#109 Walt Dis-Nuts

Friday the thirteen, yea. And so we got home like one o'clock at one one o'clock in the morning last night. You know, I get up at four thirty. So I went to uh stops off at a dunkin Donuts on the way to I know, I didn't go for food. The bus had to drive through the Holland Tunnel from Jersey tight and there was gas stations in Jersey. So because I live in Jersey, You're like, hey, don't why

why would I fight? First of all, there was traffic going need to Manhattan at that hour, and then it was traffic probably on the way back that there was one o'clock in the morning Manhattan travel. Do I want to smack myself in the head of an hour's worth of traffic in both directions. No, So what I did was, I said, hey, I'll get out here. I'm gonna get out here because I live in Jersey City and I'm gonna take an uber to my apartment like any Jersey

resident should have done. But wait, hold on, then I got Then I'm like, okay, I'm standing in a convenience store because it's twenty degrees outside waiting for my uber. So I went to go buy some nuts. I said, I gotta buy something because you can't really heck, a gum stays by the gum. What's the cheapest thing in

a convenience store. Well, usually it's the gum. First of all, I'm not out of my mind, right, you have to if you're gonna and as I said this on the radio this morning and the Big Show, if you're gonna enjoy their warmth because you're waiting for something else. You're killing Okay, you're killing time standing around at midnight and they're watching you from behind the counter. They know, dann

well what you're doing. You're waiting for an uber and they just came in to be warm and you look shifty, let's not get ourselves. And so I'm sitting during the bottle of wine. What are you carrying off the bus? The water cups had Andrew best descisions assistant. Andrew had the cups, I had the wine. I had the cups. And then our Gandhi was with us and our buddy Casey. So four of us walk in to the convenience store where the bus dropped us off right waiting for our

ubers to pick us up from there. So, so, rather than buy gum, what did you buy? Just to the mixed nuts, almonds? Almonds? I don't eat. I don't eat gum. It's the almonds. I don't eat gum. I eat almonds. I eat my almonds. So I figured I want to buy something that I said it both ways in the same sentence. I want to eat something and I can. I want to buy something I can eat. So you know that not that annoying commercial with the guy says I love almonds and the guy goes, you mean almonds,

you like almonds. I love almonds. So in New York, in this area, people are known to say almonds. One of that kind of time to go all the all, the all, all slows us down. It really does. We could have seen a Broadway show in the time it takes to do that. All. Yeah, So anyway, am I wrong for buying something I would have? Now you bought mixed nuts is fine, and you're grossly over paying, But that's fine. I would have had the gum, but I

took the almonds home. Now with a good mixed nuts that have cash shoes or they yes, I'm gonna cash you guy. I'm ann cash you guy. Ease the whole purpose of mixed nuts that have cash shoes and then whatever else. Well, you know, some of the planters planters cans now say actually less than peanuts because they know

peanuts peanuts is garbage. But let me tell you. Nuts are the friend that you invite to the party that you have to invite or because you have to you have to fill up seats or something like, oh, you know, we have a lot of extra food, why don't you invite those. First of all, peanuts are not nuts. We know that there the peanut is not. No one would know or care what a lagom is if it wasn't for peanuts being lagoms. But I will tell you that

doesn't mean you don't like other lagoons. I'm saying the word, which also means they have zero health benefit or very little health. So why are they in a can of mixed nuts? Because it's shipped And I would go over the hierarchy of nuts right now, because it's schmick. It's schmicked nuts. Okay, I'm just here's by the way, you've been saying spagel wrong, she bagel, No, No, that's like sheboyan, it's spagel, she bagel right, she bagel right, right bagel.

So almonds are one of the most expensive nuts out there. We have brazila, I would say, Still, your pistachio is always very Those are like those are like the those are like the trifect By the way, if you say cass, you're dead to me. Like pecan but worse. So all those nuts are expensive. Peanuts, no, not up with raisins and peanuts. So when you buy trail mix, you're pretty much getting mostly peanuts and raising see something lost them

nothing to put peanuts and a peanut. A peanut is like one of the cheapest things you could put freak if you're a peanut farmer. Apologies, But when you call something trail mix. You're implying it's the chip you'd pick up as you walked along a trail. Why would you patch you for that, I wouldn't. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, and so now they're advertising less than oh hey thanks, you know right, you get peanuts, so you still half the can. He's peanuts. Why don't you advertise like thirty

percent cashows? You know people are gonna pick out the cashows. My dad was guilty of that. We would go to people's houses and he would just sit there, like we got the peanuts, like four walnuts in there, right, there's like, forget about the almonds. The brazil nuts. We know he's saying it wrong if you know what that's like. But they're giant. They're like big water bug nuts. Yeah, they're huge, look like hippopotamus tooth. I like the walnuts tend to

be dry though when they're in the mix. You got wet nuts. Uh, your ice cream depends on the time of year. You know what nuts? Yeah, it's the sugary, gooey, sugar, gooey, syrupy stuff that the that the everyone write your own jokes. There you go do it? Yeah, so there you go. Anyway, but my point is this, Okay, forget about that. You had to buy something while you were hanging out, Yes, and I paid good money for that. But my question to you, and you're just gonna no, I don't know

this question nothing. It's got nothing to do with any of No, dill, go ahead. Why the hell did you drive into the city to begin with? Why did you leave your car there? You you're a Jersey resident like the rest of us. I'll tell you. We got off the bus and saved yourself an hour of aggravation and track traffic. Where would I say? Okay, So, just for the sake of everyone listening, Scary and five or six other people on the show live right now, let me finish,

live right outside Manhattan, right outside. So for them to uber into the city's ten bucks, go through the tunnel, pay for the tunnel. Whatever. You guys, split an uber, four of you and it's like ten bucks each. Whatever. I live a fair amount of a distance away, a fair distance away from the city, so there is no inexpensive way for me to go from my house into Manhattan to not have my car, and then I have to come back out and uber back to my house. So that's why you take a ferry in you take

an uber in. I don't live a stone's throw away from the tunnel like you do. So I drove into the city to put my car in the garage at the company pays for which was which, by the way, is a block away from where the bus left the radio station. I know, but you still have to fight that traffic on the way back. That that's fine, I'm that's what put you out at one o'clock. What am I gonna do? I have to pay for my car to be in a parking lot in Jersey so I

can uber into the city. But I would do is just get off the bus in Jersey and pay Jersey price. Uber's how did I get in? How did I get to? How did I get to the city last night? And Uber? You should have ubered into the radio stage. That's seventy five dollars from my house next sixty whatever. It is a lot of money. I don't live near the city like you do. Move closer, That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give up my house in my backyard, in my pool, buying, trying to at least rent a second

apartment somewhere closer tear my mom. By the way, I was talking to my mom on the phone. She was she said to me last night I was driving in she was get a piano tear? What's that? So hold on? So I said, what am I stupid? Don't know what pio terre is? Sorry, scary? There was a joke to my mom. Obviously a lot of people don't know what pioto terre is. It means a small apartment other than where you live into a city. Right, Where am I getting that money from? Money bags? My kids gobble that

ship up? Are you talking about my presence next week? That's another thing that I'm you don't have kids. I'm kind of bota experience questions. Okay, So locien hanak is eight nights and they say they give eight presents, And I thought that was a suggestion, and I thought, you do that for the kids. What am I gonna bargain my kids down to four? Is that? What is? You make it a joke? If you think about your kids. Are they're of age now that they understand that they

don't need eight presents? What ages that? What age? Okay? What aged? Two? Kids don't get presents anymore? Eight? Your ten, you're twelve nights nights, the holiday stops. I think No, I think once you hit eighteen, it's hanka give him one good present. Only one of my kids, only one of my kids is older than eighteen. First of all, So that throws out the window your theory. That means I'm still at seventeen presents, eight eight and one by

your by your standard. No, but aren't they approaching eighteen? The next one they're approaching. No, No, they're only one of them. They're not adults. Hey, so how many presents you get on Christmas? One? So at eighteen should you stop getting presents? I get one present from what you're above eighteen one? Why do you get the required presents for your holiday? But when my kids turn eighteen, they should stop getting the required presents because they should know

that that. It put me out. It's like, oh my god, more, how do you want me to get cheap with Hanukah? You don't see the iron with that? It's all we have scary three kids, we don't have Easter, we don't have all the other fancy windows is a lot of presents. It's then not all. They're not all xboxes or or new television sets. So you wrap up a candle, say hey here, Oh yeah, that's what my kids want, daddy. Please? Can I have matches tomorrow night? They go with my candle.

I'm guessing that that's what some people do, and there are British Jews, but I don't know. I did the act. You gotta stretch it out a little bit, please, father, may have the kind of matches you scratch against the box. Have some more, please, daddy? Yeah they were Jews in England. I can use that voice. Please, father. May I have a matchbook with a fancy restaurant imprinted on it emblazoned? Now give them gifts, real gifts. You know why they put up with me the whole year, so they get Oh,

by the way, speaking to my kids. My middle daughter, who is not impressed by anything. He's tough cookie in a goodby. She's the one who wanted the free brownie because the Haunted Mansion ride was just broke down. She is she only in that sense, only in that. Everything else mostly of my wife, which is fine. Um. She was very excited on Monday or Tuesday night of this

this week today is Thursday. Because she follows our radio station here in New York's Even hundred their Facebook page, and on the Facebook story was the article or the picture of the screenshot of the Brooklyn Boys podcast making number eleven, which, by the way, I asked the question today to the I Heart people, how many podcasts saw there? Exactly in the company about a hundred and fifty roughly, we're number eleven. When my daughter saw that, and so

that Zee hundred posted the picture, reposted the pictures. Just dad, that's really impressive, Like you're actually famous, like this is this is amazing. It's the first time in a long time that she's been impressed, like like really, like, wow, you are in her world now you you may right, I made it into our social media. She knows I'm verified on Twitter, she knows I have a hundred thousand social media follows. He knows I'm on the show for

many many many, many many many years. But whatever reason, this really stuck out with her because it's the world that she cares about, and I made it into that world. So congratulations of both pressing my middle my middle daughter, not not by doing content like this. This is what the people love. They love it. Um, But now, how you know, how do where do we go from here. I mean, how do we how do we take this

eleven in catapult? I don't know if we can if we're trying to get information on what the differences between ten and eleven, like how much did we miss by? And our theory is that some of it was the post Thanksgiving listenership. I think people had extra time to listen. Yes, she had a four day weekend, right and I think that, yeah, but that was the week before. That was a week before. He doesn't go here, it doesn't count. It was the week of December two. It was the week that we

put it out on a Monday, wasn't it. No, Now they we just we kicked ass last week. And I think people like maybe when maybe they didn't listen to it was episode one oh seven. It was the please pass This one oh eight was the top eleven. It's the week before, so then wait, this is number one? Ten is one on nine? No, we're number one on nine, number one. I'm saying last episode one oh eight was was part of keep in mind that any episode they listened to, and you only get credit for one episode

per day per I can't figure it out. Okay, so if you listen to five. If you go on the I Heart radio app right and you listen to five episodes on a Tuesday, we get credit for one unique listeners. I know. But if you were to listened one time one episode on iHeart and one episode on iTunes and one episode on Spotify, we would get three because they don't know. It's the same IP address on your computer, once on your desktop, once on your laptop, once on

your phone. Because I just want to be number ten once so we could say that and again if you don't. If you if you don't download it and you listen to it twice, it's gonna be like once on Monday, once on Tuesday. Then we get twice. You know. That's what authors do by the way they they say they get on that New York Times best seller list books for a week. No, they get on once and then for New York Times best Seller forever the rest of

your life. New York Times best seller. But I'm telling people were a top eleven but doesn't have the sexiness to it. I will tell you a couple of things. I heard a couple of things. Number one we beat uh. Number twelve is our friend Bobby Bones, who has a great podcast. Somehow we beat him. I don't know how. He's a nationally syndicated television star Dancing with the Stars champion,

and next week we're not going to beat him. But for one week we beat Bobby Bones and a. I can't say hoh, I cannot you can't drag it out of it, can't tweet it, can't tell you about I just heard a major, major radio broadcaster with multiple podcasts had them all taken off my heart because there was nobody listening. Really, can you tell me off the air already? I'm gonna shut the mics. Go Yeah, I mean the

name alone. You're like, what is that like when an artist decides to uh cancel their contract because the ticket sales, but then they say it's something else sick. Oh, this is a person uh is on vocal rest. Vocal rest, cancel the rest of the Yeah, the doctor said, don't sing in front of an empty arena. Yeah. Yeah, we keep giving away these concert secrets. That that's a secret, by the way, that that sometimes if your favorite performer

decides to cancel a show randomly, sales sometimes. Listen. When Shearon fell off a bike and broke his wrist in his elbow. That was legit. When Justin timber Lake had laryngitis, that's different. But if your ticket sales are low, you cancel the show. T I did that, and but he came clean and which I loved. He's like, you know what, I just didn't have the ticket. Who said, t I, Right, Well, he had to go check his daughter's vagina. They couldn't perform that night. Dude. Let me tell you that is

still a six story. That is sick. This is sky. If you don't know the t I goes to the guyacologist every month or every couple of months whatever. He goes to the guya cologist. No, he you did you read the story, goes in and he okay, I'm gonna his daughter to find out. He goes in with his daughter. The two of them go to our guyo exam and he stays there so the daughter can check the old guy, no,

the old hyman, to make sure it's still intact. Now listen, and if it's not intact, it doesn't mean she had sex. Could have been horseback riding, and he said, my daughter on horseback ride. Second of all, t I, your daughter could be doing stuff, other stuff, lots of things. You can do lots of things. Five of them just popped into my head right now, people going five lots of things. You can have sex with a lot of different body

pots and keep that in keep that intact. But just because it's not attacked doesn't mean you had sex either. It's just an old wives tale, right. If you had sex with scary, probably wouldn't break. Oh you're terrible. No, listen, girls don't fall asleep with me. They just say, no, we learned. Can we talk about the falling asleep thing? Yeah? Can I just speak? I do well? Yeah, we talked about it last week. We did. We did talk about it.

You want to readdress it or undressed, that's fine. But speaking of of the of of penises as we were, I just want to tell a quick story. I'm on the UM the B train in Manhattan. Now, some train lines run they overlap, so for like ten blocks there'll be more than one train on on the on that line, and then they split off. So in midtown Manhattan, the B train and the D train run on the same track, right, so when you wait for the train, the B or the D could show up. I was on the B

and out off the train. And there was a Russian guy. He doesn't speak English very well, the Russian guy, and so he's asking people, he's he's, I guess, I don't I guess I whatever could have been Ukrainian a similar accent, but I'm gonna blame Russian in this one, even though I know a lot of people are gonna say that

the guy was Ukrainian. Right, you own joke there. And so he's walking around going up to people, excuse I need the D, looking for the D. I need D right, you know, because the way and recording to what you recorded me snoring? That was great. Do you have you have clip to play? Clip to get that ready? Orange clip two? This again if you loved it last week. By the way, calling Marie and Anthony are friends who

have their own show in Seattle. Now. They listened to the ALPS Straight Morning Show yesterday and heard us playing this sound, which we debuted here. They listen to the podcast. Well, I told him listen to the podcast because a little a little secret, you guys, there was more audio of Skari's commentary on episode one O eight than there was on the Straight Morning Show. So you guys got bonus slices. Uh, so uh, just play my favorite snore this one right here. Yeah,

clip two, I feel like that's a wind up. You know, we should make this into a song. I tell you, I'll tell you what I know. I know that a lot of people that listen to this podcast are pretty creative. Yeah, I'm gonna put this. I'm gonna I'm gonna play this again in the clear and along with clip three. Well, no, clip one? What three? Is you rambling and talking? Three? But it's okay in the clear? One two and three, well one is the long one. No one is at hand.

I want you guys to take this and maybe turn it into a song. Top it and screw it, and we'll play it on the Brook and Boys podcast and maybe on the Big Show. I like an E d M version of You've got to have a lot of the the evil laughs, Scary's evil laughs. So here's here's some of the clips in the clear. Okay, here, take this and record it. That's not the one. Oh my god,

I'm I tired. Yeah, yah h m hmm. That's enough. Okay, And now this is, by the way, twice so far in this podcast, Scary has said either I'm tired, I'm so tired. You can use that in the song as well, either I'm tired or I'm so tired. H And now this is uh clip three? Scary? Do you know? Scary you? Okay? Yeah, yeah? Man? Do you know you've been sleeping the last ten minutes? How do I really mean? I'm still here? Are you drunk?

Hammered duty? I'm hamburger. You fell asleep, like I don't know, ten minutes ago, so I've just been waiting for you to wake back up. Okay, I'm right here. How much did you drink? A lot? Dude? Dude? I saw some things tonight that I cannot believe, Like what all kinds of cheap and country going on? All right? Let me hear that E D M song? What you got? We should give him a price. I feel like we should

do something here on the spot. I don't. I don't have anything for you right now, but we'll come up with someone. We'll come up with something. By the way, I just want from last week is longer. We don't want the parts from last week. We want the ones we just played these three right? The other one is too beepn We just what you heard here? Turn that into a song. Let it go viral on YouTube or something. I don't know. Maybe that's how we'll get from number

eleven to number ten. Yeah, maybe that's not a bad idea. Uh tells of the Cocktails the I Heart Radio podcast with our friends Astra, Wendy Wild, Daniel DeLillo, and West. So the four of them, Uh, they do a fun podcast. Uh. They talked about us a lot on their most recent episode, and they were supposed to do a conversation about the Vadge game, which we talked about here, and they solicited

for questions on their instants story. Then West, who has a real job here in the building, had to go do I T stuff and had to walk out of the podcast, so they didn't get to do it. So they're gonna do it on their next episode next week, and then we'll play clips of them talking about the vague game, which they already credited us with bringing to their attention. We're very excited for this. I believe one of them had heard of it and a couple of them haven't, so veatch game on. Uh yeah, and there

you go. Uh should we talk about what happened to you want to jin a ball? Last night? I mean, and it's on the table with you and the mistaken identity. So okay, no, no, no, because it didn't honestly, your take on this is not the way, okay, but the second guy's take on it was the same as my take. So, uh, there was somebody we wanted to meet. We talked about meeting them because we hadn't met them as part of

the q on O two staff. Although we're part of the radio station, we haven't met everybody, so, uh, we don't have to mention names. Right. There was like, there's a guy who works there and he has a very unique hairstyle and uh he had colored it for the night, right bright colored whatever. Well, well, you know, we'll call him Mike for the sake of this. And uh, so we were looking forward to meeting him. So I met him, a great guy. And then, uh, he happens to be black,

at least they we thought he was black. Dogs No, Gandhi's was Indian. He's half Mexican and half did you ask? Okay, So he's okay, but he's very dark skin compared to me and scary, right and so, and he has curly hair and we said, okay, okay, So I thought he might be black anyway, he's not. He's not, but we

thought he might be. Anyway. Uh, We're in this big room with chafing dishes and food, and you can go on either side of the table, right, so you can go around the other side, and it's fruit and vegetables. And once I was turkey and stuffing or whatever, and so I was on the turkey and stuffing side, of course, and Scary was on the vegetable side, and I got I was wondering if he had met this we'll call him Mike, and so I don't know if this was a guy standing next to me. I didn't go on

the food line. And uh, I said, hey, hey's Scary. Have you had a chance to meet Mike? And he says he looks up, he sees me and this guy is standing next to me, which I didn't notice, who happens to be black as well, or again uh black. And he goes, oh, yeah, hey, yeah, I'm at him, and he says it in a way that implies that the guy next to me is Mike. And he's like, hey, yeah, I'm ad him. Yeah. So the guy says, yeah, no,

I'm not Mike Man. Mike's over there. Because the guy picked up the vibe that you were saying, oh, you have dark skin, you must be Mike, and that you were confusing the two. So I left my ass off privately when I walked away, because you definitely mammanned him like you really didn't though. See that's where you're wrong. Not according to Mike number two. I thought you thought the guy behind you was Mike. So Brodie thinks that's him, right, So I said, Hi, how are you? What's your name?

I knew Mike was, but the guy picked up on that immediately was like, no, I'm not Mike Man all right. I didn't do any I didn't do it on purpose, and I know, but it was an awkward moment, wasn't It was awkward for you know, it was awkward because knowing you, it definitely could have happened my poor tenderloin. And I walked away. I feel like you're I think you actually thought it was for a second. Not I never thought it. I met him, like ten, I met him just a few minutes earlier, and I couldn't I

can't miss that hair. He did have funky hair, like noticeable hair. But obviously Mike number two got the impression. You have to admit that he definitely thought you were saying all Mike's look alike. Right, So for a minute down my call. By the way, are we going to post a picture of the box of snow flakes? Yes? After yes, by the time this podcast comes out. So backstage there's all the So Jingle Bowl tours twelve cities, and not every city has the same artists. Katie Perry

only playing Los Angeles Kiss FM and Los Angeles. Some people are only like Taylor Swift only playing New York Manhattan's e one hundreds of gingle Bowl Friday's birthday. As a matter of fact, she's thirty years old tomorrow when you hear this Friday. And but the same crew. We have a national Jingle Bowl team at I Heeart Radio and they take everything and go from city to city, uh, setting up the concerts. So last night in Philadelphia, qua

jingle Boat the well Wells Fargo can Arena. Obviously, every time I say arena, you give me ship it was Far Center. Thank you, I'm making funny you because you keep I think it was the Wells Fargo Arena. But this is maybe the second one, and they tell the first one down. I think the first one was the Wells Fargo. Anyway, it doesn't matter, beautiful, beautiful building, by

the way, love it, Okay. So in the back hallways we were in the backstage, and but all the the in a little hallway, all the green rooms and the backstage rooms and everything, there were boxes like crates. One of them was a giant black crate by the way, also not Mike, and a little Scary. For a second was like, is that Mike? Uh? It was said Katy Perry on it, but Katy Perry wasn't there, but it was Katie Perry stuff. So in one of the hallways was cardboard boxes and it said Lizzo and Halsey and

it was confetti. And then I guess Katie Perry does like a snow thing in Los Angeles for Christmas, where maybe her her part of her stage thing is to make it snow. So all the boxes said some of them said Katie Perry and said her pile, and a lot of them just said snowflakes. Love it. So I'm gonna post a picture. I took a picture at Scary and another one without love. I love snowflakes. So I was like, oh, this is where they they ship them in out in boxes. Now it's like fucking snowflakes. Flakes

really piss me off. Actually they make me eat. They make me want to eat. And I tell you how to delete a snowflake off the elves straight in morning show account. Right, this is your first episode listing. You never heard the brooken By podcast. Go back and listen from zero and then finally listen in order. I played listen to order jingle in a while. By the way, if you're offended by the term snowflake, you're you're a snowflake.

Here's snow flake. Yeah, So that we're like, we got a big kick out of the fact that a boxes of snowflakes. So then we walked by that stack of boxes three or four times. Lizzo had gone on stage already, she had already performed, and there was a box that said Lizzo on it because we had passed it like six times. Now, granted it could be Lizzo's box for Friday night, but she hadn't used the Lizzo box last night. What's in it? I wonder? So I walked by and

I go, well, guess Lizza didn't need the box. So Gandhi from our show says, I dare it? Open it up? Like I wouldn't do it. It's like, so I ran back because everyone was walking. What was it? And I ripped open the box. It was just confetti, nothing special. It was Lizzo confetti. Okay, it was those pieces, right, So did you take a DNA test to prove that I did? I did, and uh it was Minnesota Vikings colors. We're getting seriously, holidays are upon us, of course, and

it's really difficult. It's a seg to hold back on the eating all that in the industry, it is difficulty. Somehow You've kept track all year, Brodie, you are a better man than I. Well, but it knows that, yeah, because you know, you know me fourth quarter scary, fall off the wagon, eat everything inside, and uh, I'm gonna do my detox and about it. No, I know you, but you think you got something really going that that works for you. And that's it works for a lot

of people. And I've out to see TV commercials and I feel like those are almost as good as our radio commercials. It also feels like, hey, they're joining my club because you knew about it first, Like, who are these people talking about Noon, We've been talking about Noon. I think it was gosh was it February? Downloaded the app and I started using it. Um Noon is an app that but it re retrains you how to eat,

not necessarily what to eat. You can still eat what you want, but it guides you into eating the right amount, the right frequency of those items you want. Chocolate cake. You can have chocolate cake, you just can't have it every meal. Noon is a great way to track and keep up and and retrain yourself on what to do and how to maintain. And it's psychological too, because you feel better about yourself. It's about learning the healthier habits

um and and having more energy. Yes, exactly. So they figured, why don't we combine that along with an online community and some support it and be held accountable all in one app. Well, let's put that all together. That's what newm is. You can compare notes and get advice from

other users. You have uh, you have people assigned that you can reach out to and they give you guidance if you if you slip up, if you miss a day within the app, there will be someone who will tell you how to get back on the program how to help you unslipped, so to speak. Yeah, I mean did no food is good, bad or off limits. Noon teaches moderation and it can be used in conjunction with many pre existing population and the database of food when you enter, like, oh well, let me see how many

calories is in this thing? How how much am I allowed to eat of this? The database and Noon is massive and we're always on the go. We we don't have a lot of time in our day to commit to this kind of stuff. Um, it's like ten minutes a day sets you just go to the app a couple of times, you check in, you monitor what you're eating. The app does all the rest. It helps you through the process. You've fallen off the wagon a few times,

we all have. You know, we're human. And if you don't use the app for a few days, they give you an a leert and say, hey, everything good. What can we do it to have no shaming in this thing? Um? And you could always start the next day with a clean slate. That's what's great about Noon. Now Here is the easy pot how to get it right. It's free. You downloaded, sign up for your free trial at Noon. That's n O o M dot com slash Brooklyn. That's right, that's it. That's all you gotta do for your free

trial visitingon dot com slash Brooklyn. All right, start your trial today noon dot com slash Brooklyn the less weight loss program that you will ever need. Hey, this is Joe Gatto from Practical Jokers, and you're listening to two guys from the second best borrow in New York after Statonland of course, the Brooklyn Boys with Scary and Brody. Oh yeah, you would play play the one of Joe Gatto saying good name first, what are you talking about? Well, a minute ago you played the Joe Gatto with Scary

and Brody. But there is I think you took your phones not heard it? Nice? Try slipping in it, but I had Okay, that seems fair. That seems fair. Um, speaking of this time of year which we have been um, uh have you seen this catalog Victoria's Secret? No, I got a real problem. I got a real problem. Shopper Image.

If you don't know Shopper Image. They used to have a store in every mall and it happened to that, well people started shopping online and you know, so Shopper Image sells the coolest gadgets, the the unique chairs and games and cameras and speakers and waterproof stuff, and they they haven't. They used to have a section for facial massages,

but those were you know, vibrators and stuff. Brookstone had that too, say Brookstone kind of took over where so Brookstone I don't know if they still have it, but I remember a couple of years ago we walked in Brookstone basically get a free massage in the chair. But he does that, and they had a facial massage or area and it was all you know, the those Yeah, it was all you know, the fake penises. My kids are like, oh look, dad, face massages. I gotta go.

They have Lilo's in there, you know Lilo Stitches Friend, No Lilo, that Leela. They're called the Leela Vibrator Uh collection there there. Yeah, I'm sure say something. When I'm killing time in Brookstone, I'm hanging out in the virtu are explains why you're walking funny? Okay, So there's there's a section. This is the holiday catalog that I had shipped Holiday Hits. It's called and there's some kid who looks very awkward playing a video game on the cover.

He's not look, he's like my arm. Nobody's arm bends that way. But anyway, so it says gifts for guys. There's a U a hacker proof wallet like a bifold wallet. Way like, we're gonna be meeting more and more as these UM we can walk by people see things. Yeah, you can steal the freakings off the credit cards. You reredic cards. Radiot not a commercial. They have like a putting green. They have a golf club that shoots out beer. Look and the cool uh they have drones. They have

virtual reality drones. You put the virtual reality goggles on and you fly the drone. I guess it look makes you It makes it look like you're flying over really cool places, but you're you're just standing in the same shitty neighborhood you always live in. UM. They have like a blow torch to lightwood, a a tool kit on wheels that your shopper shopper image, Thank you, shopper image. They're very good. Is not a sponsor and that's not why I'm bringing this up. And then they have like

shower stuff. They have some kind of fat This is a fat belt that's kind of weird. Uh, and they have like your a backscratcher. They do a great job giving you products that they make you think you need, but you really don't. Now I need one of these. That's not my issue. Now, I'm not a woman. I don't know if you know that. I think I've mentioned that once or twice. Not. I checked every night, check every night, I do a visual check, I do a little lift up. I don't think they would want, you know,

they would not. They would not. So I'm looking at gifts for her. And although there's a warming blanket um most of them. By the way, this one looks like this personal massager right there. That's a dil though. Well, okay, that's the thing. It's a double end. Time I see the word personal massager, it says the heat is amazing. Now it says it's velvety, velvety soft, come on now, velvety soft, cordless, easy to use, is spilt in heated,

technologular motion. Choose from ten massage patterns and intensity, silicon silicone design, completely waterproof and washabowl for use in the shower or bathtub. Huh really right, but not it's not a gift from then that's their way Hold on a second. That's their way of slipping a vibrator right into the magazine. And you know, the same kid who's standing on the cover playing a video game, who may pick up that magazine that vibrator ad will go right over his head

because it says personal massagy. Well that's how he's how he's sitting. Yeah, personal massage. But that's not my problem. So press first of them. Why can't a man have a person's I want to give? By the way, by the way, you do not want anything sharper in terms of when you're talking about a press, melvety soft. Right, But here's my problem. The next three pages are almost all her permanent and painless pesky facial hair removal products. Uh, touch up your face. It looks like a little thing

that you zapped the skin on your face. Then it says for the ladies remove hair permanently with this cordless led home elect Charles is kit Hey ladies, Hey ladies. Then is the light therapy reduced the signs of aging using the wrinkle reducing neck therapy system? All right, so far I don't see where you're going with this. So my my problem is, let recap on what they have

for men, they have electric razors. We shave our faces every day, no problem, drones, blow torches, beer dispensing, golf clubs, so a putting green. Basically like men's stuff, hobbies and for a tool kit. For women, it's not. It's self care. Well, not only self care, but almost there's all of these. A lot of them are wrinkle and face hair removers. How do you say, Merry Christmas, get rid of your mustache? Here you go, Hey, you know those wrinkles on your neck?

I love you? Like the Peloton commercial. The Peloton commercial got a lot of heat because they were like dudes giving his wife an exercise bike like she should be working out. I'm not gonna get into that right now, but my point is, can you now listen if you want Okay, that's where I'm going. If your wife wanted it, I feel like you should just buy it for horror or tell her to go buy it, like order it and buy it whatever. But that doesn't be a Christmas

present or hank president. My girlfriend loves to cook. I'm she may I may buy her some you know, pots and pans and things. Okay, not the ross romantic, but you know what that says a little bit. It might say, I know you have a love for cooking. Here's some pots that to help with your journey. You're a chef. I live for your cooking. Well that's what I wanted to be. But you know what they're gonna tell me. They're gonna say, oh, you know what, cook for me.

That's not what I'm doing here. You know, the one year I got a lot of heat from this entire morning show was the year that I bought her a kitchen aid mixer. She never had one. Guess what they're expensive? And she like, they started to fifty and then they go up like three and don't get me started on the attachments for the meat grinder and the spaghetti maker and missed that and the and this fucking every piece of metal that attaches to the damn thing. You're in

a you're in over a thousand bucks. You want the big you want the big glass bowl instead of the freaking metal one. And Brodie, I swear to you the year that I bought that, everyone looked at me funny because Telly, would you get would you get? Girlfriend? Said? I got her kitchen a kitchen need Mixerbalt Cobalt blue was it cobalt blue. That's very nice. She loved it.

She loved it. It was great. I love it. Okay, you started immediately making cakes and batters and mixes, and she used it every chance she got, because I know that cooking is her second favorite thing to do. Okay, But what if hear me out here? What if you say, hey, Robin, I got your something for Christmas? You know I love you. Here's a face zapper mustache remover. What would she say to that? That's off the table. I can't do that right. What if you got her a neck wrinkle remover? What

if you got her a personal massager? Well, that and she would be into vice versa. It would be into her. You'd be cool with that, would you? Would you buy your woman a personal face? Yeah? Why not? But but the neck see the wrinkle remover. Now you're getting that's going too far, because see, cooking speaks to a hobby that she loves, which, as you said, it opens the door for that. It's not necessarily like ye grill me a steak in this, you know, because it's a non glamorous,

non fancy present. But when you start speaking about personal care and things that are irreversible, like getting older. I don't think that's I don't I think that's a bad gift. There's a difference in the gift of cookware versus neck remo, you know, wrinkle remover. How about this, The fat freezer chin and Next sculpting system achieve a more radiant, fat

free appearance. The fat free chin and Next sculptings. Now, people are listening to this podcast who got these presents for their loved ones, and they're like, what are you guys crazy? You guys are crazy. I would love that, okay. Or I bought that from my my girlfriend or wife and she loved it. But you understand it's a two part problem here. I'm a woman right now listening to this podcast, and I wouldn't mind that, okay, But why did the guy get all the tools, the cool stuff,

Because we don't give a fuck. We're lazy, fat slobs. We don't care about ourselves. Is that why we have to have our tool our tools on wheels and sucking moles growing out of my freaking back and hair coming out of my ears. They do have a care, they do have a they do have a nose trimmer, okay, And they do have a face shaver and a back shaver. But here. But here's what I'll say, because my wife said, when I showed her this, she said, well, you know, uh,

what's wrong with buying a guy a nose tremor? They guys want nose tremors. I said, here's the difference, men, bye bye. Genetically, being men, we have a hair in our nos and it sometimes grows longer than our knows, right, so you want to trim and to trim that ship up. But women don't want to be told they have a mustache. They don't like if I have a mustache, I get a trimor for it, I'll turn that mustache off. Genetically, according to society, I'm supposed to have a mustache. Women

genetically estrogen Uh, estrogenally not a word? What the fun is that? Right? Don't normally have a lot of facial hair. Okay, So my point is, where are the cool gifts for women? No? I know where you're going with this now, now I understand, but there's not It's not like page four has like golf clubs for women. Guys like gadgets, and we don't give a funk about our health or our body or the way we look, I get that appearance, and women believe oppositly they care about all of that. I tweet

us at David Brodie had scary Jones at the Brooklyn Boys. Ladies, ladies, do you want your man or your woman? You know? I would imagine if you're a lesbian, it's even worse. There's not even other woman saying you're harry, like, hey, I don't need it, but you do, like it's I think it's worse lesbians tweets. Is it worse if another woman tells you you get wrinkles and mustaches? Lee's at, dude, did you just miles lesbians? It's up? Males don't do that.

I only said Leslie's because back in the days of smart beep and beepers, you couldn't write lesbians. So you know you have the code words with the numbers where you know you turned turned that. I don't think some people look look the letters on the phone, the numbers on the phone, and then you turn it upside down. You can make boobies. You could write boobies, which is like to let the number zero zero three, so shell oil, right, but you could you don't calculator couldn't do lesbians. You

can only write Lezzie's. Okay, that's a sad, which is down seven. How did we as a society? How did we advance? Three? Five five one three five l Leslie's ends with a with a S five and you have to go backwards. Don't have to do that. You know your headache. Welcome to smart people, So so let me ask you questions. You're going to defend your slur because in the eighties you use the pager and like to type it out. Nineties nineties, Yeah, okay, that's right. All right,

you're you're you're dragging your wagon today. But I'm a little I'm not as tired as you. I'm really tired. I do how you know what? Let me I did promise the rest of the Disney all right, so let me tell you what happened. So I told you about four rides being broken down. I told you about the uh African ron at the African restaurant on I got ron. I told you about the men's bathroom. So two more things happened. One was minor, one was major. So I

went to get um a cheeseburger. We're starving. We're Hollywood studios and nothing food wise, real food is open before I think eleven am, which I don't understand because you get to the park eight nine o'clock in the morning. We got there at seven to be first on in Star Wars Land, So why would you serve breakfast? There's no food. So I saw people moving not far from the haunted the Tower of Terror. What are you trying

to Tower of Terror? I don't go on the Tower of Terror, so I forgot the name of it for a minute. Anyway, so I see that they're opening up the gates, so I run up. I said, are you open yet? Well, not technically, but we'll we'll we'll take your order A fantastic so that the men you says, cheeseburger, let us in tomato. They said, you know what, Um, I'd like it cheeseburger with cheese and tomato. But that's all I want, I said, is there anything else on

this cheeseburger? Anything? Any secret ingredients I should know about whatever it is, I don't want it, just the cheese and tomato, A my my burger. I already feel it's a problem. On the way, no problem, he says, no problem, puts into computer and again these people are the happiest people and the nicest couldn't be nice. And of course what I ordered to drink scary diet coke, no ice, very good. So the food comes out a giant sev you know, giant glass of dia PEPSI flow to what

ice was? So I said, hey, I'm sorry, I'm sure it was the worst kind of ice. Crushed, Yeah, crushed like that is the worst ice. Can't get away from that. So I said, hey, I'm terribly sorry. Can I please have uh, diet coke without ice? Now? Unlike African Ron last week, well, Africa Restaurant Ron when he said, oh, would you like me to get that? Like it pretended like I didn't order it. He says, oh, yeah, you're right. He says, you want this, you can keep it. Well,

you're just gonna spill it out. Let's say, yeah, sure, No, probably took the extra soda. I get the cheeseburger watery soda. If it's free, no no, no. If you get it right away and drop a straw in it, you got like a minute worth a quality soda, the whole purpose one. So you didn't get water soda. But if you're drinking like that second, But if it's for free. All of a sudden, though he gave me the diet no ice.

He's like, he'd just take it though, maybe you know what I gave right, And they gave me the free soda, no problems. They got my free soda, no problem. And I take the cheeseburger and the fries, and my kids ordered some things. We go over to the to the picnic table, the picnic table, and uh, I take a nice bit. I look at the I look in the bread. I look in the burger rather and I see it's tomato. No lettuce. No problem, because, as he said, only let us in tomato. I don't see lettice. Some golden I

take a bite. Oh h no, some kind of horse radish spread like a a Chipotle horse radish burger sauce. Sounds good to me. It was, so I went, you know what, something other than catch up? Bring it on it? Well, I hate horse radish, really don't like it. I don't like it. Don't think religiously, I have to some of the best horse radishes are made by Jewish company gold. By the way, I want to point out today from a tribe hashtag tribe, Judaism a religion not a nationality.

Thank you all right, address all your political spotlight. That was it just my one from a tribe. Okay. So I go back to the counter. He's listening. I'm okay with the ice, you know, like I get it. But you said, only let us in tomato. And there's some kind of horse sauce. He was, oh, yeah, that's a burger sauce like Arby's. No, it wasn't like that. It was just like a pinkish horse sauce. But he was on ter be sorry. So I had to get I got the uh, I got the free dessert. I got

the free burger. They refunded the money. Was it white, by the way, it was a sauce white? Uh No, dude, No, it was pink. I said it was pink already. It was like a creamy pink, creamy pink. Yeah, horse sauce. So I got the burger for free, no problem. That was my last of the minor problems at Disney. Now now here' where I say, get all the music ready. So it starts off innocuously. We get to the park very early. We go on the Star Wars rides at Hollywood Studios, and then we go on Slinky Dog. Slinky

Dog is in Toy Story World. This thing is there. We go nope, microphone there we go. Okay, all right, good, so we go on Slinky Dog. Slinky Dog is a lot of fun. It's a roller coast that it looks like the Slinky Dog, right, and it's a you know, on a scale one to tend like a four in terms of danger. It's just fast and fun. It's not high, it's not upside down. It's a fun family roll skip. So yeah, you wouldn't go on it, dude, that's a you know, it's not it's not a kid's roller coaster.

It's a kid it's a kid like roller coaster. But it's fun. It backs up and then zooms forward. It's fun, all right, man, it's fun. Well, my daughter, my oldest daughter, right, the one that's in college, she has this really nice blue headband, electric blue headband that she wears. I joke around her. She looks like Axl Rose sometimes, but she takes us everywhere. It was it was a gift, very important to her. She's taken into Europe. It's been through

a lot of tough times with her. She wears the headband. Now, is that like Lioness in the security blanket. But not like that. Nope, not at all, but it means a lot too hard. Whatever. It's like a long scarf that she wears, so it like goes down the back of her hair. It's a long scarf. Well, coming around the last big turn, I hear her go, oh damn it. The headband flew off and landed at the base of

the ride. Now the ride is not over lagoon. It's just it's a it's a small it's a The roller coaster is not sprawling, it's just it kind of goes in this in a medium sized area. It goes up and around and around and round. But it's not like it's a massive wooden roller coaster. So we get off the ride and there's three people working at the Slinky Dog ride. Hey, Eric, my daughter lost the uh thing? Whatever gonna tell this? Well she's so, Eric says, Hey, we can't uh, we can't get to the you know,

we don't know where it is. We don't know where on the ride. We can't look until the ride shuts down at ten o'clock tonight or eleven it was eleven o'clock. Maybe the ride shuts down, right and at this point it's like eight o'clock in the morning. We're there early. So my daughter is like getting a little emotion, a little upset, like, oh my god, where could this scarf be? So I said, so he said, look, let me get

your information. And what happens is we sweep the rides at night and we send them all to Disney Springs and they put everything together, we log it and then if you have a lost and found, they'll deliver it to your hotel room. Now we were in Disney. This was Thursday morning. We're in Disney Thursday, Friday getting on a plane Saturday morning. Only that Thursday and Friday Thanksgiving in the day after. Okay, so I said, well, let's look. Now, the platform where you get on the ride is actually

pretty high up. It's not like down at the bottom and you go up. It's it's about two stories up. So if we, so I said, Eric, can weak look over the railing and see if we can see it. We look over the railing, I got Eric and Maria. Maria is now looking to help, and uh, I spotted. I spotted it's by the where the ride is the highest on the last turn at the base of the big metal poles, the blue scarf. I said, there, it is Eric down there. Great, we got the scarf, so

I said, there, it is great. We'll sweep the ride later. It's now there's a there's a fence and a walkway when you go downstairs. The walkways for the staff to walk around the ride, and then there's a fence that keeps you from walking under the ride. I said, hey, can you guys get it? No, because we have to shut down the ride. You can't walk under the ride.

That's the rules. I said, well could you. So there's a gate there it says gate number nine, so I know exactly where it is to take a picture of the gate, and about ten right ten ft away from the gate is the scarf. If you had a long stick, you could grab it. So I said, you can't, like just pause the ride for a second. No, park rules, can't do it. But you'll have it tomorrow and Disney Springs will log it and I'll get it to your

hotel room tomorrow afternoon. It's all right, it's I take pictures Gate nine, scarf pole all right there, and you could see it in the pictures exactly where it is, and it's laying right on the on the on the like mulch right there. Story doesn't turn out well, what okay? So they so, okay, great, we'll go about our business, and uh we we go. We have a great day at Disney, except for the rides that broke down, and we go to sleep. We go to bed, wake up.

Friday morning, our second and last day at the park, my wife gets an email. It says, at four thirty in the morning, We're terribly sorry. We understand you feel at a loss and found report. We were not able to find your item. So my wife reads this to me and she says, she looks at me, and I've told the story. My wife usually says to me, don't cause a scene. She says, go get him. When my wife says, go catt, I'm going to get them. So I throw on my clothes right and I go to

the front desk. Asked to speak to the manager, you know, nicely, but give me the manager. Manager comes out, very nice, young lady at this is a Disney hotel. So these all Disney employees. I said, uh, this is the problem. She says, oh, well, you know what what they obviously didn't log it properly. But uh, you know, you can call Disney Springs. They open up at nine o'clock. I said, well, it's it's seven am because we're getting ready to go out the park. They don't open yet. That's how do

I call them? What's the number? Well, you can't call him. They don't have a number. But from any guest services office, any of the parks, you can pick up a phone and dial them, or they can call for you. By the way, I'm guessing so far. Up to this point, they were just lazy. They didn't want to sweep to ride and they're just like, funk this guy. But the email, the email doesn't even even though you spotted it, right, So I said, so it says you're It says your

lost item was not found. So I said, to my my go but here's the thing. It wasn't lost. It was dropped. There was a difference between lost and dropped. It was dropped and here it is in the picture. She's, well, just call from guest Services. I'm sure they have it. Not a problems. I spoke to Eric and Maria on the ride. They said we'll take care of it. And then a night we got that scarf. No scarf all right. So our plan was to go to Epcot early in the afternoon, then go over to um Animal Kingdom. We

had park copper as. We had two day park operas, which means you go from all four parks and go on the two rides we like at Animal Kingdom, and then finished to night at Magic Kingdom. Boom boom, ready to go Space Mountain. We had fast passes ready to go over the Animal Kingdom for uh uh Avatar. It's important I mentioned that Avatar. You can't get fast fast Vavatar very difficult to get fast beast vatalk. So okay, By the way, how much is this freaking scarf? It

doesn't matter. It's sentimental and it was expensive. I think she got it in Europe. Whatever it was, it worth. But is it worth ruining your vacation over that? Now you're going to have kids, You're you're waiting, hold on, but you're about tom hearing in your voice you're about to dedicate many man hours to retrieving this scarf on vacation. You're on vacation, Brodie. Okay, let me tell you something. For my kids. I do anything, Okay. My daughter is upset about the scarf, which we saw is she a

snowflake in training? No, dude, don't you have anything you care about? Yes? Go ask your girlfriend if she had a necklace or something that maybe her uncle gave you. You know, it's a it's a scarf, it's a okay. First of all, it was like a hundred and something dollars. It was expensive. Scarf understood, and it means a lot. Don't you understand like things things people? Okay? Alright, heartless, baster, heartless single. It would in my life, would if I

dropped it on a roller coaster? Would I care about? Enough with you? Probably a fork? All right. So we're at Epcot, were like, you know what, we have an hour to get over then Animal Kingdom. And at the entrance right by the entrance the Epcot is your guest services. So I go in to guest services and the guy says, oh, hello, welcome to guest Services. What seems to me the problem, Well, my daughter dropped her scarf on a ride, and uh, we would, Oh, no problem, just tell uh, just tell

this other girl here name was Stephanie. Tell Stephanie. We tell Stephanie. She goes, oh great, Yeah, just go to the front desk and tell them, So I tell a woman. I think the woman's name was like Tomka. To May said, like an exotic name. I don't remember what it was. She was from Asian country. You don't know what the name was. I can't reiterate the name. So we'll just say we'll say to Mika. For the stake of this conversation, I tell to Mika. She says, oh, we can't call over.

They don't have a phone. So I saw, what, you can't call over they went on the phone. Well, how do I get in touch with them? If they find the item, they will contact you and they'll bring it to your hotel. Once again, it was never lost, so I said, it's not lost. It's at the It's at the Sliky Dog ride by door by gate number nine. It's right here's the picture. Um, yeah, sir, when they find it, they'll contact you. I said, Okay, I'm leaving tomorrow.

I need to scarf before I go home. And I don't know where to ship it because my daughter is going to college. But then she's coming out from college. If I ship it to the house, she won't have it for two weeks. Like, what what's the policy? Oh, sir, She says, you know what I said. Can you call over to Hollywood Studios and see if one of the team there can walk over and see if the skull are is still there or if it's not there. I know they have it right, just see if it's still there.

We don't have the manpower to do that. We don't have anybody who can go over and check. This is Disney. They have ten thousand employees. You don't have one person with a broom and a sweeper, and and and and a scooper that can go, Oh, I'm you know, I'm over there, Roderick. I'll over by the Slinky Dog. I'll check the platform by gate by gate nine. No, they have nobody. Then she says to me, sir, I can't go myself. I have to stay here. I said, I'm

sorry to Mika, did I ask you? Now? Keep in mind there's people there are other people with problems whatever, and my family now is behind me. I expect my family that will be covering their faces, but they're looking at me like, go get them dad. This is the first time in my life my whole family is like, go get him, dad. Right here. So the woman says to me, she says, I'm sorry, sir, I can't leave

here and go check myself. Now. Did I ask you to get on a monterail or a tram or a bus and travel to another park, which, by the way, I know it doesn't have a monterail. Don't tweet me. I did not ask you to, Amika, I said, can you call someone? We don't have anybody. So what's the solution. Well, if they didn't get it last night, maybe they'll get it tonight. Well, if they didn't get it last night, what makes you think, thank you, that they're gonna get

it tonight. They Parrick and Maria promised me they would get it. Now, I get an email saying we didn't find it. It wasn't lost. I need to speak to supervisor. I wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Deborah comes out. Debora, here's the problem. Well, I'm sorry, sir. We don't have anybody that can possibly go over there. We don't have the manpower, you know, the manpower. No, sir, and I can't go over there myself. Did I ask you to go over there yourself? I just talked to mikut an Esca.

I want you to go, I said, give me the phone number. To call it Disney Spring. We don't have a phone number, So I don't have a phone number. Well, what's your phone number? We don't have a phone here either, what I said, So you don't have a phone. You want me to go home with no one to call once I get home, there's no way to get in touch with you people, right, I want a phone number. This is bullshit. I I want my scarf back, Sir, I said, well, maybe we can make good on the scarf.

And we can't find the scarf I saw, I saw, I started, I start embellishing. Now I'm like, excuse me. My my daughter's dead aunt gave this scarf to her. This is when the lives come out because nothing's working. So now you're just throwing anything at the wall because it's hold on, so hold on, so I said, So as it turns out scary, her aunt gave it to her a year ago. But it happens to be dead now I saw it right, My sister law passed away, sound like, so I said, she just passed. It takes

to get them right, because now I'm like, phew. I'm like, Debra Listen should be making sure I'm happy. Call over there and we don't have anybody over this certain I can't go myself again, Deborah. I didn't ask you or Tamka to leave this park and going our ride to the other park. I asked you to call over there and asked Bill, Hey, Bill, Bill, can you go check over You don't want to do it. I just don't, can't. There's no one gonna walking talking work in the ride. Sure,

we can't shut down the ride. Well, I didn't ask you to shut down the ride. I asked you to shut down the ride last night. Well, sir, it's park policy. We can't shut down the ride. Stop telling me the park policy I know at the park policy is you can't shut down the ride. Although, now that you mention it, four rides broke down and shut down on their own while I was here, So clearly right shut down, So shut down Slinky Dog. People will just think it's a

glitch like every other ride I've been on. Listen episode one, await you hear which one's broke down? So, so why can't you just shut down the ride for a second? We can't shut down the ride? Was okay? Good, fine, Okay, what am I gonna do here? Well, so we can replace the scarf. You're gonna replace the scarf? Are you gonna give me a two hundred all the gift card to cover the loss of the scarf and the and the sentimental value? Well? Sorry, he's what we can do.

We can replace the scarf. We can give you a gift card and replace it with a Disney scarf here in the park. You don't want to Disney scarf? Give my daughter Donald fucking Duck scarf to replace her hand embroidered scarf that she got with A with a Disney scarf, I said, granted the sais here Disney, it's probably two. Is that what you want me to tell my daughter? You're gonna give her a Donald Duck goofy scarf to replace the scarf she had that her dead ant Gabor?

Is that what we're talking about here? Well, sir, I don't know what else you want me to do. Well, I want you to tell me why the scarf that wasn't lost it was sitting there, wasn't collected, or if it was collected, where is the scarf? Well, sir, um what we'll do is um, uh, you know what, Let me get you a card of who to contact great, get me the card. Who to contact because I'm living here. You guys, you have the scarf you lost and found doesn't have a scarf. No one has a record a scarf,

and I can't call anybody. All right, sir, hold on, I'll get you the contact information. Stay right here, okay, Debra. Thanks. I turned around. My family is like looking like, oh, they messed with the wrong person. So Debra goes in the back and she comes and goes. He goes, sir everything he needs on the card. All right, thank you very much. And I said I can call them. I can get in touch the anytime. Yes, she thank you and looks back into the back room door and leaves.

And I'm walking she bolted, got the funk out of there and gave you some false information. And I walked and look as I'm walking out with the card, I see it's a po box. It's not a phone number, it's a po box to mail them a fucking letter. Oh hell now, So I go turn right around. I go to Mika, get her out here, get around here. Now. She gave me a peel box. So Deborah comes out like five minutes later. Yes, sir, canna help you. You gave me a business card with a po box. What

are you gonna what? You want men to send a fucking telegraph to your customer service department? Where's the phone number? Oh, they don't have a phone. They don't have a phone. Really in twenty nineteen. You don't have staff to go to the ride to help me. You don't have a phone at Lost and Found. I said, you don't give a funk the number of a I asked the number at the customer relations. They don't have a phone, I said, Debra, who do I have to call? This is no one

you can call, sir. Well, if we find the scarf, find the scarf, it's not lost. The problem and I I know, okay, you're gonna blow. The problem is they're so used to treating America like sheep and and people. I don't mean the sage. I love Disney. I already played my trip for next year. I love on five levels, right levels of of you can't do this. Finally, most people we just walk with the Alright, I'll write him a letter, flabber letter. I gotta write a fucking letter

to a peel box pox. Not David Brodie, I said, somewhere between you and Robert Eiger. What's his name? The guy who runs the company? Eisener Eisner? Look up? Hold not hold on, hold on Eisener Il No Bob, I've no, no, no, no Ceo of Disney whatever. Okay, So Michael Eisner, it's Michael. No Robert Eger. He replaced Robert, I said Robert. I said Robert Iger. At the time, I said, somewhere between you and Robert Iger is someone with a phone on his desk or horror that I can call. So who

is between you and the CEO of Disney? I said, because I'm here every year and by the way, I just got Disney Plus. So someone has to help me because the scarf is to lay in there and it's gonna rain the night. Well, sir again, will contact you? Know you won't? I said, your information is in the system. She says to me, how are you gonna call me? You know people don't have phones. Second of all, once I leave here, I know how this game is played.

Like Joe Pesci, they fucking the drive through. Once you pull out of the drive through, it's too late to go back. When his fucking pickles on your sandwich, like they fucked me a chick fil a. So he said, get me somebody above you. All right, sir, you know, please don't. We don't need to be upset when you'll be happy if you wanted me to be happy. You get my daughter's electric blue scarf with the embroidery in the butterflies. It's laying there by Gate nine. Well we

don't know that certain, No, we don't know that. Well, so I can't go there and check myself. Don't say that again. I'm aware you're not going. So she says, all right back now, shews, I have to get someone from the third floor. Oh, we're getting to the third floor now. Now I got third floor guy coming down. Now we're getting somewhere. Third floor guy comes down. Doug. Hey, Doug, how are you doing. I understand there's a problem. You haven't been on the finding your door to scarf? Yeah, Doug,

I found my daughters scarf. It's a slinky dog ride by Gate nine, by the big column. Here's the picture. Well, we have no record of it being checked in yesterday. Uh so either they didn't find it, uh that they didn't check. It's not lost. Doug again, can we get can we get past? I said, I need someone Doug to go to the park right now, or at the park and look and see if it's still there. He says, Sir, I can't go there myself. I have to work at a dog I didn't ask you. I didn't ask you

to go to the park. I asked you to call someone. Can we call someone? Please get him on the walkie. Everyone's got walkie talkies headsets call someone. Well, so we can't shut that. I didn't ask you to shut down the ride, Doug, like, stop going through the checklist of responses, Doug, I said to do you know what, Doug, I feel like I called a third world country for help on my computer because you're all saying the same thing on the float chart, but you're not listening to me. It's

not lost. So he says to me, well, sir, just so you know we're not responsible for lost items, it's not lost. I said, well that's good, Doug, because I didn't lose it. You know people lost it. It's right there in the picture. Therefore it's not lost. I said, maybe your staff, and if it's a stretch, I'm not saying, maybe your staff picked up the scarf when the ride shut down Wednesday last night right Thanksgiving, and I was like, you know what, I'm gonna keep the scarf. It's a

beautiful scarf. Maybe that happened, Maybe it got they relost stick, Maybe they threw it out, figured nobody cared. Maybe the morning shift didn't tell the night shift about the scarf. Right, he said, this is what he says to me. Well, sir, you know, uh, we find people lose money and jewelry a lot, really expensive stuff, and they don't take it. I really don't think they'll take your daughter's scarf. Oh so now you're condescending to me. Now, my daughter's scarf

isn't worth stealing. That's your that's your excuse. Oh there's other stuff nicer. They could steal that, but they don't. So why would they take your scarf, sir? Because they don't take the money. I don't know. Maybe they like the scarf. Maybe the scarf fit in their pocket. Maybe they thought who would care about the scarf? Like scary Jones doesn't care about the scarf? So I said, and then you'll give me a peel box to contact customer service. Yeah,

we don't have a phone number. You don't have a phone. In twenty nineteen, let me ask you a question, Doug. If in the real world, now we're in the real world, if you had a problem with best Buy or Apple, or or or Amazon and they didn't have a phone, how did you feel about that, Doug? Would you deal with those companies? Would you deal with a company in the real world with their customer service was a fucking po box? And he says, well, you know it's I

can't really comment on the companies. No, I'm asking you as a human being, Doug. Can you please tell me what I'm gonna doing about my scarf? He says, we will contact you if we finally go. Nobody contacted me yesterday. I want verification from your dog. I write your name down Doug at at Epcot Center customer service. And now now I'm fit to be Tyson. You know what, Doug,

I missed my window to go to Animal Kingdom. I missed my fast passtanding here argue with Tamika and Debora at you because you refuse to go call anybody or have somebody sent over there. And look, well who can I send over sir? We can't leave. I can't Doug. I didn't ask you to leave. I asked you to call over there. I Doug, we're done. Just know I'm gonna shred you on social media because this is bullshit. And I walk out and my my and I tell my family like, let's just go a Magic Kingdom. Let's

just go. I go, this is not the end of it. I was gonna say, Brodie doesn't give up. This can't be the end of the top end of it. So I go on social media and I and I get Disney customer Service on Twitter and I tell him what's going on. I go, it's bullshit. I'm having a hard time here, and nobody in the park wants to help me. Nobody is willing to help me. So they d I mean,

and what's the problem. I tell him the problem? Okay. Oh, about an hour and a half later, at this point when they wrote me back on Twitter, it was a little while and they said, we're gonna look into it. We're gonna get back to you. Okay. We had dinner reservent. I tell you about dinner last week. Yes, they had my reservation to use dinner for free. Okay, So we're waiting on line for our dinner. We had like to wait five minutes for dinner. I get a phone call.

It's Doug. So first I get a tweet back that says you'll be contacted shortly. Great, Doug calls me, Doug, call me at nine o'clock. Scary Okay, the ride shuts down at eleven nine o'clock, Doug says to me, Mr Brodie High, Um, we found your daughter scarf. It's electric blue and white butterflies on it embroidered. Yeah, where'd you find it? Right by the by gate nine like you said, remember by the column right, I said, Hi, Doug, question for you. How you calling me nine o'clock if you

didn't shut the ride down yet? Well, sir, we we did. We had to do. We got your scarf back to you. Didn't have a phone there, Doug. Yeah, yeah, dogs the dogs on the phone. He goes, yeah, Mr Proby, want you to be happy. Now. Look, I would like to believe that Disney did not notice that I'm who I am and just took care of it because they're good people and I love the company, I said, hight Doug. He said, We're gonna have the scarf sent over to your hotel and by the time you get back from

dinner it will be there waiting for you. Fantastic, fantastic. So we go to dinner. They're on my reservation. But yeah, yeah, I get the free dinner, the whole thing, go to the park, go to Space Mountain. Great time. Great. The next day we're at the airport. The flight from Jet Blue is delayed five hours. Why because the plane in Newark had to be repaired. So they said, a new plane. We have to wait three and a half hours, then four hours. I get to what I did with Jet Blue.

In a minute. My phone rings, Uh, yes, I can help you. Yeah, this is Michael from Disney Corporate. Hello, Michael, I understand you've had some problems. Our social media account contacted me. Said you got a concern. I said, oh, yes, very good. Yes, uh, he said, what would happened? I give him the whole thing. I give episodes one, oh eaight and one on nine. I give him the hall spiel. He says, that's terrible. That's not that's not how we do business. He said, he said, the guy on Space

Mountain told you that it wasn't their fault. It was the people moving. Yet the whole thing and the restaurant we've taken name, and the scarf and the phone number, and the whole thing. I gave names, numbers, the whole thing. I said, Listen, Michael, I love Disney. I don't want to find fault with Disney. No, sir, we want you to find Listen, something's wrong. We want to know. I was the only way we get better. Well not not the people below him. They didn't want to know. They

didn't give a fun right, I said. He said, we will. We will speak to the people on the rides you mentioned. We will look into the broken rides and make sure that they get that they're in working order. He said, I'm a I'm a VP. I have the authority to call the park. I want you to understand how much it means to us that you contacted us. I said, very good. He said, uh so, I'd like to do something for you and your family, your five people. Yeah, he says, SE's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give

you six fast passes. Hold on, hold on, six fast passes for the next time you come. I said, well, Doug, we come every year now. Six fast passes are worth a lot. They are, he said. And what we're gonna do is we're gonna give you two fast passes. For Avatar, which they're impossible to get. You go right on the ride, no waiting. They're a special fast pass. Due you didn't get free dessert, You've got free Viennese hour. Hold on, hold on. I'm doing well here, right, I said, Doug.

I appreciate that. That's very kind, he says. And uh, you and your family had park oppers for the two days, he says, I'm gonna give you and your entire family two day park hoppers. How much is that a couple of thousand dollars. It's a lot of money. Out of money, I said, Doug, I said, I said Mike, I said, you've done well here. Thank you, he said. We want

you to be happy. You clearly did not have the Disney experience that you would hope for, which, by the way, I've never had a problem with Disney before, never go there every almost every year. And and by the way, anyone listening to this podcast know that the norm is fantastic. It's just I just a bunch of errors whatever, he said, All these things add up. I want you to have a better experience. Here's the thing. And uh, anyway, so I got park copperas fast passes. Listen a lot of

people would have given up a long time before. My wife cried when I told her we got the park OPPERA passes not all worth it. I know it was, but you're You're an anomaly. You're gonna fight till the death. I'm going down fighting. We know that about you. But most people would have stopped far short in their arguments and just went back to their vacation. Myself included, okay, but hold on, Why does it take a guy like VP Mike to step in and do what he did

right to get to that it should not? And again, I want to stress I've never had a problem with Disney in my whole life. But why answer me this my impression? Isn't it? Why isn't it that first couple of people want to I get it, you're new here. You can bring the manager out. But at that point when the manager has to get the guy from the third floor, the third floor guy, I know what's going on in the third floor where Doug works, But Doug

came down no help. Like at some point when you're Deborah, you're the supervisor, when you go get dog when you're deaf con one. By the way, everyone gets that wrong. Def Con five and def Con one. It's the reverse order in the movies and what it really is when you're at the the highest level, right and it's like, this guy is upset and you go to you go to the third floor. We gotta we gotta code red here. You've got a guy here from New York. You want

to come down here, Doug. When Doug comes down knowing it's a code red, Doug gotta take care of it, right, It's got to end with him. All Doug had to do was say, I will personally make sure you get your scarf back. And I wouldn't needed any free dessert. I wouldn't have needed the fast I would have liked the fast passes. So my day at Animal Kingdom was ruined.

My afternoon at Epcot was like and all the other stuff I mentioned last episode, and I told him all that, I'm like, dude, listen, all this stuff is going wrong. Just got my scarf. When he had to audacity to tell me, we're not responsible for lost items, and oh, we're not gonna steal your scarf because we could have stolen money and jewels. We don't do that. Why is but why aren't they trained at the basic level because because because Michael, it speaks so much about your shitty

uh you know, employees. Michael. Michael was probably Michael who called me at one point in his life, was probably behind that counter and was so good at what he did he got promoted. The problem is once you promote those people, you gotta replace him at more Michael's. And what I got was third floor Doug, third floor. Doug should be back on the first floor until he earned his way back up to the third floor. What is the third floor if the third floor can't help me?

It just sucks that you have to go through such lengths to get real results. Well, imagine if Michael hadn't called me, if all that happened and and you got your scarf back, dead no and dead beat Doug. Well, if I didn't go on social media, my guess is social media Disney contacted someone who contacted Dog and said, dude, get fucking scarf back. Because they clearly shut down the ride to get my scarf back, or they took the

scarf the night before. It just didn't process. Just disgusting that we that we as consumers have to go so far right and this happens everywhere it's not just you know, you know, but we have to go so far to get decent customers. And a couple of people tweeted me when they saw what I was tweeting and said, oh my god. Also last episode there, want to wait. I thought I was crazy. I had the same less than fantastic experience there as well recently, so I think maybe

someone's slipping. I think all the good people who working at Disney Plus and uh, they're not at the park right now. But again, go to Disney. You have a great experience. Don't let me anything I said, keep it from going there. Everyone's wonderful. But yeah, so I'm going next year. Thank you, Michael. I appreciate it. You can you can push people so far right now. You cannot push people from Brooklyn Boys Boys