Wanting everybody as J n V. Charlemagne to God, we ought to breakfast club.
If you're just joining us with celebrating the twentieth anniversary of wilding Out.
You could take your headphones off. Guys, you can take you headphones, take their headphones off. I'm sorry, I shouldn't tell you.
That, something like we're like no head yeah, sorry, Yeah, that's our first day.
But we're celebrating the twentieth anniversary of wilding Out and we have b some moaning Justina Valentine this morning.
Yes, and we're asking eight hundred.
Five eighty five five one? Can men show weakness? Can they show vulnerability? Can they be open and free with their feelings without looking like a suck up some time?
M cand But is it worth it?
It's probably not.
It is worth it if you do it the right way. Talk to us.
You can't do it. First of all, the Internet is never going to be a place where hundreds and thousands of people aren't going to attack somebody and have opinions.
That's right.
So at the end of the day, if I'm putting something on the Internet, I have to know that that's going to happen.
Yeah, and you have to be fine with you. But I know one thing for sure, And do you think for certain my man better let me bust it open our break or whomever like he better not say nothing about forget.
I mean, why do you why do y'all think a man should just be okay with that?
I love you, You're my woman.
If I've committed to you in that way, like say, like they were married, you know, we got children together. Why can't my feelings be hurt if I see you busting it open on anybody?
I think it can be if she's not like in the entertainment space. But again, Kiki is an entertainer. She had eyes on her. This is why Usher picked her out of the crowd to dance with her, because she is who she is. So that's why I think she gets a free passage.
She has a baby relationship, She didn't bang them.
She just like what y'all do, That it's all entertainment thing is not a valid excuse.
And guess what well then I need in.
This industry, we used to take our we were told not to wear all wedding rings and then act like we weren't married back in the day, back and the yeah, don't you think that wouldn't hurt wife's feelings.
Partner, if you really what's upset about that, That's something you should know about your partner before you get in front of usher.
That's true, But I want.
To take it out of the US and Kiki thing. I just want to say, man, we got so many men in therapy, so many men doing the work. But men always get so much flak for not expressing their emotions, not expressing their feelings. But when they do, they get called him to kill suckers and punks, and you know that he's not on her level. He's jealous of her successful. How about some men are just in love and trying to figure it.
Out, they be jealous so too.
Especially like No, I'm just saying like it could it could be, and it.
Could be a little bit of both.
It could be a little bit of jealousness and a little bit because you love.
It, being a little jealous of me.
Yeah, my feelings because you're buzzing it open on somebody else. See.
But the thing is, if you guys had men and you broke up with your man and you put on Instagram or social media, I broke up with my man. I'm not feeling good, it's not right. Y'all wouldn't get hateful comments. You would get a lot of people support.
It's gonna be okay.
Now if me and Charlamagne put on there. I just broke up with my man.
Man, and we know if double standards for everything.
But when women express their emotions and feelings, we're told we should listen, regardless of where they expressed them.
But when men do.
It, we suckers and we secure that's not right, man, and y'all gonna make it the way. Men aren' gonna want to ePRESS their emotions publicly, and that's dangerous because men expressing themselves publicly is how other.
Men will learn how to publicly express their emotions.
We even look at look my situation in my book. I wrote a book about me and my wife's relationship. We've been together twenty nine years, thirty years, and I talked about and early on I couldn't make an orgasm.
I didn't know.
We were sixteen and fifteen. There were memes they made fun of me, but it was me expressing how I was. Now, if I was a very sensitive person, which I am, I would be like when I write the next one, I'm like, I ain't putting no one else out there because me trying to express myself open the door. Because there was so many men that showed the same way and it went through the same thing, but they were scared to say.
That what he's trying to get sympathy right now. Nobody shamed him because he expressed it, you know, his emotions shamed because he ain't know how to work the middle. That's why it's a lot of guys for years what we were shaming you for.
But if you don't know, you can't fix it. You didn't know right exactly.
It was sixteen when when I was she was at least taking it, she was at least facings.
Guess how it came out. It was sixteen. But I used to watch porn, so I thought sex was bang bang bang bang bang. Sure, but you had to learn. It was nobody to tell me or teach me.
So yes, I did it so people could learn and have those conversations.
Everybody read that book was like, I've been making women orgas. Okay, you the one that ain't your making fun of me.
This year, so you ain't the only one that ain't doing nothing in the bedroom I'm thirty three and had my first organs.
Yeah, that's that's crazy, Like you weren't having sex with one person for ten years?
Yeah, you know what I Yeah, she was.
Having an orgasm with my mouth, not with my penis. That's the thing I was.
Gonna say, she really love you though, because she's still by your side with no orgasms from sex and wanted to make you feel good like she was so she you know, but that's really.
No, It's like she's she's a real right to speak up.
It's not the main its fault if you don't know, if you ain't telling them nothing to me, telling.
This lie about how he was making her do it with his mouth?
Did she was on you? Bro says And the first thing I am not cling.
I love the fact that you expressed your fieling have nothing to do with woman all gathered years. That's what we're talking about. We're not talking about you expressing your feeling No, I'm not expressing not one time I said you wrong for expressing your feelings wrong, but not making the difference.
The first time she actually really orgasm was She's like, oh my gosh, babe, I've been lying for a decade like did she bug out?
Like?
What was that?
Like? Right?
It's in the book. Let me read the books. Period.
All of the moral of the story is we got to stop shaming men for expressing themselves. The middle of the we made so much toxic behavior public. We have to make the positive healing behavior public too. And y'all gonna make it the way Minfield like it's not worthing to express himself because of how y'all react to.
And I guess what more men step up?
Like there should be more men on the internet really supporting this brother in this time. If that's what y'all believe.
I do.
We don't need did we get we get shamed for that against she's a mom. I don't care what outing she was me.
Yeah, I don't care about any of that. I care about man. This man, if his feelings are hurt, he should be able to.
Express gentleman, lady, what's up, brother? What's your thoughts? Man?
That's just how this world is.
Man.
They expect a man to shut up, be quiet, produce, don't have no feelings, don't show no hurt. I work in the criminal courts. Right now, there's the case a brother was losing custody of his child and let's just stay right now. You gotta do eighteen years in prisony because nobody would listen to him. Nobody expects, oh, why is a man you want to see your child so much?
But he ended up calling doing violence to the young lady.
Exactly so Avenue. He was calling his friend every night crying. Ye, nobody else would listen to him. This man was in a lot of thames. He just wants you to shut up. Imagine seeing your woman on stage dressed like that.
I don't care about that.
Something inappropriate. What's the man supposed to do? React after he told it to come out dress like that?
He told me, I don't know, but this is what I do.
This is also Keky Palmer, very famous, very talented entertainer. She's not just you know, someone who went out that night to go like get a freaking with guys like she is who she is. I think we're forgetting that point.
That's a very for forgetting. Oh that's why.
That's what he was expressing in that interview when he was saying how he always fucked. He had the need to be perfect because she's Keky Palmer, and he felt that she would always be perfect because she's so.
Let me ask you a question.
All the allowances that men are afforded, who are famous, who are are females not afforded.
Those the same allowances?
Because men that have, you know, a long list of options and are famous, I feel like they get away with a lot more than just a normal do relationship.
They should. I don't think they should.
See the problem was was I don't necessarily think the problem was what happened.
I think it was this the phone, right, you think about it.
Men go to a strip club, they get lap dances, nobody knows, nobody sees. But now imagine your men and there's a video of your man getting a crazy lap dance and.
You feel the trails.
Yes, yeah, when that fudge leaves a little line, you be.
Mad because you've been publicly embarrassed.
Correct.
Yes, So it's really not about it's really you don't want people to know, because it's really you want to do everything behind closed doors and you don't want the internet to know.
I don't think.
I just think you shouldn't publicly embarrass your significant other. I think that grow publicly.
But why is it not embarrassing if it's about behind closed doors. But it's only embarrassing and people see it if it's truly who you are.
I think it's what do you mean when you say behind closed.
Like you said, if there's no cameras out and you could do it.
Oh, but then y'all two can have a conversation working.
It is easy to work.
And it's like if you and your man getting an argument at home, it's different. But now if you're in public, it's a lot different because now people don't know what you're arguing about is pressing.
Now you might feel a certain way.
Things that you might have forgave him for at home, you might not forgive him for if it's in the public.
And that's what the young man was wrong for.
The young man was wrong for. She was wrong for publicly embarrassing him with us. He was wrong for publicly ambassing Arou on social media. They could have just had a conversation about could show at home and nobody would have been the.
One's the sex and more calls eight hundred and five eight five one oh five to one Colin let us know what you think.
It's the breakfast l in the morning express their feelings.
Everybody's DJ Envy, Charlamagne the God. We are the Breakfast Club.
You know, it's the twentieth anniversary or the twentieth season of wild'n Out, and we have Justina Valentine and b Simoni Bizard And if you're just joining us, we're talking about men being able to express their feelings. Is it why when a man exp is this feeling, he's a sucker, he's he's he's a whim. But when women do it this, they get so much support. And I know you're about to see something. He was about to say something justin.
I was gonna say, did I not see the full clip?
Because the clip I saw was not that crazy, That's what I'm saying. Like if she had been bent over and usher was pulling her hair and just like you know, slamming her, I'll be like, Okay, it was a little crazy, but the clip I saw was not crazy at all.
Say this though, like, as a man, what you just said is probably what he saw in his mind.
Right, that's what.
Your wife, your girl, your baby mother, that's what you've seen. You didn't just see little dance you see.
That's what you said.
By the way, what's wrong with being insecure and what's wrong with me expressing that.
I'm insecure now?
Because the insecurity is going to express whether I stay on just tell my my behavior, you're gonna tell about certain language. All I'm saying is you gotta let men be able to express these emotions because if you don't, they're gonna keep them pent up inside. And we've all seen what with what that leads to that do nothing but toxic masculine.
My thing is express it. But then what is the solution? Like, if I'm insecure, we need to figure out how to get.
Work on that. If I'm judge with each other?
Right, But I think people just want to vent and express and then let's get to the root of it though we have to heal it and fix it.
But the whole thing is in a lot of relationships people they argue to win, right, and not argue to be on the same side, Like there's no winner.
If you win, I lose.
It.
Shouldn't be a winner or lose it, she'd be Let's resolve the.
Situation and move on, simple as that.
Well, we have Charlena on the phone. Are you named after Charlemagne?
No?
God, No, I'm just joking. I'm just joking, charlmona, what's your what'd you think? What's your thoughts?
Okay, Well, I feel like her baby father was very insecure about the whole scenario. I mean, if anything, you should have been uplifted her and proud of his woman because carry herself. She's healthy, she's living, she had the baby.
We missed.
We missing the whole point of the conversation. The whole point of the conversation is should men be able to express their feelings publicly without being shamed?
Express insecurity, that is his feelings.
My god't even consider feelings anymore. That men can't be insecure. We don't. We can't reserve the right to be insecure.
You know what, You can be insecure, but not at the expense of putting your woman down. So if he would have just said, my woman dancing with us or made me very insecure because of you know, legendary.
But he was of the part on the internet.
And like, and if she's really not cheating on him at all, which I don't think she is, it's like you also have to give her that grace, like, you know what, life she's living, she's coming home to you and she just.
Had a baby.
Looks damn good.
Like what you hear, what y'all just said.
And that's what I keep trying to trying to stress that is the conversation that should have been had. We know it was misplaced aggression. I know he didn't care about the mom thing in the outfit. We know his feelings was hurt. Why not teach that brother how to properly express his emotions.
That's what I'm saying. The solution therapy, somebody a professional to talk to this that like, if you go to relationship counseling, y'all need to sit down whatever you know, but get to the solution.
Don't just keep arguing tj yo.
What's up? Brother?
What's your thoughts?
Man? Man?
So my thought is to be able to express how you feel.
I mean, you know, we say, you know mental health is awareness, but you can't even say if you don't like something straight up un you you're keeping all that fighted up as a man that you lash out on your kids, if you las shout on your wife, how that works? Like it just ain't healthy. Like I'm waiting a young time right now. He turned five minutes. One thing I'm always.
Telling to hey, use your boy, if you if you don't.
Like something saying that's right, because the reality is we're going to get there, meaning that if you use your even if you don't say what you really mean, work like you said, I want to get to the root.
We're trying to do, get to the root to heal the problem.
All right, Well, we got a moral of the story.
Moral of the stories.
Men should be able to express their emotions and feelings without being shamedful, simple as that.
And women should be able to hold up.
As long as there not really like a whole, as long as it's just innocent hoeing.
It's a difference.
First, if you're a relationship, it was innocent, it wasn't.
You know.
That's the kind of crazy thuff Man used to say today women, for you, it was just innocent hoing.
I mean I was.
I was gonna get right back, all right. Twenty twenty three, when we come back, we got your room report. We got to talk about Tiffany Hattish.
If you're trying to shoot your shot at celebrities, well she's gonna give you some tips on how to do so we'll get to it.
Nexus to the breakfast club, be eating