#188: Here Comes The Bride (Through The Floor)

And I didn't sleep in my bed for more than one night, I think one night for two nights, very comfortable in my bed. Yeah, I mean your girlfriend was there where else? Was I gonna be right? Yeah, because you know, yeah, she can't resist you. Yeah yeah please, girlfriend smoking hotches, no interest in me, although she finds me funny. Now Mix two of us. I appreciate that. Hey, we had two very different vacations, surprised to no one exactly, so we'll recap that. Yeah, I mean, at some point

in this podcast, I'm still high vacation. It was weird being off because right before you and I started recording, we spent ten minutes asking each other if we told those stories already on the podcasts. How long? Well, it's not only hasn't been that long, but I haven't had anyone to talk to with my stories, so I've been telling other people. So now when I remember them, I'm like, did I tell Scary about the couch? Yeah? I like, I know, I've I've had the conversation. I'm like, I

feel like I podcasted, but I didn't. And by the way, we took off one week right, People were getting very confused because we were saying before vacation on the air. When I say we, I mean not me, you guys, I wasn't on the air. I have been on the air like two weeks. Really three weeks. It's been a while. Um. But when we say we'll see in two weeks, people thought we were on vacation for two weeks. No, if we were on vacation but two weeks, we would say

i'll see in three weeks. Yes, that there is confusion there because of the way the way that we we speak, but but it is in actuality two weeks. If you take one week off les, it's eleven days, but it's like it's the second week because next week we're on vacation and the week after we'll see you. So we'll see you in in the second week. Really, that's why, when when you've skipped things because of the pandemic, which is over about over a year, you said, I'm like,

I haven't done this in two years. If it's a seasonal thing, you know, like, I haven't done that in two years. I haven't been to this place at Jersey Shore in two years, and like, no, what are you talking about. It's been a year. Elmo said something that that's similar to that. He said, I can't believe it's going to be too soon, which it really isn't gonna

between twenty two soon. But his point was it'll be three years since well, it'll only be two years in a month, right, it'll be three years since January, but since it since the calendar had a nineteen on, it onlybe two years in a month in a day. Really, so it's not once. I'm glad we are not next to each other in a studio. I am. I am burping up something hard because I made myself a a spicy crab salad today. I used the jumbo lump crab. Have you ever But first all, do you know that

there's a there's a big difference in canned crabs. I mean there's a no hold on, a second hold on. Okay, I never knew this really, Okay, I know that forget about softshell crab and the stuff that you catch in the water. I'm talking about for most of us, we have to eat crab out of a can. No jokes, please, well, dad, jokes go Well the crab. If the crabs have gotten to the can, you're in big trouble. Whole inch and

a half if you have crabs on your can. So no, but there's different grades and different levels, and they're different so like there, but they're a certain like the cheaper ones you're supposed to use for to make crab cakes out of. Because it's blended, it's more fine. Whatever. But then as you get up the ladder of crab, this chicken get expensive. There's this place, there's this there's this company.

I guess it's the Epicure whatever it is. They do a one pound can and that fucking thing is thirty five epis something epiccac Epicure, it's it's lump crab. And and of course the more it's that means it's a continuous piece of crab. It's like getting a chicken nugget versus a piece of chicken. Right, so when you open up this shredded chicken reform, right when you open up this can it which would apparently last for like two years in the refrigen. It's gotta be refrigerator. By the way,

you can't get it off the shelf. It's not room temperature. You this thirty five can of crab. You just open it up and then it's like these beautiful jo and continuous pieces of crab, almost like it's fresh out of the water. So I understand you get in this case, you get what you paid for. But I said, I want to do a male less salad, crab salad. So it called for brody. It called for horseradish and onions at chopped onions and celery and lemon juice and mustard

olive oil. So I mixed it all together. The problem you sounds like justin timber Lake at the end of that song reference. Oh, I thought you were a yeah, but the end of the justin Tilake so an awful. But I will say so, I'm like, you know, what is he hanging it up, by the way, is justin done? No, he'll be back. I think he's just taking a break. I think he's out of the pop world. Now he's on hyenas. Yeah. Is he gonna be Britney's new conservator? You know what they're more? You know he did speak

in defense of her recently. Yeah, because he screwed her over and treated her like crap and threw under the bus. Who knew all that time? Yeah? And then you know that she cheated on him though, going to the Crimeer River video. She cheated on him. It's right there in the video. The girl in the video looks like her. Didn't he apologize for that? Yeah? He said he got

got Google Google. But so anyway, long story short about Yeah, I really I must say, um, it don't ruin great crab by trying to do fancy footwork and get around like the mayo and the regular stuff that you would put in a crab salad or whatever. I ruined the fucking thing. I war thirty dollars worth the crab because I made this concoction of a dressed guy who yells at me for putting ketchup on a good steak. Yeah, you're that guy. You put seventy five ingredients on top

of pure lump crab. Dude, you put butter on it. You can pull a garlic. What about it's cold. It's cold you anyway. So now now this concoction, I ate it and I'm burp ing. I'm burping up a storm. It's repeating on me. I gotta tell you, Uh, the crab dip at Costco it's fantastic. Now does it come like that, like comes like just heating up and heat

and surf kind of thing. Well, it's in a plastic container and it's you know, it's got it's it's basically I'm gonna say to me, it's mayonnaisey and shredded crab and other things. I know that it's. It's other types of like, um, what's the one they always throw in there? Uh whiting and like a couple of things that like crab esque. Right when you see the crab in the containers, it's like imitation crabming has that red stripe on it. They spray paint that ship. Don't eat that ship, don't

don't buy that. Oh you're talking about spy. You're talking about crab with the k and the crab stick crusty, the crab crompsy, the crab, the crab stick that they use in like sushi. That's fake. That's fake ship. It's like they spray painted pickures. It's red. It's red on the outside and white on the inside. It's not real. Anyway, you don't have to text me about tweet me rather about the thing that's the mostly in crab. It'll come to me. My point was, I still love it anyway.

Shop Right, which is a huge grocery store chain here in the area, huge, huge area. Um, they have a crab dip that is similar right, it's about sixty five percent is good as the Costco one. And by the way, the Costco one is only available in some locations the fun Costco. Like, you go to one, they don't have it. You go to the other one they have it all the time. I've got on my way fifteen miles the other direction you'll walk. I would, So I was like,

you know what Costco near me didn't have it. I was I was craving it on vacation, right, you know, the holiday weekends coming up, all the crab dip. So I go to Shop Right, doing my shopping as as you do. And I go to the the seafood area, which is right the deli counter, and they have all the dips you dip by dip, we dip. They don't have any crab dip, but they've got lobster dip. So I'm gonna lobster dip A pillow extra four it if

it's lobster dip. Whatever. So I look at the lobster dip and they look at the ingredients, not because I care what kind of fishes in it, but I want to see, like if this celery and ship. I don't eat in there, right, I just want whatever the white creamy mayonnaisy stuff is and the seafood, right, I don't want chopped up minced ship. I don't want red onion in there. I don't want scallions. You know me, you'll

know me. Well, it's filler, you know it. Also it also makes fluffs it up, fluffs it up, and they can charge more because you're they're giving you more volume, but there's less of the quality stuff in there I want. I thought I took a picture of it, and I don't think I took a picture of it because I wanted to read the label because no joke the first nine ingredients, eight or nine ingredients. We're not seafood Nazi food like the Germans, like like Hitler used to Nazi food.

You said, Nazi food. Oh boy, on a Jewish New Year week, you're making Nazi jokes. Ba Shanatova Tova l Shanna Tova Brody. And by the way, thank you for not using doing the Russia homa joke for Russia Shanna Russia. How Jews are Russia homa? Yeah, thanks for not doing it this year. I appreciate that. First time in twenty five years, I didn't do. You know, Elvis played that out Today's scary last week that you told him stopped doing It's offensive scary. Didn't do that? Where did all

the Jews going there? Russia? Russia homa for Russia Shawna, Yeah, Wellshava does that mean happen here? Yes, means have a good year, have a good year, and good Yeah, it means good holiday, really good holiday. Well yeah, okay, so I'm the ingredients wore like xanthium, gum, sugar, uh, some kind of like paste, guar like guar gum zum, all of it scary And then eighth or ninth ingredient was whiting, which is like ship fish. It's fish. So what brand

was this? I don't know, shop Bright like it was like, you know whatever. It was like old Bay or old Fisherman, old Old Steve's Fisherman, anchor like some some sea bearing term generic bullshit, scary. I couldn't. I stopped reading it by the third line, No lobster in that fucking thing. It should have said lobster esque. It should have said like hint of inspired by lobster people. I was thinking

about lobster essences. They took by the can. They actually took a perfume bottle with lobster essence and they sprayed it on. You know, people do. Lot of people don't realize that that that ingredients labels. It's from most to least. So the first thing is the most of what's in it. Um. Now it's funny you bring this up because um um on a tweet thread we had last week. UM, I wanted to say hi to read him again. Oh, Hi

him again. We love her. She's great. Um. So Highway explore, you know, put the picture up of the fair Life milk, you know where it was classic you know classic white, and he was pointing out the well, if it's classic white milk, obviously it's it's that's milk. They don't have to say classic white. But Rita reads the label and goes on to say naturally flavored with other natural flavors. What does that mean? What does that mean? Is that like a little less than over a minute? But this

is a classic clip of all. Now now read a good eyes and and great point. However, I learned this from Dr Roz, and I'll educate the world right now that that term is actually legit. It's not like a what do you call It's not, you know, a bullshit Now the actual okay, there is. So what's trying to say is there is a natural flavor to it, but

it's loaded with other junk. So when you unk other when you see Dr Oz told us this, whenever you see any package that says natural flavors, that is that is the f d a's legal permission for that prom client or that that product to load it with shit that's not natural. So natural flavors doesn't mean anything. So it means so it's actually a little less alarming, but

it's legally approved by the FDA. It's a way of tricking you by adding things other than milk, so which means that product is even worse than you think because it has things like ribo flavoring and xanatan gum and go our gum and carried gene and so those are the quote natural flavors that they speak of, you understand.

So so Rita wasn't wrong in pointing it out, but it is correct When it says naturally flavored with other natural flavors, it's it's saying, yeah, it's milk and then there's other ship so yeah, but but yeah, but it is it is, it is proper, and that's the way that they get away with it. And think of how many things, dude, you know your chicken, Your chicken has natural flavors written on it, some some of it if

it's poor quality on the package. Think of there's so many things that have a natural flavors that a lot of juices have that a lot of you know, a lot of sodas and things natural flavors. They want you to think that. It's like you know that that that lime made is is just is really lime juice, But it says and other natural flavors. That means it's garbage. Sorry. Sorry, that's sorry. I was just so basically, there was natural essence of lobster. Yes, and this ship in your ship Congratulations,

you've got a can of ship on ship podcast. I wanted to find a tweet. I usually a screenshot everything and put it in a folder. Um, I can't find who started it, but I will. I want to give them credit and slap them across the face at the same time. Oh here it is uh speaking of things that are in things, right, I'm not going to ruin it for people. So I'm going to tell you the doctor at Dan Rich, who's a regular tweeter Dr Seoul Nope, Nope, regular tweeter big listen to the podcast. So I have

nothing but love for him. But here's here's my complaint. Sometimes when you know something is disgusting, you don't have to tell the other person. By the way, you know this ship there that you'd find disgusting. Okay, so I'm gonna I'm gonna get specific. I'm not gonna get that specific, get specifically. You know, there's a type of of food that I like. It's a fruit. Okay, I don't know if you saw the saw the tweet. So I'm gonna leave. I'm not gonna. I don't want to. I don't want

to be that guy. So this person knows I like that fruit and says, you know, look, if you guys want to know, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. If you guys want to google it, go google it. I'm not rooting it for you, I tell you, and I want to want to be that guy. I want to tell the story because I don't make sense to people. Don't Okay, I'm gonna it'll make sense. Trust me. I'm

a storyteller by nature, not because I hate you. So he says, I don't know if you know this, brody, but that fruit you like it's not actually a fruit. It's partially regurgitation of wasps, and the wasps die inside of the part that you think is the fruit, and so when you eat it, you're eating wasp parts, parts of wasps. I heard that. I heard that. I have been eating a product with that fruit my whole life. Love it. I love it, even though some people go,

you should beat that. Old people what it? Love it. I like the fresh version of that fruit, but it's the same thing. But the thing if you know I like it. Don't tell you know, you who you tell it to. You tell somebody you like that fruit, and they go, I hate that fruit. You guess what good thing? You hate it? Because I just found this out. You don't go, oh, you like that, Let me shoot on your dreams. That's what you did. That's what you did

to me. So I appreciate the knowledge. But okay, so, but is it true or is it just an old wives tale? Nope? I made that. So what I did was, I said, this can't be right. It's got an old wives tail or an old wasp tail. So I looked it up. I did the Google. It's true, it's true. I knew it. I knew it too. I learned that in Singapore when I was on a trip. Did they eat some unusual food in the Singapore area? And you know it? So it's just just let everybody know what

it is. I'm not you people go around eating wasp bags in their fruit. You know what, if you want to know, you could google what fruit has wasps in it? That's it dead was And by the way, now that now that now that I I am remember you know now that when I think about eating this fruit and I'm crunching down on it. It is makes crunchy noise. Those are old dead wasps and wasp bags. That's what

I'm eating. It's it's it's inside the fruit. No, those are the little grainy nut things that you don't see that. I looked up the size of it. You can't see it. You don't see that. You know that half of all the chocolate we eat chocolate, don't do it? Don't don't nope, nope. Think of how chocolate is made, Brody, I know chocolate is made in giant that's yes. I know huge drums, not the size of like the size of like your house. I know, like swimming. So you don't think you know,

I don't think. No, I don't think. I don't think that. I hate you. I hate you being mixed around. It's all being mixed around. It's all. When I eat a chunky bar, it's legitimately chunky full of stuff. I'm telling you, guys, you can google this. This is not again. Once again, this is not a fun when I'm working with you. Look, there's a degree. There's an amount of lobster dip didn't have wasp in it. There's an amount of vermin. There's an amount of vermin in our chocolate, no, and and

and candy because they're attracted to sweet things. Bees and flies and all kinds of rodents and insects well not well, not rats, but the insects. Everything they get into when they're making in these factories, and the huge vats they get into, the the candy, the chocolate when it's in liquid. Four but present. Listen, you know what, when you're sleeping, you swallow like seventy five spiders a year. I'm making that number up, but that's what happens. That's life, man.

I will go to bed at night thinking about it. If okay, if I'm gonna, if I'm gonna fucking pool what I like I was last weekend. I'm sitting in a pool and then about maybe ten feet away is a woman and her kid, and they're in the pool and the kid is literally taking water and spitting it in the in the mother's face and spitting back and forth. Technically, I'm swimming in that same water no matter how far away I get. It's the same concept with that's why

my own pool. And don't invite anybody like you over by the way, I'll talk about my pool. Now, I I how I invited you over. But I was a certain day I did this part of my stand up routine that I haven't done stand up in forever, and I never did this. I wrote it, but I didn't do it. Was it was sort of because it seemed

like too much like you might be a redneck. If you're in a swimming pool and a gross band aid washes up next to you, you get the hell out of the pool, but you don't at a water park, right right, If you see a kid like it loaded diapers in the pool, you get out, but you don't at a water park like all the things that are like you see someone with an open wound in a pool, like, you get out. You don't want to be like that nick person's like scamby and bleedy. But in the water park,

you know, you don't. You accept it all because you paid good money to get in there, and you want to go down that damn slide. So you're like you're and you're in the wave pool and you see ship floating by, you normally be like, oh, I gotta get out of this fucking thing. You see guys spitting water at each other and like yeah, but think about it. Scary the water goes up your ass in a in a pool, right because of everybody's ass, So you're sharing.

I'm sharing asswater with you every time I'm standing in a pool, which is why I don't spit water in a pool, because that water has been on your tits, your tits, your man Tit's scary, like no offense. It's been in your pits. I'm not spilling. I don't care who the chlorine kills it really, really, that's what you think. That means. Everybody is sharing. Everybody is sharing everybody's water because crack water. Crack water, Yeah, I get it. Yeah, who who? Who? Juice? It's all there Yet the pep

you were the one who went there. I wasn't gonna I'm gonna stop right. They tell you what fruit it is, but I'll tell you about the pool. That's why my own pool. I got swimming in my own pool. I spit water all I want. Because now can you can we talk about how how you completely you invited me

on the absolutely worst day to go swimming. Yeah. So a Hurricane Ida, as you know, destroyed the South, but it also unfortunately did a big number on the northeast New Jersey, uh, New York area, probably Pennsylvania as well, especially in the New Jersey area that's south right near Pence, like near Philadelphia, a tornado hit destroyed huge homes. So I'm not making it, and I'm before I tell you the story, I want to make it. Make it clear.

Every man's tragedy is his own tragedy, right, Like if I stubbed my toe, I know other people have cancer. I'm just telling you my toe hurts. So I know people lost a lot. I'm telling you that all I had damage to my house was my pool, which you guys should have seen on my Instagram at David Brodie. Yeah, which I know you all even because I only have like three thousand likes on it and we have way more listeners than that, so check it out. Um, So

the storm. Normally, when is a storm, I'll run out and let water out of the pool periodically, like every hour of a half hour, depaying how hard it's raining. I'll run out to the pool and I'll let water out. But I wasn't home right. I was in Central Jersey, which is normally about a forty fifty minute drive home. Well, in the rain, it took me three hours because there

was major flooding. There was lane closures. There were cars that was stopped dead in the water in the right lane, and then everyone had to like scooch around in the left lane to get around it. Then where the underpasses dip again, you dip by dip crab crab. You had to get off, do the loop, the loop, take the streets, and get back on on the other side of the overpass. So it's a lot of like going through other people's neighbors.

You were pretty much fucked well. Not only that, and thank god for my navigation system when I got off the parkway, and if you could, if you want to tweet me, because this I need help with. I didn't google it, so I'm interested in knowing the side streets I had to take. A lot of cars were parked at an angle, like at a forty five degree angle at the curb. Now I don't know if the water pushed them all away from the curb, but they were all parked as if they were like pulling out and

then stopped. And then there were cars just stopped in the middle of the street and people got out left. There was no water, they just got out of the car and left middle of the street. So there were roads blocked by cars that just stopped. And people are like, fucking, I'm getting out. I can't find a parking space. I'm leaving it here. So it was a nightmare. So when I got home, Um, no one in my house was

home but me, right, Um they were. My family was visiting friends a couple of blocks away and they didn't want to travel in the weather. So I get home and my backyard, the water in my pool is over the top and the water is now rushing like a river across the deck of my pool. From from left to right. Now the way my neighborhood is my street. At the end of my street is a main road. Okay, main avenue, and one side of the avenue where all the all the houses are is a hill. All the

houses are on a hill. It's a mountain. Okay, my side is level ground. But what happens is the water rolls down the big hill across the avenue and then through our back yard. That's right, It was about to happen that I have a liner. I have an in ground pool with a liner. I can't have a concrete pool in my backyard. I'm not allowed, you know, allowed because there's so much water pressure so it will pop the concrete out. So my pool has was filmed with um.

All the dirt from my neighbor to the left in my pool. So it was pitch black and I had tree limbs and branches just mayhem in my pool. That was Wednesday night. I can't do anything. Wednesday was raining. All that was the night you invited me over. I say, come over over, and come over comes swimming, so you can't say I never invited you. So it took me three days and I'm surprised. Like I've had my pool now for twenties something years. I would have play that

same logic, by the way, with your steak dinner. You watch Oh you take me the steak dinner when you're in Costa Rican exactly, So I used I I did a little flocking shock. So if you have a pool, you should know where flock is. It's flacculent, which sounds like a sexual term, but it's for sure it's called flock. When when the flock meets the water, it's the fan. What Yeah, it clumps, right? Is it like a clumping formula?

So what you do is you put the flock in a couple of hours before you shut your filter off at night. It circulates around the pool for a couple hours and then you turn the filter off. The whole of the pump everything uh and an overnight it all clumps and draw the bottom. Brilliant, it's brilliant. Whoever invented flock, I bless you, they're probably not living anywhere. Basically dirt glue and so your water is mostly crystal clear, except it's got little algae algae tint to it because you

had little tree points. So how do you get that part out? Well, once you vacuum the pool, right, you get the dirt out of the bottom. You just you just over chlorinate the pool and run the filter and it gets the green out. So it took me. It took me two and a half days of work on it. But now my pool is cleaner than it's ever been all season. It's shiny, it's clean, it's clean. Yeah. But you yeah, I wanted you to come over. Yeah, thanks,

so question so clean clean, clean clean. But I was saying I had a week before you hit the commercial jingle. By the way, if you played a brody and scary jingle because I keep hearing the scary and Brody, I always rotate. Okay, all right, rotate um. I did have another story about a bad experience this week on my vacation. Vacation, vacation. I want to talk about vacation, That's what I'm saying, because vacation was first of all, just list all the places you were at, all right. I went to day one,

I'm just gonna go broad stroke. Went to Delray Beach, Florida. You know, I was hanging out at the Seagate Hotel and spa client. Yes, okay, God got that out of the way quick. Uh. And then after that I came. I went from there. They paid for my second flight. Kids, keep in mind, they have to they have to fly me in, they fly me back. So I'm like, well, if they fly me to a second place, why not,

why don't I do that and use that as the flight. Aha, that's being smart and that's using their money on my behalf. So I said, fly me to Costa Rica from here, which, by the way, it was only two hours from Florida. So rather than fly back to New York and then have a five hour flight, I let them them pay for a two hour flight from there right to Costa Rica that some of friends came on dude the Friday though, cutting it close coming back I fly. I flew back

into Newark Airport, landed at four fIF pm. I had to be at a wedding in Queens at that place Russo's on the Bay, which I have to I wanted to talk about. Um, that's what I wanted to mention. At six fifteen for cocktail hour, Brody, thank god for global re entry. I have all the bells and whistles, I have t s, a pre check, I have anything. I carried my bag on the flight because I knew I didn't want to wait at the baggage carousel. WHOA, you didn't have someone carry a bag for you? Are

you okay? No, Brody, I'm I brought my bag on the flight. I packed lightly and I brought my bag on the flight so I would I literally quick on, quick off off the plane, voop right through you know customs immigration. With the global re entry, that's like the fast pass. And then I had a car waiting for me because I scheduled it because I didn't want to

wait no fucking taxi line. Because I had to get home only to sit in three hours of fucking traffic because I forgot it was Friday, going into Labor Day weekend and it was the middle of rush hour. So I came home, took a quick shower, changed into my suit to go to this wedding on Friday, and then I got fucked and I sat in my car for two and a half hours trying to get there. Um. And then then after that I went to the Jersey Shore,

which was that was part four of my vacation. Uh. But but one thing I wanted to pause on, and that is the wedding Shenanigans, the brody. We've all seen it, at least we have in the Northeast. I don't know who's familiar, who's listening to this podcast, but people tend to how do we describe this? We we go overboard with weddings, um, with the bride, the groom, They get a want to say anything. I thought it was I

thought the video you posted there was. I thought that first of all, we could go into listen, it's all in good fun. Listen God bless Marina and Vinny. This is and this was the couple I told you that had the we this is part two of the wedding, because it was part one was back in May. So this was the big reception, the one with hundreds of people, the big I wanna say it gumba Guido like mobster like get together a place. Don't use that didn't say that,

you know it's there's a place called Russo's. I'm painting a picture. Russo's on the Bay super Italian. It's Cross Bay Boulevard russ Its name is Russo Okay, and they got bub bron, they got rice balls and meat balls and fried trimp and gallama. Nothing but wonderful things about that. People go there. Food is outrageous. However, by I'm changing what I said before, everything's fantastic. So here's the one thing. And I don't know who if there's bride Zilla's listening

or if you've done this, please don't be offended. Wouldn't it be bride Zillow's yo yo? So when after the cocktail hour, they always there's always the next room where they sit down to to sit down dinner, and there's always a DJ, a very over zealous DJ on the mic and try to was saying for the first time, as you know and they always do. They do that. Now, well, they have the people walking into the room led by

Deborah Joe. It's John the you know, you know grooms Ben John cousin John, and they come into some crazy song let's get it started in here or nowadays Brodie I came into a parody, I wrote at the wedding.

At the weddings, they do the the the the all the bride's bridal party comes into like like doing funny things like one like the the bride, the bridesmaid will come running into the room first, and then the groom will like throw a football pass at her and then like you know, and then and they'll walk in together. But they'll or they'll do a dance or they'll do some crazy you know, some kind of funny ship. So that's like the newer thing that they do when they

were entering the room. But then it comes time for everybody to rise and then for the first time as husband and wife, they announced the couple into the room. And we've been there before. However, if you've been to a Brooklyn Queen's Long Island Northeast Italian wedding, a lot of these catering halls that specialize in this stuff. The bride and groom, they don't enter from the they don't enter from the same doors as the rest of the bridal party. Oh no, they enter from the floor below.

The dance floor has a has a has a carving, a circular carving in it that just looks like a design. But what really is is an elevator. Now, Brodie, I know you have a lot to say on this, but when they say and now, now, I would imagine they were given the couple was given a choice. Do you want to enter the room like the rest of your bridal party, like through the doors, or do you want

to do the fancy bells and whistles? Was it the father and the no, the bride and the groom, And remember the video that well so and then so they come. So it was like it was like a cylindrical, cylindrical, cylindrical thing comes twisty from combined Calandra's restaurant with cylindrical the the cylindrical designed dance floor now is rising and before your very eyes, the it's it realized it's a fucking elevator from the floor below that they got into.

And then it kind of on a twist and very slowly, it makes its corkscrew way up to the main level, where they are greeted with fog machines and lights and lasers, and the new couple enters. They literally enter from the floor below you. It's it's crazy and they come up from the floor. Yeah, okay, So my problem, My problem is videos. Okay, so no, no, look it's not my style,

but I said I think it's a fun entrance. My problem is it took eleven minut It was a slow elevator ride up from they know, for safety reasons whatever, you know, strapped them in and speed the thing up. Because it's by the time they got to like ground level, you'd be hungry and you're like, okay, Mr and Mrs. Now hold on, scary hold on Mr and Mrs. For the first time. Mr Vanny, it's so of course it is name is Vanny. Here you ready? Here comes here

they come. Remember, please wish them a happy first anniversary. From the time they got into the thing, they've been married a year. It was like there you could see their heads. It was like, okay, I can see their shoulders now a pause. It was like like you see the head of the baby and they have to wait, it was so slow at that point. There's no it's gotta be like, you know, it's gonna be like it's out like beat me up, Scotty, come up quickly. There should be like a cloud of smoke and then like

the side curtains dropped. It's got to be like the drive through teller at the bank with the tube the right. They should slide the tube out on the floor. There should be like a cloud of smoke, and then the curtains on all the side they're there like we're both a light. Right. This was like here we come and you know, there's a guy in the basement cranking it like, yeah, it was a little it was the moment had passed. I don't know. I guess it was a little the

Viennese table had passed, had passed. It was an anticlimactic moment, right, And I don't have a problem with the entry. It just it was well some listeners did because I posted that on my I G and everyone's like yo seven called they want their moves back, you know, because I mean it's been a known thing that you know, some of these cantering halls have done this. It's been an idea that's been done over and over again. I thought

it was wonderful. It's all she ever wanted and she got her day and she got so I thought it was I thought it was a fun wedding. I'm just saying. The elevator was slow, That's all I'm saying. Um So that was that Brooklyn Catering Halls famous, the Grand Prospect Hall, the Grand Prospect On the gaudiest look if you were married there. I apologize, but it's like mirrored Florida ceiling with like gold everywhere. It's you know so, but the people you'll hear the accent. I'm gonna play the commercial

for you there. They have a very unique accent unless you're from there, in which case it's not unique. And uh,

I want you to listen to them and people. This was a commercial us to run in New York like one in the morning, but on cable TV for years, but like decades, and it's the same commercial always looked like it was filmed in nineteen eighty and and the special effects, you know, how like the picture would like like it would flip and flip and flip and fly away, and like you know, like you learned in school, had to like do a wash where the picture slides to

the right, another pictures behind it, like the most basic, awful editing. But here's the audio. Hold on, wait, do I remember the line we make your dreams come true? Here we go about it. It's betting, carefully planned and here is the most important. That's not the one of your life. I think that's not the couple. No, hold on, they're in the picture come true, prosper Hall seven one eight seven eight eight oh seven seven seven. Yeah, that's the short one. That's the short version of it. But

dreams come true? Yeah, they went out of business the other on. Oh, I gotta a skip ad. God damn with the skip ad. But bro, do you the follow up to that story have something for you? Grand prosper Hall you stinking out again? Yeah? They're boy last year's weddings. Fence the balls and banquets here advice is that like SuDS the Mahom restaurant and duplicated. I got handers for brides and grooves and brosp holl middles are broken all

seven eight all seven seven seven. I like to go minutes away in Brooklyn, minutes where I live, right, you could be in Westchester. I'm so I'm coming from Philly minutes away? How many minutes? Seven? Six? Yeah, but every you know what, everything is minutes away, the moons minutes away, he said, to figure how many minutes? And now. So the follow up on that story is they're tearing it down or didn't someone buy it? Somebody bought it. Now there tearing it down. That's awful. That places a piece

of Brooklyn a slice of Americana. David is something. Anyway, that was only one part of my vacation. But you know, you know, my my my highlight was using the toilet paper on at bar a, which is quite that. So let me fast forward. I don't want to bore everybody with by vacation details. But when I got back, I did a bar a gig at down the Jersey Shore with with the radio stage. I feel like you should almost hit the jingle there. I feel like, alright, So

Bacardi ardy legend in the business. The guy is full of tricks. The guy dresses. You might have seen a viral video of him. He dressed up as the cheese Burglar once jumped on the bar and started throwing out cheeseburgers. Real mcdonald' cheeseburgers they had gotten like fucking three giant bags full and throwing it out to a very hungry, drunk crowd. This is what Baccardi already does. But he's

been in the business since the eighties. He actually used to work a little fun fun fact, he used to work on the street team of Z one Radio in New York in the mid eighties. You know, he recently got into a fight. I saw it on the news because yeah, with Malibu still two of them were fighting. Anyway, he is he is an m C and he's full of tricks and fun in games and especially when he's given a budget, so he always goes over the top.

But but one of the things that me and the Jersey kid Greg T were remembered so fondly that was created at Bar a Gregg T. And I was when we used to go on stage there. I mean, I'm going back years. But Cardiardy was there back then, and he was there this past Saturday night of course. Uh and he created a toilet paper gun. Okay, he took a leaf blowers. What what night of the week was

this Saturday night? Oh, because on Friday nights, Henny Kenny works well he took a leaf he has a leaf blower, okay, and then he takes a paint a paint roller, spindle strips it of the roller, and then he makes it so that you could put toilet paper on it. When you press the button on the fucking leaf blower, the toilet paper roll fucking unloads at the crowd, you know,

like a ribbon formation, and about maybe twelve seconds. And so back in the day, we used to live for this fucking thing because there was no Greg t and I and everybody. We all used to us Sam Baccarti already invented this. Well, we've all listened to me. We've done these bar gigs all over the city, over all over the place, and we never saw a toilet paper gun. And already's like, yeah, I just made it myself. Well now in Wikipedia now and it says, uh, fireball Paul

made it. Well, all these years later, Bacardi already has perfected the toilet paper gun. This is like toilet paper gun six point oh, Like you remember when you used to have regular water guns. And then the super soaker came out, and then the fucking mega blaster with the fucking engine on it, and the thing. And it's a semi automatic water gun. That's what this leaf blower, that is what this this new uh fangled toilet paper gun is. It is fucking hilarious. It works, it's it's beautiful. It's

the Porsche of toilet paper guns. So I had so much fun with it, and I filmed myself on stage spraying the crowd with toilet paper, and then listeners fucking texted me, I'm getting anxiety because I couldn't find t P for a year, you know, during the pandemic. This is crazy and you're wasting toilet paper. I'm like, come on, we're just having fun. Yeah, that toilet paper shortage is over. Yeah, charming should be happy. No, I see, I didn't have that.

I went to one bar on vacation, but all they had was was jin Vin and he wasn't very entertaining anyway. Bart they threw a hell of a party. The twelve foot balls twelve ft beach balls there to the crowd. How much how much do you think the guy got paid who was working at Bacardi and realized that it rhymes with party. Well that's a great question. Well, because you know McCarty was around for much longer then of course. Well no, no, not forget about already. I'm talking about

like Boccardi parties. Yeah, at some point it was just Piccardi. Right, A bunch of old guys worked there and they made run and they're like some guy had to go you know rhymes with party, right, guy must have made buko dollars. Well, I don't think already made a penny of Piccardi for being Boccardi already. No, he probably owes the money if you've been licensing anyway. So yeah, so that was the you know whatever, what about your vacation, Brody, Enough about

my vacation. I didn't even forget about Costa Rica and the flock of macause that I saw and the black sand beach I went on, and I'm talking about toilet paper guns and rising from the floor at a wedding. Well, let me tell you. Do you want to hear the Uh yeah, I'll tell you two stories happened to me on vacation. One at the at the big actually right before vacation. I'll save that, But let me tell you

how else my vacation was. So, what's today today? We're recording this on when on when they birthday on Wednesday. So Monday, I'm home alone, right, thank you. My daughter is out, my wife is at work, um, and I'm I'm home with the dogs now. One of the dogs is my daughter's dog, and we're watching while she's away, and he's he's a runner. No, he's not been trained yet to not run out. If the door is open, he'll run out and run all over the lawn and you scare, here's the hell out of you. And you're

terrified he's gonna hit by a car. Right, So I go out to get the mail and I see that the siding on my house is filthy. It's got like, you know, like a layer of dirt on and my house is uh is light blue. So there's a guy painting my neighbor's house. So my neighbor moved. He had a yellow house, and the new guy is painting the siding blue, like a medium blue. So this guy's on ladders all all over the house for weeks, painting and fixing the roof. He's putting a lot of money in

before he moves in. Okay, So I'm looking at my house. I'm thinking, God, this house is all clean now because he washed it and painted it. And I have this film layer of dirt on my on my house. You know what, I'm gonna hose down the porch just around the door entrance. You're gonna hose at that house, right, put the hose on the house. So I said, you know what I'm gonna So I go out the front door, and I'm not driving my car, so my house keys

are on my car key ring. I put the keys down because I don't want to get them wet, right, I don't get the fob wet. And I go out and I closed the door. Now I know I'm locking the door so that the dog doesn't run out, because I was like, I'll leave the door halfway. No, I pulled the door closed, and I know I have the code to my garage door where I can get in. And I know that when I'm home during the day, I leave the interior garage door open, not lock it

at night. But you know, when i'mre not home him, I locked them in the way out, but when I'm home that's my way in. So I go out and I hosed down the whole front of the front the house, get it all clean. Them very proud of myself. I got something done on Monday, and I go into the garage with my key code and I go into the garage door. It's a steel door. It's a heavy steel door in my garage, and it's locked. Somehow the little

push button on the other side got pushed in. I don't know if my daughter did it accidentally when she was leaving. I don't know. So I'm like, oh, fuck, all right, so I'll go out and I'll go on back on my deck. I have French doors. Maybe I left them open. Nope, can't get in. I go to

the back door of my house. I can't get in. Well, my wife and daughter don't have keys to the house because they go into the garage or someone's always home, right And my daughter I just lost her key, so she said, oh, can you go to home deep and make me a new key? I want a green one whatever, Like okay, yeah, So on my us to do Tuesday was go to home depot and get keys made. Now you're probably thinking, why don't you have a key in

the garage right in case this happens. Well, I had a key in the garage, but my daughter needed it and she lost it and I never replaced it. So Lesson learned. I'm now trapped. So I called my wife and she says, I think I gave a key to the neighbors across the street because we have their key when they go on vacation, we get their mail. I go across the street. They don't have a key. So I call my buddy. Who who's Mr Toole? Mr Toole's guy. Is he's a tool? No, he's Mr Tools. Here's everything?

So I said, hey, got a crowbar? He says yeah, but I'm going out. I'll leave it outside for you. Well, I'm not my keys. I can't get in my car. I can't drive my car. Everything's in the house and the dogs are in the house barking. So my daughter texts me and says, oh, I left my window unlocked on the top floor because I was looking out the window the other night and I'm pretty sure I left it open. So I go to the guy painting the

house next door on the giant ladder. I say, hey, man, can you uh can I probably ladder for a second and I need to go with my house in the window. So he says, oh, yeah, no problem, no problem. So he puts the big, big ladder up against the house. Scary. You have a climb the ladder to the It doesn't seem like a high thing to do, right until you are halfway up, which is basically now, I'm at window level for the first floor, and you realize you have

to go another level. And I'm sorry, guys, if you're looking at me going and I'm realizing to myself, I then have to open a window and climb in the window from the top of the ladder. I'm not doing that. I suddenly realized I'm not a firefighter. I'm not gonna do it. So I climbed back down and he looks at me, and so he was hispanic. He still is Hispanic. He didn't speak a lot of English. He looks at me, goes, oh, like he knows I'm not doing it. So he goes, he goes, I go, I go. So I go, all right,

I'll give you ten dollars. I'll please just shut up. Man. I had a ten dollar bill in my pocket. So he goes, okay, So I said, just go up and then go down the two staircases and let me in. He goes up and the windows locked. My daughter locked the window right, yes, He goes to the can you checked. So then I'm like, well, already I'm in for ten bucks, right, so can you check the other windows? He checks the other front window locked. I said, I said, can you

can you go on the back? You check my other back So he checks all the windows, bedroom windows all locked. Your daughter, she she forgot that she actually did the right thing and locked the window. Yeah, So he looks at the front window. Now, the front of my house has a picture window and a regular window on both sides right and then and then my door to the house. Right to the left of my my porch is a picture window and a regular window on each side of

the picture window. And he looks in and he says, the window on the right is unlocked, which is weird to me because I'm from Brooklyn. I locked everything, but you're not gonna ask any questions, so I'm just gonna so I So he leaves because I need a little ladder. I get in a little ladder and I can't see the top of the window, but he said it was unlocked.

So I try to lift the storm window up, then the glass window that before the screen, and I shatter it glass because I had a screw driver trying to pry it up because the release is inside, right, the little two clicks the two things you pinch in and it lifts up. So I was like, oh, I'll just use the screwdriver and I'll jimmy it. Nope, cracked window. So then he comes over and he goes, I'll help you, and then he looks. He goes, oh my my, he goes. He goes, yeah, he goes, well, he said again, he

didn't say that. He says, oh uh, he said. I think he said my fault or my bad something like that. The window he is locked, so not over. So now you're just like, fuck it, man, just just punch the rest of the window out and just grab it from You can't get in. You can't. You can't get to that. How did you finally solve this problem? So I call my second friend, who also is a tool guy, because the first guy didn't have the tools, he didn't have

the crowbar, and he was going out. So the second guy says, to meet You know, you can just call the police precinct and they'll come. Now, it's scary. I'm from Brooklyn, right so n y p D. I would never think to call them to get me into an apartment. I'd call a locksmith because the NYPD is like this massive force of police officers patrolling fifty people. I'm not gonna, So he says, called the precinct. I go, there's gotta be something more important for the officers to be doing.

I don't want to bother him, because that's to trust me. If they if they time, they'll do it. So I call the precinct and the officer says, I'll call the fire department. They'll be right over. No, no, no, no, no, don't bother the firefighters. Lane come on, are they gonna, because if they're busy, they'll tell you. But if they're not busy, they come. All right, Look, please tell him not to have the sirens on. Please just tell him to come in like a van. But I feel terrible.

So they shot up to my house in a in a big fire truck right with the lights spinning, no sirens, and three wonderful two men and a woman firefighters get out, and I said, guys, I'm so sorry, don't be ridiculous. We just finished lunch with don't worry about it. Uh, this is what we do. And they took out two screw drivers and they went to my steel door and

he did like a they opened the door. Of course, of course I said that first, Well, you saved your broken window in ten bucks, right, so I never thought to call the fire department. I don't have a cat in a tree to say, but that's what they do. They rescue cats and trees when they when there's no fire. If they have I'd rather have them doing like real stuff. Yeah, but you know sometimes you can, you know, you can call it. Did you tip them? No, they wouldn't take it.

I said, can I guy buy you guys lunch? I was gonna drop off like pizza at the fire Yeah. They didn't want it to which what we do. My point of the story is you never know because I because I reached out to a locksmith, wanted a hundred and fifty dollars just to show up because it was labor day. I'm like, oh fuck labor day. I'm you know what, free labor from the fire department. Well, I wasn't my intention, but yes, my point was they were very helpful and you may get locked out of your

house someday. By the way, that was my vacation Monday Labor Day. My house can't wait to hear the about the rest of the vacation and tell you about the plumber. At some points, Podcast Scared needs your your your opinion on this. Tell me what's wrong if if this stands out to you. I'm at home Depot, uh, and they were they were closing. I was getting keys made Tuesday night, right I finished all my all my stuff I was doing in family stuff, and I ran to home Depot

no Labor Day Monday. Labor day Monday, I went to get to key the same day as the apartment. I gotta get the keys made. I'm not gonna procriss. This is a great ending to your I'm just realizing this. This was the end of your vacation. This wasn't the beginning. Right home Depot right Monday night. So I go to Home Depot and I hear Home Depot will be closing in ten minutes. Please bring bring your final purchases to the register. You know, I've never heard that before because

I've never been to I go. I've been there like three times in my life. You don't go, you go to apartment hunt. I don't. I just don't go to these places. So that the announcement when you've heard this announcement, please bring the final So I went up to the guy behind the I went to the guy at at the register and I said, hey, I had a question for you. What's the difference between please bring your final purchases to the register and please bring your purchases to

the register. Oh god? And he says, you're playing grammar games with these people. Want to go asking. I always wondered that, why, like, what do you mean my final purchases to be bill run up and then at the last minute go back and get more stuff, like you come, we're closing, Come buy your ship. He says to me, you know what, I work here for thirty years. I've

never noticed that. You're right, there's no difference. And he goes up to the next cast here he says, what's the difference, and she goes, I don't know just exactly why are we saying that? And it's actually in their script, right, yes, you have to say it just like that, right, right, Please bring your final purchases because because they don't want

you to bring your purchase final final purchase. Right. Yeah, that's two people run back and ga, I feel like all purchases are final once they passed the register, unless you want to return it at a later date, right, But like, what's yes, that's that's my he was like he's thinking me, he goes, thank you so much. I never that way. Yeah, also bought a couch. You bought a couch. We have this sound here. Should we go into this first? Yeah? I think we should because a

lot of them. You're very very very very heavy on the Mets sound for a team that's out of it and it's going nowhere this season. First of all, they're not out of it. There are four games out. They're not out of it. I'm out of it. I'm out of I'm out of hope. Okay, so let me. I'm gonna tell you what what clips to play because we have a lot here. Um, can you play the pumpkin spice clip? Now? You remember last episode because you listen in order where I said I talked about pumpkin spice.

It doesn't that pumpkin in it. There's no pumpkin spice. I apologize. One of our listeners tweeted at me and said, I saw that that's wrong. Dunkin Donuts, UH coffee has the pumpkin spice. Latte has pumpkin in it. Now, that may be the case, but I didn't say pumpkin spice. Latte's don't have pumpkin. Pumpkin spice doesn't have pump Pumpkin spice is just that a spice. So last night on Late Night with Seth Myers, play the clip because You'll

be dead from cinnamon poisoning. Second, what that is? Pumpkin spice don't taste like punk and it tastes like all the garbage you have to put on pumpkin. It tastes like anything. It's like referring to butter as lobster spices. Very true, Thank you, set Yes, I think he's listening to our podcast. I think so. I think that's where they're getting their ideas from. Play so scary. What's that thing you know when when something stands out like it's

a it's a special special thing like a star. Yeah, Like, what's that call with an A? Like that's gonna have a asterisk? Right, aster risk asterisk? This clip is Ron Darling Yale graduate hit it talking about an asterisk and the directord books. He said, asterick now record books aster rick or aster rix with an X both wrong? Yeah, terrible it's risk at the end, and you said it right, scary very of course, asterisk I know that. Come on,

I'm a grammar guy from way back. I want you to listen to this home run call and then listen to the fan. This is on on television. You can hear a fan at the end of the clip before they cut him off. It says a fan in the stands, listen after the home run call. With an opposite field home run and the Mats that lead five to three, Wow, what a fucking what I think he was gonna say. I don't know, because with an opposite field home run and the Mats that lead five to three. Wow. And

by the way, that's what happens. That's what happens when nobody's there at the game and you could hear anything anyone said. It was a Mets national game in Washington, so it was I guess it was someone who wasn't happy the Mets at home run. Okay, so uh, let's let's see we have the All Star State a state rather and the bullpen stuff. This is a clip of Gary Cohen, who's the straight laced main announcer, and Keith Hernandez, who is a legendary baseball player who's a great announcer

and was on Seinfeld. Don't know if you saw the two part episode The Spinner. Keith is great, but sometimes Keith loses focus. I have a couple of clips of Keith losing I love Keith the record. He is hilarious and he could do no wrong. My favorite was the clip where he had to apologize after the break because I guess they were doing one of those opening shots of you know, in between innings, and there was there was a hot girl as a hot girl with like a tight T shirt on cut off t shirt the

Padres game, and there was a woman in the dugout. Yeah, yeah, and then the camera was on. He just wants the little lady doing the dugout or he goes another time. He was just being a perfuse my old look at that. Yeah, but the little lady or something like that doing in the dugout. They gotta get he out of there before the inning starts. Turns out she's a coach. The coach

he you know, he's he's old school. So they're doing a read like we do you do commercials, right, They're doing a commercial for one of the sponsors, which is all State. What is the slogan for all State All State? Well, I represent state farm because like a good neighbor, state farm is there? So like a good neighbor state farm is there that that state farm All State is. You're in good hands with all States. Play the clip of Gary doing the read and Keith chiming in. That was

your All State good hands play. Welcome back. Luiski Ormy first started five weeks and he's already showed off the d It's always good to be a good neighbor. Don't wait. Good good hands kids, good good hands. Yes you should know about good hands. Don't say anything else. Just focus on that part of the clip because I got so so he's doing the commercial All State that they're about to make a kid goes so it's going to be

a good neighbor. It looks like All State is gonna be getting some free commercials from the Mets Berry soon. That's like doing a McDonald's commercial. I'm going, Wow, that's a whopper. Now, now Barry to Night clip play Mets all State too, because this made me laugh out loud and you just heard it. Did back. Luiski or he first started five weeks and he's already showing off the df D. We're twelve year old boys, Okay, so sticking with Keith hernandez uh just we have a podcast just

on this guy. This is just this week. So I want you to listen to Gary Cohen talking about the how the Mets bullpen hasn't let any runs in since the starter was out. All of the relievers have pitched scoreless innings. Go ahead, play the first clip that's bullpen's been impeccable today four innings or three and two thirds things, no runs, no hits. And then about a minute later, play Keith, do you know what? I just want to scare freaking me if I'm wrong? You met bullpen today?

If Diaz gets the last out, there'll be uh four and two thirds innings pitched with no hits? Right, yeah? Am I wrong? Nobody and nobody mentioned that until that. I just I'm looking at the summation of the game. Here, my god, did you mention it? The Sota nothing at a long you mentioned it. You gotta speak up. I love you, Keith, speak up. I just noticed I wasn't paying attention on boys. Oh it's good stuff. Care that is hysterically. I got one more, one more Keith this week,

So the Mets haven't pitched. He just repeated everything he said, Yeah, you know, okay, So Taiwan Walker pitches for the Mets. T A I j U A n Taiwan Okay, good picture for the Mets. Gary starts talking about him, and then Keith chimes in, go ahead. Than Walker leads off for the Mets of the second after a wild first inningrone batting left hand tyrone. We gotta get this guy some focus. Fact there. T Wan Walker leads off for the Mets in the second after a wild first inning

Tyrone batting left handed. The guy has been on the team since since February. February marks, yeah, so I got one more clip. This is This sounds like the soundtrack to a porn movie. Now it's actually W. B. Mason. But the guy, the big burly guy, says, I'm right here, and then listen to horror and a couple of women in the clip, and see if it could sound like a porn movie to me? Go ahead? Where where he should put it? Go ahead? Um, I don't have it. You have W. B. Mason? No, I know, we don't

have it. I'll play it off my phone. Hang on you I have eight clips and we've used it all. Here we go, hold on, here we go. Can you sure here or here or even here? Oh my god, that does sound like porn. Yeah, you can put it in. Can you put it here? Yeah? How about here? And how about even here? Every time I see it, that was when we had it was like when we had Rachel Ray cooking clips. And then if you don't, we're not watching TV. You don't know what she's doing. She's

actually chopping things up, like cucumbers and things. And then just all you do is hear her and go, oh yeah, that's gushy, Oh that's squeeze. Oh yeah, look at that. It's a little slimy right there. I gotta get that part out. Yeah, you never know, you know, you never know. That's like the old the old threes Company joke. We're

not gonna go there. This is the seventies reference when when they would actually mistake people for having sex and doing sexual things in the next here through the door, Like usually it's Jack Tripp or the main character who's listening in, and then like someone else is in there with someone else, but they're doing something completely different. You know, they're you know, they're basting the turkey and they're like, oh, shove the base through this, shove it this way. You're

in there in the rubbed the breast. And then they barge into the kitchen like what is going on in here? And they're like making it and they're like, we're making a turkey. Yeah, exactly. Hey, I got this text message today. We got this text message at the morning show. It says, what is the number phone number for the show? I pointed that out to Elvis. I tried searching and it only shows radio station numbers. So I said, you searched for it? Did you google what is the number for

the Elvis Durant show? Because when you do that, it says why would you not do that? So I didn't want to like be an asshole and go what exactly did you search for? But what did you search? What did you search for? And then, by the way, when people say, oh, every morning when you guys are recording your show, like, no, we we don't record our show. We do live, like we never recording our show. We don't record. Yes, we we make a copy of recording,

copy of it, but we're not recording our show. We record this podcast because you're hearing you're not hearing you in real time. But our radio show is we don't go in the studio and record our show. And well, here's the thing. At the beginning of the of the show at six am East Coast times, this program prerecorded. That's for legal reasons. You know what's prerecorded, the music and the phone taps. Well, the music, of course is

pre and the commercials. Yeah, but as far as the content, the phone taps are prerecorded because we have to beat them and edit them. That's that's it. But legally that's what the government wants now or wanted a year and a half ago. Were today years old when you found that one out? And if you know, yeah, we got two kids. We got two text messages here today for the show, which we will go over after this. David, I think you're getting paid for hitting the commercial button,

that's what I think. No, I'm just being told we have to hit the commercial Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, we were told we haven't hit the commercial button enough, so now we're we're trying to hit the commercial button. So I think two people were today years old when they learned something and I'm again, it's just the world we live in. It's not a sign of not it's not it's I'm not making fun of these people. I'm just pointing out that I'm amazed that people don't know things

that are old school technology. So if you use a cell phone and I call you, what happens? If you're on the phone, it'll be biopop, right, and you might pick up because you might be in the lot. Okay, but people aren't used to calling landlines, so you obviously don't work in I don't know. You don't call companies or what. I guess people don't call landlines, right like you don't call your auntie, your grandparents, whatever a lot. Because when you call a landline, a couple of things happen.

If the circuits get overloaded, right In other words, maybe the system can handle five phone calls, but eight thousand people are calling to win the phone tapp prize. It gets overloaded. They can't handle that many calls, so it goes to a call, it goes paper. The number you've reached it cannot be reached right now, or the circuits are overloaded. There's some are busy, right, and then people are text in their phone numbers not working. No, the

phone number works. It's just overload, right, that's that's it's an old term that people don't understand. Fine, but we got two text messages today that I've never seen before, and I'll tell you what My response was. The first one, and again I'm not blaming these people. The first one was when we call, are we supposed to wait at the busy signal forever? Or keep trying to call until it sounds like something else? Wow? That those are people

who don't pick up the phone and make any phone calls. No, they don't call landlines. The second one, okay, stupid question of the day. When trying to get through, Will I have better luck staying on the line listening to the constant beeping or hang up and keep trying? Oh my god. So I wrote back to both of them politely. There's not a phone in the world that changes from a busy signal to a ring Somehow, they they not knowing a busy signal, think that after a while it changes

to ringing. My guess is there gen z or younger And they don't know because they just never called a landline where they've gotten a busy signal. If you've heard that a noise and they like how they call it a noise beeping, they don't say the word. They don't know the word busy signal, because a busy signal is just that. It would tell you if you knew what a busy sugnal was, and you knew the term busy signal, you know to hang up and try again, right hear listen,

I hear that. We're pretty difficult to get in touch with in the morning. Dad, we're very popular. I don't know, but um, I got some more reedy stuff. You got something because I don't we know. Continue, we hit the commercials again. We're good. We're good. We're good. We're good. We're good. We're done on commercials. Okay. From a comment on the green Pool picture I put up from Monster donut Pants, which was your name in high school? Isn't

it Monster donnut Pants? Yeah? That you were, Mr Munchkin. That's right, Munchkin. I wasn't short. Okay, all right, Um, Brody, I saw I wrote down on the on the picture I invited you to the pool, so this says she wrote, But Brody, we all know at Scary Jones would get in the pool if there is wouldn't get in the she wrote, would get but she mean wouldn't get in the pool if there isn't a DJ poolside bar and hot girls in bikinis filling the pool with expensive and paign.

Hashtag boogie bastard. So I laughed at that. That was pretty funny. Um, angel angel Hurst sent me a sent us a picture. As I read this, the ramp music is playing in my head. It's a picture of a case of coke. It says fifteen pack, three more cans than twelve pack. Is that really? Oh? Yeah, because it's just then three more, right, because in just in case you don't know how to do basic math, it has it right. It spells it out in another way that

you get three extra cames. Nothing, no problem with that, right, Kelly uh screen named Roscoe's mama. She sent me a picture. She said, UM, check out the great value Walmart has on Lysol. So Lysol has cans of lysol one for five dollars and forty eight cents. Right, two value pack eleven sixty seven more than twice the price of the one. Yes, I I get it. You want me to get the case back so you can I know we're good. We're good, We're good. I have I have a couple of email

with I have a grammar police. Is that okay? Police? Like a couple more things I wanted to read. I'll go for it. Continue. Uh not a grammar police. Uh. Lord of Enjoyment sent a picture. I still don't know why, a picture of two milk crates that he got popped up in his Instagram feed. So I guess for the for the milk car because we were talking about we were talking about the milk crate challenge, and the milk crates popped up in his feed. So then that girl Aarnell,

you know her? Yeah, that girl her. I mean, I'm sorry, Aaron Yeah. She wrote are these white milk rates? I thought it was hilarious, a reference to white milk. She's She's sharp as attack. I love her, She's great. I wanted to say welcome aboard to Shelly right at love to rescue you. She's not gonna hear this for another six months. Oh, new listener. I started listening to The Brooken Boys in August, and I've only gotten through episodes before.

I can't begin to tell you how much I love you too, hopefully I will be caught up by the spring. Keep it going. You have an incredible impact on everyone. So I wrote back, what made you finally listen to the show We've been on for three years? And she wrote back, I was just looking for something light and funny. I work on a gang task force and it gets pretty heavy. You make me laugh so hard with the rants and scary brings out my Italian side. You all

really provide a great service to me. Thank you. So then Omar and uh Shady jew Mobster and a couple of the people forgive me welcome them new Slice Alert, Welcome aboard, listen in order. Uh So, it was great, but I have a bone to pick with. Omar sent me a picture. You're gonna gonna you're gonna want to pretend you didn't see this. A player on a football team,

college football. Oh no, I saw this Indiana right. But the shirt says in Indiana indeed I N D I N I A. They spelled Indiana wrong across the front of his jersey. Now that's what I don't understand. Is it just on his jersey or it was in a miscording to Omar, it was this guy must have gotten they must have like hand ironed them on and somebody spelled his wrong right, So I wrote back to Omar at bagged Waddy. Yeah, of course he's an old school he's an affair from way back. So I wrote back,

what college is that? And before you say INDIODA, I said specifically because I wanted to talk about it on the podcast, I said, is in Indiana State, Indiana University, Indiana Tech, like it could be a lot of a lot of Indiana colleges rather than you got Indiana stupid. I asked questions because I know why I'm asking them, so I rather than him saying Indiana. So so he writes back, can you believe that? And this one off like four tweets. Well, I kept saying what college is it?

And he go, I guess one that can't spell no, no no, which so finally someone else had the chime in and tell me it was Indiana Universal. So just at some point read text messages re tweets, police Police, Kristen Hilty road to us at the Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail dot com. Yes, regular email works. Thank you both for everything you do. I'm glad the big show is on Vaccasion this past week. So I could finally work on getting caught up on the Brooklyn Boys. As

a teacher, I love the grammar police section of the podcast. However, Brody, I am curious why you don't have the same passion for people saying numbers correctly as you do people using correct grammar. I do. I hate when they say twelve people in Brooklyn. When reading numbers, there should not be the word and in any whole number, and is only said when you eats the decimal point. It was driving me crazy awhile listening to the episode about Ali's Instagram likes.

For homework, I used to have students listen to the radio and watch TV and record every time someone said a number incorrectly. They were always so surprised how often adults don't know how to use same numbers. Regardless. I love you both, Brodie. I wish they brought you into the Big show a little more often. You and I would have a great time at dinner because of our eating habits are very similar. Kristen, you lost me on that. Please. Brodie's eating habits no dale, no no green stuff, no vats,

the balls anyway. But yeah, but bro can you you want to respond to Kristen about that, well, I'm about the decimal point forms dot com and it says using and in numbers is not wrong at all. So there you go, there, Kristen, put that into your pipe and smoke it if you smoke. Louise Cruise wrote to us about the ugly section. Hey, Scary and Brodie. First of all, you guys are legendary, the most entertaining pot cast out there. Big fan of you guys in The Big Show, Scary,

check out Curb Your Enthusiasm Season ten, episode seven. It's basically the same thing that happened to you with the sitting in the ugly section at the restaurant you're in. Larry David was a riot and how he handled the ugly section seating um. Also, as much as I love Danielle on The Big Show, I've got to call her out for something you guys. You guys criticized some celebrities of doing. I think it was a DSW commercial. Don't tweet me. I heard that's the shoe warehouse. I heard

during the Big Show. But she read it as we as if she works for them. So she was doing a commercial for the ds W shoe warehouse and as soon as I heard that, I was like, the hell all because of what you guys talked about a few episodes back. You guys are rock stars. So yeah, So Danielle must have been reading commercial copy directly from the copy, and the way it was written was we here at D s W Shoe Warehouse, whereas she shouldn't have said that.

She should probably have said they at at at D s W Shoe Warehouse because she doesn't work for them. Got it, got it all right? And then I have a scamboni from from Megan. If I can hit the button, well, my buttons are real slow today, but Brodie, this is oh my god, Melanie the tillow. I want to let you guys how I found out about a scamboni. Our old Curig coffee machine broke at the office, so I brought our boss thought and bought a new one. And it was a new Curig Mini. The machine wouldn't intake

all of the water or brew anything. We thought the unit was defective. That one was just sitting around in someone's basement before we brought it in, so we bought a new one of the same kind. Okay, so they bought the same exact Mini after the other one wasn't working. Um. Anyway, we opened it up right the directions and so that Curig says not use distilled water. What do you know? The first mini Curing we had now works if we just use tap water. We can use spring water as well.

But the point is that newer curings have a mineral sensor in them to detect water without minerals. We believe this is a scamboni so that people have to use tap and spring water in their machines and build up will happen faster. So you have to buy the scaler from Curing and replace the curings more often. Just call me mel zinny too late anyway, mels zinny Um. Do

you think that Curing would go with Brodie? Do you think Curing would install mineral detectors so the machine doesn't work with mineral water, so you're forced to use filthy water, which causes you to buy the the scaler, which I don't I don't know. I don't think that she's really overthinking this. I don't know if she may be right. I don't know. First of all, why breaks their own phones so you have to buy new ones? So so would would Curig No force you into buying the scale

or but the thing is okay. So then then answer the question why doesn't it work with mineral water because I don't know that the chemical makeup of mineral water. But for instance, if mineral water is hard water, hard water damages your machines, you have you have to you have to cleanse them out. I know my wife's curig. When she had a curig, the hard water damaged it and you had to de scale it from hard water. So I mineral water is considered hard water. Uh, and

you can look that up. I'll look it up later. That maybe why? And then one final scamboni from Mike Felix, Um, how the hell are you guys not talking about the Amazon scamp? I was not aware as a prime member that to day shipping is not two day shipping anymore on the pandemic On my Ring video, I catch Amazon customer service informing me they are being deceptive, So why are we paying prime membership fees? Wasn't it for to day shipping? Linked to my Ring video below, this person

actually sends, oh my god, they taped them. Okay, I don't know if we should play this. What did they tape? They take their conversation through with the Amazon arguing with the Amazon person. So, look, if it comes in three days, I can live with it. If it comes in seven days, then I asked for a credit. It depends on if I need the product. But but he's trying to say, two day shipping should be two day shipping. You're paying for two day shipping. Why is it showing up in

three Well, I said why because of the pandemic. Certain certain warehouses are a little short staff. Certain suppliers don't have the product that was short on things, and they tell you when you buy it may may be affected. It sounds like you want doesn't say it sounds like he doesn't want you should get discount. He doesn't. He shouldn't have to pay to ship to day shipping fees for three day shipping. Well, you're not paying day shipping

fig you're getting this shipping free. Well, maybe should get money off your prime membership. You can ask what you want. You can you can you can uh do that because they're big super company and they have all the money in the world. Or you can say, you know a lot is a pandemic going on. I might give him a leading. Let them took for a day. Like if

it's a day, I let him off the hook. If it's a week and a half, you know, like there's gotta be a middle point where you go, you've had some problems in the past during this pandemic where you did not let them off the hook, and you've got your free dessert. Yeah, but different things like if they send me the wrong thing, or it's broken, or it comes a week later, if it's three days and there

was no warning, then I'll let it slide. I don't normally need things, gotta have it, but you know, it depends, by the way. So a couple of things I'm looking up just to be to be safe here. The British way of saying the numbers is always to use act, and the American ways to occasionally use the end. For instance, it's you don't use it when the two digits are zero zero. In other words, you'd say, right, right, okay. It is said after thousand when the last three digits

of the number are less than a hundred. In other words, you would say five thousand and twenty six. And on checks you always use and if there are no thousands, um, and let's say it's a million if you had a million and you added forty seven, you would say a millillion, and otherwise you'd say a million forty seven and you got seven. It's confusing to to sort of eliminate the confusion you use, and and that is on multiple websites. Grammarly works. Brody is is spanking the math teacher with

her own ruler. Well, listen, I'm sure she's a wonderful math teacher, but she's not an English teacher. It's actually an English issue. But listen, you can teach your students anything where you want, but there are certain exceptions to the rule. And since it is a British way, you can use it. It's not wrong to say it. Don't I don't. I don't adhere to the British way. I adhere to the brief Gray, the Brooklyn way. How do you spell gray? G R E y R g r

A y Okay? Well, g R E y is English, British English either way, No, no, A y is a for American. Just because squinsense just you said you don't subscribe to the British way, and yet you just spelled gray, spread spread love it's the Brooklyn's. Then I'm not dying. What are you doing so wrong? I got another hour. Did you really have bonies? Boys Brooklyn Brookland Boys bro