#186: Cleaning Up The Balloon Knot

Walking Dead review show. Then we review all three Walking Dead shows and then a couple of the shows. But sometimes we take a few weeks off here and there. So in our taking weeks off, the Brooklyn Boys is only seven episodes behind, right, So now you mention that six because when it was one eighty six of Walkers and Talkers, I went on a little speech about how it reminds me of six, which is the last time the Mets won the World Series. And guess what the

way they're playing today? Oh my god, I don't think we're gonna see a World Series from them for several years to come. I'm really sports fan discussed and your team's discussed place for May, June and July, and you're like, oh my God, we're gonna, We're gonna, We're gonna win the division finally, and then a couple of players get

injured and they just they loose. It's terrible. I bit my tongue early in the year because when the Mets were on a roll in first place and the Yankees were shooting the bed, a lot of my Met friends, fans friends were mouthing off at the Yankee fans like ha, ha, look, and I'm like, guys, don't do it. It happens every year, wait till past the All Star break. Every year they happened first place, but the Mets usually hold on. The Mets usually have a great run early and shipped the

bed towards the end. Let's go back to two thousand seven two when they when they choked, like at the end of the season in September. What I'm trying to say is turning into a sports podcast. What I'm saying is this, you aren't surprised. I was so not surprised. I mean, my eyes couldn't roll harder out of my head than they have been the last couple of weeks to see the Mets drop. We're up to five in a row. Now that we lost. Yeah, by the way, you know, they got rained out a lot last week,

which is the best thing that could happen. But because of the pandemic rules, and they don't want you to have to like be around the other players anymore than you have to be used to be in baseball. If the game was rained, like the rain was so bad prior to the middle of the fifth inning, they would cancel the game and you play a whole new game. Now because of the pandemic rules, you just continue with the next day. So like, I don't earlier last week,

maybe I think it was last week. The Mets were getting hammered early and then the rain came, so I was like, yes, the old expression is when your team is bad, you pray for rain in baseball, so I was praying for rain forgetting about the rule. So the game gets rained rained postponed, and instead of the Mets having a fresh clean and slate, they had to continue to get him pick it up from being slaughtered after three innings being beaten, and had to continue to get beaten.

I think they lost like fourteen of four Gusta or something like that. I will never ever be I always bite my tongue I never once this season said yeah, let's come because here here we go and Yankees are on the rise and the Mets are on the fall. Speaking of you not being the biggest sports guy, you played golf this week. You see that. I was gonna apologize. I was gonna have said, yeah, I shouldn't have said you played golf. You were there in a golfing environment,

on a golf course while people were playing golf. Yes, you were doing you what you were you were Um, you were reorganizing the dirt, that's what you were doing. Yeah, I was. I was actually creating new jobs for the people who take care of the grass, like, oh look, we gotta we do the grass again because there's all these divots in it, because he's some dirt. If you were rost some friends, you would have been saying, da great reference. So you got a couple of points on

that one. You know. I was part of a charity event and I was so excited. It was a charity case and a charity event. And I went with Gandhi from our show the picture on to what looked like you went to saw I'm not saying an in bed so a Gandhi put up video of you driving down a road which was lined with trees, beautifully kept, perfect trees.

It looked like something out of a movie. Right. So you're on a one lane road or you know, one one lane each way, and off in the distance is a castle looking castle was a castle in the sky. It didn't look real. You like, driving down this road. It looks like it's a quarter mile long at least, and there's nothing at the end of the road except the castle. Castle on the hill, just like she said. That's it's called Okeka Castle and it's in and it is on the National Suffolk border of Long Island, in

Huntington's Long Island. You can call it Woodberry. It's off of Jericho Turnpike. You know, you know I love Jericho, my favorite turnpike. Yeah, your favorite turn pike to these days or maybe not so much. I don't know. Jericho's really that's a stretch, bro, I'll tell you what a stretches. Yeah. You try to have your own day. Yeah. So we went to so we went to Oh he Could Castle for a charity event. It was a two day to night thing. We did party in the night and then

we did a golf thing in the daytime. Now, originally we were not supposed to play. But Johnny Damon, who used to play for the Yankees and some other teams and the Red Sox, he uh he was a big fan uh and was going to go golfing that day. And unfortunately he had some personal issues. There was um, I guess the death in the family. Whatever. He didn't make it to he could castle, so they scratched him.

And now you have to understand, Brodie, people paid ten thousand dollars to have a foursome on the golf course with a with a celebrity. I know that sounds filthy if you're a non golfer. Four people go out on the golf course together and then the fifth person is a celebrity. Someone paid ten thous dollars for the rights to have a golfing outing. Again, old money goes to

charity with with Johnny Damon as a celebrity. How do you think that conversation went when they in the back office had a rearrange kind of refund or something and they said, hey, Johnny couldn't make it today. So you get Scary Jones and Gandhi from the Elves to Rand Warring Show and see wow, that's equal right. Uh, you know what, she's the great great granddaughter of Gandhi something.

I'll say this, that's a couple of hundred bucks. As luck would have it, one of the guys in the foursome was a huge fan of our morning show and said, we'll definitely take them. Yeah, okay, Johnny, can't make it call scary and Gandhi. Well, Gandhi actually happens to have a little gusto when it comes to golf. She knows what she's doing and she's Gandhi has been there before. Gandhi's like like golfed. She had her boyfriend golves a

lot and she obviously that was a good student. And the point, the point is you you cannot golf, right. So you got these four guys thinking they're in the Masters, you know, earning their green jackets, Gandhi holding her own and here I am you should have been holding your holding. I would have been better off, should been playing with your own putter. I was brodie. How do you take a whack at the golf? At the how do you

take a swing? How do you how do you take a whack and and miss the fucking ball three times in a row. That's what I here's how you don't do that. You miss it twice and then you stop swinging. That's how you don't miss it three times. I was so embarrassed. I was. They were like, you have to stand up next to the ball. You have to line up ball. Thank you, Honeymooners Norton. Great joke. Uh. Yes, So, So I don't know what I did wrong, but I'll

tell you what I did right. Um, I left the golf course early and let these guys play their game and finish off because honestly, five six hours with us on the field, we were just slowing it down. Did you say field? Of course that's also a problem right there. Yeah. So I lost the two balls that I did hit ended up in the water. Lost them. So I'm not good for golfing. Golfing is not good for me. I'll drive the court the car all day, I'll eat the food at the halfway point, I'll drink the drinks, and

I'll be there for a great conversation. But do not came on the clubhouse guy. You're more of a guy. I'm a clubhouse and the shower and lockers guy. After some guys are on the back nine. You're just on your back exactly, chilling on a chase lost. So yeah, but it was great. We raised money for d up on cancer. So it was a great chair all right, no jokes. Everything that you ask your own d up on cancer, d up on cancer, right, so it was

d up on cancer. Is that's a good cause. I'm not making fun of the cause, just you yeah, just because that. Yeah. So anyway, that was it. That was fine. That one day was that. That was on on Monday, on Monday. So let me see what I did. What I did Sunday Monday. My daughter, my middle daughter is away at college. Now. We drove her up to uh to college up State New York. And college is beautiful and it's oh god, it was. It was a number of hours, many many hour drive from where we live. Okay, yep.

And as you know, again, what I'm gonna say is nothing. It's not an insult on rural areas. I'm just pointing out the differences in rural areas to the city ish area I live in that we grew up in. So some of the turns, once you get off the main roads, we're going by barns and farms and and trailer homes and it's fine. But it's like open space, right, it's like corn fields and his cows and and so like. From one house to the next is like a quarter mile.

This tremendous space. But there's a lot of um like houses attached to silo and you know, like their bonds, which is very cool. I always wondered what happened in there, Like what do they store in there? Still a grain or corn and silos because you don't want to store wide, so you store high. Takes up less room, right, But when you have all that space, who gives a funk? If it's wide? Well, I guess again, because you don't

want to waste space. You can be growing stuff on true true well anyway, so there's no bales of hay in the silos. There were bales, no I was there. Would bal say, I don't know what. Listen, people who have their own silos, they can put a missile in the silo. I don't know what's in there. I'm telling you some of the things they have grain and corn with different things. Someone will tweet you, I'm sure and tell you. But here's the thing I get. While you'd

have a banner for a sports team. Right, you're a sports fan like Pittsburg Steelers, right, huge fan, Jet fan. I'm a jet fan. You put a banner. I wouldn't put a banner of a sports team on my house, though I might fly a little flag in the front, like on game day. But I don't know if I would put a banner, let's say, like a ten ft by six ft banner over the side of my house. If you have that kind of space, why not on my house? If you lived where these people lived in

these rural areas. Okay, so here's where I'm going. And again, if you do this, God bless you. I just it's not I don't I can't relate to it. There were a lot of banners for politicians. I think you were talking about sports teams. No, no, no, nope, nope nope. And I get you like a politician. But these homes, let's say they were like twenty ft why they weren't big houses. Half of the front of the house or two thirds of the side of the house, sometimes covering windows,

were giant political banners. Some of them said they were rooting for a particular candidate, and some of them said fuck the other guy. By name, and these are local candidates for po No, no, no, these are these are big ones, are big ones. But to have a banner on your house, I'm gonna I'm just gonna say Jones

because you're scared Jones. Let me say Jones. If you have a banner that says Jones or Jones twenty four right on half of your house, and then you you may have two of these banners because I saw this one a lot. Fuck Jones right, funck Jones giant back, Like I can't imagine the place where I live, where

my family lives, where my kids are growing up. Like even if you want your kids not to like this particular politician, well because you got you got everyone looking at that, you got families, right, So, so is it just that there's nothing else to do in that kind of area, Like it's there's nothing to do, Like there's there's no like I mean, they do make shopping store fronts. Do you make the best corn mazes there? They got

plenty of time to carve it out. It's just like you see one, you go, oh, that's interesting, right, Like sometimes you're driving around like rural areas of our of our area, Like if you're in New Jersey, you might go to half hour west right where it's a little more rural, and you might see one house with a with a flag, a flag or or a little like some things in the lawn. These scary. I'm telling you that we maybe fifteen ten twelve fifteen ft wide six

eight ft hot giant flag banners. I love this guy. So I remember my car went with one with one of my other kids because we had to go up in two cars. And and she says to me, she's like interesting, I'm like yeah, So I was like, who do you think they bought it for? So again, I don't care who you vote for. It's it's not the

point of this. It was just like so different, Like can you imagine in Brooklyn, Like we're growing up so close to each other, the in apartment buildings and to family houses with like at banner over the front of the whole house. It's like a billboard on your house. So alright, alright, well okay, you know so, but the thing is by putting those banners out there, they're not going to influence other people. Well, there's no change to

change their right to change their minds. Like it was, it was, it was it was, It's go away from a It's almost say, nobody around this is who I I want to world to know. It's like giving the world the middle finger. Maybe not the world, maybe just the half people are driving that road occasionally exactly and pretty much half the people that that traveled down that road, right. I just was, I was like, fuck Jones fu right like I like, I would I put a fun the

Yankees sign on my house. I would think about it, but not that big. I'm a mad fan, but I'm not a Yankee hater, right right, yeah, especially since you know the Yankees usually end up dominating by the end of the season. I don't want to be the guy that they're coming after, right right. Yeah, I get you. I get you. Um um um. I was gonna say this, I got more stories podcast. What's that in your dude, I'll tell you what it is? Uh? What was that? See? He went away? The hamas gone. See it's all it's

not my equipment, folks, it's Brody. See okay, he disconnected. He's resetting his line. You're you're clean it is, and now Brodie signs on you get the echo again. The Ham is now gone. Tell you what the hamba is it's gone. Oh it's there. It sounds better. Now that was good. What are you doing? I'm not doing anything. You hear me. The way it was just a second ago was even better. You keep going away and coming back. I'm here. Now it's bad. Yeah, I moved the microphone.

The problem with this microphone is I know the problem with the microphone is the USB connector in the bottom is loose. And so a couple of uh six, eight weeks ago, couple of months, I opened the whole microphone up and I crimped it with pliers like you're supposed to do on YouTube video, and I tightened it. But now it's loose again, so you bump into it all you jiggle it, it disconnects for the YouTube how video. How to videos with electronic equipment never end well for me.

Now this ended I did. I did worked well, it worked well. Well, that's fine. Speaking of it sounds actually it sounds like I was like before. It's like it's like the buzzer they use it on when you when you're getting a haircut. No, you know what it's the it's the fan from my laptop. I didn't turn it off this afternoon so it's been running since yesterday and I have a lot it needs a break. But now regarding haircuts, I just gonna want to tell you what happened to me on my last cut. You know, I

got a fresh cut over the weekend. Yeah? Is that because you had so many appearances this week? Yes? Okay, because I want to talk about one specific appearance you had. I meant to grab the audio, but I didn't, but I'll describe it. And you're going, Erica, well really quickly. This happened to me, and my my hairstyles tried to cover it up. I had. I'd like to have my sideburns.

I like to have my side burns down to, like, you know, lower than my ear where my cheek is whatever the case, like when my cheeks starts the cheek boat is a little bit of a sideburn. Well, she knows I like that. She cleans me up, and then she puts out the buzzers. By the way, you caught

your car is an ugly piece of ship. Oh sideburn? Sorry, okay, sorry anyway, So then she puts the buzzer on the sounds like this, I mean Brodie's audio, and she goes across the sideburn, and I'm looking in the mirror like, oh my god, she cut off too much. It's like way above with the top of my ears. So now I'm sitting in well, we're nearly were the top of my ears. So she was, oh, she goes, She was, I only wanted to swim a right. Yeah. So so then she goes to the other side and she's, I

gotta even it out. Now she goes. But guess what she did when she even did out. She went too high on that one. So now she's gotta go. Now she's gotta two ears are competing with each other, the two sideburns left to right to left to right to try, and they were uneven every time before Before long, I had no sideburns, less left because she couldn't get them even what do you mean you can't put hair back even as not even even as not even especially in

sideburn world. So now she's anyway. So yeah, So so I have like no sideburns, so I'm trying to grow it in and not shave up there for a while. Wow, yeah, you got screwed over. So you you did an appearance. I'm not gonna say where it was, because you couldn't decide if you want to say where it was. But you you have an ability to do something I can't do. You can pump up a crowd even when there's no crowd there yet. You can get excited when it's not

nothing to get excited about yet. And so for your Instagram, you were trying to get people to come on down. And so you've you from the great video of this beautiful place you're at. And in your video you said, come, I'm at the party's going on, join us for the party, right, and the camera was like, you know, moving around like an MTV video, but it went too far left and right and it showed there was nobody there yet, there was no party. But your energy level is always at

party level, and I respect that. I wanted to give you props for that because I know later on people showed up, but at the time you were filming, they had just set everything up. It looked great, but the party really hadn't started yet. But you are your own party and I respect that. Yes, well, thank you. Well, this was just an observation whereas I feel like there's

gonna be some no, that's it. I know there was I yes, I'm gonna say where it was because I have a little a little story that goes with it, and well I want just want to say I want to go there, because the way you described it would it looked like I'm starving for it. It's a it's a place called German Donna cabab Yes, they're a sponsor. Yeah, you don't have to hit the jingle because I left you. German Donna Cabob is actually in the UK. And there are three stories the trip. There's a lot of them.

It's like stories actually over there. All right. Well, now this is their first American location and they wanted to make a big splash, so they put a step and repeat out there with professional photography and they may come golf with Scary Jones banner. What do you call it? Yes, yeah, right, the balloon? What do you call the balloon? The balloon knot? If you don't know what leather cheerio, google leather cherio, Google balloon knot. It's my favorite expression for an urban dictionary.

Let me see if it's if that's the that's what comes off? Oh god, does is to be the first thing that comes up for balloon knight because it looks like a fucking balloon, knot anyway, so the balloon. So I was at this place, right, and and then people like, what's a donner kepop all right? The very simple thing is is it's it's a gyro the Greeks. The Greeks took a meat on a stick and then and and

grilled them horizontally. The Turkish came along, and they Turkish came along, put it right side up onto a spit. You've seen those before, the gyro vertical or the hero right, so the so the the again, the Greeks did it horizontally across fire. The Turkish people came, stood it up and called it donner kebab. And then somewhere in the middle there the Middle Eastern people called it schwarma. But

they're they're three and the same. It's it's the stuff that you cut off of the vertical spit spins around and anyway, they put them in a pea bread. But this pizza is special because it tastes like Brodie's consistency of pizza crushed. So it's pizza crushed in one of the donna. Oh but anyway, that was the place. So that reminds me of a so we went to eat on Sunday up near the college. And so there's a

little town near the college, very nice town. But from what I understand that I learned after the fact, they're having a hard time getting people to work on Sunday nights, and because school wasn't back in session yet, they didn't have the students working for them, so that everyone was short staffed. So some of the restaurants didn't open. Some of them had two hour weights, right, so we were starving.

So there were two pizza places. One was closed and I don't remember the name of the other one, but it was open. It said Mediterranean food and pizza. So there were photographs of like uh, gyros, you know, and pizza and cal zones and hummus and uh so it was it was Mediterranean food, I guess, uh and pizza and pizza right now. Look, Greek people don't live that far from Italy, right as far as uh you know.

So anyway, anyway, so crazy busy. The pizza was definitely pizza. Now, look, I'm I'm four or five hours away from from New York, so I'm already not expecting great pete beggars can't be choosers. Right by the way. I never go into restaurants where they post pictures of the food. Well, here's the title

they had. They had a cardboard professionally printed cardboard poster leaning against the ledge where the pizzas behind the glass, like like they up in the up against so standing up, and it had pictures of the food like you go to a Chinese restaurant, the pictures are up on the menu take out place. And so there was a picture of a gyro, it's a picture of some kind of Greek salad or whatever it was whatever, And there's a picture of a cow zone. The problem is it was

a strumboli. So I'm like, okay, I can't order the peat in the cow zone or the strumboli because they don't even know what it's called. It's difference. Well a lot of the signmaker doesn't know the difference one or the other. Don't order the garlic knots, you might get a balloon knot right a place like this, A lot

of plus plus everybody there at this place. First of all, none of them, none the more Italian, which is fine, um, but they all called it even the people like from the area, other people wherever they were from They called it cheese slices. So I said, hey, can I get a couple of slices too, chee slices? I did. I wanted to say to the guy, what are the slices there? They all have cheese, right, they all have cheese, They're all cheese. It's pizza. It's like the right, it's the

white milk. So so see, he's where I got frustrated. So I go back to the table and I said to my wife and kids, I go, you know, you know the piece is not gonna be good. They call it cheese pizza, cheese pizza. So my college daughter says, yeah, that's what all my friends call it. What, Yeah, cheese pizza, slice of cheese pizza. I said, it's just called it's called cheese pizzas called pizza, right, I said, I've never been more ashamed of you as my child. Pizza comes

with cheese, right. But it's like calling it a beef burger. It's just a burger. Anything else is when they want to see those people are trying to clarify versus chicken versus not just burger. Burger means beef. That's what burger means. You want to call it a veggie burger. Beyond burger, chicken burger, that's fine. Turkey burger. Default is beef burger. Fault is pizza with cheese. That's that's even redundant. It's cheese,

sauce and bread. That's pizza. Yes, but I know a place that serves it without sauce without that's not the same. That's cheese the speed. And they call it that. They're called no no cheese. But I'm looking up. I looked a balloon not on Urban Dictionary. Yep, it's good, right, everybody a slang term meaning yep. There you go. And they give an example. I'm going to get my balloon not licked. Wax used in a sentence usually waxed. I'm gonna wax my balloon. Not today, Well, given the choice,

I don't know. Have you ever had you ever watch? No me neither. No, I mean i've you know, I don't want to know. The razor's gone up there. I've had up up and there up and yeah, because I you know, I shave everything there, right, I have to show and I go around around, und I go down and down under, I go under and back into the back. Okay, alright, okay, So I need to feel like we're doing a dance. This is one of those wedding dances. Into the back, ybody,

clap your cheeks. Okay, now underneath and to the back, do you do the hokey pokey as well? Back there, I poke me in the hokey yeah. So um so see what you Okay? So I was sent out on a mission. Yeah. So we packed up two cars worth of stuff for my daughter's dorm room. Right. And of course once you set up you realize as things you need. Okay, So I get I've given a list batteries and a step stool and some other things, and I'm told to go to Target, which is, I don't know, twenty minutes away.

So I leave. I'm on my way and I get a text message from my one of my kids. It says, Mom says, we will need more plastic drawers. Send pictures when you get to the store. See if there's a Walmart instead of Target. Go to Walmart. And then a text message comes in two minutes later says never mind, never mind the whole thing. So I went to Target. When I got to Target, I said, hey, I'm a Target. What else do we need? And my wife says, I told you go to Walmart. She said I had. I

had our kid text you to a Walmart. I told her to text you yeah, but then she said never mind. So she says, oh, no, never mind was for the plastic drawers. But I wanted you to Walmart. Okay. That's why Apple in their latest iPhone, the last couple of versions, they have the reply to text on the screen there so you can click on the text you're referring to, and then the problem would have been solved. No, because it was one text. Scary, The whole thing was one text.

Mom says, we'll need more plastic drawers. See if there's a Walmart instead of a Target, go there. The next text was never mind. Well, then I would have come home to completely mean about fuck you guys. I'm out. Well, no, I had a list of other things, but I went to Target, and I was told I was wrong because the list said never mind, never mind, but it only referred to the plastic drawers. So I blame my daughter. Well, you're not in mind. We are at that point, right,

That's what I said. I go, how do I know it? Never? You could have asked if they were separate word bubbles. She could, Yeah, all right, never mind, right never. You're trying to apple phone me a dick. Yeah, iPhone, it's not about that. It's it wasn't it wasn't get plastic drawers. Next text message go to Walmart was all one, so your Apple wouldn't have meant anything. Yeah in this case, yes, all right, all right, never mind, we'll be right back.

Oh wow, look you'll get you taking the break. You're gonna have to edit that. No, not, we don't edit here. You cut me off against twice. I stopped cleanly twice figuring you hit the button, you hit the button, I'm gonna hit the button again. I don't hit the button again. Don't hit the button again, hit the button again. Can we can we can we do some audio? Yeah? Yeah, you want to wait to wait for the audio? No, I have the audio? Do you want the audio? Yeah?

You were feeling the audio. I'm feeling the audio right now, feeling it. I'm feeling seven up. Okay. So there was a gu seventies commercial. Yes, I don't remember it, and I'm like it has That was the slogan for a long time, scary into the eighties. Anyway, don't remember. All right, you've never seen an old TV commercial? I have, but I haven't seen that one. All right? You reference to fucking honeymooners a little while ago from the forties and fifties.

Hello Ball, Hello Ball. That's gotta be like ninety. Do you know that Daniel used that exact joke on the radio yesterday? Hello Ball? Yeah, but that's a classic. It's a classic show. Right, So feeling seven up? There was a Jingo feeling seven up. I'm feeling seven up. I don't know. I don't know that one. What's something I'm jingle? Do I remember? It's the uncola? The Uncola seven is the seventies. Also, that was Jonathan what's his name? He was a Bond villain. It was early eighties. That's the

earliest memories I have of any seven up commercial. Then the guy with the hat, Yeah, oh here it is. Here's Sugar Ray Leonard. Es here we go, the boxer, Sugar Leonard. I'm gonna files and less files and seven Nope, oh yeah, just my dick. What do you say that that's my dick? No, No, he says, that's just my dad. It's Sugar Ray Leonard. His Son, his boxing son, So Magic Johnson commercial would feeling seven up? It was. It was a huge If I'm being completely honest, I don't

I've never heard of that. I never know that compaion campaign. But you were old enough to know the eighties feeling seven up commercials. Maybe I was. It was all athletes, it was Magic Johnson, Larry Bird anyway, feeling seven up? Who is seven? Whose daughter is that? That's what? That was my own joke, and I used to say that

I'm feeling seven up. I was like, hey seven I'm such a fucking child that I never heard that before And I just made that up on you made the same joke I made many many many years ago, of course, of course. Okay. So it's like when people go fuck you all and you go, who the hell's all? So okay? So, uh, there was a speech being given by a government official talking about I guess it was uh positive cases, COVID

cases and states. And it was a boring speech. But the guy, I doesn't that he couldn't pronounce words like he kept like he was talking like a child. So I got a couple of them. He play ambulance first, we sent ambulances and paramedics to Missouri, ambulance Louisiana. He said, ambulances first, we sent ambulances and paramedics to I feel that the dialect of where that guy grew up. Sure, there are people listening to this right now and say

saying themselves and ambulance. It's an ambulance, but right, Okay, listen to the way he says, Mrs Sippi, including hundreds of healthcare personnel in Louisiana, Mississippi, Mississippi. He's missing assists in there. He's missing assistance. You miss assist, don't miss a sis, don't miss including hundreds of healthcare personnel in Louisiana, Mississippi. That's lazy tongue. He's got lazy tongue. Yeah, So that househole speech was like slarn words like that, and I

think your public speaker. Okay, So here's my latest in terrible commercials. I have one I want to discuss after this that I don't have audio from because it's not an audio commercial. It's visual. But this is my new oh my god. Commercial. This was a commercial that was big about a year ago and they're bringing it back.

So it's a commercial for Blinkest, which is a company that takes important books summarizes them into fifteen minutes, and you can listen to him on audio, and and you don't have to read books anymore, which I guess is the downfall of our country. But it's helpful if you don't want to read books. But I want you to listen to this girl in the commercial and how unbelievably impressed she is by something that most people would probably know. And then I edited the commercials so you can hear

at the end she now sounds smarter. They listen how cocky he is and his laugh at the end. Okay, so which this is? You're so smart? It's such a beautiful night. Look at the stars, they're amazing. Did you know of stars have planets orbiting them capable of sustaining life? How did you know that? You must spend a ton of time reading that? It's not that So, first of all,

he's out with this girl's I guess supposed to be hot. Right, She's like, look at the stars, and rather than going like they're beautiful like your eyes, he goes, did you know that? Like twent of whatever he said, planets have sustainable life around the stars? Did you know that and she's like, you're so smart. Oh god, and then he goes on to talk about how he doesn't really read books,

so she thinks he's smart. Right, So the whole point of this, this this thing, this Blinkett thing, not a sponsor, is to appear smart right now that never will be but now, but right right but now, instead of what it's not, the product is fine. Rather than appearing smart, he tells her, no, I don't actually read. I listen to clips of books, right, and so listen to listen

to the clip again. He he pulls the roll with the rug out from his own feet and then wraps it up and gets like you gotta hear his laugh at the end, ahead played again, such a beautiful night. Look at the stars. They're amazing. Did you know of stars have planets orbiting them, capable of sustaining life? You know that you must spend a ton of time reading?

Not at all, he's bin, Yeah, it's enough that takes key insights from over four thousand nonfiction bestsellers and gathers them into fifteen made blinks for you to read or listen to, like the stars, even the stars. Wow, Dister didn't even give her the compliment. At the end, she gave him two opportunities. Right, you know that guy ain't getting laid tonight, Right, that guy, what the fund is he thinking? And she's like, oh my god, you must you must read a lunch that if there was ever

you know what that is. That's stat he just said. Scary. It's like the kind of thing you read on a fortune cookie. Yeah, like at a Snapple cap. That's what he should have said. I read Snapple caps. They effects in them of stars planted thrown them. We could stay life. Wow, you must read a lot. How much do you need to read to know one fact? Right? And she's like, like the stars. He's like, yeah, yeah, that wow. He

takes no interest in her whatsoever. Probably that's he's he's got cliff notes versions of books, right, doesn't give a fuck. She's like, I want to fuck you. And he's like, let me tell you about these fake books I read. I mean you expect that ten years into a marriage, but not on your first date. How do you know stuff? Well, I don't actually read. I buy these these fifteen minute things and I use it to impress women and then I don't fuck them. Someone's not seeing any balloon, not tonight,

is what I'm saying. Okay, speaking of bloo speak, this was not a segway I plan, but it's the perfect segue. So this is a clip I want. I want to preface this last clip, and you're gonna want to play it more than once. This is the third third of what I had to listen to. So the first third I was like, Oh my god, I wish I was taping this. There's no way it's going to continue. The second third was me going, holy shit, it's continuing. I gotta get my phone out. And the third third is

what you're gonna hear. So just no, you don't even have a clip of this commercial. You don't even have the whole thing. It's not a commercial. I'm gonna tell you what it is in a minute. Just know that I listened to two thirds before what you're gonna hear that was louder and more disgusting. This is the dorm bathroom at my daughter's college when another father came in to use the stall next to me. I don't know what's going on here, Go ahead, play it. Oh dude,

he was jerking off. No, yes he was no because he he went oh fuck what what? Okay? We was so could you describe the two thirds before? Okay? So, so here's my point though in the third, the third third, he's still struggling. Oh god, oh fuck. It happened too quickly. And by the way, he didn't wipe his ass. No, he flushed and he got up and left before I could get up, Like that's what they think. He was cranking it. No, No, because he had to know I was there, and I looked scary. I mean, unless he

was giving him something and he was sitting. I could see his foot you where it should be. He wasn't standing over the bowl. Dude, if he was cranking one, play it again. Let's let's let's hear and think to see if it's because I didn't hear aready fapping? M You don't, grunty, what's the have you ever made those sounds? If you were doing that? Do you go? Oh? Fuck? It sounded like he got out like a really hard No.

But to me, you would do that and then they would just be like a lull and then you flushed the toilet. You don't and there's something something didn't happen there. It sounded I didn't hear white. I didn't edit it. That's the thund He did that for three times that length, at least the latest. Oh oh, and this isn't He was the father of another student. I have to I it sounded like a father because we were in the well.

I was in the the I was on the floor above my daughter, because the floor above is half boys and one end and half girls on the other and it's like a staircase in the middle. So I was in the men's bathroom. But it didn't sound like a kid. It's like an eighteen year old freshman. Fuck. So look, I know I no only wouldn't record it, it's it's sling blade too. Yeah, got a pope. Two thirds of that I missed. If I can recapture that somehow. The whole time going it's so good, get it, get it,

get it, get it. He was saying the same thing in his stall. He took one Mississippi to Mississippi, Mississippi. Yeah, so that guy what was coming out of Yeah, that's what I saw. That was my segway. That was my second Wow, what did you what did you record this week? You know, you never you never think about it, but we have a recording device on us at all times. I probably should take out my phone and record more, I think. But the thing is, and you know what,

it's not as creepy as trying to sneak pictures and video. No, it's it's much more inconspicuous. Right. Well, I, like I said, I normally wouldn't have done it, like let the guy have like a poop, But after it went on for so long, I'm like, it's it's God's way of saying, record this. That's the way I took it, because you know you were there. I mean, I guess there were three stalls. I was in the stall on one end. He went in the middle stall. First of all, you

know that's not the move. You go to the other other end. You don't go to the middle stall. That's I don't know why he would do that. I wasn't making noise, but the door was locked. Did he not know I was there? Maybe didn't know If he knew I was there, it was in those noises. God bless him, because you know, no and and uh I heard, I heard. I heard the pool at the beginning. There was some pool at the beginning, but I didn't hear any pool

like I didn't hear any water. I didn't didn't hear anything hitting the water, So your theory may not be that far off. But even even let's say, hypothetically, let's say he was uh pulling the old pud there. Right, Let's say he's in a college freshman dorm. Right, he's helping his son move into the dorm or his daughter, and he came upstairs to use the bathroom, right, did he did he just see like some eighteen year old you know what, prody. I was gonna say it, but

I didn't want to say it. I don't Maybe he got aroused because he saw a bunch of college girls. Here's the thing, I don't want to get gross. Guys will know what we're talking about. Women. You are some I dam I'm sure if he was doing that right, let's say he did the oh God right at the oh ship right, he flushed immediately, there was still no wipe either either way, There was no wipe the spooping. Yeah,

but but but it's not always a clean escape. You gotta have something reminder, something's wrong, something I got one more commercial? Can I fit it in? Or now? Yeah? Let's go. Okay, So you guys are gonna see this

commercial and you're gonna you're gonna hate it. But so it's a commercial with a couple sitting in a kitchen island like a little countertop right, and they're watching television and it's a lottery drawing and they see they just won the lottery and they're holding the winning ticket, but it's it's it's sitting on the counter right, like, oh my god, we won, and it's sitting on the counter that the the the countertop is maybe like five by

five square countertop. They get so excited one of them knocks over a glass of something that looks like wine or soda and it's spilled on the counter and it's moving towards the ticket. Okay, they scream. Now they're in slow motion. Then the voiceover comes on and says, Bounty is the quicker picker Upper. One of them, in slow motion grabs a roll of Bounty, unwraps the bounty, and then wipes the counter before the dark liquid can ruin

the ticket. Am I making sense so far? Okay, So you have a winning lottery ticket that first of all, would still be acceptable if forgot wet. You're trying to protect it. You have the time to grab a roll of bounty, unwrap the roll of bounty, and then wipe the liquid as it's rolling on a flat surface. Why not, No, why don't you just take the ticket and swipe it, pull away from the fucking yes, pull the ticket off the table. Thank you, Paul, the ticket off the table.

You saw it coming. You go and get a roll of bounty, and you unwrapped the Why wasn't the bounty unwrapped. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why they did that way because they would not have the bounty commercial sho. That's right if they did it the other way, right. Somebody was so clever. They're going, I got a great idea. We'll have the liquid going towards the ticket. That it wasn't acid. It wasn't gonna burn up the ticket. It would have made the ticket brown. It was like soda.

It was not a big deal. They went and got there. They could have just picked the ticket up. The guy was looking like like they said, I'm gonna get the bound. But I think the UPC symbol would still work if you scanned it. You know. No, No, I mean, like, why don't just pick the ticket up off the county earlier, yes, right, right, right, okay. And there's another commercial. I just saw it. It's another one they brought back. It's it was an old one. There's a guy on a on an island, right, I

guess he stranded on an island. And he spells out help in all caps with twigs with like with branches. Okay, h G LP Now it's capital letters, right. So the L has the lip the leg on the bottom. Okay, a helicopter is you hear a helicopter in the distance, and the homeless, homeless guy, this stranded guy right with scraggly clothes. He looks like you know, Tom hankson Castaway goes oh, like he gets excited. He's running to the helicopter. He then sees his dog pick up the leg of

the P and run off with it. So now it says h E l oh hello, oh commercial, yes okay, and he's like no, no, no, he's screaming right right, and they cut to the people and the things saying, oh if they're waiting hello to us, right right, the guy's life is on the line, right, Why wouldn't you just take the leg off the L and use it for the P? You know, what he didn't because he wouldn't have a commercial. He was going for the bounty. That's what he was doing, right again, just stupid. The

guy deserves to be stuck on the island. He should have laid down his own body and formed the p like there's so many things you could have done. The dog took the one letter that it's clever they made help hello, sort of get it. I just I have no tolerant for the bad commercials. That's all, okay, five talents for good commercials like these. Yeah. I gotta say that our our listeners are the best, the slices. They

really are tuned into everything that we do. I A day doesn't go by where I don't open up the Brooklyn Boys Twitter account and take a look at, uh, you know, at what what goes on? Um in in it? So we this week, for instance, as I'm pulling it up, installing, um, what are you pulling up? I'm pulling up our the Brooklyn Boys Twitter account? Oh right, right right, yeah, because we had some fun things that we're thrown in there. Um, oh my god, somebody is okay, I don't need to

see this. Somebody tweeted at us and it's it's literally a picture of a guy jerking off, and it's a real picture. That's a video, that's a video. Was he in a dorm room bathroom? Yeah? First of all, shout out to Shady jew Mobster, who big big mad fan and then took a picture with Mr Met and while he was wearing his old school original logoed first printing Brooklyn Boys T shirt. So thank you Shady Jum Mopster,

We love you for that. Um. Then we had someone who said that we were discussing about taking your shoes off on the plane. Thank you to Randy Michelle Sabo um big Mets fan. You have just yes, she is or he is, you've discussed taking your shoes off on a plane before. How do you feel about it? At city field and a baseball game. There's a video or a picture that she took of someone who just took their sneakers off in front of her foot. They're going

barefoot at the fucking game. If you're barefoot at a baseball game, chances are you've got a funk John's batter on house guaranteed. Gut Um. Someone made a meme which was great, Lord Lord of Enjoyment, thank you so much. The bad customer service. There's a guy and then and then the due to COVID excuse. So there's guy's playing cards at a card table and there's one guy that's about he's in motion of slapping a card down. That

means like he's gonna win the hand. So the table says bead with the cards on, it's a bad customer service. And then in his hand is the single card that says due to COVID nineteen. And it's almost like boom, I'm gonna throw this card down. I'm gonna play the COVID nineteen due to COVID nineteen card. As we've discussed so often on this podcast with people getting away with shoddy service and they're still here, we are, close to two years later using the due to COVID nineteen excuse.

It's on the staff, the bed, the bed card. I know, but so many times we've pointed out that we're do using it as an excuse. Just me last week and so shout out to you you also um this one. We think Brodie and I both feel the same way. We think it's a joke. Um again, coming into at the Brooklyn Boys on Twitter, Heather Gonzalez and don't forget to take scary. He's still guy, he's still doing it. It's it's at David Brody at the Brooken Boys. That's

Scary Jones. Then I don't forget scary. He's on the show. So this is a big This is a big oops, says Heather Gonzalez. And this isn't a picture that she wrote, because we know that this has gotta be a photoshop thing. It says across it is the lettering across this building, and it says College of Architecture and Planning. All right, right, but the C in college was there was no room for it because on the building it says knowledge of

Architecture and Planning. And they made they put the sea on the sidewall as if to say it's it's irony, it's real, It's cannot be real. There's no way, yeah, because you can't be real, right, and what does you have? Had the last letter that didn't fit, not the first. So they put the sea on the walls to make knowledge of the architecture and planning, and obviously they didn't plan, right, ha ha ha. There in lies the joke. But I found that funny, very funny, but not clever, but but

definitely not real, not real. And then we had people talking about Target and the places to park. Half the parking is shipping containers and curbside there's no one, no one is doing curbside. Here you are with a bunch of empty fucking parking spaces. And then where's everybody else left? The park back by the dump? Sta that problem last night of shop? Right? This the four rows of parking, the first five six spots in every row with miscellaneous

things other than handicapped, other than a handicapped spots. But mom with baby pick up order ahead, Uh, we don't like you like this again. It's just you can't park anymore. You cannot park anymore. By the way, Snoop petty pog does not like me using words like sus and lit on this part. It's quite apparent he sent the meme in there. He did the He put the meme of the Pete Davidson character from SNL and Pete Davidson or just oh no, this isn't Pete Davidson. You're so saucy

you don't even know who it is. It looks like John Cryer. Okay, how do you do, fellow kids? Whatever? That was sketch. Uh. And then finally on a Grammar Police which I won't even play the jingle please leave card inserted until prompted to remove found on an a

t M. I guess, oh, terrible, that's not good. Yeah, I got a couple here from Nelson Abrams at Nelson Underscore a B R A M s at Abrams watching a quiet place too, and I see this place and it's John Krasinski walking by a place called Brody's Pizzeria. To what she says, I know, because it's Brodie's pete seria, it would be great pizza, to which I said, uh, well it would be if it was me, David Brody, but I don't trust the Brodie name when it comes

to pizza places. Then Scary Time did not see my reply yet, said well, if you go by Brodie's, theory, it would be spizza because Brodie's is not an Italian name, therefore it would probably not be good pizza. So I think we agree on um. Mike South made Mike. I read Mike's tweet last week where he said, you guys are great on Walkers and Talkers. I figured out, Hey, why not I become a fan of the Brooklyn Boys,

and so it begins, I'm listening to your podcast now. Now, if you remember I said, if he's listening to the podcast now, he's just starting our podcast. He's gonna be like two years away from hearing this mentioning his name got a tweet today. I'm enjoying it already. I'm flying through them as fast as I can. I'm up to episode sixty, but my iPad likes to download the recent episode automatically until I changed the setting. So I heard

episode one five where you mentioned me first time ever. Um, I wish there were more hours in a day, big fan. So set Mike south Made is running through our episodes, and I thought he would be years away from here in his mention, but he listened out of a water by accident and he heard it. So but he's enjoying it. Thank you so much. Appreciate you. Um, highway Explore sent this. This is disturbing. This is a picture again, So Highway

Explore kind of say some highway Explorer. I I very much enjoy Highway Explore on Twitter, but you don't need to copy us to every single customer service fight you have. Oh this one is good though, but I know, but picked the good ones. Well sometimes he's like, my eggs were called. Well, this one it looks like a I guess it is a truck stop, Pilot Flying ja. Oh, Pilot Flying Jay is a is a It's like a convenience store, like a quick mart for truckers, all like

on the big highways of the big roads. Well, I passed a few tres. I'm gonna say something right here, Pilot Flying Jay. This is scary Jones talking. How little do you think of your fucking of your customers? I mean no, yeah, really, this is absolutely disgusting that this passes for food. Highway explorer tweeted us a picture of what he or she found at the truck stop that they were at. Right, do you really expect truckers to

eat this? It is a picture of I guess, a cast iron skillet of burnt fucking chicken and and shapizza and pans of shapizza that looked like they were made three days ago. That is gross. That is disgusting. Pilot at point. No, this is me now talking, and this is me paraphrasing and getting it out. Um, how do you claim to have the French? I'll read the quote, how do you came to have fresh awesome food? More like awesome, This is awesomely food, more like awesomely burnt disgusting,

And I agree with you, I don't understand. I mean, now you're talking about putting people's health in risk here. I mean, that's that's disgusting. That is absolutely atrocious. Do better remember the Joe They to drive through because they know you're gonna be like ten miles away before you realize it. This vood is for truckers. They're gonna be a hundred miles away, but they're not gonna come back. And by the way, I've been Flying J. I wouldn't

order the food there. But that's the Flying j is like sheets, some of them have like showers and places you can nap episode they are like really like hardcore for truckers. Uh. And it's a great place to buy like like DVDs if you want to watch a DVD in your truck. You know, like they have everything. But maybe I wouldn't go there for the chicken. Maybe not. I don't know, maybe not unless they want to be a sponsor. And I'll focus on this stuff I said before that. Yeah, um, and I have one more from

the Kickler Kickler friend Justine. I'm sorry, no Ce, Mick Yo, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris right love Chris Um. His friend gave up, Troy gave us the he's got a track dress, the Mutiny medals, right, his buddy did gave us the silver yep. Anyway, Ah, he corrects us or me, he's talking about a simp because I used the words simp at one time. A simp might have been a simpleton, but a simp is definitely a thirsty man who falls for thirst traps. Yeah, so there you go. So that so a simp in today?

I I really, I mean, I guess I've heard kids say it. I guess a simp as somebody who's going after the thirst trap. I suppose a fine, alright, not down. I'm not down with the lexicon. Yeah, I know you're not. Okay, So that's all I got for you on Twitter to I used to I read the Twitter today because we've been backed up on that and I have been ignoring the comments from there, and just yeah, well you don't this week? Oh yeah, you know me. I don't give

a funk, right, I'm the worst. So so we're almost we're almost wrapping up here. I did want to tell you about um a pandemic related customer service issue where I won so and what it was it was It was not mean UM A couple of I want to say, a year and a half ago. Shure we do that. After our final break, we still have to take one more. You know, in the industry they call it a tease.

So so you know, can I can I tell you what happened to dollar Tree real quick, and then we'll go to commercial because I feel like we gotta give something now because I start something so dollar Tree, everything there should be like a dollar right pretty much? Okay, we know where this is going already. No, no, no, not exactly. So you ever go to a supermarket and you go to buy like a Target, and they do

you want cash back? That's the best way to get cash Like if you if you if you don't have a bank around, you know, I gotta If you don't, you go to a different bank than your own bank, they charge your fee. But if you take the money out of the supermarket or a Target, you want cash back, you get to be twenty. They don't charge you that.

They tucks he you go, here's some twenty bucks. So I'm at dollar Tree, and you know, when you use the credit card machine, some of them have questions for you, right, pets Smart, one of them, pets Smart. I think I want to talk about that next week. But Dollar Tree says, would you like cash back? And I thought, you know what, I don't normally need cash back, but I could use some cash back. So I said, yeah, I'll take some cash back, and they go, there will be a dollar fee.

Oh so dollar Tree is now dollar dollar fee. Wow, that's what it charged me. A dollar so that they're not making profit on the straws and the cups and the plates, so they want to make a profit off of off of the dollar twenty bucks I want. So I was like, no, I'm not giving you are charging me a dollar. Your customer at dollar Tree, Yeah, I just bought something, obviously because I'm paying for it because obviously I presented my card and you asked me if

I want cash back? Right, and you expect me to pay Actually you've now paid double right. Well, listen, I know everything there's a dollar, but now the cash back is a dollar too, and scary. All right, So let me tell what happened with with AMC. I love AMC, loved the movie theaters. I happen to be going to an AMC at an appear it's in about a half hour from now. I know. That's why we're wrapping up.

What what movie you're gonna be seeing the night? Oh, it's a um, it's that that horror it's that horror one. It's not really a horror film. It's a it's in the genre of that. It's called not the Nighthouse. Yeah. So anyway, I'm a big fan of AMC, not a sponsor, but consistently the best movie theaters in my area, in our area, New York, New Jersey. Anyway, So I was want to say, I want to say middle of something

happened I may have talked about on the podcast. I don't remember where they sent me six passes to free movie passes. Something happened either at a location or what my stubs card. There was some reason why they mailed me six good for any movie, which means you can use it like an IMAX on a twenty dollar movie.

You can still use it. Right. The only problem is most of the time when it's a big movie like Star Wars or a Marvel movie you want to order through the app, right, So I have these passes and they were good until July of twenty let's see hold on comes. Oh yeah, they were good until um July of I want to get these dates right July. Okay, my God, do not tell me. Don't hold on hold on, So I get these passes. I'm gonna get so angry

for you for me. Okay. So I get the passes and then COVID hits and all the movie theaters closed and the keyword key phrase and all the movie theaters closed, so you didn't have an opportunity to use them, right, So my passes expired? Um, well, I want to get to the first email here. Uh oh okay, So I I tweeked them and I say, hey, um, I just want to let you know I have these passes that fired. They're right, they expired in um in in June of

of this year. So they say to me, oh, all um, glad to hear you're happy to have to I saw you were back up, happy if theater is open again. But my past expired. They said, oh, your passes have been extended through the end of July. I hope that helps so they extended him from from the end of May two months to July. So I said, will every movie theater be aware of this? Also, I'm not going to be able to use six passes between now and July.

Can you please reissue me new ones that are at least good until December, at least on the amount of time that your theaters were closed, which is like six months, well a year, almost a year a year. So I said, the ones I have are only good until December twenty, That's what it was, right, So they I said, will all theaters be aware of this? So they wrote back, yes, all this is on on d M S. All theaters

will honor these passes through July. Unfortunately, we will not be able to exchange these passes since our theaters did not temporarily close until late late March of so you had January, February and a half of March to use your passes. Also, we would not be able to extend the passes you currently have, as those have already been extended by an additional six months, so I said, They wrote, I apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you Amber. So I

wrote back, thank you for getting back to me. Yes, I had two months last year to use six passes, meaning the beginning of twenty right, But that's not enough time. Now I've got a month to use five that I have left. I'm being punished now because you guys were closed because of the pandemic. Extending them an additional six months is not helpful when you've been closed for a year in the New York, New Jersey area. I would like to make this right, and as a one time exceptions,

I love the one exception. We will replace your passes that expire or have expired. Please provide your mailing address. We will send you six passes. Mike Drop. My six passes arrived and they are good until December one. So again I tell you slices. You thought you were about to take it in the balloon, knot. That's right. Don't let companies shoot on you when it's when you're justified.

You can't. You can't extend my passes six months when those six months you're closed, closed, right, and then when the movie theater opens, extended two more months. So I've got two months to use passes you gave me originally that were good for a year from the date issued, and and the dates of Fuzzy when I got him, So don't like, don't do. The next week, I'm gonna talk about the disaster that was the disaster that was my stay at a place that I love to stay at.

I'm not going to give the name out, but the breakfast and the brunch and everything was fucked up beyond recognition. But I was eventually made whole, and Brody would be so proud of me, and they may be whole. And when I say whole, I mean blue knot, blue knot. You know, do you know where I first heard the term balloon knot? Where Brody it was growing up? And you're off again, boys, boys,