Zuri Hall's Hot Happy Mess: Reclaim Your Life!

It's like ten degrees hotter than the rest of Los Angeles, which I technically love but sometimes don't, especially when I'm podcasting, because this office is not the coolest situation. And I really need to get the A C checked out because I don't think it's working anyways. I need a vacation and I'm planning to escape. Um. I'm going to Barbados

at the end. Uh you know. I'm going to Barbados in September, which I'm really excited about, um because my best friend is getting married and I'm a native honor High Julie. And before that, we're going to turn up in Miami for the bachelorette party being veni Osamimi. So if you all know what we should do, or if you have any suggestions while I'm there, slide in my

d m s with a debauchery. Cool cool. Okay, So last week we had the first part of our anxiety episode with our expert Dr Alicia, and if you haven't listened to that episode, go do it. She dropped a lot of gems on how to identify anxiety, how to manage it, cope with it, how to support someone if you have a loved one or friend or a family member, maybe a child or a parent who's dealing with it. Um. So it's a really great one, so go check it out.

And today we've got part you, baby. We have one of what is now one of my favorite Real Woman, Real Story spotlights EVA, where I am talking with a super amazing, awesome, hilarious dope, LaToya Newton, who is just just dropping wisdom left and right. She's sharing her personal story with anxiety and why she created an amazing support network for others who might be dealing with it, yourself included. So you're gonna love the conversation. Here's LaToya. All right, y'all.

For today's Real Woman, Real Story, we have LaToya D. Newton. She is a quintessential Bronx girl. She describes herself as a healthy mix of Cardi b and Lena James. If you know, you know, I love it. Uh. She's the post of her own podcast, The Analog Girl, and LaToya shares her experiences with anxiety and her journey through recovery

to emotional wellness. When LaToya is not raising awareness about anxiety as an advocate for Mental Wealth, a relaxing day for her is laughing at ridiculous mimes Instagram or watching episodes of a Different World. Sign me up for either one of them. This way, I'm down. It is my favorite thing to do. Honestly, thank you so much for

joining me today. I'm really excited to have you sort of open up to our listeners from a real woman perspective, because you know, we have an expert on this episode, and we all have dealt with various forms of anxiety, some stronger than others. Um but especially coming out of the pandemic, I think more people than ever have had triggering events myself included that I hadn't experienced before what was for a lot of us. Um So I love if you could just dive in by sharing your personal

journey with anxiety. UM, tell us your story. How did you get to a place where you realize this is something that I've I've got to figure out or get a hold on. Sure. So, UM, I think it all hit the fan from me. In two thousand and eighteen, UM, I started to struggle with something called the personalization UM. And for people who don't know what that is, it's UM.

It's a symptom of anxiety UM. And it makes you feel like you are living in an altered reality, or like you're in a dream world, or you're kind of disassociated and disconnected from your body and you're feeling very disconnected from people and even your atmosphere. UM. So I woke up March first feeling like that, and I just thought the world was coming to it and I thought I was dying. I thought I thought I was in purgatory. I don't know what the hell was going on, not purgector.

I was like, well is it pergectory? Child? Like, I don't know what this is. And I just kept saying to my mom, like, yo, I feel weird, like what's going on. I didn't know what was going on, so I'm like wow. So UM, I started to go to the emergency room. I was getting cat scans, I was getting calmly. What did what did it feel like physically? Like what made you feel like I need to go to the hospital. I just didn't feel real like I

I can't. It's the only way I can explain. And if you google the personalization UM, you'll see that that is one of the things, like you just don't feel real like your body. You feel completely disconnected from your body. So like I would look in the mirror and I would see myself, but it was like it wasn't um connecting. So it was just very It's a very strange feeling. And it's just um, a symptom of anxiety, like I said, and it just comes from being in a place of

chronic fear or heightened fear. So my body had went into a fight or flight um uh feeling, you know what I mean. Like, so I prior to that had a panic attack. I was having panic attacks. And then um, I also smoked some weed, you know, I tried to do I'll be trying to be like other people. I need to chill because because weed is not for me. And I actually had one of those nights like like smokey on Friday, like when he was running in the streets, that was out in the middle of Harlem, out there

while out rushed to the hospital. It's a very funny story. That's actually an episode on my podcast, and you go back unless into the full story. Okay, yeah, so that's a long one. So short story long or long story short. UM. I started to have panic attacks after tweaking UM and UM. I think that the panic attacks would cause me to go into the depersonalization. So a lot of people do

experience depersonalization after having a bad reaction to weed. There's a lot of people out there, and sometimes it just happens from people who are just going through some trauma or any kind of um UM long term anxiety that they have gone through. So it's it's or or brain or trauma. Brain trauma. Brain injury can bring this along too as well, so it's a lot of different ways to experience it. So that's what happened to me. UM

and I just decided like I hated the feeling. I didn't like being on the train and not known what I just everything was weird. I was scared to come out of my room. I was scared to walk outside. I was scared to um, um, look beyond the train and was looking around and everything just seemed so familiar. It was like I was on a whole another planet. It's just for weird fucking things, very bizarre. And so I was like, yo, I don't want to feel like this. What can I do? And then I just started googling.

You know, when we're not feeling good, we always webin d we all come profession yeah, we all become professional doctors. And so I just started to do my research and was figuring out that there was a community of people out there. I wasn't noticing any black people, um, and I'm like, yo, where are the black folks? Like, somebody else got to be going through this ship. It can't just be all white people in the UK, because that's what I kept finding. But this British Yeah, I was like,

is this a British thing? Like what it is? It's like like so um, So yeah, I started to do my research. Um, I started to figure out. I got to the point when I was like, okay, so this is anxiety, so boom check it. This is what we're gonna do. I'm gonna figure this out. What do I gotta do to like just lower my anxiety. How do I try to, um, you know, heal this or recover from this? And so I, you know, started teaching myself tools.

I found books, I found people. I started analog girl. UM, I was in the talks at that time with a network with actually loudspeaker, UM to have my own podcast. There. Blew that ship in the ground because I was I was so the personalized. My pilot was trash because you just weren't even I was not there. I was, I don't, I was in outer space somewhere. I was gone. So UM, I lost that opportunity. UM. And let me ask you this,

just because I'm curious to know. Was there a triggering event for you and only you know, share as much as you're comfortable with or not. Was this something that you dealt with off and on for years and twenty eight team was just when it went to the next level? Or did it come out of nowhere? Not? Yeah? So I remember my very first panic attack. I remember having um my uh, sophomore year in college. I remember having the panic attack but not really knowing what it was.

And I think what triggered me And it's oddly it's so weird, is that, um Aaliyah dying because she was so close an age with me. UM, I was very traumatized by that, Like I got really scared and started to question more mortality at that point. So UM, Prior to that, I had experienced trauma in my life and I have a lot of things that have happened, but I was able to, UM, you know, I guess sweep

that stuff under the rug. So when the when I started to have to be faced with mortality is when I started to become really like, oh God, what does this mean. I'm not I'm not gonna be on earth forever. That stuff started to ruminating. Thoughts started to hap when Elia died. So I think that was the first time I experienced a panic attack. UM. And then it happened again, UM in my older age, when I've had friends, UM

who have more close to me that passed away. So UM, I think that it's always been in my life, but it really hit the fan for me in two thousand and eighteen, and I guess, you know, my body was just like, Okay, enough, it's enough. You gotta figure this out, you know. So I just started going to therapy. I was reading up on stuff I started in a little girl. Uh, you know, it was just working out and changing my diets. So I was just trying to get myself together that way.

Um and you know, and then people started coming to me saying, Yo, your story is crazy because I was going through the same thing. Never had I seen a black woman talk about this, so thank you, you know, so it just helped me to move forward and keep going telling my story. It's beautiful and amazing that you have been able to take that part of your story and really reclaim it, right like that could easily have gripped you, taken ahold of you and become who you are.

But instead of that, it's how do I work with this and help other people also, which is what I want to get into, and just a little bit with the analog girl. Um, but first just sort of diving in for someone who may be listening and feeling like holds up, but she's explaining it sounds a lot like what I'm going through right now. What what all did

that feel like? Not even in those um specific moments where maybe you were having an obvious panic attack or anxiety attack, but just your day to day, your career, you were a project manager at the time when you were dealing in with a lot of this, right, how did that affect your work? To fight me? So I don't know how to what How long you got? Like how long you got? When I tell you, I mean I went through the wringer when it comes what were you doing that? Whatening? It looked like a damn deer

and headlights in the middle of that. And in the meeting, like I don't know what the funk they're saying to me, like you know what I'm saying. And as a project manager, you gotta like be on your p's and ques and

really like I was losting the source. I remember talking to one guy and in the meeting, I was just like, you know, I just don't feel reel so that he was giving me the face like he did not back and what he was like backing U away from me, Like I don't know what then, And I was the only black girl, so of course they like don't let in and that and just don't know how to act place now like you know, in the first place, yeah, just got there, had just got there, so you know,

it was crazy and I laughed about it now, but I was just really bucking out. I was really bugging out and um so I remember even one day, like the vice president president, she was like, we need to have a one on one because like you're not producing any work. Like I literally was coming to work and just sitting there staring like I don't know what the

funk I'm doing. I don't understand anything. Because also to like I was still going on and I was having all these existential crises thoughts, like thinking I was dead or was gonna die or was dying. It was just so crazy. And then at the same time, I had another friend who was close to me die um suddenly after we had just went to Essence Festival, so like

that was all compounded into one. And so she pulled me in for the one on one and I was crying like crazy, just tell her how I don't know what's going on with me, like I really, and she says she was gonna give me a chance, and like I'll give you a month. And she didn't advocate for me. Hr didn't give a fuck, Like they was just like whatever, And and did you you told them you felt like it was a yeah, I felt like it was a mental health thing. She they didn't offer me no help,

no services. They just basically clowned me. They was talking about me. Um. They would go getting their little clicks and laugh at me, and I knew they was, but at that point I was just like, I mean, I'm used to getting tease and all that kind of ship. So I was just like whatever, you know, like I gotta just figure out what the hell is going on. And then finally she was like, yeah, we're gonna let you go. So I was like, well, before you let me go, can I at least get two months pay?

Because like, you know, you guys, really I was telling you about my mental health situation, and you guys laughed. You thought I was you know, you thought it was a joke. And so they did. They gave me two months pay. They old me nasty asses and microaggression and everything else. And I started to freelance and then I had a lot of free time, and that's how I was able to you know, work on Analog Girl and like build that from the ground up, like asking realizing

that I blew to the opportunity without speaking. So that's what happened, right, Yeah, Okay, I'm interested when you talk about you know the fact that you raise your concerns about your mental health to your colleagues, to your boss, and then that kind of went unanswered and eventually it kind of shot you in the foot, right. We want to feel like we can have a safe space at work to talk about our health if we show up with a broken back or I need two weeks out

because I'm contagious or whatever. It's like, okay, but I've even hesitated with that where I'm like, I need a mental health day and it's worse than if I was sick or the flu or whatever it is. But the hesitation comes in because you don't trust that people will take that as seriously as we do the physical stuff. So I'm curious to know what you would say to someone who might be dealing with that hesitation for good reason, because it doesn't always win end well to go to

your boss and say I need a mental health break. Okay, so I really again, you know, I always have the preface like I'm not a professional. Analog girl is not a professional thing, okay. Always got to say analog girls brought about to talk about my own personal experiences because it helps to be relatable to other people. So I don't think all the time it is it behooves you to share it with your employer. I don't think so. And I think that you have to know what You

gotta go test out what HR is about. What what are there? What are what's important to them? You know what I mean? What are there? What are they stepped there and put their neck out for you know what I mean? And that organization, how do they feel about you as a black person there, you know what I mean? Or did they just start saying, oh, race to to health equity for black people or race to you know, get fifty people of color in our organization and by

the year did they just start doing that? So you have to evaluate that and see like how much do they really care about us? And then how much do

they really care about mental health? So I think that you have to you know, engauge that and if you have a relationship with your supervisor boss thing, yeah, I would they bring it up otherwise I personally, if you need that money and you need that job, start going to therapy, start figuring out another job, Start figuring out what your passion is um start figuring out your exit strategy.

Because if it is not, it's not helping you and it's making you worse, and you also don't feel like you have a support system there, then that's not a place for you to work. That's how I feel. So by them letting me go was a blessing and I felt so relieved on that day. I was ashamed, but at the same time, I was like, you know what now, it's like, now what now? Let me hit the ground running and figure it out for myself. You know, like I've been homeless before us I can do this, you

know what I'm saying. So I got into that mode. Um So I do believe that sometimes if you do have that support system, you can say something, but then sometimes you can't. Yeah, I appreciate you keeping it real about it because honestly, that's how I feel. I would love to get out here and be like, just go to your boss, and that's what they're there for. In h I learned a while go under different circumstances. That is not what that's not a protect the company and

do what benefits the company. So because they will look at you as a threat, that's exactly it. And then their job oftentimes is to eliminate threats for the corporation. Um, but that that's that's a really good advice. You talk about having a really good or strong support network. I'm curious to know when you were going through the thick of it, did your relationships suffer? And then also what

was the advice you got from family and friends. You know, particularly in the black community, there's there's been traditionally so much stigma around mental health, around therapy, around talking to people. I grew up with the mindset of we don't we just get we just get it done, we just keep it moving, like we don't really do too much talking about stuff. And I've had to grow out of that and unlearned so many of those behaviors. What was that like for you? Um? So, my mom, I'm a preacher's kid.

My mom is about that life with the Bible and the prayer and the oil. Okay, and that's what let me tell get that holy oil right now. My gretty stayed with a bottle. Just be ready to get it and listen. And I was like, I want you to get it because I don't know what the hell is going on right now. Get the oil. As a matter of fact, just that's my whole body and that ship. Okay. Moisturized me. So my mom was definitely there for me. Um.

She was there for me from day one. She was had to get into bed and sleeping me and rocked me to sleep because I was so scared to fall asleep. UM. My heart would be racing so bad. She would fill my pulse in my hands and she would just start praying and be like, you know, you gotta You're not telling me to calm down, because she knew all the right things to say, but she was just basically soothing

me and rocking me until I would fall asleep. And my mom stayed with me about a week and then she looked at me and she was like, it's time, because now you have to get yourself through this. Um. So my mom was just very supportive in that and just um just nurturing me in that and then also let you know she experienced something like this before too, in her young in her younger age, UM, and how she dealt with it. UM. I also had a friend who came out to me and was like, Yo, I

was going through this all last year. I just never said anything. So now I'm like what, Like I never said nothing, Like I was telling any of everybody who would listening because I wanted to know what was going on, and I was just like, this is so crazy to me. So you know, people just started to open up and talk to me and tell me what they were going through, um as far as relationships and now, listen, I was in a situation ship he had to go because Snick

started having sex with other people immediately. I don't immediately, because who got time to have sex when they think they're dying? You know, I'm saying, so like that's a valid question, like who got talk for that? This ain't the movies, like not really trying to survive, hello, because you don't know those movies that they have to talk to tomorrow or whatever. They middle the war, it was fine time to you know, shoot at the club. Like nah,

I was not doing none of that. So you know, he went on and was doing him and then he wasn't believing me, and he was just in denial about the whole thing, Like he was just looking at me like, so, what do you mean you like? You know, because on the outside I was looking like this. I was still doing my face. I was like getting dressed, you know, but I would be like, yo, I feel so crazy, right, now, and he wasn't understanding that. So I wasn't mad at him for doing that, you know, you know, so like

I was just like whatever. But I had to come out of that situation because it was a situation ship and it was stressing me out. So I started to remove all those stressors like life. I'm glad you brought that up, because I wanted to ask what did you have to lose, what did you have to cut away? What boundaries did you have to set to start that

journey to becoming healthier. Yeah, it was definitely the situation ship and knowing who I am and going to therapy and starting to learn how I and even now I'm I still and that's why I'm single now and get myself together because I become the man I become. I want that love so much, and you know, my daddy issues come up, and I want to be um loved. So I become engrossed, you know, and I knew that that was something that I had to just take take. I had to come out of that um. So I

took that away. UM. I became more disciplined with my health. I stopped drinking at the time because I was doing a lot of heavy drinking, out of depression, out of wanting to be loved, out of wanting to be in a relationship, and this man was just all over the place doing him um. And then also just not being set in my career and my passion. I, UM, you know, was just stuck. I was stuck. So I just started

to find ways of coming becoming unstuck, you know. And um, removing all of those things from my life was helping me to not be stuck anymore. You talked about what you lost or not lost really, but what you let go of so that you could get to a healthy place. What did you gain? What did you add to your lifestyle that helped you. Your faith was a part of that. Yeah, absolutely absolutely, UM, I do believe that I became closer with God in that situation. UM. I am definitely a

hood chick, you know what I'm saying. But I love Jesus. I grew up in a church, born and raised, so I knew what my foundation was. I know the scriptures, I know the prayers, you know what I'm saying. I know that God has a plan for my life, and I know that He's always had his hand on my life every time um, I was going through a situation. So it was just like, uh, the second nature for me to just go into prayer and start to figet these things out and seek guidance and seek wisdom from him.

But it helped me to get closer. And it wasn't when when I started to go back to church, the way people were gravitating towards me and I wasn't even speaking to them. It's when I realized, like, Okay, God, you are guiding me. You are putting me in a place where I must be fulfilling my purpose or calling at some place the point of time by doing this.

So yes, spirituality has really really gotten me through. And I talked about that often on the podcast and write about it, you know, and give give the scriptures that helped me. Yeah, was I'm curious, what's one of your favorite scriptures? So Psalm's one sixteen where he says, I, I I know you don't think I heard you, but I heard your prayer. So I would listen to that old Wait a minute, because that's gonna make me start getting

trio right now. I gotta chick. Look, you can cry hold on because you know the Holy Spirit will come right on end child, So let me bring it, let me rein it on end. You gotta rein it in, you know, because I you know, when you have the personalization, you feel invisible. And so you know, I would listen

to that prayer and I mean, I'm sorry. I would read that scripture and then I would say my prayers and I'd be like, you know, that scripture gave me confirmation that he was hearing my prayer and he was going to bring me out of it. And so that whole Psalms one sixteen is basically that saying, I hear your prayer. I know that you're going through this battlefield in your mind, but you are going to come out of this. And not only are you going to come out of this, but you're gonna come out of this

is pure gold. So that's what I will always focus on with someone's sixteen. So yes, who, let's keep talk about I love crying to last, Let's keep the lashes on. But yes, yes, And I had a very um like it was an experience at churchill like my pastor who she's just recently passed away, but I was just sitting by myself and I was going to church alone every Sunday mine in my business like on and one day she just was like, um, you excuse me question, were

you in black panther like excuse? I was like no. She was like, but you know what, it's not even that your look. She was like, I'm just grabbing and this is her from the pulpit in the middle of the service. Oh no, no, no. She stopped service and was like, I'm just so drawn to you, and um, she was are you remember here? And I was like,

not not yet. And she talked to me and then she spoken to my life and you know, she was just like, you know, well it ain't what kind of forever is Jesus First, that's pretty funny, but that in itself was God just saying I see you, and other people see you. You're not invisible. So like that was like the defining moment for me of coming out of this personalization in this altered universe or wherever I was living at the time. Spiritually, how long ago was that?

How recently was that? Um, that was too, that was at the end. Now that was two thousand nineteen. So I went through two thousand and eighteen, joined the church at the end of two thousand eighteen, and that happened when in two thousand nineteen, okay it you mentioned your podcast on it you said something super interesting about not saying my anxiety anymore. My anxiety tell me about that? What does that mean? Why not that? Because it ain't mine?

I don't want that ship So yes, and I you know, like I recently just finished writing a book, honestly, and I just had to go back and see where I was still saying it like muscle work like mine. I was like, nope, take that out, take that off, because I don't want other people to say it and start claiming ownership of it. So um, you know that was in my mind, like why I keep saying mine, like I own this thing. I don't own this, you know, like anxiety is also always going to be a part

of our lives. It's a natural thing that happens. But I don't own that, you know, I don't own that our own peace, our own happiness, my happiness, my peace. What do you refer to? Do you not refer to it as at all? Or what I just say anxiety or you know, like so you know today I'm not I'm feeling a little just or you know, girl, I'll be having a little anxiety sometimes or like not a girl the way my anxiety set up. No, no, no, I mean like I don't I try to change my

my language when I'm speaking, right. I love that that that sort of intention We talked about being intentional in off Assets of Life in the podcast, and it's like, I can be sick, right, but I would just say, you know, I came down with a cold, or you know, I feel a little sick right now. I don't go around saying my sickness and rights a part of me.

It's the thing I'm experiencing exactly. I love that. Okay. Um. When it comes to tactics to to sort of curb anxious behavior or feelings when they do arise, do you have go to things that you recommend other people try that might work. Sure? Yeah, I mean I'd be doing it all um. So meditation is one of the main things that I do. I do t M transcendental meditation, which is one of the easiest ones explain that to

people who don't know. So it's the most effortless um meditation where they give you a mantra, I don't you know what, I'm not gonna say that because I don't know where this is gone. But they give you a mantra and um, you rehearse the mantra over and over in your head as you're quiet, and you're quiet time for twenty minutes, two times a day. Um. The mantra means absolutely nothing. It has nothing to do with spirituality anything,

no religion anything. It means nothing. It's just something for you to focus on so that you are not focusing on other things. Now. With TM, you do have your thoughts, and what I love about that is they teach you that these thoughts are not bad. And I think what happens is a lot of especially a lot of people who struggle with anxiety, is that when you try to meditate, your thoughts are like a hundred I think you're failing. You're not failing, Like that's what happens when you're meditating.

You're you're gonna have these thoughts, good or bad. It's just a matter of getting into the flow and learning how to not be so affected by these thoughts that come. They come and they go, They flow easy, like water, moving back and forth for like air. So that's what answer little meditation is and I often do that, especially in the height of what I'm feeling, like real frantic or struggling with my mortality or some kind of existential crisis, I do the t M. I mean, I don't keep

it up and try to. I need to be more consistent with it. But especially when I'm doing bad or not doing bad, or when I'm having a struggling day, I'll do the tm. UM. What else do I do? I oftentimes do juice cleansing. I feel like that helps me. That does help me. UM for clarity, UM, and you don't get so hungry. I always want to do a cleansing. Always give up. I do, And I just finished doing Chevy UM, which was easier because she helps. She gives you like like you have you can eat like a

salad and conteine or whatever, So it helps or something. Yeah, you and I have a little something. But it does give you a little clarity and make you feel lighter. So I you know, I do know that. You know anxiety does have a lot to do with your gut too as well. So I try to maintain what I'm

eating and eat a little healthy UM. And I've cut back on drinking alcohol because I find that the next day I feel like shit, Especially when people who struggle with anxiety, you wake up the next day and you're like, I'm so depressed and I have no reason. I don't understand why I'm depressed. That anxiety That alcohol, it really is like they come down from that right Like people think of it only in a sense of like hard drugs or certain like drugs literally, but like any substance.

And we've all been there. I have certainly had those experiences where I'm like, last night was fun, but today I'm like, what is the point of any of it? What is the point? Because yeah, your anxiety spikes regardless whether you feel like it's something you struggle with every day or or not. I have found that when I drink heavily the next morning, I would always just feel

on edge and wired and just down. So I'm glad to hear you say that because it really normalizes the fact that, yeah, that that can't play a part in it. The substance. It really does. It really does. So I noticed that about myself, and that's another thing. You just gotta be honest with yourself and then start holding yourself accountable. Um, And you know, I know that we are having while we are having compassion for ourselves during our struggles with

our mental health. We also have to be holding ourselves accountable. UM. And that's what I found that I had to start doing too. UM. And then, of course therapy, I sit on the couch every week. I don't I don't play those games, and I go and just leave everything there with my therapist. UM. Right now I'm looking for a male therapist. I feel like I want to be intentional about my therapy now, like my therapist was great, UM, But I don't have great relationships with men, and I'm

just now rekindling my relationship with my father. So I feel like going and being intentional to by seeking out a male therapist will help me to get a little more trustworthy of men, especially black men. So I'm on the search for that. UM. But yes, I've been intentional about my therapy and intention about who's going to be nurturing me in therapy. UM. And I think that that's important for us to do to as well. UM. And then you know the breathing techniques and panic attack techniques.

One is stuck on a limit that will take you, Yeah, it'll it'll ground you in a second. If you're starting to haven't. Yeah, because of the sourness. So if you're having a panic attack and one day try it, go on a limit because the limit you'll focus on the on the sourness. Right, I'm so to kind of ground you and bring you down cold water, walking back and forth, that kind of stuff. Yeah, how do you feel about

caffeine coffee? You can't do that? Yeah, caffeine makes me feel like I don't snorted the whole line of cocaine all of us and listen I want. I was like, I don't like this, and it was like I remember going to sleep and feeling like I knew I would sleep, but I felt like I was up. So I was like, I'm never doing this ship again. So caffeine don't sit well with me, not even like a sip of PEPSI,

I can't even do it. So if you're highly yeah, if you're like really really anxious or you know you have an anxiety, to sort of like cut the caffeine out, cut the caffeine out, cut the caffeine out that. That's a really good tip. Before we wrap up, I can talk to you forever. This is so fast. I know, I love talking to you so informative and just real and honest about everything, which is something I always respect

and appreciate and try to be myself. Um. You know, as we talk about vulnerability and mental health in the stigma, I'm curious to know why, why why do you share as much as you share? Why are you so open? And was there ever a hesitation about being this open with such personal stuff? While I'll start from the Laddin in um, so um, always hesitation. There's always hesitation because of the shame that I have harbored during my struggle um, and then also not wanting to feel like a debbut

down all the time. So that's why I always bring humor into my episodes a lot. And I'm always just like, you know, I'm just a ratchet, regular, decular girl who struggles with anxiety, you know. So I always like to, you know, make not make light of the situation, but also just just be a little more humorous in it so that it's more relatable. So I do struggle with it and being as open as I am because I

don't want to seem like a Debbie downer. Um. And why I did it, it's because I just never so I didn't see anybody else doing it at the time. Now celebrities are doing it, and we are very appreciative of them, but of course they have the privilege of the audience and the marketing and the money behind them, whereas someone like myself is doing a whole thing by herself but has found this small community that's so loyal and they are just like, yo, we just want to

hear what you gotta say. Please, can we just you know, can we email? Can we talk? And I can talk with them. I do want on ones with some people who are struggling with the person lization. So that that was to me. That's the reason why I'm doing it. For the people who just want to have someone that they can relate to, a peer to peer kind of thing. So UM and also for black women and black men. UM men have reached out to me, you know, and

they don't see this situation. There was, you know, a black guy who was like he was going through DP and he's like, Yo, never have I seen anybody of any color talking about this, you know. So it's for them, and it's for me because it's healing for me to keep talking about it and to keep sharing UM and not keeping this stuff bottled up. So that's why I love it. I love it. I love in LaToya, I adore you. I'm like in love. Right now, I want

to talk about where people can find you. But before we wrap up with that, UM, you do some guided breathwork. You're in a guided breath work, right, Okay? Can you take us through like just a short like a minute or less guided meditation that can help release some stress and anxiety maybe a little overthinking for us. Oh sure. So I always do the four a count, um, And that's inhale on the four account, and then you hold on the four a count and then you exhale on

the four account, um. And it helps in anything when you stress in front of computer. It helps for panic attacks to um. So you take a deep breath in on the four hold four. You gotta count me in or something. I want to do it so we can start now, okay, So breathing on the floor, hold it and then exhale on the floor and then I usually roll my shoulders, roll my neck and if I needed one more time, we can do it again. I'm gonna start cracking bones. So y'all how you feeling? Do you

want to do one more time breathing. Okay, one more inhale on the four account, hold it and an exhale on the four acount and then roll it out. This is reminding me that I need to give my life together. I need to get back my consistent meditation. Yes, so do I, girl, I need to get mine together. I'm not consistent either. That's the beauty of it all. You can do it. We always have tomorrow, God willing. So amen to that, Latia. If people want to reach out to you, go one on one with you, listen to

your podcast, where can they find you? Okay? So my Instagram is the dot analog Girl. Um My Twitter is the Underscore Analog Girl, or you can go to my website at the analog Girl dot com. Why is the analog Well because I'm a nineties girl and I loved analog world, right and you know Eric bad said analog girl in the digital world, and so analog is like my foundation, my calm, my piece. You know, digital world is so fast paced, make you so anxious, and analog

just calms you out zend out. That's how Yeah, this is like my favorite conversation of all time. Thank you, thank you so much, and I love being on your show. I'm so honored that you that you asked me. When I saw I was like grateful you said yes because you were dropping Jim's left and right. I'll be applying a lot of this too, so I so appreciate you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Happy didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you? Did I not tell you? I told you you don't want to listen, But I told

you and that was the truth. And now you know you can trust me. LaToya is amazing special. Thank you again to her for sharing her story and being so vulnerable and honest and real. Make sure y'all hit her up. And if you feel like that's something that you're struggling with when it comes to anxiety, and you feel like you would love the support that her network provides, go check it out, Go go sliding the d M s

or hit her up or check out our podcast. Okay, now, before we head out, I want to share with you and iune interview from a lovely listener anger Barren shot. I'm sorry if I mispronounced it, but she says, best podcast for the modern woman. I love this new Zuri Venture. Always been a big fan since her early e days and single ladies YouTube video, and she brings her spirit

and bright sparkle to this too. I love the great topics, which are not the typical light fluff often heard another podcasts, but real life issues and life decisions and no, it's not boring or tough to get through. Zuri makes it so fun and relatable by incorporating her own experiences and struggles into adulthood. Highly recommended. Thank you so much love for taking the time to leave a review. I appreciate it. I'm so glad you're enjoying it, UM, and a reminder

to you listening that leaving a review on it. This is free, It's easy. It's the quickest way to support Hot Happy Mess. So if you like what you hear and you want to keep hearing it to be straight up, oh grab, then I'm an easily review I'm just kidding. I don't need it, no pressure, but I would appreciate it. And it does show, UM, show that people are vibing with Hot Happy Mess and what we're creating here. The community is growing, the podcast is growing, and that just

warms my heart, makes me feel so good. I love reading all of your messages. I see all of your comments. Um, so hit me up. Um, if you want to leave a review, you can do that. Go to Apple podcast type and Hot Happy Mess Girl down and write the review. Slide in my d M s at Zuri hall z u r I h A L l or at Hot Happy mess Um. I love to talk to y'all. I see everything, even if I don't have time to respond to everything, and I love getting your messages. So shoot me one. Yeah. Oh, and can you do me a

huge favor, super fast, super easy. If you could just like tell a friend or tell your mama, tweet your mutuals, tell them to listen to Hot Happy mess Okay, if you could just share us on Instagram, Facebook spam maybe not spam Loki spam um, and just tell the people that they should be getting their hot Happy mess on and takasan social you would be a real one. And I want to repost you and all of your love. So that's it for me this week. Come back next

week when we are getting into another wellness conversation. We are talking about it all, y'all. Astrology, horror scopes. I'm a Gemini in case you cann't tell meditation any Grahams all of the things, and if there's something you think we should dive into this series or that you think will be fun to talk about. Let me know. If you feel like you're a real woman with a real story and you want to be on the podcast. Let me know. If you feel like you know somebody who

should be that woman, let me know. The theme is let me know, all right, I'll see you all next week. In the meantime, stay blessed. I'm sending love and light and I'll talk to you next week. Bye bye, bye, bye bye.