#133: Stay Out Of My Pool!

fix our edits. Are we lazy? Or are we just transparent? I wonder sometimes I think it's the first. I think it's the former. Yeah. Well, um, here we are again recording on a Saturday. I'm gonna state for the record right now, this is going to be the last weekend that I'm recording this pod cast. We have to move back to week days. We've got to move it back to the Thursday or Friday or Wednesday. Even I'm done. I'm literally done. The weather. It's eighty five degrees outside,

it's sunny. Um. I got an invite to a barbecue, I got an invite to a pool party. My girlfriend wants to see me. I got friends sitting at sitting outside at at all book and restaurant. No, I am, I am popular. I'm gonna go with that. I know it's fine. So it's the last time. I'm not doing it anymore on a weekend because we're sitting here for two hours and I'm I'm yeah, it's a quarter two by the way, on a Saturday afternoon. Yeah. Well, you see, I live a different life. Every day is the same

for me. And I've got a pool in the backyard, so i just go out to the pool. I don't care what it is. Hey, by the way, sick invite? What sick invite? Well, you mean when you went out to dinner with all your friends every night this week you got invite? Yeah, you've had You've had a pool since I've known you, and I've never gotten. Never, I've never gotten an invite to your pool. First of all, you knew me for twenty years. Yeah you never got Uh here's the thing, um, you you knew me for

a year before. No, you don't have the cooties. You never you never got the invite. I'm started to take it personally. I'll tell you why you don't get the invite. Um, and you go out too much with too many people I don't know, and I don't I don't need you having a Corona pool party here. So when there's a vaccine,

we can have a conversation about you coming over. It's fine. Yeah, but you've never expressed any interest because you are allergic to children and I have three of them, and you have not made it obvious that you'd like to come over. I've never gotten at the invite. Even in BC before Corona, I've never gotten the invite. I just explained it you because the kids. Yeah, you've made it very clear. You're

a single guy. Now, had you come over in the the roughly eleven months that I lived here where I didn't have a kid, the first eleven months, you could have. You could have come over in that window you lost your window, right. I just find it find it really odd. Yeah, but you also you're beautiful. Pool you're not, Yes it is, but you're not a pool guy. You're a pool party guy. That's not you. Don't You don't go to pools like, hey, I want to hang out with my friend's pool because

I like swimming. You go because someone shooting foam out of a cannon. That's what you go to. I don't enjoy a great afternoon by a pool like anyone else, don't. I live in an apartment complex where we have an indoor something. It's not even a pool, it's just like a it's a cess pool. That's a sauna. You don't remember the sauna, a sauna and a hot tub. And then that's a community hot tub. That's a Petri dish. You never gone up there, And I've never never fan of the pool. I'm not a fan of I'm not

a fan of an indoor community hot tug. There's a difference. I'm a pool guy. If I go to a dumpy hotel and they've got a dumpy indoor pool, I'll still go in it. Really like a I like a pool. You'll need bottle service, you need bikinis walking by you, the insto, the story of the you do the panoramic of the pool. Then you do like you raise your arm as high as you can, and then you show yourself in the pool with everybody behind my hands in the air, like I just don't care. Right, I waited

for the DJ to drop the beat. Right, you are not the guy who goes to my house and hangs up by the backyard pool and talks about sports and has a beer in your hand and just put your feet up. Everyone gets desperate sometimes. No, yeah, thank you for making my house desperate. It's it's you're not going to a pool. I've seen. I've been to hotels with you. I've traveled with you. Half the time. You sit by the pool. You don't even go in the pool. You you don't want a pool. Scary cabana. You know you

want a cabana. That's what you want. You want to sit in the cabata. You have a cabana and bring and have them bring you or derbs. You have a cambana. No, that's why you don't come here. I got humped. Dial it down. First of all, you're pegging my needles, if you know what I'm saying. Okay, if I wish, if you could pack your own needle, we wouldn't even on the phone right now. Take a deep breath. It starts

us over. Okay, we started off on the wrong. You would like okay, start off Okay, you would like to come to my house, I would and swim in my lovely in ground pool. Yes I would. Also, you also said the magic word in ground. I mean that makes it even more spectacular. That's great because you don't want to climb up into a pool. Um, but look, if you had above ground pool, god bless you. I'm just saying it's too much work for me, so even more so, why it would be nice to get an invite to

your pool. Somebody, a friend of mine called me and I said, oh, how's your pool going? And they said, oh, I don't have to get a new pool. I said why, He said, I set up the pool this year in my back yard. He set it up. He set up the pool and it's leaking. Oh you know what? You also, so you set yourself up right there for the invite for him. Do you probably put your foot in your mouth after you ask that question and got that answer? No, no, no, I didn't know. No. No, he doesn't live in state.

It's not okay, he doesn't. He doesn't. He lives it, lives enough farther enough, far enough away. He's not coming here to get in my pool. Besides, he he already ordered a new pool. You know, we're boys. It would be nice everyone's in a while. I'd be like, hey, scary, what are you doing after work today? Since we get off at ten am. Hey, listen, bring you up tomorrow. Bring your bathing suit and bring your banking suit. And after work, just drive out to my place and we'll

jump in the pool. We'll have a couple of beers and we'll put on a little h listen. We'll put on like a speaker, a bluetooth speaker. It doesn't have to be. We can listen to some nice music and catch up on life and what do you consider nice music? Whatever it is you want to put on a kiss ahead, go for it at your house. Right. That's the only band you know what like deaf Leppard. There you go. That's my two favorites. Okay, so we'll go to the backyard,

right and you'll come out. You'll come put your bathing suit. I won't be bougie, I won't act. I won't ask for the bottle service or look for models anywhere. I'm looking for Calvin Harris to drop by and fucking start spinning. Okay. What I'll do is I'll bring the dish soap out, like from the dishwasher. I'll squirt that in and fluff it up, makes some some foam for you so you feel like having a phone party. And then after five minutes.

After five minutes, if you're saying, oh, nice pool, bro it's really an ice and then you'll go so um, okay, no, come on, you know me better than that. You really you really think that a little. Then you'll say, Brodie, we should do a podcast in the pool. We should do a Yes, that's a great idea, podcasting by the pool. I don't think anyone we should do a podcast in the pool. We could actually mount the equipment on a

floatation device right right, what do you think? Microphone, and we'll put that on a on a what do you get? Like you'll import the float from Germany. We'll get one of those rubber ducky floats and I will be in your pool on a rubber ducky float broadcasting. We'll have a headset microphone, remember the old school ones that they used to use while it's singing and not singing and dancing like Brittany used to do whether the microphone was

off and she used to do her moves like. We could get one of those mix except we'll turn the mic on and you'll actually hear us talking and we could I bet you the frame of mind we would be in in doing that episode of the podcast would be some of the best material ever because we're in a relaxed state. See right now in my hot, sweaty apartment, while I'm staring out at the sun, it's eighty five

degrees at I am not relaxed. I'm actually anxious and I have FOMO because I'm missing out on whatever is going on outside and I'm here doing this podcast with you. Not that I don't love the slices at all, but I would rather do this on a Thursday afternoon. By the way, it is fomo, the fear of missing foam, because again, you know that would be that would be foam. You have phone phone. By the way, it sounds like the way you described your apartment. It sounds like you're

in a sauna. So you're halfway there. You got a sauna? Well, actually, okay, I lied. I do have central if you fill up, if you fill up your tub, you got a pool. I lied. My air conditioning works. Um, I will say, can I give you a a little headset trivia headset you're talking about that the headset that goes over like one year and then the microphone wraps around your mouth. Yeah,

that the typical like time life operator standing by. Yeah, if you ever go into any of the Old Navy, Banana, Republic or Gap stores and the largest stores where they have those headphones so that they can communicate and then talk to the stock room. Uh. I was a manager in the store, the Old Navy store in Manhattan that was the first ever to use those headphones. We were the test store because at the time we were the biggest store in the company Gap Banana, Old Navy, Gap, Kids,

Baby Gap, all of that. We were the biggest store in Chelsea in Manhattan on East Street, and it was so big. It had three floors when I worked there. I think now it's four or five floors. No, it had two floors when I worked there. Now it's through they open up. It's it's huge, nows even twice as big. When I worked there, it was so big they gave us headsets and we were the first stores to use the headsets ever. First. Okay, you the guinea pig. Yeah.

So I I would walk around with it like, uh, tilted up to the side of my head and then if you had to call somebody in the stock room or in the back of the store, you'd flip it down.

That was like my um my touch on moment, So would flipped the microphone down and when you flip it, it goes on and now you're no. You had to then reach to your hip and squeeze the button like a walkie talkie because they're walkie talkies, and you go, I need a thirty three thirty two length style slim fit blah blah blah, and you let go and then you hear we don't have those. Now, what what did you call it when there was a potential shoplifter? Um,

let's see an Express. I worked for Express. We said there was, um, a light bulbout in a certain area. Really, I think in old I think an old navy. Forgive me, I worked there longer ago than some of the people listening to this podcast. But I think it was come on the floor. There's you have come on the floor. Come on the floor in somebody right, right, Because because you were talking into a microphone, you couldn't very well say shoplifter, Oh yeah, because the person will hear it

from the nearest. Other people around will hear it as well. Right, Okay, so you say come on the floor, right, So I will tell you this was three years before I started at to see one d the Morning Show, and I'm I've always been the way I am. I'll explain what that means in a minute. And so when you have if you could just turn down, if you could turn turn down for what your microphone just a little bit, keep going about that much better? Okay? So we not better?

A little bit, a little bit more, a little bit, a little bit more, a little bit more. It's like ten ft away now, no, not not, don't move away from it. Turn the actual volume button down the volume nob oh, let me get to there is non scary. You know there's that. Yes, this microphone comes with on and off. It's you listen, you told me. I know it's revisionist history. You tell everyone what you told me to buy. You said, your exact words are my other

co host share uses the blue snowball. You should get that. So I went to the store and I got a blue snowball. And what have you done since I got it? All you do is complain about it because you need to buy the higher model. The problem with her is in the difference between the you guys, which I'm realizing now is she's hot. It wasn't gonna go there uh. She she actually she doesn't speak the way you speak. You yell, you're you're from Brooklyn. She's not, and she's

she is more. She is you're from and she's not. She actually sounds more. She has these beautiful, sweet scary I don't think the guy should be that way. So the snowball microphone is perfect for her. We realized you swallow it. But this, okay, on too, continuing back to your story. We realized you swallow it. Let's let's be honest here. Let's let's go back to what you were just saying. Okay, so about the headset, right, So, people would talk on the headset, They were like, I don't know.

At any given time, fifteen people would be would be given headsets because we, like, I don't know, we had maybe like seventy people working at one time, but only the managers and the supervisors and then the people one in each department would have the headset. Right. Well, I

couldn't help but make jokes when anyone said anything. So people would say something like, oh, I need a large a pair of jeans, and I was like, you certainly do like like that, So everyone would laugh except the general manager Gina she'd be like, you know, you can't, um, we need to remain professional on the headsets. I'm like, oh yeah, absolutely absolutely, And then as soon as I go back out on the floor, I would make commentary or make jokes. That's who That's why I am doing

stand up. Well I was so when I got the job at Old Navy was I was also I just started in a sketch improv group, so my mind was always racing with material as it is now. And so I mean, it's Old Navy. We would work like twelve hour days during the holiday season, and so I would like say things funny into the headset. What about like a hot chickst You know, I was walking by, like did you know who I was? What are the people screaming things into the microphone? Do they have codes for

that like oh my god, look at her? Um no, no, they would well, they wouldn't have codes, but they would say things like, um wow, it's uh it's really getting interesting in uh in in such and such section, See I knew there was some kind of situation interesting. What about if somebody took a ship in the fitting room and left. There's no code for that? That's brown? Is that code brown. That's code brown. Yeah, no, there was no code for that. Nobody ever left the present for

you guys. Any stories you ever worked at that? Oh yeah, I will tell you that the richer, the more affluent

the mall. And I think I must have talked about this at this point, bigger right, if there is and I know I've talked about this, If there's a Nieman Marcus or Burgdolf Goodman's in your mall, most likely there's a an elitist level of people that are so used to people cleaning up after them, having a nanny or a servant or you know, a cleaning person, that they think the world is there to clean up after them.

And again, that doesn't mean all rich people. I'm saying that malls that caters, I could see that, malls that have valet parking. I've worked in enough malls in my life to know the difference. They tend to have more people who leave let their kids throw food and dirty diapers in the understood because they used to servants cleaning up after them. They used to the right to having people to take care of that, so they don't have

to deal with it now. On the on the flip side, very very poor people also do that because they feel like it would be nice if somebody cleaned up after me exactly. So then like you know what, I don't have that in my real life. So I'm gonna come here, destroy things, leave all the clothes uh literally in a in a crumpled ball and in the corner, and you guys can go figure it out. Again, that is not all poor people. No, I'm just telling you that it

seems to be there. There's there's a there's an arrogance so that when you when you see the rich people, they walk out like I'm going to leave that there, whereas people who aren't rich, who do that, leave it like this place. Yea, yeah right people. However, I was going to say, shoplifters have no Look if you have a misconser, if you have a misconception that you think you know what a shoplifter looks like, Oh they look I know, a sketchy perton. No, No, shoplifters look like everybody.

So we caught rich people stealing, poor people stealing, Uh, disheveled people, well dressed people. There's no look. It's the way they act and it's it's it's the way that they look around, and it's the way that they have a shopping bag lined with duct tape and then another shopping bag inside the shopping bag. So the duct tape lines the bag and it helps the sensors not go off. That's that's what you need to know. You know, you

sound like like you've invented this trick. No the test store for this kind of No, But I I've done a lot of people, got a lot of people stoplifting back in the day. That's it. You know, you bring up people assisting and people cleaning up after you. Um, I have to tell you something and I kind of need your advice on this and maybe the slices as well. I'm embarrassed to say it, but I'm gonna tell you anyway because I tell you about my life. So I do. I do have someone who comes in once every two

weeks and cleans my apartment. Um, it's more of a hey, the shower tiles and dusting the floor and things like of that nature. So I have somebody who comes in once every once every two weeks on a Friday. And by the way, this is she's been with me now for a good fifteen years. I talked about this on an Earth episode where you didn't know her last name. I know her last name now, yes, episodes ago you didn't. I love her. I love her to death. She's great. We've you know. I I make sure that she's well

taken care of. She's never asked for a raise, but I've given her raises over the years. I've actually, yeah, I I you know, I I take hair of her on every Live. Now here's here's the problem. She's become accustomed to certain things in my apartment where when I would leave, you know, whenever I have like stuff too thrown away. My jewelry. Wow, what did you just say? My wallet? My jewelry. Now I'm kidding, Okay, it's it's jewelry. It's not jewelry jewelry. No, it's jewelry. I know it's

I know comes first, I know how it's spelled. Its jewelry, jewelry, but jewelry jewelry, I get it. Or jewelry jeweler, but jeweler. But the problem is the problem is the problem is a jeweler. You're you're from Brooklyn Brody. You should, I know, But I don't say jewelry. You should have the same.

But you should be saying that improperly the way I say it, because you're from where I'm from, and you know that when we're you know that when we're from Brooklyn, our Brooklyn roots come out and we say Brooklyn words, Brooklyn ways, and jewelrr is the way certain Brooklyn people say it. Whether it's right or not. Well, it's not right. So I'm just let you know because the people are listening right now are not most people in the Diamond with the most most people in the Diamond district are Jews.

So it's jeweler you learn, wow, but they do. There's nothing wrong with that. They have good quality. What does what does jewelers have to do with you saying it wrong? And what who says? So you're saying it's a tusill word as jewelry or is it jewelry or either it's either way, but it's not jeweler re it's not. It should be, but it isn't. Okay, But we agree to this degree and you my story. You agree you're wrong, go on, go on. So so I've come to trust

to tell it. But she the thing that you have to understand is that when whenever I have things that need to be thrown away, like garbage and boxes and stuff. Uh, I will leave things right in a certain area of my between my kitchen and my hallway. It's a small area, okay, So she knows that anything in that area in a

pile gets thrown away. Oh. So last week it was a Saturday afternoon, it was a day after she showed up, and I'm looking around for my sneakers, the certain pair of sneakers, and I'm like, not the gary V the gary vs. It gets worse during these COVID times. I have been coming into my apartment and the first thing I do is kick off my shoes, so I don't track any potential COVID through my apartment. So I and end.

I haven't had her come in in several months. This is this is her first time she's been back, but over the course of the years, she's conditioned to knowing

everything between my everything in that little area gets thrown away. Well, I had not one, but four pairs of sneakers in that area that I had used kicked off because I didn't Again, I didn't want to track it through my house, So I I had sneakers and flip flops in an area of my apartment that I never have had before BC, before COVID, because you know, I usually to my usually

go to my bedroom. I'm getting anxiety, right. So it was a Saturday afternoon, and I'm like, we're these four pairs of shoes and I'm looking, and I'm looking because I have a shoe thing behind my closet, and I'm like, oh my god, the slots are empty. I'm like, they're gone. I'm like, oh no, oh no, oh no. So I call her up and she tells, me, oh my god, I thought they were garbage. You put them in the area you leave garbage. I threw them away. She threw

away three pairs of sneakers. One of them were my new Ultra Boosts that I got that more than two months ago. A pair of Ratti sneakers which I don't give a shit about, my Gary Vs, which I had gotten for free, but still I loved those, and my and and and a pair of flip flops which Robin got me for Christmas. Okay, so hold on, hold on. My heart is palpitating, and and and she goes, oh my god, she goes, you had you had a box. I had left an empty box on top of them,

because that was that was garbage the box. So she goes, I put everything in the box, and I put it beside the garbage shoot. She didn't throw them down the garbage shoot. Now, I live in a high rise building where you have. Once it goes down that fucking shoot, it goes into this giant dumpster at the bottom, and you're done. But she claims she didn't. But she put him out there at Friday morning, at like nine am.

It is now Saturday afternoon. And then then I called down frantically to the front desk and spoke to the guy who does ten tends to the garbage. And he said to me, I gotta be honest. I do not remember even on your floor, he says, I would have noticed a box of sneakers. Now I'm thinking I better not be seeing him wearing my sneaking. Now he's he's also a great guy too, so he wouldn't do that to me. He would not suck me like that. So now I'm sitting here thinking, Brodie, oh, what do I do?

So I called her back and I said, Estella, I said they are gone. I said, I said that son's wearing your sneakers. By the way, Yeah you think so? Yeah, I think her son who has a size has a son your size twelves. She was so apologetic, she was so scared. She apologized to me and she said that she would pay for them, and I said, no, don't worry about it. Don't worry. It's fine. And because I don't want to, I don't want to do that to her. So so she does know me anything. I'm uh, I

gotta but but what would Brody do? I'm thinking because these now I have, if I was to replace anything, it's gonna have to be the Ultra Boost because those were my favorite fucking sneakers. I only had the for two months and they were brand new, and I was like, oh my god, my sneakers are gone. So so there you have it, David. I don't know where they were gone. They're gone, man, never recovered. They searched high and low.

The only what we think could have happened is somebody saw them between Friday morning and Saturday afternoon and saw them in the garbage room and be like, huh, nice sneakers, And okay, did you did you put a sign up in the garbage room? No, how would you know that to do that. She threw everything in a box, and she's like, no, you should put a sign up in the garbage room. If somebody in the garbage room saw your sneakers, then they'll see the sign that says, hey,

I'm paying a reward. I really want my sneakers back. Offer someone a hundred bucks, you'll get you sneakers back. They're worth a lot more than a hundred bucks. Do you think that? I mean, would you make her pay? Would I make her pay? No, I wouldn't leave my Okay, let me let me. Let me tell you something. And I've said this before, so and again I'm not embarrassed to say it. Um, my wife and I both work um full time and we have three kids, and once a month we have a woman come in the house

and help in clean house. And in fact she has to. I did to have a partner, so the two of them come uh and and take care of the house for us one day a month. As a president of my wife, who works very hard, we decided that it was hard to keep up with the house, so we have someone as well, and um, we pre clean the house. So she comes on usually on a Wednesday, so Tuesday and my wife will say hey, she's coming tomorrow before she gets here, because I don't want her to do

a whole lot. You know, does the basics, like, for instance, I just bought new new mats from my bathroom. I know she always like, we'll throw them in the washing machine, but they're brand new. I just opened the box and put them on the floor Tuesday. So I picked them up off the floor and put him in the closet. Because if I if I leave her a list of things not to do, she might do them right by accident. We we put away all the stuff we don't want

thrown out. We don't have a pile, because that's that's your first mistake is saying anything in this pile throw out. Should have a box and then say anything in the box throwout. We'll throw your own damn stuff out or throw in the garbage pail. The thing, the fact that your sneakers were laying there is not very My question is why wouldn't she at that point say see them and be like, these are all pretty brand new. This is unlike him. I'm gonna text him and and text

me first, is this really garbage? I mean, how how, how how extravagant? Does she and boogie, does she think I am that I'm throwing out fucking brand new sneakers? Like he listens to the podcast and she sees your apartment, You've already answered your own question. Bullshit, bullshit. You have a couch in your house that's I would say, fifteen year old. It looks like nobody ever sat on it. Does this woman think I'm made of money that I would be throwing out sneakers and that good of a

good condition. They were all in great condition except for the one ratty pair. Okay, I just got the last year. Let me tell you something, if it was my house, anyone who walks into my house would see sneakers from fifteen years ago, and no not to throw them out. If your sneakers have dirt on the bottom, people might assume that you should throw the fuck you. Okay, listen, but you know I can't falter because we've established that

that's the area. And I funked up. I I was just putting my sneakers there because that's where I put them during these COVID times. Okay, so it's your fault, um, but it's her fault. Well, it's her fault because she didn't text me and be like, are you sure one way? You know, when you shut down your computer, you know, doesn't it doesn't it come out? Would have saw you know? It's a pop up It says you really want to quit? Are you sure you want to delete your hard drive?

Are you sure you want to erase this content? Everything? There's always like a warning pop up on everything in life, right, there's always have one click. It's not a one click and done. It's always two clicks to get to delete ship because then it's gone. So that that pop up should have been her texting me and be like, are you sure you wanted to throw away these sneakers? Okay, we're the sneakers in a pile, like where every day you kick them off, you put them in a pile?

Or were they sporadically thrown in a general area like flip this one off, flip that one off. The next day you flip this one over, you flip that one over. There? Were they all separated or did you kick them all into a pile? They were all separated? Oh that's doubly band, I know, because it doesn't look like garbage. It looks like I just like kick my sneakers off. The thing is, in all the fifteen years I've been with her, she knows that I don't do that. That is not a

normal behavior. I never I've never left my sneakers at the front of my house. She knows for years that I've set the precedent that they've always been in. My sneakers are strewn across my bedroom floor. That's where my sneakers left, right, see my my our woman knows that my kids throw things everywhere. So I would say seventy of her job when she comes in the house just to organize the sneakers by the front door, pick up all the blankets in the living room, pick up all

the straight in this make a pile. So she's really great at making piles and like organized. But you know, I'm working from home now, So in my in my den, which is like the little room off the kitchen down the stairs. Um, I've got a couch, a coffee table, a piece of furniture with like a fake fireplace, and the TV on the wall. It's it's minimalistic, but that's where I work. So I sit on the couch, my laptops on the coffee table and I stare at the TV.

So the coffee table has gone from empty coffee table, two notes for the show, pens and scissors, packing supplies underneath, on the shelf for eBay, because that's where I do all my eBay selling, right, and then I have like some business cards, some different things that whatever has accumulated on the desk. I'm not gonna go down the whole list, but there it's all sectioned, like I know where everything

is right right. My wife will say to her, Hey, don't clean this kid's room because they're working on cleaning or they're they're laying out all their clothes and they're redoing their closets. Right, And I'll say, like, oh, do me a favor, don't clean this right. Oh yeah, I've a little sticky if you know what I'm saying. So I leave him the little note on my pillow be like just changed the seat. Don't change them this time.

I just were working from home in March. She's been to the house with a mask before you ask, three times. The first time she she messed up my table, right, I had my glass there where I drink out of because I get off on the show. I get off the show at ten and she comes to eleven. So we've been working on the show till eleven for the past two months. So I get off the show at eleven and then she's at the door. So I leave my glass there sometimes and I go take a nap,

so I tell her. So the first time she went down, she touched the table, touched my glass, she moved everything around. So I said to her. The next time she came, Hey, do me a favorite. Don't just stay with from that table. That's my mess. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about the mess over here. I got no problem, no problem, okay. So the second time, no problem. Third time, which was Wednesday, a couple days ago, she reorganized the whole desk. She

threw out stuff that she thought was good. Boy. You know, I had like a receipt from home Depot I needed desperately. That's gone. So it's not a perfect it's not a perfect world, but I want to keep in mind I love this woman. I took a nap Wednesday, and after the after my nap, I heard they were still in

the house. It was like one o'clock. I did my ten thirty two one o'clock nap I jumped in the shower because they had already done the bathroom spotless, put the mats back down that a brand new took a shower, came out of the shower. I got, you know, I got dressed in the bathroom, came out of the bathroom through my mask on, and I'm coming down because they're in the house, and I'm coming down the steps I have.

I think it's seven steps from my bedroom level to the the bottom of the steps, which is my foyer coming into the house, which is tiles. It's a pattern tile area that goes left to right. As you're coming down the steps, and I have my iPad in my left hand. Okay, y as I go down the step, No, yeah, my iPad was in my hand. I get to the bottom step there in the kitchen, which is I don't know, about twenty ft to the right of the bottom of

the staircase. Okay, the floor was wet. I immediately one ft slip go flying in the air, and I can't use my left hand to break my fall because the iPad, and I reached back with my right hand and I jam my arm into the staircase and so I landed on the second step and then I go and then I fall, but first boom boom down to the Now both women in the kitchen turn because I know they're in there. I looked to them as I was falling.

They turned as I went right. They see me fall, they go all no, and they start running to help me. And all I can see was that they weren't Their masks were down by their chins, and so I put your mask on. That's all you cared about, That's all I was like, I don't. I don't want to, you know, because I'm um. You know, I try very hard to make sure everyone is safe around me, unto even while you're falling. So right, So she's like, I'm so sorry I didn't hear you the flows wet. I said, I

know the flows wet. I wasn't mad at her. But here's the thing, this is not a joke. Now, I think I may have ripped my right pectoral muscle. She owes you a new pectoral muscle, Yes, she does. I can't lift my arm above my head, I can't reach back without severe pain. Um, and it's been since Wednesday. I can't sleep on my right side, and so I think I may have done some severe damage, and so I'm I'm googling, like what to do? How to you

know what the treatment is? Um, I can't go for physical therapy because I don't want my normal guy, how do you get well? I don't want free dessert, the same way you don't want her to pay for you a sneaker. It's not her. I have known that she mopped the flow. I'm not upset with her. I was really telling the story number one to tell you well, I'm in a lot of pain, and too that I was yelling, what's your bass? God? I didn't say it

like that. I was like, okay, put yours. Okay, I'm all right, we have to we have to grab a first break here, all right, and we'll come back with We will tell you the only thing that hold on the only thing that makes my arm feel better, it's drinking fantastic. No, I can't do that. No is my fantastic in ground pool. We can go to commercial O. You fuck youst with and scary. You really know how to rub it in joke? Yeah yeah, Joe, but I

can't rub one out. It's all right. So see, I set you up for travel, right, I set you up for that joke you did because I knew the outcome. I knew you were gonna say, rubbing rub one out. There's a recall. See what we did there, We did that on purpose. Callback callback recall. Um, go on to the talk about the reviews we get on Apple iTunes. What about them? Have you take? You know, I've stopped

looking because so Sapio were writing some stupid things. A couple of people, right, So we have so we have a five star rating. But that's that's that's because it's really like four point eight nine, four point nine five, and they round it up right, because there are some people who give negative reviews. Now, I like to focus on the positives. So let me look at a couple just as some of the headlines free dessert rants, hilarious antics, smash lid jugs, smash h l y d b jugs.

I'll be all honest. It took me a while to give this podcast a chance, which is why I'm only on episode fifty two. This from a year ago. This from a year ago. Um, but that loves the podcast. Warning, this show is addictive, phenomenal podcast, awesome podcasts. All five stars? Are people been? Have people been rating it? Recently, or we've fallen off with the review of the is it from a year ago? Best comedy podcast, funniest podcast, great podcast.

Brody and Scary are the best if you're if you're new to this podcast, we haven't said it in a while. Please feel free to go board a welcome start from zero after this episode and uh you know that, listen in order, but go to Apple iTunes and and leave us a nice review or just a review like Brody's about to read. Well, um, because there's three bad ones that all came in. Uh, it looks like from April to May. It looks like we had we were in a rut there or was it people's minds were in

a routcastaring miserable moods. Well, this person's iTunes name is you know how we we said f you. Okay, I'm not gonna say after these people, but you can decide how you feel. A Michelle loves Ronnie. Now I'm assuming this is a coincidence, but the person wrote I loved Greg, Ronnie and Scary. They spelled your names scary and didn't capitalize it. By the way, they capitalized Greg and Ronnie but not scary. How does that makes you feel. Yeah,

they wrote, Yeah, this podcast isn't funny. All right, Wait a second, Okay, So so what they're referring to is the previous podcast I was a part of, the off air show. Is it's here on this same feed that we're using for Brooklyn Boys. So what she's trying to say is she liked the off fair show that better than the Brooklyn Boys podcast, which means she doesn't like me. But that's that's fine. Um, Twiggy is that Twiggy is here? Yeah? You can. How about how many stars that you give it?

And by the way, please don't leave negative reviews because I'm not going to read anymore for another year and a half. By the way, don't don't leave negative reviews, so I'll read your don't do that. How many stars did did Michelle leave us? One? Because that's what you're killing me. Uh, this person wrote, I consider myself a phantom supporter. I have been listening since the off Air

Show following from the beginning. I don't ever post reviews or anything of the sort, but listening to episode one twenty seven just disappointed me. The majority of episodes are great, Okay, we like that you have a few episodes that are not up to par. This one was disappointing for me. What did we discuss an episode? Um, you know what, I took a screenshot. There is more to the to the post. I think this was the one about Wayfair.

They didn't like that I that I, um, I got money at a Wayfair and that I you know right? And you sold the ship so you made money off of them. And by the way, I didn't sell the ship. No, no, I didn't sell the ship. They gave me. They gave me a credit right well, and they took money off the chair because by the way, um, the chair I ordered in March. Yeah, right, you guys heard the episode. You listen in order. There is an update which I'll

give you as long as Twiggy is here. Doesn't get as well, because I will give you the much I'll give you the much shorter update either today or the next one because there is no final update yet. Okay, so while we wait to the final update, I'll just so continue on with what Twiggies review is no, because I this is a screenshot, I can again Twiggy gave us one star and then nail Tech Girl. Nail Tech Girl obviously is upset because they can't work right now

because of COVID nineteen. Nail Tech Girl um is not a fan of mine. One star. I hate that Brodie always thinks he's right frowny face. Well I hate that too, but I put up with you. Okay, it's scary all the way. He's the best, but it's time to move on from this podcast, peace sign. Brodie thinks he's funny, which he's not. Capital not always wants free things. Okay, well that's of course we all do. But continue and

oh here it is. I'm sorry. Here's all you need to know about nail Tech Girl after and sorry, I want to say Twiggy is here was not complaining about Wayfair. I've confused the two reviews this person is. But after the Wayfarer lower case w A y f a r e er Wayfarer episode, it made me look at it look it made me. It made him look even worse.

S m h right, well that's come on, so she So, nail Tech Girl is upset that accompany each that that my wife paid hundreds and hundreds of dollars for an expensive chair that we saved up for because my girl, my daughter wanted it. For her fifteenth birthday. Was this chair. The fact that they screwed me it parts were missing, they lied to me about delivery, all the things you guys heard. That makes me a bad person. It's not that,

It's not that, it's it's it's you did. You did the we good grape soda reach uh to them pretty much? You pretty much screwed them out of the money. You you took the tables that were turned, and you took an advantage of the situation. Are you secretly not? Damnit? You found me. You caught me, Brodie, I am nail tech girl. I'm not, but I'm just I could see what I could in a sense what because I was a little upset. I'm like, you're taking advantage of company

and you're selling their ship. Now you've got two chairs, you're moving one, and you're making money off the hold on. I never ever said I was going to sell one of the chairs. I said I was going to give the chair that doesn't have a base to my other daughter and maybe order the part for it. So it's one thing to get free dessert, it's another to take the entire pastry shop. And that's what you did. Go back and listen to the episode I will. It makes

me angry. They didn't want the chair shipped back. They wanted me to take it apart and ship it in in in in multiple boxes. Understood that that's not my problem. Here's the problem. I come, I come. This is where I have to disagree with Nail Teck girl. These are the things that you just live with, and these are things that make us. Somethings make us happy, somethings make us sad. You disagree, you agree with certain things, you don't abandon us like that. And I think that's if

you don't do us. You don't listen, You don't listen to a hundred and thirty episodes and and and appreciate and enjoy all my other stories. And then when one story doesn't sit right down the exact lane that you want, then all of a sudden, it's like, you know, those people that listen to our show. Now, look, we broadcast to every type of person, okay, and we'll do phone taps with Indian accents and Irish accents and Asian accents

and all kinds of accents. And by the way, I am from the school that doing an accent is not an offensive thing, as long as you don't use that accent to make offensive stereotypes. Okay, So how do you compare if I if I do a British accent or Australian, right, Okay, regardless of what I just did and it was more Australian or whatever. Um, But if I do Harry Potter,

I'm not making fun of British people, right. If I do Lusian accent, right, I do Laussian accent, I'm not making fun of Russians, right, But as soon as I do an Indian accent, someone will go, oh, you're making fun of Itian people. You're racist. No, I'm not. I'm doing an accent like any other nationality accent if I do a of an accent or or whatever else. But but certain people will will listen to the Morning Show for fifteen years, right, But then you do a Hungarian

accent and they're Hungarian. Now they're offended. Oh my god, I can't believe you're insulting Hungarians. It's part of the disposable science society we live in where everything was just fine. Well to me, that means you weren't a fan to

begin with. There's a person on my Instagram, right, now that I'm fighting with that pretty much wrote off twenty years of listening because I posted a picture of me standing outside supporting local local restaurants in Jersey City, and I wasn't wearing a mask for the picture, even though it was in my back pocket. I followed all the rules before and after. You could go to the post a Scary Jones and see what I'm talking about. Read

the caption before you comment. And this one person is going back and forth and then tells me after going back and forth with me, he's like, like daniel Ones, his name is from California, whoever he is. He's like, you know what, I gotta be honest. I like Danielle and I like Elvis. I ever liked you? Like great? Why the fund do you follow me on Instagram? Brad un followed, I don't need you in my life. I

don't need toxic. So the thing is he's willing to to listen and love all these years until he disagrees with one thing that I say or post, and now I'm disposable and you just throw me away. But that's how life is. Now. That's the that's it's the cancel culture, you know, That's what it is. It's a real thing. If you google cancel culture, not people know what cancel culture. Not. A lot of our listeners know that Google cancel culture, and you'll see a bunch of articles pop up up

about it. It's fascinating and it's a problem every every night on social media as someone else is canceled or the party's over subscribe. Right. Oh, Jimmy Fallon is canceled because twenty years ago on Saturday Night Live, he wore a black face and dressed up like Chris Rock his friend. Um, I'm not giving an opinion on that. I'm just telling the story. And that was like Jimmy Founds canceler. J Founce canceled. So is the nicest human being on the planet. I'm sure he c I'm sure that night he was

in tears that people would be angry at him. He's the nicest guy. Apologize however, but the point is he's canceled, right, way Fharaoh story Yeah, way fairer. You know what if you don't know what, it's way fair, I'm canceling you all right, you're canceled. Um, It's a purity test, right, everyone has a purity test, Like, oh, I can't vote for that person because they did one thing I don't agree with. I agree with eighty nine, but I don't like their lord there. I don't like the way they

handle parking meters. Yeah. I agree with them on war. I agree with them on on gay rights. But boy, that parking meter thing they do, they're dead to me. I'm not I'm not voting. I'm not voting for that guy, even though I hate the other guy. I can't vote for this guy because he doesn't like clouds. I read somewhere that in two thousand and one he said he didn't like clouds. I love clouds. I can't vote him. Yeah, but the other guy is a disaster. Yeah, but this

guy doesn't like clouds. So I'm gonna stay home and I Liketion day. Well, then you can end up with the disaster. I don't care. I can't vote for a guy doesn't like clouds. So, yeah, that's the world we live in. Doesn't like my Wayfarer story. I'm sure she likes all the other stories. Well maybe listen, that's who I am. Like I said, don't buy the book if I ever get around to finishing it. Um, And I'm

sorry I lost you. But as far as your picture online, um, I know you corrected the caption because the minute I saw that picture of you in the middle of the street, I said, okay, he's not wearing a mask. And the person to the to your right, but in the picture to the left is not wearing a mask. Someone's gonna call him out. Now. What you originally wrote on your post was following all the rules stand safe. Well, the point of the post was that, hey, you know some

local businesses just reopened. Nobody has questioned that you should. Absolutely, but after people attack you, you change the caption to my mask is in my back pocket. I took it off just for the picture and I put it right back on, which had you put originally, you probably would have gotten less grief. The other problem with Instagram but they don't read. I know people we put up a picture about I Art Radio and Sirius XM and it said you can listen live on the app, and people

are like, can you listen live? So I get it. The other problem with Instagram is the more button, right, because anything after more nobody reads. So your first line needs to be mask is in my pocket? Because yeah, because anything below the fold they just see. Oh I'm out at restaurants having a good time. More They're like, oh this funk is it wearing a mask? They don't hit the more button. So look, I've given you ship. Um,

where's my phone? I wanted to read something that somebody uh sent me in a d M because people worry about you, you know they do. So where where is it? Hold on? Hold on? Want um? I don't want to get into a mask versus non conversation. There are people listening to this right now that I don't want to get. I don't want to get. Don't get you, get me upset. I'm gonna get you upset. But this person, Jake Jeff Jeff Skier, he'd sent me a d M. My cousin Sky, No, no, no, Scot.

Is that how cousins work? Scary? Their names are slightly different. Ahead people realize that if your name is brod Sky, I'll see you at the family reunion. Right continue. So this was based on the picture you posted last weekend where you were at a table with eight people, and they wrote, I got really concerned when I saw a scary dining table with tons of dudes. Hashtag virus alert. See they're worried about you. That's awfully nice. They actually care.

But do they actually care or they just want to start the pot? What do they really want to do? You know what? I think we listen, we're not talking about this yere because this is gonna get me angry. So we're gonna get that. I want to, I would like to. I would like to rip somebody a little bit about a social media post. Um. I will take your aggressions. No, I will admit to you again that I was. I was looking on TikTok for political stuff

and for news. But in the four you section you sometimes get like, oh click this, click this, and I got into am you know you go down the rabbit hole is notorious for this. Okay, so I'm gonna I'm not gonna give out the person's name, but it's a somehow I got the Please don't give me shit. I'm just at this. I went down a rabbit hole. There is a very attractive girl, I want to say, your twenties and it's it's a split shot. On the left side it's called well, it's not a video, it's just

a picture. And on the left side it's hard in a in a bikini and and um in her bathroom, and on the right side, it's hard in a bikini in her bathroom, the same position, different bikini. On the left side, it says she's a hundred and twelve pounds, on the right side a hundred twenty four pounds, now hundred twelve fo Right on the top, she wrote, your worth isn't defined by a number, your health isn't defined

by a scale. Also, why the scale ain't shit? Okay, she's trying to say, I gain weight and I still look fantastic. But here's my problem. She went from being fairly thin and attractive to a smidge more than fairly thin and attractive, and she's playing this that weight is scale doesn't mean anything. I still look fantastic at But here's the thing. If you were one ninety at that height,

you wouldn't be posting a picture in your bikini. The scale would mean ship number, the number wouldn't be important, and your health would be defined by the scale. So I feel like, oh, it's real cocky and I'm set and the look I've I'm somebody who's not thin, So I'm I'm okay to say this. Don't play the thin card again, to me, but like, look at me, I'm thin, and look at me, I'm only like ten pounds to heavier than thin. I'm still thin. Numbers don't mean anything.

You're in the range of hot, like and I'm not saying anyone weighs more than it's not hot. I'm saying in this picture, this particular girl is attractive at both of those weights. So to play it, like, look at me, I'm so proud of both of my weights, and the scale doesn't mean anything. I get it. That makes her feel good. And I'm not looking to offend anybody. I just feel like had she gained fifty pounds, she wouldn't be making that post. Do you agree? Like you and

I fluctuate? You and I fluctuate pounds over the course of a year. Right when I'm down twenty pounds and I'm up forty or thirty that twenty five, I fluctuate twenty pounds. When I'm up twenty five, I don't go, well, look at me, I still look great. What is this? I feel like I better lose this twenty five pounds. Well, she's feeling. She was feeling herself in that moment, So

what are you gonna do? Whatever? Yeah, I just feel like it's I don't know, is that a bad exam pople to give people like, don't don't care what you weigh, because look at me, I look great. She's in, she's in two low ranges, she's in. I don't know. I just found I saw a screenshot at it. I'm going to delete it now because I don't need to look at them. Okay, delete, thats go. That's just something I wanted to bring up. Um, did you look at the

picture of City Field? I say I did. I'm gonna post this on my Instagram if I remember, hopefully you'll see it. City Field is the baseball stadium where the Mets play, and it was built and opened in two thousand nine. It was probably under construction from two thousand eight, roughly, no, two thousand's seven, Yeah, for a couple of years. And during construction, and when the stadium first opened, the outfield wall was black, which I hated, scary hated, and three

years later they made it blue. Okay. So I'm looking at an aerial shot that somebody posted on eBay, and it's a picture of the old stadium, SHA Stadium in the new stadium, and they're both there and you can see that the new stadium is still under instruction. There's no seats in the stadium. And I'm looking at the wall in the picture, which again is an aerial so it's taken from a blimp or a plane, and you

can see the wall is blue. Now I know the wall wasn't blue during construction, so I screenshot at it and I zoomed in all the way and it looks like somebody took a computer photo program and painted the wall blue. You know, I'm talking about scary and in center field, the wall, at least the blue stripe that

looks like a wall goes into the stands. It's it's poorly drawn, and it looks like it goes on top of where the seats are, okay, and it's all jaggedy, So it looks like somebody just changed the color so that you wouldn't think, like, if you didn't know that the walls used to be black, you'll go, oh, they're blue. This is a great picture. So I was thinking about it's a poster. I would maybe order. It's a really

cool poster. So I emailed the guy on eBay and I said, hey, man, I got a question about this picture. It looks like the picture you posted is photos shopped to make the wall look blue. Is the original poster black? Because this looks terrible, right, So he writes back, maybe you should open your fucking eyes before your fucking mouth and and know that the walls used to be blue and they changed them to black, and they changed them

back to blue. The only problem with that is because I saw the picture you're talking about, is it looks like it was painted on after the fact, like photo shopped or something. And the and the way the wall is it's going into center field. We discussed this off the air, right that we that it looks like it doesn't the line isn't curved the way the wall would curve.

It kind of goes straight. You'll see that. It's as a visual Brodie, I don't know if we should know and whether where the outfield wall ends about in the picture a quarter inch away there's a blue dot. There's a blue dot sitting there like when they were drawing the wall. They they like they touched somebody. It's terrible, all right, So then you know what it's bogus? Then well it's bogus. The point is this guy first, So so so I wrote back. I said, first of well, don't

tell me about the city field. I'm friends with the team. I was there when they were building it. I was there before it opened. I know the walls were black. This picture is doctored. So but he was. The point was he was nasty. That's the that's the way people are now. Their first reaction is I disagree with you. Fuck you die that point you canceled. Fuck you You should open your wy Hey, man, if you open your eyes, you'll see what I'm talking about. Can't we have a

fucking dialogue about it? Why can't we? You know why we Why do we have to point the accusatory finger. That's right. I disagree with you. I hope you die. You're an awful person. I said something on Instagram. UM, oh you know what. You know the guy from Barstool Sports. We played the clip of him, Yes, Dave Portnoy. You know he does a pizza review thing. Of course, that's the that's how I know him best. Okay, so one yes, so one of our listeners and I apologize. I'll try

to compet the name. While we're talking. One of our listeners sent me a d M and it said m. Yeah, your buddy Portnoy was reviewing the Brooklyn Boys Pizza place. But in the in the video, he comes out of the pizza place and he said, and there's a sign in the window on this video masks a mandatory. He comes out of the pizza place and he's like, he's

fucking mask whence this chicken? And I'm out wearing a mask? Right, And then he goes on to talk about the Brooklyn Boys Pizza, the Brooklyn Boys Pizza in Louisiana, Florida, or book book of Raton Boka Raton in Florida, in Florida. Okay, So so they're in Boka Raton, the Brooklyn Boys Pizza.

He reviewed that in his latest review. A few people actually called my attention to that right right, and so um people were So I made a comment like, so somebody made a comment about the mask thing, and I think I wrote something like I agree he should have his mask on because the sign says mask mandatory, and here's being a dick about it. And again, I don't want to get into whole mass conversation, but the hate

that I got for agreeing with this person, I forget it. Uh. Somehow I had me, fuck me and my fascist, rioting, looting friends. I'm like, how did it turn into that? It turned into like such vitriol, such hate, And it was because I agreed with the guy who says, hey, man, listen, the mass conversation is one of many hot buttons going on right now, and draversation. I don't want to have that conversation. By the way, speaking of Dave portnoy Um today, I saw just a matter of hours ago he was

in Morristown, New Jersey doing a review. Somebody posted on their instat story, Oh my god, l President Day stool President Day is here right now and they're showing him like like they're filming him from the street. They actually have their camera crew on site. And he just came out of a pizzeria right now in the More town of Jersey. I'm kind of curious to know which place he was reviewing, but he was. That's not that far from where we live. Um, okay, So Peter may Is

is the person who sent us the video. Yeah, thank you, Peter. We have to take a breakast. Thank Peter for for causing me. So, I mean, he's causing no because he looped me into this world of venom on this page. Now, I have no one to blame but myself. But I had a block a few people. That's all I'm saying. Please Commercial jump in your fucking pool. And Brodie, I'm sick of biting Brody. Can we have something positives come out of today? Um? Well, we do this. We're just

doing a negative podcast. It's just negative, all right? Then I won't I won't tell you about the lobster roll problem. And I won't tell you about the problem. How about no problems problem. I want your opinion. I want your opinion, and I know your slices. I know that there's something in your life. You can tweet us. We'll read them next week. Where when you see somebody does something, you know right away they can't be your friend, right, Like

there's something about them. Where you you see somebody, you meet them like uh at a at an event or a dinner or a wedding or bar mitza, what do you think you could be friends with them? Then you learn something about them and you can't be friends with them? Right? There's always something. I'm not gonna list all of the things I don't like that I would never be friends with somebody. Um, but I'm in Target and uh, you know, uh, we got the pandemic going on, and there's a guy

in Target. I'm wearing my my Mets mask on my face. Of course I have a Mets mask. And I see a guy looks about my age. He's wearing a Mets shirt. He's wearing a Mets hat. No, I'm sorry. He had a Mets hat on and a rock shirt from from a from a band that I like, So I like that the shirt he's wearing, he's got a Mets hat on. I'm like, wow, you know what, I I bet this

guy and I can maybe have something in common. He kind of he looks like my my kind of guy, right, And then I noticed he's wearing flip flops, and I realized I could never be friends with a guy who wears flip flops to Target. Why it's summer. It's summer. It's it's fucking ninety degrees out in humid. It wasn't hot that day. This was a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't a hot day. Okay, he wasn't wearing shorts. He was just barefoot, wearing flip flops and Target, and

I it's just something about that. For me, I'm I'm I'm I'm judging him, not everybody. I felt like, I'm not. I'm not friends with flip flop guys. Now you're a flip flop guy. I love flip flops. In fact is if I've tried to wear Actually I wear them to work in the summertime. I love it super convenient. There's nobody if I wore them to work the other day. As a matter of fact, I I don't want to see your toes. And I don't mean you, I mean anybody don't want to see your feet. Yeah, but I

feel like that's too dressed. I think that to me, the flip flop is like the sleeveless tank top. But there's a rubber song between my two toes that you're not seeing all of my feet. The last thing I want to do is picture you and the word thong. So you don't like flip flops, But I couldn't be friends with this guy. I don't want to be like Mike. Let's go hang out and he shows up in my car with flip flops on. You are something else, man,

You are a piece of work. Are you telling me there's nothing that you could see somebody in a public store and go, yeah, I couldn't be friends of that guy. I'm sure they were something You've never seen a girl and go, oh, I could never date her because she's doing that. She like she chewing gum like a cow. Yeah she has. If she has painted on eyebrows, I can't. Oh, women and women women who like literally like paint on their eyebrows with eyeline eye eyeliner over the brow or

in placement of a brow to darken it. But right, so that's okay. So but you like the girls who have like their their lipstick outlined. I don't like lips. No, that's another. That's another you hate that, right? But who does that anymore? Do you? Is there anyone out there who lines their lipstick with liner like lip? Yes? A couple of months ago I saw a girl at Target, same Target, by the way, and she had the lipstick and she lined her lips like a tone color like

the liner. It was. It was brown and dark brown, dark brown liner and and and brown lipstick. Yes, oh my god, or like a hot pink and a pink Oh? Are you telling me that? Like if you don't be friends? If you if you heard a guy right with a brook On accent walking in in in CVS. Right, and then you heard and you you saw he was wearing a death metal shirt or uh some kind of like maybe anti religion shirt or something like that. You saw like it was a hate filthy shirt. You would go, oh,

I can't. I can't be friends with that guy, because I don't judge a book by its cover. There, David Brodie, that's crap. You're you're but you judge women, I don't. You just said you couldn't be friends. I couldn't date someone that way. You'd hang out with them? Yeah, why not? I'm not gonna bring it around though, Like I mean, that's embarrassing. You want to you when you show up somewhere, you want to be able to, like be able to.

You don't want to be embarrassed by your company. So when you bring a plus one, right, so I'm like, guy, ain't one, then then everyone's gonna be talking behind her back like that girl. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, which is why I don't want to go hang out at some place where we go to a wedding and my buddy Mike shows up wearing a tuxedo and flip flop. He's not going to be wearing different It's a different story. Brod don't know that. What if he's granola eating flip

flop guy? You don't know that? You are crazy? What if he what if he's a mustard on his hot dog? Guy, I can't be friends with him. I'm talking about I'm talking about dating somebody for their and and having him out being your buddies. I'm talking about a guy being your bud like. I don't discriminate. I'm all about it. I'm with every there's nothing, there's nothing a guy that you could see him in a store and go, I

can be friends of that guy. What if he had like long hair or a mullet, You're gonna be like, Oh, I can be friends with that guy. I've had mullet friends in the past, in the nineties. And then I would you go to would you go to a club on a Saturday? Would your buddy Mike with a mullet? Mullet Mike? I probably wouldn't. I probably thank you, thank you. So you do draw the line. You have a line, it's mullets, yeah, and your line is flip flops. He's not wearing flip flops to a club or a wedding

flip flops. You don't know that. You don't know that. I don't know that. I just what is it about a guy in flip flops that? Okay, I don't scare. I don't know you triggered David Brody. I'll tell you why. First of all, toes on a guy I'm not I don't want to look at them. I don't want to see your feet unless you're in my pool. And that's why I don't have the guys over to my pool. No offense, but that's why I didn't get your feet, your feet and never going to my pool. They're like

like hawk claws. You have the worst. You know, you have the worst toes? You do? I do not. My toes are sexy, Actually are all different lengths are That's how toes are, dude, And look at your feet lately. Your second toe is twice the size of your big toe. No it's not, Yes, it is. If I've got beautiful feet, if I do say so myself. Scary which toe is longer your big toe or the second toe? The second toe? Barely? Thank you, Barrell, thank you, But most people, most people's

second toes are bigger than their big toes. Okay, the other reason that's not true, I don't I don't want to walk around Target with a guy. Hey, Mike, let's go hang out at home depot and I have to hear flop flop flop flip flop when you walk. I don't want to hear it. By the way, if nail tech girl came back, I'm sure she's loving this. So judgmental. Now I'm judgmental a flip flop? You're just mental. You

forget about the judge part. Listen. I bet if Elvis did this topic on the air, people would call in and agree with me. And if not about a flip flops, there's something else where. You see somebody go I can have your friends with them? Could you please tweet us at David Brody, at Scary Jones at the Broolyn Boys hashtag I could never be friends with and then after the hashtag, I can let be friends with somebody who buys she bagels okay or Shi pizza? Thank you, thank

you ah. But those are different things. Don't aren't physical attributes? Those are people that have slops are in physical attributes. This person made a choice to go into you. Okay, by the way, how is this not complaining about something? Didn't we say something positive? I wanted an opinion, that's all I wanted an opinion. Very abrasive today, Jesus, what very abrasive? Very Maybe you should jump jump in the pool or something. I could jump and I'm gonna jump

in the pool. The heater is on, by the way, the heater is on. My friend, Uh, let me look through my notes here. I had Emily Rose at Emily Rose one to three. He's something positive at David Brody. Oh my god. I called Comcast and asked my money back for the regional sports fees since there's no sports airing and it worked. You're a genius. Thirty five dollars back just like that, Thanks Brooklyn. Boys. That's a positive.

So I want to intend. I want to Actually, I wasn't able to say this on the Big Show because it has a curse word. Oh no, no, but you guys are gonna love this. I think I think our slices would really love us. UM. So there's an Instagram account out there right that you guys all should follow. It's hilarious. Um. What we don't realize is that a lot of Instagram models and self proclaimed bloggers, they all

sometimes get paid to do posts. Right, we know that their influencers, but they also have to release these posts that all look perfect every one of their pictures. You know the account I'm talking about, right, the type of account that all has a theme to it. Everything is the same color scheme all their pictures that they post. Okay,

check this out. A lot of these paid bloggers and influencers, when they all get a lot of one company will come around like a I don't know, like a toothbrush or um uh, a freaking hairspray I don't know, or I don't know, whatever it is, or some sort of a shirt or a tennis bracelet, and they pay them. They pay a bunch of people to do posts to be creative. Well, we don't realize is they make these posts.

They actually all think that they're doing something original, right, So it's this is more of a visual But the point is they all copy off each other. They all bite off each other, every one of these people, and like I had the idea first, so so they'll be out like with a picture of clothes. They'll have the clothes on like a wash line in the middle of a field. But it turns out every girl who's advertising that shirt is doing the same thing. It's embarrassingly unoriginal.

And so there's a there's an Instagram account that said, I'm gonna coalate colate all of these accounts that are copying each other and put up one of those ten ten picture bursts and tag each model as they fucking bid off each other. Go to at shit bloggers post that's s h I t bloggers. Try to say it on the air. I couldn't do it. People DM to me said, what is it? So if you go at ship, I'm not getting money from them if they're knew they're a startup. No, but you did funk up when you

told this story on the air. By the way, okay, that's let's not confuse people. I want them to go to at ship bloggers posts saying you here out loud on this podcast. Go there and you will see just it's just hysterical how unoriginal these Instagram models are when they're advertising something. I'm gonna go here right now and I'll give you an example. Well, what did you want to say, Brodie to complicated? Not to complicate things, Elvis

called you out on and I was screaming on my couch. Um, you said on the air, just now, you said that somebody collates all of the Colatel On the air you said Coalate and Elvis. Deal. All right, yeah, I added a syllable to it, big deal. No. I want to commend you because today you said, all right, so you learned, proud of you even though you're from Brooklyn, and you use that as an excuse for why we speak. So

So here's the latest post from ship bloggers. Um, it's basically, I guess Instagram models were paid to either they were paid to pose topless with a bouquet of flowers in front of them, either the flowers a flower company, or whatever it was. Uh, maybe it wasn't. Maybe they were just doing it because they needed a sexy picture to put up for that day. But they literally have ten pictures of ten models all posing the same way with different bouquets of flowers. It's like, it's like I had

this idea first, but no, you didn't. You're all you you think your original, but you're not. They're trying to be artistic. They're like naked behind a bouquets of flowers. Yeah, I get it. I will tell you that picture number four where she shaped it like a w Yeah, that's pretty cool. Although the girl in picture five who has the flowers growing out of her pants, that's not a turn on. Not a turn on. Now, I don't need to see a literal bush growing out of your pants,

right uh? And now how about different ways to photograph you with a glass of wine in a bathtub? And and literally they tagged ten models all thought they had original ideas of I'm going to take a glass of rose and put it with candles in a bath it's really a visual. But when you see it together and you start swiping through the pictures, and then again, these women don't know each other, they're all competing for the same Some of these these are very funny. I won't

tell you. Some of these are a stretch. Like I'm looking at the one with the white outfit. It's all the same top. But yeah, but somebody's are very very shadows. The shadows one is great, the shadows post where everybody the shadows like you know or one the first one they ever did was women. A woman laying on a bed with her legs straight up in the air and like they literally have a collection of all of these models with there with laying in a bed with their

legs straight up in the air. It's like these people don't have a creative bone in their body that they're all you know, how do you photograph pancakes with syrup? I don't know, but they show you. Well, go for it, all right. I didn't want to make you jealous because I know this is right up your alley. But I'm not verified on Instagram yet. Is a travesty. I'm only kidding.

I don't care. No, you should be verified. But I do have a business account because I have gotten I'm hoping, excuse me, I should say have I'm hoping someday somebody pays me to post something by the any clients that I've posted. UM, I have not gotten paid. It's just products I use. It's it's not and I've never gotten paid for uh for a lot of well one time, one time, it was part of It doesn't matter anyway.

So this company out of nowhere reaches out and says, hey, we think you'd be the perfect person to to promote our product. Go d m us at this account and tell them that, Um, that Trevor sent you, we'd love to get you a watch, um and have you be a spokesperson for our site. And then a couple of days later I got another one for a sunglass company, and again I went, I looked, and it's it's different.

People who have a large following, who are just wearing the watch or wearing the sunglasses in day to day life. They got a free pair and they're they're they're like spokespeople, like bloggers, right, hip bloggers. I did. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I'll tell you why. First of all, I felt like there's gotta be a scam here. I also felt like they only saw how many followers I have. They my my thumbnail picture is a cartoon of a

person on the radio. I don't feel like they looked at my life to go with this is the guy we want. I don't know if they want me sitting by my pool wearing their watch or sunglasses as their spokesperson. Because I'm looking and it's all and you know, it's all these models, hot guys in their in their convertible cars, shirtless right right, clean chested like no hair on their chest. And by the way, I said, convertible cars. Obviously I'm in convertible but you know, okay, so it's all people

live the life that I understand why they wanted. But me driving my kids to the to the you know, looking for malls were open. I don't think that's what they wanted to see me. What my watch on? Nothing screams sexy like Brody going to Auntie ends with the right right now. If I was in the if I was in the morning show studio, I could see like that could be a thing. Like if I had sunglasses on and we were in the studio and Harry Styles is over my shoulder by the way, speaking of so anyway,

would you would have done that? Though? Right, you would have jumped on that in a minute. Well, no, I would have tried. But I the competition is fierce. I've seen what they what what what what goes? I see what the kinds of people who auditioned for this ship actually get you know, get paid and get there. You know, I'm not that guy. That's not That's not me. It never was. I'm not a model. Well it wasn't about getting paid. You go getting watch or a free pair

of sunglasses. Yeah, you know what I wouldn't put my name in the ring. I think I didn't do it would look weird. I didn't do it. So I wanted to make sure that you and I were on the same page on that. All Right, I gotta go out and have a day. I don't know about you. Yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna jump in my pool. Okay, once again, leaving you a chance to invite me right here at the end of this podcast. Well where well

you want to come over to the pool. I mean maybe i'd take cap on that offer that we'll talk about that if I was invited. So you're not inviting me today? Degrees? Yeah, in the pool. The pool is set to eighty five, which is nice. Okay, just rub it in some it in some more. I will tell you scary. Try you can rub it in a little bit more. Um in two weeks. Again, we I talked about this last week a week before, so you already know this. I'm just reminding you. The hot tub arrives,

so we will have the hot tub. Why are you telling you about something that I can't be a part of. If you want, you can, you can come over and play um rummy cube with the kids with my in my flip flops and your flip flop. Or I could go open a fire Hydra with a rush. Yeah and Don Boys Brooklyn brooklyn Na Boys, Rock Brookless