#204: Strippers, Belly Dancers, and Dick...Van Dyke

can have you can have science opinions your podcast. Do Yeah, yeah, I do what. I want to hang out with everybody. I'm ready. I'm ready to do that that stage dive thing that into concert into the US to remember back in the day when it's like the girl who has surgery on her arm and the uh, the doctor says you need surgery you're arm and she says, well, I'll be able to play the violin after surgery. He goes, yeah, of course she's so good because I couldn't play it.

She's like, oh, post pandemic, I'm gonna go back to doing crowdsurfing and stage diving. Yeah, so I can't. I can't wait to jump back into because you know, I was a big masher back in the days, remember the nineties. But I was, I was right there in the pit. So let me ask you a serious question. Have you ever staged dove or crowdsurfed? Neither? If I'm being honest. Obviously people know what sarcasm is on this podcast. Yes, you know that, they could tell I was being sarcastic,

but no, I could tell I just haven't. Yes, I have crowdsurfed and I've mashed. I have not staged dove, but I have caught people stage diving onto me like I was in. Yes, I've actually been. I've actually been the holder upper of a crowd surfer back in the day. So when I crowd surfed, I didn't jump onto the top. I had people lift me up and then after like a little bit of bumping, I got the hell off,

like I was like, I gotta get down. Yeah, but I was hardcore, you know hard rock concerts and and heavy metal concerts, and I mean thrash metal back in the day, you know Brodie even. But even those concerts, they they were they were known for that. But then there were the other concerts, like when I went to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers where I was literally Red Hot Chili Peppers, yes, and Nine Inch Nails two is to stand out concerts. I saw Nine Inch Nails

in Poughkeepsie and they're some auditorium. It was crazy in the nine in the mid nineties. And and and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Red Hot Chili Peppers were somewhere in midtown. Both venues were general admission, standing only, and as you would imagine at the time of the height of their you know, success or their popularity with I mean both concerts.

I started like kind of near the front, with like maybe like seven eight people like towards the front, and then as soon as the lights went down and and then the music started, I got fucking pushed back all the way to the fucking soundboard like faster than I could, you know, fucking breathe. I was like, what is going on?

And I literally go to oh no, oh no, because what happens is people start pushing and pushing at that moment, and then the thrust of the crowd because you know, backwards, everyone's going you know, you could just you can't even and then the mosh pit breaks out in the middle area. The middle front. So I wasn't even getting near there. I had to I had to be pushed all the way to the back. At any point, did you go

oh and run? Yes? Make that sound well? I did? Well? Well, my friends, it was always four of us that went to the show. We always bought bought tickets and four and literally by the time there ten minutes in and the lights are out and the contests in full throttle, all four of us are separated from each other and making new friends. And that's what that's what happened at both those shows. Those those two specifically stand out in my head. What about you? I was always in the front,

like in uh concerts. In Brooklyn, there was a venue called Lamore. It was a medium sized club, but they had all the biggest names of hard rock and heavy metal and you can go see them in a small club. Iron Maiden played this club. It's only like a couple of hundred people, like but the cool like band. Big bands would go there and maybe in band so we would always be like up on the barricade or on the stage, but there was no like like today, people

get crushed to death. One concept I went to like in retrospect, had I gone, like last week, I'd be dead now. It was some kind of it was okay, So it was there was three or four bands, but I remember that it was Guns and Roses opening four. It was Guns and Roses, Deep Purple, and Arroo Smith. I think so you guys listening might know all of them or some of those bands I just mentioned. And so Guns and Roses opened the show. So this was when they were on their way up, so probably the

album was out. They were a big hit, but they weren't like the headliner, and Arrow Smith of course was bigger, and Deep Purple was bigger. So we got there. When I say we, I went with three guys, Jimmy, Scott, and I remember the other guy's name many many more Jack. Yeah. So Jimmy and the other guy were like six five six, like well over six ft, and they worked out big guys, and Scott was about six ft, big guy. And so when we got we got there really early, really early,

and got up on the barricade. We were right right off the center of the stage, first row Giants Stadium, which is a football stadium, because you didn't know it was a football stadium. It's gone now, and so you've got I don't a hundred thousand people there, but we're on the floor general mission, and we're on the barricade, on the barricad, I'm leaning on the barricade, which is you know, ten ft from the stage. Well, once the

show started, the force of the crowd started pushing. And luckily because I'm I'm not a big guy, I'm not a muscular guy, and five ten if you know, in the right pair of sneakers, and they locked arms with me.

I may have told this story on the podcast before, but they locked arms with me and one guy, one guy got behind me, uh like, you know, just to block the crowd because they saw that I was, you know, the smallest of the four and uh it was like and and so anyone pushed from behind the big guy with the he had a mullet and he like a foo man chew like a like like a goatee sort

of thing. He turned around like like like Chewbacca. He was like, don't push me, man, and so he like the people behind him were no longer pushing him, but the people behind them were pushing. So then it got to the point where the people behind us told the people behind them stop pushing that, you know, so it was like a change reaction. Eventually the pushing stopped, but

it didn't help. I think Guns and Roses went on like an hour and a half late roughly, and it's like his eight hour concerts, So for the opening act to go on an hour and a half late, people would not happen. But yeah, I thought I was gonna die. I feel like, and these are doing we're describing conscerts in them in the mid nineties. Here I'm assuming for you as well. But imagine, imagine, imagine if we had cell phones back then the way we do now. I

don't think there would be mosh pits. I don't think they were would have ever been invented because my theory is that people are too busy in their phones and filming the show that nobody could be bothered with, you know you push. Do mosh pits even exist anymore? Because people are as they have to have their phone in their hands. See the kind of person that mashes the people that I was friends with that hardcore mashed. They went home bloody and bruised. They're not the type to

like hold up a camera and film. They're not. They're there for the emotion and the raw energy and the power of the show. You think that still exists in concerts? Oh yeah, Oh yeah, because I know people have still go to concerts in Mash. I don't. I don't think it happens that like Master Square Garden. I get it depends again we're talking about like we're talking about No, they would never permit it there. Well, you would never

see a show smaller. Uh if you go see um Harry Styles type, you know, act Olivia Rodrigo, no one's gonna be mahing a Driver's not. But if you if you go see um hardcore bands, they're gonna mash. People are gonna headbang and slam and and you know, maybe it's because I've only been going to like show see DJ d M right, but what is not dead? Is he?

Which one is dead? She rest in piece? So you know know, But what I'm saying is like I also go to age appropriate shows meeting, Like I don't go to shows that a twenty one year old or an eighteen year old is going to go to anyway. Sure, not on the mash tip I'm talking about it, you know, but like okay, for instance, okay, when okay then when we were young tours going on. It's actually gonna be one show. Actually they end a So this is gonna

in Vegas. It's on the Las Vegas Um Festival grounds Um October we gond of October twenty one, twenty two, and now it's they've added a third showed October nine because the first two sold out immediately. This is sixties seven bands from the early two thousand's, we're gonna call them emo and late nineties right, also the late nineties, early mid two thousands, but that's the that's the sweet

spot is the mid two thousands. So my oldest daughter already emailed me and said because she's away at school and she's like, I gotta go right, Well, good luck to me getting them. So it's a lot of goth and alt and emo stuff. It's as boys like girls. It's love them taking back Sunday Dashboard Confessional three h three Paramore men who um oh um. Avril Levine is playing I'm forgetting the main head my Chemical Romances headlining anybody with a guitar from and maybe have wore skinny

jeans and guyliner. Yes they're they're uh so sixties seven of these groups bands, but my, my, my larger point is that's a festival ground and there's gonna be you know, there's three stages and it's from eleven and eleven to eleven PM. I don't how they're gonna fit all that music in one in one show. I might have talked about this in the last podcast, but what what what I what I'm getting at is we as people in

our age. The people that that targets now are people in their thirties, mainly twenties and thirties, and you know, and and us if we wanted to go right. So those kids are those people that are gonna be at that show are gonna a lot more calm down now watching it than they were when they were originally watching those groups when they were in their teens. Maybe maybe they'll have a you know, uh, I don't see a

pit break now, white claw in their hand. But but I don't know about that, because there are people who are let's say they're let's say they're twenty five now, because they may not have been growing. They may not have been seven teen when that music came out, but they they were maybe three four, and they grew up with that knowledge of that music, and so to them it's it's still it's still maybe their favorite music. Yeah,

your favorite music. But yeah, but before you, let's face it, the older you get, the less you want to get hurt and fall, so you you're less approach. At this point in my life, I get hurt and fall. We're not going to a convert exactly. You don't need that speak speaking of old music because we're killing this thing, I think. But I wanted to shout out I don't know her real name, because well I do, but I don't have in front of me and underscore k underscore

t a woman. Uh he noticed that I quoted a law from a Metallica song last week, but she credited it as the band that Metallica covered, which is Misfits, which means she's old school, old school and knew that. So it's I was quoting the Metallica cover version and she was quoting the original Misfits version, which is probably again around the time of we're talking about early nineties, Misfits, mid eighties whatever was done. Don't tweet me. So I wanted to give her credit for that because she got

the reference. It was, uh, you said, I got something to say, and I said, I got I killed Joe Baby today, which is a you know, it's an old boat. Look at this. I just got this. Oh but this, I guess just got a text. Are you coming? I'll tell you a second. As far as to answer that question from before the spots, uh the commercials, I don't think you're coming. The podcast hasn't gotten to that point yet, Hio. No, I gave up. I'll tell you what I gave up tonight.

Our friend Cheryl Um not share. Who do I do the other podcast with Cheryl? Our our friend Cheryl Crowley, she is the best. She she texted me earlier on and I never got back to her. I have to say, no, I'm not coming because I'm recording my podcast right now. But I want to let you know, David Brody, when I gave up to be here tonight, considering you bumped the podcast from Wednesday to Thursday, you put yourself in a bay, all right. So she got this exclusive invite.

She wanted me to show up tonight to get this. This. This is an event the Spearmint Rhino Gentleman's Club Private event invite for tonight. It's going on in Midtown and it says, we will be honored to have you and up to three of your friends attend our invitation only private party. What are we doing, let's go. Oh you probably would bring your other three friends. So it's six pm to midnight with an open bar and catered food. We will be get this. We will be here. It comes, here,

it comes. We'll be flying in Spearmint Rhino entertainers from our locations across the country for this special event. I have to be honest with you. Rhino doesn't make me think of attractive women. Oh you never heard a spearmit rhino. No, but I'm in a Google So Spearmint Rhino is hands down, and it's not it's not a promotion, right, No, no, no, And if I y K y K slices, if you know, you know, and if you do know, yeah, I got it. You've been there. It is the most popular strip club

in America. It's the original one is in Las Vegas, um off the strip, and and it's about strip club in New York in Vegas. It says, yeah, well, well the Vegas is the original list. So anyway, I love them. So I guessed that they are now opening this one here, So to celebrate and opening on opening opening, Let's say that's three times. How many people do they flying in? That's a lot of openings. Yeah, think that one gentleman here she is grand opening. I can tell you I

thought of it at the same time. And you said it like parking in the parking in the rear. So yeah, so a gentleman's club a new a new gentleman's club is opened up. So I'm missing that, you know what? And I'm happy because are you well? Yeah? So so so Cheryl was like, who are the three people you would take? No, No, it was Cheryl Crowley's invite, So because she wrote and she texted me are you coming?

Because because I didn't answer her that I wasn't. So I just had a right back to her, No, I'm sorry, I'm doing the podcast. I should have told you I wasn't, but I'm not coming. Literally yeah. So anyway, but she went, she might have went, I want to know how it is. I need you know, I said, send pictures, but uh, but I know spearmint Rhino. So coming to New York? How great is that? It's you know, when people go

to bachelor parties, it's a big thing. You know. I'm sure some of us license have some stories about the Spearmint Rhino. Please let us know. I would love to hear your Spearmint Rhino story. Yeah, well I lost proty. You notice how quiet proteus. I'm reading the YELP reviews. You're reading or looking at pictures. No, there's no pictures. You can't take pictures in their best club in Dallas. Want to be around classy, beautiful women in good management

that takes care of their customers. Come here if you're wrong, you'r If you're coming from out of state looking for a club to go to tonight, do not hesitate to come to Spearmint Rhino. Beautiful club, beautiful ladies. If you have money to spend, I'm out engage. Engage in some v I P action. Hello, wow, let's get them as a client. Oh this person, oh Sarah from Hillsboro, Texas. Such a disappointment. Oh she Oh yeah, she's complaining Sarah for you, We have a Chara. She that's the ape

seventy seven of of the Spearmint Rhino reviews. What's what is? What is your handle? There? Uh? Sarah S from Hillsboro, Sarah S. They were they got a two hundred and fifty on the bottle of Crown. They go upstairs to the lounge and all they did was beg for us to get a room. Oh yeah, because they that's how they make their real money, right room, the private room. Well, there's right, it's Chris Rock right was of course. But yeah, I will tell you that. I'm maybe I'll have to go.

Maybe you, me and my girlfriend will go to the ex parent Rhino. What about you and your your podcast partner? You want you want to go to? You never you never expressed interest in the strip club and your entirely talking about I listen, Uh did I not? When when you had your by the way, I just uh Facebook told me we shared a memory. Does you have a

memory that you shared with your friends? Scary Jones? I posted the video of your belly dancer, Um, your belly dancer birthday party when they put you in a chair and had belly dancer dancing around. It was always I tried to forget that. So that was a surprise forty birthday for me. And when I had a lot of people there, including the entire morning show, you were there, god video and sharl Crowley was to having a great picture. Cheryl was there and I will tell you you know,

my girlfriend planned it. Uh that was the odd part. So she planned it with the no she planned the party with the help of what is it sex, sex on the way Dave. Yeah, well that's right. Davis is in charge of entertain Dave. Dave brought the DJ and and then decided to somehow or for whatever, I don't know what possessed him to do this, to get a belly dancer for me. And I'm telling you he was awkward. I was uncomfortable as the day is long. You are

not good in those kind of cities. Because imagine, all of a sudden, now my friends who didn't even know they were they were surprised by the belly dancer act. All of a sudden, you're having a good time, you're drinking, you're having an awesome time. It's a little a little classy place. Everybody's dressed up a little bit, and all of a sudden, it's like, oh, scary, sit down on this chair in the middle of the room and we're

just gonna shine a light on you. And all of a sudden, this weird music comes on and this woman enters the room, and now it's got to be awkward for the people watching because they didn't expect it. They didn't sign up for that, and I certainly didn't. And everyone's all eyes on me, and she's doing weird things with me. Oh my god, Brodie, I hated Right now, I'm getting I'm getting chills thinking about it. I've tried to block that out of my memory. The time they

got me a belly dancer, the worst experience in my life. Yeah, I mean, I appreciate Dave. I mean I told him I don't want to make him feel bad, but I gotta try to find the video. You don't, don't You were just sitting there like you're gonna poop in the chair. He was so like, Oh, first of all, they were two of me because I was I was right before Dr Fat loss. Yeah. I don't know, dude, I don't even Oh god, I can't, you can't know. I just

I just think it's really weird. It's a it's awkward and bizarre to bring a belly dancer or a stripper into a room for a bachelor party and and you're the only and everyone's watching you, watching them and you and it's it's like weird. It's bizarre. It's not something that I wish upon anyone. Yeah, I've been to bachelor party type of things like what you're like the way your birthday was where the bachelor was really into it, like love and life, but you were not. And it

was mixed company. It wasn't even a bachelor party. It wasn't like all guys. It was athday party. The couples, there were couples, there were women men. You know, why can we get Cheryl on the phone. I'd love to. I'd love to hear. Can we get sharl on the phone right now? She's probably there? I could, well, I could try. I want to. I want to get her opinion on if what she remembers that belly dance thing, and then have her talk to me about the club

that she wants you. We'll do it after our next break, but but I I'll get her on the phone. Yeah, I will say one thing. It is my sister, my brother, my parents were also supposed to be there. Thank god they weren't. Oh my god, right, what would they have done? It's on my phone. I was looking for the video of view. Please don't, let's move on. Surely you have things to talk about. Oh, I surely you can't be serious. I am serious that I'm calling me Shirley. Oh, I

always have things to talk about. But all right, I won't look at the v Okay. Oh there it is, and I'm not gonna okay, please don't Hey. Speaking of text messages, I got one. I wanted to just run by you real quick. UM, tell me if you think this is real or not, because maybe I just don't remember. Uh it says now For some reason, there's like little accent marks over a lot of the words, so they're using that like um, lots and and little like vs.

Jeremiahs this is Raven. We were talking at Raven's cocktail party, which is weird because she's Raven. We were talking at Raven. Thank you. We were talking at Raven's cocktail party and traded numbers. I'm back in town for a little bit. If you wanted to actually meet up this time, are you up for that? So? Did I forget meeting Raven at Raven's cocktail party? Or is this a scam? I don't remember. This has been going around. You know about this, right? Yeah? Yeah?

All scams you think they try and bring you in lead you into a conversation in somewhere they're gonna ask you to buy Amazon gift cards for them and send them the codes. Oh you went deep into this? Did you write her back? Did you text Raven back? No? I didn't. But I'm telling you this is They lure you in with something very specific and obviously very incorrect, and then you, out of the curiosity of your heart, feel like, wait a second, this is a real person.

You don't think it suspect it's a bot texting you. Which better? I have a boat story later bo got the best of me. But but you feel like you want to help out, and then you're engaging in a real conversation and next thing you know, you're sending them your your social Security number. And how deep into this conversation did you go? Oh? I didn't. Did you know? By the way, No, this is no. This is an example I was gonna give from our own company. This

text message you've got. We've got to read this. I was gonna read this on the podcast Get to the Minute. So let me just follow up at this. If you're gonna try to scam me and try to convince me I met you at a party like even if you were gonna like try, why would you go with the name Raven? Wouldn't I remember meeting a girl named Raven? Is that a common name in any town USA? Were like like like, uh, like if you were Mary or or Rebecca or or uh, you know, like Danielle, like

something a little more common might go. Did I meet a Danielle? Maybe I met a day Raven. Wouldn't I remember meeting Raven? And why would you use my name? The odds of me being Jeremiah right that that's It's so you're hoping. Now somebody's gonna say, well, maybe they just got the wrong number. No, this is clearly a scam. I just feel like, if you're gonna scam, you'd be like, hey, baby, this is Maria. You know we met at a party, but you were like, jeremiahs this is Raven. We met

talking at Raven's cocktail. It was there. Now here's the question, was there a second Raven? Or is she talking about her stuff in the third person? That's a great question. Well, I don't think they put too much thought in that. I did. They were hoping to get you, they were gonna have then I got your moment um you know, there was this email they sent down the company in our company. That's that's saying that that our ceo, uh A CEO, Bob Pittman, right that that that these text

messages are coming from him. They say, don't be fooled into your these text messages, because it's saying that that it's him and he's in a meeting right now and he needs you to go to go buy Apple gift cards. Yeah, this is a real life example. They say, he's texting a producer on the Elvis Show. He's texting one of us. He said, I need the Brooklyn boys, like, who are we gonna Who's gonna fall for that? A random person got I forgot who it was, but I'm not one

in our company. No, no, no, If you look at the if you look at the email, they say, here's an example of what's going around our company. And they spreadshot at the text message. If you could find it, that would be great. I don't have it, but anyway, the paraphrasing the person the employee they targeted. Employee appears to get a text message from our ceo and then he said and then she says, oh, I think you're

the wrong the wrong, Jennifer, you know whatever. And then he comes back and says, no, it's the right person. I'm in a meeting right now. I need you to help me out, and I need you to get me these Apple gift cards or something like that. And you know, the dialogue happens for a little while until until finally she stops answer because she knows it's a scam. But could you imagine that that people are doing these scams now,

They're they're targeting companies. They're getting the names of the people who are in charge, and then somehow getting into the company directories and text messaging some of the people the employees, pretending to be the CEO or the marketing director or whatever, and then trying to say, oh, I'm in a meeting right now, can you go buy me these Amazon gift cards and give me the code numbers. Some who knows if people will fall for it? I mean, I smell a rat. I don't trust anyone as far

as I could throw him for Brooklyn. But well, people believe there's always somebody, always somebody hold a text Oh here it is pretending to be employees, some thinking Bob Pittman employees to convince you to go out and buy gift cards for Bob since he's tied up in a meeting. Yeah exactly, Okay, it says, Hi, Jennifer, I'm in a conference right now. So now only a Jennifer could respond, uh, if you They targeted Jennifer. They knew that that was her cell phone number. Oh oh yeah, it's your phone.

So here's the thing. I don't know if the scale this can't be real because that says he's a real life example. But they showed Jennifer's phone number. It shows a screenshot. Hi, Bob, this is Jennifer blah blah blah. Of course that our last name. You may haven't been mistaken for another Jennifer you are trying to reach. Thanks here, Yes, I have an urgent task for you. Are you available? And she wrote back happy to help Bob, And You're like, okay,

thanks for your response, I'm on a conference. You confirm if you can get Apple gift cards from the nere A store. To you, what the fuck exactly that that really happened. Bob has a personal assistant who she'd be the only person he would ask to go get gift cards. He wouldn't randomly emailed people in the company who have no like, there's no reason. Let's at the stage. There's nine fifty I art media stations around the country have

people working him and Jennifer. He randomly texted wherever she is. You know, Bob is in New York. She's in like Clean, Texas. Let's say getting this on a plane. I'm coming randomly the CEO randomly in the conference. I'm gonna randomly take any one of our employees because I need them to do right. And so first she goes, I didn't get them the wrong Jennifer. He's like, no, I got the

right Jennifer. He's like, okay. So whatever instinct she had to think she was the wrong, Jennifer suddenly went away. The minute went not get through Jennifer. She's like, oh, how did I help? I think she probably told her friends. The CEO texted me exactly, how does he even know who I am? I don't guy to get him these

gift cards. This is my chance. I'm going to place exactly if I if I come through in the clutch for Bob, who, by the way, it is in a meeting right now and he can't get he can't go to the store himself, because because the CEO of our company would actually go to a storm by gift cards himself. And I know you can buy them online? Do I know? You can? I know? But she's got to be like, oh my god, he must have heard an air check with me on the radio and two in the morning

in Iowa. The scenario is preposterous. It's just it doesn't make sense for for us. I got. I got a d M from someone I had put. I had posted about my friend being on television, so unrelated to her response, Hey, I'm a big fan, send me your cash app tag. I want to send your money. I'm a fan. Is that I don't know? So obviously a scam. It's from a middle aged woman with blonde hair who doesn't follow me or anyone I know. Has one post or zero posts?

Three posts? Three? The big thing? Ya's have the three? Always have three posts. Instagram has been around two thousand eleven. You just getting on now go funk yourself, scambo. Well now you have a people I am. I'm doing people. I get. But she's a scam, you know what? And and so so meat loaf died right last week, so we posted meat Loaf died, and again we got those like, oh uh, I want to thank you, know, Margie, because

of horror. I make five dllars a week and go work from home, so you know I blocked them my report than whatever. But this is a death post. Can you please not? Can? I want to play you this because this was my I want to play my voicemail I got today. I looked it up immediately. By the way, because it's a scam bony here, listen to this god, this freaking thing servicing. Could you give me a call back when you receive this message at LA LA Right, I'm just giving you a call in regards to your

student loans. Um, we are starting creating roment for all loans for given files and possible loan discharge files. It's going to be a bit more challenging as that, of course, so we don't want anyone status to change, especially for these programs, right, Brodie. Yeah, So we went to Brooklyn College and by the way, it was very I mean, you know, you know, we we had some loans to pay, but you still paying those off there? Brodie. Yeah, it's student loan time and uh so I guess they're randomly

you know whatever. Plus I gotta be honest with you. I have two kids in college, so I have co signed some student loans. It's not far fetched. But this is a company. You look it up. It's a scam. But they tell you like, oh, we're gonna we we have those programs that you need to don't call sport, it's too late, debt loan forgiveness. It's the consolidation company, the Fanny Yeah, yeah, Freddie mcin Fannie Mane. Hey, give us a call now. Now's a great time to call. Hey,

thanks so much. It's a great time to call. Yeah. And here's another scam. Listen to this one here, hold on real quick assistance. Okay, so Chelsea, right, listen, I gotta play the beginning. Listen to it how it starts and then starts again. Help assistance with student help Assistance. My phone number is so the message starts with half a message because it must have been playing while my voicemail message was playing on my phone. And then it starts again, so it's made to sound like it's a

live thing. But I just heard the end of one in the beginning of the next. Yeah, alright, well hitting that button now because you hit it early. I didn't. No, I didn't. OKAYASTI trying to catch me off my game here not. I do have some texts that came into the Morning Show I wanted to read I have a second to do that. Yeah, let's do it. Okay. So they start off, uh, well, there's a bunch of different

angles here. One of them wrote, Friday is my wife and eyes anniversary and eyes like so just grammar police, it should be my wife and my because you'd say it's my anniversary. It's my wife and my anniversary. But eyes, that's not a thing. Um so um. We did a conversation on the Morning show Today's what Thursday on yesterday I think it was yesterday, and we were talking about um in vitro fertilization, I think, sperm donor, sperm donning,

donating sperm and naturally it's a serious conversation. But you're gonna joke about sperm donations because we're all trying to be entertaining and funny and world dopey. Yeah, well we're we're we're children, all right, And now we weren't. We weren't joking about in vitro because that's important and that's how some people start families and it's a miracle for

some people. No joke there. We were making jokes about other things and a woman called up and she actually had gotten a sperm donor and we were joking around with her and she was joking and whatever. So somebody texted in. I'm pretty sure it was a woman, uh from from other things. She had texted in and she saw him to say. She said, that's offensive. I'm offended. Uh, that's terrible that you joked about that woman in her

in vitro. So I wrote back, Um, we weren't joking about her process, and the woman on the air was laughing. She thought it was funny. We weren't trying to be offensive. She wasn't offended, so you know, don't, don't you know? So she wrote back, you can't tell people what is or isn't offensive. So I wrote back, well, you just did exactly right. So she's saying, well, you just did it was offensive. So I said, well it's not offensive, and she goes, you can't tell me what what is

it is offensive? Ago, you just told us what's offensive exactly, So you pretty much just answered your own question, right. She didn't write I'm offended. She wrote back, that's offensive. Well, yes to you. You're offended by it? Yeah right, okay's um speaking of offended, Elvis is doing commercials for a food company, and I guess they highlighted different food every week. So in the new commercial, because I don't remember the client, the new commercial says, um, hey and check out our

new meat loaf. It's tender and juicy and whatever. So a couple of days ago, somebody texted in the quick Oh it's I'm not gonna send the name of the company. The meat loaf commercial you played is insensitive. Um it says there's a new meat loafing. Elvis says there's a new meat loaf in town, and he just passed away. Oh my god, So Elvis can't talk about meat loaf. No, he cannot. What's the weather forecast? Scary? Oh, I see snow. We got snowflakes in the studio in my apartment. Now

coming in out of the ceiling. Here comes the snow. You fucking snowflakes. I cannot stand triggered snowflakes. So here's another one we got today, Really, question Mark, that was a horrible commercial. A new meat loaf in town? Too soon? Elvis too soon, too soon. So here's what I'm thinking. Nobody played poker because you might get a full house, and that's offensive to Bob Saget. So don't talk about talking about So don't have an apple brown betty for

dessert because that might remind you. And she just died and that's offensive. And also, don't play don't play John Madden football because well, you know John Madden. Don't say don't say that's a good match or go on match dot com because that reminds people a match game. And Louis Anderson just died and he was the host. That's offensive. Jesus, you can't do a commercial about meat love. And by the way, he wrote meat loaf just died and spelled it as one word lower case. Meat loaf was two words,

both capital letters. He was meat loaf. So anyway, yeah, she's offended by the commercial because we're selling meat loaf coincidentally, and meat loaf died and it was a coincidence. It's a coincidence. Oh my god, we didn't he didn't create that, you know, they didn't say, you know what, meat loaf died. Let's put meat loaf on special, right, let's let's sell meat loaf. And I got one more person who was

obviously triggered, and I wanted. I wanted to read this because you know how I often talk in such a good mood until this. I'm sorry, I can't stand people like this. What's wrong with society? Well? Okay, well this person tell him joke. Even this person told me what that I'm I'm what's wrong with society? They weren't even joking. I want to point out before I read this that

I have the utmost respect for skilled labor. Okay, I am jealous because I'm going to talk about a plumber at some point, but I want to talk about electricians because they do dangerous work. They do work you should probably not try to do by yourself. And I don't have a problem paying them a large hourly rate. I'm not crazy hourly rate, but they deserve to make a

decent living. They do a good living. Okay, However, some electricians, and not only I don't want to single electricians, Some people who do trade professionally will charge you a hundred and fifty dollars to enter your house, whether you hire them or not. Some of them will then apply that hundred towards the repair, which is fine, but some of them will not. They'll say, if you hire me, it's a hundred plus the first hour, and if you don't hire me, it's a hundred twenty five dollars. So you

almost obligated to hire them. So I look, if you like that, if that's if your guy does that, your woman does that, that's fine. I'm not I don't have the financial means to pay a hundred dollars for nothing if I don't use them. Right, if they come to my house and say that job is gonna be two thousand dollars and I don't have the two thousand dollars, I'm now out the d right. So by not being rich,

I'm out more money. So on my town Facebook page, I posted and the people are usually very very helpful, and they were. I said, I'm looking for a licensed electrician that you have personally used, that doesn't charge a hundred dollars or more just to walk in the door. I feel like you set the parameters rather clearly, right, So a bunch of people, one guy wrote, all people charge a fee to walk in, but some will apply

it to the work. I know that, but not they don't all because I had an electrician in my house a couple of weeks ago, and he didn't charge me for come in. He charged me. People speak in absolutes or by their own experience. These are the experiences I've had, so it must be everybody, right, everybody so university. This guy came to my house, he charged me eighty nine and he only charged me eighty nine dollars for the

one hour at diet. But then he fell off a ladder last week and he's he's he can't work for he said, three weeks, so I can't use him, and I need an electrician this week. So a bunch of people gave me the names of people they recommended who don't who They said, don't charge your fee, and they're very happy they're working with. Here's what one guy wrote, scary, I you may want to have my music ready for this.

So again I asked for help. I asked for specific help, and I don't want opinions, I just want help, he wrote. You need to recognize that these people are entrepreneurs. They don't have a nine to five job and get paid regardless of how productive they were that day. With a normal salary. They would go broke driving around doing free inspections and not get paid. This type of mentality needs to change. You're taking a stand on your post, right,

F you? Ray? F you? So basically what I wrote back to him was, you know who else needs to to earn? Earn money and be careful with the money these days? Me and other homeowners. I'm entitled to want to save money. Now, the the tradesmen and women who charge that fee, God bless you. If if you, if you make money and you have a big house, I want you to make money. But if I have options and there are people that don't charge that fee, I would prefer to go with them because the job I

have is a small job. If I had a five thousand dollar rewiring of my house, I would pay for the best guy or woman, And if it costs me a hundred dollars to get that best person, I would do it because over five thousand is not a big deal. But if I need a small hundred dollar job, right and I have to pay a hundred to pay the hundred, that seems silly. What I don't need? Ray? Ray? Is you telling me? So? I went back to Ray. My first thing was, Hey, Ray, I have an idea that's great,

that's morally wonderful. You can pay my hundred dollar fee and then I'll hire whoever you recommend. How about that, Ray, I guess Ray makes enough money. Ray didn't spy the way. Ray didn't say he was a tradesman. He didn't say I am a tradesman. He said, you have to This mentality needs to change. Really, really, I gotta worry about most Most tradesmen make more than me, and God bless them, they should. They have a skill. Skill. I talk out my ask for a living. I would love to have

a skill. Believe me that I could do things, fix things I have. I have transmitted my family. You Ray, fuck you. It's a shame about Ray type of no. Look again, if you're listening to what you're a tradesman, God bless you. What other people like it? Well? No, well uh, nobody responded to him. Everybody else recommended, and no one question me. They're all like, yeah, this guy's great.

Doesn't charge your fee. I totally understand. Again, if it was a huge job, I would pay the fee in a huge but but but again, if the guy did fall off the ladder, I was very happy with the guy who came. He did a great job, but something else in my house needed to be repaired. I guess the cold weather or something. Whatever the case is, something something small needs to be repaired. Pretty soon. Your blood pressure will have to be repaired. Yeah, it's funked up.

It's funked up, man. Yeah. So so then, oh and somebody else rope back, Oh you should use Mike blah blah blah. So I already know Mike is one of the people I called. Mike wanted to charge me a hundred and seventy five dollars just to come in my house. So I wrote back, have you used Mike? And he didn't charge you a fee? So you're up back. No, I've never used Mike. Hear good things. My post specifically said that you have used personally. Again, I but you

know what, I understand I shouldn't ask for help. But you know what, eight out of ten people give me great advice. So I called one of the recommendations. The guy came today. The guy came to my house and he says, listen, it's one of you know. The first hour is a hundred and seven dollars plus the hourly rate. But after that it's just the holy rate, but it's

a free estimate. He came to the house, he looked around, he said, and if we come back to the house and we can't fix the problem, you don't pay it. You don't pay for it. If we come and do the inspection and we feel it's too big for you to do it's more than you want to spend, we won't charge you. That's a good company. And their reviews are off the charts, great reviews on every review site. All the people on Facebook love them. That's a great company.

That's a company that you go, you know what, I will trust them to come in my house because if they don't do a good job and they don't fix it right, they go, oh, we can't find the problem without opening up the wall, they're not gonna pay me, charge me unless I want them to open up the wall. That's a that's a class act. So f you ray take a deep breath, breathe, breathe in podcast back and

I love that jingle is one of my favorites. I gotta do some new ones, I think for the I don't know if her breeze is saying, but that's I love that one. Yes, so I want to buy a scooter. Okay, scooter, you know what. You're gonna tell me? What about the scooter thing in a minute. But you mentioned something on the Monday fifteen minute Morning Show. Well you said I've never ridden a skateboard. You said you never wrote a skateboard.

You can't. I mean I've attempted when I was a kid, and I never got past a couple of pushes, pushes, and then I tried to lift both my feet off the ground to put on the board. I didn't last more than you can't do seconds. I used to. I used to skateboard. But when I say skateboard, I mean like I I would skateboard up and down the block I lived on. But I didn't do anything other than go straight, like I get occasional like it left the front and then like turn like and and it tilted.

You could turn back, but I could like lift the front foot up and put it back down and like make left and rights. But I couldn't do a lot. And I don't skateboard now really, But I remember you on this scooter, the scooter you got client, that was a really cool scooter. Well that's the one that is up for sale right now. I don't. I don't know why you still have it because I'm staring able scooter,

staring it. Oh oh my god, it's so yeah. It is a very it's very well built, and it's it's actually very high end because you stood on it and it didn't look like you wobbled, like it was stirred. It has amazing It has real suspension. It has like suspension that you're getting like a motorcycle. This is not a commercial, by the way, No, no, no, no, we're not trying to sell um. But I I don't know the first place to sell it because you know, you

put list, Facebook and eBay. Okay, here's the problem with the three. First of all, Craigslist seems logical. But then you got weirdos showing up to your house. And I don't need people coming to my apartment. I don't you have a dorman apartment. You could meet them in a doormanned lobby in public, and this way you're safe. So you talked to them on the phone. First, you talked to them on the phone, you go, hey, I want to buy your scooter. You know. Then then sling Blade

doesn't come to your house to buy the scooter. I've never sold any you know, I've never sold anything on Craigslist like that ever, like a face to face transaction, and I have many times, and I would say one out of a hundred knows like recognizes me when they get there. But most of the time it's just people. But what if the guy, here's what I think, somebody's gonna jump on the scooter and just screwed away with

it and not paying me my money. See, that's the kind of ship that I that goes through my head. But it actually it's no, you get the money first. I sold a mattress and a box spring last week. So we are scooter we're talking about. This isn't just VA Yeah, pretty much. So I I sold a mattress in a box spring, no, no backstory needed, but it was. It was used lightly. It was in a guest bedroom

and we didn't need it anymore. We would change in the room over and I thought, you know what, I don't want to throw it out because there are people in the world that could really use a nice pillow top, plush mattress that we had always had a mattress cover on. So really nobody slept on the mattress and in a sheet on top of the mattress cover. And you know what, if I put it up for sale and somebody wants to buy it, I'm not going to question their needs,

their financial status. If I could do good, it's better than throwing it out, if I could make So I put it up for and the mattress was like fos. Maybe it was asserta it was really nice when when it was purchased and Simmons asserta it was asserta. I just so. Uh. So the person calls me and says, oh, I want to come. My father is gonna bring a truck and we're gonna help you. And and he's gonna

help me. He's gotta pick up truck. And yeah, I said, great, text me when you're when you're twenty minutes away from my house, I give it the address and I say, it's such and such on this street and it's down on this side of the street, and with the color of my house. Idiot proof, right, idiot proof directions that I copy and paste whenever someone buy something for me.

So uh when I knew they were twenty minutes away, I took the box spring and mattress from the garage because I had moved it down to the garage and I put it on my driveway leaning up against my driveway door, one of my driveway doors, right actually in the middle of the two and the headboard. They wanted the headboard also, which the headboard was from my childhood bedroom. That's how old the headboard was. It was like a dark brown old headboard from when I was a kid.

So the headboard, the mattress in the box bring leaning against my house on the driveway. Now, I don't have a very long driveway. It's two cars long, right, so you call it, yes, that's right. I could. I could ask my own driveway, so you could fit four cars on the driveway right front back, front back, so it's not like I have like a long driveaway. You couldn't see the house. So they drive. I look out the window.

They drive by the house and they text me and I live on a dead end street, so there's only so far on the street they could go. They went past my house, so I said, she goes, we we don't see your house. I said, I told you the number, your four houses past it. I told you the color. You're in front of the house of a different color, and more importantly, there's a mattress box springing headboard on my driveway standing up against the house. Yeah, it's not

it's process of elimination here. So she will you eliminate all the houses that don't have a mattress box springing headboard in front of it and with my number on it, which you can clearly see from the street. So she she texts back, she goes, oh, I see it now. Yeah, it's the house, it's the color, it's the only Yeah. But you see, you're going you go through these these trials and tribulations with these people. I don't want that

kind of hassle. I don't know, but you know, and I can't do eBay by the way, because people are like, oh, because the shipping fees. I mean, it's so freaking now you do local pickup only this way you get a verified person picking it up and then the Facebook group I've never tried. Oh yeah, well that's why you had to me sell that blender for you. Ye. Well, anyway, which I did. I have a small apartment and it's

getting cluttered by the day, like I gotta stop. And I've lived here for like close to fifteen years now, and I'm just seeing, I'm seeing. I feel like I'm being closed in on. I don't want to be ever be a hoarder. I do throw things away when it's time. Yeah,

I have some sentimental belongings. But I just I see a lot of stuff, a lot of stuff around my apartment that just gets you know, is being collected, and I just can't wrap my head around ever moving out of here and having to pack ale this stuff up. So I need to keep like a just a certain amount of things in my house and I can't go above that number. Is I know, it's bizarre. It is bizarre. Look, you're very neat. Did we talk about this on air

or not? I don't remember. But your closet, you have your we did talk about this, You have your clothes, all space to hanger, space to part evenly like you're so anal about your a couple of weeks ago. Yeah yeah, so like I know you're a need freak. You have a listen, you make a decent living. You do okay, not like Electrician money, but you you do okay. And again I love electricians joking, uh, but I don't understand.

I know you like it's convenient like the location. You have a one bedroom apartment, right, you could easily, even if you don't really want to move, move into the two bedroom. Yeah, and and make an office for yourself or a game room. You you're not planning on having kids, right, so you don't need a big house, and you don't want to fix things. You're not a fixer, So you could move into a townhouse where people they fix things for you. They take care of your law on your

little lawn in the front. You can have a grill in the back if you wanted you I could see it as a townhouse. Guys like yeah, because it's like an apartment, but it's big and spacious. You can have people over, you know, you could have you have you have a driveway, you could write, you could go right for you could motion in your own house. You can go right from the car and right into your garage,

right into your house. You you do all right? You won that lawsuit when they put a building in front of your building and blocked your view, right, like, you could move into I'm telling you you, but I would make the townhouse year for Scary Jones. I would get a townhouse if I were you. You know why I have this guy have his I have his defeats to attitude. Dude. I was talking to my buddy Will about this and that is I because I'm here and I'm settled. I have a fear of moving because I don't want to

pack things up. All I could think about a guy. All I could think about is having to pack up this entire apartment. And I'm like, oh my god, it's it's it's so much work, it's so much energy. If you don't care about money, and then will pack everything for you. And now they'll pack my my personal belongings. Yeah, or yes, or you know what you can do? Because my my mom moved to Jersey. I I hired someone that someone else had worked with. It was a woman

who did for extra money. She would come to your house and she had worked with older people before, so I and I checked out her references and someone else had hired her, they knew her. She came to the house and helped my mom when I wasn't there pre pack. Wow, like sat with her and said, Okay, what what on your table do you want to pack? What in your night table do you want to pack? What in your you know, like, what dishes. Do you want to pack?

But I also have loads loads of electronic equipment here right, and and if they're all like the spaghetti spaghetti of wires back there behind night, then you hire a guy or a woman to come to your house and you sit there and watch them do it, and you said this way, and or you hire the movers with insurance, and I feel bad. I'm not that that I'm not helping them out. Why you go to a restaurant, do you feel bad that the guys are bringing food to your table? A cook? And I would feel all I

feel weird. I'm sitting here on my couch on the phone, dicking around doing the podcast, and there's there's someone in there with, you know, hanging out in my my Credenzita like loading CDs up, and I feel like I want to pitch in the way. Isn't Credenza the name of your other co host? Last name? She's packed up? She's she's packed at brack is packed. But you could be like hanging up your shirts or something. Hello, uh is she? But now here's the question. Is she spyramid rhino worthy? Oh?

Absolutely yes, shows a beautiful woman and talented. I have to say bright. Oh my god, yea intelligent and a good mom too, tremendous um yeah so so I whatever. But but anyway, that is my beauty to move that should be your goal. That's my biggest pain point is is this apartment it's that? Was it Joe's apartment? Or this old house? That's me? Can I ask you a personal question? Oh no, no, You're gonna change the topic

because I because I feel like there's other reasons. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no, no, no no, there's nothing else keeping me back. I just a question. I just no, I just I just don't want the other The other problem that I have is I don't want to move to the suburbs. Okay, so suburbs there a town homes the nearly where you live. I'm a city guy. I need to be where I am. This is a perfect lotion spot. So then get a bigger department in your building.

If I moved it, that that's a lateral move to me. I need to make I need to move out out, like I need to get out of this building. Okay, the end of this neighborhood. Well, I just said that, you said no, But that's a problem. Because because I I feel like I need to be in this neighborhood though or I don't know. I'm all kinds of like to. But you're not in this neighborhood. You have ten minutes away from the neighborood you want to be in, and

you drive, you drive to the other neighborhood. So I want to do I want to one week, I want to redo my bathroom. We've talked about that. Yeah, I don't really do the bathroom slices. I need you to tweet Scary Tom, it's townhouse time, townhouse time, townhouse time to a parody for you know, it's Scary needs to move out and get another floor for him. I don't want them staircase time. I don't want the staircase. I

don't want to break in my ship. You know people who have a Staircase's tweet Scary let him know he needs a staircase, a staircase. Don't you said I got a room but for Christmas? And then you have one room. You have the one room. It takes, it takes, it takes about thirty minutes to like the whole fucking place, and and and it's like it bumps into things wherever it goes. It doesn't do a great job because you make a room by mini for you. They should like

a hockey puck size because it's so clutter. It goes around my apartment so cluttered. Oh my god, you should see the floor. The floor space in my bedroom is not exist. You have a kitchen, I have a thinning room combo, and you have two doors, and I have a thin once a bathroom, once in bedroom and you're right, that's three. And the balcony door that a fat man can't walk on, that's right. And then thin quart a

scary cannot go outside. And a thin strip, a thin strip from my room to why the way think in a thin strips? How's And I'm not gonna say, hey, how thinking it's speaking of thin? Your your first quart of scary right now? Losing weight? How's that going pounds? And how long? How long day? And we'll just call it my January detox because we don't want to hit the jingle. All right, Well, you do want to hit

the jingle because to you it's worth it. I understand that somebody texted in today and said, what kind of diet is scary? On? Can you explain it? So I sent him the website of the doctor the Doctor guy that you work with Dr Fat Loss. You fuck hit the jingle hit it to Scary. You're a double bitch because you said you didn't want to do it and you did it anyway. Well you said doctor the first And by the way, when when when we asked you if he was a doctor on the big show, you said,

what was the word you used? I said, uh, not a doctor per se per se per se. Yeah, it's like Dr K like a pictures like the like the Dr K on the met said Dwight Gooden, he's a big strike up picture and he was like he wasn't really a doctor called called him a doctor, right, Oh my god. Yeah. Okay, take a deep, deep breath. Okay, can I can I talk to you about how times have changed? Yeah? Right after this, Okay, good his podcast

with Scary Now Scary. You're familiar with who Dick Vandyke is, right, Van Dyke if you're not familiar, was in his nineties. Now he's been in movies since as long as all of us are alive. Uh, he was, I mean he was in Mary Poppins. He's one of the few people still alive from that movie. Other than the kids and God bless him, he's been a night in the museum

and he's been in a thousands of movies. But also in the fifties, in the late fifties, he had a show called Believe It or Not, The Dick Vandyke Show, Oh My God, Brodie, are you sorry? Mary? Mary Tyler More, Mary Tyler Moore And if you watched one division on the Disney Plus the first few episodes were the first episode or two were based on spoofing the Dick Vandyke Show Black and White Show where he was a comedy writer for a variety show and he came home to

his his wife Mary Tyler Moore to be beautiful. Also legendary comedian, comic actress who went on a woman's Liberation woman. Uh, did a lot of groundbreaking roles. Anyway, Dick Vandyke's a legend. That show is an all time classic. That changed this that that Mary tell a More show later in the seventies. You have broke a lot of ground for women, is what I think. Yes, yes, it was. It was a game changer. So about two months ago, maybe a couple of months ago, they colorized an episode of The Dick

Vandyke Show. It may have been a couple episodes. And as you as you say this, by the way, it's funny that you say this, because Saturday night I watched my very first episode of the Dick Van Dyke Show. I know, I knew about it, I knew of his exist distance, but I was just doing absolutely nothing. I'm like, you know what, and I want an episode came on me TV, which is one of the cable channels, and I was like, like you said, caveman channels. And I

watched this. I watched a full episode. I've never seen a complete episode. I've seen snippets, I've never seen a full episode. So I watched the whole thing. I laughed my ass off and and I talked about it today in the in the what we were doing commercials, but you weren't. You weren't in the room. I'm not in the zoom room on the air, on the air, right.

So it's just so funny you bring up Dick Van Dyke, right, Dick Van Dyke, very funny show, even for now, like some of the most of the humor translates his physical comedy is Pratt falls all worth watching? If you want an old school show is I want to say, Dick Vandyke was way before my time, before you got any ideas. But I grew up when it was on reruns and I watched it, and as a lover of comedy, it's classic.

So to watch it colorized when you only know it in black and white, you only know that living room in black and white, you only know their outfits in black and white. So my memories of those episodes, when you watch it in color, you assume they knew the colors. They must have spoken as someone on the show and said what like or tried to get close, but they did the shading. I mean, the technology now to colorized

programs is unbelievable. So I watched this special Dick Van Dyke episode and one of the episodes they played was Mary is pregnant and she's about to need to go to the hospital. So the whole episode is himp parano, every noise. He's like, let's go to hospital. The bagg is pat He's ready to go. So she finally convinces him to go to work. I'm fine. Rob, his name is Rob Petrie in the show, Please go to work. You're going you're going crazy, you're sleeping in the same clothes,

You're you're you're tired, you're agitated. Go to work. So he goes to work finally, and he hasn't slept in days, and he gets the call that uh, she's ready to have the baby after many false alarms, and so he you know, he runs out without pants on. It's a long story, and he rushes home and so, um, he calls for a cab on his on his way out of the office. You don't have cell phone. They call

for a cab to get to the house. So in case God forbid, he has a car accident or something happens on the way home, Mary will have a way to get to the hospital. Okay, So on his way home, the cab is on his way to the house, the cab driver knocks on the door where the wife Mary her name is Mary on the show, and uh she says, oh, I didn't call a cab. My husband must have called you.

He should be home any minute, and she says, can you wait outside right, So, not knowing when the husband is home, she tells a cab driver, who by the way, gets paid by the minute. Right when the need is running this is an uber. He says, no problem, I'll be out in my car. Take your time. What what the guy's gonna sit there and definitely while he waits. Okay. So then a couple of minutes later, you hear a car flying down the street off camera and you heard crash.

Dick Van Dyke crashed into the back of the cab, pushing the cab into the back of the car in front of it. Okay, he rushes in the house right and the cab driver comes in and says, um, you're not gonna be able to leave. I can't drive you to the hospital because all of our cars are locked together by fenders. So Rob's car, Dick Vandyke's car has locked into the cab driver's fender and pushed his car into all the car in front of him, and now all three cause a lock together. The guy says, So

I'm not gonna be able to drive you. He says, but if you want, I can call my company and have him send another car right away. Not a problem. So, first of all, he just wrecked the guy's cab. The cab is now trapped between two other cars, and the guy who said he's willing to wait says, no problem, I'll call him a cab company. Haven't send another car. So not only that the car the camp company after having their their cab demolished. Right, it's gonna go, I

will send another car. Not a problem. Right in what world does that happen today? In black and white sitcoms? So the guys willing to wait outside and he's like, oh, you just crashed my car. He doesn't come in and go you motherfucker you because it's that real life. When was it every? When were these shows ever real life? There? I don't know. I wasn't alive in the fifties, So I can't tell you if if small town because they live in New Rochelle, which is um about an hour

northeast of Manhattan. Take the train strouss Chester County. It's a suburban. It's it's it's where Uh it's uh were scary, would never want to live stop it. I've been the Newer show before. You don't live in suburbs. I beautiful neighborhood. It's very city like in New ro show. Yeah, so you think that's it. No, No, the laundry guy comes because this is back in the day when you send your laundry out and the laundry truck would come in

and pick up your laundry. He walks in and they say, hey, uh, can you drive us to the hospital because she's about to have a baby, and uh he says, uh yeah, I'll drive you in the laundry truck, no problem. And the cab driver says, yeah, go ahead, don't worry about my cab. Go ahead and have a baby. I'll be fine. So the cab drivers like, oh, I don't know now my company doesn't have my company. I'm still I'm trying to dig into this here and understand what what is

it that you're flabbergasted about. I'm flabbergasted that the cab driver wasn't upset that his car got crashed. He wasn't upset to it outside. And then when they when he sends another car to come pick them up, right, the laundry guy says, I'll drive you to the hospital, no problem in his laundry truck. When people are waiting for their laundry, He's like that, funk, I'll drive This is

what the audience does. It's called the suspension of disbelief. Yes, And then the cam driver goes don't you worry about me? Mr and Mrs. You're not You're not going to have that baby. Of course. Well, because we once we get into a show or a movie or whatever we are, we are able to just immerse ourselves into it and just suspend the imagined or not. You can't take everything literally. Imagine imagine watching Curb your Enthusiasm or any other show.

You imagine the cam driving on What the fuck? Now, you're not gonna use my cam company? Just gonna leave? Now, I got I lose my fan. Okay, let me let me ask you this is it plausible? Though? Then maybe the cab driver felt felt for Mary because oh my god, she's about to have a baby. Let's really let's really postpone this and put this, uh, you know, deal with this after you go to the hospital. Let's get you

to the hospital. I mean, maybe some people in real life might actually respond that way and not worry so much about the car. Maybe because the cab driver doesn't own the car, the cab company does, so what But it was like he had no care. He was the happiest man on the planet. Oh yeah, the cars. I've seen examples of the that weirdness in shows where it's like, come on, they wouldn't respond that way modern day shows, really I have, I have seen that, but maybe on

full House. Oh sorry, I can't talk about full House. Too soon, too soon, Bertie, too soon, berdie. Oh my god, Oh my god. Another deep breath. I got a lot of deep breaths. All right, what are you doing? What are you doing this weekend? By the way, did you see this? You see this, this cop out of a weather forecast around here. Oh? Yeah, the latest was twenty or zero that no, no, I want to highlight that.

I know we don't really talk about weather on this podcast, which you're listening to anywhere USA at any time in the future. But but the forecast was this morning. They said, oh, this this northeaster or this cyclone bomb as they call it, bomb cycle, the bomb cyclone, whatever is it goes, is gonna go in a zig zag pattern. So it's all I could picture is this bomb cyclone like going zigzag, zig zag, zigzag. And then they say, so, we don't know if we're gonna get twenty inches or zero, but

it's probably not gonna be anywhere in between. It's gonna We're either gonna get dumped on or not even a Tracey snow and and that is the forecast for the Tri state area right now. And I've never heard such a forecast. Well this morning, this morning, the forecast during the show, which Elvis talked about I believe he said, uh, it could be four to twelve inches was the report as of this morning. Do you know how many people texted in yeah, story of my life. They promise you

eight to twelve and you get four inches. Oh they're doing a dick joke. Yeah, yeah, But and the types in this text in this dick joke, you're like, yeah, don't you just hate when they promise you if you think you're gonna get eight inches and you want to get four because said I bought your dinner. Stop measuring. When they're when they're listening in their car, they have to think they're the only one because they they're just they're just like, you know what, I'm gonna text in

this funny joke. They're not thinking or caring if other people are texting in the same It's fine. I like, I love the humor. I just I was amazed by how many people all texted in the same dick joke. Can I can I get serious for a second. Just it's unlike me to get serious serious earlier on. I

mean when did I get serious? Oh no, no, no, before when we're talking about you're forgotten, oh your bachelor, your Bachelorrette party, birthday with the strippers, the belly dancers, and by the way, can I just say, I don't want to offend, but one of I think one of the belly dancers at your party many years ago may have been a last minute fill in. Yeah, that's the one thing I left out. Yeah. I got the feeling like, which one of these things is not like the other?

She didn't she didn't really fit the outfit and she didn't really belly. She kind of I mean, she just wasn't good. I think she was like, you know, Mary, I need you to fill inform Oh, Raven, Hey, Raven, we put down your phone from texting that guy you met at Raven's cocktail party, Raven, I need you to come and fill in at the last minute. I don't think she was a professional. The other two are, but there was one there that do you remember what I'm

talking about? Yeah, okay, so you're getting serious for a minute. I want to talk about my friend Billy, if I can just for a second, Oh, absolutely sure. Billy Uh Billy Uh Staples. He that was his radio name because he had staple surgery because he was very overweight. He looked like Chris Farley and he had stomach stapling surgery. And he was on the radio a couple of programs in New York. He was on Open Anthony and Ron and Fez. If you know who those people are. He's

a good friend of mine. And Uh. He had staple surgery and and it didn't work. He kept eating and he popped his own staples. So they called him Billy Stables and he laughed at himself and whatever. Billy was instrumental. Uh. We met early in my writing career. He got me into his improv group, which uh spearheaded me into writing with for Jay Leno. We both started writing for Jay

Leno at the same time. And I made a lot of connections because of Billy, and I owe a lot of my success, a decent amount of my opportunities to opportunities that we did together. We were we we toured comedy clubs and colleges as part of an improv group. Anyway,

I know Billy for many many years. In fact, if you go on my at David Brodie Instagram account, one of my pictures from a few pictures ago is a picture of me and my comedy group from so if you want to see what I looked like, which is I know, a long time ago group, the Comedy Express. It was actually the Online Comedy Express because back in the day we formed the year the Internet formed, and a bunch of people met each other through the Internet as comedians in my group, and so being online was

a big deal. So we were the Online Comedy Express and we dropped online and became the Comedy Express when online became like, come on, man, we have the Internet for five years now, but we we started around the same time the Internet became popular. Joined Anyway, Billy is a great guy. But Billy Um is no longer in radio. He's he's been on TV shows. He's think he was on Chicago Police, a p D one of them. Recently he's been on some law and orders. He does acting

in this comedy. Anyway, about three weeks ago he had um a heart attack and COVID nineteen at the same time. Unrelated, just he happened to get sick while he was he had a heart attack and I think he got COVID while he was not well, don't know, whatever the case. So he wasn't doing very well and he's still not doing very well. And the heart attack was serious and so um he he his friends and his his his partner woman, his partner, uh formed they go fund me for him, which I put a link up to. And

I don't. I don't normally, I don't ever ask for money or favors or whatever, and I don't. You know, I'm just letting you know, if nothing else, and you want to see what I look like, check out the picture. Billy is the Chris Folly looking guy in the middle. And uh, he's in bad shape right now. He can't walk at work, and he doesn't have medical benefits like I do, and he doesn't have so he's paying for

everything on his own and he's in bad shape. And this is a funny, good natured, caring person who is very good to me, and he's a he's you know, I'm here doing comedy because he believed in me and we work together and he made me believe in myself and he's a great guy. So anyway, if nothing else, if you want to see a picture of me from when we were all trying to be cast members of friends and I had a vest on like I was Chandler. Go check out the black and white photo, which we

have yet to colorize, and check that out. And there's a link in my bio. As the old expression says, uh to to the go fund me. If you're just did anyway, that's it. No more thank you for that. No not oh come on please, I mean give me a break. This is what we do here and that and and uh no, I did want to say that. Uh how is his health itself? I know he's bad shape financially, but is he improving? Is he he's gotten a little better, but he's still he's still he's very weak.

And you know, he had a heart attack. So he's gonna he's gonna make it through. Yes, yes, he's gonna make it through. But he has mounting bills and he has to go for a follow up heart surgery, you know, and they have to put a stent in or or something like the last thing he needs. His anxiety and so you look, if you're looking to help a funny man out, who's a good man, who's devoted his life to making people laugh. Uh, this is this is a guy.

So um, all right, So we didn't collect enough voicemail for for the for a segment, because you know, we have a phone number now two one eight. F you ape seventy seven, that's a few ape seventy seven. But leave a voicemail when you can, and then maybe on our next podcast when we get enough of them, we'll we'll play them back for you. And if you do not hear your voicemail, it's probably because your phone quality

was was garbage. You didn't realize it at the time, but it was a bad connection or whatever the case. So we have had a slew of these that didn't air because people were like, what did you air? Mind like, and some people just said hello, I didn't really leave a point. We want to, we want to want to really kind of play the funny ones. We don't want to, you know, just well, I I appreciate it when you guys said, oh, you guys are the best. That's great. I'll never I'll never get old and it keeps me,

but give us a little content. Somebody did d M and I don't want to call them out because I don't I don't want to single them out for this, but they were tongue in cheek, but they said they left a voicemail that was slightly critical of you, not insulting, but they took my side in something and they were concerned you didn't air it because they were saying I was right. Now, you wouldn't do that, No, no, but it wouldn't know, but I would uh not air it

if if I couldn't understand who was unintelligible? Uh, maybe leave that message again. I guess I don't know. All right, Um, I do have one more scam I wanted to read and I have I have a quick email, so let's see this really quickly. This is David. This is from David Schwartz. And by the way, tribe, it will be tried. Let's get some emails back in the in the in the mix here you can always emails at the Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail dot com. I feel like people

are starting off slow this year. Uh, David Schwartz. The subject is Sidel's dial. Oh he's definitely tried. So so yeah, so you would agree that you know, David, he know he says he's definitely tried. But I mean, take it from a guy who's tribe, right, he would know and let's see less he's could be adopted. He's tribe can be tribe, and his mother isn't so so so you must agree and believe. No, no, there are some tribe members that you believe. You must believe the things that

he says. Right, So he's not necessarily in this following email. The last few times you guys brought up Sidel's Scary's favorite punch place, I was on scary side. I love dil. It makes me remember my grandma's cooking. It was a

terrible cook in every an on everything she made. Well, by the way, I'll stop right there for a second and say thank you David for being a Jew and for coming to the coming to the you know, to defense to defend, coming to my defense, not only coming to my defense, but coming to the forefront and acknowledging that dil is indeed used in Jewish cooking. It is, despite what Brody will tell you, and it may not be used in all Jewish cooking, but I would imagine,

would you say dill is used in Italian cooking? Not really a rosemary, A lot of rosemary. Okay, So some woman named Rosemary uses dil. I get it isn't your mother's name Rosemary, She's Rose Roseanne. Okay, but either way she's wrong, right, yeah, okay. So what I'm saying is I guarantee as some Italian grandmother that puts dil in her meat balls. So there's always someone who does something. The fact that David's grandmother was a bad cook, that's

not my milk. It was a Jewish tradition people. Dill is used in Jewish cooking period. But fends of it, they don't take a shovel and throw it on cap anyway, Dave, Okay, here comes the part where he agrees with you. So this is where the now he's coming back. You didn't agree with scary, but I'd like to hear a voicemail comes. I took a look at the menu, and I have to yield a point to Brody. It sounds it's it's like Julia, and this is what I got. I'm going

about to shoot Dave down. He says, it sounds like a theme restaurant, and the theme is Jewish food for genteels that gentles gentiles that learned about Jewish food from TV. Yes, thank you hash hashtag pickle palm, hashtag tribe, thank you, thank you love. It's not it is not a theme restaurant. The theme is dill and it is. I'm gonna I'm gonna challenge David the other David David Schwartz. Yeah, there's also no one in Florida now and like Coconut Grove

or Coconut Creek Coral in Miami area. I'm telling you guys, go to Sitdel's if you're in New York or that they're Florida. Don't say it. Eat there. And especially if you're tribe and you're gonna tell me that that is forget about. Close your eyes, eat the food tasted, and and and you can sported to your old Jewish delicacies now Blintzes. The lot is. Everything they do is on fo not gentiles. It's not gentile food. Who people who are I'm sorry, David, I love you, but right I

disagree with you. By the way, for those of you don't know, because you're probably you are a gentile. A gentile is what old world Jews used to refer to non Jews. So anything in the world that you wore not Jewish. You're a gentile. We gotta get out of here. You want something else that you have a scamboni or what you want to you want? We want to save the scamboni. I do want to just read a joke

that I made on Instagram? Did it we were talking about we were talking on a fifty minute morning show about Scotty B was talking about cleaning out his belly button. That is always crapp in your belly button. You never know what you're gonna find in your belly button. So this person Rocketman tech or Seck said d M to me. No, they posted on the on the post on elvistr End morning show Instagram. I have a friend who was morbidly obese, and he told me once when he was taking a shower,

a quarter fell out of his belly button. He had no idea it was there. I mean, how can you not know there's a loose change? Is loose change in your belly button? So I wrote, are you sure it was a quarter? Or was it a quarter pounder? Hio hio. We didn't do that joke on the air, No, it's on it's on Instagram. Hilarious. No, you made in my segment where I do jokes on the air now that one. Yeah, yeah, all right, listen, visit our merch store, Brooklyn Boys to

give out the website. Yeah, it's a Brooklyn Boys dot Big Cartel dot com. That's Brooklyn Boys dot Big Cartel dot com. And we may have we may tease you with another item. We'll talk about it next week. Very exciting, excited. Yes, we're gonna. Oh and we also want to ask your opinion on a on a product for the ladies. That's what I was talking about. Oh oh so much up the same thing, Yes, but were no, no, no, the thing with the thing, the thing. We have more stuff

coming to the merch store ladies. You know, ladies, we need your opinion firsthand, and guys will need your opinion on whether or not how you'd like your ladies to buy or own this particular item. I think we've said enough, have we? So you posted an all time pizza list and none of the pizza places were from Brooklyn. That's bullshitt on. There brought the wrong part of Brooklyn, not all of book