#231: You Can Hold My Umbrella Ella Ella

it's gorgeous sunny day. It's Friday when we're recording this. You know that means that means Scary wants to be outside. So this may be a short podcast. No, that's not true. No, I mean I do want to be outside, and I think I will be outside at some point. I thought of you last night speaking to being outside. Why is that? Well? I was iving through. Uh. We went to dinner last night at Author and Sons. I've talked about it before. Yes, Oh my god, I'll talk about the food in a minute.

The check my Instagram story. The food was unbelievable. I had a chicken palm of what with vodka sauce. Oh scary can imagine, I can imagine. I got okay. So, driving through the village to get home, it was raining last night and it was a large building I want to say in the West Village. I don't know what street because I hit a dead end stop sign, had to make a left. I'll try to remember where it was. But at the top of this building was a rooftop

of lights. And it was a two level rooftop. So whatever is going on up there in the rain, it looked like I gotta find that Scary's gotta go here. It's got Because you've never met a rooftop bar you didn't like? No, no, certainly not. Well, well, let me know the name of it so I can do it on my list. I put it on my list. You know, I gotta figure out. I gotta track my my root last night and see where I was because it was raining,

I didn't even see the streets sides. Really, I turned, I made a there was this giant apartment building maybe or and it was just lights on the top and it looked like it was the flashing. I was something was going on. I'm like, oh, I wonder if Scary is there. You are there, I mean you know, I like when some of these places they still do it.

They used to do it more in the nineties and two thousand's when they hire a truck, a flatbed truck with the spotlight, four huge spotlights on it, and they the spotlights kind of kind of rotate in circles and whatever the case, and they're aimed at the sky. It's it's and they're the brightest freaking lights you ever did see. And I guess and and basically they shine them up

in the sky. So you probably, you know, if you're wherever you are in the neighborhood, you look and you see these these spotlights kind of going back and forth looking for like, you know, whatever, and they're they're kind of flawling in the sky and you're like, oh, where's that coming from? What, what's going on? Something big must be happening. You know. They used to use it, I guess in old Hollywood, you know what I'm talking about, the spotlight that kind of like crushed into the X

and they go back. So they there's companies that make these spotlights in large format on and put them on these huge flatbed truck and they pull up in front of the Usually it's like a club, a grand opening of a club. Back in the day, that's where they would use them. Um. But like you know, I've seen it. And my buddy had his restaurant reopening and he he wanted all the bally who, all the lights and all the all the you know whatever, the frivolity that goes

with that, the chaos. So he hired one of those trucks. I don't mean, God knows how much energy it took, and his electric bill must have been through the roof. But I'll tell you do Pete. Where my question is, do you think people see the lights in the sky, say let's go follow that, let's see where that leads to, and and then they discover the grand opening of said club or do you think that it's a waste of money and electricity. I don't know. I think I think

it's like a crime scene. Now, Like I see that, I feel like bat is gonna be there and it's a crime scene. That's exactly what I was looking for, the Batman insignia in the sky. Right. So yeah, I mean, but you know we've seen these before in places. No, yeah, absolutely,

but here. Now here's the other thing about events and and like big openings, grand grand opening, grand closing, jay Z, have you ever driven in in in whatever city you live in, you drive by like a regular storefront or like just a door, there's the and there's a crowd of people, but there's no signs as to why, and you have no clue, like what's going on there? That's right,

I stopped. Yeah, right, So last night there's uh, I think we were on maybe a West third I don't remember again, it was the West Village and we're driving down the side street and a we were between seventh and eighth Avenue and there was some fancy stores on the left, and there was some nice cars, and it was it was double parking. People were like jumping out of their cars, so you had to stop and wait.

This one woman just thick thick with a th h I C C thick thick like she was wearing an orange track suit and she kind of kind of looked like a pumpkin. All right, jumps apparatus right. Oh, by the way, that's funny you mentioned that Red I'm gonna tangent now. Last night my wife says to me, oh, that band you like from the two thousand's Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Yes, they are re releasing face Down this year. A symphonic version. Were like an orchestra O. Man, that was I was.

It was like a hard rock song that we used to play. Yeah, two thousands of my wife's I said, how old is that song? So it's two thousand five, Go, oh my god, seventeen years as great powerful lyrics about Yeah, it's about domestic domestic abuse. So she's funny. And do you remember we had an intern? Oh no, I knew you're gonna go there, So that's what I was thinking about last night. So no names, but we had an intern.

She used to wear red track suits track suits to work, so somebody, not me, and I would like, I would not do that to my entire but it was a very very clever name. Started calling her red track suit apparatus. And I didn't know this because no one wanted to tell me because they're my intern, so they wanted me to know. So after the semester, they're like, oh uh, what happened to Red track suit apparatus. She's not coming back to semester. And she was really good. She just

she so was this the wrong timing for her? It was a lure like she was in the mob, as if the mob the orange track suit apparatus. Uh what about right, So she gets out of the car and she walks towards the front of the store. It was blue something blue blue, ocean blue. But yeah, right, I feel I feel sixty five was there. So she gets out of the car. I want to say, like, uh, the ft from the store. Where this people gathering out of another fancy car, no joke. Scary Another guy, another one,

another guy. He gets out of his car and he's wearing it. It It looks like a banana. He's wearing a yellow tracks and it was like vlore. I was like, it wasn't like I didn't see like stripes or zippers. It was like they were going to a costume party where everyone had to be a part of the rainbow. This guy was wearing a yellow jack and yellow. It's just all yellow. And I said to my wife, because we're creeping in this as we're waiting to pull up,

I bet you those two know each other. Now they got out of cars like five cars away from each other, and sure enough they got together without and this this crowd was forming outside of this retail store that didn't look like it was open yet it was nine o'clock at night. I don't know, but something was going on there last night and ill, and so my wife says to me, she looked up the store, the store name, and she said, it's a very expensive store, like like

boogie expensive. So and then she was though, some people I don't think they shopped there because they were dressed in track suits. But then I thought, maybe they do when they save money by wearing tracksuits three days a week. I don't know. But then more people got out of the cars and it looked like it looked like people who spend more money on their cars than their clothing. But something was going on, right, and you're like, you're busting right, You're busting a No, I don't know. Well,

nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd. Thank you, Solo Asylum. But if I don't know, if I'm being honest, I feel like that was the whole premise of the whole clubs you can't come in bottle service thing of the two thousands and nineties, where they would let people make

people wait outside the place would be empty inside. Yeah, losing money by the minute, mind you, because they're not ringing up a liquor bill at the bar, and the club owners would would prefer that because it would just advertisement for more people to just jump on the line. Now people don't have the patience to tell you go fund yourself, so that that trick doesn't really work anymore.

Because I see a line, I'm walking the other way. Wow, Unless, of course, you know, I'm expected if my name is on the list and I know someone, If I got a guy, then then I then I get get in. I go get it, I go to the front, I get Have you ever been to a club? I don't know if they still do this because my club days are gone, But have you ever been to a club or some kind of elite thing. We have to stand outside and the bouncer picks people he likes what they look like out of the crowd to go in. Yes,

annoying as funk and again you and you've been picked? No? Never, No, I got picked once you did? I did? I know it's shocking for the deadbeat club or what that? No. I was remember the club Limelight, Yes, so I took my then girlfriend who's who's now my wife. But we went to the Limelight, which was an old church converted into a club and concert hall for a while. Allegedly, um people would do coke off the fireplace mantele. It

was that kind of place. So we went one night, uh to to go hang on Friday, Saturday night whatever, and I had just gotten off work. So I was won a shirt and tie. This was back in my retail days, as when a shirt and tie and I don't know, jeans whatever, and uh we were standing outside and the guy was like, everybody has to wait out here. I need a clipboard, the whole thing. So the shirt and ties? What got you in? Yeah? A shirt and tie?

So weird brody because if you think about it, those are the people that they don't allow in because that's like we don't want these business types. Yeah, well I worked. It was it's in Chelsea, that part of Manhattan, and I worked. I worked at and they were, you know, they were looking for Brooklyn Industrial. They were all even back in the day. So this was I want to say it was uh ninety six a while ago. But they were like, yeah, you can go, and you got

you too. We looked at each other like what yeah, but we looked behind us like the day point to the people behind us, But no, it was us. We got to go in and we had a great time. That's it was the weirdest feeling because oh, I have to tell you about remind me to tell you about about what I won something? All right, Well, speaking of getting picked and well, speaking of speaking of getting out

of vehicles. The other day, Um Garrett Garrett from the Morning Show, was giving me a ride home and we just see a sea of SUVs in the back of our building, you know, with the with you know, the where the where with the radio station and and it's like just all Cadillac escalades. But we were we were parked a block south of that, and we're going north. So I'm like, what's what's the commotion up ahead on

the So it was raining out. It was pouring as a matter of fact, and you know, we kind of did the slow roll to see what the hell, because all of a sudden, everyone started jumping out of the vehicles, all at the same time. All of a sudden, at one vehicle, one guy comes running over from the other side of the vehicle from the outside. You know, they went on the driver's side and they came out the passenger side of his best friend's ride trying to holler at me. No, we were, we were. We were to

the right of the passenger, so we were looking left. Okay, so we were looking to our left. All of a sudden, the door opens and the one guy stands over the door and holds the umbrella, and I'm like, did he did he had an umbrella guy? It's funny you mentioned it. It was Diddy. Did he comes out of the vehicle? Did he pops out of the did he always has

an umbrella guy? So so it leads me. Well, so, so we were focused on that point because I'm like, all these people walking out could have been any one of them could have been a celebrity, because you know, all of them are dressed, blinged out and ship and then one guy's holding the camera. But honestly, we're like, okay, wherever the umbrella guy stands waiting, that's that's the celebrity. So we slowed up, and sure enough, umbrella guy had that the door was opened, had the umbrella up, and

out walks Diddy and we was right there. I mean literally, Gary could have like open rolled down the window and give him a high five. We were right next to him. But I'm sitting there, like, who the funk has an umbrella guy? At this point? Would you, okay, even if you were a big celebrity, would you would you want umbrella guy? Or would you think that that's just stupid. I'd like to think I am a celebrity, you know, like like I wouldn't even humble. I have to be

I'm a humble dude. Okay, Okay, maybe maybe I would do this. Maybe I if I was ditty, maybe I would pop out the vehicle and I would let the umbrella guy hand me the umbrella and then I would walk away so like I wouldn't get wet. And then this way, it's like a halfway thing, like he opened the door for me, hands me the umbrella already open or maybe even closed. I could open my own fucking umbrella.

But my point is, do you even need it? You even need someone standing there opening the door handing your umbrella? Or why can't I come out the vehicle with the umbrella? Is that not cool? Yeah? I don't know. I look, so so I'm looking. I'm looking. So here's what I did I google just now no images for celebrities with assistance to hold umbrellas. So the second the first thing comes up is Google images. I'm gonna pull it up in a minute. The second is did he's assistant famous

for holding seven hundred dollar umbrella? Fozworth Bentley? Remember him? We talked about him on the Morning Show years ago? Oh my god, So that was definitely him there, well, unless he got fired. Hold on, let me see how much does an umbrella holder make? I mean and in the you know if the in the grand scheme of the payroll. I mean, all that stuff is being bankrolled

by Diddy. Right, so all the SUVs, the drivers, the camera guys, all the hype men around him, the people, the stunt guy, the car behind him, I mean, the umbrella guy. They're all on payroll. How much does it cost a year to pay an umbrell an umbrella guy? How much is got? This guy got paid seven hundred dollars a day to be Fosworth Bentley, which was not his real name. He was holding umbrella? Oh did he seven on jell umbrella? Yeah? Sorry, he said he hated

the nickname Fazworth Bentley. So maybe he's not with him anymore. Uh, let me see what he does here. He's not his assistant. Yep, right, so so yeah, so I mean and at some point in the grand scheme of a posse or a an entourage or a click or a squad, and you have to cut and times are tough, and you've got to start cutting salaries and you gotta make budget cuts. You gotta find who goes first? Who goes first? I think first.

I know his name is Derek Watkins. It depends on how badly you don't want to get wet he has music? Then who would be out? Who would be on the balls of their ass Like, who's like losing their job first? If umbrella guy stays like what, like what? What is a more meaningless job than that? I don't know, dude, But it says here according to this article, and you know these aren't always real, but it says according to celebrity net worth, uh, the celebrity assistant turned entrepreneurs worth

two million dollars. It seems when told his assistant his life would change forever, he was completely accurate. Wow, So umbrella guy is now a celebrity himself. But my question is does he have an umbrella guy? Now? Umbrellas right, I'm watching Let's see one of the Kardashians as an umbrella person, I can't see because there's no let's see this says, um hold my umbrella. Fergie has an umbrella person,

and Helen Mirren has an umbrella person. I gotta say, if you want to be a person to the people, oh J Low has no surprise Mariah, Mariah probably has two Yeah, paid six celebrities who can't be bothered to hold their own umbrella? Is that list here? So? I mean, would you don't? It doesn't matter how big I get as a celebt. Let's say, let's say I I freaking Margot Robbie apparently as an umbrella man. Let's say, let's

see Kate will get it. I get it if if I mean in Augan Freeman, he's the voice of SUV and I'm paying for your service, I understand somebody wants to come around or open the door. I don't even want I don't I don't even want a door opener Kate Blanchet, Kylie Jenner and Tiger. But I would allow I would allow someone to open the door and and and maybe hand me an umbrella. But I want to I want to pull the umbrella up and I want to walk in by myself on my own accord. Okay,

this is not right, this is not right. Who would be the most ironic person to have someone hold their umbrella for the guys hold me umbrella, you can hold you can hold my umbrella. I'll stand under your umbrella because you're holding it. Wow. Let's say Rita Aura has an umbrella person. She doesn't have enough hits to be at umbrella persons. Megan Fox has an umbrella, Lissa Milano, let's see. But I would see again, Brodie. Brodie stopped

for a second. What I'm saying is, wouldn't you want to portray an image of um, I'm normal like you. I'm like you, and it's a difference. Oh, Jennifer Anderston has the celebrity assistant holding it's just so fucking like elite. It's elite. I don't I don't care what you say. It's unrelatable to the to your audience. Okay, why do you think people watch the Kardashians. You think they watched them because they're interesting, bright people. They watched them because

they're rich and and also because they're stupid. But they do it because they people like watching opulence. Don't remember that show in the seventies, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. People would sit and watch this guy what was his name, Robin, Robin Leach, Robin Leach, and he would go on. He would take you on tours of rich people's homes and he would show how rich they were. That only does is make me angry. It makes me want to want

to not support that person. It's like when they show these on Saturday mornings, they have these like fucking open house shows where they show these opulent mansions worth a hundred million dollars. Why would why would I want to watch that? I want to kill myself after that. I'm this, I'm ridiculous. Maybe I'll put it on for five minutes and I'll shut it off. I'm like, fuck you your money. You know everything's relevant, right, You've heard the expression everything

is relevant. You don't think there are people who follow you say on social media and wish they had a BMW and wish they could eat in the restaurant. I'm a normal guy. I'm just an average dude. You can't say that. I don't. I'm not I'm not in that realm. But what I'm saying is there are people who enjoy it. There are people who like live vicariously through you, through me, through other people, as we do other people. So people like, oh,

I wish I could go to that Broadway show. They like they like seeing what we post because they like seeing that although we're regular people. I clear my own table. It's smash Parker. I don't leave it for the people to come get it. That's who I am. I work. I stacked the plates if they want me to stack the plates when I'm at a restaurant, you know, when they're cleaning the table. But the point is the point is the umbrella carriers look to me, it's like obnoxious.

But but the celebrities get to look good. They get to pose for pictures, which is what people want. They get to have their hands free and look good. And they don't want to have a picture where they're like, they're like, i'll meet you, I'll meet you halfway. I'll get a photographer because photographer is somebody. Well, then I don't have to hold my own phone, and look do it.

You have to hold your own phone. But you want, you want to be photographed, and you know you don't want to have to say, hey, could you hold my counter. I understand the idea. If you're a big, famous, rich celebrity and you want a photographer to follow you around, that makes sense, practical controlling the narrative that one. Then I can, but then you can. You can get me in my natural habitat maybe I'm just sitting around. I'm

sitting to McDonald's eating some fry. You get a picture of me, and then I posted on my social you know whatever. You know what. That's why I don't post a lot on my social media, on my because I don't have a whole I don't have a lot of I don't have a lot of pictures because I'm always by myself. So it's like, it's stupid to see you need you need if you want to be real scary, you need to be real. APP. I have to be real APP. I haven't posted on that yet. Yeah, right,

all right, listen, we gotta take a quick break. Alright, good bye and Rod? The hell is it with a goodbye? What does that mean? Because I missed you for the You're like goodbye. I'm like, wow, that's quick. See it? Well, it's weird for us because it's like when people record. We've talked about this when people record countdown shows, like on the radio, they're like, oh, yeah, you two is taken over the radio station for six hours tomorrow, that's

already recorded. They spent like forty minutes recording the intros and the outros. That's why they don't always match up to what they're saying. Or like you watch MTV, you know, like back in the day, at least do the countdown. The VJs aren't sitting there for two hours. They record all the video for the intro and outros and they go so for them, it's like it's like when you watch when you watch like late night talk shows and they have a guest on and they go, we'll be

right back. Yeah. A lot of times you'll see when they say, all right, we gotta take a break here, they record that afterwards, they don't stop the interview. Some something like when I used to go watch David Lettiman, he would stop the interviews and they would break for the exact amount of time. But when you watch something like I watched Late Night with Late Show Stephen Colbert sometimes as an example, and Fallon does it too, You'll you'll see him say we're gonna take a break. We'll

be right back with more of whoever. But it's there's always an edit there and then they film that because a lot of times the guests will be like excited and then they they'll show him in the hands are not where they are. It's clearly an edit. So for them, you feel like five minutes went by that they Oh, I wonder what they were sitting there talking about. They may not have been sitting there talking. They may have

just done the whole interview. And so for us, yeah, we we we say we'll be right back after this, but we don't have the commercials playing with. It's not like we don't know, we don't know what we what WI just played? So like nobody, nobody assist to us. What do you guys do doing the commercial? Nothing? Nothing happened. Hey, So I said goodbye, because in real life we'll be

gone for three minutes or two minutes or whatever. You know, do you ever find yourself rooting for the enemy, the villain, rooting for the villain here's why in a movie or TV show. Well, in real life, unfortunately, I fell into this rabbit hole. You've gone for Russia a little bit, like what are you talking about? No, No, let me clarify quickly before you try and sink me for no reason. You know, do you do? You? You root for cancer against people? Like, what are we talking about? We're talking

about um you've seen that. You've seen the Netflix series Inventing Anna, you know Anna Sark and have not seen it is a little bit on The Big Show and a little bit on my other podcast, which, by the way, Speaking Volumes with Sharon Scary Um I talked a little bit about it and and this is, by the way, those sneakers are ugly. Oh the Okay, that's a whole other story, but that's those are my Those are my

pizza sneakers. Yeah, pizza sneakers. Show your co host share You asked her if she liked them, and she's like yeah, and you like, would you wear the She's like, hell, right, exactly, thanks my point. So that's a whole other thing. But anyway, so so Anna Dels you know is it was? She claimed that she was an heiress too, and she had crazy money back in Germany but she couldn't lock it. But yet she wanted to do big things in the art world in in New York City. Based on a

true story. By the way, she did all this stuff, but obviously, you know, the Netflix series made it a little juicier. So she she ends up like pretty much stealing people's credit cards by going on shopping spreeze, fooling people to thinking that she was someone she wasn't. She literally tried to pull the wool over everyone's eyes, and my, oh my. I don't want to give too much away, but she got pretty damn close, all right, from getting like the top real estate and bankers in the world.

But anyway, so so she was put in prison, uh several months ago in real life, and she's been in prison. Uh and and that's where the whole thing starts. Just the story starts with her in prison looking back at the hotelling the whole story played by Julia Garner. Ruth ozark Uh did an amazing job as Anna Devy. I don't want to do the accent right now, but anyway,

the larger point. Last week The Post New York Post reported and several outlets reported that she was being released from prison under the condition that she gets to well, she can't be on social media and she's under house arrest. So I was after seeing Inventing Anna and seeing all the things that she's done because she was the main character, and somehow motions developed in my head and a lot

of people will relate. I found myself excited that she got out of prison, but she's a fucking criminal in real life. She's a real criminal, you know. And I'm sitting there like, how the hell can I find myself rooting for someone who is did some evil things and tried to get pull the wool over everybody's eyes. And I feel like we do that sometimes in life, you know, maybe you know, you fall in love with the character, like Tony Soprano, that's the ideas that one of the

ultimate examples. He's a fucking villain, he's evil, he kills people, but yet he was a big, huggable teddy bear and you fucking love him so and not even love to hate, you fucking love him. So it's almost like a mind fuck. No, well, I he like the hero. It's like you. It's almost like they're toying with your emotions. It's twisting because I shouldn't be feeling these feelings, but I am. Well, listen, there are people who watch Dahmer and and not just

the new Damer show, but every Damer show. They always cast a good looking guy to play Jeffrey Dahmer, and people are like, oh, you know how many women used to write him letters in prison and and and head crushes on him because he was good look and he had you know, nice eyes. He ate people, right, Listen, there are people who will root for anybody, no matter how awful they are. And I and I I mean I I think if you put on the news, uh,

you will see people rooting for awful human beings. And and I think you get caught up in it, whether it's the money, the fame, you you overlook all of the awful things they did because you're caught up in it. You're caught up in the other stuff. You're like, oh, that can't a person can't be awful because look they they they are successful and rich and whatever. And you get wrapped up in it. You know, it's it's it's

a weird. It's a human thing. But you you will justify, and you will justify and you will make excuses for and you will do anything if you believe in someone, whether it's a real person or a character. And I think people listening can figure out, uh, someone in in There are people in the you can. You can think of someone in the world right now, Uh, let's say a world leader. There. I'm you know, for a fact,

there are world leaders that are awful people. But if if you, if you are a fan of theirs, you overlook the evilness and you blame everybody else. And that's everybody else, that everybody you know. So I feel like, yes, it's it's normal to root for the bad person. But someday you have to catch yourself and go, wait a minute, I think I'm rooting for the bad person. But you know, I'm not a fan of Putin. Sorry, okay, good, Yeah, but there are people who are. My point is, there's

there's someone who likes everything. There's someone you know what I mean. So I get that it's I don't know, you've caught up. You kind of admire the woman. I bet you kind of admire the woman because she accomplished something and you're like, wow, she pulled the wall over people's eyes, and did anyone really get hurt? You know, you start making excuses a rich woman who was out thousands and thousands on her credit card, right, but then someone else will go that rich woman can spare it.

This woman had a great time. I wish I could have done that well, so people will just okay, I'll take a step further. I want my girlfriend to dress up a se for Halloween. And you wanted to speak that way? Yeah, like skitty, I want you whatever VF is always better. I don't have time for this and

I don't home time for y'all. Yeah, yeah, wow, this this Robin know this that you oh yeah, because because all you can need is the glasses, because that she's got those very specific glasses that you can find that shape and uh, do you make up and hair the right way and just get a bunch of empty bags from Balenciaga going up your arm on both sides with Louis Vutan over here, and and people will know the costume. In fact, I hear it is one of the costumes that a lot of people are a lot of women

are trying to do this year. But I'm kay whatever, I mean, listen, be honest, though, be honest. You wanted to wear that costume for Halloween so you can go to a party and she'll be cool, or you wanted to wear that costume for when you go home, and no, I'm thinking that now I'm thinking about that. Would you? Would you? Because I also wanted to do I want to do Beauty and the Beastie Boy. But we think that's a stretched as well, because you know, Beauty and

the beast and I'd be. The problem is I saw a picture someone trying to pull it off and the Beastie Boy. Unless you wear a Beastie Boys T shirt along with it, it doesn't work because how do you become how do you be a beastie boy? And you wear a thick gold change exactly? This person a microphone. Yeah, that's exactly what they did. This guy did it. So I actually sent a picture to Robin and I said,

all right, what is this costume? And she goes beauty and uh and she puts a bunch of question marks and I tried to give her hints and she goes na not having it, not not not coming at it. What the problem? Boys? The vision of the Beastie Boys old that the problem. Now they're old dudes who wear regular clothing, and two of them are still alive. Right now, I get it, I I whatever your boys from Brooklyn would get it. Yeah, yeah, well but you have to

go to a party with them. Tell me, I think I go out what you go out with Karen Delavine whatever her name is, what's her name? Delavine who whatever name is? From the show the woman you're talking about when Robin ad dressed up Anna Delvi and a Delvi. Sorry you, she's dressed as Anna Delvi. You spend the whole night you're drinking, you know what. You go back, You go back to the apartment and she's like, so do you want to go to bed? And you you like?

I watching no, Because inventing Anna, I wanted to choke her. That's the thing I wanted to tell you into man's business, I I don't. I didn't like her. And that's what my whole reason for bringing this up was because I was happy she got out of prison. That's all. It's not a fetish. I have a Delvie fetish. I don't you know. If you if you look at the real Anna Delvie in real life, she's you know, she's not as as easy on the eye as Julia Garner is.

We get you. You You just subject now, please? What are you going to be for Halloween? Annoyed and grumpy? Is that? Is that? The eighth Dwarf Gum annoyed. Maybe I'm gonna see I mean, my wife and I going as annoyed and grumpy. No, I don't, I don't. I haven't been to a Halloween party in a while. I think the only Halloween customs I've worn recently are the ones we get free from whatever Halloween stores sponsoring the Morning show,

and they would send me a customer every year. They dropped it on us that we don't have that partnership this year, so I'm well, I'm not missing anything you're not. So now I'm screwed. One more reason I left. Well, now I'm telling no free Halloween custom I guess I'm gonna have to pull a repeat from a few years ago. I don't know, maybe whatever it is, but but um, I think you know. Can I talk about customs for seconds and talking about costoms? Why not? I want to

talk about the openmate costome place. I like our free flowing Yes, comic Con, I told you guys, I was going to go to comic Con and sign my new wacky packages stickers. It's wacky, so shout out to the twenty five or so slices that showed up. Almost all of them came up. And when Brody, I'm a Slice. They were very you know, like very open, but a couple of people like, oh, can you sign that card for me? I'm you know. I was like yeah, sure, and they're like, oh I want you know I'm a fan.

Oh fan of Wacky Packages. No, oh, fan of the morning Show. Well yeah, I'm I'm a fan of the podcast. So you're Slice. Yeah, Well they come up you know you're a Slice, Like hello, yeah, they were like look shy about being a Slice. Well you know what because I told the guy holding my umbrella that they had to talk to them first, so uh, he had to talk to They have talked to my umbrella guy before

they come to me. No, I'm like, why are you Because I listen some people look at us a certain way and they were a little nervous to say hi. So I'm gonna remind everybody don't be nervous. I'm just the guy who does a podcast. So anyway, very nice, very nice people. I'm not gonna say her name, but her initials are mm. She was very funny, but she's like, don't mention me on the podcast. So I'm not gonna

mention you, just gonna mention your initials um. One guy came up to me and went, oh my god, you're brody. I recognized the voice. Oh my god, the voice like that, that's my voice. Yep, hees. Can I film you saying Hi, my girlfriend's a big fan. Now, what would your reaction be to that? How about I do a personal video for her right here? I would. I would actually get I would say, all right, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna say hello to hey, And it's usually to the

effect of hey, An Marie. We're here a comic con. You know, I wish you could be here. But before I did that, I said to the guy, so your introduction to me is to come up and say, hi, my girlfriend likes you. I said, you don't hey, No, no, no, no, no no, no, I'm a big fan. I think. I think in that case, they realized they have about twenty seconds, so they just got to get it all five. I spoke him for like five minutes. I did the video,

but I was just teasing him. I was giving him grief. Anyway, he put up a picture of us on on Instagram, and I don't know why his camera I don't know, because he was I don't know if he took the photo in TikTok, but it's a mirror image photo. So I'm wearing a Brooklyn Boys podcast shirt and it's back because I was promoting it's backwards, so that's no good. But I did wear my Brooklyn Boys shirt and uh people would come up and they'd say, hey, can I

get an autographed card? So I was autographing my stuff and they were like, do I have to get a ticket? I have to pay for them. So I said, well, do you listen to the Brooklyn Boys podcast and they said some of them of course said no. Said well, I can give you a free autographed card, but you have to promise to me say I will listen to the Book and Boys podcast. So I had everybody saying it. So people were walking up going My friend told me, I have to say listen to the Book and Boys podcast,

like yea, you have a free card. Okay. So after a while I stopped and then fran the guy from Wacky Packages. If I didn't say that would go hey, hey, hey, you gotta listen to the Book and Boys podcast, and they were okay, alright, I'm from Queen's I'll listen. So if if anybody's a new listener. Even though I told you guys to listen to episode zero, welcome aboard. It was nice to mean you. At Comic Con, however, there's some scams going on and some people who think they're

very original. So when uh Fran from Wacky Packages and I will walk into the food court, it's a madhouse by the entrance, which is where the food court is, and that's where everyone stands and takes pictures with people that they love their costumes. And there are some people that know their costumes are awesome, so they stand in the entrance way. So people will come up for a day, maybe they'll get a guest umbrella holder. Right now, some of these people are in like Chewbacca costumes, so you

can't see their face anyway. So if they're posting their pictures on social media, you're not you're not famous because nobody knows who's in the costume. So okay, so as we're going through the crowd there to talk to them, that's right. There are two regular real don't question this part of it. They are real NYPD officers. Okay, they're real police officers and they're walking through because they you need to have police there, right, and so I'm we're

both going in the same direction. The two police officers and uh Fran and I are all walking in the same direction towards the food court. So because of walking next to them, I can hear that. Every ten feet there's the guy who thinks he's original and goes, well, man, those are nice costumes. You look like real cops. And the cops go hey, thanks man, and then they walk five more feet. Hey, you guys dresses cops costume. It was unbelievable, how but they're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

as far as the first guy said that. So here's the Scamboni. Hot girls in costumes okay Scarlett, which right, scantily clad like an anime. All the girls, the hot girls in the who are dressed, um, you know in costume. Okay, there there there, um oh, what's the term. I'm I'm forgetting the term when you um uh, when you go to in costume, you're when you're playing the cost cosplay

costplay cosplay right there, cosplaying. And so so the hot girls walk around the entranceway, they're like not wearing much clothing, you know, like nothing on their sleeves, their asses, hanging out the door. Rockey guys will go up to them to get pictures because they like their costume. Oh man, Scarlett Witch. Can I get a compicture when you Scarlet Witch?

But they're really and then like in the pictures they're looking at the girls boobs, like not at the camera, but they're using they're using comic con as a way to get pictures with the hot girls by like complimenting their constumes. What does that get them at the end of the day. I guess something to look at night when they go home to their basement apartment. I guess. But that's that's a scamboni is the old Oh my god, right, I go, so, so here's where it gets interesting. That's right,

Oh my god, I love your costume. You're you're you're sch Magma from the Japanese animated Guarddoom. I don't even know all the costumes. I don't and I know sci fi, but I couldn't keep up. There's so many new shows and there's some costumes people wearing it look like they had pancake heads, like it was stacks of pancakes for heads. I don't know. Somebody listening is gonna know what that is.

But there were there were a lot of short guys dressed as Wolverine, which was awesome because like, you know, short guys can't be Superman. You're like, why but speaking the Superman. So I parked on the east side of Manhattan. So if you don't know Manhattan, the Javits Center where the Comic Con is is on the very end the west side of Manhattan, like right near the water, and there's one train that runs there now, but for years there was no train. They made the train line longer.

So I looked on the parking app and all the parking garages near the Javits Center during Comic Con, we're like fifty five to a hundred dollars, which is not normal for that area because it's a dumpy area. Well it used to be dumpy area. Now it's an awesome area. But all the garages like a hunt. They jacked up the prices. So I parked on the east side, the other side of Manhattan, by Grand Central Station where the parking garage there was twenty five dollars and then for

two dollars and whatever fifty cents. I took the train across town and I got to Comic Con. So I saved like seventy five dollars because I'm smart like that. And I parked around the corner from a place called Los Tacos number one. Have you ever heard of it? Yeah, I have very famous places, several outposts of that. Every time I walked by one, the line is out the door, out the door, so I went, I wasn't gonna go in. I had to get to comic Con. I'll get to

that in a minute. When I'm walking towards Grand Central Station. Grand Central Station is like a main transit hub. Do you ever hear the expression it's as busy as Grand Central Station? In here. It's a crazy busy place where all the trains from Long Island and and uh some of them and from northern New York, Like, what is it the the North? Uh? What is it? What's the rail line? Metro Metro? No, thank you, I'm join a

blank night Metro North. So everything pulls in only out of town is would probably to come there a Penn station, and so Comic Con people in costume, the cost players are coming out of Grand Central and they're walking west to the Javits Center, which is like, I don't know forty five minute walk at least because they don't know there's a train, the seven train. It goes east west right,

goes directly east west straight across Manhattan. From there, they could have grabbed the seven train, which is what I did, and take the train right to Javits. So these people walked. So there's a Superman guy who wasn't wearing a cod piece right like a cup, so you could see that he wasn't Jewish. Okay, he had the full dick exposure silhouetted in his Superman tights. Now I wasn't. I wasn't gazing, but I was like, oh, Superman, Jesus Christ, your dick

is it like is outlined like a silhouette. So he's walking down street to Javitt Center again like a mad Right. So later in the day, like an hour later, I gotta use the bathroom. I go in the bathroom, and the way the bathroom is designed is the you walk a little entrance, you make a left, and you could only see the sinks and the toilet stalls. It doesn't

look like it's any animals. But if you've been there before, you know if you walk around the wall that you're standing next to is a room with all the urinals, but you wouldn't know if they were available because you can't see them. It's a hardy design, hardly. So I'm like, funk this. I'm not waiting on the toilet line. I walk around the wall and as I'm there, in the last urinal is fucking Superman with his dick out with his hands, I swear to you is scary. He's peeing

like Superman. He's got his hands on his hips right like and and and I'm and and I'm like, I'm not looking at his dick green glow coming from the urinal. No, he wasn't peeing into into kryptonite. No, he know he green. He doesn't shoot green out of his dick that you're thinking of Crypto, right, So he's standing there. All he needed was the fan to blow the to blow the kpe back. But he was literally standing like enough away from the thing, like he was peeing like Superman with

his with his hands on his hips with fists on it. Right. So I'm like, how many times when you see this guy's dick? So I don't want to see some many more So After Comic Con, I walk outside and you know how those those people at every like, okay, if you go to a car Never in a million years thought that our conversation about comic Con would end up about being about bathrooms in them in comic Con comicon

bathroom all right. So you you know, when you go to a concert, like a rock concert, and and the audience tends to be and I'm just telling them like it is, you go to like Billy Joel, or you go to like a heavy metal show, the audience is predominantly uh white, okay. And then you go outside and is the people who look clearly not like the audience, and they're selling T shirts and they're easy to spot

because they don't look like the people in the concert. Right, and plus they have a stack of T shirts on their back or whatever bags, yes, right, and onto their shirts. They're harding from the corps whenever. Okay, but you can spot them because they don't look like the audience. Fine, that's not it's just the thing. It's this facts. I'm

not insulting anybody. So, uh, there's guys outside comic Con who are in their forties or and and they clearly don't look like they've been in comic Con and and and they don't have any interest and they've been out there all day. I saw them when I went in and I come out and some of them are young, some of them are old, all ages, but they're all

hanging out for different reasons. And there was a bunch of guys handing out c d s. They were aspiring hip hop artists, I assume, right, and they know a guy selling T shirts whatever, but the younger guys were selling We're handing out hip hop c ds. Now, normally when they do that, they say they give you the c D and they go, hey, man, give me five bucks donation right for the c D. And You're like, no, no, I want to hear the c D. So you don't really get it for free, right. I told you that story.

We're back in the day when I worked worked on in radio and I said to the guy handed me hip hop c D and and he says, hey man, check out my c D. So he gave it to me and I was like, hey man, could I get a ten dollar donation right? And as he's like, how about five whatever, I s I'll tell you what I'll do one better. I will give this to my friends on the morning show a power one oh five and see if they like it. Friends with Charlemagne and they were like, no, man, I just want to five bucks.

And I was like, that's a bakery decision. So these guys wanted social media followers. They wanted you to come over and follow them on Instagram so they could build up their follower base. Understood, But here's the thing. Opportunists entrepreneurs. Yes, because the laws of New York have changed recently. They were this is what they were yelling, Yo, we're looking for followers. Free weed for a follow. They had little packages of weed. I don't know how much was in them.

It's amazing. What a brilliant, brilliant ploy. And they were handing at people were coming up and following them on Instagram. Yes, right, you can't sell it, well, you can't sell it, but they were given away little bags of marijuana to assume it was real. We weed for a follow How about that? That's great? How about that? How about that? I love it now? Well, a couple of days later, maybe it was a couple of days before I forget in which order.

I took my daughter, I dropped her off. I didn't go to see Sabrina coppenter at Webster Hall after the concert. You know what happens. You come out and then those of those guys selling the bootleg T shirts, you know, twenty dollars inside, five dollars outside. Now it's like inside. So you know, when you wanted to buy a shirt from a guy with a trash bag full of shirts back in the day, you have to have cash, Yes, not anymore. No, the T shirts scalpers now except Venmo.

That's great, and they can't get They're not gonna get tractor or persecuted for it because it's probably legal at this point. I don't know if you can't sell boots again again, whatever your hustle is like, you know, Sabrina shirts ten dollars. We except Venmo, well cash shop, cash at me right now, cash out at me right now. I'm selling bootleg shirts Venmo me this podcast. We we

I mean, we are, Oh my god. Stuff two more breaks to take Jesus, Oh, I got I got stuff list as do I. But before we leave today, I'll tell you how I got stopped by Homeland Security. Of course, all right, so a couple of short things or what because I got something short, go for it? No, you go something short and not go something short. Well, mine involves Dick. You know, I want to hear about Dick first. Yeah, but we just did. We just talked about supers, right,

That's why I want to have a little separation. Separation. You gotta keep Dick separated. Well, all right, this one's long, so I'm talking about this little side note. This has happened to me last night. I freaked out, you know, and I mentioned it on the Elvistrand Show today. But uh, this was I was sleeping. Of course you were, you bastard. My apps are starting to fight with each other. They're getting jealous of each other. This happened to me yesterday.

I don't know if it's ever happened to you, but I was ordering grub Hub last night. I was sitting there, filling up the shopping cart, just doing my thing, and all of a sudden, a notification comes in from Uber eats. Player two has entered the game in the middle of

me filling up this cart. It said, by one, get on free right now, hurry, limited time only, like literally, a notification from grub hub, and I'm sorry from a notification from uber eats comes on, but it's almost like the one app knew that I was using the other app and got jealous. That's fucked up. But you know, first forget about the fact that these phones, your your phone is talking to itself and the apps are community. But the apps are communicating in the background, and they're

literally trying to outdo themselves. They're like, no, no, no, no, no no no, stop filling up that grubhub shopping cart. Come over here in the door dash because it was literally a notification that came into my dropdowns. It was I came up right as I was ordering this food. I was like, wow, the fucking balls of the of the uber eats app to interrupt. They clearly see I'm

going for Grubhub. But is it is that ever happening where two apps compete, because because you know, I've also seen this with my best Buy app, it just starts sucking firing off like deals in the middle of nowhere when I'm buying something else on Amazon something. Do you have a set to give you push notifications? Well you know they have, yes, But the thing is, how did the hell does it know? That means it's not minding

its own business. That means it's not using its own like I'll open it, you know, when I'll call on you when I feel like it. They're Ober Eats app when I but you're the app was closed. That means something's fucked up going on somewhere in the background on my phone. Information is being exchanged. Have you ever been watching and hubb and red Tube opens up by itself? No, I used that. It was a serious question. Yeah, serious on Android, and I don't know. I'm not I'm saying

that it's better. I'm just saying on Android, you can go to each individual app and turn off usage in the background, like background usage. Could you do that on your iPhone? Like make sure they don't want in the background. Yeah, maybe maybe it's a setting, but you may Yeah, you may have it. You may have ad It's like Instagram when you're when you're on your you're on your on your computer searching for backpacks and you go on your phone and all of a sudden, Instagram you're showing you

backpack ads. You're like, what, It just feels dirty. It feels like like I don't like I don't like Uber eats, knowing that I'm filling up my Grubhub shopping cart. You mind your own fucking business. But anyway, it definitely knew because it was trying to lure me away. Well with Uber Eats a better deal, did it win you over? No? No, I was already It was always already um balls deep in my h my grub hub. So anyway, all right,

well I pulled over a Wonder truck. I talked to you about Wonder trucks on the show here right, won d Bread, No Wonder trucks. There's that food trucks. Oh oh yeah, the Wonder trucks. Yes, we we spoke about it. Your favorite restaurants basically come to you in the form of a food truck and they come up with the

food ingredients right right in front of your house. So so they just added I I don't know if he was promoting it on on the Big Show, but they just added Bobby Flay, so you can get food from Bobby Flay's want of Bobby Flay's steakhouses and all his food. And I saw. I texted him and I'm like, hey, Bobby, I just got the new Wonder brochure at my house. They added you. I'm sure you know that, but I'm very excited, he wrote, So he so I was like, yeah,

I had to work out that deal. You don't think they just did that right, because I was like, no, I knew, you knew. I just want to let you know I know, and I'm gonna order your food. I said, hey, listen, Bobby, wanta ask you a question, but I'm not asking you for a reservation. He wrote back, I know you're not scary. He knows me all too well. By the way, I have his um chocolate Brios banana bread in my in my apartment here with the coconut cream that went along

with it. He brought a whole trade of it in yesterday, made it himself, okay, and then uh it didn't you know it? It went but it was still over half a tray left. So I said, I'm playing the part of broody today and I'm gonna take this home. So it's about I'm not there to do it, so I'm The other thing is I talked to Bobby Flay about my food network idea for a TV show, and I said, hey, Bobby,

what's what's involved? What I do? He says, Oh, listen, his food network was brought out by another company, and it's a little more difficult and Uh, it's just public knowledge. You're allowed to say this. No, No, it's they were brought by another company. I was an okay company, He goes, But it's it's a lot of a lot more like stream lot. It's not. It's very like by the book, and it's it's a couple of years process to pitch

TV show and you gotta have a production company. And everything was like wow Wow, So I gotta I gotta bump into a food network executive at a bar and just be like, yeah, I got this idea, like hit him up, get him dunk, get him, get him drunk. And I'm John, all right, do you want to hear? So? I need to know how you how you would relate to this. So I'm on TikTok and is this this funny account I follow? And it's a it's a girl

in her twenties maybe I'm gonna say twenties. And she put up a video and she wrote on the screen on the on the video, I'm about two in quotes, can you teach me about baseball? Quote my way into some dick. So, in other words, she's gonna see she's gonna oh, can you teach me about baseball? Is as her way of getting some dick tonight. It's gonna standing appointment like she's making. In other words, I'm gonna pretend I care about baseball to get some guy to like

me so he'll suck me tonight. So basically what sometimes some women do on Sundays where they go out to football Sundays. Yea, there had no competition for football. Another one of the words, I'm gonna go ask some questions about foot all my way into getting some dick tonight. I love that. I mean, it's it's it's it's a

cool concept. But I really think that if if someone's in in the mode of I'm just using you guys, that are as an example, if guys are in the mode of their watching their sports, I feel like they're like, you can walk across this and it won't matter. So I don't know about that. My point is I think she was either going to go to a ball Yeah. I think it's a value. It's a valiant effort on her part, right, So because that's a turn on for guys.

Oh you want me to tell you about now listen. Personally, I would rather be with a woman who knows about sports, then I have to teach her. That's a woman. I love sports, except my girlfriend. Everyone loves I mean, you go to these bars, you go to any forget. Look at some of these cities where college game day is a huge thing and everyone goes to the games or watches and tailgates and stuff, and they go to these bars.

They are into the football, They're into these games. So okay, So I would like all women or not someone I would. I didn't say all women. I said this girl specifically, not a fan. I'm about to quote, can you teach me about based on my way into some dick? She's a fake fan, right, Okay, she's doing what you gotta do. So I've got a couple of questions I have now number one slices. Would this work on you? Or have you done this to a to another person, regardless of

whether it's your female or male. Have you showed interest in something like I'm gonna Broadway show my way into some vagina tonight, you know what I mean? Like I'm gonna mu I'm gonna talk about I'm gonna ask about musicals or what are you gonna do? What have you done? Which you completely faked because you knew it would get you some sex. My next question is for Scary Jones, So I'd like you to tweet us or by the way, Scary tell people how they can talk to us. Don't

even tweet us at the tweet thing. I want you to leave us voicemails because we haven't done talk back radio app on the Brooklyn Boys podcast and leave us voicemails about how you are on the micros phone. Hold it down and talk back to us, and we tell us who you are away from, and tell us what didn't you come up with? What didn't you bullshit your

way into some some sex? Right? We didn't checked it in a while, we'll check and as it as it worked on you, like, oh, this girl came up with this guy came up to me whatever, and they pretended and I fell for it and I was into it. Now, now that we've established that, Scary, what would a girl have to pretend to be interested in for you to not forget about your girlfriend? You said you pretend you single. What would a girl have to pretend to be into

for you to be like? Yeah, yeah, that's a real tough one, man, It really is, because because I mean the answer is food, great restaurants, you know, and and that's what I got right now, So I mean, yeah, it's it's uh, it's so so I'm come about to somebody bunch my way into some scary dick. I don't have definitive I don't have definitive things in my life, like golf, you know, like some people are golfers, right, but you're a radio You're a radio dorc. What if

some girls like, oh, tell me about radio. I mean, you've used that for sex before, so let's not use that an example. Stuff out you back in the day. Come on, DJ you you hooked up because you in radio because I was. But right, so if a girl came up to you and you're like, tell me about your radio, tell me about your job. I'm so excited about radio. Yeah, and she didn't give a shit about radio. But you're like, okay, you'd be into that. So is there anything else that you would like? You know, yeah,

you're asking. I hate to not play along, but if I'm being completely honest, I don't have it. There's nothing for me. I don't like, you know, I don't have hobbies like that. If I don't, I don't like. But there's nothing like oh, man, if a girl is into that, I'd be so into her. Not I'm not a gamer, so I don't like video games much. I mean, I mean, I'm okay with video games. I think they're cool, but

I'm not. It's not like, yeah, man, you see Fortnite, you you're playing that or you know you want to that? To me? Is you know? No, there's nothing specific, nothing, no, no, what about you? But food? Well? I got too many things for me. I have too many things. Yeah, baby, baseball would be comedy, it would be it would be late night talk shows, it would be uh yeah. Maybe. My favorite musical groups are like, oh my god, I love Joe Sato. You do. Yeah, music would be if

through music? Yeah that yeah, absolutely. Beastie boys maybe you know, I mean old school. I mean, I know you keep talking. Let's say girl comes up to you at a a Halloween party and she's like your beauty and the beastie boy I totally get it, and you're like, oh yeah, yeah, you'd be all of it. I don't know, man, I think I think this is a stretch. Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever pretended to be into something to get some v No? No, you've never

liked been with a girl. And you're like, okay, all right, we'll be hold on a second. You want to talk about about my profile on America. You want to go back to America online? You know, like long walks on the beach and museums. I love museums and cafes, and I like I like to work out. Yeah, that's all lies. They're all big lies. Okay, what would you have done? Would you have done that? Was? You know, I wish I had a screenshot of my my old America online?

Uh okay, what would you have done? If some girl hits you up because of the museum thing and she's like, you know what, I'd like to meet you, let's go, let's go to MoMA. It happened. So what did you do? What did you do on a date? And she was, let's go to the Cloisters And it was a Cloisters is one of those huge and I don't know if it's I think it's up to but anyway, you know, we went and I pretended to be into it. And then you know, did your museum your way into some

v No, no, never led to that. I was I was good enough. Yeah, Well because as I got more, became more mature, and I realized, just be yourself, man, just be you. And that's who I am. But I wasn't. I was a partistic guy who uses the fake radio name. It was a pretender back then. My real last name is Scary. Come on, I know, I know, I know here, but I I was a pretender back then in the A O. L days in the nineties and didn't know what was happening, you know too much, didn't know much

about life. And I'm like, fucking I'm gonna just gonna I'm gonna put this out there because this is what they want to hear. These are the buzzwords right now at the moment. Are cafes are you know, are working out whatever it was and and uh, you know it gets you in the front door, but it doesn't you don't close the conversation. You know, it gets you a conversation started, right, but you don't necessarily finish, so you but you would totally trying to museum your way into

some some some p back in the day. Yeah, okay, all right, all right, we gotta take all right past Scary. You just keep going on and on and on and on. This Okay, so I will I'll wait for god you go. No, I'm kidding we uh no, no, we're just behind it, behind it right now. But that's okay. Uh So we'll probably have a lot of voice talkbacks we haven't played. We're not going to play him this week, no, because they're not ready. Yeah, but next week we should have

some ready. We're going we'll definitely play the ones that we just talked about and get back to some good old fashion email. You can always email us at the Brooklyn Boys Podcast at gmail dot com. I feel like email is a lost art. Email is what what snail mail was fifteen years ago. I feel like we're experiencing that now. We're in a drought. I'm trying to take a look at the inbox. Is there even anything worth? I won't even play the jingle because there's not much. Okay, so,

uh okay, here we go. I got one uh not from Wow September. This thing is not playing the jingle? Do you have the jingle? Did you bring the jingle? Hang? I got the jingle for the you want to for one email? You want to play the jingle? Okay, well, only only because I like it's time. Welcome you've got mail. See that's why I wanted you to play it. That's our second America online reference this episode. Okay, well you can email. Has had the Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail

dot com. Brody, scary, Scary Brodie. This is my first time ever contacting y'all. But I just had a scam. Bony happened to me. Oh wait, hold on, hold on. Now I gotta get the Scamboni jingle because they had a Scamboni jingle. Now I gotta You can't play two things at once, and you better get all the listen in order jingles home before you guys moved studios. Here's the Scamboni. It's a double no no. So anyway, I'm from the South. I'm from South Georgia and sharpened knives

and saws. Oh I sharpened knives and saws for paper mills. And since I have to make seventeen hour deliveries every Friday, I was at boost Sees bu Ce Apostrophys filling up my truck as I'm walking in and probably probably yeah, I'm sure I hate Italian word. As as I'm as I'm walking in, a vehicle approaches me with four guys. Maybe in their early twenties and what seemed to be of uh not ethnic and ethnic descent. They said, sir, we noticed you had a beard, so you must be honorable,

must be an honorable man like us. We need help the head beards. We need help getting home. Here take our gold. Well, by the way, is this like another dimension another? Oh? Here, take our gold. They were all wearing golden necklaces and rings and tried giving them to me in exchange for cash. I told him I didn't have any cash, and then they said, okay, they have a t M machine inside now of course as a slice.

I had to correct them and told them it's just a t M. They looked at me all days and confused. I told them, listen, I know y'all, fox are trying to scam me, to do me a favor and make like a tree and get the funk out of here. Hashtag scamboni, hashtag fuck your random random car of Oh my goodness, that's a slur. Hashtag sluss for life anyway, So there you have it. H people with beards. Men with beards came in and tried to get cash for gold. I guess, um at this, Okay, this is what goes

on in South Georgia. It sounds like a scamboni because let's let's just take a step back for a second. I'm assuming he's implying that they're ethnic, that either they're religious Jews, which it doesn't sound like they are, or maybe the Middle don't the reason I'm saying, maybe the Middle Easterners. What if maybe that they're Saudi princesses, princess what what if they're like they're loaded with gold. That's exactly where this person was. That's where Cameron was going

with this. His name is Cameron, Thank you, Cameron. Uh yeah, that's what that's they were. They were leaning into. They were leaning into what they looked like, right, we have gold. Who has gold? Okay, whatever? And if it's real gold, they could be like they could be, they could have been. They could be Saudi princesses, prince princess. We don't know if they were not. But I mean, talk about an odd ball happening, right, I mean, that is weird. In

the middle of South Georgia. You just walk into a knife sharp sharpening place whatever, and this is I don't know anyway, I wouldn't. I'll say what I wouldn't try to Scamboni. A guy who shopping knives were living, that's for sure, right, So that's a guy you don't want to mess with, Cameron, So all right, Scamboni. Um, we were talking a little while ago about is another email? That's it. That's the only one. That's what my point was.

We need more because that was the only email. Okay, we were talking earlier about like just a little while ago, about using your fake name and pretending on dates. Right. So, uh, I told you my wife and I went out to dinner on an alphabet city last week. Right. Um, we went to a rest an area that I told you it was a little shady. Yes, we had a great meal. Right. So it was like, what ever say like fish areas or whatever whatever I say. Yep, So there's apparently there's

a location on the west side. We went to the east side. There's a location on the west side that's boogie and you can't get a table. I love it. So the place on the east side is the same food, but because it's not in the best area, you can get a table there. So I wanted my wife said I should tell Scary to go to the one on the west side because you can't get a table. He'll

love that. That being said. When we were walking we were there was a bar that had like a little deck out front, d e c K deck out front with Look, there's some tables and chairs, that's right. So there was a girl, a woman sitting at a table and a guy was I don't know, he was on the sidewalk, maybe at the foot of this little deck area, and he says, he's just a load of harsh is

high and he says. She says something like, oh, are you coming in and have a drink, And he's like, I don't know, I don't know what I want to do with something like that. So he says, my name, my name's Chris. Nice to meet you. And she says, oh, my name is Eleana, I mean Elena. No, I'm sorry. She goes, my name is Elena, I mean Eleanor. So she gave him a fake name, obviously, So how do you pronounce your own name right? She was, my name's uh, Elena,

I mean Eleanor. But that's what it was, Elena and Eleanor. So, first of all, once you correct yourself, how do you correct yourself on your own name? She wasn't drunk, right, It wasn't It wasn't like she she didn't have an accent. Were like, oh, in America, my name is pronounced this way, and she said it wrong. She said, my name is Elena, I mean Eleanor. So is her real name Elena? And

she gives her fake name eleanor Or. It's her fake name Elena that she's been given out all night and now she's giving her real name of this guy because he's attractive, and she saying, no, my real name is Eleanor. What's going on there? What do you think is going on? Who does that? Why? I think that she wanted to be true in that moment, but she probably was not truthful prior to that. That's my guess. My best guy, I mean, so one of them is a lie? So

was she? Was she? In other words, was she lying all night and decided to stop lying because the guy was good looking? Like? What what does she forget? She just like, did she trying to trick the guy? It seems weird? You think, you know, it's pretty bizarre. Um, I don't. I don't know. I don't know what to make of that. I can't I can't make heads or tales of it. Have you ever lied about your name? Never?

I've thought about that. I've thought about um because I did lie about my name once, Because for years I would think about working in radio or in real life if somebody didn't know, like wanted to beat me up or like follow me or show up somewhere and like, hey, are you David Brody. A lot of times I go huh no, well no, Like I say no because I don't know if I get someone like a bill collector or someone who was hired to kill me. Right, So I was like, if someone asks if I am him,

I don't know how to answer that. So I always have a fake name ready and a fake in my head, like a fake last name you have? You have a full fake identity. How deep does that go? So you have a name and age and occupation. Well, I have a first and last name from two different people I know, so I won't forget their names. And I and my kids names are different because they're they're kids of my friends, right, and I know how old they are. And then I have made up birthdays like I'm ready to go, but

do you have made up occupation? And yeah, and I made up address yeah, wow, all ready to go like premeditated, yes, because I don't have that. So if I was ever to want to lie on the spot, it would be pretty difficult because I don't have anything like at the ready. I mean, I would see my name May Jones. Motherfucker, I'm Peter. You're Peter. I could say Peter that that's what came to my mind. And you have a last name. You have to have a last name, say, you have

to have to spell it. You have to spell it quickly like peterel right, Peter scoot s c U n g I l l I right. And and I just hope he is he's not familiar with the food. I'm eleanor I mean Elena. I mean you think about it like like if someone does, like spell your last name like b R O D why, But if you say your last name is like let's say Goldstein, you'd have to go G O L D S T. You wouldn't say it in the right way. You have to you have to be prepared for that could happen. You never.

So now, my uh, that's what I have to do. I have to create I have to create a fake profile or something something. I have to write it down and then memorize it. But but it's got to go deeper than just name, address and and your occupation. Well, I would say maybe maybe maybe get fake I d to match the fake fake. Yeah, well, why we are

we on the lamb here? What's going on? No? I just I always pictured walking into the radio station at like, you know, five in the morning and somebody like I was mad about a phone tap I did or something I said on the air. You know, I've said some things that maybe could piss somebody off, and like, hey, you're that brody motherfucker. I think we all have that. I think yeah, but if like no, oh, yeah, you're not brody, then who are you? I'll go, Oh, I'm blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah. I work on the

fourth like the other companies in our building. I was like, oh, I work at such and such company on the on the whatever floor. I had to have a story. They're like, okay, all right there, buggsy yeah, buggsy, No, I'm not bugsy. Um, speaking of fake stories, take a break. I can't tell you about how I got stopped by Homeland Security and I got something quick for you too. Um, where I want to go here. Um, all right, I'm just gonna throw this out there. Yeah, all right, maybe we should

save this for next week. This may this may take a while. I discovered something and I don't know if and I don't know if the person uh knows that there there significant other is on this app. Yeah. I was brought to my attention by a friend of mine. Oh my god, I'm being so covert here because I don't want to give this away and maybe who knows, but let me let me throw this out there. Bertie.

You uh, you do for a living. You have a profession where you need this, you need you provide a service for people, okay, and they make appointments with you, okay whatever that don't guess all right, whatever that services?

So you would list yourself, you would list yourself on websites to find people for that service, right whatever that whatever that service specialized service is, okay you would right, okay, So you would you would There's a lot of different types of like indeed, dot com and this is not a commercial and all these places you know, right or whatever, these person to person apps that are out there. Let me ask you something. Would you put yourself on bumble if you were trying to find it people to pay

for you for your services, the legitimate services. Because there's a there's a section of bumble called bumble biz. It's for business nother the bumble, bumble friend and bumble. But when you think of bumble, you think of hook ups. That's what I think of. I mean, it's the first in mind. So apparently there's this whole other section of bumble that I was told about by this person that you can actually do put your you list your business on there so you can attract people sure for your

for your professional business of the service that you're offering. God, okay, you follow so far alright without giving anything away. But is there reason to believe that bumble biz is anything more than people on their shopping for you know, a match for that biz or when you think of bumble, because it's under the umbrella of bumble, it's got the image, it's got the branding of what bumble is. It's are you trying to really hook up with somebody in disguise?

Because I don't know because the person with the business that's listed is is is uh is part of a couple. And I'm not even giving away gender here, he'd like to see what I did there. Okay, so let me see. Let me see I'm clarified because you're all over the map. Well, I'm not all over the map. I'm just I just want being very careful of my words. That's all. Okay.

So let's say and we'll leave by that we should revisit this next week because I'm gonna try and find out because if the person in the other the other person the couple is aware, then we should talk to that the person or both people and say, but wait a minute, how can you ask the other person if I do some homework? Shut up? All right? Next? All right, so so so continue so so again continue Okay, so it sounds like it's possible. We'll say this it's We'll

say it's a it's a woman. We'll say there's a woman on bumble biz who is available to to looking for for c p A. Let's just say they're an accountant. Would you list if you were really just looking for uh people to do their taxes like a c p A? Would you would bumble biz be the place that you would meet them? And what kind of people are shopping on bumble biz for? Are they really like, is a tax person wants looking for a cp A going to Bumble biz trying to make that match. I don't know,

maybe not. Maybe if you were a specialized thing, like let's say you were a computer tech that went door to door and come to your house and fix your computer, or a mechanic in the area, because there's guys who do that on Facebook. They're like, Hey, I'm a mechanic, I'm out of work. I'll come to your house fix your car. But if you're saying this was okay, is it possible scary? This job is a little not the

most straight ahead job. No no, no, no, no no no, it's nothing about it's nothing, no dominators, no no. If this is not like escort situations, no no, no, this is this is legitimate. This person is a legitimate has a legitimate business practice. Then why would the spouse care thing? Because I think that of all places to list, of all places to list said business, why wouldn't you go to Bumble for it? Why would Bumble be the place

to go the bumble? Yeah? Well, maybe head out of my ask because I can't think of Bumble beyond a hook up app. But I think of a hook up. So I think of people looking to hook up and then hook ups on the other side of it, so I think of people shopping but they happen to be on bumble and like, oh this biz category. Let me see, maybe I'll meet a guy or a girl on the biz and then they get to you know what I'm saying, like what kind of customer does that attract? And I

don't know. So that's that's really what I just wanted to Maybe maybe that maybe the person is posting everywhere because they're they're really in need of people, of clients, so they post everywhere. And maybe they have a friend who's also an accountant, right, And their friends said, it's the strangest thing. I was on bumble I tried out the BIS thing. I got an AD pop up on my friend and and it worked for me. My friend my friend sent me the screenshot. I'm like, yep, that's

that person. Oh look at that. Oh there's their business okay. And and this person said to me, why would so and so list their business of all places on bumble biz when there's other places that you can get clients. So and that's it. So is that what I'm saying is is that really the most appropriate place if you're may be bumble biz. Maybe bumble biz is a lot less expensive than indeed and all those others. I don't know. I don't know. We could come back to this. I

just I'm curious. I don't think. Actually, I know they say when they smoke this fire, but in this case, I know that I know these two people, and I'm like, I don't think there's anything there. But but I find it fascinating that they chose bumble biz as the place to list their biz. All right, back to your part and then well here's what I is. All right, I don't understand if it was, if it was a normal business, why the spouse would a normal business? No, I think

it's not. I think it's much funnier if it's not. I think that's the problem. I think you're you're henging it's got to be an. I can't give away with the businesses because it's not. It's not a normal business. It's not. It's not if it was an accountan, why would it Why would the spouse care? So it's a dominatrix or it's not offering that they're not offering any of that. They're not offering those services, then why would

a spouse care. The spouse would care because because it's the mere existence of it is on bumble biz and not on Indeed, that's what I'm saying, Like, you're on bum You're in the bumble world. You need them, you need the bumble app to do it. I don't know, I just feel like that was my initial thought, and the person who brought it to my attention it was their thought as well. But well, because this person is single and looking for well, looking for a partner. Alright, alright,

well we okay, you want you wanna do something short? Yeah, well, I know, I gotta tell you. I got to talk about why I got stopped by Homeland Security. Oh god, well, let's go for it, all right. So I'm gonna tell you what happened at Customs later next week, because it's the leading already is later next week, all right. So we came back from Amsterdam, my wife and I got off the plane, we went through them. Something happened to Customs, doesn't matter, nothing bad. It's a funny story, but I'll

tell you that afterwards. So my wife had applied for global entry. Now global entry, you have global entry yes. Now Global Entry gets you a card that means you no longer have to go through security, you know, if the shoes off, you just show the card and it's like I'm verified. It's like the blue checkmark, like I'm good,

I'm not a criminal. I'm good. So I had applied for Global Entry on the website and it says once you're approved, they make you make an appointment and you go to a local place, uh, like like a post office or some kind of place, and they do your interview. So I had not yet received my confirmation email because I applied like three a month before we went to Amsterdam on the cruise. Right, Okay, my wife had applied

two months earlier. She got the email saying you can do it at a local place or you can do it at the airport. So my wife says, well, we go through customs, I'll do my interview. You can hang out for tenants. It's a tenant interview and uh and that'll be it. It's okay, so you'll go, no problem. So, uh, we flew back Scary on Monday, Labor Day, right, so it's a holiday, I think, right, right, Okay, So we

walk through customs and we go to this. We go down the hall and there's this area for Global Entry and this people lined up. There's maybe five people online. We get online and this Homeland security guy who's working with Global Entry comes over. He's in the unit in a police uniform type thing, and he says, Hi, my name is uh whatever his name is, and he says, listen, are you all here for Global Entry interviews? And I said, well, I'm not. I think I'm waiting to hear back and

I haven't got an email yet. Just my wife is gonna go through. He says, I let me tell you what's gonna happen. I'm gonna ask you a series of questions. And one of the questions is gonna be have you have have been arrested for a crime. Don't lie to me, don't pretend. He says, I can find out. I have all the research at my fingertips if you were arrested, I'm gonna find out about it. And that's gonna be a problem for you. You You want to get Global Entry, you need to be open and honest with me. If

you've been arrested, you're not getting Global Entry. Don't waste my time. I'm telling you now don't play stupid, don't play ignorant. He goes on and on and on. He goes, we got people here at the airport that can take care of this. You don't want to mess with us. Don't you come to me if you're gonna be a lawyer, go leave now. So I'm like, what funk? I wonder if there's people that must like lie and try to

get over. I'm like, So the first couple of people go and they walk up to this he gets in like a plexiglass booth and uh he you have to like fingerprint yourself on a machine, and they do it. I can take your photograph and they ask you a bunch of questions. So we're waiting and my wife says, check your email again, because really I haven't checked my email because in Europe we gotta pay for that a roaming whatever. So I checked my email and lo and behold.

On Friday and afternoon I got the email back from Global Entry that said you can go do your interview. Fantastic. So my wife and I go up together and I said, by the way, so far this is this is my exact experience as well, So so this is what you're saying is nothing out of the ordinary. They do. They do want all the liars to just go away, because they will they have access to your records. Can't You can't funk with these people, so fun with them. No, you just tell me. So we go up and my

wife says, I'm ready to do it. He says, okay, his uh, sir, can you wait off to the side, because I said, Sarah, actually I just got the letter. I showed him the letter. I can I can do. My interview goes, okay, great, this is your wife will go first because she was ready first. So she answers all the questions, you get anything, blah blah blah, and she passes, of course, because we're not bad people. And she goes through, and she stands there with me because

she's my wife. Would together, and he says, I give me your information. I give me my driver's license, my passport. I tell him I am and he's you know, he's typing away, you know, of course, typing away. Uh huh huh. And and he says, so what's your security number? I tell him where do you live? They have you ever been arrested? No? Okay, but my questions were typing. He does a slow burn and turns to me and he says, Sir, you said you've never been arrested. I say, that's correct,

you've never been arrested. And he says, I told you. I told everybody, don't lie to me because we will always find out there. You go, okay, but I I've never committed a crime. I'm my father's a police I was a police officer. I'm the most honest perk. I don't do drugs on that guy. He looks at me and he says, uh huh, what happened? But what I don't know? Okay, Now before I tell you, I have to ask the podcast. I have to ask you. Have I told you what happened to me in Hawaii? Did

I tell you the story? I have told the story, so I will recap it now a little bit. I said, sir, I don't the Only thing that ever happened to me was I had a traffic incident in on MAUI. That's it. He says, well, according to this, you were arrested. And I told you if you arrested, I'm gonna find out what it was. What what happened? I said, Well, do you mean what happened? I said, okay, go tell me the story about what happened. I go, it wasn't It wasn't even a real arrest. So I tell him the story.

In case you don't remember when I told it on the podcast, I give you the short version that I got run off the road by a guy on the on the road to Haunt on the way back to the airport, and he it was it was either going to run into him, and he cut me off and my fender scraped a stone bridge. And because they were like a hundred stone bridges on this three hour road. When I got back to the rental car agency, they said,

what happened to your car? It was in a strip mall and I said, well, we have the twelve dollars insurance. I'm covered for the damage. But I got run off the road and I hit this bridge, and I tell the I'm telling Homeland Security this, and um he said okay, And then what happened? I said? Well? He said, well, because you hit uh, you have more than twofts worth of damage. We have to report it as a as

a traffic incident. And so next the next store in the strip roll was an outpost for the Hawaiian police department and the police officer. I tell us, I'm telling this to the Homeland Security guy. The police officer came in and he had me telling the story, and I told him the guy cut me off and ranning off the road and I scraped the bridge and he said which bridge, he's Are you sure you didn't hit a rock, and I said, no, I didn't hit a rock. Officer,

are you sure you didn't hit a tree? No, Officer, I hit the bridge. I realized. Then I tell them telling this to the officer, I said, officer Homeland Security. Um. I realized the officer was trying to get me to not say I hit the state property, which was the bridge. He was trying to help me, But I'm an honest person and I didn't want to lie to him, so I said, no, sir, I hit the bridge, thinking I was being honest. But what he wanted me to say was I didn't hit the bridge, because now I've hit

state property and he had to go examine it. Well. It took him hours to find the bridge because there's a hundred bridges on this road, and every time you turn the corner the road narrows. To his job a lot more difficult by and then they finally right and because I hit state property, they had to bring me into the precinct in a police car, and I told you the story. They fingerprinted me and took my mug shots and I held up the numbers on my chest and they put me in a cell with a drunk

guy who was never he was a whin. Oh, I guess at the time. They called him a whino and my and they made it. They kind of like lighthearted about it. And in fact, my friend Rob got a copy of my mug shots because they were like, you know, like polaroids back then. And uh, the guy that they made me take a second set and afterwards you're like, yeah, Rob, my friend Rob was on the planet. He goes, I asked him to take it out the set. They told me.

They didn't come out right. They lied, they were playing along. My buddy got its officer Homeland Security guy. Um, I'm gonna call him Victor so I don't have to keep saying Homeland Security guy. I said, Victor. They made a joke of it. They gave my friend a second copy of my mug shots because there wasn't really an arrest. It was like the fact that I accidentally hit a

state bridge. They had to like process it, and they admitted to me it's a scam because they give you a court date and they know you're not coming back. So I paid a hundred dollars bail right to get out that I would have gotten back and I come back to court. It was not a big thing. He looks at me, goes, h huh uh huh. Yeah, I'm gonna have to call this in Okay. He called Hawaii from the airport on Labor Day and I think this

was like seven in the morning when we landed. Maybe He calls the while he goes, yeah, this is Victor from Homeland Security at uh at New York International. Right, he says, I've got to I've got to check the records I have. He calls the Maui police. He goes, I have a gentleman here. He'sa applying for global entry and apparently he was arrested in night. All right, I'm aging myself. It was eight and uh, you know I'm saying this. He didn't say so in vict Is He's

whispering the phone. He's like, look, the guy is applying. I want to know why he was arrested. She's like, He's like, I know it's early. I know you're light staffed. I need This is homeland security. This is a major issue. And my wife's holding my hand. She's like, oh my god, what's going on here? I'm like, oh my god. So he's like, uh huh and what does that mean? Ham, what does that mean? And what does that term mean? Uh huh? And what does that mean on his record?

Uh huh? And what does reckless reckless driving mean? What does that mean in terms of how do you process that? Uh? It's a code what uhuh? Like a twelve or something whatever? Huh? He said. So he turns to me and he says, so, did they mentioned to you it was it wasn't reckless driving? I forget the term he used, because but let's say it was unsafe whatever it was he was. Did they tell you it was reckless driving? I go, well, I wasn't reckless driving. The guy cut me off into it.

I had no choice but to question to him or question to the bridge. I'm a safe driver. I wasn't drinking or anything, he says. He says he was cut off in the rental car. But he says, ah, so it was an it was it was it was seventeen or whatever. He's wrong. So they turns to me, goes, huh, okay, thank you, and he looks down at his computing. He starts typing. He starts typing. He's not talking to me. So I go, I go, So I go, um um my, Am I in trouble for lying? Why day? I don't?

I don't know what I'm while it's happening here. So he stands up and he puts his lead, comes up to the plexiglass and he says, you've passed. I said, I said what He goes, apparently it's what you said. Yes, He goes, the story check, the story checks, it's checks out. You you you have your card in the mail in a couple of weeks. Not a liar, that's it. I know. I go, but you you couldn't have said something before the typing. I've been I'm pissing my pants here. He says,

I did tell you not to lie to me. I go, who would have thought? He goes, I understand? Are you okay? So dude, I was shipping my self because because he said, He goes, because he's have to call. I have to call airport. Airport security uh to come over to to to interview you. Like if they had told him, I like, if Maui police had said yes, this was a criminal offense, I would have just lied to Homeland Security. I I had a hope that someone answered the gonna lie. That's

that's crazy to me. He was gonna, he said, we may he goes. He said to me, goes, if I can't get someone on the phone from the now we police, we may have to detain you until somebody comes into the office. Like I'm like, what he says, good because he goes. It's falsifying documents I put down. I wasn't arrested, right, So this fucking stupid traffic thing from Hawaii from is still fucking haunting me. He's haunting me. I almost didn't

get global entry. I almost got arrested at the airport or something stupid because they wanted a hundred allar scamboni on me that they knew it was a scamboni. They admitted it was a scamboni and they they haven't. I was like, can you ask them if they can wipe my record? He's like, it's not my jurisdiction. That's a local thing. You could call them, I go holy ship, maybe you should call them Brodie. I would. I would

definitely for the rest of my life. On job applications if they ask you if I've been arrested, Like, what if I say no, and they don't want to hire me because they found out I was arrested. And if I say I was arrested, what if they don't want to hire me because I was arrested? Holy scare. You know, I'm like, I don't DVDs, I don't do anything I know, especially since they don't make him anymore but him. All right, all right, we need to breathe. Okay, we're good. Yeah,

that's sucked up. It's funked up. And listen on several in several ways, man, thirty four years ago, a guy ran me off the road. Holy sh it. Yeah, Well, as long as you keep explaining it, I think you know, the truth shall set you free, David Brodie, and I think it will set us all free. And you know

where people are the most honest in Brooklyn. In Brooklyn, you any saying okay, So I'm say I think the knife stealing woman from Brooklyn last week proved that we are not honest musically, Boys Brooklyn, Brooklyn Boys Brock brookl