#214: Come See The Hot Naked Guy

is that where they go? It's a homophone. It's a WHOA who's a homophone heroes everything. It's h E A R O s here like here, like listen, okay, and homophone. Let's remind everybody are two words that are sound the same but mean different things. It's almost like a play on words, a pun if you will, because I have heroes from my ex girlfriend from two thousand six still sitting in my medicine cabinet because I was the loudest motherfucking snore on the pace of the planet. So I

still have a package of heroes. So I'm gonna get those in time for the rant that's about to happen later speaking of needing um ear plugs. I ranted about this on my Walkers and Talkers podcast last week. There was an episode of Walkers from two weeks ago where the guy who uh, there's a new a new actor on the show. He's only on one episode and he's deaf. And at one point the bad guy hands the Milwaukee talkie and says, call us if you see the girl.

The guy's deaf, so you handed him Milwaukee talking Even if he could talk into it, he won't know if you heard it. He won't know what. Okay. But then to stop them, so he listens to music really really loudly, like he blasts it in his house because he can feel the vibration even though he can't hear it, he can feel the house vibrating right, feel the vibration. So at one point the bank marky Mark, thank you Marky Mark. At one point, the bad guy Arno is outside the

house and he's blasting. To say, he blasts the stereo. When the guy opens the door and he covers his ears like, ah my ears, not believable. Arno is like a heavy metal dude with like animal skins. Okay. Then later in the episode he comes back to the house to get into uh so he runs into the room and locks himself in a room the good guy with that with bagpipes that he had bought for his dead wife. And when Arno tries to get into the living room with the bedroom whatever it is, the guy inside the

room starts playing the bagpipes. They're not special bagpipes, scary, they're regular bagpipes, right, not bagpipes a lot. But you know we've been in rooms with like six police officers playing bagpipes in the studio. It's not deafening. The guy starts playing the bagpipes and they are no again. The guy outside the bedroom door grabs his ears. Terrible writing. Can you imagine bag pipes through a door? Make you cover your ears and screen? No, no, no, no, I

will not be louder than the bagpipes. Well, I may be loud right now because you fit to be tied. Now you know what this is, because it's unfortunate because on the big show we're broadcasting. See, I would say that podcasting is narrowcasting because we could we could elaborate and expand on things for minutes at a time, like like we do and we are no stranger to that. But on a big show, when you're broadcasting, you have to reach many people and it's it's a live show.

Remember you may listen on demand, but it's intended to be live, and it's in real time. It's happening as people are on their way to work or where they're going. So we have to compound all of our senstances and structure and everything. It's a small short person while also remembering unlike the Brooklyn Boys where you're were you guys listening, You all agree with us most of the time, which is why you listen, right, We're very opinionated and you and I would say eight five nine cent a time

you agree with us. Every once in a while you'll go, hey, gotta disagree with Scary on that, or hey, I gotta disagree with Scary on that. But the reason why they listen is because they are fans and they we all have the same ideas to the Elvis Durand Morning Show. There's many people. There's three or four main people in total, like twelve plus. We're all over the country. We're in different markets, small, small towns, big cities, and no one's

going to agree on everything. But but furthermore, in a broadcast situation, you have about maybe ten twenty thirty seconds tops to get your point across, and a lot of times because it's bite sized, I'm gonna call it fun sized, like mini like you know, like the mini Three Musketeers. You gotta get hit it and get you gotta hit it and get it right, and you get You can't David Brody the story and tell you what color of the table clothes you do well, you can't dwell. So

and I was by the door. It was one of those old doors with broken hinges. You know what I'm talking around We all do our around the rooms in the morning, which you were limited to thirty seconds us. But so am I around the room today. I just wished my girlfriend Robin a happy birthday, by the way, I love you, happy birthday. But yeah, we wanted to go to this great restaurant which I thought was a great restaurant, but apparently it's now. I'm gonna call it

a great sexy restaurant with shitty attitudes. That would be our rooftop. I'm calling them right out. Our standing for restoration hardware, which you guys know from the Malls is the big heavy furniture company with the store that has a restaurant. Well, says so, so they started this concept where around the country they're opening our H rooftop restaurants now at the top of the hardware store. They sure are.

So you took your your girlfriend who you love to the to to eat on top of a hardware store, Well, you couldn't a reservation at home Depot's restaurant. Okay. First of all, First of all, before you go any further, everybody google r H rooftop that they will and and and look at the pictures and and and look at

all the food. It actually is. What they do is they lease out the idea that they it's owned and operated by the R Restoration here people, but but they bring in food and dev people that are chefs and everything like that. And by the way, their openings all these all around the country. There's one in Miami. There's one want to like a shrimp fra diavolo with a

wicker chair that comes with it, right exactly. It's actually a really sexy place and a lot of people want to go to them, and they're all over by the way, they're they're in Houston, they're all over all through the hard work store and go off like a spiral staircase. You Usually then they take a ladder from the hardward on the outside. Usually it's a glass elevator. You go into the lobby of the store. They try and get you right there to buy some ship like Disney. Right, let'sen,

we're not talking about Ikea. We're talking about the very spencive and fancy or restoration hardware. I would expect no less from you. Go so okay, So, and how would your father talk about restoration hardware? Oh, my father, forget it. He'd be like today, I don't have to spend two thousand dollars on on a love seat. I don't love a seat like that. I'm not paying two thousand dollars

for the seat. The rh rooftop usually features. They feature our restoration hardware furniture in the restaurants, of course, and it's really beautiful. It's a white couch for that. That's not true, not true at all. Again, google the fucking pictures. I'm not going into it that way doing it so so now, because these are up the second franchise or

its chain, it's all over the country. It's okay, there's one in New York City, specifically in the in the area of the meatpacking District, which we know is if fancy, lower West side of Manhattan. Yeah, anyways, the Restoration Hardware there is their anchor store, their flagship of the area. And sure enough they built an rh rooftop restaurant. I think it was the first of its kind, and then they started building them out around the country. Right. So

it's a hard reservation. Okay, So we were told, hey, it's a hardware reservation. It's a hard way, it really is. We were told you the maximum amount of people that you can you can go, you can do the reservation for is six. It's a table of six, no more, because I don't know booths and things like that. Now the squares and rounds whatever they do, twos and fours and sixes. But you're not getting a table more than six.

And I respect that Robin wants to do. But Robin wants to bring twelve people out for dinner on Tomorrow night. So what do we do. I make a reservation is a month ago. I make a reservation on an open table for PM for six people. She makes a reservation for six people at PM and now as the date gets closer, but not on the night of when we will be scrambling when we get there. I'm assuming you requested the two reservations be near each other. That was

this this past Monday. I call up in the afternoon before their dinner rush started, and I spoke to the hostess on duty and I said, hey, I pled my case. I said, look, I get it. I don't want you to move furniture around because I know you can't put more than six people at a table. However, we respect that. But we have two existing reservations for the same time on the same night, for six people apiece. Can we get Can we put the two tape? Can we be

close by each other? Can you do an adjacent cy or Now, Brodie, if you were planning the dining room for Saturday, April nine, and you were part of that crew, and you know that you had a special request put in the monday before because it was a special birthday celebration, which I told them, by the way, did not use the Scary Jones flex or Elvis Durant. I was Anthony Scary, the fucking common man customer. Okay, people, maybe I should have.

This is how you get treated everyone, if you're if you're everyday person, Okay, this is how you get treated. And this is why I'm pissed because I didn't want to use my name because that would have been besides the point. I want to say how they treat everybody, and this is how they treat everybody. Joe Joe Joe public. They said, oh, I'm sorry, we can't make an accommodation for having, um, you guys even close UoT, we can't guarantee that you'll even be on the same side of

the restaurant. In fact, in fact, more often than not, reservations like this split up into two parties are nowhere near each other in the restaurant at all. And I said,

so let me get this straight. If you're planning the floor for that Saturday as a hostess or a manager, a floor manager, and you have the diagrams in your freaking computer, I said, why can't you you know, maybe the two tables of six that started put the two tables at six of six people at six pm, and then when you do the flip over, we'll we'll be next to each other, we'll be near each other, will be nearby. No, we can't do that. They In fact, she took such exception to it. She wanted to know

who told me that it was okay. She was gonna do her own investigative like reports back to her bosses because she was so upset that somebody would have even suggested this to me. And I said, well, I'm not here to get anybody in trouble or who suggested it or not. I said, we made two legitimate reservations on open table. Well, we're sorry, sir, we cannot We can't help you. So that's the full story. I didn't want that. Let's be clear. I don't want them to move furniture around. Okay,

this was not about moving chairs and tables. Don't give me that. Don't give me that. I know people are thinking that I work in the restaurant industry and Scari is being a difficult pastord. No I'm not. All I'm asking me to do is just think a little on and not be so fucking lazy that you can't figure away to make two parties of six near each other. At That's all I'm asking. And all I would do is require you to when you do your layout for

the day of tables have it coincide. It doesn't matter if I'm gonna sit, you know, it doesn't matter if one people gets you know, get seated at you know, forty five and the other guy gets it at nine o'clock and we have to wait. I get that. I get that. But you can get it close enough. It's not rocket science. But they couldn't be bothered because they they're and and this woman was going in on me

and telling me I was doing the wrong thing. So fuck you Restoration Hardware, RH Rooftop, you know, the restaurant, and we took our business elsewhere. Now. People on the text messages when I mentioned this in the around the room today took exception to this because I only had twenty seconds to explain myself and they're saying that I'm being in considerate. They called me. One person called me

a Karen, you know. But the truth of the matter is if you're in the services industry and you're in the hospitality, you're supposed to be hospitable to the customer. This goes back to the very beginning Broody. What we speak about about being it's it's reciprocal. Obviously, you want to be a good customer, But it's also about how great is your place? Are you going to make some accommodations to try and make people as comfortable as possible?

And this place chose the the other road on to as to not to do that, which means that they don't give a fuck about people? Am I out of line? Um? All right, so I'm gonna I'm gonna play devil's advocate because that's my role here. Obvious. I I completely understand the frustration. I would be completely frustrated beyond belief, but I saw let me. Let me run through my questions unless I missed it. Did you ask to speak to a manager who could either override and and okay? The

manager said no chance either? The manager, Uh, there was not around. There was no manager to talk to. I spoke to right, But you just speak to a manager. So I would have followed up with a manager. What time would be a good time to call the manager call? So far, you're you're not disagreeing with the fact that I'm not I'm not asking for something that's completely like a Karen move, right, Am I? Or am I? Well? First of all, I think part part of the fault

lies in your girlfriend. She should have six friends too many people. She's popular. Yeah, well, I know, but you're throwing the party. You should you should, you should have made and we made legitimate reservations through the open table app a month ago. So we were the first one in the ones in. We technically if you're seating, if you're doing the seating charts, you you know we were the We were like right next to each other. We we we literally put it in at the same time.

So shouldn't they love me? And and they don't? You know? Again? Okay, So I don't know how the layout of the restaurant is. It's they sit two people at a time. Okay, okay again, Okay again. I don't know if there's columns in the middle of the floor. I don't know the layout of the floor. I don't know the floor plan. Here's what I do know. I'm a family of five. Right when we would go to like p F. Chang's, I'd have to hold out for the corner the round corner booth.

Otherwise you have to sit at a table for four and jam it in, or wait for two tables near each other to push them together at a table for eight and then sit there and again, I'm not asking them to push anything together in this case. All we wanted and they might have tables for six, in other words, round tables, right, But they only may have one round table in one corner of the place around table in the other corner. They may not have tabletops for six

anywhere near each other. So it would involve them lifting the table, moving tables. We don't want that. I never asked for that. So you could go six, four and four whatever. No, I've seen the layout of the restaurant. It's all square tables, and it's all booths, booths and square tables. Two's fours and sixes and then but in order to in order to put the two you want to give you a table for six, they gotta make a table of eight. It doesn't matter the two the

banquets are butted up against each other. The two bank at that this this bankaets in a row that all accommodates six. And you have to take my word for it that the fact is that that there is no weird, oblong weirdness of the of the It's a traditional rectangular layout with squares and rectangular tables and they and banquettes and boots and and individual tables and but tables, but tables in rows and things, whatever it is. It's completely doable.

But my problem lies with the fact that she was so lazy that she didn't want to make that She didn't want to, you know, turn a negative to a positive, or she didn't want to actually help in any kind of way. She's like just dismissive, flippant. She was flipping on the fire like that flipp It is never good. The only thing I would say is I don't know if it's lazy, or maybe she was told the rules we can't guarantee and she doesn't know how to make exceptions.

She's so rigid in her training. She only knows, well, we're not allowed to do that, we can't do that, or I've never seen that done before. So I'm gonna tell you what I know. She should have said, I'll have my manage to call you because you're gonna spend three thousand dollars on dinner. I probably should have the manager call you. I would think that's important enough that

she should have somebody get back to you, she should say. Instead. Instead, she started airing their own dirty laundry within the company, and she wanted to go on a witch hunt to see who which employee. She was literally gonna wrap someone out in her own organization. I said, I'm not giving you names. What did you want to write out? What was? Because I told her that we called, which we did earlier in advance, and they said, hey, the way to do this is to do two sixes because people call

with parties. No, that's the truth. Truth. You know, we called in the daytime before we made our reservations, and and then we made the reservation. We ended up making them online. But she she's, I need to know the name. She's what phone number did your girlfriend call from on that day? I said, whoa, whoa? She called while she was at work and it was just a tip from one of the people here. I'm not getting anyone in trouble. But she was like, well, we've had this happened before.

And then she started telling me it was storytelling time where she's like, one time we had a bunch of moms come in with a bunch of fourteen year rolls and they did this very same thing and we couldn't seat them together, so and then they were crowding around the table, standing up talking to each other and it became disruptive. And I get that it's disruptive to your dinner service. You want to have run an efficient dining room.

But man, oh man, to just start with the no and just now digging is is just all the wrong. She she did everything wrong with me on the phone after I called by the way on a Monday for the Saturday coming up, telling her I already have this existing reservation for a month. Now here we are the week of I'm coming in Saturday. I don't want to hit you with this. When I get there Saturday night, I say, fuck that. I said, that is all kinds of awful. And I don't you know me, I don't

complain about shit, you know me. I'll take a lot. I take a lot of I have a very long rope when it comes to this stuff. But whatever, dude, I'm good. We're not going there. We're doing our own thing. Um and and and and and that's all I have to say about that. But the people that were against me only heard, they only have half the story, and all making assumptions about everything else, and and that got me angry. I'm not gonna lie. I got pissed because we really didn't dwell on it on the air, and

we couldn't because we do a broadcast. But here we can go. I can give you my full explanation as I just did, and I think I could come up for air right now. I think you I hearing the story. Uh, they couldn't. Look if a manager told you they couldn't do it, I would say, yeah, the manager's not making the effort, because I would hope the manager would explain why.

Here's why right because we have to split the split the weight staff up because I'd have to put one way or a waitress from another part of the problems. Say you used to work in the dining rooms like this, and you used to draw the lines before they were computers, had yet a read a red grease pencil and you okay, So so explain to me. Aside from the the we don't put parties. You don't normally put two large parties

for one way or away tress. So I'll just say server, you would give one party six to one server, one part of server. But if you put if you put them together, but if you put them together in a corner. Now you're asking a server who might be working in the middle of the room to come over into the corner. They keep making a trip back to the corner. It's a little trickier, but it could have been worked out. I would like to store, you think, by the way you think it in a hardware store. They'd be able

to fix the problem. You see what I'm saying there, Fix the fuck you and your booge restaurant. I wouldn't have gone there in the first place. And do you feel better now? That felt good? I got that off my chest. Yeah. Boy, you complain at restaurants, so I don't know. Yeah, because you know me, all right. Just just to balance this out, I've got two relatively brief restaurant stories compared to your story, and I feel like I feel like you should have me call the restaurant.

It's too late now, but I you should call, or I should call and and get the reservation, take care of it for next time, or an apolo. All right, So tell me what you do in this situation. There's a brewery not far from our house. It's not really a brewery. It's more like a theme restaurant, but brewery is in the title. They have a very nice menu. It's a little more upscale than than Friday's or or

hula hands. I'll get tool hands in a minute. In large, it's a little a little more upscale, a little schmidge, a smidge and a pinch. So the last time I was there, the last two times, I had French onion soup. Yeah, So I go my, uh my buddy, Jeff. I had got my cousin previously. I went with Jeff and we sit down and we're like, you know, I'm gonna get on your soup again. So I'm looking on the menu.

I can't find onion soup. Now it's gotten that one of these Like it's like a book menu, you know, it's like three or four pages spiral like no, no, no, it's it's like a wine list book. It's a cardboard, you know, it's it's a real book. So it's multiple pace. I'm going looking, looking, looking, it's not on the soup. I can't find it. So I say to the waiter. I said, hey, um, I really wanted the French onion soup, right, So I he goes, well, we could probably make that

for you. I said, why is it off the menu? And they wanted to make room for other stuff, and uh, it wasn't that popular, so we don't have it on the menu anymore. It's not popular. French onion soup not popular right at this place. I guess, look, the kid doesn't know what he's talking about. Whatever. So then I was like, can I get a table for twelve? He's like, sure, no problem, of course, of course. So I said, well, how can you make the French onion soup if you

don't make it anymore? And I went, hold on a second, don't even tell me. Are you going to use the org you from the French dip sandwich and throw some provol on on top. He's like, yeah, that's what we do. That's a short cut, and that's not so as I said, so you're telling me, so how do you get He goes, we just chop up some onions to throw it. You know, we throw a man saw tama. It already sounds like a fail. It sounds horrible. Yeah, they were taking short

taking shortcuts. So you're giving me or you or grotten basically, he says. So he doesn't know what He's like, what I got done? And forget it? Just French kid. He wants to serve me dipping juice with cheese as my French onion soup that is not French. That is not French onion soup. You look, people look up the recipe. There's a lot more to it. And granted the soup is usually water and a bullion cube. But you you're going to places with laminated menus first of all, so

that's your first It wasn't laminated. They were not laminated menus. Yeah, that's right. Another bougie comment from Scary. Yeah, it wouldn't go to roost with laminated You know what, I like a laminated so you can wipe it down so when you spill the guawk on it, right, you can wipe it up. All you can eat chips and salsa gets on the menu every time. All right, whatever, All right, listen, I'm okay, well listen, by the way, and anybody who says I'm okay, I get it. But this is what

I do. This is what I like to do with my my spending money. So some people buy electronics, some people buy clothing. I like to spend my money. You bought a hundred dollar tie dyed shirt. We've talked about that. You spend money on clothing. Also, come on now, all right, you know why, because I don't have white kids. That's Uncle brook An industrial. This is what this is. I spend my income the way I want. I want uber rides,

and I don't want to eat off laminated menus. For the most part, actually eat off of the lemoned menu. I wipe off the laminated menu. You know what I'm saying though the time of the place. But I'm saying, what do you expect? You just complained about getting dipping juice and cheese. But what do you expect from a place? I mean, you get what you pay for. It's an a scale theme restaurant. They should at least make onion soup, right, I'm not asking for baked Alaska. I'm not asking for

Porterhouse with a lobster crab mac and cheese. All Right, I get it, you know, come on, It's okay. So then, so I was in Jula Hands. So now you guys, remember many many years ago at this point I told you this story about Jula Hands funked up my nachos right at twice. In one of our early episodes, they put scallions on top. They made it wrong multiple times while I was waiting, and the general manage you who runs the region. The regional manager gave me four five

dollar gift credits. They looked like checks. Their paper written and I write twenty five dollars each, A hundred dollars. Hub h. This was twenty seventeen. I guess right, we're not not well. Podcast started. It was not around that time. So they expired twenty eighteen, but I didn't know because I didn't look. Because who looks you funked up my owner. I'm not gonna why would you expire them? So I went to spend them, and I called the guy and he's like, hey, is I think his name is Mark.

He says, no problem, they don't really expire. We have to put a date on it. But don't worry about it, he said, just gonna mention my name if there's a problem. Said okay. So I spent twenty five dollars one night and I got nachos again and uh something from my kid, and that was it. Okay, So I have seventy five dollars left. I haven't been to a hold of hands in a long time, because there were three in my area.

Two of them closed, got one left. So I said to my friend Jeff, I said, Jeff, why don't we go to Hold of Hands my treat I got how many five dollars from five years ago? It burning a hole in my pocket. Let's go. He says, yeah, all right, yeah, alright, no problem, you're you're treating. Yeah, okay, good, good deal. So we get to the who lands and there's no

one at the host to stand. A waitress comes by and she goes behind the host to stand, grabs some laminated menu as you prick, and doesn't look up and say, they'll be somebody with there'll be somebody with you in a minute. She just looks at us and goes and walks away, like I'm not the hostess. I'm much better than her. I'm the waitress. So she walked away. So we're there like three or four minutes. We're not upset, but we're waiting. Is nobody there? And then Elvira comes

up to the front desk. If you don't know who el Vira is, google her. She's the Mistress of Horror. She she has like black she looks like she looks like she was in a heavy metal video from and she's got like double d's uh and and some crazy cleavage. Yeah, but in this in this particular case, I didn't notice, but she had the black, stringy hair with streaks of gray, and she had that look like she was Igor Frankenstein's assistant. Dr Frankenstein's assistant. So she was like, how many many table?

I said, to please, okay, right this way, no personality whatever, not sorry to keep you waiting, whatever. So we sit down at a table near the bar and uh at a roll familiar place, Thank you, Billie, Joel, and the TV sets are all on the wall across from me, and the met game is on. It's a doubleheader and it's the ninth inning of the end of the game. The first game waitress comes over. She says, I can help you. Yeah, I said, uh, their place in order,

but it says here, I have these gift cards. It says, please present at the beginning of your order. So I showed the gift count. These are expired and I can only take one per meal said no, no, no, you can take all of them. I know what the rules are here. Sorry, I can't take more than one. I said, there there, Okay. I was given these because you guys messed up my order, and they're there. Thank yous to me. Their apology notes. She's, well, they're pons. Nope, they're not coupons.

Their great gift credits, gift certificates, right, their credits because of it was something that was made right from something that was went horribly wrong. Okay, all right. And I said, here's the letter from the regional manager Mark, and uh, I love how I had it in the same envelope. I said, And and if you have any questions, you can call him. He'll confirm that they don't expire. Mark still works there. Well, hold on. So so she says, oh,

I'm not a problem. I'll accept those. That's great, not a problem. Okay, great. So I'm figuring to myself the two of us have to eat seventy five dollars worth of food and hula hands. So I get myself a fancy chocolate swirl caluor drink to the wall. We get a couple appetizers. I get my nachos, Jeff gets a big order or whatever. Okay, we're we're living large on my seventy five dollars worth the credit. And so she brings the drinks. I get a diet coke no ice,

thank you. And Jeff always gets an Honold Palmer, which, if you don't know, is half I s tlf lemonade yea. So she takes the order and that was the last time we spoke to her until she came back. Because your food will be up. Momentarily, I said, you know what, I said, The Met game is on. I'm with my friend where I said, we have gift credits. Life is good. And so as as she's talking to me, um, the

Mets score of the winning run. In the background, they scored the winning run, and she says, oh, you're a Mets fan. That's too bad. They stink, by the way, not knowing that they're fourteen and six as of so I said, I said, excuse me, um uh, Eileen. Uh, it wasn't Eileen. It was with Allen. Allen has excuse me Allen. Uh. First of all, the Mets have the best record baseball. Second of all, I said, just jokingly, by the way, you work on tips, right, she's yeah,

I go, so shouldn't you be nice to my baseball team? Oh? Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I was just I like to have fun with people. No, no problem, no problem. No. Um, if you turn around you'll see that. Um. Uh Linde or just had a game winning hit. They're celebrating on the field. They want again. Okay, So so somebody else runs the food. No problems with the food. Then we have no drinks. So the manager, kitchen manager comes out. He says, how

is everything? Uh good? Good? I said, while you're here, Um, I finished my soda like fifteen minutes ago, when I don't want to start my nachos um because I don't have any soda where. I haven't seen Ellen in like in twenty minutes. Oh, no problem, get you sodas. Okay. So he gets the sodas he leaves, comes back. I see him later, I'll tell you why. So then I I said, um, oh, I'd asked extra salsa to the kid, to the kid who brought my food. So he goes

and gets it again. I don't see Ellen. Then eventually Ellen kind of walks by in the background, already headed in a bad direction. I don't see Ellen. Finally, uh Ellen comes by to drop the check. She didn't run the food, she didn't bring us more drinks. She was d O A sorry m I A the whole time. So I give I give her the three gift cards seventy five dollars, well, whatever it is, because the bill

was like, uh it was sixty and change. And so she goes and she comes back and she says, I can't make change, so I can only take two of them. You have to pay the fifteen dollars whatever it is over. I can't give you change back for the gift card. So I said, well, can't you just use it to buy a gift card? No, it's okay. So I take my back and she goes to ring it up. The kitchen manager comes back out, hey, these are expired. Of

course we already know that. We went through that with Ellen. Yeah, with Ellen, I already ye already went through that, showed uh yeah the letter yea, so so I so I said, um, I already spoke to Ellen and I had his the letter. I have the business card from Mark, and he said, let me see that because huh you know, yeah, Mark left the company about a year and a half ago. Of course he did, yeah, so I said, but I

didn't know that. But not only that though, but the letter still stands because at the time he was representing the orsation. That's something change the Alba Well, I don't know if the guy who replaced Mark's going to accept these when we send him to corporate. Doesn't matter. The decision was made back then, and it's not in the jurisdiction of the person from Mark, right, So I said

to God. So I say to the guy, will listen, take the letter and submit it with these as proof that I He's like, I don't know if I can do that. I said, you can do that. I used to run theme restaurants. You can do that. And he says, um. He says, well, uh, you know, I'm not sure I can take these. I said, let me tell you something. I don't drink, but I ordered that Calue with chocolate swirl drink because I knew I wasn't paying for dinner tonight.

So if you want me to pay up my credit card, then you can take off the two appetizers I wouldn't have ordered and the drink that I only ordered because I was eating for free. If you want to do that, I'll pay with my credit card. Now this is a Jedi mind trick. You really confused the man. So so he so he says no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, of course no, no. I'll accept him this one time. This one time, like he got a wallet full of him, right, So I said, well, you're giving me one back, I

have that one. He says, all right, you ask for me, and I'll accept that last one. I said, that's fair, that's fair, and so it taken care of. I got taken care of. The point was Ellen was was horrible, no better than Elvira. But by the way, Elvira the hostess. So they put up glass panels on top of the booths to like make them higher, like you know, like glass walls, I guess during COVID. So I see her

reflection behind me. She was staring at us because we went for lunch and there was like nobody in the restaurant again, which I don't know where Ellen was an all time. She wasn't taking everybody else. So I could see her. It was like it was like a horror movie. And I kept going, why was she staring at you?

I don't know. She wasn't watching the basebook. No, I don't know what she was doing, but she was, like you know said when we left, she looked up, but she didn't like you know that the hostess, And they go, thank you for coming. Hold hands, have a nice day. She kind of looked at w Oh my god, who al Yeah, not as bad as your situation. But I

almost had, I said the awful onion soup. And then I even so I said to I said to the manager, said, you know what the irony is is that I got these seventy five dollar gift cards because I had a really bad experience at hold Hands, and so to make up for it, you're giving me a really hard time at my experience to spend these at Whole Hands. So that's when he's like, no, I guess you. I gotta

get your point. I get your point. So fuck you Ellen. Uh. I didn't get the kitchen manager's name, but fuck him, and fuck you Mark for quitting the company when you knew I might need you someday. We will be back, man. Our voicemail is filling up. The F you Abe seventy seven Google voice line is going ballistic. We've we haven't checked it in three to four weeks now. And in case you didn't know, you can actually call us at

two one eight F you Abe seventy seven. You have all it out, Yes, that's that's two three A to seven. Leave us a voicemail. We may play it back. Now we have a brand new feature that's kind of competing with it, but also kind of cool as well, and that is the talkback feature. If you listen to our podcast on I Heart Radio, well that's it. This is should be incentive. There's a little microphone button that has now appeared. We are one of the test podcasts for this.

If you listen to the Brooken Voice podcast, is a little microphone that's just talk back. Now. You can press and hold that button, I believe you can hold it down and you can hit it talk back to us, and you can leave a message right there and it will go into a folder and we will pick that almost like a voice note and uh we'll be playing those on future broadcast to podcast. So now you've got two ways in addition to the old school ways of emailing or d m NG. Now you can leave us

your voice. But the voice quality is souper for cool and super high on these little voice notes on the talkback feature. So so if you see the microphone on our prerecorded podcast and you feel like in the moment right then and there, as we're on to a point, you can hold that button and like, let us know what you're thinking what's on your mind? And we'll play him back, hopefully on a future podcast. But right now, with that other thing, which is the phone line, we

have all these voicemail stacked up. Should we get into some of that or what Brodie, Let's play Let's play some of them here. And as we do that, I just get another fucking alert that another famous person has COVID. Okay, I want to explain something here that this is an opinion and of mine and I'm really piste off about nobody gives a fuck about about famous people with COVID anymore. If it's they're suffering the same symptoms that we all went through. If if you're having a cold and it's mild,

I don't care, and you don't care. Don't junk up my phone with these alerts. Now, I get it, somebody. I'm not gonna I'm no, I'm not going to say it's not important, but I'm just saying that we've we've all experienced this now and they've made headline stories over

people over the over the last few months. I get it in the beginning, when the first few people have I get it because not a vaccine, but it's different hold, it's in a different phase now, it's mainly on the crown whatever the b A two and these people basically have colds, so you're basically reporting. You stop spending too much time on this, just telling just let me ask you a ques, I'm not telling you who it was. It doesn't matter. I'm not gonna ask you who it was.

I would say that it's interesting to know if if it's a very old person or someone who might be immunocompromise correct, or an important person like the vice president or you know, maybe let's say someone on the Mets, maybe the vice Hold on, no, that's what I'm talking about. I'll tell you why. Because basically, if you're especially if you're a gambler or a fan, Baseball players miss games. Yes, so it's important to know when an athlete has COVID

because they go through the protocols. But if let's say, let's say, um, let's say Johnny Depp gets COVID. I want to know that because he's on a trial right now. But if you know, if it's just I don't care. That's what I'm saying. They report and these news services and they're all guilty of it. Sending alerts to your phone because a random actor or actress has mild symptoms of the same thing. We all went around the holidays like,

who cares about that? Unless it's in As Brody said, all right, those people get I get it, I get Breme Court Justice, the biggies understood. But even then it's like, ok okay, senator, yes, a congress person, no, it's it's still I don't know. I'm still wishy washy on those. Well, you know, when Stephen Colbert got COVID, I cared because he's out for a week. I didn't know. That's exactly what I needed to know why it wasn't on. So

that's important. But it doesn't have to be a headline he if he has if he has the sniffles, nobody gives a fun no, no, no, okay if it's Tom Hanks and it doesn't affect my TV viewing. I love Tom Hanks. But okay, good for Tom Hanks. But but Tom Hanks got it because he was one of the first celebrities to I only came up with Tom Hanks's name and my I could have said anybody, Okay. All

I'm saying is it's Stephen Colbert. I want to know because I'm a fan, but also I don't have a show to watch last week he was off all last week. Then it affects it affects my daily existence. So that was why it was important. Alright, who was it? I'm not even telling you? All right? So before we get to all the voicemails from the f you Ape seventies seven hot line, let's uh take a little listen to the first talkback of all time for the Brooklyn Boys podcast.

Not the greatest, but the first. But it's still the first. Okay, still the first, but still cool. Yeah yeah, Test test one two three sending a test talk back to the Brooklyn Boys podcast, Little Perry, would you like to try? You got something to say a back? Yep, she's clearly irritated because of Brodie's rant. It's gonna be she's gonna be upset by your rants. This time you yelled more night. I know I did, and I do have a soft throat because of it. And that's I have a gift.

I can yell another have a soft throat. That person right there, thank you so much. That was the very first talk back. If you click on the microphone while you're listening to the Brook and Boys podcast on I Heart Radio only and your up to your app is updated, Yes, then you can you can leave us talk back just like that. All right, Now onto the ABE seventy seven's of the world. This is the This is the first one I want to play. Is probably the best one

I want to play. All right, Brodie, I don't know. Uh, we have a celebrity. A celebrity has dialed to one eight few age seventy seven. Who is is it? Greg T No, No, it's not not Greg. Take a bona fide celebrity. Hey, guys, rocky music journalist. That gend So some like fans that you've got tribute to me and your show. So I wanted to call in, give a proper and horn and thank you. Normally I only listened to reruns of my own shows or into this, but I'd like to give back to the radio community. So

I'm starting to from episode one. Can't wait to hear my shout out. Guys, Katie of the House, I really thought it was her. That was such a damn good impression of Katy blabs. You're right, Oh my god, that's hilarious, showing this is the Incubus Own show. Oh my god, I'm starting from episode one. I can't wait to hear my show. She's great, love heart, brilliant. Whoever that was brilliant? Alright, brilliant.

All right, here's another one. Hey, if this is Verry and Brodie, I just wanted to point out, Brodie, you are so wrong. Said two sheets and you get the third one first free. All right, there you go. That's some feedback. I think we we've misled the audience with

some fancy words. No, no, I see the problems. So I was I'm not gonna say I was wrong, but the wording that we got from from the big boss at the at the shirt company, at the merch merch place, boy, Matt, So the stickers are buy a sheet for three sheets, which I said, right, that's the savings of like around four dollars, or by any two items in the merch store and get one free, a free sheet, a free

sheet of stickers. However, we did we did not mean, and I'll have them change it before you hear this. We didn't mean by two sheets get one free. We meant by any two items like a shirt and a hat, you know whatever, a waterbobe get a free, get a sticker sheet free, so have to We'll have to wait a second. If they buy two, if they buy two orders of sticker sheets, do they get one free? But

that's an item. Scary, Yeah, scary, that's not what he meant though, I know, so we got to clarify, right, We have to clarify that on So it's our fault because here's the thing Matt said to us. You guys want to do a discount on three sheets or do a buy two items, got one free? Right, We'll like, well, let's give them both. Let's do both promotions for slices. Let's do both. He's like, okay, great, but we didn't think of the overlap, so we'll fix the over Checking

in right here by scary scary Rody. This is Chris Travers, just checking in, uh scarious. I told you last week the privilege get to see you in Harold Square with my wife. We had a great time meeting with you. We'll talking to you, Rody specifically, I wanted to tell

you something. I know this is gonna hurt your heart as much as it hurts your brain, but I wanted to bring up the fact that every time I go to a door, convenient store, grocery store, if the dollar amount is, say, fifteen dollars and thirty cents, I'll wait, you know, I'll give them sixteen dollars. I'll wait for the extra change. But if it's over fifty cents, say it was fifteen dollars and fifty two cents, I'll tell him to keep the change in the chore. I can't

be bothered with change jingling around in my pocket. I have enough ship in my pockets as it is. I just, I just, I just don't want to be bothered with I don't care, I don't want to be bothered with it. So I know there's something you very much what happened there, But I want to know from the rest of the slices if it's you, ten dollars are nine dollars and fifty five cents and you give it a ten the weight for for the change, or you can say fuck it,

keep the change, move on to the next person. Or do you want to be bothered with that change anyway? Keep it going voice Plase of life. Yeah, they have no no, no, okay, this is one of your disciples. Your boogie bassars would throw money away. My got my disciples, my slices, they get free dessert, they get shipped for free. Your your disciples, the Scary Jones cult. You guys throw money around so I have. First of all, we just no, no, no,

we're just not petty like you are. If something comes to and you give him a ten dollar bill, I'm walking away? Who care? Nine fifty five? First of all, what's in his pockets? That's making so much noise? He can't fit coins in? What the house in his pockets? Second of all, how long does it take to wait for change? What does he go to one of those stores that mince coins freshly? Like I'm gonna hold on, I'm gonna push out some some quarters, some quarters, hold on?

How long does it take they gave me the change? Here's cents boom a quarter? Two times done? How long does that take? You can't wait plus plus If you don't take the change the next time, it's you don't have forty five cents. Now you're getting back at a vault. You gotta have changed to keep from getting change. Now you gave away the fifth cents, Now you're getting back fifty five cents. You're gonna walk away? From that. Now you're on the head hurts. My head hurts. It's change,

it's change. Listen. So he said it's nine fifty one, he walks away, but if it's five, he'll wait. So yes, because two quarters mean something to me. I'm with him on this. Hold on, so six cents difference. He's throwing the forty nine cents away, but for six cents less, for forty five cents, he'll wait for the He'll wait for his change. Back. Listen, I'm gonna compromise. I'll wait for a quarter, but anything less than a quarter. If it's nine seventy six, I ain't waiting for Nickela diamonds

and pennies. Not when I whip out. That's when I whip out my penny. Oh I got my quarter ball? You are you? You're the worst, Well, I'm the best, Hey, brilliant scary. It's from on Island. I was just hatching up, um and I was listening to the episodes nine and That's en, Um, when you guys were talking about the car gaining broken into I was waiting for Brody to go on a rant about how if the woman's car was stolen, how would she know whether the window was broken,

or whether the door was jimmied or whatever. If it's stolen, it's done. How would you know? And I was waiting for that lant and it never happened, So that was very fanatic for me. Okay, all right, I'll respond to that. First of all, I appreciate that you want more rants for me, So that's that's points for you, fair enough. A couple of things I will say, because I remember

the story mostly. Number one, if if she has the kind of fob which she left inside of her car, most fobs don't allow you to lock the doors, which means they probably opened the door. Let's say the door was locked. You know how she would know if her window was broken. The glasses on the driveway. Not all the glass goes into the car when you smash a window. Yes, the momentum is inward, but when the guy opens the door,

the glass falls out. That's right, Okay, I play it could be a woman, could have been a woman stole the car. I'm not saying, you know, but the glass can end up on the driveway, and then you know, you're right now, right now, she's going. But she's trying to say, don't make assumptions, right, I mean, I guess no. She's trying to say, I should have yelled. How do you windows broken? The guy took your car, the glass would be there, right, okay, c s I boom boom Okay,

Rod scary it's Jamie a k A monster donut. I want to comment on. Are you talking about sending cash through the mail? Yeah, they don't need an X ray machine to see that there's cash that. They can figure it out on their own. If you send it in like a standard, just regular envelope that she would send a letter in. They can hold it up to the light and see the outline of the cash. They know

it's cash. That's why you should put it in either a paper so it looks like just a regular letter, or they have special envelopes where the inside of the envelope has printing on it so that way, if someone holds it up to the light to see what's in it, all they see is the printing and they can't see what outline of the cash. Valid point except they don't need an ACT ray. Okay, big fam Slice for Life, Life for Life. I know that's hilarious. That's okay, all right,

It's all good anyway. By the way, I did say, and I clearly reiterate in that original episode there that I put that in an envelope with a card. It was a wedding gift, so it was a gift, so I actually shape wouldn't be seen, it would not be No, there's no way that they could have known that there was cash in there. Okay, by the way, thank you monster donat Pants. She wished me if she tweeted at me last week, have a good passover at David Brodie.

May your matzabal suit have no Dylan it speaking of that very much, hold on, I want to for a second and for those of you wished me happy press over, thank you very much. For those of you wished me happy Easter, I appreciate it. That's very nice of you. You want to have a nice Sunday. I just want to remember, mind you, it's not my holiday, and that's not a holiday, Juice Collars. Everyone loves Christmas songs, everybody participates. We don't really celebrate Christmas. It's the birth. It's the

birthday of Christ. So Easter, you know, he rose, they rose? What a really celebrate that? So I appreciate the happy but you know what, um, because it's the same weekend this year turned out to be the same week to Brody, Yeah, you wish me just happy happy holiday or happy pe you know if you want well, you know, like Rabadan is not my holiday, like scared Ramadan is not scary holiday.

I would like him to have a happy time during Ramadan, but he's not gonna sell because that was okay, okay, alright, let's plot through these Speaking of matsa ball, soup and dilla, we have manaham checking in my boy. Originally from hey, Brodian scary machem here fl FLI pash bag, oh ship, where'd that go? Fu up? I'm originally from Brooklyn. From Brooklyn or or doctor from Scary if you don't understand and say yeah, you don't understand you and say yeah

you come from Brooklyn. Um. First of all, no, I agree with Brody because Bill is not a staple. And yes, yes, but you know it's not in everything and it's not covered with everything, and and say I never had um Bill and my massable food sometime it's great, but I never tasted I'm saying it tasted Bill, but not not that I never had so much that I could taste it. That's first of all, taken of all, the bill is not a Jewish could be they have traditional Jewish food,

Jewish star food. No, they are not closure it's not a technically a Jewish restaurant. Could be. They have a lot of traditional Roewish food, but no, they're not a Jewish restaurant already, Unfortunately I can't go there and taste it. I'm compared to see it. Thank you. Can't this be in real time? Why can't we? Good to you? Everything he said was right? All right, I don't disagree with them. They listen, all right, Okay, all right, you do disagree

with them, but you anymore? I got one more and then uh, and then I talked about what you did yesterday. I didn't do ship. Well, we gotta take we gotta take a break. And what's going on? Scary and Brodie over there? Rock can see from the bronx. I love you both. I love Scary more than Brody. Brody hell on, Buddy, enough for the merchandise giving away and I have to promote.

Who cares? What he caused was I know you're a frugal, but I'm sure you can afford say so you want to promote your brands by having people where you're emerged and silly basket, Well, give a couple of ways from phrases I'm gonna kill you, You're not gonna's not gonna put you in the poorhouse. Brody, come on, buddy, that kind of stuff. Like I said, I like you a lot.

You're a funny guy. I hear you're bitching and morning all the time about that kind of crap to cause promoting your brand to come to Jersey and do something that I'm not gonna say because I don't want to be like that. That's a threat. It's ridiculous the way you do that remote remote a couple of shirts, God from bid worst could happen like what you guys do all the other ones and as I don't remember all the fews of those people. Do chow for now, take

can brush your hair. Thank you so much, Rocking Steve, rock hold on, Rocking Steve. Let me tell you something I appreciate. You want us to advertise give away some of some shirts. Okay, he's right there. My problem is Scary gives away the shirts when I'm not there and gets full credit for it. And we went half on the costs, again being a penny bastard. Radio stations give away shirts. You know what they do. They give away thin, white, inexpensive shirts by comparison, and they throw out ten to

the crowd. Okay, we we spend, We spend our own money. We got high quality shirts. We do right what you guys all comment out soft they are like them in most butter colors like butter like. But we got multiple colors, multiple color fonts. We give you different patterns and styles.

We didn't give you this white T shirts. We gave you grays and blacks and blues and reds because they Okay, okay, no, no, no. If you want us to give out white T shirts, that's fine, I get that, But remember the radio stations make millions and give away ten shirts. The equivalent of that would be allus giving away like half a sleeve. So yeah, I disagree, Rocket Steve to your point. I believe in investing in our own brand, and if that means throwing out some shirts here and there and giving

stuff back to the slices, make sure you not. When I'm not there, I will say it's on behalf of both of us. Don't be Matti the same way. You can give away shirts on your time, on your dime and say it's from both of us. But you don't want to do that. See now, with me, I want to let the slices note right now that if I see a sticker from our sticker sheets, or I see you guys hanging out and you're you come up to me and be like scary, I'm a slice for life.

I'm going into my trunk where I got shirts and hoodie's ready to go, and I'll give you a water bottle. I'll give you a hoodie, I'll give you a shirt. That's right, I get all of you, yea. And guess what, no, no, no, yes, because we need, we need to market ourselves and we need to detain in a way for free. Oh my god, honey, we will agree to disagree. I got two kids, I got college loans to slices. Just remember this moment. Who's a man of the people and a man of the slices.

It's me. Right back to every tweet and Instagram d m from Rock and Steve that I give him my time, all right, well look at that, but you don't give him. You give him your time, you don't give him your dime. I move out of Jersey. He's coming after me. You don't give him your dime, give him you time, I give him me. Here's a shirt, Steve, come on, come on now, listen all right, And speaking of our merch store as we take a break here, um, there is there is this new thing we have, the sticker sheets.

Go to Brooklyn Boys dot Big Cartel dot com. That's Brooklyn Boys, that Big Cartel dot com. And I'm gonna put up a picture on my laptop on my Instagram account at David Brody and you can see how awesome the stickers are. And as we told you last week, they peel off, they don't leave a mark. You put them back on, take them off, and there's a brody and scary sticker in there. And if you've got a scary and brody sticker, that's a mistake. Just throw that out.

I fuck you. There's this whole sheet of stickers with other things, with everything on it, all our logos, all our fun stuff, d f s, seven different colors, extra. So all you gotta do is sticks two items, any two items, and you get a free sticker sheet. And that doesn't count for buying two sticker sheets, that's right, any two other items You could also buy sticker sheets and nine nine the savings of about four dollars, So thank you. Go to go to Brooklyn Boys dot big

cartel dot com. By the way, that's already one of it's the third biggest selling item already. Alright, I love it sticks stickers past all right. Do you want to hear the band DJ Live read that I'm gonna recreate or what you did yesterday? I want to hear. I want to hear both of those. But let's let's start with your beef with me. Okay, Well, it's not a beef. I want the slicest to know what happened yesterday. Okay, scary, don't interrupt? Scared Now, I sit at the end of

the hallway right and my soul my chair. By the way, you're the interruptive one, except right there. When do I interrupt? Always you're fellow ship. Okay. So I can see from my desk at work down the hall, past the copier. So as people come down the hall they see me. I'm at the end of the hall. My door to my my office area is at the end of the hall. It's uh anyway, so and my my doors next to

Elvis's door. So Scary comes around the corner walking fast like outside side, like an old person in the mall. He's speed walking and his arms are swinging and he's got the biggest grin on his face like they just brought pizza up to the radio station. And he's he's looking like you know, you had kind of cranes around a corner like you're looking. He's craning his neck, and I know he wants to get Elvis. So I say, Elvis in a meeting, Oh my god, oh my god, Brodie, Brodie,

I see what's up across the street in hotel. There's a hot naked guy, s no shirt, naked everything. He's as clear as day's on the balcony. Okay, you gotta come say it was like, um, his favorite baseball player, more celebrity. So I said, Scary, let me know when his wife comes out on the deck, and I'll call that's exactly it. Because where there's a hot naked guy and hot in shape naked guy, you know probably he was he was in shape. Here's why I said, I'm

selling it. Because when there's a hot, buff naked dude in great shape. You know, he's dating a hot, buff naked girl and she's not too far behind. So we wanted to see how that was gonna unfold. So a bunch of us went up to the went up to the window, waiting to see if his hot naked partner would come out too. So it was the anticipation of it was kind of a prerequisite, a precursor that what

are you trying to say that hold on? Hold on, hold that that I enjoyed staring at man as I'm okay with seeing man ass hold on, first of all, a hot, buff naked guy. The chances are the next person that walks out is gonna be another hot, buff naked How do you do that? Because because he's probably could be gay. Gay men work out, you know, they go to the gym all the time. They that guy.

Now I'm not saying they're on hot straight guys, but you don't know a hot woman's gonna walk He was so far I've gotten off out of my chair, I've walked all the way to the window, and now there's a chance of me seeing two hot naked guys who are who are ripped in shape as you're going it out. I don't want to see that. That doesn't mean I I don't judge if you want to see it. But

you were so happy, bro, are you gonna come see whoa? Okay, listen, that's, by the way, that shows that I'm comfortable in my own skin. Okay, you were throwing dollar bills at the window. I was, I was, I was, listen, I'm comfortable with myself. Yeah, I saw. It doesn't matter. I could see male nudity. I'll take a look. I'll see whatever it is, what it is, it's there, it's out in front of you. Fine.

My point was it was and it was some fun action for that part of the day because no, well, if you think about it, there was nothing really, nothing exciting was going on on that block. But if you look in that window and then hotel windows, there's not a lot to happen, and someone's smoking a cigarette out there. But to see just a guy having a full on

conversation and he was talking to someone. His back was turned so like somebody was somebody was in the distance inside the room that you couldn't see because it was so light out. How jealous were you? I want to see who was talking to because by the way, by the way, you don't think for a second that whoever he was talking to wasn't also naked, right because because who would stand there naked and have a conversation with

a full clothed person. They wouldn't. So you know, the person he was talking to on the other side of the room was absolutely but ass naked. What what you know? What if the other person was the cameraman a woman, He's talking to somebody, so like so like it. We have to be equal. If I'm naked, if I'm naked talking to you, chances are your naked as well. No, you've got that wrong, pal. If you're naked, I'm leaving. That's you and I will never be naked in the

same room. That will never ever happen, never, my god, never. But what you're looking out the window going, oh, I wonder if it's gonna rain. Oh look this traffic by the home tunnel. That's boring. Oh look the sign store is closed early. That's interesting. And you were running to tell Elvis because he's gay. You figured come look at

the hot guys I was doing. So you did not come down the hall to tell anyone about the hot woman that might come out on the deck and the deck you came and tell Elvis about the hot guy, figuring like that would like a Brownie point for you. Elvis, You're gonna be very excited for me, so proud of your boy. Scary. I just saw penis and I'm you know, there's some penis out there. It's the boys, all right. So listen, we have to almost get out of here. So you wanted to bring something up, I know that

on your mind. All right, I gotta take it. I gotta okay. We've been very high, high intensity this entire so, as you know, I drive a Dodge charger. I'm very fond of my Dodge charger. It's the fifth one I've had, at least them. I get a new one every three years because it's too expensive to buy it. From being honest,

and so I know the car well. I drive with my left elbow on the armrest of the driver's door and my right and my left hand on the string wheel and my right hand usually it's like on the center console right, or on the radio, or on the gear shifter. Sometimes I can put my hand on the gear shifter like I have a shift, but I don't

right because it's just comfortable. But my left elbow is always on the armrest, and in three of my five Dodge Chargers, I hear a crack sometimes, like there's a thin layer of plastic under the padding and it cracks, not from like me banging, It just cracks. And then you've got a dip. You dip, We dip, we dip. I dip. Put your hand up, dip. The leather armrest now has a dip where my elbow goes because the plastic cracked. But it's covered under warranty. I've had it

replaced twice before, so I know the routine. I call up, I call up Dodge, my my dealership. I've been buying cause there for since right Jeep, cherokeees, Minivans, Chargers can't wait to steal the endorsement from you. No, I don't have that. They don't advertise. Yeah, okay, yeah, I know you you bested. However, this car, it's part of the story. I did not buy from them because I got it during the pandemic, when there was a car shortage and I had to go to a different dealership forty miles

away to get the car. I wanted what the options I wanted my guy, my dealer, my a guy, give me the car like I have been buying my car from all the time. I didn't buy the car there, but I get my cost service there, which they make a lot of money off of. Even if you do a warranty repair, right, well, you don't pay for it. They charge back to Chrysler. Right, so if they do five worth to work under warranty, they charge Chrysler because they give you the warranty. So the dealership gets their

money back. Right you understand that, of course the dealership isn't honoring the warranty. The company and companies they just submit the coupon. Of course. Of course. So I call up and I get Maggie. Now, Maggie I've never dealt with before, very nice young lady. I tell her the problem. She oh yeah, I said, listen, well, I I know if I can come in if you want, and you can see the door part. I need the driver's side armrest, the leather armrest. It's like a half door armrest. If

you want, I'll come in. Or if you want, why you can order it and this way when you get it in, I'll just come in and and make one trip. She's Oh, that's a good idea. I'll order the part for you. It'll take about a week, I said, fantastic, call me when the parts in. Okay. So she calls me a week later and she departs in let's make an appointment whenever you're ready, Mr brodieus. Okay, Maggie, and I make the appointment for Friday the twenty one, which was last week. And I say, you know what one

thirties good for me? You know, I like take a nap after the show. I'll come around one thirty. How long do you think it will take. Well, it probably take about a half hour, but you know it could get you know, there could be a line. I would allow two to three hours. And said, you know what, there's a movie theater block it two away. I'll just go to the movies. Still done, take your time, beautiful. So I dropped the car for one thirty. I come in, I said to the guy who gets in my car,

I'm getting here for the armrest repair. Yep, I go in. I see, I see Maggie, I said, Maggie, Mr Brodie out, you're here for the driver's armrest. Yes I am, I said, Also, if you do me a favor. My left rear tire has a very slow leak in it. If you could check that out, I'd appreciate it. Oh, no problem, he said. The lung lock is on the in the middle console. So just those two things. Armrest, check the leak. That'd be great. I'm losing a little bit of air. Wonderful.

I go to the movies. I go to see Nicholas Cage in The Unbearable Talent whatever the movie is where he plays himself. I give it a six and a half. It was amusing. It had had moments. I'm not I'm not gonna say run out and see it, but I had moments. So I come back. It's now, I know, close to four thirty by the time the movie started. It two with trailers. Movie started left. I get there about four thirty. They closed at five on Friday. Scary that. So I got there four thirty. I go to my car.

I get in the car to see how everything looks. I get in the car and the armrest is still got a dent at it. I go, what the funk? I'm gone three hours. They didn't fix the armrest. So I go back inside and I say, hey, Maggie, Uh I don't know what's going on here. I'm sorry. While I was in the movie theater, she texted me, hey, your car. I'll be ready soon, but we don't have time to do the oil change because we're closing soon. So I wrote back, what oil change? I didn't ask for?

It will change? Oh okay, then don't worry about it. So I get back and I said, well, i'll change. I didn't order and it all change. Well, we didn't do it. Now, had they done it, they would have charged me for I'll change, which I didn't ask for. So I said, hey, Maggie, the armrest wasn't fixed. What no. I got the work order. It says it was repaired, it was replaced. Come look. I take her out to the car. I show the armrest. It's got a dent

in it. I don't know what could have happened. So I get in the car and and I said, let me sit. Look. Look Look where my dent is. Look and I put my right arm down on the center console. And the center console feels different now. The center console in a charger is a very wide leather armrest. They changed the leather armrest on the storage unit on the center console whoa, they changed the whole thing. They changed, Yeah, they changed the whole big cover, pop up cover. So

I go what what? Um? So sorry, Mr Brownie, we'll get that change. We're not we're closing soon, but we'll change you armress right now. Alright, alright, I'll wait, you know, all right? So we go back in. She says, oh, I'm sorry, we don't have that part in stock. What yeah, Um, they put the wrong part in and they sent the wrong part and they put in the wrong part and we don't have the part. So I just wasted three hours.

You don't have the part? Are you serious? I? So I said, all right, well listen, if we have to reschedule this and I have to give up another three hours, you're gonna have to give me at least two world changes, because that's like I use um synthetic. It's like fifty bucks. You're gonna have to give me a couple oil changes for free. Because I just wasted my time. She says, well, hold on, let me let me get my supervisor and

I'll I'm so sorry, won't wake this right. So I'm pacing at this point, but I didn't raise my voice. I'm just like I have that look on my face like my day is ruined. But I didn't. I didn't yell at Maggie. Right, So now I want you to keep in mind, there's there's the the area where you drive in the sliding doors, and I'm on the other side of the sliding doors where like the five people sitting at podiums with computers that help people, Maggie is one of the five people sitting at a podium with

a computer. So all these people now are watching because there's nobody else there at four thirty on a Friday. They're all just sitting there looking at me. And I'm like, I'm human, but I'm not. Yeah, I'm not mad, I'm not yelling. I'm a regular customer there. So Paul comes out. Paul's an older gentleman, and he says, Mr Browny understands the promise that yeah, Paul, I just wasted uh three hours. My day is ruined. You guys installed the wrong armrest.

He says to me, all right, first of all, stop yelling. Oh my god, So I said, I said, Paul, you know you obviously don't know me. Well, Paul, I said, let me tell you something. I'm from Brooklyn, and if I was yelling, you'd know it. I'm calm. I'm upset, but I'm not yell ling. And I don't think telling me to stop yelling. I said, does that work to you with the women in your life to tell him like relax and calm down, because I'm more upset now he telling me not to yell. And I wasn't yelling.

He says, listen. Uh, it's a it's an honest mistake. No it's not. He says, Look, you said driver's side armrest. That could be either one no no, no, no, no no. Dry. He goes, you're the driver. You put your arm on the console. Also, I said, I said Paul, when I made the appoint where Maggie, I said, driver's door, armrest, driver's side on the door. I was very clear. Nobody

calls the console the driver's side. Both people in the front using O. God, if my car gets hit on the driver's side by another car, it didn't hit me in the center console. It hit me on the door. What are you talking about? He says, Well, you didn't come in and have the car looked at first. You tried to save time, So I said, no, I called Maggie I asked her. Your employee said, I didn't mean to come in. He says, you're a regular customer here.

You know the routine. You come in, have the car inspected. I said, you're saying it's my fault that I asked for the driver's side door to be replaced and you did the center console. I said, well, you have a half hour. Can you put in the arm rest? Oh, we don't have it. What Maggie ordered the wrong part. Oh, Maggie ordered the wrong part, and you put in the wrong part. So you don't even have the right part. So I have to wait two weeks for the part to come in. You want to come in, so, he says.

So he says to me, he says hello, He says, listen, we're both This is a learning experience for both of us, meaning me and him. It's a learning experience for me. He says, yeah. He says, you know you didn't come in. Now you know you gotta come in. I said, hey, listen, Maggie said, I don't gonna come in. I saved time by not coming in. She said, I have to. Oh. He says, ah, so you knew you were saving time. I said, are you trying to play got me like got you with me? Yes, I saved time, but it

wasn't my intention to save time. I just trying to save you guys time. So then he says, God, listen, hey, listen, we both took a loss here. What what are you? No? No? So that he he says, well, I paid for an armrest they don't need now it's in your car. I love how he tried to drag you into the mud with him. Yeah, so I said, wait a minute, what do you mean we both are at a loss here? He he goes, I paid for the armrest, I said, Paul. First of all, you didn't pay for the armrest. The

Dodge dealership paid for the armrest. Second of all, your cost on the armrest is not my cost on the armrest. Third of all, uh, you can take the armrest back if you want. And fourth of all, you're gonna charge Chrysler for the armrest that you installed as a warranty repair. So who are you bullshitting? Don't tell me that you're you suffered. It's not your money, Paul, it's Mr Blahba Blush who owns the bumba ba dealership. Right, it's not your money. And so then he says to me, he says, listen,

you tried to cut corners. I tried to cut corners. What are you talking about. You wasted my whole day. He goes, We don't waste you all day, sir. You've only been here an hour. What I got here four hours ago, and that is my whole day. I was sleeping in the morning and I was working. This is my whole day. I could have spent it with my daughter who gets out early on Fridays, but instead I'm here now I have to come back. So then, so then he says to me, he says, you know what,

he didn't even buy the car here. What what what difference does it make? I didn't buy the car here. I've bought twenty cars here. Now you're gonna hold this again. So you're saying you funked up my dry he says, sw you off the curse. No, I do need to curse now. Now keep in mind, I'm not yelling at I'm not young. I'm yelling now, but I wasn't yelling them, you know what. And I'm looking around, I'm like, I hope nobody's filming me, because you know, everyone films the

person who's causing a scene. So I'm trying hard not to cause a scene. So I'm like, I'm talking through my teeth, but I'm not yelling. I'm like, are you kidding me? Paul? What does it have to do with the fact I bought the call here or not? You have to fix my car properly? Do you want me to call Dodge and tell them that you funked up my car because I didn't buy the car here? Dodge doesn't care. The whole point is you want me to

service the car here? You make more money. Do you know they make more money of service repairs than the actual cars when when yours of co wors that's where they get when you buy the car. They're like, oh here's a free oil. Oh my god, dude, my head hurts. My head hurts right now. And I said, so, what's the outcome here? What is that? Where are we going

with this? So I said, So, I said, I'm gonna go tell my sales guy Joe what you're doing here, because he said, I'm a regular customer for a long Dice, and I've been buying costs you a lot longer than you work here. Paul. And you know what, except for you, I'll probably be buying costs you long after you're gone, because you're not gonna be here much longer. I said, when. And I know I'm exciety asked for the supervisor, the guy runs the whole day. That's uh, Roger. I said,

I'm gonna come back tomorrow and talk to Roger. He's like, listen, let's listen, listen, we're gonna work something out. I said, Yeah, you're gonna give me two oil changes when I come back. You're gonna get credit me for too oil changes. Uh. And you're gonna install my armrest. Here's oh no, no, no, here's what I'll do for you. You're gonna come in and I'll install your armrest for you as fast as possible. That that's not even as not even. So, I said,

that's not that's not even How do you figure? I go? Well, where do I get my four hours back that I wasted today? You gotta give me oil changes for my trouble. That's unheard of. Oh it's not. It's called and there's gonna be a book written about it someday. Right, So, So I said, So, I said, see the I see these guys. They all know me. I said, they know I'm a regular customer. I said, hey, is this the way Roger would run things? And they were all looking like,

don't bring us into it. So then said, then Roger has me goes, come here, let me talk to you. Because now I'm like, I'm setting him up right, I'm I'm I'm I'm shipping fire. So we go out to the area where you pull the cars in. We go through the sliding doors, the doors, and he goes, listen, man, listen, here's what I'm gonna. Here's I go another thing. I go, and you didn't fix my flat either, did you? He says, no, we didn't fix the flat because we we we uh,

we didn't find the flat. I said, I told you when I came in, there's no flat. I said, it's not seated on the rim properly. It needs to be reseated on the rim. I told you. I told Maggie that. Oh she didn't tell us that. So he gets me to say, goes, listen, man, listen, I don't want to be upset. You're obviously upset. Listen between you and me. You come in next time, I'll give you a free oil change. We'll take care of you. All change and I put them. I'm gonna put some nights, uh, some

nitrogen and your tires. It will slow the lead down, will check the rim for you, no charge and floor mat floor mats. Get the floor mats. Yeah, so I said, I said, well, that's nice to you, but you just made me yell for twenty minutes. So now I want to I want to all changes. So he goes. He goes, all right, all right, give it to all changes, just please. I don't want to be upset. I said, you want to be a set. You've been upsetting me for the best twenty minutes. He's like, no, no, he's you're a

good guy. I know you come me all time and you got a cool I love to go out the rims on your call really nice. And he's he starts smoozing me and he's like, you know how it is. It's a Friday. You know, guys are tired. You know mistakes happen. I said, you know, I understand that. I understand that. Uh did you get your free dessert from Paul So? Or you're gonna end up with a few Paul So No so So not only do I get

the free nitrogen which costs like forty in my time? Nice, I get two oil changes of that's a hundred dollars. Like yeah, but I'm still giving you a fuck you, Paul, because you made me jump through fucking hoops and everybody thinks I'm a crazy. We have a happy recap, a happy ending. Brodie. He gave you a hand job. He gave me the hand job. I had a fucking buy him dead. Oh you didn't buy the cab one? What would you have done if? He said? And you didn't

even buy the car? Here, Brodie, I don't know what to tell you other than sometimes people are in the in the thick of it, are gonna say things that they don't know the answers to, or you're just gonna be throw He threw Maggie under the bus so badly. He's like, listen, it sounds like, well, that's what that's that's what I was about to say. Maggie sounds like she's the one that's gonna be fucking she got rolled over by everybody. Here's the follow up. So he tells me, goes, listen,

Maggie's new here, we'll talk to her. Made a mistake. I'm sorry. When she she screwed up, I'm sorry whatever, like, okay, no problem. Now I want Here's the one thing I didn't tell you. When I dropped off my key fob. It was my my extra key fob, not my main key fob. So because I didn't want to give up my my house keys or take it off, so I gave him the garage one that I used at work for the garage. So I gave her the key fob. So I drive off in my car with my regular

house keys and key fob. I get, like I don't know, a hundred yards away and realized I gotta go back to my key fob. So I go back and I come in the stores, but they don't hear me because I wouldn't like the stores, like ten twenty feet away the far the farther end of the way, and I hear him going to talk. He's huddled now with four people at Maggie's desk and they don't see me, and I hear him yelling at horror and he's going, do

you see where you cost me? This guy? I got by two oil changes now and I can't get nitrogen because you wanted the wrong part, and and and and I'm sorry I threw under the bus, but this is ridiculous. This guy, you messed up? Is you ordered the wrong part? I put them apart in I gotta pay for the part. And I walk up and go, hey, guys, what's going on? And what I by all means keep talking about me? Go ahead? Did you get to the part yet where I was? I yelled, and I was, Now you're rubbing

it in their face? Yep? He goes, no, No, why we weren't gonna say that, because there's three people that that weren't there before. I go, hey, just see you, just see you know I didn't raise my voice at all when he tells the story. Uh, And I ended up right and I got to all changes at a deal to prove I'm right. If you have a nice day, everybody. Maggie, I'm so sorry Maggie. And she had this look on her face like help me, help me, rescue me. So Paul threw her under the bus and then let her

for good because ship rolls downhill. And all I had to say was I'm sorry, Maggie made a mistake. How can I make it right? Instead tells me it's my fault. Well, you know what, that ship don't fly with people like us because we're from Raclan, Paul Boys, Bland Boys,