#191: F.U. Cole Slaw!

Podcasts around the world are celebrating. You know, we're huge in Belgium, so Czechoslovakia we've been on those comedy charts for a while, and then Germany we were big. Mongolia sure, the Mongolians. You could call us Mr Worldwide's well, I'm wide, but you could Mrs Worldwide. Sure, whatever you want to call us either way, And happy uh International Podcast Day tonight. While when we post this it's Thursday, so Thursday night, it's still be when you hear it right away to

all of our slices. Uh to you as well, because you support us. You are podcast listeners. You've been here for like four years strong, Oh my god, has it been that long? Some of you before that in the old, in the old off air show days. Holy so you are you were here before two sixteen? We did that this four years, Holy mother, been a long time. This has been quite the road. Well, my Walkers and Talkers podcast, which started I think in TWI sixteen. Maybe we just recorded.

I haven't edited it yet, so it hopefully go up tonight as well. We just did episode one. Well I can't wait. Gonna be Oh, it's gonna be just like one, except with a different number. I think that same votes for this podcast. Yeah, I don't think we have anything special plan for two hundred. We're talking about it, we're talking about it. We don't know, we don't know. Oh my god, I just I just belched up something. Something repeated on me. You don't know what it is. It was,

what did I have today? Even? I had chicken palm? No from where a Scotty be from the Big Show? He brought in chicken palm this morning? He we had a surprise palm. Wait minute, was it like palm from a restaurant or his wife? You know, a restaurant palm? And he goes, because yeah, this this restaurant. They made me an entire tray. And because I'm Scotty b you know from Serial Killers? Oh him, oh you oh great.

So he decided to bring it in and share it with me and and straighten eight this morning on the Big Show. So I'm like eight o'clock, random palm appears. I kind of like it when it's a surprise like that, because you've under you know, I'm not really expecting anything, and then just palm a round. Well, had Scotty let me know, I might have come in today. That would have gotten you. Had you brought harm home, I would

have come to your place to record. How about that, Well you would have you know, you would have gotten off your crusty catch or that. I have new couches now, homie, so they're not they haven't got a chance to be crusty. No. I actually I'm sitting next to the crusty couch in the basement. I think you're the krusty person on the couch. If you watch the Officer and fifteen in the Morning Show podcast, there's been many people who have called you crusty. Well,

then they're idiots. No, they said, they said, what's up with Brody? He looks so bored on the couch. You know? I got an email? Was it board on the couch and I'm in the count I'm on the couch board Yeah, yeah, board in the board in the house and I'm in the house board in the house on the sounds weird. Well, you know, um, in all serious seriousness, and maybe you want to answer this question. A question came to our Brooklyn Boys podcast account. You can always email us at

the Brooklyn Boys Podcast at gmail dot com. Sure, and somebody asked about your get Let's see, was this to get back in the studio? Okay, so that that was something else. It wasn't that last week he taught me. Somebody wants to already studio? No, that was okay, Yeah, that was last week's eat. Get Brodie out of his house? Hashtag crappy WiFi. Um No, there was somebody that was commenting and I can't find it right now about you look so sad on the couch. Say no, I'm not

saying at all. I'm waiting for my chance to jump in. See when we were in the studio doing the fifth Minute Morning Show podcast prior to zoom, you could see everybody, and I'm I'm more apt to jump in a lot because you know, that's just the way my wit works. I'm quick and I like to. When something pops into my head, I gotta spew it out on this thing. Is like crossing a busy street like the old Frogger game, and I gotta like look around trying to sell the

faces get in. And Plus, because I'm using my phone, I only see four boxes, so all the four people I don't see, so I don't know who's about to talk, Sam, because you're staring, because people see you staring at the screen, almost like the screen is frozen. I'm analyzing it, and I'm looking for my way in. He analyze this or there's something I don't have anything to talk about. If it's something i'm supposed to like, I don't have an opinion on right, then I'm not gonna smile and sit

there like a train monkey. You go, oh, we're gonna be able to smiling. I'm waiting. I'm listening intently, enjoying the podcast as a listener. I wave, I drink water, I drink tea. Were crystal light picture on the next to me there lovingly into the screen. You do you make googly eyes at um all the way. Yesterday on the fifteen fifty Men Moorring Show podcast, I was talking about No it was on air Monday on air, I'm sorry,

Monday on air. I was recapping my weekend. And I went to Governor's Ball shortly known as gov Ball on Friday and Saturday last week. It was a three day festival. I went Friday and Saturday and Nate said to me, what were you doing there? As if I shouldn't be there because it targets a younger crowd, right, And they thought maybe you were there targeting a younger crowd because that's what it could look because you know, you're so. There were plenty of people our age, They're scary. It's

a music festival. It was a lot of fun. But I happened to bring my daughter and her friend there, so but I enjoyed the show as well. Billie Eilish really Megan the Stallion. Lots of a rock bands of interesting enough, but I have a govern Ball story, but you go first Billie Eilish. Just speaking of Billie Eilish, um was the crowd jumping up and down to her when she came home, okay, because she did a great

job of of working the crowd. So when she said everybody jomp, everybody jumped, and when she said everybody saying, everybody sang. Whereas like Megan the Stallion, although she was entertaining. She really just shakes her butt cheeks a lot. She doesn't interact with the crowd. She's not gonna get the crowd to shake their asses the way she does, so very different dynamic when she's at the Heart Radio Music Festival.

She came out after that on that show, and she couldn't believe it because, you know, obviously the organ billy um. She couldn't believe how crazy you Obviously, first of all, people were excited for her, but you're in an arena, so you're in an elevated situation where there are seats. It's bizarre. It's they're going up and you know, it goes up into a sky like the bowl, like a bowl. And so she was She's like, wait a second, hold on a second. It's been a fucking year and a half. People.

She goes, I want to see you, bounce. I want to see you and she tried to do the bounce thing where because because most of the time she plays these massive festivals and it's just a stage like gov Ball, and it's just a massive amount of people in So when you see the right so when you see the jump, everybody, the whole crowd jumps at once. You can't do that in a stadium seating seating kind of can't stand up and jump, You'll fall down to the next row. You'll

you'll fall onto the person. And if you had drunk, your might drop your hotdog and soda. You know, really, Billie Eilish, it wasn't Fae Eilish, it was Billie Eilish, wife felt because last that was a reference the last week's podcast with you guys Listen in order. Although Scary didn't bring the jingles home again, her brother is you know Phineas. I thought I was encountering faux Phineas backstage or actually in the lounge, and it was really hit Phineas. Yeah,

it was real Phineas. So let's say about good ball. Let me tell you a couple of funny stories. So I got passes from the radio station right because we had we had extra ones left over that you know, from after the giveaways, and so I got to go bring my daughter. But because she brought a friend, I only had two wristbands. I needed a pass to get in. So I I contacted my friends at the Mets because it was at the where the Mets, it was their stadium and they got me two wristbands, right, so what

excuse me? One extra wrist band for Friday and one expert extra wrist band for Saturday. So I got I got to use the extra wrist span on Friday, and then my daughter's friend canceled on Saturday, but we still went anyway. Right, So I had the extra wristband. It's a long story, it's not important to the story. Okay, she had the ships, so I had this extra band. Now keep in mind, it's general admission, meaning you walk in, you walk around, you stand wherever you wants, not seats. Right,

there's no bands together. Nobody goes in. Everybody like no wristbands, right. Okay, so I've got this extra ticket, So I tell my daughter go ahead in. I'm gonna find someone who needs a wristband and give it away because man try to sell it to somebody, right, because I got it for free. So I'm walking around and everybody I say, hey, do you need a wristband? They think I'm a scalper. Now they were like seven or eight scalper is running around like like rats, like swooping in on people. You need

to get wristbands, wristbands. They're like arms full of wristbands, right, and you know, so you know who they are. And so every time I walked over, right, they were like, no, I'm good, I'm good. They didn't want to like pay scalpe prices, but I was like, do you need a ticket like to get in? And they're like like, So I decided to go to the box office. And I woke up to the box office. There's a long line

and the show is sold out for Saturday. Okay, I think there were some seats available for I sold out Saturday, and I'm asking people online, Hey, I don't want to say that free because I don't want someone to take it and then sell it, right, So I want to find someone who generally needs a pass a wristband. So these group of girls, after I've like happy girls, group of girls, ten people are walked by. It's like you know that the snake lines like a musem parks, So

they're snaking. So I'm on the end by the fence and so as people are walking to come on, hold on. So these young girls, I don't know, eighteen and twenties somewhere in there, excuse me, do you guys need a wristband? So she's just how much I said free, I'm giving it away. She's just now saw I need two together and walks away down it walks away. At that point, I'm not gonna like twist her on to take it. I told her it's freez. Just now I need to like, I don't want to. I'm not gonna teach her how

life works. You take the free one, you buy one more, right? Why is she so stupid? Right? So okay, so I walk around. Now the show started, the shows that we we've gotten there, I don't know the show was like noon to a like eleven o'clock at night. We got there at six to see Megan's stallion. Because the traffic, we got there late. So at this point I want to go in right because Megan's going on in a little while. So this guy comes up to me. He

sees me with the wristband. I have the weekend wristband three day pass on my on my bicep, and I have the the I think it was pink, pink or yellow whatever. The Saturday call it was no, uh and neither and Coplay wasn't there singing ye yellow, right, So I have the extra wristband and I'm walking in and he sees it. He goes, hey, man, he's selling. So I knew he was a scalper. So I'm going to give it to him for free, right, But I'm about to go in, so there's no one else to give

it to, so I say to him. So I'm thinking to myself, you know what, we were there the night before, and the and the sweatshirts my daughter wanted were between seventy five and twenty, which is crazy, right, So I said, you know what, the show is already almost over, like for the night. Let me see what the guy guy, I'll give me. Because at that point I tried to give it away. I tried to do the right thing. I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna reinvest the money

right back into the shirt. So I didn't feel guilty about it, right, Okay, So so I said to the guy. He goes, how much you want for it? I go, to be honest with you, I'd like fifty. I figured out we'll buy the sweatshirt for seventy five, give me fifty. Because it's late in the show and he's not gonna be able to sell it, so he says, I'll give you forty. I go, look, you know, I don't even want to sell it. I don't even feel right about selling it, and not for forty. I'm not gonna know.

But you got it for free. It's not that I didn't want him to resell it and make a profit off some other poor kid. Doesn't matter. The initial transaction would have been you scalping it to him, and that's an illegal transaction right there. Though The ticket was as does matter? You got it for I understand that, but I tried to get it. Is it not scalping if you charge you everywhere anywhere up dollars, if you charge less, it's not scalping him to us, I'm selling it to

a scalper. Doesn't matter. You shouldn't. He should shouldn't land in his hands. Period. Okay, I can't continue, all right? I felt bad enough, which is why. Okay, So he says, i'll give you forty. I said, come on, forty. So he says, I'll tell you what. We'll flip a coin. You can flip it. If you win, I'll give you fifty. If I win, i'll give you forty. I said, you're gonna flip me over ten dollars? He says, yeah, I never lose. What he says, yes, sometimes I bet a

hundred dollars or nothing. Like. You can't believe you stopped down to play the fucking flip game right there. Well, no one was on stage at that point by the entrance, so all right, so what did you do? So I was like, how would I flip it? He goes, God, whatever you pick, I'm gonna win. I'm like, what do you mean, it's goes, I've never lost. So I flipped scary and I said, tales, it was heads. I had to beat him. I doesn't care about the money. I

wanted to beat him lost, so you gave him. I got all right, you got forty dollars and then I put it towards a sweatshirt. So I understand this. You still did that was still an illegal action in my opinion, I just don't it's no, no, it's legal. I was far enough away from the entrance. I walked away, there's a certain distance, and I bought a shirt from gov B. I know, I know, but it was a comp ticket. It was a comp thing. It was a comp thing. You got it. It was calm. I started the story

by telling you I tried to give it away. I know you looked up to people, you walked up to a hundred people. A hundred stupid people were there, and you know what, in front of this galloper. I would cut it up with scissors at that point, because you ain't getting it. I felt I just wanted to tell the story. I felt guilty about it, so I like, I said, I only got enough for half a sweatshirt. So I paid the rest for the sweatshirt. But I

tried to give it away. I did I get I go. Okay, alright, alright, podcast, I will tell you one of the story about god Ball now that we're back, because I forgot a few minutes ago. So I'm not gonna mention names. I'm not gonna mention names. But we had an intern, oh not that long ago, No names please. He used to come into work the very formally, very conservative shirt and tie, right every day shirt and tie. We used to tease. I'm like, dude, you weren't a tie this guy. I

think I know who we talk you're talking about. No, you don't know who I'm talking about, doesn't matter. Text me who you're talking about so I know who I can follow along. We were talking about. I'll text you right now as I'm talking, hold on home, tell me who it is. I'll tell you who it is. Hey, you what it is? Hold on. So I'm walking around in the crowd because I'm not in the crowd. My daughters in the crowd on Saturday. I'm not in the crowd. And you know, there's all kinds of people having a

great time. There's people in drag. There's there's people that's drunk. A lot of drunk or stone people where their friends had to help them walk, you know, like they're doing the us like keeping them up. You got my text text, of course I know who this person is. Okay. So so I walk by and I see this person right and I go, uh, don't don't like and love my text messages. Then I have to get the feedback that's just loved it. I just gave it. I gave Brodie

the heart. Just tell me you like you we're talking. You don't need to like everything. I'll say. I'll verbalize it. Scary love the message, thank you. Okay. So I I see him and he's in a very uncasual outfit, cut off shirt, little shorts, and he's having a great time, he's no, not just the shorts, and he's just having the best time dancing like nobody's watching. And I'm thinking that's the conservative shy quiet like he was never quiet.

I shouldn't say it was quiet, but you know, the shirt and tie very professional or whatever, and so I didn't. Now would you have said hello to him? A mask? A mask with masks scary? I'm just saying, I'm asking a question. Scary. It was bumper, a bumper, people smashed up against each other. Okay, still outside but okayas only concert. No, I'm sorry it was a vas only concert. Yes, you know the scalpels are doing the people who were leaving early.

They were buying their wristbands from them, their yellow wristbands and putting them in their masks. Not not the not the tickets. When you went, we had to show you a vax card. You got a yellow wrist a yellow like a ribbon, wearing your arm. But he's selling ry. Yes, the scalpers were reselling people's COVID wrist bands so you didn't have to have a vaccine to get in. It was awful. They might as well just sell fake cards then, I mean, listen, they're scalpers. They're not honest people. Anyway.

I understand that they don't belong on this, they don't belong in front of concert venues. But people were buying them, is my point, which means they weren't vaccinated, which means I'm wearing my mask. That's my business and I don't tell them people what to do. My point is I walked by him and he didn't. He didn't recognize me, but I recognized him. Yeah, okay, So I walked to this, I walked like ten ft away. I'm like, do I

bother him? Do I say hello? Because he was like really into it, and I thought maybe he's not comfortable with me seeing him like let loose. So I went up to him and he saw me, goes, what the fund are you doing here? He was very happy to see me. But my point was you never know who you work with, how people let their hair down. I've credicted quite a few of our old interns while I've been out in the bad. As you know, I go

out on weekends and I'm the place. Yes, I've been to many different restaurants and venues and clubs and bars, and I've seen ours. I've seen the drunk side of some of our interns that we had. I'm like, oh my god, you've busted out of your shell. It's been five years. Yeah, so it would not surprise me to either a see him or be c um where he is now in life. And I would absolutely embrace the guys. It's been a few years, but I'm glad I don't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't picture him specifically to be to

be the way he was, because he's straight. He's a straightly sky, you know, right. And he wasn't like crazy crazy. He was just normal crazy. And I've never seen him other than like hello, hello, hello internst scary and rody dude. I gotta find a suit that fits me. I mean, I'm on in your closet. Well, you know it's it is entering fourth quarter, But as some listeners pointed out, it's uh not fourth quarter scary. It's overtime scary because here in sudden death, I don't know what's going on.

So um, I have I have a bunch of suits and I gotta find I'm there a little there's a couple of a little snug but I'm literally headed out of here tomorrow. I'm kind of excited. I'll give I guess we'll give this. I'm gonna give the slices, the scoop on this. I haven't told anybody. I I cannot now. I I'm shocked, completely shocked. I thought you would pull on my leg. This is a this is a huge thing for you. This is tremendous and I didn't even I just kind of stepped into it. UM I to

tomorrow night. I am going to Monday night, Friday night, tomorrow, Friday night, October one. UM. I was asked by Extra TV, Extra Television, Extra Extra, uh to go drive to Mohegan's Sun uhcause which is a hotel casino up in Uncasville, Connecticut or down in uncas where you live, or east and east right, arriving by boat and and and hang out and sit down backstage in Sebastian Maniscalco, the comedian

actor his dressing room. That will he be there? Uh yeah, actually he will be for thirty minutes and sit down with him for thirty minutes and conduct an interview. And Extra is sending an entire camera crew, a producer in audio tech uh and literally gonna capture my thirty minute exclusive with Sebastian, Now, did you tell them you need to camera at the high angle? I said, I did make a request. I'm like, can we do this standing up?

I mean, I really don't look good sitting down. I don't want I don't want my stomach to stand for a half hour. First of all, you'll collapse. Second of all, good, what do you do? What do you do with your hands for a half hour? So they actually asked me to do this, and then sometime next week and then again, I don't know when you're listening to this, uh, in the middle of the week. Perhaps Tuesday, Yeah, it will

be Monday, but maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. You'll see it on Extra and I'll be on TV and um but it's gonna be one of those things because I know what they you know what they do on those shows, and they chop everything up to shreds sets out with Sevester Meta Scalco, and it's just going, yeah, I would do that again, he says he'd do it again, right, and then yeah, exactly, and then they'll just you just see my uh my, my hand, my fist with the microphone,

the milk, your head, my head. Uh no, but you know what actually now they say it's going to be more than that, and I'm gonna, you know, be able to do like a little intro for it and everything like that. So they are going to give me maybe thirty seconds or two or a minute. But the larger point here is I'm not a TV guy. And I told him that, I'm like, are you smoking something? They know your fourth quarter overtime scary right, Well, but it's not even that. It's more like, I'm just a radio guy.

I like you casual, very super casual. I don't I hate dressing up. I hate, you know, makeup, and I don't think I'm think I'm gonna get makeup. But but the point, the larger point is your boy, Scary Jones is gonna interview about Shamanascalco on TV and and and that's kind of here's here's what I'm looking for you and I went over a lot of ideas. You had something you have, you know, you had some really funny ideas that I'm not gonna say what it is. There's a pizza thing. Yes, I had a pizza idea. I

love that idea. And you had an idea about two ideas too. Gay about the flash cards and I think I'm gonna one is flash cards. I'm not gonna say anything else, and one was a cell phone related right, so we'll see what makes it to the air well, I mean extra approved everything. They they proved all of it. Yea, yeah, they loved it. So and Scarry says Brodie, why don't you come with me right now? Well, yeah, steakhouse up there? There is a steakhouse on site. Yeah there is. This

is actually two steakhouses there. Yeah, that's not gonna work because then extra pay for dinner and it won't count, so right exactly, I'll still end up owing you. So, I mean, anyway, it's kind of cool. No, no, I am a look for me next week tomorrow. I went, I don't know why they want me to do. I mean, I didn't even apply for it. They came. They came to me, they were like, hey, what do you think?

So anyway, that's an exciting thing that's happening. Um, you know whatever that that being said, Um, I wanted to invite all the slices to an event that we're doing in a couple of weeks, which Brody and I will both be at. And it's worth it because the money goes to a great cause. Well we're talking too. Yes, we're talking about the the New York City Wine and Food Festival. It's not an official Brooken Boys appearance, but

your Brooklyn Boys will be in the house. It's NYC w F and Food Festival and follow nope dot org. Follow follow along at NYC WFF dot org NYC dot org. Now the great part of this it's it's a period e six. It's on the west side of Manhattan. It's right near the ships we were at Period eight. We were on the l ship right next to the Intrepid. As a matter of fact, by the way, I put a picture up from the I had the back of the ship room, which is fantastic, right, giant deck in

the back you guys saw on my Instagram. I hope. Anyway, it has a great view of Pre eighty six and the and the Concorde, which is a museum. So uh, figuring me out, I don't have the name Handy. I apologize. One of our slices DM me and said, what the hell, what does the Concorde doing there? They said, it's been like a museum for ten twelve years, right that you can just go and walk on it and it's not the Concorde, it's one of many. But he's like you

have a museum. New York has everything. We really have the airplanes, we have supersonic jets just sitting there, sitting there along the concorde right beside that really have aircraft carrier. Now, I know if you guys live in uh South Eastern America, you probably have aircraft carriers and some of the mill and same with the West coast you may have. It's just nice to see it in the middle of all the the skyscrapers and cars there with the with the

Sst Concorde British Airway. So if you're around on October fifte Friday night, now, now, don't get sticker shock when you see and don't let your bowl you out of your head when you see the the price on the ticket, because what five dollars? No, it's expensive, but here's what you get. You get unlimited Italian food and and and drinks. So you pay that one price and your ticket. Now you get to walk around. There's gonna be over twenty five booths of Italian food there, over twenty and there's

gonna be um because it's Italian night. It's for Telly barretta Italian food night, and you're gonna walk around and see and eat everything and it's as much as you possibly can can possibly eat and and throughout the night, and you get to drink what you want because there's plenty of bars serving a lot of wine and things like that. So please join us on that night. And again, the money goes to charity. It's n y c WF

dot org. It goes to help solve food insecurities. Um so yes, so it gives food to people who need it most, to food local food banks and stuff. All right, So we hope to see you there if you want to join us. Uh, and Brody'll be there and I'll be there. I cannot wait for all that cheese and sauce. Are you kidding me? Palm palm, palm, palm, palm, palm on the arm because you pay one price at the door, all right, but now at the door, get you tickets

in advance. We'll see you there, all right. Yeah? Okay, So I said this on the yesterday and everyone like had a good chuckle about it, and then some people took it seriously and then they actually got in touch with me I am terrible at going to home depot and remedying situations around my house. So my my bathroom needs cork and needs calking. Okay, I need to grout and calk my bathroom. We cannot do either of those things either. One. I don't even know. I didn't even

know what grouting was. I thought I could just go buy the that white stuff and just like kind of put it into the cracks. That doesn't sound right at all. If I could take the cork and I had a phone tab about this once, uh, and I can, and I could, and I could put it into the but they're like, no, no, you can't do that. First you have to you have to grout. You have to grout it me rip out the fucking stuff. Secondly, you can't

use the cork on the tiles on the floor. You could put it around the bathtub with the bathtub meets the tile, but you can't use it on the actual tiles. I need a special cement ship. I don't even know what it is. It's not even cork, it's something else. Grout. Maybe that what is that is? There is a thing, Okay, grout. I need to gro out and cork anyway, because there is because I have a tile that's one of the tiles is chipped in there on my bathroom needs me.

I am an absolute mess. But prody when you go to home depot because you go there so often, I'm there, they know me. I'm like, dude, I never go in there. I went in there. I don't have a home. And I went in there and and just and I got so frustrated. After walking up and down the aisle, finally I found my ship. I'm like, Oh, this is the place. And then I'm like, oh, wait, what do I get paint? I don't know what I want to be in the

middle of the store by the paint. Second, But there's so many options and there's so many different things, and it depends if you need silicone. But I don't know what I need. I went there. That's that's you asked the guy. And when I say the guy could be the woman you asked the person in the orange apron, excuse me, you don't. And then you don't know what kind of But they don't know what kind of bathroom I have? You have just tell him I have a boogey bathroom. Can I tell you a secret about home

depot everyone listening. What you should always do. Take a picture of the thing you're trying to fix. Bring with you the broken old part so that when you go let me see it. Or if it's like a leak, take a video of it so they can tell you what's leaking. You can't just go, oh my my pipes leaking. Yeah, but from where they need to look at it, because they can tell is that the is it the washer? Is that the pipe brought it out? You gotta take a video or a picture. That's very smart, that's very

sound advice. Brodie. Well, this is this is why you come to the podcast. Because I'm the Master Slice, as they call me. I know stuff about stuff. Well that's good, you know. But even by me telling, taking pictures and stuff and video and then handing it to these people, do you really think that I was gonna I was gonna end up and stalling what I bought. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have gone there in the first place. And anyway, everyone in the morning

Ship gave me a twice taste. It's like toothpaste. You squired it out and then you buy um, you buy um a cock uh gun, No, it depends how much you have to cook. If it's a little spot, you don't have to buy the gun. You can buy a squeeze tube and do it yourself. Then you just buy a cock scraper that has a rounded edge, and again you run it along the corner of the tub wall and it takes all the off. Wouldn't cook off? Yeah, that's what YouTube is for. My God, scary, I know,

but the thing is on YouTube. I'm not missing listen. I don't have a green thumb, I don't have a mission. I'm not MR installed the toilet. You know how I did it. I watched a video and then I installed the toilet and a hot tub. I did not install the hot tub. I paid to have it installed. But I know I'll keep it. That's right, you fuck you suck that up, right. I I untwisted something I shouldn't have, but then I learned how to fix it. You just leave it to the professionals. Well, I tried to break

into my own house. I broke the window. Life too short, I have found. I have been able to fix the things that need to be fixed. But some people are cut out for that, and people learned when I tell you, maybe next week, I'll tell you about how I fixed I had to fix my own shower because I hired the world's worst plumber. I'll tell you that story next week. Past I'm gonna tell you about Bobby Bubbles. Bobby Bubbles,

Bobby Bubbles. So it was today. I'm in Target. Okay, now, I think I told you they have redone every Target in America to look fancier and to be uniform, so that everything's in the same place in every Target, or at least as close as possible. So in the Target I shop in, there used to be a men's grooming section that had shaving cream, raizor blades, deodorant, and shampoo. Then there was a fancier section with like hair care products, but some of the shampoo was also there, right, So

there was men shampoo in two different places. I happen to like a couple of different ones. But one of the ones I use as my backup is like three dollars. It's Suave two and one shampoo and conditioner. That is such a rody move. I don't like the shampoo and the conditioner. That's one stop shopping boom done. You don't have any I have a special conditioner, have a special shampoo. Oh you're the best? How great are you? Okay? So I once bought I once bought Irish Spring three and one,

which also included body wash. So use it on your head and your body all at once. It's all liquid soul. What's the difference. And it triples as as as a shaving cream and quadruples quadruples as toothpaste, quadruples a shaving cream, sinks and tuplets. Anyway, so I wanted to two and one in the flavor of the scent, I like, that's what I like. So I happened to be in the bougie area and I'm looking now on the back wall. It's all the brands, right, all the brands, but the

body washes. Okay. On the rack perpendicular to the wall is the ship woos. And I'm standing by the suave, which is on the bottom shelf because it's the cheap stuff. And I don't see the flavor. I like, so, Bobby Bubble flavor? Are you tasting it? Decent descent? Bobby Bubbles

comes over. Why do I call him Bobby Bubbles? So I'm gonna tell you what I called Bobby Balls in a minute, so I asked him for help, and I said, excuse me, do you guys, I'm looking for a suave two in one in a certain scent, do you guys? I don't see it here? And I point to the suave right by my feet, the whole it's three ft wide of blue bottles. I don't see the one I like. Before I walk to the back of the store. Do you still have a men's grooming area where there's also

shampoo or is it all here now? And this is where Bobby Bubbles turns into Bobby Bubbles first, so he's so he walks closer and he don't interrupt me. He's got his mask on his face, but he's not covering his nose, which you know, that's this It's pointless at that point, it's pointless. So you know, I'm a little taken aback, and I, you know, I try to keep my distance. I got my mask on because I don't

know where Bobby Bubbles is from. And so I'm thinking to myself, am I being paranoid that the guy's nose isn't covered? And then I noticed he's breathing heavy and little bubbles are forming in his nose. He's bull little bubbles, little nose bubbles. So now now I want to stay away from this guy because now Bobby Bubbles is blown bubbles like snot rockets out of his nose. And I don't know what he's got, what doesn't have And he's he's a heavy weight. He's going he's like breathing heavy.

I'm like, oh no, no, no, so a fright when I'm thinking COVID and I'm thinking podcast, which is you know, one's, one's bad ones a winner. Itause not got content. So he says to me, um, I think it's over here, and he brings me to the back wall and he's like, come over here, look, and I'm like, I don't want to go near him. So I'm like, no, man, that's the body wash. Are you sure? Yeah? That whole wall is body washed. Wait a second, how does this guy

work there and not know the difference? That's what I'm saying to you. So then he goes, oh, so I said, again, excuse me, do you have another section in the back well you used to have it? Because he didn't answer my question, so he goes, I think it's over here. Now he walks me ten ft down the wall and I and I go, he goes, it's these in the suave, right, you want to swave. Here's the swab section. It's all

women's suave. He's got me in the women's section, and all the bottles of green and red by sex, now by gender, well, all the women's stuff, because if you don't know how you identify what I think, I have a third section. I'm just saying. I'm not saying it's it's okay, it's the stuff for for people who have traditional hair, like women have traditional long hair. They put more effort in to it. I'm not gonna get into the whole pronoun thing. It's the women's stuff. It's the

green and the red, it's all like everybody. It's a terrible way to organize a store. Really, the women's razors, aren't you the men's razors. The men's razors are near the men's deodorant and the men's shaving cream. But dude, don't underwhere were you and the men's were you in the serious? Why don't you go to Target and tell him not to have a woman's section of clothing because some men like to. We didn't say that that's what you're saying I'm not no, if I'm not, I'm not voting.

I'm not rooting for that. I'm just what I'm saying is you would think in what store have you ever been in where the women's razors are next to the men's razors and the women's shampoo is next to the men's shampoo. I shop at spot the things. I shop at small stores, so it's hard. They don't have that kind of real estate. Okay, but they still put them. Okay, they put together. Oh you know, go to Macy's and ask him where the women's coats aren't with that, that's different.

You're talking about clothing. You're talking about you suck tweets at Scary Jones. Anyway, the point was, it's all women's shampoo. It's all sent into what women traditionally like. It's all floral sense. I'm not gonna use it, Okay, I said, dude, do you have I I'm looking for the men's swave. Do you have it? And he's like, you know, and he's blown bubbles again. I'm like, you know what, I'm I'm good, I'm good. I'm gonna I'll find it. Don't

worry about it. He goes all right, I go. But seriously, though, is I'm gonna just walk in the back, all right? So I said, before I walk there again, is there is there men ship pulling it back? You know what? I really don't know. You know what, I believe them. I believed him, So, you know what, fuck you, Bobby Bubbles. It would be one thing if the snot bubbles, if he knew what he was talking about. But he didn't

even know what he's talking about. Ah, and he works there, he's getting paid, he's getting a check, he's getting a check, a COVID check. They must be getting getting scraping the bottom of the barrel because you know, so many people don't want to work these days. I don't know, man, this guy, you know what, it was funny or he was stock in the shelves like he had a cart. He must have been. He must have been. I don't know.

He just was like, well, I don't know. You know what, it's you know what, it's okay to do scary you've worked in customer service or you know someone who works there, not me him. He could have said, you know what, sir, I'm not sure, but let me go find out. That's what I'm saying, let me bubble on my hip. Bobby Bubble Bubbles could have asked for help, yea, so fun you Bobby Bubbles didn't ask to help, So I had to go. So you know what, there is no other

men's grooming sex anymore. That's gone. So they were out of what I wanted, which is a huge store. They're out of it. Yes, I had to go walk like thirteen aisles to where it used to be and there's no men's grooming section. It's not a popular thing. Not a popular thing. Though, what are you gonna do now? So, man, dude, I don't know what you would have done today. Man, if you were fighting for parking spaces, I am so. I am I rate about the parking situation in front

of our building. Um I needed sometimes because of that press only. Well, no, this has nothing to do with at. This is This is people parking like assholes when you see if you park, if you are trying to find a spot in you're near a big city, right, You're in a big city. Because a lot of times this does don't apply to people on old town roads, little non sex and uh, you know people that in more

rural areas or even the suburbs. But as you get closer to the city, you may live or work in an area where every inch counts when it comes to parking, especially in the parallel parking world. Absolutely, well, I I I pull up today and there's a guy who all the cars, but all the cars are lined up on the left hand side, and then there's just a little there's a little bit, a little bit of space behind the last guy, but not enough for a car because

there's a corner about the corner is behind the crosswalk. Okay, I'm like, okay, damn it, all right, so I start rolling to the front, go to the front. The guy in the first spot left so much fucking room in the first spot, a half a spot there, maybe a little bit more. But then there were the cross row walk on the on the front, you get it to the crush road, so there's at the space between the crushwalk on the street before and the street maybe the

space between space between that. So you know that, don't don't give me oh well, you don't know who got there first. Know that guy had the choice to play. There was no way there was another car in front of him when he pulled in. That guy decided that I'm just gonna leave it right here, and I'm gonna leave all this fucking space in front of me. What that did was it caused a chain reaction of less parking spaces behind it, especially when it comes to the end of the block on the on the back side.

So you can't, dude, we don't do that anymore. We don't. This isn't This isn't going to growing up in Brooklyn when we were fifteen years old. Did you take a TikTok video and p on it? Dude? I didn't do any of the things that carry Underwood did to her boy friend Win she found out that he cheated. Maybe next time I'll think before he doesn't pull and take you know, you know, Louis slugget too both headlights or it didn't slash, slash the seats or any of that. Ship.

You're you're not Brooklyn anymore, my friend. Not happening. But there's a great website and I talked about it on the other this morning, and everyone should. Everybody should have this because when I talked about it, people texted and they're like, dude, I got this from my husband. He goes, dude, this is the best gift I ever got them. If you ever so you go to just google the following Google you park like an asshole. If you google you park like an asshole. There's you can buy these cards.

Some of them are signs, some of them are cards, some of them are stickers. Don't get the stickers and uh and and these signs that you could put on people's cars and you could literally, if they say it professionally, you park like an asshole, because and then there's all these obvious things like you know, you park diagonal, you take up two lanes, you you know, you're you know whatever. It is. The point is you could check off all the boxes of why this person parked like an asshole.

And then when you leave your car, you just you just slide it under their windshield and you walk away, and then you leave for them and let them know that they're a fucking asshole. And they'll never know who did it, because it's not like you you know, you hand written, your hand wrote anything. So you know, it's just a great way of just having closure. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, you know what that does, that gets to the guy, that gets the guy to come to

his come out to his car faster. You know why because the second you're gonna put it on his windshield, he comes on and goes, what the funk are you doing by my car? And he's like, he's a joke website and he punches you. Now you, I'm just telling you it's great, or even use it as a gag or a joke on your family, your family and your friends. CNN Breaking news Man with jokes sticker gets shot by man who doesn't like the joke. You know, the guy who the guy who talks like that doesn't give a

shit about other people. He doesn't, right, so he doesn't give a shit about me or my life? Is what you right? Right? That's someone who doesn't care. I fuck it, I'm not gonna pull off stake courteous. What does it take to be courteous? Now? There was a five percent chance that the car in front of him was close to where he pulled in pulled out in the next car. You can't fit a car. You could not fit a car in the space that he left. So the guy car in front of him may have been a smaller

car than the big car pulled out. I'm talking about the first car, the original car. That is the car in the front, in the very front of that of that cross walk. Right, that guy decided to pull up only only partially and did and didn't close up the gap up to the stop, up to the crosswalk. That's what I'm saying. There's no way a car was in front of him. So he was the leader, he was the follow the leader guy. He sucked it up. Everyone

sucked it up for everyone. Ship rolls downhill, asshole with Scary. I've got an asshole story. I've got so many. But why is it that you have no tolerance for I think that's what it is. You've low were tolerance and a higher expectation people that are getting paid an hourly wage. No, no, no, no, about isn't how much they get paid. You tell me what you would do in this situation, Scary Jones, let

me take that bet. Let me walk that back. I don't say that people that make hourly wages are I'm saying that what do you expect from a Walmart worker? Walmart worker with a mask below his nose and blown bubbles out of his nose. First of all, it was target and it doesn't matter where he works. Either way, that person is, but they are wonderful people working at that there are every one of him. But what do

you You can't always expect the best in anyone. You always expect Okay, so tell me what you would have done. And I've i've I've brought this topic up before. You're like, oh are you talking about this? I stop at an x on station on the one of the major parkways in New Jersey to rest stop, and I opened up the x on app, which has no rules. You just your credit cards already in there. You pick the pump number and you open the pump and you say, begin fueling. Now,

in New Jersey, you don't pump your own gas. You're not allowed. You have to have the person come over and pump your guests. Correct. One of the very few states that still need to New York and Oregon, New Jersey and Oregon New Jersey. So I need Jersey organ right. So the guy comes over and he says, he says, uh, now, I'm gonna tell you. I have to explain his accent because when he was later on he says something that

I has to have. He's asking for permission. No, no, no, no, not no not he so he says uh, he goes what type? I said, thirty dollars regular. Now I want to tell you something. My my car was on fumes. I had like four miles left empty, right, which is why I didn't mind, you know, pulling up on the Parkway. You know you're paying likes a gallon more for the convenience to be I was gonna say, that's very unlike

you bro to pay the hip. I was running on fumes, all right, Okay, desperate times call for desperate measure, that's right. So I so I realized, if I fill up the car, it's gonna cost me fifty dollars because I know what my car holds and I know i'm empty, right, So I said to the guy, you know I'm gonna pay for conveniance. I don't need to overpay for convenience. So I say, give me thirty dollars regular. Thirty big spender. I thought you'd go for five dollars and just makes

some money. Plus I know I have a long road trip. The next day, I was driving something. I thought, maybe you want enough gas just to get to the next gas station. I've done that though, I've done it. Give a guy a five dollar it's like seventy. Listen, there's a station in me. It's like a sixty seven cents. So I'm sorry, sixty seventy cents more than everywhere else. I'm not buying a lot of gas from that guy, but if I'm desperate, here's five bucks. Give me five

bucks anyway. So I sell a guy thirty dollars. I thought that was fair, right, that's fair. He says, no, thirty, gotta fill it, gotta fill it. What what you into these fucking people? So I told you this. They did this to me at p P. They said, the app app, you use the app, you have to fill it up, you have to fill, must fill big pricks. So I said, no, yeah, I said xex on. I said no, I don't. There's no rules in the app. Doesn't see anything about having

to fill up. I gotta fill up, I said. I said, listen, guy, the pump doesn't know how much my car holds. If you stop it at thirty, then it's filled as far as the pump knows. The pump isn't gonna lose any sleep, right, What an asshole? So he goes, now fill it up only, and so then the app locks right after like a minute, it locks the pump again, so he throws his hands up and he walks away to go help somebody else. Wow, now I'm pausing. I'm pausing the story here, scary. What

would you have done? What would I have done? I would have gotten out of my car. I would have hit the fucking stop button, and I would have put the hose back in the thing and paid him for whatever. I Okay, that's what I would have done. Okay, So you're the guy who like, oh laid back guy a lot. In this case, you can't tell me. You can't pull money out of my pocket and tell me what I need to spend. So here's what I did. I opened up the pump again with my app while he was

three aisles away. I put the pump in my car and I start pumping and it's got you know, because it's in Jersey, they have the click in the handle that actually works, so you can lock it and let it pump by itself. So I turned it on. I got back at my car, so it looked like I was just sitting there and he can't see the pump in my car because he's on the other side. So

now I'm like twenty six. I'm watching it, going get to thirty, get to thirty because I'm gonna jump out at thirty and turn it off right, because of course you can do that. He didn't want to stand there and turn it off at thirty. That's what really it was about, of course. Okay, so he comes over and he sees it at He comes over twenty and a half and I get out of the car. He goes, you fill it. I said, no, I'm thirty dollars. No, you have to fill it the app. You have to

fill it on the app. I said, here's you have to. It will let you, It will let you. I said, really watch this and I go click, click, and I at thirty dollars and twenty cents, I turn it off. I put it back. I had done right in front of him. He goes, no, you you must top, must top, must top. So then the thing goes you want to receiat? I hit no, I go have a nice day. He goes, no, you have to top, you have to top. I feel like saying him, no, you your bottom don't even know whatever.

So now at that point, would you have said an to him? I don't know what I would have done. I said no, no top, and I got back on my cough. Then I went over to the quickie mart and I spent no top me what top it off that he does? I have to top it off, right, he said, you must hop must stop you top you top Now. Maybe maybe he has a problem with numbers that are not even like. Maybe maybe he's got like O, C, D or something. Well, you need to see whole numbers. I need to see. I need to see it thirty

imagine that. So listen, you guys with drive throughs, especially if you live in Jersey where they pump your gas or Oregon, don't let them fun. Don't one will lie to you. They want your money, They want a full tank of gas late and they don't want to stand there and turn it off at thirty. They don't want to. So they want to be able to like put it on full, walk away and come back whenever when it clicks, and that's what you're done. But this guy, I'm not.

That's not my problem. That's almost a scamboni. Not my problem. I do as well. First, all ship you got me Postmates, one of the you know food ordering services you know all around the country. They call him. I don't get the name your Postmates means where I get grub Hub. I don't even get the logo. Well, there's a guy. It looks like it looks like, uh is a guy on a bicycle, like like aiming at the moon. Like

he's like with the stars behind him. It's like et It's like he's at eat and he's going over the moon and he's like delivering your food. But it's called Postmates. I don't know. I think it started in New York City, like way back and it was one of the I think it was one of the original look it up whatever. Look, you know you got door dasht name the seamless seamless, so so you know I actually I said, all right,

I'm on door Dash. And by the way, I feel like these apps and know when you're opening the other competition's app, because a notification will just drop down on my phone from the other app saying hey you're hungry, and I'm like, wait, wait a second, how do you know I'm hungry? But I must know you. I think that's the real issue on your competition's app. But I got fucking notification now on my phone saying are you hungry? From the rival app. Anyway, all these places they go

back and forth each other. There's so many in the field right now, and I have all of them. So I'm on Postmates, um, and I noticed a pop up and I'm by the way, you can order food from different places from the same place in two different apps, and sometimes the menu items are different because they haven't updated that specific app with those. So maybe the fried shrimp is on the Postmates app, but it didn't make it to the steams app. But from the same restaurant.

It's crazy. And sometimes the prices different brody which, so they prices fucking differ, And so I am now I'm a'm ordering for a restaurant that I said, Wait a minute, yeah that. Speaking of which, I went to a place to order and one place had large and small sizes and one app didn't. They only had large. Well they scam is a scamboni, So here's the scamboni on Postmates.

So I'm I'm now like measuring the prices, and the price on the door dash for the same restaurant comes out to about twelve dollars more, believe it or not. And then the Postmates like, yeah, it was that much of a difference. So all of a sudden, there was a pop up on Postmates that said you get fifty percent off right now. If it literally popped up from under like it was within the app. I'm like, from fifty off, and it said must spend forty to get

to qualify. And I'm like, okay, that's great, my forty off. I'm gonna I'm gonna top it off to forty and then and my my price is gonna drop down the twenty. This is fucking brilliant, man, you know. So now I closed the door dash app altogether and I don't need you today tonight, and I'm and I'm like going through with my order, and sure enough I click it, I put the tip in and my hold on so I

get to forty dollars. I actually ordered like a side of Coleslaw to get over the hump to make it from thirty eight dollars to forty so I can reach the threshold. And now I'm saving twenty bucks. I'm like, this is so here. I love over ordered everything. Hit'd enter great. My food you know you follow you follow it on the fucking you know map, Oh my god, my food's here. My food shows up and then I realized after the tip, after I do the tip and everything, and I get my food and I look at the

receipt on the bag and I'm like, wait a second. Cents. I'm like, wait a second, that's like full price. What happened to? So I now go back into the app of past orders, which is now an order that's in the past because they've delivered my food, and I'm looking

at this fucking thing. The receipt in the app had all these fucking charges that they quote took money off four, so it was like delivery fee and then the service fee this feed there was literally four or five is a convenient There was four fucking fees, and the quote twenty dollars went to that it went to canceling out all the extra fees, which they didn't tell me up front.

They just said, I'm getting off of my order. So if I make it to four, if I spent four year dollars my orders twenty bucks, yeah, but I still have to pay the tip and I still have to pay tax. So they added fees on. So my quote money that I got off never went to the actual food because this the fees on Postmates are so exorbitant are so high that all it really is offering you is free delivery. That's insanity. It is insanity. The bill was thirty and change. I'm like, how can this be?

I waited to fourty dollars and I saw the money come off and we went to twenty like this is great? Who twenty plus tip? No? No, no, The money went to all these invisible fees that they didn't really show me up front that they're all great out and shoot. You feel good because it's all crushed out and read and it's like, oh, okay, you saved money on this. Yeah, my twenty dollars that I got off the forty went to other ship and went to like like these inflated

delivery fees, car air freshener for the driver fee. Stupidity. There's and you know some of these places have COVID fees in there too. The building. It is insane. It is insane. That's what you get. You know, you try to do the right thing and you you you bump up your your order and now what you do did you call and complain? No? Race, you suck you nothing listening to this podcast us. But what would I what would be what would my complaint even be this misleading discount?

Misleading discount, Yes, fifty off, it's fifty percent off. They put the discount on the food, right, they said they tied it to the food. They said, order forty dollars in food, gett off your that's right. So I made I literally, I only had like thirty three dollars worth of food. But I'm like, I'm gonna bump it into forty. I ordered a couple of actually I ordered. I was incentivized to make it to forty. The coal slow put

me over the edge. And then it's like boom, it went down to the slaws while into suit the twenties, the sub total, the twenty is a subtital Brodie. And then and they don't they don't really show you all that rest of the stuff unless you click into the goddamn receipt. And I'm like, what did I really see? If the twenty dollars on? So uh scary? I noticed you gain weight because of the COVID uh pandemic, and no law call slaw, No I was. I was trying

to get a discount, so over that son of a bitch. Anyway, So what's your scamboni all right, So um, I was selling and then we got a roll because I got tell me what, tell me what? I'll tell you what you tell me? What your reaction would be when I tell you? The fucking balls on? People? So I'm selling two chairs on Facebook. Okay, there are two chairs. They swivel. I'm getting rid of the chairs. So the chairs, I marked them down. They're much more expensive, not much more.

But then there are a hundred for the two chairs. Okay. This woman hits me up on Facebook and says, how far are you from Princeton, New Jersey? So I said, and she goes, would you consider these chairs comfortable? Sorry? Right back, Yes, they're very comfortable. And here's my town and my zip code so she could figure out the distance from Princeton. Right, that's all you need. Scary, right, because then I'll just go I'll plug it into Google Maps and I'll just see a basic amount of time.

I mean, give or take a few minutes, take a couple of minutes. It's either an hour or it's thirty minutes. But if it's an hour in one minute, it's not going to change your decision. So she says, can you just give me your address? I want to see the distance. So I said, just use the town in the zip code in any map program. It will give you the distance. I said, I'm sorry, but I don't know you. I

don't know if you're serious about the purchase. If you could just please put in the zip code in the town. So then she says, well, it says a minimum of fifty minutes, and I want to come and sit in them first. So I'm thinking of myself, I'm gonna wait around for this woman is sitting them and then leave because you know what's gonna happen. Scary. She's gonna get there and go, oh, I drove all this way. They're

not that comfortable. I give you. She's gonna haggle with you, right, She's gonna do what you would have done if you were on the other end of this transaction. Sure, right, right, So I said to her, you know you're welcome to come, but uh, I'm telling you that comfortable. You know it's

a long trip. So she writes me back, she's well, because I'm coming so far, and because I need to buy fabric and hire an an upholsterer to reef to recover them, I can only offer you sevent She's haggling right there in the so So I said to her, no, thank you. I said, your choice to reapholster is on you. Why should I be paid for your reupholstering. You know

what I mean? That's nerve because she does. If I'm going to buy a car and the guy says to me, it's for the car, can I say to him listen, I'm planning on repainting the car, so I need you to sell to me for eighteen I'm gonna put a spoiler and a hoop tie and a neon on the carriage. I'm gonna put in a new sound system. That's on. That's on me. That's on me. You want to reappuls in chairs, lady, that's on. That's your problem. And why am I paid for She's trying to do some market

ship to your chairs. Yes, she's like, I'll give you a fifty dollars less because it's a long ride and I want to change the chairs completely. Well, look, don't buy them, then, don't drive buy chairs close to your house. If these are the perfect chairs, while you're recovering them, you do you imagine the nerve? So I said, the best I can do. I'll give to the in fifteen, I'll take ten bucks off the tolls. I try to be nice, she says, Now best I can do with

seventy five that's nowhere near the price you're offering them for. Right, I'll give you something. How much was and how she goes? How does she? How does she just chopping that, chopping off fifty and big thinking out gas and tolls and what she wants to pay in upholster to read and fabric. You know yourself, fund yourself on you. So I told that I was sold. I'm like, you know what I just sold him. Suck yourself, maniplest fucking brass balls, fuck yourself,

go fuck you hell fuck he gonna fund yourself? So so so uh so her name's her name is Sally, by the way, Sally. Fuck you what was it? Tracy? Fuck you Tracy, fuck you Bobby Bubbles and fuck you Sally. And fuck you guy who works at the gas station whose name I'm not gonna even try to pronounce, fuck you, go top yourself off. Fuck you postmates, fuck you asshole driver. Yeah, fun you suits that don't fit scary Wait a second,

fuck you coslaw, Fuck you Coaslaw. That's almost the Coastlaws problem. Yeah, you gotta eat healthier, like back when you used delivering DA Boys Brocklan Brocklin, daw Boys, brock Las