#205: Happy Birth-Bidet

to that I'm really losing it. I'm really losing it. I think we all are slowly speaking of losing your age, get to a certain age exactly, speaking of you know what tomorrow is, Uh, it's my wife's birthday. But other than that, you to be like super Bowl weekend, today was ground something else. The second February sewond so February second is also, uh the second last night was the anniversary of Late Night, Well, actually that was second. It was February second, well and then a Late Night with

Jimmy Fallon in the Late Night with Seth Meyers. So let Himan was on st. Meyers right right, right, that's all great, that's awesome. That's every second, every third, though, aside from your wife's birthday. Come on say it. I don't asshole, it's my birthday. Oh oh oh right, yes, well listen, you can't you it's listen. It's okay to forget your okay, you know why because you forgot my birthday.

My birthday was Sunday, January and everyone in the Morning Show except for two people, uh texted me Happy birthday, hit me up, hit me up on Twitter, on Instagram, I got you. I hit you, and I was like, where the hell is scamp people? Everybody? You guys know you guys know. Slices like, oh is he taking up a steak dinner? What is scary getting you for your birthday? And I said nothing, he hasn't he wished me happy birthday. A second, why do the slices never ask what you're

doing for my birthday? Why is it because my birthday comes first? Because my birthday comes first by four days, much like my with my wife. Person asking what you're doing for me for my birthday? Because they anything because they wait to see if you do anything for me, and you and you didn't, right, And then so eleven thirty two on Sunday night, I get a text message from you and, uh, let me see if if I get I pull it up. I want to make sure or something like that. Keep in mind, I was gonna

do it at eleven thirty two in the morning. I had my reminder set, but the day the day got away, Brody, I just can't you know, sometimes there are other things that are priorities, and oh, other things that are about my family. Oh your family, yeah, because parents with speaking of them, I got, oh my god, they are something else. Something happened with them this week that I just it's it's a very well you'll you'll tell me about that. Okay. So here's what I so. I'm hinted with you all day.

I said, oh, do you have that email about the movie screening thing? Uh? And you said uh, you said yeah. I said great. I said, are you going to forward the email? I'd like to see what it looks like so I can see if I got it or not. Thanks, and you said I sent it. I great. So I said thanks, what are you up to? Trying to get you to ask me what I'm up to? And you said, I'm watching the Nets game about to step out for

a few So you were going out. You're going out on Sunday night, right, yes, all right, okay, my birthday. So I wrote, oh your sports nice, have fun, and then hours later that was your hint. Hint. I was trying to like, you know, hey, man, uh you know, what are you doing? What's going on in your world? And you're like, I'm watching the Nets game, which, by the way, sports, you're watching a basketball game on on a Sunday. I mean it's the Nets and the Warriors

we're playing. Yeah, you're big, big basketball fan. I mean, Stephen carry with the shot, let's do okay. So so yeah, god, you're reading what are you reading? Like what to say about sports website? No, So then you wrote I know it's a little late in the day, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I set her reminded for myself this morning and somehow bypassed it. So you've got a reminder and ignored your peep into the game. Kyrie Irving was on the court for the It was

on the court. What although Harden was out, Herden was out, and then obviously Kevin Durant is still injured. I want to see those big three the Big three play. If the Big three could be on the court at the same time. Brooklyn Nets, Brooklyn Nets are going to take the NBA Finals, but they gotta get it together. I'm so it's so disjointed. It's like a fucking jigsaw puzzle

over there. Right. Well, I'm gonna see what's on what sport related thing I can watch when it's your birthday tomorrow, so I can wait until, like you know, eleven thirty two to go. Oh, I set her moms still counts, it's still with its still he is the thing we've talked about. Please not over at midnight. It turns the four you're wishing me at that point, you're wishing me

happy twenty nine minutes. That's basically what you did. Happy the next twenty nine minutes of your life, that's what you did, because you know you're not saying, hey, congratulate, happy happy week. You're like, happy birthday. My birthday is over except for twenty nine minutes. So I got twenty nine minutes out of you for my twenty file birthday. That's what I got every year. Some years you go all brody. I forgot. I'm so sorry. Last she said,

I'm gonna set a reminder. I said, how do you forget? My birthday is four days before yours? Every time you know your birthday is coming, right, you don't wait till four days before you know a week in advance your birthday's coming. That's true. Right, you have a you have an iPhone and it's not an android. You have an iPhone. You can put a reminder, and every year you forget that it's my birthday. So last year, I said, dude, it's ridiculous. Now we know each other over twenty years,

put rewind on my phone. I'm gonna put a reminder my phone. Well you did. My question is, but why is it so important to you? Why? Because important? If you forgot my birthday, I wouldn't be upset if you can outthay And that's that's worth Another thing works, that's more offensive. I don't even want to do anything for my birthday tomorrow? Do you know that Robert? Robert wants to take me out for a steak dinner tomorrow, motherfucker.

And she was like, let's go out to dinner. But you know I'm doing my January detox and I'm down twenty three pounds every cheat. Well, it's February. It's a forty four day thing. And just know that for you know, today, tomorrow's day, thirty three is my birthday. On the thirty three, I still have another eleven, you know, eleven more days to go. Every cheat is every cheat is a setback.

So I need to keep losing losing, losing weight and lose it here well you know, but but you know, if you think about it, I don't want to sunk that up. So now we're trying to figure out are we gonna meet tomorrow for my birthday. I may not do anything, and maybe I may be the only person on earth that doesn't give a fuck about my own birthday. I don't care. You know, everyone's like, everyone's like you.

You don't celebrate yourself when why don't you? You know, you don't allow you don't love it when people call Yeah, I appreciate it. I'm thankful. I'm grateful, but it's not the be all end all if you don't wish me a happy birthday, or if you don't take me out for a drink. My friends have this big thing like, let's go to a bar. Come on your birthday, Come on, man, we gotta buy around, let's do and wow, that's nice and it's comforting, and that's cool that I have a

support staff like that. It's not entirely my Okay, I get I don't have to I don't have to do that. I'm happiness. Let me ask you a question. You at Robin a long time Yes, a fantastic woman. Uh if she you forgot her birthday? And if she and she said, I can't believe scary you forgot my birthday? What would how would it go? If you said to her, Robin, baby, I don't care about my birthday. My friends want to take me out. Brody forgot my birthday. Didn't matter to me,

It's not a big deal. I don't care, so you shouldn't. How would that work for you if she forgot my birthday? If if you blew off her birthday or didn't make a big deal because it doesn't matter to you. If you said, rob, but I didn't get your gift because I don't want a gift, how would that work? That wouldn't go over? So why should it go over with me? Because you don't like something? Is that is that my fault?

Is that? Is that a reason why I shouldn't be upset. Listen, I spent a good part of my day Sunday because they deserve it. I I wrote back or liked every Instagram post, every d M, every tweet, every Facebook post from my family, and by the way, I will do the same. I will. I. I will get to everybody, and I appreciate anything that comes in. And I'm not

I'm not the blanket thank you guy. You know, sometimes if someone throws up a post like everyone me a happy birthday, thank you, I try and get back to everyone. I'm like you, except I'm more Instagram and you're more Twitter. So that's fine. I'm both. I got more d ms on on instant and I got tweets absolutely on Instagram. Because Ali from our social media team at the other strad Morning Show put up a picture of me on the Elvis Rand Show account, which, by the way, I

did not approve, not one of my favorite pictures. I had plenty of pictures. She chose one on her own. Fine. I appreciate the effort and she put up and she put a nice frame around it. Happy Birthday to David Brodie. A couple of things which I already talked to her about, which I think could be improved. Tell me if I'm wrong on this one. She didn't put a date. She just said it's David Brody's birthday. So for days now people are still wishing me a happy birthday because they

don't know what day. That posts one up. They is the first time they saw it, and it's like, oh, it is David Brodie's birthday today. So I went and changed that. I put in Sunday, January January like, so they know the day of the week and the date and it's not my birthday anymore. Now, listen, I don't mind belated birthday wishes. It's just if I'm gonna make it a point to get back to everybody at some point I'm like, okay, it's like February three, Yeah, okay.

The other thing is she wrote wish David Brodie happy birthday, but she didn't write wish at David Brodie happy birthday. Now, if you say wish at David Brodie happy birthday, two things happened. Number One, people will write at David Brody and you'll get an alert so you don't miss it, and you'll go, you know, you'll comment, which is very helpful. The other thing is you get more followers. People are going, oh my god, I don't follow Brody. I should because

it's funny, right, nice guys trying to help out the world. Debatable. So when I changed it on Instagram, I changed it to wish at David Brody happy birthday, tag him, everybody was started tagging me because it's not second nature to every one, So people would just write happy birthday Brody. But if it's not my post, I wouldn't necessarily see it. I wouldn't get an alert. So but so you find them, well, I went I went looking. Yeah, I went looking because

I wanted because people wrote nice things. People are like heavy burthday Broody. I was like, let's there, I'll get there. The people some really nice things and I don't want to I don't want to miss that. I don't do to think. Well, I wrote Brody like blah blah blah about his phone taps, and you're because you're not you're not heard from as much. So well, it is scary. Jones didn't take me out for a steak dinner, so I had plenty of time bother A lot of people

on Twitter like, know where's Brody steak dinner? The official Brody Steak Dinner update. The Twitter account was asking about that. It was like, oh yeah, by getting steak dinner? What's up with that? You know? What's up with that? What's up with that? What's up with that? Can I tell you? Jason szadekis. I love that what's up with that? Bit? And I loved when he was back on the show a few weeks ago. I want to learn all of

those dances. I think he's the running Man and the peg leg it's just right, it's the I think it's the running Man. But all of his like they look very simple. He does like two or three with the gold chains and the tracks does it for me of the gold chain, but he does like the pumpkin cabbage patches. He's the running Man. They all look very simple. But I want to do all of them. I can't do any of them. I just want to say, very if you learned that for that sketch, or if he just

has it knew it growing up. I think he's one of those well growing up though some of those moves aren't at all. But I think he's one of those guys that just like sees a move and goes o't do that well, like learns it quickly. I've watched I don't know if you've done this. I watch like dancer tuts on Instagram when they do like step by step and they go left right, left up right leg rift up left leg, like how to shuffle all those I watched it in slow motion. I acted out, can't do it? Oh,

I can't do it though. Oh by the way, coming up. I have a very Brooklyn story and which you'll probably be relating to. Okay, So I was visiting my parents in Brooklyn just yesterday, okay, And of course we had that fairly decent snow storm which left a lot of snow and slush and ice. That was back over the weekend, right, so it was like the remnants of that. So goes out of my parents and just you know, checking on them, and I'm like, hey, Ma, what where's daddy? And she goes, oh,

he's in the garage fixing his shoe. I said, what, By the way, just a note, just point out you always call you that your father daddy to your mom always. I don't call my dad daddy to him. We know that we've this is we've talked about this on several you us. You usually when you tell stories, you ask your dad where mommy is. I don't remember the last time you asked your mom where daddy was? Where's daddy?

I just walked in the house. You know, where's daddy? Oh, he's in he's in the garage, like fixing his shoes. What let me go down there and see what's up. So I went to go down and say hello to my father and hey, man, hey dad Dad. I don't call him daddy to his face, right, I talked about I say daddy when it's to other people about him. Does he have a hear you? Like if he's in the next room and you're like, Mommy, wis daddy? Mom whiz Daddy? Does he go Jesus? No. I would never

say it in his presence. No, but he could be in the next like around the corner. He don't. You don't see not. But you know he's heard it. He's had to have heard it. And if he has, then you know maybe he's fine with it. He might be thinking it's awkward, so he maybe it makes him feel you. He's sitting there, he's taking a hammer to his the soul of his shoe. I'm like, are you like a shoemaker or something like, what what do you call it? A cobble, A cobbler, A cobbler, A cobbler, your a cobbler.

What are you doing? It was, Oh, this freaking soul, the freak and soul came off my shoe. I'm trying a super glue it back, I said, Dad. I said you, First of all, you've had this pair of shoes for about fifteen years now, I think I was still living in the house. I'm like, you, you have shoes, you have sneakers, you have plenty, Just part with it. No, no, no, I can't because I gottaware the rubb butt and see the rubber came off the thing, so that he's trying

to literally superglue the rubber back on the shoes. So then he's putting the shoe on the floor and he's pounding into the shoe fromt with his fist to make it stick. I said, well, first of all, how did this happen? He goes, oh, he was. I was running after the garbage truck and I slipped on a patch of black ice and I fell. I'm like, what I said, are you okay? Because yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm like, why are you chasing the garbage truck down

the street? It was because they didn't take the freaking but I forgot to put the freaking boxes out. But my father, you know, he has to break up all the boxes that the cardboard boxes, and he forgot to put him out. So apparently he saw the garbage the garbage truck. Comedy goes, ohly, sh it, I forgot to put out the fucking the boxes. So he goes downstairs and he tries to read. You know, he's with the

boxes in hand, misses the garbage truck. The carbage just doesn't see him's running the middle of the street and then he slips and he fell falls. Is he yelling at garbage guy? I don't know what he was saying. I wasn't there for that. And then and so that's two things. Now, hey, you're trying to put like and forgive me if you have tattered shoes that you've tried to put together. I'm just telling these sees have had it and there's no way. And he's super bluing them back. Okay, great,

there's that. And then there's a second piece of this, and that is why are you chasing the fucking garbage truck. It's coming back in another three days. What the hell do you care? Why do you have to, you know, get all the garbage out right now. I mean it's not that it was like putrid smelling trash. It was broken up cardboard boxes. So as a homeowner, you have to do. You have to you have to do shut out, you have to get it out, you have to cleanse

your mentally, reset your house. That's what exactly you said. The keyword, Brodie, mentally get it out. It's in your head. It's all in your brain, So what let it go? The thing is he should set a reminder like his son that he ignores. It says the night before take Like I have a reminder of my phone on Tuesday nights. It says recycle all. So it reminds me on Tuesday's I put out the boxes and the bottles, the recyclable calends whatever, everything goes out. Although I'm a little anal

about one thing. You're allowed to commingle. You're allowed to put the boxes in the cans in the same pail. I can't. I can't do it. I gotta go cans and bottles in one tail and boxes in the other I can't do it. I can't do it. So part three of speaking of being anal but continued, do you want to say something? It was about it. It was on that same note of my parents. Only only that you say to said the boxes thing, and I'll let

you get back to your parents real quick. The boxes went out last night right as of in my house. You don't know my house right Tuesday night at the boxes and bottles went out with the garbage last night as of the start of this podcast, because I checked, they hadn't picked up the boxes yet. So what happens is if they don't come, there's no alert from the town that says we're gonna come tomorrow. Sometimes there'll be some holiday we didn't know about, or like there's whatever, whatever,

there was a reason for they had a snow day. Whatever, they'll go, Oh, they won't tell you they'll pick it up next Wednesday. So you have no way of knowing. Do I leave the boxes out and they're gonna come tomorrow at day late because they're running behind because maybe on Monday they was they had a snow problem, so everything got backed up at day They don't tell you they don't send it a town right email. You go

on the website, they don't always update it. So on Thursday, everybody walks out like it's a zombie apocalypse, and they're like, they didn't take the boxes? Do I bring them back in the house. So there's always one guy who's like dragon is dragging the pail back in the house. And then there's other people are going, well, what if they come. I gotta leave it out, what if they come? So then by Friday the boxes stot and like funk it,

they're not coming. And sometimes they come on Friday and you're like oh, and then you run after them because you're like doing your house. They only come once a week. You're like, I got all these fucking boxes. Fuck and you got Dennis. The fucking guys, fucking guys leave. They didn't take the boxes. They didn't take the box. I believe you. I haven't want your father on that, but that one's his fault. Well, the third part of this is I I also my mother was like, hey, Anthony,

you have one of those tushy bid days. So I said, I said, yeah, I said, they actually I actually have an unopened you know, we've did some business full disclosure. Tushy was a sponsor of The Big Show that Elvis, not this podcast, not this podcast. Uh and and um, they gave me a free tushy which is a little a bi day. It sits uh you screw it to

your the water thing on. It's not that different, but right, yeah, and and then you have some bidat action and you've got some like right up your ass, you know, water going up your ass. You don't know. Let's be honest, we've gotten more than one. Yeah, so this is my right. So so this one right here. So my my mother's like, I want, I want to install it, bring it home. I said, great, I said you can have it. So I part of the reason where you can see my parents just today is to drop off the b day.

And you know, again it's just a small little thing that attaches to the toilet seat underneath. It's again, as Brody said, very easy to put together right rightly, so that you everything that squirts your mother's ass, right. But unbeknownst to me, hold on it was again it's a Brooklyn is a Brooklyn couple in their seventies fighting They

don't know from the fancy schmancy that's my father's problem. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, my father, well, my father and my well, hold on, you can't tell what I can before he does. My parents here here, you can. You can do the re imagine the imagining of what happened. But but I I found out that my parents had a fight about the day or no boday. My my father did not want to install it and my mom wanted it. But four I got there, so I didn't hear the fight,

So I can just imagine what it What have sounded like? Oh, so here's what in my mind what your father would say. Row, Row, I'm sixty eight years old or whatever. I lived this long without water shooting on my ass. Somehow I managed to wipe my own butt. I don't need some new fangled fancies thing from our son with his pre brint turkeys bringing his thing here to shoot water on my ass like I'm some kind of I don't know. I

can't wipe my own ass. Guy, you want the guys at my job to find out I can't wipe my own ass. You want people to come over here and shoot water? Hey, hey, Tony, he's used I shot water on my ass. It's a nice thing you got. I don't want that. I don't want to know from other people. I don't want to know that he's got the water shooting him. I don't want it. I don't want to row. I got the fancy garbage barely bought me opens by itself.

That's enough. That's enough of a life adjustment. I don't need no water squarter on my s s. How's that? That was probably how it went. I don't know how it actually went, but they were, they were with each other, and of course my father went out, he goes, I don't want this thing. So apparently there's not gonna be a bi day in the scary house over there in Brooklyn. They they've he's turned it down. Yuh know, he's old school, he's he's paper guy. He's me. My mom is like

willing to try it. She's like, you know what, that would be nice. What if there comes a time where we can't wipe it round? Okay, but you know, you know why the ladies liked them to day. Well, I'm not saying mom, I'm saying the pig I am. Okay, So speaking of toilets, can just say we're going for it. Yeah, yeah, So we have, um, we have bathrooms at work, and after the show today I wanted to use the bathroom out by the reception area to private, you know, one

stall bathroom. So I went in there to use the bathroom and I have they have the thing on the wall with the seat covers toilet sea covers. Okay, so it was a brand new package of seat covers in this metal holder. Well, you know, when you're in like a pizza place, you gotta take the tissue to the napkins out and it's full. You can't get them out. I hate that. So you have to grab like ten of them when they overpack it right, Okay, so that's overpacked. I can't get it out. So I have to take

one out and it rips. I take another one out, it rips. So now I take like four out and they're all ripping. I got. I had to go through like ten to make it loose enough to get them out. I should have just opened the cover, but I was like, I'm stubborn. I'm like, the next one is gonna be gold. So I finally get one that's in one piece. You know, it's got that flap right, and it's not always a perforated. You have to like perforate the flap and then so

while you're doing that, you end up ripping it. So I had to throw that one out too. And then I had to flush the toilet, which is an auto flush, very important to the story. It's an auto flush infrared and as a button. So I had to like, you know, knuckle the button because I didn't want to like touch it. So I took toilet paper on my knuckle and I flushed it. So I flushed like ten toilet seed covers. I get. Well, let's say it's called the eleventh. The

eleventh one perfectly on the seat. I put the flap down into the water lock that in, put down, flip it and reverse it right so that I do. I do the pants down, the turnaround pants on the ground, and as I go to sit down, I hear it auto flushed and sucked the cover right down. So now as I'm as gravity is pulling my ass down to the seat, I gotta grab the handicap bar and pull myself back up because it almost I almost sat down on skanky seat. So now I gotta start the process

over again. I'm trying to get a seat cover that isn't ripped, So I had to go through four more seat covers and I have to go to the bathroom at this point. So f you auto flush, because you know when you wanted to flush, the fucking thing doesn't flush. You're there for an half hour waving your hand and your leg doesn't. The second you make a false move, it flushes. And nobodays at work, by the way, no days. All right, we have uh oh, we have some voicemail

to play coming up, and we relates to Brooklyn. For Brooklyn, we have voicemails. Uh and you guys on the number, which is great. Uh and oh. I also want to talk about how you don't know how to respond to questions what huh with body and scary? All right? Are we doing all? Sound here? Whatever you want to do? And I think we should we have the whole the voicemails. I gotta have five or six of them we should play. So we posed a question. We threw a question out

there on Twitter. Yeah and I saw so I sent out the unless you want to do that in a little while, Did you have something else at the moment, No, let's do that. Let's les No nothing, I got all kinds of stuff. I sent that there was an article and I don't know where it was, and as a local New York website, and it was an article about

northeast customs New York, Philadelphia, and Boston. There might be other cities, but this article was about the ones, the bigger cities in our area that we know for a fact. This happens when you live on a side street, you have a private house, not in a big city, but you're a you know, you have you have a house on a side street, and you shovel. You don't have a driveway, right, you don't have your own garage, and so you park on the street, parallel park. You shovel

out your car, and you pull out the car. You shovel for an hour, you get all the snow out from behind the wheels. You finally get out, and there's that wall of snow from the uh, the snows what they call us the snow the street cleaners that push the snow to the right, always always on the left, always because they always shove the snow to the right.

And then your stuff and I live on a cul de sac, so both sides of the right because it shoves to the right goes around the circle and then I'm on the right and gap right, so my my driveway is always destroyed anyway. So if so you know we lived in Brooklyn, we used to shovel out the cars and when you pulled out, some lucky funk would pull into your spot that you did all the work. So a lot of times people would put stuff in

this spot, like a folding chair. They would steal the orange cones from some construction site and make it look like a construction site. You put something in a bike rack, something in the spot that no one would go in the spot. And then when you came home at night, your shoveled out spot as they're waiting for you because you did all the work. Hey, that's my spot. I shoveled it out. It's my spot. But is it is it? Well? I'd like to think it is, but some people would

disagree and go the funk. You can't. You don't own a spot, right because that guy may have shoveled out his spot, but now he's in your neighborhood. He's gonna talk in your spot, right, Or maybe he was in a parking lot somewhere. Either way, he's he needs a spot. If everybody saved the spot, no one have a spot. So there's difference thing differences of opinion. So I sent out a tweet and Scary retweeted it, Um, what do

you think about this? And please leave a message at our voicemail or new phone number that we've been promoting. F you abe, that's two three two three seven seven, which Scary likes to give out. You can figure out the phone number. It's two E F you A seventy seven. So we got some voicemails and I said, hey, keep it short, keep it funny. I don't leave a voicemail. It says yeah. So it comes nine on the topic

at Central Jersey. Yeah, boys, I'm calling about your picture of the people that sever of the snow and then they mark their spot or take their territory. I think they have every right to take their territory. That actually is a picture that you show is right in front of his house. But if you busted your rear in and you clean that spot, look gives other people the rights to just come and slide in when they sat there and watched you do all the shoveling and all

the work. So I think that they should be able to put places, little markers or whatever they do share in their spots, and that should be for them when they come back from work. Have a great day, all right, stay warm, We'll stay warm. Hey, leave your name next time. We'd love to, you know, say hi, but thank you. Female voice on the phone. Some fine feedback there. Um. I don't know if I agree with that, but what

else we got? All right? Here we go, Eric. So if you dumb enough to go out there and shovel out the spot, you're dumb enough to realize that anyone can take it. So that's it. If you go out there and shovel it, I'm taking because I ain't shoveling the way it is. Raoul on Long Island. Bravo Raoul. That is the ultimate Brooklyn attitude. And I agree with you. But here's the thing, right, Roulin's got to the New York attitude. Right, Hey, I'm gonna pauk in that fucking spot.

But if it was his spot, his New York attitude would say, don't punk in my fucking spot. I don't believe Raoul for a second. I think as the spot er, he's like, I'll take that spot. But if he was the spot. He'd be like, don't take my spot. You have to agree to that ski, you don't you if that guy's attitude says to me he did keep that spot, Yes he would. And I don't blame him for it. I just think it's finders keepers. You know what happened

to me today, I'll be honest with you. So there was really no spots today because again it's still you know, it's snow in Manhattan. And I'm d and I drove to work today, so and I I'm sorry, I drove. I drove, and I I didn't park in the garage. I decided to park on the street because I want to park there. Now there's no there's no park any parking anywhere. All of a sudden, I pull up to

where the bakery is. There's actually three spots, and I see a giant ass police metal grade, a big long the loe of the defense, the long fences base they use. Look at this. This motherfucker put one parallel into the

parallel parking space. He put a parallel with the spot, and then there's a car and back in a car in the front, and then the middle parked at like a car and in the middle and the Yeah, he parked it like a car in the and he threw this So I and uh like best best decisions that Andrew was like, was in the car with music, You want to get out and move it. I'm like, fuck yeah. In fact, once I parked this car, I'm gonna take this thing. I'm gonna move it walking down the street

so no one throws it to my windshield. Yeah, because obviously some asshole thought that he gets he gets to like parking that spot and save it overnight a minute. You know who it was? The bakery people parked their van on the side so they can load and unload their van. Not my fucking problem. That's right spot. It's a public parking space, and it's a metered parking for the floading and unloading. So I airplane, So so Andrew the as I got you. So Andrew took the gut

out of the car, removed it. I parked where the thing was parked, and I took that thing and I just walked it around the corner ignorance, like I don't know there, not even close to my car. Okay, here's the big question. If Andrew wasn't there, would you have left your car double park for a second and moved it yourself. Yeah, absolutely, because he was I was desperate. Okay, Cody for five, that's north of the ship. Brody is scary.

My last response for too long. The short of it, Uh, it's Christopher Trayris from Slice of Life in New York. If somebody put a cone in their spot and reserved the spot and somebody saw them shovel on the spot, they should not park there, right. But if they didn't see them shovel the spot and they didn't know that, that's a freebeat. You are you get that spot, You understand what I'm saying. Slice of Life, keep it up.

I want to hear his longer call. So what he's saying is if I got this right, If you see the guy shovel for the woman shovel and put the cone there and drive off, you gotta respect the guy because you saw him shovel. But if there's a cone

there and you didn't see him shovel, fuck it. It's open season because you don't know if the guy who shoveled and put the cone there, or the guy who came after the shoveler parked there and then at the cone there you know nothing, you know something, Chris Travers, I agree with you. I do agree. I think that's a happy medium. Um, if if the spot has been shoveled out and then and there's no car there, I'm

just jumping in. If I don't know who it is, you didn't see it, it didn't happen, right, I don't know nothing. I didn't see nothing. Somehow it got shoveled though, which I don't care because I can't prove who show Maybe it's somebody I fucking hate. But if but but honestly, yes, if I saw the person shoveling and sweating and toiling and putting all their effort into it, Okay, then I will well let me ask you this. Then, do you if you if you take the cone out of the spot?

Oh that that that gets right? Okay? Do you walk the cone down the block like you did with the fence? Do you? Or or or be do you keep the cone and put it in your trunk so you have it now as ammo from your spot next time? Or if you're only gonna be there for a couple of hours, right, let's see you doing a little shopping. You can be a couple of hours. When you leave, do you put the them back? Yeah? Uh, well you're taking the calne. Non I put the comb back. I'm not steal the cone.

So you're gonna you So what do you do with the colne? You're gonna put it in your car until you come back, or you're gonna put it like up the blocking the top of my car. I hide it. Then when I then I leave, I take it out of my trunk and I throw it back out there. But you're not leaving with it. No need to. I don't need dirty fing cone in my car. Um. All right. So that's all we have on that topic, and just

the three voicemails, that's it. Yeah, and then we have all we well, we have other voicemails that they just decided to say their own thing, like Eric code seven one seven that's a Lancaster scary, scary brody. What's up Jason from Eastern Pennsylvania calling in regards to episode two three when Scar was talking about his standard toilet, Um not the same one? What dozen golf balls? Yeah, no, it doesn't. I just want to call and say that that's bullshit. It doesn't. Um Na keep up doing what

you're doing. You guys are awesome talculator. So the Champion four the Champion four toilet which claims, yeah, so do I and this guy has it too. I'm wondering if he experimented, Like, how did he actually find out that it doesn't he throws bucket of golf balls in there? Well okay? Or did he eat the golf balls and poop them out? It says it's that The claim for that toilet is it swallows a bucket of golf balls

in one gulp and flushes him down and flush him. Well, but here's the thing that I don't know if he's I don't know if you can factor this in. What if your pipes are clogged and the balls get stuck in the pipe. That's a great question. Oh my girlfriend's calling on your phone? What fuck? Well? That that that? That's the cutee running that I have. Yeah, I want to talk hold on a second right right? Uh hello, hello Brooklyn Boys Hotline? Are you really putting me on

your podcast right now? We aren't doing that. I'm not even here. Oh oh, I thought you were scary Bertie. Oh we're both at we sound the same. I know what's up. I just wanted to know if we were celebrating your birthday tomorrow or not. We were talking about that. We're talking about that. It's funny you called perfect. So here's here's what you missed. Robin, uh scary blew off my birthday until eleven thirty two at night, even one at night on Sunday because he can't remember that my

birthday every year every year. Somehow it works out every year it's four days before his coincidence, that works where the coundar works. He can't remember that. He put a reminder on his phone, and then when I called him on it, he said, well, you know what my birthday. You know, Robin wants to take me out, but I don't really celebrate birth It's not a big deal to me. My boys want to take me out. It's a big deal. So so he's trying to make me feel like it's

not a big deal. I forgot my birthday because it's not important to him. So I said, oh, what if you ignored Robin's birthday? And your excuse was, well, Robin, it's not that important to me, so it shouldn't be that important. You would that work for you? With Robin? He goes, oh, hell, no, she loves celebrating her birthday. Said we don't. I said if if, it doesn't matter

if you like your birthday or not. The people around you like their birthdays, so you should treat them the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated. You agree with that, right totally? Was that the ice cream man coming down the street? What the hell is that noise? Oh? That was the TV? I turned it off? Well, scary. Ask Robin the question about the cone in the parking space. She's from the

shoveling out parking spaces. You spend all days shoveling out your car and then and then um, and you leave and then somebody takes the spot. What's up with that? Is it okay to put a cone or something the spot? Ye? Should you say? Is it okay for you to save the place that you shoveled or is it as you did all the work? Or is it free parking for whoever comes there next? No, it's thank you. See, that's why we get along. Well, that's because neither one of

you has shoveled out a car. And how long you're not a driver? So right? Right? So Robin doesn't know the hardship of shoveling out your car when you have to get somewhere and then you call your tires is spinn You're putting cardboard boxes under your tire to get it to go, and you take forty five minutes to shovel and I want to get your car out. And then you're like, I want my spot, so you put something in there. You go. I did all the work.

I'm keeping my spot. So Scary and Robin agree, open season, right all right? And to answer your question, Uh yeah, let's do dinner tomorrow. Okay, great, you tell me when you're done, then club and do you like a good biday? No? They kind of freaked me out, thank you. You know what. So the same thing with my my father hits them.

As I found out yesterday. My father my mother wanted one. Yeah, so he drove there to install it, and before he got there, they had a big fight, and uh, Anthony sr Red Red Red Row the riot act about how he doesn't want this thing stroking up his vest. He's whipped his seven almost seventy years by himself. I don't need some water things shooting up there. I know what I'm doing. One of my some child. So they had a big fight, big fight, dishes with thrown you know, craziness.

I got that electronic garbage pail from Anthony. I don't want anything else. You know, the creator, the creator of the tussie, the c she'll tell you, she will tell the creator of the tushie will tell you that we've been we've been wiping our butts with paper for a hundred fifty years. Why has nobody questioned this? So you know in other countries they do it, that they have days they have you know, but why do why is Americans? We've sat here for a hundred and fifty years and

this is the only way. Is this the only answer? Well? She's is she on with us tomorrow? Okay? So I have a question for Robin. Maybe, because you're smart, maybe can figure this out. Would you agree for the most part that humans are the top of the food chain, so to speak, we're the most advanced uh race on the plan on it, most advanced animal rather on the planet. We fly planes, right, we fly planes, boats and trains. We create the Internet. I don't think we're the most advanced. No,

but we don't know about that. We can't prove anything, right, Lions are king of the jungle, but they can't make a plane. Right, But you tell me this, how is it that as the top of the food chain most advanced species? That's the words look a species. And for the most part, unless you're a hairy man from a certain part of the world, your asses are mostly hairless, mostly right, How is it my hairy long haired dogs can poop and get nothing on there, but just poop

and walk away. Animals all over the jungle can poop. What uh? Water buffalo with long hair, they poop, they walk away? Right? Humans have to wipe? How? What? What? What? God designed people in his own image that have to wipe their ass after poop? A question? Just a bottle the monologue? I want Robin to explain to me. Why is the head of the top of the food chain the most advanced species one of the only ones you have to wipe our butts? What is that I think

you do? Well? Are you inferring Brodie that we should just we should just like poop and walk away like the rest of the animal. Is that what you got from that headline? Yes? No, I'm saying who designed us? That we can't just walk away? We have to wipe unless we get that miracle poop that comes out right and you're like, oh, no, wipe, fantastic. Right, you get that one a month where you go, oh that was awesome. What did I eat this week? I'll make sure I

eat that again. But for the most part, you're always wiping. We go through millions of dollars with the toilet paper. We have toilet paper shortages. Meanwhile, giraffes are like and they walk away and they're done, done, done. That would be great. I wish we could evolve like giraffes, monkeys, monkeys. You've silenced her, and you also she's lost her appetite

for tomorrow night. Thanks Brodie. You told me when Robin gets on the phone nausey eight heart, So I don't have to go out to dinner, all right, all right, all right, break in a second anyway, thank you? All right? So I like to tell we're taking and taking a break. But first a couple more voicemail that had nothing to do with anything. So that was that one. Let's see this one over here. Um, oh, we have a scamboni.

Oh hey Brooklyn boys, it's monster, don't ut pants. I wanted to call in and tell you a quick, funny scamboni you know, call like you guys will talking about an episode two of four. My grandma is old and still very sharp, mind, very sharp. So she gets a phone call pretending to be her relative, probably going to ask for money. The guy says, Hi, Grandma, it's your grandson. Now, right from that sentence, she knows this is a scamboni one.

My grandmother has four granddaughters, no grandsons, and two None of us ever in our whole lives, have ever called her grandma. We have our own specific nickname that started with the oldest one mispronouncing a word, and that's what's stuck. So my grandmother, who is almost ninety nine years old, says, your phone shipped to the guy and hangs up the phone. God to love the elderly who won't be taken in by the scampoo snche for life. Guys, just wanted to

tell you the story. I figured you'd get a kick out of it. Have a great day, fantastic, Thank you. That was awesome. I mean it was because I have a say. And then with one more, I think, let's see here's nine uh Jersey, South Jersey. Why are these takes along to load I don't like this very much. I don't like this program having a problem with your scary scary and Bertie. Uh, this is Mary from South Jersey. I've been a slice for on a Slice for life.

Had a question for you guys, specifically Brodie Bertie. When is your book coming out? I would love to uh read your book? Then any type of knowledge from you? And would you consider writing a blog instead? If your books on the way yet? I love you guys. She can't wait. She wants the blog instead of the book, right. Well, okay,

so I'll answer your questions in reversal order. I would not make much money on the blog, so that that would probably not be the way from In other words, the aim is to make money, Well, i'd like to. I'd like to pay the bills, support the family. Uh. Here's the situation with the book. So I started the process of writing a book. I got a I hooked up with a with a book agent as someone who we are at a major book company who asked me to write a book synopsis and give examples, which I did.

I put that together and then I had to do some other work a second piece in order to submit it. Okay, and uh, then then there was some uh, family responsibilities that popped up, and then the pandemic hit and I got sidetracked. And so as I've been compiling free dessert stories from listeners that have been sending me stuff, I have all that, and I've written. I've written a few about the ten eleven pages of an outline of the book. So it's in the process. I've I've made tons of notes,

I've I'm gathering stories. I'm trying to remember old stories. I'm writing those down. It's a very long process. Now, what Elvis did with his book is he had a writer, a guy assigned to him that would help him push through the writer's block, right, help him put the thoughts and the words and the stories into book format, help him write it. Uh. He would narrate to the guy and the guy would like, write it out. I need

one of those. But here's where my problem is. If you do that, you then have to you have to pay that, you have to take a big hit financially with the book company. They go like, oh, we'll hire a guy for you, but then you make less money. So the cheap part of me, the frugal part of me, I should say doesn't want to do that, but the lazy part of me or the procrastinating part of me really should do that. So it's a work in progress.

I'm having that inner, that inner fight, but I do appreciate that you you still want my but I still give words of wisdom in Instagram, you know, d M s. And if you ask me a specific question, I'll do what I can to help you out. And I got a bunch of free resert stories that I'm gonna read it today or next podcast. I'm compiling those. Alright, final two messages from the same phone number, Breaking Boys Brodie and Scary Aspect Brodie Brody half a birthday, Brodie, half

a birthday, Scary half a birthday Brodie's wife. Hopefully Scary Jones doesn't delete his message thank you, and then part two of that. Wait a minute, so that person again wh didn't who didn't give his name, uh, did not did not need to put a reminder on their phone.

Remember it was alright, birthday and my wife's party. Alright, alright, alright, brooken brows has that is scary Now Now the Scary Jose is doing Mr Ska Jean's uh the tux diet what is there gonna be the end weight that he's gonna be down to, and he's gonna be the same or lower because he also he usually uses early to foty pounds. But I'm gonna put him back at you know, the original second quarter, Scary. And then what what is

David Border doing? Like? He looks amazing? I mean not he didn't look amazing before, but but he skin is so much clear, he looks so much healthier. So which diet should we do? The David diet, yeah, or or the other one? That well? All right, so uh that's a great question. So, uh, Scary loses I usually lose thirty pounds every time. Every time I'm Scary loses the

weight in about what forty days days? I lost the weight in about seventy seventy days, and then I and then I yeah, so look it, here's what I'll tell you. I've We've all done. You know, I've used I I used some of the things I learned with New. Remember a couple of years ago we were advertising for New Some of the things in that program are things if you stick with them, they work. So and I also did Weight Watchers back into twelve and I took things

from that that worked really well. And so to me, like just my opinion, I'll eat a banana on Monday and a pineapple on Tuesday, three shakes on Wednesday, eat a steak on Thursday, and fish on Friday. Now you can't do that. Those are like gimmicks. The right that you have to change your life. You have to change the way you you live and eat and it has to be a long term thing. And it's not for me.

This is just for me talking. You have to like, so you have to have healthy snacks around the house, so when you're hungry, you don't reach for the jar peanut butter with a spoon, eat the whole jar peanut butter. You can have a spoon of peanut butter, but then go have grapes, have healthy things in the house, right, Um, but look every there's plenty of diets where you lose weight quickly. It's it's you know this scary. You're on a very healthy diet. I mean you're eating very healthy.

So so in my in my diet, it's, um, you have to have to be very regimented and very disciplined. It's it's literally proteins, vegetables, and fruit, and a specific list of each is a there's an order. There's there's a list of each one of the there's no oil, there's no oils of any kind. No butter if it has oil in it, or if it's oil, cannot have it. No carbs, sugar meaning things that have added sugar, not sugar from fruit. No. No dairy eggs are okay. Low

fat cottage cheese is okay. Those are some exceptions, you know the exception. And and then if you want to use sugar, you gotta use stevia. And that's it. And there's no it's simply no carbs. And you can't have butter, you can't have olive oil, you can't have avocados or nuts, things like that. But proteins, vegetables, fruit, and you follow a like kind of like this paste out thing by drinking this bottle of waterfalls schedule right to schedule thing.

And it's a very very difficult, very difficult um program to to to do to achieve a lot of people try it, fail it. A lot of people try it cheating then go back, cheat on it, go back. They don't lose maximum weight, but involves getting your body into a fat burning zone. And the second you introduce oil to the body again, it goes out of the zone for three to three days or so three to five days, and you're like, what the funk, I'm not anymore? So

you you have to retrain your body. It's very regimented and and it's it's quicker than not for everyone, and and you find yourself eating very healthily. For me, I ate healthy er, right, So I had salad with a lot of meals instead of my Chinese food three nights a week is on my pizza. But I had had a slice of pizza once every other week. I you know, I put chicken in my salad when I wanted to, you know, give me a self a little bonus. So

for me, it was slow and steady. But that's also harder because it was months and months of me losing weight to get to where I am. For me, it's like, all right, let's do this real quick and then rip the band aid off and then come back and then then start waiting. Hope you answered your question? Yeah? All right, so two different styles, yeah, podcast, so you said before the commercial break, I hope we answered your questions, right.

You This week especially have been driving me crazy because I keep asking you multiple questions and you're you're not answering my questions. You're choosing what in the text message. So I'll give you an example. So I said, hey, man, try and retweet me when you get a chance. I just tweeted about an hour ago about the phone number, those voicemails we talked about. Also what happened right? And

I said, also what happened with the paintings. Lastly, the podcast that we're doing a podcast tomorrow, and you roll back. I did, so you answered the first thing about tweet tweeting. You ignored the paintings question and ignored the podcast question. I asked you three questions, you wrote I did. Then I said, um oh, I asked you. I asked you know. So I asked you three questions. You answered one. The next day, I said, hey, I forgot when we're having

that meeting with that guy? You know what I'm talking about? Uh? And um oh, I said, I said, when does that guy have having that meeting on our behalf? Also when is our conference call? Right? Two different questions, you're up back Thursday? I asked you two questions. You're up back Thursday? So I wrote, back. I asked you to questions. Which one is that an answer to? Do you see what you see? You see what what what I deal with on a daily basis? Do you see what the problem

is here? Brody? You just Brody? Yes, Brod is the problem? You just framed it and you just put yourself literally you've wrapped it up into a bow on why you're a problem because normal people and humans don't talk like that. You don't spit fire like three or four questions in a row. We have dialogue. So to me, you ask a question, I respond, You come back with question two.

I respond with question two, and then you respond with question three, and it's it's But the thing is is a flowing you see how you have a flowing dialogue on this podcast and in real life and in real life and when we're out in a bar with our friends and we're hanging out just just being social. Text message is not conversation. If I say, I see that's the difference. I beg to different, Brodie. I don't have conversations where I just rapid fire ship at people, so

you don't. But the text message in the text message, I wanted to know if if if let's call him Mike. I said, Hey, is Mike going to have that meeting on our behalf? And when is our conference call the Mike? Those are two connected thoughts. You can't you be like, Hey, introduced the first question with Mike, then I respond to it, and then you play off of that because I was getting in my call. It's called a follow up because

I was going driving. So I'm gonna I'm not gonna sit there and go I'm gonna send because something Okay, how many times this week if I texted you and you didn't get back to me for six hours? And I how many times? Sometimes things require longer? Something I don't talk with. I don't like to talk take naps. You tell me, oh, I forgot Brodie, I said her mind. You didn't get back to you on your text? Man didn't did I? Did? I not? Twice say Man, are

you okay? I called your house? I thought you would. Dad. I want to say, you didn't respond to my tennis say. I want to say nobody texts out way. I want to say this, Yeah. I don't like to talk with my thumbs. I if something requires an explanation, I like to talk on the phone and deals didn't call me, call me, you didn't call me. You want to say to me, Brodie, I'll call you just new Thursday. I knew said Thursday. So then text me back, go I'll

call you later. I'll answer your questions. You know what, next time, I'm going to do that. But yeah, so my bad on that. But but I just I don't like putting full paragraphs and back and forth dialogue over text paragraph like a couple of it. There is to go back and forth more than four or five times. Nobody remembers requires a phone conversation if I text you, really so if I call yount inswer the phone in the afternoons and you go, oh, I was closing deals

all day. How many times have you said that this week? It was business closing deals? Yeah? I was called in some meetings. Yeah, all weeks. So I can't get you on the phone. So I text you my questions and get figured you'll get back to me. For this this you got a grammar police jingle for me? I got an ironic grammar please problem ironic grammar ironic yes, grammer police police police. The grammar police have arrived on the scene.

So for my birthday, one of our female listeners sent me a very nice uh message on the ELV Strand Morning Show Instagram page, and she wrote, happy birthday, David Brody. You're amazing and I love your grammar police, to which I replied, do you well, then you use the wrong your I knew she did. I knew it. I knew it as soon as you said it. I'm like, she said, she spelled, You're wrong, right, So she wrote back, you got me ha ha soa. She was a good sport about it, but in this but again she loved my

grammar police. How could I not grammar police? Are she grammar police? Me? Um? I probably have other grammar polices here. But I wanted to just stop down because I've complained about this before. Remember when Bob sagotied, I think I see of course, I said, I hate those scammers that were like, oh, I'd like to thank Mary because thanks to her, I can work from home, And they put on those those scam posts right like, oh, find out how to work from home thanks to Mary. So I

have a problem with that. On death posts. The scamming bastards were talking about this last week, the accounts that after we did so mawagic Malwagic nine seven nine had the fucking audacity to tell me how much he loves Gracey because his life has changed. You know. He posted it on my birthday post on the Elvis stra In Morning show, David Brodie birthday post. Oh no you don't, so I logged into the other stra In show account. I reported him and his comment and blocked him. Oh

no you do not gets a block too. You don't, you don't. You don't hijack my birthday post. I only get one a year, even though Scary Jones isn't gonna see it. So, um, that's cool. This is this is not a grand police, This is a this is a know your audience police. I just this is something I wanted to point out. I am so happy, but this is this is what we deal with in life with with news headlines and the media and and you might

have seen this. I posted this on my story yesterday. Um. The media will always spin a headline and tailor it to their personal audience. In the case of Tom Brady, for instance, Tom Brady, as you know, quarterback for the Tampa Bay Bucks and many years with favors quarterback former quarterback right, well now he's former because he's retiring after twenty two years in the NFL. This is why I said former. Right. So now now you with all the headlines and all the media, we're just saying, oh, Tom

Brady retires, big news coming over. What is NBC for New York? Tweet this the station to tell Vigin station that is appealing to New Yorkers. Here was their headline on the same headline that had everyone else saying, you know, you know seven time, seven time, you know super Bowl champ Yeah, blah blah blah blah, tom Brady retiring. They right, Tom Brady, who lost two Super Bowls to the Giants

during his legendary twenty two year NFL career, retires. Awesome, I love you even more Channel four because that's the New York audience. We are Giant fans. We don't really for the most part, fans, Jets fans, as fans. Listen, we don't give a funk about Tom Brady as Jets and Giants fans. I mean, listen, now, listen, he's the goat, much respect, much love. But the guys from out of town, fuck them, you know. So that's NBC BC fans. Giants fans can gloat about the goat. You can gloat about

the goat. The Giants can could do the globe gloat. Jets fans actually hate him. You guys have no reason to hate him. You beat him twice. You can gloat. Man is two and oh versus Tom Brady in the Super Bowl. Fact, but Jets, he destroyed the Jets for twenty years. F him, f him. Yeah, So I just thought I just thought it was funny. I wanted to point that out. That's very funny. I do have one more more grammar police from Kyle Gray. Uh, he said, Uh, the ceiling in this air. So he showed me a

picture of the blueprints in his building. They're building something and it says on it, Uh, ceiling in this area t O to t B D by owner. Ceiling in this area to t B D by owner. Okay, well, what does the T stand for in TBD to be determined. Well, it stands for two. So he wrote ceiling in this area to to be determined to right. So he wanted to point it out as a as a double initial. He wanted to point that out. Um, I have a new segment. Can is it time for my new segment?

Would you like me to ask my Christmas question. Well, it was a couple of things that we tweeted on the Brooklyn Boys account. We reached follow us at the Brooklyn Boy on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. No charge, Um, this is a Danny Romero said, this is a pizza shop in Brooklyn. Are they looking to uh, what's the deal here? There's a sign up it says part time

girl wanted, So Danny, Danny wants to know. Are they looking for to hire or for some companionships, or they're looking for or a part time girl part time guy. Maybe they're they're both sexiest. They just want someone who's a girl part time. And then whatever you do in your own time is your businesses. That could be interpreted

three ways anyway, So that that was very funny. You know, Highway Explorer had a problem at a jewelry store from and then tagged us at jewelry, jewelwel jewelry or jewelry. You put the jew and jewel it's jewelry or jewelry, it's not jewel or whatever. Anyway, they said there was an engraving problem. Was it was a bit too small Highway Guy. Yeah, Yeah, there was a lot going on that post. So basically, here's what happened. He had an engraved bracelet or a ring, doesn't matter for the story.

He needed to have it made bigger. Now, there's there's two ways to make a ring or a bracelet bigger. You can add metal to it right and make the loop bigger, or you can stretch it there by making the ring or the band thinner. Like gum. You stretch gum, it gets thinner. Right. So, because it was engraved, option two of stretching it is not an option because they stretched the engraving out, so he copied us to it.

Uh and uh so they fucked him over. I think his last tweet was that they eventually fixed it, but he was pissed about it because they went to a jankety jewelry store that thought we'll make it bigger by stretching it. That's not Here's something really embarrassing. Our friend Omar from Philly was at the Sixers game and Julius Irving dr j one of legend greatest best maybe five six He was there and they he played for the

six He played, yes, he played for the Sixers. He was there and then there he was on screen and they put his name underneath Julius Irving I r v I n G. I think the spells that E R V I n G. How how embarrassing is that? Maybe they just have a little Kylie kyrie on the Kyrie on the brain. Yeah, wrong, Irving wrong, Irving, wrong spelling, the right spelling of that, Irving wrong of your fucking hometown hero. Embarrassing? How could you so so he caught that?

And by the way, Irving is a first name, old Jewish guy. Irving is the last name basketball player. Yeah, and uh right and then um uh okay, great, That's all I have for the moment. I'd like to shout out Lauren Schneider at Lauren Handley tv uh. She tweeted at David Brody at TB sorry t DBS Foundation, the David Brody A State Dinner Foundation. Happy birthday, Brody. May your diet coke no ice, never be flat, your bagels always be fresh, and your soup never have fucking dill.

That that is my favoriteast Okay, I have a question and then a set a new segment. My question is a quick one. We're in February now, right, how long into any new year do you still have to give a Christmas tip to people. So, for instance, I got my hair cut from our girl Amy, who you went to, I went to. We've talked about this. I went to get I got a haircut November a little earlier than normal because my hair was getting out of out of control, and I was like, oh, I'll be back in December.

But then uh, December rolled around and I didn't get my hair cut. Life got busy in mid December, late December, and I didn't get my hair cut and it was unruly. So somewhere around January fifteenth, I finally had a day where I had time. I went and got my hair cut. At that point, do I have to give a Chris a holiday tip Christmas tip? Right? Or did I think? I think? I think you're scanned it through. If it's at least if it's a month in, I think you're done.

If it's two weeks in a week and a half, I think there's almost three weeks we have in the day week, I think you're over the hump on January Okay, but I didn't do it deliberately. Passed happen. I'm gonna see I'm gonna see my hair stylist tomorrow as a matter of fact, and I haven't seen her since the tenth of December. Missed the big tip guy. Yeah, I

think we're done. Okay, no tip, alright, no, No, I'm gonna tip a regular, but I'm not gonna give her Christmas because you're like Christmas special and she's probably thinking, oh, I haven't seen him since December. I'm sure he's gonna take care of me. So we're sure. We're sure on time. So we do have a new segment, and that we wanted to present you everything. Am I wrong? Huh, that's my segment. I'm gonna get a jingle, but that's my so you could come in with your topics also scary.

Am I wrong? So you know my friend Jeff, we went to dinner a few weeks ago, and I told you how he picked up the tab because he owed me, uh and my meal was fourteen. He goes, I'll just pick up the tab so we'll be even, all right, tell you to start a couple of weeks ago. So we went out to dinner last night. I'll tell you the dinner story next week because there's some interesting dinner stuff. But I'm just gonna stick to the money, end of

the experience. So he says, I'll pick you up at your house because it's on the way to the restaurant. And he picks me up and we go, and he says, I don't I don't want to talk on the street. There's metered parking. Because of the snow, there's less spots, and he don't want to drive around. He made the decision to pull into the town garage, right. I said, oh, well, there's probably spots. He's like, no, I'm gonna pull to the garage. Now. Part of me was like, well, he's driving.

I'm responsible for the garage, right, But I didn't tell him to pull into the garage. So he pulls in the garage. It says ten dollars for the first two hours and twenty dollars for two hours or more. So I'm thinking, abou myself, all right, If I pick up the parking, it's ten bucks. If I go half on the parking, it's five bucks. Not the end of the world. And he drove. Now, when I say he drove, honestly, it was like a seven minute drive to the restaurant.

It wasn't like he drove forty miles in the snow seven minute trip to the next town where I live, a couple of towns over, others three two or three towns over. And we went to dinner. So we've never been there before, and we weren't sure if the food was good, so I wanted to order something that was safe. I ordered the fried rice. Okay, my meal was nineteen dollars. He orders, and again he wasn't trying to be a and by sharra that's a Yiddish word for like taking

advantage guy. He ordered a um a seafood bake. So it comes like a giant pot with crab legs. And you know, see that's my kind of guy right there, right, potatoes, sausage, big thing. Because he wanted that. I'm like, God, no problem, not a problem. So when the when the when the bill comes, he tells the way that, yeah, just bring the check, will split it. Now his was mine was nineteen. That's a substantial difference. But I'm not gonna like, go, hey man, you need to pay an extra five bucks

to cover the difference in the I don't. I don't get into that. We split the check, We split the tip. No problem. Okay. Now, when we go to the parking garage. I have now overpaid for dinner. I make a decision in my to myself. I no longer have to chip in for parking. Am I wrong? You're wrong? Really? And and then you wonder why we never hang out. This is exactly it right here, This is exactly why we

never hang out because I don't because your friend Jeff. Really, that's why we don't hang out, because we're not gonna overpay and then pay for because you know what, next time I might overpay it all evens itself out, does it? Yes? So far I go out to dinner with the guy once a week to two out of three weeks. It hasn't over Yeah I have. I haven't gotten the benefit of the page. Next time, you fucking order the lobster thermidor and you make sure that's right, you should, and

then he's gonna go, oh, you have another. I'm gonna change my order from a burger. I'll have that too. There's no winning. We've talked about this at nauseam. I told you about my my friends copp retirement party and the whole table of guys in the background we're ordering bottles of whiskey from the secret table in the corner. Yeah, and then we all got stuck with the bill. That's what happens when you go out with a group, That's what happens. So everybody just fucking jump in and just

order the good ship, have a night out. Okay, But I but I had already ordered my shrimp fried rice. You get him next time you suck him. Next time you get him, you'll get a funk him. I still have to pay more than I want, and I want to overorder just for the sake of So I'm all, I'm renaming the segment. It's called I'm Not Wrong. That's the new name. It's like, no, no, it's You're wrong. No, No, The segment is I'm not wrong. Don't tell me I'm wrong.

I'm not wrong. You're wrong. That's it. You don't want to hear it any other because I wanted you to like agree with me. I know what you wanted, but I don't agree with you. Okay. So if I took the meal out of it, If he chooses to go in the parking garage and I said there's a meter over there, he drove so he gets to the side where he wants to park. If it involves a garage. You do the right thing and you pay for the garage. And that is separate from dinner. That has nothing to

the garage. If we went into Manhattan, if he drove into Manhattan, I would pay for tolls in garage. The thing is, you're running a tap on the entire night. You gotta take each item individually. That that's what I did. And the garage. I said, park on the street. He said, now go on the garage, because he knew I would probably get stuck having to pay for the garage. You drive, I'd pay for tolls and I'd pay for parking. That's

how that works. If we were in my car, he would not have said, but that has nothing to do with dinner. See there's a wall up there. And then the next I was already leaning on not my problem with the garage, because he chose it. I was already like leaning towards not my problem. But then the meal set me off. Option had he not parked in the garage, it was a spot like, you know, like maybe thirty forty yards away, there was a spot. We gotta walked a little bit. Plus you know, he likes to protect

his car. He's like, now I'm going I'm gonna put my car's his prerogative. He's driving, it's his car, he's he's in charge. You can worry about that. I'm just saying I don't like this segment anymore. I'm don't like it. That doesn be a good Segmentually, I kind of like this segment. No, don't like. I think we're gonna do another one next week. Damn it. I'll tell you. You know who doesn't like for days and water shooting on their ask Guys from Cook Boys m