Tika Sumpter on Finding Balance as a Mom and Creator

Hello Sunshine, Hey fam Today on the bright Side, the incredible Tica Sumpter is here. You know her from Sonic the Hedgehog, The Haves and the have Nots, and the Ride Along Franchise, And today she's sharing how she's reimagining children's entertainment plus the key to getting kids to open up and reveal their true emotions.

It's Monday, February seventeenth. I'm Danielle Robe and.

I'm Simone Boyce and this is the bright Side from Hella Sunshine.

Danielle. It's time for another on my Mind Monday. Yes it is. We love this time a week. Yes we do well.

Before I share what's on my mind, I'm actually going to take a look back over the last month and when I think about the days, the moments, the scenes that really stand out in my mind. The highlights have been these top tier YAP sessions with my girlfriends. Whether it's watching Sex and the City with hyaluronic masks on in our hotel room or just sitting around on the floor in our pj's with the charcuterie board, it just really fills my cup.

Oh my god, there's nothing better. I know.

I love a low key app session. Like there's something that is so comforting about being able to show up, like no makeup on, bear faced hair, not done, sweats on.

It's just so liberating.

So my girlfriend's from college and I actually have a rule. We get together at least once a month for dinner at my friend Chloe's apartment, and pajamas are mandated. We only order food in so that there's no work for anybody, and everyone has their hair in a bun and is just like ready to talk and laugh or cry and do absolutely nothing.

It's the best. It doesn't get any better than that. Yeah, So now they're on the same page. I was delighted to read this really sweet article in Self magazine that's actually all about the mental health benefits that we get from yapping with our besties.

Oh my god, tell me, I feel them. But I want to know what the science says.

Well, it turns out science actually has our back on this, Danielle, because this article cided a twenty twenty three study that found that the social and direct actions you have with your friends can improve feelings of connection and well being. Now that might not be surprising to a lot of us, right, but what I found particularly interesting is that it turns out the content of the conversation doesn't matter.

It's the conversation itself.

So what you're saying is we don't have to have our brain waves sync up and have this really deep and meaningful moment. We can just be like giggling and laughing and talking about nothing.

Right right.

I mean, I know you well enough at this point to know that you and I are the type of people to think that, you know, a really deep and meaningful conversation with our friends is what's going to build a more profound connection. But what this research reveals is that mundane chitchat can be just as powerful.

So I actually have this theory about small talk because a lot of people despise small talk aka talking about nothing, But I think that small talk leads to big talk. And so in a weird way, you're kind of signaling to your friends or to strangers that you're with that you're present, you're available for conversation. I think it reduces social pressure and you're just you're there to have fun and hang out. It's like a sign, hey, I'm here and I'm ready for this non forced intimacy.

I think that's a really a stude observation, Danielle. I think sometimes starting with that mundane chit chat can kind of take off this pressure valve, and it allows this

Absolutely, it's like unscripted vulnerability, right, yeah, absolutely, Well, we're chitchatting today and we have a really special guest.

I can't wait to yap with her.

Tika Sumter has been dominating at the box office in the mega hit franchise son the Hedgehog, but you've seen her so many other places.

You've seen her on Mixed Dish, You've seen.

Her on Gossip Girl, One Life to Live, the Haves and the have nots. She even start along Snoop Dogg in a sports comedy film named The Underdogs.

I'm still stuck on Sonic the Hedgehog, though my boys are absolutely obsessed. When I told them that we're talking to sonic's mommy today, they just flipped out.

So she's a complete hero in my household.

And now she's actually building her own entertainment empire that's focused on children's education. Tica's co created a new podcast with her husband called Adventures of Curiosity Cove and it's designed to help kids learn about the process of managing their emotions. And it was actually inspired by her eight year old daughter, Ella, and Ella is a huge fan of the podcast. So I just love that this is

It's so good.

I got to read the book and the main character's name is based off of her daughter Ella. Her name is Ella the Curious, which you know, I love. I think it's so special that she creates content with her daughter in mind.

You know, Oh completely, that's the dream come true. We'll stick around, y'all. We'll be right back with Tica Sumter.

Tico. Welcome to the bright Side.

Thank you, thank you for having me. I'm excited to be on the bright side.

Welcome, Welcome.

I am looking forward to the major street cred that I'm going to get with my four year old for talking.

To Maddie from Sonic. He is going to flip out.

Sonic is like a religion in our house, so this is a big moment for me as a mom.

We'll tell him Sonic's mom. Maddie says, hello, I will Oh my gosh, I gonna love it.

Yeah, that's so cool.

Yeah.

Well, we're going to get into Sonic of it later. But in addition to being a leading lady at the box office, you recently began creating content that's geared toward early childhood development and entertainment. And we know that there's a ton of kids programming out there, right. I'm sure that you were aware of that how saturated the market was before jumping in, But what did you think was missing as a mother, Like what gaps were you trying to fill?

Yeah, to be honest, when we were listening to some of the podcasts that are out there now, they're different genres of kids entertainment, right, Like some is more for history, and I wanted more emotional intelligence and broader stories.

It's not just one specific kind of stories.

We have one series in there, but then everything else is just dealing with different kinds of emotions that come.

Up for kids.

And because this is what we do, we knew that we could give a good listening experience to kids, not only just through sound, but also we are creators, we write stories, we are writers as well, and I knew production value was I wanted to give that to kids. And I also I knew I was onto something when Ella was like, hey, Mom, can we listen to Adventures of Curiosity Cove? And I'm like again, And it also helped start conversation. That's what I knew something was different.

To tell me about the kind of conversations that it sparked in your home.

Yeah.

So my husband wrote the story called The Dragon, and it's basically about this little boy who is basically going through the woods to walk to school. But every time he walks to school, he's afraid. He's afraid of the woods, you know, it makes these noises. And one day he meets his dragon, and the dragon is actually a representation of fear and one of the conversations that came out of that, which was very random, well, I don't know if it was random. My daughter Ella was sitting in

You know?

And then she asked her dad, and then we asked her what her biggest fear was, and she had an answer. And so with all of that, I'm like, whoa, Like just that fun story. It brought that up, and she asked me what my biggest fear was?

Are you sure this as a children's podcast and not for adults, because I feel like I could benefit from it, and I'm sure ten people I know could as well who are fully grown.

Oh my yes. And that's the point, right.

I think that was the difference in the marketplace is we know what it's like to sit through something and being like I'm going to fall asleep or I'm.

Just gonna go and look.

I made it for when moms need a break or moms or parents or whoever need a break, and they're like, yes, go play with your toys and have this listening situation.

Use your imagination. But it's also like we're in the car, we're out of the.

Pickup line, kids don't want to talk about their day at school because we used to just get yeah, everything was fine, you know, so now it's like more of a conversation.

I'd be fighting for my life in that pickup line. So thank you.

I feel like if you give kids the space to actually talk, yes, they're almost like the mini Socrates of our time. I feel like if you actually pay attention and don't try to shush them so much. Our thing was like we were rushing through life all time. And when you rush through life like that, I know it's hard for a lot of parents. But sometimes when you give them just space to breathe and be silent or

So I think that was really important.

Things that's such a beautiful learning to take away for anybody. I'm curious what creating this podcast and these books have taught you about how you understand your own feelings and how you manage them when you were a kid.

Feelings. I don't even know what that is as a kid. I mean, I don't know. It was more of a like, go.

Do what I told you to do because I said, so, that's thee.

That was the answer.

And sometimes there are moments where it's like why because I said, go, you need to go clean your room right now.

There is no explanation of why. Like sometimes that's just what.

It is, right, I'm laughing because I was raised by a black mom too, and that's just what it was.

There was no fighting and what it was you crying.

Well, I'm gonna give you something to cry about, like you know what I mean, like all those things that we.

Know very well.

And so I was just like or the look, you know, like uh uh. And I always say like I don't want to obviously my mom is my best friend, and don't demonize her ever, But what I will say is it.

Was a different time.

She just didn't have time to do all that conversation stuff, and I just said I wanted to raise my child a little bit different. Now I do have those moments of girl, if you don't, if you don't right now, you know, the conversation's a little too long.

And no, well we have to mention that your mom was a corrections officer at Riker's and you're one of seven kids, so you had a full house, like there was a lot going on with a little Tika.

Yes.

No, everything you're saying, Tica is resonating. I was raised by a mom who like spanked me and all that stuff, and it's like now raising kids in this age, it feels like we have choices now as to how we parent. Yep, the conversation and the approaches and the philosophies have really opened up. And while I think gentle parenting works for gentle kids, I think that there's some there are some aspects of gentle parenting that I'm trying to incorporate into my overall approach.

Exactly. I feel like it's a mixture.

I don't think it's all one thing, right, Yeah, I don't think it's for me. I know I'm not an all gentle parenting person. That's just not me same, but

The big thing for me that I've realized that I missed from my own relationship with my mother was the repair, you know, like after she would kind of overstep as a mom or lose her temper as I do often, you know, I'm human. There was no apology that came after, but I found that like, just taking that time to apologize to my kids, have that real conversation has been like so beautiful for our relationship.

Listen, that's a huge part of your book.

That's a huge part of my book.

I Got It from My Mama is literally about this little girl who's like she's trying to be like her mom throughout the whole book. Right then her mom has a challenging moment and yells at her hands, like get out the kitchen, I'm done, and they have a quiet ride to school, and then she goes to school and literally is exactly what her mom did at home to a friend and she yells at this friend and her mom comes and picks her up and she's like, hey,

And she's like, I got it from you, mama, and just like you said.

Oof, she gets she bends down and she apologizes to her child. So the repair is there, And I think that's the difference now, right, Like we're gonna mess up, we know that, yeah, but it's the repair.

It's making it. Heyugh, I made a mistake.

I was in a moment or whatever that was, or here's why. And they repair and it basically ends with like, you know, I get a lot I want to be like my mama, but I also want to be a

Is what did you get from your mama at Tika? What are you repairing? Ooh, that's good?

What am I repairing?

I think for me, like I remember now, like I used to chase my mom for validation, like even now, like you're like, does my mom like it?

Like if she said it.

Was okay and good, then I thought it was good, right, Like I remember wanting to She used to works corrections and she would come home and I would just clean the house. You know, I did something good for you, Like I always wanted her to be like wow. And so for me getting older, I had to create a boundary for myself for knowing that everything I do is enough for me and my family now like I created my own family and it has nothing to do with getting the okay.

For my mom. That was a hard one.

It was almost like taking the umbilical court away from me, because I really do love.

My mom's opinion.

But sometimes I think parents getting in the mix of our relationships can be detrimental to the relationship boundaries, boundaries, and ourselves, not even just relationships, it's like our own relationship with ourselves right, Like chasing after that validation is the repair for me of Like, while I value the opinion at times, I don't need it all the time anymore.

Mm hmm, that's so real.

I used to joke with my girlfriends that my mom's opinion mattered so much to me. I have brown hair, but if she told me I had purple hair, I'd be like, oh, yeah, I have purple hair.

Like what she said was gospel.

And it's so hard when you grow up like that to take yourself out of that.

I still struggle sometimes.

Oh my gosh, if she comes in my house and she doesn't say anything about my hair, I'm like, she hates my hair, she doesn't like my she doesn't like my hair. Or when she calls me and she's like, oh my god, girl, that was amazing what you wore and then doesn't say anything else about anything, I'm like, wait.

So only that one time, you know.

It's so crazy how wrapped up we are in there, like cocoon. It feels like for life, but kind of untangling. It is also very nice.

You've written such a beautiful book. And as I was reading the description, there's a few lines that stood out to me, and one of them is because parenting is never perfect. Why was it important for you to include that line?

It was important because my parenting, I know, isn't like.

I knew, literally how while I knew how imperfect I was, is literally my daughter. I give birth to my daughter and I'm like, literally, not even that long after, I'm like, so we need therapy, like my husband and I I'm like, I know I have baggage, I know I'm a mess. I just know that parenting isn't perfect and your kid doesn't need you to be perfect. And I wanted to validate that for parents and for aunties and all of it, for Godmothers, for all of it, Like, kids do not

But I just wanted to.

Give parents the past to say today was not a good day, and that's okay, and even through that, you're teaching your kid that's just not realistic that every single day is going to be like this perfect brand of parenting.

I read this book last year called Real Self Care by Pooja Lakshmin, and it was honestly a big game changer for me mentally. And there's this one phrase that is in the book. She calls this idea the good enough mother, and there are some principles that she says the good enough mother lives by. She says, I'm okay with making mistakes. I'm not defined by being selfish or selfless. I can extend the compassion I give to others to myself.

Well, I even think if you're not a mom, right, like, if you're just in general a woman.

And because we're usually rough on ourselves the most, I feel like I.

Feel like guys are able to be like, hmmm, I look amazing or I'm great.

You know, even when they don't, even when they.

But I'm like, can I have some of that? Because I want that?

And so I always say things like, hey, Tico, would you talk to your best friend like that. Would you tell your best friend the things you're telling yourself? Absolutely not. Would I tell my daughter that? No, absolutely not. So it helped me to like reevaluate, reassess how not only do I give myself the space to be like, Look, I can't do all the things I told my husband Nick, I can't do another thing. My brain feels like it's gonna break. I feel like I'm gonna break, and I

That's a good man, Savannah, Savannah, that's a good man.

Yeah, he said, don't you lift a finger, Go sit down and do nothing. I'm able to say that because I went.

To therapy and I created.

This space that I think every person deserves in general, whether it's a friend, whether it's a husband or whatever, but the space to just say I just can't because you can't, you can't do it all.

I do want to know more about this, good man. So your podcast is a family affair. You and your husband Nick co created it together. Asking as someone who does not work well with my husband. I am I want to know everything about this girl.

Nobody said we.

Work well, just working.

I'm just working.

We made a podcast. We made it.

We did it and it was easy, but we made it. Where do you feel like you're you're different? Like, where's the contrast when you guys are working together. Where the tension come from for you? And where's the success?

Yeah? I think the tension comes from we both have a well, it's more me.

I'm more like control, like say it like this, do it like this, and he's like, Tico, let me do me you know what I mean. And I'm like, okay, fine, like releasing control for me, Like that's the tension, right yes, And for him it's like he's very like, give me a direction, tell me what you need and I.

Can fulfill the need. Like he's easy like that. When would you say you really hit your stride as parents?

Ooh, that's a good question.

I think we hit our stride at like five and six. I feel like my sweet spot is now because I think five and six we were like, oh this is getting easier, and now eight we're like whoo. Every time I'm like my my baby maker is like I want one more. I'm like, ooh, we're out of the woods.

Wait now I'm excited to see if you end up having one more.

Oh, girl, I think that shit is sailed.

Well.

Part of it is that you're so busy working all the time. You had a huge year at the box office. Simone mentioned at the top. You're part of the Sonic franchise. It grossed over a billion dollars at the box office and it's probably a big hit in your household too. Did you take on the role because of your daughter at all?

Yeah?

I did. Actually, she really can't watch many.

Things that I've done or are doing, so this was like something for me and for her. When it came around, I was so so grateful to be part of such an amazing team and part of a legacy of things that kids are going to grow up with, Like I'm in their lives forever.

So that made me really happy.

I heard that she knows more about the characters than you do. Does she school you? Girl?

She embarrassed me the other day we to the Sega offices and she's like, they're showing us everything. She's like, Mom, you didn't even know about Rouge like you didn't. She's like naming characters that She's like, you, mom, you did not know about that character? And I was like yeah, and I'm like, you're right, I didn't you help me? You know, She's basically like calling me out on things I didn't know because I was like, oh yeah, uh huh. And she's like you didn't know that, mom?

So rude. How dare you seem to Maddie that way?

Dude?

Like so rude?

But yeah, she is teaching me, so hey, you got to give it to her.

We've got to take a quick break, but we'll be right back with Tika Sumter. And we're back with Tika Sumter. Well. Jim Carrey has made a lot of headlines being a part of the Sonic franchise as well, just a comedy legend all around, and I'm so fascinated by him personally. What surprised you the most about working with him and spending so much time with him.

What surprissed me is like not on camera as off camera. It's like some of us went out to dinner, and it's the conversations that you get to have on a human level, Like he's just like literally when they're like they're just like stars, just like us. He's not only valuable in the sense of like, oh, I'm Jim Carrey, but in conversation you feel like he's listening to you. Even when he gives advice, it's not like I'm giving you advice.

He puts himself in there.

I remember we were just talking about family and like different things, and he was so vulnerable and I was like, wow, you admitted that to me, Like he wants to connect, and I think that translates in what he does, right, it does.

Like I can tell that I've never met him, but I can just tell that he would be a person like that.

He is a person like that. He really is.

Oh did any of the conversations that you had with him change your own philosophy as to how you approach the projects that you select?

Hmmm, Like for me, he does things that he loves, you know.

And I think at the beginning.

Of our careers, like while we would love that idea of like do everything you love, like I love when people are like when.

I chose this project, you know, like.

I mean, God bless everybody who says stuff like that.

I wand of love this about you.

That is the realist thing anyone's ever said on our shows. That was hilarious.

I mean, God.

Bless everybody who can choose things like that, But it's a very small percentage of people who can actually do that. And especially because I remember coming up as an actress, You're like.

Dude, I need to pay my bills. I want to do this full time, like anything that I can keep trying.

You know, like, if you're not able to get on set, how are you going to learn.

You can't just be in a class all day.

You got to be in the arena to learn how to fight and.

To do it.

So it always baffles me when you know people are like, as you get further in your career, yes there are options, but it's even a different level of like okay, you're an option, and now you're an option with just like maybe two other.

People that we are having, you know what I mean.

Also, when you're in a creative field, it is a gift to get paid to get your reps in and like that's so underrated.

Say that again, Say that again.

When you're in a creative field, it's such a gift to get paid to get your repsin.

There we go like people don't understand.

First of all, the percentage of people going out for the one role. Then even when you get a call back, that's a another small percentage, and then getting the thing and not getting fired is another percentage, and being replaced. There are so many levels to this creative thing that we do that it's just like I think people think it's like, oh, you should have did this, you should have did that role, you should have did that part.

And I'm like, girl, be stormed, you know in.

Marvel, like you should go and be And I'm like, really, can you call them?

That's so funny and so real? Yeah, so real? Yeah, Okay.

One thing that you did choose though, that I think is very cool is that you're about to work on another movie with the mogul Tyler Perry, and it's a project that you co wrote. So you and Tyler obviously have a long standing relationship, but it's the very first time that he's directing a movie he hasn't written.

Yeah, Antika, if anybody.

Saw his documentary, they know that he is so notorious for being all of the things on all of the projects.

Yeah, how did you convince him to do this?

Well? Okay, so I co wrote a script with my friend Katori. She's actually a writer on Pea Valley.

I'm so obsessed with her.

Yeah.

So, my friend Kimiando Katuno is an EP. She's a producer on the show, and she's a one of the lead writers of Pea Valley, who my friend Katori.

Is the creator of. And so we wrote this project.

Together, and I brought it to other people before and they were like, oh, we love it, but they couldn't get it done. And I was like, you know what, people call their friends all day long in this industry.

They put their.

Friends in every movie. I'll call my friend. I've known him for a very long time. I've worked with him multiple times, and he is like a big brother.

And I call him and he's like, send me script.

He calls me, matter days, love it, love it all right. Let me call Netflix or Amazon and Seat or whoever. Let me see if they want to do this.

Okay. He calls me. He's like, so, yeah, Amazon wants to do the movie. And I go what. I just fall on the.

Floor and I start crying and I'm like, are you kidding. He's like, no, I'm not kidding, And we're gonna start pre production in like.

A few months. Do you know how long.

It takes to do anything in this town? Do you know how many meetings before the meetings before the meeting before the meeting, at.

Least like two years, at least like at a minimum, at.

A minimum two years.

That thing was in production so fast. So that man, let me tell you you want something done, he gets it done. And then the fact that he wanted to direct it. He's never he writes his stuff like that's what he does. He does all the things. He's like, this is you you're really going to be producing this thing? And he did that, and we have most of the movie in the cans.

So I'm super excited.

That's such a feather in your cap because that means he really trusts you.

Tika, you said that you fell on the floor crying when you got the news that you know, Tyler was able to facilitate a production deal through with Amazon.

What was it about that? Yes, that meant so much to you.

Hmm, that's a good question.

In this business, there's little validations that you get along the way, like yeah, you're onto something to me, the concept of film execution, of actually getting it on paper, and like my vision was validated, Like, wait a, Sey, You're not crazy. You're not crazy, because the amount of knows you get right in our industry will make.

You feel nuts. It'll make you feel like.

You're not valuable, you're always the maybe next time, and you're like, no, the time for me is now, you know. And so that validation that yes, that my first co writing credit I've produced before, but like really producing this and the thing that.

Started as an idea is actually going to be on the screen.

And the fact that Amazon was like yes, and the fact that Tyler was like yes, that was like, hey girl, you're not crazy. So it was just validating all my dreams that I've come thus far, and I'm like, trust yourself. It just made me trust myself even more.

I love that. Wait, we both just did the same thing in it. Yeah, so much because you really touched our hearts. Yeah, thank you, thank you.

That was so vulnerable to share because I think everybody in their own way is looking for that, Like we all have this inner voice that we're just looking for confirmation.

On confirmation and confirmation, I feel like sometimes it creates confidence, like it just that's how you get more and more confident you know, you're.

Like, that's a bar, thank thank you, But yeah, no confirmation does I feel like create more confidence because even if it's small bits of confirmation, it's just it builds.

It builds and builds and builds.

And you're like, Okay, everybody just wants to know that they're not insane.

Some of my ideas work, some of them don't.

But I know that in this field, like I'm not insane, Like my ideas are good.

Mm hmm. It's a sense of belonging to like I belong here, I belong here.

I agree.

Okay, Tika, this has been such a meaningful interview, and so I have a really dumb question for you.

I love this. I love I love dumb questions. I have them all the time.

Thank you for that. Happy too.

Okay, you have over two million Instagram followers that are so obsessed with your life, and I want to know something that you are obsessed with right now, whether it's like a book, a hobby, a wellness trend, something that like you haven't been posting online that you're so into right now.

Okay.

I told myself I need to get more hobbies in my life because my husband and my daughter they have a.

Like a list of hobbies. They're like, oh, we're going to go.

Paddleboard in the ocean and surf and more time, like all the and I'm like they're like, what do you love to do? Mom?

And I'm like work.

I knew you were going to say that.

I'm like create. They're like, no, nothing to do with work. And so I was like, I'm going to figure something out. I just started needle point. Wait, I am like obsessed. So on Sunday, I finally opened this needle point kit that I've had for like over a year. I gave myself the the space to be like, I'm just gonna like chill here and.

Do needle point. I was like, I'm gonna just try.

I went on YouTube. I'm like, wait, how do I do this? This this one stitch or whatever? Learned it on YouTube and then I could not stop. I was sitting there for hours just doing this heart needle point thing that I literally took a picture of.

You have a hobby.

Congratulations and your mom approves of it.

You got validation from your mom.

Oh my gods.

See that is amazing.

Yeah, I'm theme here see no, I know, it's so amazing. I was proud of myself and when I showed my husband and my daughter, they're like.

Wow, mom, you're still doing that.

I'm like, yeah, well, my daughter said, mom, my husband doesn't call me mom.

That would be that would be all.

Well question, it'd be a choice.

Tika, thank you so much for joining us on the bright side. This is like such a corny thing to say. What you really put the bright in it. You're such a bright light.

Thank you for this conversation. Tica.

Thank you so much, Simone, Thank you, Danielle again, I appreciate it.

Thank you so much. Tica, so awesome.

Thank you.

Tica Sumpter is an actor, producer, and author. Sonic the Hedgehog three is available on Digital Now, and season two of her podcast, Adventures of Curiosity Cove is available wherever you get your podcasts. Her new children's book I Got It from My Mama is out in April.

That's it for today's show.

Tomorrow, we're joined by award winning entrepreneur, executive producer, writer and founder, doctor Nikola Mitchell. She's here to talk all about her incredible nonprofit Girls Who Brunch Tour, plus what it means to be a Laurel Paris.

Women of Worth Honore.

Join the conversation using hashtag the bright Side. Connect with us on social media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram and at the bright Side Pod on TikTok oh, and feel free to tag us at Simone Voice and at Danielle Robe.

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See you tomorrow, folks, Keep looking on the bright side.