not with a sweat, then it's for me. I just don't know, man. What about pigs? So I think once you start talking about pigs and cows, I think you're in a different So you couldn't pick out a cow. No, I couldn't meet it. What about what about meeting the cow? And then it ends up as steak. That's what I'm saying. How about people who like have a pet pig and they're like, well, we got hungry.

I know that there are people who like the pigs gone. Yeah, well right, well, there are people who sing to this podcast right now that are saying that they live in the heartland of America where they either you know, a turkey of chicken a pig might have ended up on their plate. For sure, that was a pet that was a pet at one time, and either they were told to lie that oh yeah, ran away or got away, or they were told early on in life, you know,

our our farmhouse friends are not friends. They're not don't develop a relationship with them. Their their meat, their food. I don't know. I coming from the city, we we can't really relate so city folk. But I just couldn't believe my girlfriend because it looked like we were fighting in the restaurant, because it looked like we were in a fight, and she was crying and I'm like, oh, and I'm looking around and I'm like, nothing to see here.

She's just lost it over over this lobster. And the lobster, yeah, because the waiter came out and had to do a trick with the lobster. They're like, oh, watch it dance, watch the lobster dance. That's too much. That's too much. I feel like the European waiters are pushy. They're making you eat duck heart and and they're they're showing you the lobster. Is that like supposed to be cool. I'm not doing that. Tank You don't think, okay, you don't think.

There are people that have that have like lobsters. They you know, they're having lobster for dinner, and then they'll just take the rubbervan off the claws or whatever the case, and they'll have them race across the living room floor or the kitchen floor to you know, before they form in the pot, have a little fin would take the rubber bands off, then they could they could keep the rubber bands on when you cook them. Well, we'll see if they can go, if they could race race across

the floor. Okay, So someone on Facebook was talking about eating lops. How funny would that be? No, it's not funny. I'm not doing that. But tell me what your thoughts on this. They were talking about the inability to eat a live lobster. The similar to what we're talking about. And so somebody said, when you put them in the pot of boiling water, you can hear them screaming. No, you can't, which hold on, it's the it's the hot

air going through the shell. Correct. But even so the fact that you can't hear them screaming, you know they're screaming, right. So one woman's solution to causing the lobster pain but not trying not to cause them pain, she said, if you put them in the freezer first, then put them headfirst into the boiling oil, they don't scream. Now again

they don't scream. But so your your idea to cause them less pain is to put them in a freezer and freeze the live lobster so you can die from frost, and then you put them in or she So then someone someone wrote wrote that's it's that's cruel and sepe No, no, no, you don't freeze them till they frozen. You just freeze them to chill them. Then you throw them in the pot. What you're you're boiling a lobster alive. Anyway you look at it. Like her, her idea was to put it

in the freezer. Scary, if you're going in a pot of hot water. You want to be in the freezer first, probably, like at that point, does it matter? That's her theory. I'd better as you put it in the freezer, right, I'm just done? Damn it. Why couldn't I be a due either way? I sort of did see a video of a crab walking through uh the sand or whatever, and all of a sudden it was in a land arm. It's it's one of its arms stopped working and it

was just dragging the arm. So the right arm, the right claw just grabs grabs the not working arm and pulls it off, and it just keeps walking. But but they they regenerate, right, crabs regenerate? Yes, Okay, so I it said this thing stopped working. Fuck it, I'm gonna pull it off next, just keep walking. It was crazy. This is a YouTube video, anyway, was it? Yeah? Yes, sir? So uh you on Facebook? Nah, dude, and you know where I've lost interest as well as Twitter. I'm not

on Twitter. I forget it. Don't tweet me, but I mean it, don't tweet me, no, I I look, I occasionally go on to If you're looking for an immediate answer from me, don't tweet me it's it's irrelevant. I will go on. I will see messages left for me. But I check Twitter every couple of days now, and it's just like, I don't know, I feel like it's fallen off. But Facebook even worse. I barely post on Facebook. My You know, we have these these problems with people

who aren't helpful on Facebook. People share their their their stories with us and with me specifically because I know who complains about it. And uh, did I read the one about the vegan restaurant last week? No? Okay, so let me see if if I could find that one here. Hold on a second, the vegan restaurant. Yeah way, we're gonna get to your talk backs a little while. Oh fantastic, we got to talk somebody. So who sent me this, Ordra? If I read it two weeks ago? I apologize. Ordre

sent me this. Uh it's in her town Facebook page. Somebody wrote in search of a really good vegan plant based restaurant in North Jersey. Yeah so did I I think I read this? Joel wrote back, how about salad works? I don't really know of any. I have a vegan recipe if you want. The woman's asking for a restaurant to go to in North Jersey, and this person is like, I don't really know of any but I have a vegan recipe if you want, because the woman's clearly starving.

Oh my god, that it's not helpful. So well, they just want to just when you go on Facebook, they have suggested videos, and a lot of my suggested Facebook videos. Again, I'm on Facebook a lot, but when I go on is like math problems or trivia questions that you have to solve. So I love the responses that are always so bad. But people are so cocky. So this one was a hot dog and chips costs. The hot dog costs two dollars more than the chips, right, should be

hot dog costs. It's bad grammar. How much does the hot dog cost? So in order to the hot dog to be two dollars more than the chips, the hot dog has to be two dollars and ten cents and the chips have to be ten cents. Right, So anyway it works. Okay, this guy Kenneth writes, simple math, no calculator needed, and no explanation is how I arrived to my answer? Well, you're wrong. How could the hot dog

be two dollars. That would mean the chips are free. Yeah, but that's clearly not what they you know, I feel like, what's going My point is you get all these cocky people. Someone else wrote, it's clearly a dollar seventy five. How stupid are you people? Oh well, now, how stupid are you? Moron? So you know, I sell stuff on Facebook? Right, and I'm selling some dishes, old dishes we don't use anymore. They're collectibles, and I don't put up the price. I say,

DM me if you want the price. So people DM me and they go how much you asking for that dish or that bowl or what? That? Okay, but whatever. And this guy, girod Girard or Zerroid, he says, I don't know why you don't put the prices up. Why do you have to be difficult? Just put the prices up? So so I said, I wrote back, I said, he goes put the price. So I wrote back, nope, so you repeck, Oh no way, I have to have an attitude,

I said. I said, no, I'm selling this I said, nope, I'm selling this stuff the way I want to sell it. I don't want to put the prices up. And I don't to explain to you why I'm not putting the prices up, so between you and me scary. As soon as you put prices up on Facebook pages where old ladies who collect dishes are, there's always someone who'll go, I'll sell your mind for seven dollars he's asking ten, and then have to yell them. I go, get your own post, sell your own dishes to get off my post.

Wow do they do that? The under you on your own question? So now I don't put prices because if you put, like, oh, I want twelve dollars for this creamer, I go, I have a creamer and it's just in good condition. You can have it for seven less than what he's asking, and I'll throw in free shipping. So I don't put the prices up. Why do Girard's like telling you how to do things. So then he says you should. If you're not going to put prices up,

you should post it on Facebook marketplace. It'll be easier for everyone. I said, you know what, it's easy for everyone, but you so guess what. You don't have to buy my dishes, but don't tell me how to sell my dishes, fucking idiot. Then someone else writes fighting as if I'm not there, they write, Hey, Girard or gerroid, he says. She says, yeah, you're right. I don't know why people don't list prices. Why doesn't this guy list the prices?

I wrote back. You know I can see what you're writing, right. You're replying to him in public on my post. So if you have a question, you can ask me. So I said, you know why I don't because people under sell me. They do. I had no idea, liar. Yeah, yeah, she wanted on to sell me. That's what it was. They want you to put the prices up. Oh, he's asking fifteen. I'll give it to you for thirteen. These are the things that I do it privately. Okay, good good.

It bothers me because I want to sell my dishes, and I'm out looking for Mary from Oklahoma to try to undersell me. You know what, Harry com maybe I'll buy you. Maybe I'll buy your dishes. How much you want for him? I'm not telling you. Under Boys podcast. Oh, before the break, we were speaking about selling stuff. H I sold something for scary. I'm not going to say what it is, but it was fifty two dollars and I had this is this is where I got. I

got upset two weeks ago. I paid twelve seventy five for shipping, and eBay took a share of the sale, the taxes and the shipping out of the profits that I then had to split with Scary because I'm taking a percentage. It's Scary as too a fuff to sell an eBay. So I dropped the box off. Dropped the box off at the post office and I put it on the ledge that says prepaid boxes put them here. So I put the box there and the guy who

bought the thing from Scary from me technically Tech. He emails me and he says, hey, it's been five six days. I haven't gotten it. What's going on? So I said, well, I'll check the tracking, goes I already checked the tracking on it, and there's no record of it. It's as if you never brought it to the post office. I said, well, that's bullshit, that's not right. So I go into the post office and I show him the tracking number and she says, oh, yeah, a lot of people have been

complaining about that. The tracking is not entering the system properly. But your package isn't here. It's five days ago, and every night we clear out all the packages. No packages left, So it's on your way to South Carolina. I think some small town in South Carolina, right, I said, I tell the guy your package with scary shit in it should be there any day. So four days later, he goes, I still haven't gotten that. I'm filing a lost package complain.

I want my money back. I go, well, if he wants his money back, then I got to get my money back from Scary to pay this guy back. I mean, it comes out of my account, but then I got to get my money back. Is already give you, scary man, And of course you know I'm going to give you your money back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's a lot of drama. So it sounds like I call the post office, because

the woman says, call the eight hundred number. And I called the post office and I get the voicemail tree and it says, if you don't want to wait on hold, you can leave your your number and we'll call you back. So it says enter your name as you'd like to be referred. So I say David Brody and they say and I record it. I hit the pound key. Great. They called me back and it says, this is USPS with your callback. This is a courtesy call back for

valued customer. When valued customer is back on the phone, please push one. And I'm looking, I'm going, what the fuck they go when valued customer is back on the phone. If this is valued customer, I guess, I guess you're not a valued customer because you didn't press it. Well, I guess that David Brodie part didn't didn't record it, didn't register, right, didn't register. So I get the woman gets on the phone, very nice woman, and she says, oh,

terribly sorry, give us the tracking number. She says, you have insurance for this, You're covered for one hundred dollars. I said, well, it was fifty two dollars plus twelve seventy five for shipping. I would like my sixty four to seventy five back because I have to refund it to the boy. God. Oh, we will put an acclaim and we will have a supervisor to call you within three days guaranteed. Great, we'll send you email confirmation. Great.

I get an email that says your case number is five. Oh, blah blah blah, and it'll be processed in three days. You'll have a supervisor to confirm everything. Get your money back great. Ten minutes later, I get an email that says, we apologize your case was routed to the wrong department. Here is your new case number. It is now in the lost package division, and David contact the post office in South Carolina and we'll get back to you. I

get a phone call from South Carolina. Yes, today, Hey y'all doing this is Fayhee or whatever is Lehigh, some little town South Carolina. We just want to let you know we didn't find your package. There's no package here. I said, okay, so I'm closing out of your account. I want to apologize, Brodie, because I feel like I'm

I'm the cause of this. I feel like I gave you all this ship to sell and and you're you're spending all your time and you're working waking hours yep, like arguing with fucking people on no but even you're you're you're on these comment threads. Well, I'm shit in your comment that's my ship. Even so, I just I don't sell. So they closed out the account. She said, I have to close out this account because you were in the wrong department. I said I was in the

right department. They transferred me to your department. She says, well, I'm closing out your account. You're gonna have to refile this account. So I had to go back to USPS and I and I went to refile and they said this is already a claim. Okay, you can't refile. So I'm just telling you go in your circle. I just all right, whatever, you know, not gonna lose sleep over it. Life's too short, man. I think you should come on a vacation with me. I've come to this conclusion we

need to do what kind of crazy ship. We need to do a vacation. You and me need to do a vacation because you've got to get out of this. This this this hellish vortex of selling and arguing and selling and arguing and fighting with with UPS and d h L and FedEx and all these people. I just now you Uspice, and so I'm not going to tell you today, but when I tell you the best by next week, more of this, more of this. Had a

fight with skull Candy. God damn it. I was You're going to Vegas, my wife and not going to Vegas. That's interesting. That's fun you're doing. I don't believe you're doing vacation, a vacation. We're going to go to Vegas sometime end of the summer, good and the summer. Why not now because we can't right now. My wife's working. Where We're gonna plan it so that if I if I start a new job somewhere, I can tell them in advance how I'm going to Vegas that week. You know. Okay,

right now, I'm still chilling. I'm just starting to buy up some plane tickets. I'm just looking around. I'm just like looking online and I'm gonna book this. I'm gonna book that. I'm gonna book. The latest reports are that that airfare may go up about eight percent over the summer. So get your tickets now, your tickets now. That's exactly why I did that. So I started laying in all of my my flights if I could, you know whatever, But I gotta get out of there. We go, gotta

get the outshould we go? Slice and leave us to talk back if you're on the heart radio app with the microphone, leave us where it's scary and I going on a small vacation together. We need like a weekend, Like a four day where we don't have to discuss myrtles problem with your dishes, where we'll four where we don't talk about fucking. We get them away from yeah talking, get away from ups and fucking kinkos. Okay, that's fine. These places I don't know. I just so where can

we because now here's the problem. Scary? You like to go to beaches. I love beaches. I like cocktail like beaches. See, I like a pool. Can we go with like a place with a pool? Yeah? How about your basketball pool gets start there? Oh you know what? My pool opens next week? Scary? Uh huh yeah? Nice? Am I already hooked up to hoses? Is this the year do I get invited? No? Not the year? Still can't come swimming in your pool? Getting closer? When when the number? When the year is

a palindrome? You are a true jerk off. Let me tell you something I've been I've known you all these years. We've been doing this podcast for five, maybe more than seven. Look at this, and I still haven't gotten invite to your pool. And this year is not going to be any different. I don't know. I'm just saying, you've only been to my house. I think once, twice, three times a lady. I knew you were gonna say that, but you know, yeah, but but I think we yeah, okay,

in fairness, scary. Have I been in your pool? No? I don't have a pool if I had, what kind of selfish basket friend to you? You don't buy a pool that I can come into. I live in an apartment, so move to a place that as a pool in the building. Don't have a pool in my building. I got indoors. Who's whose pool? Did you use? Indoor? Who invited you over? Who invites you over to their apartment building pool? Whoever? Name? Remember? Yeah? My buddy Brian jetskey

Brian tho Yeah, Brian, right right? Yeah? Not not fall asleep on the toilet, Brian, that's toilet Brian. No jets keep Bryan toilet. Bran lives in Hobulkin invites you to his pool all the time. Love that? Okay? Let me ask you a question. Jet ski Brian, I've met jetski Brian, very nice guy. Yes. Have you said to me, Hey, Brody, won't we go jet skiing? Do you want to go jet skiing in the Hudson River? No, falthy. Well you say, okay, I would go. I would you know, I would go.

I would go. Jean is a great business. Jet woulds key. Brian runs his business out of out of the uh that the New York Harbor, and they do tours around the Statue of Liberty. I've seen video already, I would have. I was only joking about it. Is Brian's jet ski. He says, it's very clean now I is now I would ten years ago. No, now it's much better. I wouldn't get in that water still, I don't know, but that's just me. I wouldn't drink it, but I jet ski on it and going to jet ski by the

Brooklyn Bridge. Already we're talking about things other than you getting into a fight at Chipotle because your bag was sitting there with the wrong name on it. See, bring up bad, bad things. I'll just say, no, just let's jet ski. Let's go do let's do something's good to do. Something we gotta get out. We've got it. Life is they say the sand is is leaving the hour glass, or it's going from the top to the bottom. Well in the top. I wanted you to go on the

pizza tour with me. You didn't go in the pizza tour with me. I can still do that something. I'm freaking second quarter scary man. I'm ready. I'll go on a pizza too. I'll go to New Haven and eat the country's second or third best pizza. I'm the problem with that. I'll do a cheeseteak run in Philly. We'll go get why you a fight with Connecticut listeners? For I love Connecticut. The pizza is fine, it's good. Some of it's better than New York pizza. I'm just saying,

just better than the bad New York pizza. It's better. You know what. I will say this, Connecticut onna make you happy. Connecticut pizza is far better than pizza in a box in a drawer. Is that fair? I'm giving them a compliment. You're awful, You're awful. Yeah. So yeah, So we got to think of a place to go. Let's get out of here. Let's let's let's go to a place that's tropical. Like a car ride, like top down a car. We go driving, We could go driving.

It's a dreary day today. By the way, it's raining, it's disgusting. It's by the way, do we get any talkbacks about people who would not drive with the top down in a tunnel. Oh, yeah, play the talkbacks we were Yeah, let's do that. Should we do that next? Yes, we come back, We'll play your talkbacks. Sounds good. Should I play the jingle now? Yeah? Why not? Unless you want to talk about the time for thirty seconds? Two thirty and two three? I don't see a pattern here.

How about two thirty four? So two three four? That's coming up? Two three four four? Okay now, and Scary see, I'm gonna play that number now to a sequence numbers two three four sequence? Okay, ray man, Yeah, we got some talkbacks.

brody and scary Curly Jason, Jason Curly here from Delaware. Scary, you got a new niece. I have to ask only one question and one question because for those who don't know that I can't relate Herr's one question. It's by one question. It's about I can't relate to kids, and I just know it's a thing, So it's my way of starting a conversation with the parent. Is your child colleague, Oh my god, that's such an inside joke, Jason, this is Tim from Youngstown.

Oh my god, they wear yamakis. Well that's everything. No, no, no, lost do falafel is in Is in La Marie l A L A M E M A r A I s neighborhood and it's all it's all Jewish and and and let me tell you something. The guy they closed sundown on Fridays and they closed all day Saturday. And I get it. I walk in there, dude, everyone, every celebrity has been there, Pharrell. They have a picture with with Pharrell and all these other people. So I'm sitting

in there and a rabbi comes in. I'm so happy hanakah. Do you think I know? It sounds like the beginning of a joke. So this rabbi walks into song into a Jewish dick. Come on, yes you did, but nothing says jew like. For when I hear Pharrell, I'm like, he knows Jewish. So the rabbi came into the happy happy, Okay, gotcha. He comes in and he's like, looks at me and he goes, so are you Jewish? And I'm like, huh, heyes,

you look Jewish? And my girl looking at my girlfriend and it was a rabbi with was it a rabbi or man that happened to have a beard. Nope, he was a rabd and he and he had he had the hat, and he had he had the hat, he had the tassels, he had the beard. He was dressed in black and white, and he looked like a seed. Him from Borough Park, Brooklyn. But you know, for a from in a second, Brody, let me get to the end of my story before you crucify me. Uh huh, okay, well, uh, well,

my game of Jesus reference now intentional on that one. Okay, the Jews did not know that. So he goes. So we get to the conversation. He goes. He goes, I said, actually, I'm a Catholic Italian. I said, I'm not Jewish at all. He goes, you look Jewish. He probably like dil. He goes, where you're from? Now he's a vampire. I'm the count from Sensame Street. What I'm Jewish? Where are you from? I said, I'm from Brooklyn. He goes, oh, I'm from I knew it. He's I'm from New York. He goes,

I'm from Brooklyn as well. And he was there at last due falafel, And and at what point did he say, and I'm a rabbi. So he left, and then the waiter comes over and I'm like I'm like, who is that guy. I'm like, he just came to my table asking me if I was Jewish, and it looked like I was enjoying the food. He goes, he goes that's uh, he's the town rabbi and he goes in and out of all he just walks up and down. You know, this Jewish row goes in and out of all the

restaurants in France. By the way, I'm I'm sitting in Paris, France. There were Jews in France. Yeah, No, I wanted to make that point. You know that that's kind of you know, it's cool. It was a cool thing. So the full offel was let me tell you, it was damn good. It was. It rivaled some of the best falaffel that I've ever eaten. And now, did you tell the rabbi from New York that you've had better bagels in Montreal?

Because he probably would have stabbed you. We didn't talk about that, no, but you know what, he might have might have agreed. He's a world traveler. He was hanging out living and he was living in Paris. So yeah, anyway, so so that was cool. He had the hat I loved where he described religious Jewish, so yeah, and I had the hat, the tassels, you know, all of it. And we went Robin and I went to the Mulan Rouge. We also had the best hot chocolate at let. I

can't pronounce these places, but I can't. I can't, I can't do French. Man, it's not me less chacralat play charka. Let's do maggots m A g maggots, m A G maggots. M A maggots are molluscs m A g o t s less d e u x led it's the two magots, do mago? Is it the two magnot two maggots. Translate it translates to the two No magnos, mago m A g o t s. What does that mean in French? It's like, I mean two princes. What is m A g o spin doctors? What is m A g O

t s in French? So it's less l e s d e u x m A g o t s. It's pronounced le mago. Anyway, mister magoo, it's basically eating liquid chocolate.

get it. What do you What is that supposed to mean? It means you like people to like your posts. I took away like five or six seven things that I did based on my poll that I put up, and I feel like I'm a better person for it. I experienced something better than I want than run of the mill. I ate because I wanted. You know what I'm saying, how long was your poll up? We're talking about but it's up for twenty four hours. You should see a doctor. It's not bougie.

can you imagine scary like you having a function? And the Cars for Kids jingle singers showed up I would call off the wedding or whatever it was, I would walk out. I couldn't believe it, and must have been about a thirty year old song at this point because these people look like they aged well you know what's what's it? Well, they could have sang it when they

were old. The point the point is about a riley, which is interesting is there's not a lot of them around the like there there's none in this area where we live. But they still advertise because it's it's an online business. But everyone knows the jingle. I've never seen a store. I never seen in O'Reilly's Auto Parts anywhere. They're not in then, but that jingle works because you know it everywhere. And Rockauto dot Com you know the rock Audo jingle.

podcast a shot and was instantly hooked. Listen for about seven hours per day. Can't wait to catch up to the latest episode, but I'm slowly getting there. I think I'm on one seventy three right now, which means you want to hear this for a while. I just turn it on and let it go. Sorry for saying so much, but it's just great to find a podcast that I enjoy and I'm constantly laughing out loud with headphones in hashtags slice for love that So Garren got on late,

got on board late love. He's catching up fast, all right? We don't love you any less. Oh, we love you. We love you as much again.

had and the modal Lisa? As you know what. I wasn't prepared for it. I know everyone said the thing is small, but it really is. It's tiny. It's I expected it to be a big mural, but everyone's been saying, now it's a small picture. It's yeah. I don't know anyone that's seen the picture that looks at it and goes, yeah, I get why it's famous. It well, it only got famous after the Italian dude, the worker stole it in nineteen eleven. In nineteen eleven, that would I tell you no?

And that's true. In nineteen eleven, the worker stole the Mona Lisa out of the loof and brought it back to Italy, left the picture frame on the floor by the way. And then when they retrieved it a couple of years later and the guy went to jail, it became everyone needed to see it. It was like it became famous from then on. Are you saying that before in nineteen eleven, nobody cared about the Mona Lisa yes,

I mean it was. It was important because of the way that it was drawn, because a commoner was drawn usually in that and you didn't do portraits of common people. And Mona Lisa was just Da Vinci's like like neighbor or something. And and also because she's looking at the camera and most portraits were done with just a black background. I learned a lot on the trip we had. We

had a tour guide. So the opportunity though, well, at the Louver, you know what I'm saying is so the Venus de Milo, which is the statue of the Venus that was that was the most prominent thing in the louver, and that was like the most that was a big draw. But if it had if it had, if she had her arms, you think people would care as much. I don't know, I don't know. I you know, this is one of those like if the statue of David had

his penis fall off, what anybody care anymore? Hey, you took a picture and you were like, oh, I got to take the obligatory picture outside the love. Yes, outside the loof there didn't take the obligatory picture outside the love. You didn't take the right picture. See, it's like when you go to the the when you go to the leaning Tower Pisa, you take the picture of your hands out like you're holding up. You didn't do the finger

the figure on the top. I know, but I wasn't gonna I wasn't gonna go all the way because I already that's not the obligatory picture. Then you can't call it the obligatory different in front of it. In the Da Vinci Code, there's that outdoor structure outside the louver, which is above ground and now so like the pyramid, the glass Pi, like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

So you're supposed to get on top of the pier and get on top of the rock or whatever wherever the vantage point is, and then put your finger out over the tip so it looks like you're touching this. You're touching the top of the pyramid. The fact that I was even there and took a picture with it in the background is enough for me. I was being basic enough by even wine. So if you went to the a Tower of Pisa, you would take a picture just standing there with the pizza behind you. Okay, the tower.

I did go to the Tower of Pisa, and I did post a picture of me leaning my head on it like a pillow. So I did a little different. Other people what do they do with that one? Some people did the butt holding it up. Some people do the thing where they're pushing it like like I'm pushing it over like it's leaning. Get it Yep, the butt, right. I did a little like I'm resting my head on it like ah like that. That's what I did. But

but we all do. Listen, we all take basic pictures now and then we're okay, okay to do right, right, But you can't take a picture of the mona Lisa, Lisa, I did. You're not supposed to. No, there was cameras all up in there, and nobody gave a ship. Oh the glass. You can't use the flash, right? Is that what it is? They say, no flash? Yeah, but there's

protective this protective glass over the entire picture. Okay. Well, I don't know if it's changed, but I went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum, I don't know, a long time ago, so maybe it's changed in Cleveland. But when you first walk in there was the Zzy Top eliminated car from the videos. Really cool old car. If you don't know what I'm talking about, that Thespian. It's a really cool old car. You're not going to take a picture of it? Why because you might fade

the paint. I don't know. They're like, no pictures, Like I didn't come to the museum to not take a peace. I think that's a scamboni. I think they don't want all those pictures out there because then, for whatever reason, people might be less inclined to go see it themselves in person because they saw a picture, and so they want everybody to go see it for themselves, so they say it for that reason. I don't think you could fucking fade the paint of the top of the Sistine Chapel. Like.

That's another one. They do that, no pictures, no pictures, and they have guards walking around making sure you don't take your camera out and snap the ceiling. But is my picture that's not doesn't even have a flash aimed at the ceiling going to destroy Michael's works? And of course not, No, it's not. I don't want to hear it. I want to sell you a postcard exactly. You can google image plenty of pictures of it. That's true. Ridiculous, all right, until next time. Arevoir. That's just the way

it goes. Votes from Rent the song from Rent vim Liker that's correct. Soccer Blue Bro, I'm gonna put up a post. You do this. I'm going on vacation. I need recommendations. Boys, Boys,