#17: The UBER Driver Who Shared Too Much Information

we got going on? Man? I mean it's been a minute. It's been a minute. I got a long list, you know what. I'm actually overloaded this week too, with so much I want to talk about. By the way, shout out to all of our listeners who are like, where's the podcast? What's going on? I feel wanted for a change. Yeah, you know what. Oh, speaking of wanted, I gotta get my laptop. Why because there's a there's an itu UNEs review,

you know what. I'll I don't think I ever had a girlfriend that wanted me so much in my life. I mean, some of people are texting in the podcast is not up. It's Thursday. People are tweeting at us, people are texting us Elvis de Ran Show. I honestly feel like we like people like this is something that might be around for a while. As long as we don't get sick of each other. You can always get in touch with us. The Brooklyn Boys Podcast at gmail dot com. Big surprise the iTunes on this computer. It

wants to download a new iTunes. I get excited when I see a new download for an app though on my phone, for like, oh my god, they're gonna update Instagram today. Oh Twitter needs an update. And then all it says in the description line is fixing bugs, and you know, silly things like that, like I don't want to bug fix. I want to actually new functionality. Like the day that Twitter came out with doubling the amount that you could put in a tweet. That's an update,

not bug fix. Give me a break. So a lot of them are like these guys are funny, love Brodie's rand, Scary's hysterical. Here's my here's my favorite, at least of the thirties. So I read last night. It's from Rob left his wife two years ago. That's the account. That's the name of the account now at first it sounds offensive, but then it's so us Ready here's the review. These two jerkoffs made me piss my pants while driving home.

I also spit out my beer while laughing. Did you know the windshow wipe is don't work on the inside of the car? True story. Keep up the great work, boys. So Rob left his wife two years ago and now he has us two jerkoffs. They're funny, so cool. Thank you. Rob left his wife two years ago. Thanks, that's your friend Rob. No, that's not Nope, your friend Rob left his wife two years ago. We talked about this on the Fifteen Minute Morning Show. That's definitely your buddy, Rob,

that's your friend. I'd like to think that was just some listener. That's the guy. You just realizing this now on this dude, you're not really his friend. On a previous podcast job on the fifteen Minute Morning Show, Brodie

had his buddy Rob in studio with us. It was on the Bald to Brody in the room on the podcast live that this guy Rob left his wife two years ago, and Brody was because he's not a great friend of his found out that hold on, he found out that he's that he left his wife on the podcast because oh my god, I know that no idea about that, and Rob goes, that's because we haven't spoken it all this time. We've been out of touch. Anyway, Now, Brodie, you're reading a review from iTunes from a guy named

Rob left his wife two years ago. And it takes me to point out that that is your friend Rob submitting that review. Yes, I'm a bit well, there's lots of other reviews on iTunes that like us. Anyway, Thanks, thanks Rob, my friend of forever. Alright, very good. Did you really not know that was how? I didn't know that was him? Does it not his language? And it says I didn't read the name until just now. Alright. So here's a couple of things that on my list of things I want to do today. I have a

couple of rants, no kidding. I want to bitch to you about um a guest that you turned down. I want to I want a bitch about a celebrity scandal uh as far as um the sexual h predators and stuff. There's a celebrity I'm particularly upset about going on. You want a sexual predator as a guest On the unrelated I have one of those. I'm talking to him right now. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a celebrity that's been in the news a lot lately for inappropriately

doing things. And you know, but the way that you said that said that I didn't want no, No, no, I did. I said, you said no to a guest. I said, then I want to talk about another guy, different, different guy. But I'm not I'm upset with him for a different reason. Just clarifying that those are two different people. Brody did not want the sexual predator on the show. No, I did not. I've got unused jokes and I've got intern resumes I want to read. Give me that mail

time on stage all right. By the way, we're in that studio again where I have to push all the buttons, right. I don't like this. I don't like to shut up at all. Not that you're bad at pushing buttons. I just when you push my buttons, every chance again to hold on. But but I like to be the one at the board because that's where I feel most at home. Yeah, all right, here we go. Ready, Yeah, that sounds like it's mail time. Welcome, you've got mail? All right? We

got an email from co matics. DJ Cole says, this person, uh, hey, brody and scary. Sorry, that's the only way it should be listed, because I like things alphabetical and they're in a list. Okay, great, thank you. I find myself doing it subconsciously anyway. Um I um, I'm from Alabama and I've never been to New York, so when it comes to Brooklyn, I don't relate. Um and uh, but Brooklyn seems like a great place. I found myself correcting people's grammar.

Like you guys, I feel one of us. Yeah, I correct people's grammar two sometimes, and I'm sure you're gonna correct some grammar on some resumes coming up. Oh yeah. And I find it doing my doing it more now that I'm listening. Thank you Brodie especially. Oh uh. It gets me crazy when people say the c m A Awards Hello, it's them as them the Country Music Award. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What's this

person's name? D J Cole? Okay, DJ Cole, Uh, First of all, First of all, DJ Cole, love that you wrote email, love that you love our grammar correcting. But um, we have a rule when it comes to correcting. Rule number one, right, the problem is much like when we say a t M, don't say ATM machine because it

stands for automatic teller machine. When someone says, what's the VIN on your car, you don't say number number, vehicle identification number, and you'd be saying vehicle identification number number, right, And I see you unit, it's the I see you the intensive care unit unit. Right. You wouldn't say intensive care unit units, so you wouldn't say I see you unit. So he what what he's trying to hear what he's thinking about it? But he's thinking about it. But I

think he's here's where. Here's where you're wrong. I think may may have changed it years ago, but it's now the Country Music Association Awards. It legitimately is the c m A Awards. In fact, they call it the c m A Awards because it is the c m A Awards. It's like it's like the NBA Awards. The A is for not for awards, it's for something completely different, rights association association. So in this case, the the example that you're citing, call c m A Awards is right, is right.

You're saying it's wrong. It's right, it's not wrong. You're wrong about being right. If you would have said v m A Awards the Video Music Awards, and you wouldn't say Video Music Awards Awards, so you'd be correcting that person. So it looks like we're correcting call. So we're correcting the correction correct. It could be Iran. It is ironic, don't you think? Yes? Okay on, but you know half a point for call for tea. At least you tried to call call people. Try. You took the shot. You

had a break, but you took the shot. Lindsay McMahon writes, hey, brooken boys in out of inevitably one of your names will be typed in this email before the other. However, that doesn't mean I like one of you more than the other. Anyway. I want to shoot you guys an email and let you know how much I love your podcast. Whose name that she put first names a minute. I have to be honest. When I first started listening to the loud, emphatic bickering, I could leave me. I could

legitimately feel my BPM increase. That would be her blood pressure, by the way, she did not say bpm per minutes exactly. I gave it a chance, however, and I'm glad that I did. You're both hilarious and in very different ways. Brodie, you and I share fuck you. You and I share a love of grammar and a vexation for those who are incapable of probably properly preventing it like I get in that sentence. That was an ironic moment. With that said, I'm pretty sure I heard sip ashtin mannis Galco say

he has a six month year old baby. He did say if you got that too, I'm damn near positive if you wanted to correct him. Thanks for making me laugh. Scary and Brody, Wow, I can't wait to hear more. That's you change what she said. A couple of things. People also say one years old. It's one year old. Also, when you have twins, we know you have two twins. That's why they're twins. You don't have to say two twins. That's redundant. Okay. By the way, give out the email

address because it's texting. The Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail dot com. We couldn't make it any longer, we would have. Yeah, So the Brooklyn Boys Podcast at gmail dot com. And one final one from hiro Glyphics J A. I. R. O glyphics on work. This is only funny if they actually wrote the email on hieroglyphics. That would have been if his name is Hiro. This comes to us from Hieroglyphics, Bird Rocks Sun. Thanks, Hey Fellas, just wanted to say, but the subject is A big fan in San Diego.

Hey Fellas, wanted to say thanks for taking a time to create such an amazing podcast. I moved to Cali from the Tri State area. I listened to The Big Show, The Fifteen Minute Morning Show, and your podcast on iHeart Radio. You guys are amazing at what you do, scary, You're very entertaining and have the gift of gab. Save the best for list and Brody. Your rants give me life. And you're a comedy genius. You're witty and quick with the jokes you've you have me dying laughing at work. Wow,

you guys always make me smile. I look forward to every new episode. Also have my other coworker listening to you guys. We got another one, another one. I'm always going on and on about you all. Keep up the great work. Broken boys. A big fan from Sunny San Diego Hiero Glyphics. But I have a question. When you said that this person was dying laughing, you paused. Did they put a comma after dying that They did not.

They said, you have me dying laughing at work? You right, you have me, you have me dying laughing at work. Well they did. They did say dying lefting at work. Period. No space low case. You guys always make me smile. That's okay. You know what, you cannot capitalize if it's a compliment. But that's a rule. Well that's what I got for the week. Please email us. We do read the The Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail dot com. Let's talk celebrities for a minute. So in the news, Kevin Spacey. Look,

a lot of problems with Kevin Spacey. He's done some terrible things, allegedly, he hasn't denied them. We all know the story about Kevin Spacey. Great actor, He's had some He's been a lot of trouble. That's That's not what I'm most upset abou Well, I am most upset, But here's what I am secondarily upset about. Now. You know, in the New York papers there's a crime section, right, and in the crime section they show a picture of like criminals like, oh, of course, this guy robbed a bank,

this guy muggden old lady. And inevitably, what do we always see? Most of them are wearing what a Yankee Yankee cat. So when they do when they do the purple walk, the purple walk is when they're walking from the police car to the station house. Usually the you know, the media captures them and they're in handcuffs and or they're being led out of their house in handcuffs. Ever it is, they always are wearing a Yankee hat, right,

and so scary and eye is Mets fans. You know, if you're not familiar with baseball, Mets and Yankees are both in New York and is a levelry. So we're like another criminal wearing Yankee laughing Brody at one point in the old studio he had an entire wall of fame of this every time, every time, every time that somebody would be caught, he would literally cut it out of the paper and posted like posted on the walls like another purpose, another criminal being let out in handcuffs

in a Yankee hat. Right. So my theory was Yankee fans of criminals, because that's as a Met fan, I would say that I'm looking. I'm looking at the New York Post, but but not today, a few days ago by Kevin space Yeah, it's a there's a picture of Kevin Spacey. You know this is going and you know the New York Post, by the way, would miss no opportunity to rip anyone in Hollywood that they can. Uh, they're ripping Kevin Spacey. And I'm fine with that. He's

he's but he has my problem. It's Kevin Spacey walking down the street and he's wearing a Mets hat. So somewhere there's a Yankee and go and see. I told you all met fans of purvs. So that upset um. But that's not that's the celebrity I want to talk about. Okay, Who is the celebrity you really wanted to talk about? Okay? So, from time to time is one of the executive producers of the elvistra In Morning show. I get pr firms emailing me saying, do you want to have this person

on the show? That person in the show. Now, I don't book the guests anymore on the show. Nate does. So I voted him on to Ate and if they're appropriate for the show, he'll book them if they're not or if Elvis passes on the Big show. There's people that I'll say, hey, we should have them on the show, like you did with Sebastian man Scalco with the Fat Jewish. Right, You're like, oh, with Jackie, I wanted I want you called.

You said, dude, we gotta have Jackie the joke man on, like absolutely, And then I said, dude, we gotta have Sebastian on. But you found him and you're like scary. I got him with him and I said, Brody, we have to have the Fat Jewish on. And then we got the beat of collaboration. I got an email. I want to have this guy on. He as a new book out. I think he's hilarious. He's a sports fan. He even though he's not a New Yorker, he sounds like in New York. He's got the vibe. He's got

a Brooklyn vibe. I think he's from I think he's from the ATA know. I looked it up. He's not from brook anyway. The point is the guy's hilarious, he has an edge to him. Please give me. And then after he said no, you passed on him because I don't want to force anybody on you. Elvis was talking about how hilarious he is and in the studio was like, yeah, we passed on him. He's like, why why would you pass on him? Yeah, Elvis, of all people, he thinks we're so big now is the Brooklyn Boys. We can

pass on this guy? And Elvis said, dude, he'd be perfect for the Brooklyn Boys. And you know what, I'm sorry. Can I apologize to Michael rapp Michael Rappaport, I'm sorry of stage and screen, a regular cast member on Friends. He's he's got a fantasy football show on satellite radio which I listened to every week. He's he's he's a boy, like he's a guy. So you know what that that would have been a better been explained in person to me. I didn't think I need to tell you what Michael

Rappaport was. Don't throw me Bertie, don't throw me a quick email and be like, hey, you wanna have Michael on If you really feel strongly about you gonna put it on me. Well, not putting it on you. I'm just saying, if it's so important, you come to me on Monday or Tuesday back scary. Here's why we should have Michael rapaport on and then I assumed there wasn't no because honestly, I'm feeling bad now, So how can we get Michael rab I'm gonna I'm gonna try to

again him. But here's the thing, because there's a new book out. I think it's called This Book Has Balls and uh it's about you know, Bigger, Bigger Star Online five sold on. So just this week he put on a couple of videos. He's a big Knicks fan, and he was bashing Lebron James for two reasons. One Lebron Cities the King of New York hilarious video bashing Lebron, and then Lebron James and the Cavaliers. And by the way, this is not a slam. I'm not slamming Lebron James.

But they were on the New York City subway on the Sea Train, and they were acting like kind of cocky. They weren't acting like a New York I would act on the subway train. In fact, there's one scene where a friend of a friend of mine was sitting next to Lebron and they put the camera on him and the guy was like, get that. Can you stop and he put his hand over there, the lens of the camera, the phone, whatever. It was typical New Yorkers like I

don't wanna be bothered. So Michael Rappaport puts up rants on YouTube almost every day. So this is what we could have. This is him talking about Lebron. If you're an indie, if you're a Cavs fan, this is not me ranting on. I'm just letting you know. Here we go, Michael Rappaport, Yo, Lebron James is one of the corniest motherfucker's ever Forget in the NBA, Lebron James is one of the cornyest mother fucker's every top five dead or alive.

Look at this corny motherfucker on the subways of New York. My man, you're on the motherfucking subway. Hold your head, duke. You ain't at Disneyland. This ain't the motherfucking little teacup rod. Hold your fucking head, corn Ball. Oh motherfucker, I'll be putting that fucking camera in his face. Man. One man is trying to do his thing. Man, he's trying to

skeeak man. This is New York City. Man, fun as you do Corny More, the funk of taking videos like he's in Egypt and King touchs to motherfucker, you better get the funk off this train before you get Rob Jones pizza for the first New York This motherfucker on his as tonight. Hey listen, I was trying to think for the audience, thinking like nobody cares about Michael Rapport telling me he's great. Okay, so then let's I do want Let's have Michael Rappaport one. Okay, if the audience

wants him on, let's have him. So, just so there's no bad blood, I need you to say, Michael Rappaport, Yeah, I scared Jones. I'm sorry, Michael Rappaport, I scary Jones. I'm sorry. Thank you. A little later, by the way, I'm hoping that we can have Bethany come in here and do her curse for the week. So we got some text messages saying, hey, you guys, concurse on your podcast. Bethany never curses, Love Terra curse. Bethany cannot curse today, but she wants to be prepared with a really good curse.

He's gonna come in on our next episode. Our next episode on the next episode. Another one that we do the next episode. So she got a quick story. I doesn't want to tell you about what happened to me with Ubert. You want to talk about cursing. I had a Uber driver that all he did was cursed while I was in the car and he was telling me stories, just running expletives out of his mouth. How did he not know that? You know that I was gonna, you know, if I was gonna be sensitive to that or not.

I mean, actually I kind of thought it was funny because that's the kind of person. I am like, oh, yeah, you want to curse it fine, But the guy he starts cursing up a storm, and I could be some driver, you know, I could be some passenger who gives him like one star. You gotta be careful when you're driving Uber's. You know who your passenger is. You don't even know if you're gonna offend them. Um. But was even more

offensive was not the cursing. The guy tells me, He's like, yeah, So after I drop you off, I'm gonna head over to the doctors. I got a doctors appointment. I got my neck and I'm like, oh what what happened to your neck? He goes. Oh, he goes, I was driving for Uber last week in the overnight, and um, I fell asleep on the road and I hit the guardrail. Hello, why is he telling you this? Why are you telling me that you just gotta do a fucking car accident

a week ago? I do not share of stories like that. From that point forward. In the rest of my trip, I felt like I want to get out of the car. I'm like, is this guy gonna crash into something right now? Do not do that? You're you're headed to the doctor's Like, at least make up a story and tell you that's what you're a doctor's office, He's like, yeah, I just got out of a malpractice case. I'm sorry, I'm late, right, or or the surgeon that's about to operate on you.

But he's like, uh, did you know that I'm blind in one eye? His hand shaking, Yeah, I have Parkinson's Okay. Well, by the way, I know we sounded like that was scary. That was me. Come on, shut up, brod with a broken boys are offending stand up for a living? Not so yes, I don't want anyone like that operating on me. Do do we favor after that comment, don't get taken to have you a picture taken with a met head on. Shut up, dick, No. But but truth is, this uper

driver probably should have spared me the story. Worry that he's freaking. He's on his way to the doctor to help correct his neck because he was in a car accident a week before, from falling to sleep from driving on the road. And I asked him, I said, were you did you have a passenger in the car at the time? What were you going going to an appear? It was It was in Jacksonville, and I was headed to the St. John's Town Center Christmas tree lighting because

I was down at the I had a gig last week. Simon, I was at Simon Malls. Okay, I don't get into where you were going. Come on, because they're a sponsor, right did Simon Maull. Why couldn't you just say you were going in appearance? I was. I was going to my appearance at the St. John's Town Center. Maybe there's people listening to the podcast that can do again. You know, we talked about this, We talked about you know, plugging clients.

Damn it, hold on, yea, what the hell was that that's a scary and appropriate product endorsement, not cool jingle. But I'm not getting paid to talk about Simon Mall's right here. I'm just telling you what scary doesn't gain and hold on scary. No, No, you set me up for that. I was talking about an uber driver. You asked me where that where? The uber driver told me about the story. What you know about his neck and getting into an accident, and I'm telling you it happened

in Jacksonville, Florida. And then you lad the witness Brody, you let a scary and appropriate commercial slipping. I have that one too. I didn't slip that in on purpose. It was an accident, That's what she was, just being descriptive that I was at my peak sign. Stop it. It was an outdoor mall. They were lighting the Christmas trade. You're done, no more, don't mention them again. Stop it. They're not paying me for this, all right, I'm done.

What about you know what you get for that? What's jingles? You really are? Yeah? Alright, So listen, there's a couple of things that I want to rant about. But there's a couple of things you and I are both mad about. The same time. Well, it's not like we're mad. This is more of a discussion. Okay, one of them are mad about and one of them. You didn't get something.

Elvis was like, this is great, I want to show loves it and You're like, I don't get it right, And then no one in the room agree with you. And you looked over at me and I was like, I agree with you. I know, I know you got my back on this one. Um. Carpool Karaoke James Cordon, He's been doing that bit now for a couple of years. Listen. Very talented man. I think he's hysterical. He does that Mike drop bit. You know, did you drop the micing?

He dances. He's funny, very creative, very cool. I love when they, you know, do that those rap rankouts of each other and they go back and forth. Hilarious. But when it comes to carpool karaoke as a scholar of comedy or entertainment and general entertainment, UM, I've been afraid for the past couple of years to come out with this. I'm coming out a friend of getting shamed. Coming Yeah, I'm getting I got shamed by Danielle. I don't understand

what the big fucking deal is about carpol karaoke. Everyone on Earth loves it. Every time he does a car James Cordon does a carpolo karaoke, which is, if you're unfamiliar, he sits in a car and drives around wherever, yeah, with artists and celebrities and they sing songs and they do all kinds of crap in a car and they're

off key and they're having fun. It's like, just picture the quintessential um Wayne's world, you know, in the car doing the Queen's song Bohemian Raapsody, and everybody's here singing Scott a moose Scott. Okay, all that. This is what James Gordon does on UP. I guess he goes once or twice a week, but every time he does it, it always makes the press. Twitter goes crazy about it and everyone say, that's so great. I've been afraid to say, but I'm now gonna have to just come forward and

be the only guy on Earth. I fucking hate that big, but now I said it to the show. Danielle went off on me like I knew she would, because that's which is why I was in fear all this time because of people like her, who's gonna come out and start I think this is one of those things that people are afraid to admit they don't like. And I think everyone's saying they like it so they can feel

like they're part of the in crowd. But secretly people are gonna email us and tweet us and go, oh my god, I hate it to me too, because when I looked at you, Brody, you you looked at me, You're like, yeah, I'm with you, dude. I don't know. Don't they get this straight. People get in a car, they drive, We all do that. They sing to the radio, we all do we all do that. But more importantly, it's singers singing, right. Why are we amazed by that?

You know? Why? What is the show made? Demi Levado hitting a fastball that you know, like carpool baseball, I'll watch that. But the other thing is it's not there's there's no mind words, it's mindless, there's no clever. It's not clever. It's it's not like do a parody, change the words and make it fun. Yeah, you do something. That's the fact that Britney Spears is singing a Selena Gomez song and their da sing at the same time. Okay, it's it's just whatever. You you can do that with

your phone on Snapchat. I'm gonna go in my car and I'm gonna drive. And some of these artists do they go if you go look at them on Snapchat or into the story. Some of these artists are out there like singing into a mirror or whatever. I don't I don't get it. But here's what's worse. It's a phenomenon. Why is it as big as it is? You know what. I don't think it's as big on television. I think it's a great share able moment on Facebook and Twitter.

You can send the YouTube, I think. On I think the purpose of that is to be a shareable YouTube thing. But look, if you get Paul McCartney to sing call me maybe right, then I go, you know what, that's pretty big. But if you have called Carl ray Jepson singing the Beatles and I don't care. So unless it's something shocking, oh my god, I can't believe. Like if Taylor Swift was singing Katie Perry and you know that

and they hate each other, sign me up. There, you go, that's a good version if he if he could end a beef, if he could have like Meek Mill. Uh, it's like sing a Drake song whoever they're feuding with, like one of those one of those feuds. Did I go you know what callpool karaoke brought them together? Like if if back in the day he had Tupac singing Biggie or Biggie singing Tupac, Did I go this is news? Uh so yes, tweet us but Sam Smith singing one direction? Yeah, yeah,

hashtag carpool Carrie nod the same thing. Because we great minds think alike, Oh look what I found scary? Hold on, here we go tell you that I gety. You can do that from the street the black sawake and not dude, I'm not impressed. Not impressed, by the way. Did you see Real Fortune? By the way, speaking of television, so annoying. Okay, So you know at the end round, people used to always guess R S t l n E. So they give you R S t l n E, and they let you pick three more letters in a vowel. So

this guy and his I guess his daughter. I don't know, doesn't matter if he younger, younger woman, he picked C, D, P O. Right, those are some odd letters anyway, So it was food, right, right. So I'm looking at the puzzle. The puzzle is blank blank blank E D. So something right, and then it's blank blank C C blank blank and blank. So here's the clip, okay, and then we'll tell you that the grandpa going for millions dollars, all right, and

here's why he should. I'll tell you why he should have one that's not correct, and then we don't have to check the time because you are amazing. Okay. So the old guy didn't win his daughter wherever she is, I assume it's his daughter. First of all, she yelled out fried like he was, like, it's zucchini. She fried fried zucchini. First of all, they didn't confer. She yelled

it out. They had plenty of time. Now, if I'm looking at if we know it's zucchini and it's blank blank blank e D. If you eat zucchini and it's been blanked, it's been fried, it's right exactly. Zucchini is fried. So f and they they said it was baked zicchini. Now, he's the only thing that I can that fuck you with baked who you don't baked zucchini. That's not the first thing that you think of when you think of zucchini. You fry zucchini. Zucchini is fried. This is what pisces

me off. Now. The only he had it black blank blank e d it's gotta be fed. I just credit the person who wrote the puzzle, because nobody bakes zucchini but his right. But here's what I'm gonna say is why they screwed the guy. I feel I sound like you, Bertie. Here's why. Here's why they're screwing people. I'll tell you why they're screwing people. If your wheel of fortune and you know you're giving them rst l n E, then you just make a puzzle that doesn't have those letters.

And this way the guy doesn't win the million. They picked baked because they didn't have an R in it fried. By the way, she R was a used letter because they would give an R s t l n E. She should have known not to say fried. And maybe if she spoke to her father rather than blurting it out, she would have seen that it can't be fried, right because there was no RS in the puzzle. But who baked sukin it don't tweet us an emails that you baked zucchini because you're healthy. The point is it's like

you wouldn't say, like french baked French fries. You wouldn't say piece of pizza. You'd say slice of pizza. So it can't be peace. You say, like there are certain things that just go. You wouldn't say fried Alaska, you'd say baked Alaska, baked potato, you would say fried potato necessarily, and you said French fries. But the point is, so she shouldn't have yelled out fried should because there was

no R in the puzzle. And you may, I know you've given away a million dollars, but when you make it baked zucchini, and you know, looking at that puzzle, there's no there's no R, there's no S, there's no T, there's no L, there's no there's only one N and and one E. They basically gave them an E and an N. They knew by saying big zucchini, no one was guessing at tweet us and tell me you would have guessed bag zucchini. No one would have guessed big zucchini. No,

you wouldn't. That's why they didn't want to give away the million dollars. That's what I'm saying is a scam going on. They deliberately absolutely R S T L n E. We'll just have a puzzle with none of those letters. Yeah. I always said that, by the way, and they throwing us and eyes in zucchini because what if what what letter you're gonna pick A or oh, you're not gonna pick you R. I'm gonna pick you R I. By the way, it's it's it's it God call back. All right,

done with that. I got one more short rant. You got a rant. When you spoil something, okay, milk, no, like a movie or TV show, like a spoiler, Like if you say, oh, spoiler alert, no no, no, right, no, you know when you say the spoiler, it's a spoiler. What what What I'm saying is you don't go, hey, no spoiler alerts no no, no, no. Spoiler alert means you're about to spoil something, right, But a spoiler alert isn't the spoiler. People keep confusing that, oh, a spoiler alert,

he dies. That's fine because you gave an alert. You really should get more of a time space. Yeah, you shouldn't just say it and go right into it. People are calling spoilers spoiler alerts, like, hey, hey, I didn't watch the episode, so here's a spoiler alert for right. No spoiler alerts, No, no, no, you mean no spoilers. Right, I got out of the way. I feel like you're getting this very cathartic for you, prod. You're getting a lot of you. Okay, so let me cross off Kevin

Spacey in the Mad Hat. Okay, Michael Rapp. I love how you have a list. Oh I got Okay. It's it's literally like you you purge on the podcast, Like I just can't wait to say record on that podcast because I gotta listen things that I just gotta get off. This podcast is helping my marriage because I'm not venting at home. Now. Here's what I have. I have unused jokes which are definitely gonna get to I have intern resumes which are almost a rant because they're pathetic. They're

hilarious and pathetic. Um, I want to talk about I wanted. This is one more rant I want to do. It's not really a rant, it's a mini rant. It's more of a complaint. It's my own fault. I went to the Movies Friday. Here's what I'm gonna say. If they remake a murder mystery with a surprise ending, it shouldn't be the exact same surprise ending. So I none of the reviews said it. It's the same exact it's exact.

So if you see Murder on the Orient Express if you've seen the original from the seventies, which is a classic film, but don't go see it. It's like, um, if they remake King Kong, which they keep doing, he's gonna die at end, right, Titanic, same thing, same thing. The boat's gonna crash. By the way, they rereleasing Titanic next month, and know what New York they're doing. I don't know if it's national for the twentieth anniversary. By

the way. That okay, so you can spoiler alerts. When Titanic was new came out the December ninety, I said to somebody, go, wow, the scene where it hits the iceberg, like hey, hey, hey, don't get away the ending. You can't. You can't spoil history like it already happened. The Nazis lost World War Two. I'm not weaken. Got shot in the theater, that's right. I mean, it's my fault. I'm just letting you know I wasted fourteen dollars express Uh does it look better in high definition and with my

you know, in imax whatever it was? Yeah, it was great. It looked great on the screen in my recliner chairs. That AMC has loved the leather recliner chairs. But don't waste your fourteen dollars on a murder mystery if you already know the ending, which I did, and so few murder mystery remakes. Wow, we're just gonna just just hit him hard with rants. So when even gonna have a conversation about this stuff? All right? You know, I just

my my head is like pounding. I wanted to tell you a couple more things, actually what was going on? Because I want a bitch about a kid in the movie theater, and then I want to talk about resumes and jokes. But it's a kid. It's a kid. Okay, that's what he said. Okay, hold on, I'm gonna Oh my god, Brodie. So I'm at the movie theater and I'm online, and you know what, I went by myself. I just decided on Friday, my wife was out with the kids running errands whatever. I was like, I'm going

to the movies. I said, if the movie is playing at this exact time, I'm going, And it was playing at that exact time, and out of my house, got run right to the theater. I'm online. There's maybe five people online, but right in front of me is three teenagers. I am gonna say, seventeen baseball caps flannel shirts walk right of an Abercrombie and Fitch store. Great Abercrombie if this small. So they're laughing up a storm, and you know me, I'm Mr Fun. Everybody knows that, and you

put the fun in fun, right. Yeah. So the one guy, the one, the one teenager I'm assuming, backs up into me as he's laughing and it kind of elbows me, gives like a half turn to make like to just look for a split second, and then goes back to joking with his friends. Now you know me. So I say excuse me, and he says, what I said, you bumped into me with your elbow. Oh, he says, oh, so I said, you know, you could say excuse me or sorry it it would be nice. He's ir, Mr,

It's all good. Relax, relax. He told you to relax by the way, when if you ever seen me relaxed, So I say, no, I'm relaxed, but you should you should, you know, you should say you're sorry, You're excuse me. When you bump into somebody, you know, you elbowed me and was trying to teach this guy. Uh. I was kind of annoyed so and it was my wife wasn't then to stop. There was no apparent other people's kids. I wasn't doing that. I was saying an adult to adult,

and there was nobody there to calm me down. There was nobody that talks sense into me. You even like Brody, let it go, but no one was there. So I said, hey, I'm calm, but when you bump into me, I'm just saying you should say excuse me. That's the polite thing to do. It really is right. But you can't. You gotta expect the worst out of people, Brody, You can't. You know. I've I've made a living walking through life just being extremely uh, you know, just kind of like

expecting very little from people. And if you expect nothing from someone, then you know what, you're pleasantly surprised when you get something good in return. Otherwise I just curb my enthusiasm. I know what you're saying, should curb your enthusiasm,

but I can't do that. I can't do that. So instead I say to him, listen, seriously, you awe me an apology, and he says, relaxed, man, I'm just a kid, like because he thinks someone see now, that would be the job of somebody else to intervene and say, like, hey, leave the guy alone. He's just a kid. But you can't be the kid. And he's a kid, right, He's like, hey man, I'm just a kid. Like in other words, don't come at me. First of all, I wasn't coming

and I wasn't threatening at all. I'm not a violent person. But he's like, hey man, I'm just a kid. Like relax Like, okay, he gets a free pass. So I said, no, what you are as a kid with no manners? Boom, I'm tilling. You know. I vented at him, So fuck him. It's my job to say he was just a kid. Fuck him and his two buddies with the backward baseball caps that he that with him. He was just a kid. He's still a kid, but he's a you know what a kid is fourteen twelve, thirteen eleven. The kid is

eleven holding his mom's hands. A kid is not sixteen seventeen. Maybe drove the car himself to the movie theater. Few kid and I'm a kid, Hey man, I'm just a kid. I don't approve of him using the excuse it was somebody else's job to jump in and be like but nobody would have jumped in because I was being polite. I was being I was being pleasant. You can't let anyone get away with it. I wouldn't sound it's being pleasant. But body, I swear to God, if you weren't working here,

you'd be a great lawyer. Well you know, I told you I was going to be a lawyer. I was on my way pre law you were, you were on your way. But that did happen. You know, public service for people, uh, this is people with iPhones. I know this doesn't apply to the public service, doesn't apply to me, okay, but but you know, and I talked about this quickly on the air, but for about two weeks. Now, that problem where you say the letter I or I am and it comes out as capital a question mark with

a box around it. That was a glitch that happened with Apple about two weeks ago. So everybody on the internet was going crazy thinks that their phone was There was even a shirt that said a question mark love you. It's very funny, I love you. So anyway, it became a thing. Here's the problem. Here we are now two weeks after this glitch happened, and people are still writing in their everyday comments on social media and they're still having these issues, and the a question mark is still there.

It shouldn't be a thing anymore. People. It's really very simple. Okay, they issued Apple issued Apple issued affix in software. Listen, eleven point one point one has been sitting there in your inbox on your phone now for about a week and a half. It's time to just go into that little section of your phone and click the button. This is installed now. In five minutes, the problem will be gone. You do not ever have to have a question mark again.

There's no It doesn't take up more space on your phone, if you you know what I'm saying, Like like, it just boggles my mind that when I put this out there on Twitter, people actually came back to me and said thank you. I had no idea how do you have not know? How do you not have an idea? Are you the kind of person that doesn't update the software on your phone? Do you not update your software? Protect? I update myself. I updated myselfware this week. And what

would you if did the software update? Why would you not update? I don't get the podcast we were talking about downloading updates for you? Yeah, a bug fix? Yeah? Whatever? What point is I put on a flight updates? Sometimes when they say security, if they say like security patch or like your phone now speaks Turkish, but I don't need. But when you know that you've all gotten a Turkish update, you know what I'm talking about? Cares about that? I

don't care. But when you know that the software update is containing the glitch to a the fix to a glitch that has been plaguing you every fucking ten seconds because you use the letter I the word I in a sentence, then then you should probably update your phone. I feel like this started out where it could have been a rant, but it ended up as a public service announcement. It's a public service announcement. I'm not trying

to rant. You've done enough ranting. I'm not I'm not trying to I'm trying to balance it out with a public service. I'm gonna take your phone. I'm gonna make my public service into a public service rant. I'm gonna meet you in the middle. You're gonna meet me halfway, meet you halfway in turn season again. And I'm the guy that was through all the resumes and cover letters and on Elvistra and dot com. It tells you what

I need. It says to put in a resume with a cover letter, and the cover letter should have certain things. Tell us why you want to intern here, talk to us about why you want to be why you think you'd be a good intern, right right. It tells you what I want you to talk about. And I get I get cover letters that act like they didn't see it, They pay no attention to it. They do copy and paste where they just like I really want to work for your company, paste Elvistrand in the morning show, right,

I think I would be great at your company. Look, I know a copy and paste cover letter when I see it. But it's when you get the same grammatical mistakes every semester, when you get run on sentences, when you get one long paragraph the whole page is one you can't read it, so I'm gonna read to you just some Here's the number one mistake. I tweet this every semester. Three of the first four resumes I read this semester had the same mistake. Wait, wait, wait, wait,

I know what it is. I can I guess the opening sentence? No, I want to be a part of your morning show. Yes, it's not the opening sentence, but it's always there. Apart They actually they make one word, one word as a part apart. Right. Now, here's how you remember it. Apart is separate. Now it's it's reversed because technically apart separately is the opposite of apart. It means the opposite, right, So apart actually means away from, and a part means together. Even though a part is

is actually separated. They're reversed when you look at them. But if you say to me in one word that you look you want to be a part of the morning show A P A R T. A part of the morning show is one word means away from, separate from, and I assure you that you're going to stay that way, separate from the morning. Come on, do you really disqualify people, because yes, yes, yes, yes, So wait a second. Now, now, how long is it gonna You said three out of

the first four resumes, right, that's right? Fourth? Does that mean those three resumes automatically get tossed and it doesn't matter how great they might be? Pretty much? Really? Now, look, you could have could your typo, but when you do it two or three times in the sentence, in the paragraph, or in the cover letter, you're out. Look if you have a fantastic resume and a fantastic and you make that mistake, I might overlook you. Instructor. Here are some

more resume flubs. I am submitting this for consideration for position as an intern for Elvis Duran and The Morning How capital h o w wow, you're out in the morning. This person wrote, since I remember myself, I was always very passionate about music. What they mean is as long as I can remember. But what they wrote was, since I remember myself, you're out, well, prod you waiting second death birds? And could be like a Nope, they're not.

They're not someone that is learning the English anguage. They're not there. But what if they're skilled at all the other things? They're not. Since I remember them as they're not throughout. Let's see, this person wrote, Danielle's laugh caused my mother and I, So that's wrong. It's my mother and me uh to burst to burst out laughing, So that's fine. Then they wrote, not a day goes by that I tell almost everyone I come across the Elvis Durran Show is my future boss, and how Danielle is

my best friend. What they meant was not a day goes by that I don't tell everyone. They left out the word don't, so they're saying, not a day goes by that every day I don't tell people. Okay. Then they wrote my willingness to offer anything in a heartbeat, will not be hesitant. Wait what does that even mean? I don't know. Then they wrote, Then they wrote, then they put a coal in my person No, no, no,

just not the not the best in cover letters. So then they wrote to getting coffee, writing or editing news stories for the Danielle okay, you're out. Okay, by the way, so far, that would be the only one that I would disqualified all the rest I would actually give second chances to. I mean that one was hold on. I learned about this internship whenever the people on the s O w talk about it on the air, and also I listened on the fifty minute morning shows. Right, I

see that you're accepting resumes and cove letters. No are you're out? Okay? Uh? Hold on. I am a junior at Blank University majoring majoring in journalism and media studies, with the goal of one day becoming a new reporter, a new news report. You're out. I'll but come on, brod you just a little. There's other problems. These are just ones that I'm highlighting in the couple is other. Don't rule my bit. Okay, it makes you sound like

a tyrant. Hold On, hold on, hold on, you gotta explain that there were other things wrong, because if it's done, I make it sound right now, it sounds you're coming across one other and you're out. No, no, no, no, you're not giving anyone a second change. No, this is this is hold on. This person wrote, I understand the ideal candidate for this position would obtain multiple qualities. No, no, you have to have multiple qualities. You don't obtain them

when you get here. Okay, but they're probably not with a men. Hold on. Here's where I call this one the ironic resume of the week. This is the same one I just read. This is continuing. Proper grammar and efficient speaking speaking skills are two more qualities that I would be able to contribute if chosen. I am one who is able to clearly express my words in a way that would not disappoint. I can guarantee I possess

these p O s E s okay uh. And they wrote and then they said these previously listed qualities in a manner that would excel the requirements of an ideal candidate. They meant exceed. You're out. Hold on. By the way, those are all from last cemented on as a kid. Yes, yes, I was, Okay, look at this one. This this one, here is the full pageh either tell me what we're going for here. By the way it starts off with

my name is there's no hello, dear sir madam. Nothing, there's no address, not in the form of a couple letter. You can use word and it tells you like it, formats it for you, but no, there's no format here. Here's what they wrote, and you tell me what they're saying. I want to intern for Elvisten in the morning show because I feel they are my kind of people because it's the place where opportunity happens, and simply because I

would like to work towards goals. They have to give back for how they helped me reach mine, and I had nothing else but to smile about and learn from them. Wait, what right? You're out? That sounds like my weird Al Yankovic question. That's correct. Okay, here is them selling themselves. Ready, this is the couple letter. I would be a good fit for this internship position because this is a position. I'm sorry, I would be a good fit for this

internship position because this is position. It one that I really want it one. This one. This kid's aiming high, aiming high. This guy wants to go in turn to see, I am interested in being the radio industry. That's really high, going for the top. Hey that guy, he's the radio industry, the industry. Okay, Um, I can learn new new resume. I can learn new things about radio that I never did before. I can handle difficult, that's it. I am

always fascinated by how radio industry work. You're out? Nope? Okay, uh next one. I am currently taking a course in title writing for radio entitle Yeah you should so granted the d is missing. That's not a big deal with doing this podcast. That's what I'm reading this for. But the fact that he's taking a course in writing. It's entitled writing for Radio. So you're out. This person starts off their cover letter Elvis Duran D you r R A N. Get the guy's name right, Hello, that's the first.

That's rule one one. The company and the position you're applying for. Know what it is, No, how it's spelled. Oh my god, that's terrible. And this one this is here. Look at this one here, there's no margins zero fox given by the way, no margins. And look at it closely. There's not a capital letter on that page. Oh my god. And there's no periods, there's no punctuation. Cover letter looks like a text message. So yeah, wow, this is brutal. And and she's got a hotmail account. Who the hell

still have those? Snob email? Doesn't matter who you listen, I get it l address. So so you think the whole world should have Gmail? That's it, right? What else is there? What else? The hotmail went out of business? I thought, who the hell has a hotmail address? Apparently a lot of people have. I get a little hotmailed emails. Get out of here. What's the difference with hotmail? What is the difference what your email says, what we're saying.

I would say, who's a snob? Now I'm looking through this. This is ridiculous while you're doing that hotmail account right, this is uh, that's not my music? What are you looking for? Brodie rant music? Not not? Sorry, my bad? There we go. What was that unused jokes? That was the circus music? That's our news Understokes, Ready go for it in Loo. It's a little bit. These are jokes that I wrote for the show that we didn't get to.

There was a news reporter. Garrett played a clip of a news reporter where everything she said was a song title of Taylor Swift's and she came off kind of hack. So I said, that's because her i Q is fifteen Taylor Swift joke. All right, Um, she has a song called ted Okay, I like two? All right? Well then he was twenty two, just his bed. Elvis said on the radio, if people watch come to my house for a party and they turn on sports, they're out. And my joke was which he didn't want to do. Elvis,

everyone at your party is out. Of course, I knew that was coming. There you go. Um oh. Nate was talking about how he had um a pro lapsed hemorrhoid, meaning on the outside of his ass, pro lapses like outside right. So he said he did something stupid and I said, oh, he had a pro lapse of judgment. We're gonna get to that. Uh. Nate said he took a picture of that gross thing on his ass, and elvislys, I want to see it. He goes, I'm not showing to you, and I said, oh, I think he posted

it on snapschat. We didn't get to that. Bob Saggett. Bob Saggett was here from full House, Fuller House, the Great Bob Saget and he was eating our Italian food and Elvis said, hey, can you go get him? I want to bring him in and yell at I'm freating our Italian food. He was out in the hall. So I go out there and Bob Saggett says, hey, I can't come in because I got another interview I gotta do. I'll try to come in later. So, uh, this was my joke. I got to use my joke. He didn't

want to do it. So I did the joke myself on the air. He says, where's Bob sagett I said, he couldn't come in right now. He's he's starting in a new show called full Mouth. Okay. Uh. Elvis was talking about his beautiful new cornucopia but he has on his table and I said, oh, it's gorgeous. They don't want to do that. That's cute. There you go. Uh. Danielle couldn't remember the name of a perfume. She's like,

I can't. It was Guardinias something, Guardinia Guardinia, So I said, did it smell like Vincent Guardinia, the old Italian actor? He didn't wanna do that joke. I wouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have done that one. You said you tried to convince people you're fat Tom Cruise. Yes, so I said, you're a Tomato Cruise. You're a big, fat tomato looking Tom Cruise's cute. Yeah, he didn't do that. Uh. Here's

some jokes that weren't for the show, but there. They were too dirty for the show and really probably too offensive to put on Twitter because I don't want to offend my fellow comics. But Louis c K, one of the greatest stand up comics in the world, is in a lot of trouble for masturbating in front of women and uh, sexual harassment and whatever. So I wrote two jokes that I have not been able to use anywhere,

but I'm using him here one what a jerk off? Okay, and Tom and you guys can use this, but give me credit. Remember you can't spell cock without c K. So there you go. Not was unused joke. Why do I have this one in front of me? Wheel of flatulent? Oh? This is This is an unused joke that that got rejected to me by Elvis. I I wrote it for him. We both wrote a joke. This was an example of us both writing a joke. So Garrett played a clip. Let's see if I could find Oh it was. It

was a Wheel of Fortune clip. It was from the show Wheel of Fortune, not the same one where the grandfather loses a million dollars that we just played. It was I think a woman was talking. Excuse me, that's right? Oh, oh yeah, yeah, I just heard she got a free play. Yeah. So I wrote a joke for him that was Wheel of Fortune? Were fortune? And that's the one he went with on the air, right, but I, at the same time gave Elvis a joke wheel of flatulent right now,

it's funny, but fortune and fortune is closer. He went with that. He went with fortune right, well, a fortune, well, a flatulent flatulence flatulent, not as close will a flatulen? Come on, it's flatulent flatulen. Anyway, he gave that advantage, Brodie, he used Brodie, Mine was the unused joke, because that's why I read it to you right here. And by the way, funny story. The next letter that lady chose and real fortune was yeah, So I want to I

want to apologize for I've teased this before. I have a rant about a pool store. Now it's still oh my god, I know. So next episode I will get the rant out about the pool store, terrible customer service, f them and I'll tell you why. And I caught them. I caught them. We'll do it next episode. Alright, we had we We had no conversations here. It was just list list list. It was listing rant rant, Michael, list list list. You want to have a conversation. I want

to have a conversation with me. I think the uber thing was a good conversation, so let's get at it. Thank you for listening to episode who Is We Love You appreciated Brooks Boys, Boys