THROWBACK: 2020

We got special guests in the building. She's in here with all this big queen energy. Ari A Lennox Welcome, Thank you so much. How you feel this morning? Horror pid All right, I'm just a little nervous, you only because he's just kidding. Yeah, but it's a little nervous. It's a very legendary show. So what took you so long to come up hitting beer beer? Yeah? What you scared of before? And yeah, I love we had to get to No, it's just you know, y'all can be

a little tough on people sometimes. Yeah, we've evolved, You've changed the whole lots. Yeah, and I feel that I feel that I want to if you don't mind, you know, for people that that don't know who Arilens is or where you're signed to or how you got your story. I want to start from the beginning for those people. Since this is you, you're here to do a documentary. Oh yeah, so you're signed to J Cole. How did you get into the music industry and signed to Cole? Well?

I was working at Public storage and just dropping music on SoundCloud and there's an amazing rapper named Omen. He loved my music. He told Eve and Cole about it, and he was like, we'll fly you out like tomorrow or tonight something like that so that you can meet Cole and the studio and stuff like that. And I was horrified. You know, I just got the job. I didn't want to lose the job. It was ten dollars an hour, you know what it meant. It was the

highest paid job I ever had an hour. Yeah, so I didn't want to like lose this, so I almost didn't go. But honestly, I think it was fear, you know, fear of flying and things like that. But I just I got over it. I drank Matt vodka and I got on that flight. I was the first flight as well, first flight in a long time, like years. Did you lose your job? Yeah? I did, and I was I was horrified and I started doing uber. First of all, what were you afraid? Why are you afraid of fly? Well?

I had a traumatic experience when I was young on a flight or or something. Yeah, well the engines went out and so yeah and so as yeah, so as we're about to land, he's basically telling us to brace for impact. And I was very young and just praying. But I don't remember having fear before that moment. But after that moment, I was just scared at trumble. Yeah, so absolutely. Now let's let's let's rewind. Now you lose your job and you become a looble driver. I can't

see you are h am I good driver? It depends. I'm very safe at driving, yes, but there are things that have happened where it's just like I could have been more a little bit more alert. Okay, where you Where was your star rating? My star rating? Oh? It started dropping like crazy, and and I don't, I don't. I don't know why. Some people thought I was driving too fast or one note I got was I was switching lanes too much. But I was trying to get them, man,

I don't know what Hell, yeah, I was public storage. No, I didn't have no big fancy you know, tell me. Um, it was just a nice flack interior and a big bowl of candy and drivers have candy. Yes, I did have much I would give because you know you can't trust. Did you play your own music? I did? No, not my I would never, I mean never never. No. Did you make conversation or were you quiet? I made some conversations sometimes. Um, three times people threw up in my car?

How does that work? Do they pay for it? Or they pay for it but it's nowhere near enough and then you lose like five days of work because your car stinks and you're traumatized. How long did you have the Uber job for? This is interesting. This is my longest job today. Uber. I probably did for like at least a year or something. Wow. Yeah, I guess the media didn't go well because you lost your job, but then you started driving Uber. No, the meeting went really well.

I just you know, I had to still make money. You know, they were still you know, taking their time with the idea of like signing me. It wasn't like an immediate This is my last uber question when you saw that. When you saw the episode of ventually, yo, we need to read with driving, did you say, oh I see me? Oh you know what? Okay, yeah, yeah she drove Insecure for wow, I feel like a loser.

I need to you know why I never watched Insecure because every time I would watch an episode, I would just get so sad about my life and how like sexy these men were and how I had no men. But but that's my choice. I feel like my choice. Maybe it is my choice. Could you could have a man, but it might not be the one. Some people are okay with settling and saying Okay, I don't want to be alone, and people make you feel like that, But the truth is just better to like wait till the

right person. Absolutely, I've definitely learned that like the hard way, so very like intentional particular about like who I want to share my time with. So I found myself alone on a lot, why not changing the mindset a little? Like you see the sexy man and you'd be like, I'm gonna have that one day. I'm gonna have a man like that for myself one day. I've been more adamant on like my standards. Absolutely, I do do that. Like I'm more like, yes, he has to be fine, Yes,

he has to have a nice job. Yes, he has to be good to me, an effective communicator, like I am, like, have his own place. He did have his own place. I am, you know, chanting those things with it. And my assistant loves you, Mercedes, Mercedes. So she sent me a couple of questions. One of the questions she said, you have a song called pof. She's single, by the way, right, because she says, have you tried the dating app pof?

And what you ever catfish? And then she goes, by the way, that dating site is terrible, Oh, so have you ever tried plenty of fish before? Absolutely? I met my first boyfriend on pof? Really his name is John. I don't know if I'll get in trouble for that, but yeah, I shouldn't have shouted name John is right, John, It's gonna be so lit when the thing of you come out. Got kicked up with some dating sites because

I didn't believe that it was you. Yeah, tender um, they didn't believe it was me, and I didn't want to blank my Instagram so that people would know it's me. And then maybe reach out to me for the wrong reasons. Secret rappers. This is fly, thank you. What is happening here? I think I need to step outside more. But I'm finally stepping outside and like meeting like nice, like you know, enjoyable individuals. Let's go back to John for a second. Why did you throw John back in the sea? Well?

John went to the military, and I felt like we were growing apart and the affection was lacking. He called me bro one and I was just like, you know what, I couldn't yeah, and it triggered me. But and I know it wasn't just bro like, it's it's fine, you can call me that. It's just I felt like our romance was kind of dissipating, and so I think that was just a triggering thing. And we had an argument. Now I was like, well, I guess we're not together anymore,

and that's kind of where to protect myself. Unfortunately I do that, and he was like, Okay, fine, we're not together anymore, and he was really serious, Well, his loss. How many songs is he inspired? Um? Probably Pope the EP and my album Shape, but her Baby that's literally greatly inspired by him. And I'm so grateful. Well was the first relationship I ever had. Yeah, we're cool. We

check on each other sometimes. I ain't get a credit shape well, I mean say when you just don't want to get back together and back I know women that swear by shape butter Baby, like they like that's like their their bible. So that's that's big of him. You John I inspired Shape shirts please. The free iHeart Radio app has over two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts to explode. Yes, this is the Breakfast Club thirty part of Sunday Night

podcast on iHeartRadio. We're still kicking it with Ari Lenox. So you've met a lot of guys like, well, you've dated guys and they've been secret rappers. I thought that was really funny. Oh when you dating somebody and then all of a sudden you find out later like your pastors to cold from me? Are you exactly? Oh my god, And it's the worst it happens. Like, but that's why I've learned with dating acts specific questions. Are you a

rapper recording? Do you play basketball? Specifically? Goodness, dude, that is hilarious. That's a plot for a movie or something. The girl thinks that the guy is cheating, but he's really sneaking off the recording escape exactly. And what did your mom and your family say when you're recording with Cole and going out there and recording, because a lot of times parents don't leading the industry, right, my dad never really knew what was going on in my life. Yeah,

I mean he knew. He was the one who always said you're gonna be something one day, Like he always said that, but like he was kind of always doing his own things, so he never really was seeing that I was how serious I was about music, which is why he was like, you should be a nurse, but really he wanted to be a nurse. And my mom was very calm, was just like forward, like happy for me, but yeah, very supportive. She never really knew this, like

how serious he said that. Your dad used to always tell you you're gonna be something, You're gonna be something. Is that put added pressure on a daughter with me? Wow? No, you know what? And it sucks because we were not even speaking right now. Ill what's going on? Okay, so

we're not even speaking right now. But I do feel like when you instill certain things like that, it goes a long way for sure, because um, that is the one area in my life where I feel like I did really good right now with you when your dad not now speaking, is it something small that you can call him like? Because life is it's so much so like it. Um, I really think it's important for like people to be healed when they're bringing kids into this

world because it's just like that alone. I feel like probably innately helped me in so many ways, like always grinding and like that. But um, I could also see the other like you know that I carry and it's, um, I'm sure it has to do with the others you know that you go through trauma. Well, let me let me tell you something I learned in therapy because the first time I had a breakthrough in therapy was literally

realizing all the daddy issues I had. Yeah, So when me and my dad had a conversation and I realized, damn, he was a human before he was my dad, and he had his own issues self distribus issues, dealing with mental health issues and he was just doing the best he could with what he had at the time. It

allowed me to give him a lot more grace. Yes, and I got to give our parents great I know, and I feel like there needs to be a lot of group therapy, absolutely, and of course I want to continue my therapy alone, but I think that would probably be best because I know these are things I'm even carrying into my dating life and I just don't want

to have that weight on me. And I do want to be more compassionate because he went through a lot, you know, with foster care and abandonment issues and all kinds of like dark things, So I do recognize why he is the way that he is. And you've been really open about going to therapy. When did you decide that that was something you wanted to do this year?

I was just tired of just being a big ball of like traumas, like just being unaware of like what was going on inside, and like, you know, a lot of times I could be so triggered and it's just like, well why, And now I'm realizing why somebody just pretending like I don't exist, or like not even looking at me, or like kind of having like this arrogant nature can be so triggering. Like where did I see that like earlier in my life or experience that, Like I'm starting

to realize it never stops. It's like a cycle. Like if you don't realize that you're carrying all of this way, it comes out in different ways and people be like, why she freaked out? It wasn't even that serious. It was a reminder. It was a flashback, probably a trigger without even realizing where it came from. There's always something in our childhood. Yeah, always something that happened in our childhood. And to bring you it happened to you an adult.

When it happened, you can triggered. You're like, oh, that's what that's why therapy is. Greg's like, oh, that's why I'm reacting, Like, because what happened here? Yes, and it's it's been really beautiful and like eye opening for sure. Are you healing those those childhood wounds? Oh? Definitely, I want to keep going deeper. This start is happening for sure.

And you said you see a lot of that in the relationships that you have now, Like what are some things and patterns Like I know you said you want to be more sympathetic, So what are some things that you feel like, Okay, I gotta work on this. Damn

Probably how I'm communicating. I'm a very anxious person, so basically instead of saying I've said this before, but instead of saying like nobody cares, like it's just about wealth, you know, I feel like this is how I'm feeling, like you know that I'm not being heard or you know what I'm saying. Like, I try to work on how I'm communicating because I get so kind of in my own anxiety and mess that I can kind of be a little insensitive sometimes. So I just want to

work on like that. And when it comes to performing and getting on stage, are you the type of person who gets nervous before that or does it all go away and that's where you feel most comfortable most times. I rarely get nervous like that nervous, but certain things like TV performances like I'm shaking, like it's just certain things. Or Jasmine Jasmine like at the when we performed at the BT Awards, like horrified, like I don't want to

let this legend down, like Jasmine Sullivan is everything. So yeah, question, when you get triggered by secret rappers, do you remember the struggle rapper who traumatized you? Oh? So many, so many yeah, gious people will never hear of. There's so many bright people we never hear of, like they just they won't say it until like you like them, and it's just like, oh, I'm about to go to the studio. Why like when whatever, they don't know who you are when they want to date you and act like, oh

my god, like hey, what what do you do? You know, and act like they're not sure who you are. Yeah, I've definitely been in a relationship where he acted like I was not who I am at all. That's ridiculous. Yeah, I was trying to feel appreciated. He kept trying to say it was just it's ego, like you know, it's not all about you type thing. But really I just felt like he always kind of diminished everything about me, you know, like kind of pretended like this singing part

didn't even exist. I hate people like that. Don't try to make me feel small because you're clue. Yeah, oh my god, oh my gosh, what I mean? You know what? I want to know what you know? What I mean people that try to make us feel small just because they haven't done what they wanted doing life. Yeah, I guess so. But now now him Jesus, but now you know, like I just my goal is just just a date

nice people. It's got to be hard though, because you're r linox now for you don't know who well, you don't know who likes you for you or who likes you because you're a superstar. Where you guys size the you know plenty of fish like where you meeting? Well, the other day I met a guy at the fashion show that was really nice and he was he was so fine, But the date is terrible? How do you what was the date? Dressing probably better than yours want

to dress? How do heki continue? How you're sitting there? He walks over, he acts security first while we were sitting in a seat, and he oh, dang, I don't want nobody to but yeah, she's sitting next to you, but I want tell you when you could stop? Now? Yeh, what was your He just he reached out and introduced himself in like shook hands and it was really cute and sweet. W was the first date the first day? I ain't gonna tell you where. It was a lovely restaurant,

it really was. But he was late. He was late to think his bad during fashion now he supposed to be he was. He was hanging out with Jacole and Um what it's able. No, that's what I'm saying that with Jacole my Day, the whole team is like stopped. It's just not my Heart Radio. For podcast Discovery, this is the Breakfast Club. Third we go your chance to hear the biggest trending podcast each week from the free I Heart Radio app. We're still kicking it with Ari

Lennox Charlagne. What was your intention with this album? The intention was just me showcasing dating, and it's entirety from I was trying to get away from dating, but used to bought us right back. I know it's all right, it's on subject for and it's where you all right, you know what a lot of people can relate to you. That's one of the main questions people ask, how do you find somebody like, somebody good, somebody nice? Do you think about marriage? Like? Are you dating with the intention

to get married? That's how you find somebody probably is how finding yourself really, and so that's really what I'm focused on. I got a little distracted with that recent date and then I was like, well, let me see what else is out here. But I think I'm gonna pull back into like myself and just kind of like, change my number and just focus on more beautiful books on trauma and just focus on me. I got a great one for you momenticum my grandmother's hands. Really. Yeah.

We also have a Marian I'm Bothered book in here? Wow? Is that about Trauma's adorable? Okay? Things? Oh no, no, no, I have to get the book back. No singers, no singers, no rapper. What about ball players you said earlier? Oh, if he played basketball, he doesn't mention that. Maybe a soccer player. Go with the money? At is that where the money? That's money yet real money yet soccer? Okay, I'm just saying we have intentions. That's all. Did you

finish your thought on the intentions of this album? The intention of the album is just making beautiful music that sounds like I'm in love based on crushes of people I've never even hung out with before, like mean mug and hoodie crushes on fine men that I never Yeah, then it gets to blocking YouTube, it gets blocking you, and That's where I'm at right now with it, like in real life. But yeah, it's just dating and the emotions and towards the end of the album, I'm definitely

more about like, Okay, it's time to protect my peace. Like, no one's gonna do that for me. And I find it irresponsible to be moving around in life with all of these unhealed you know, traumas and trying to you know, get to know people. So I just, you know, I want to check some things, some codependency things and anxiety. That's powerful. People fast, you about black people fast if

they ignore you, just black room, I do. Like one time, I felt that there was distance happening, and I was like, hey, can we talk. I feel like something is changing. He was like, I thought we were good. I thought everything was good. Um, you know what, I just need to get something to eat. I'm gonna call you right back. And so I got on the phone my dad and me and my dad talked for like two hours and I didn't hear from the guy. I'm looking at my

phone like wow, like and so I blocked him. After that, that was it. We spoke one time since then. I'm sure for some reason, I'm attracting avoidant people who don't know how to communicate. Well, you're probably attracting what you are. That's why what you said about you know, healing your own trauma before you get into another situation. It's so

important that right there, that's better than money. You know how we are you know about to say, you know how we always say you need a man with money, but did you you know, you know, but you really want a man that is doing the work like you're doing the work every I got so many home girls to say, I can't date a man if they're not in therapy, they're not trying to heal. Wow, that's what I would want for myself, a secure individual and or someone who's striving to be secure and healing as well

as I am healing and trying to heal. I wanted to ask you what did you think, because you know you are one of the leaders of this new R and B era, what did you think of did these comments that R and B is dead? I thought it was dismissive to all of the amazing legendary artists that have been in the game and that are also contributing. I mean, from Mary J. Blige to Jasmine Sullivan to Summer Walker, to Lame to Money Long Van Jest, Lucky Day, Lucky Day, Aaron Ray. There's so many of us. T

Nariel Brent, Fiz Jalen Jossi her her. Yes, yes, let's you know, Sissa, like everyone is still killing it and dropping music. And it was dismissive just because I don't know think. Yeah, Tank exactly amazing. Yeah, I don't know why he said that it was not nice, but I do love all that he's contributed to music, So it's no shade. But it's like being more nice to the people that are really you know, we're out here still

stop it. Right off the wonder when you was young trying to get on, what did you think the industry would be like? And what have you realized? You know it really is. But I think it was gonna be like I don't remember. I just knew. I just I saw baw Wau up there and Joe Joe, and I just wanted to be like them, like when I was young. Um, what do I think? I don't know what I thought. Like, maybe I thought there was gonna be like a lot of like devil people illuminatis. I haven't seen yet to

see that. I thought there would be a lot of cocaine. Yet I've yet to see the everthing I've never seen it before, sacrifice a family member or something. I don't want to think I've ever seen before either. No, yeah, exactly. I've been offered it, but I've never seen it. It was never been offered, I don't believe, or have offered it twice in my life. But they didn't like have it in their hand. Wow, They were like, do you party? Yeah, then I have been offered it before then well yeah,

no bad through room. Yes that's what that meant. Oh my god, you've been off a cocaine. I haven't offered cocaine. Say, all your friends are in the little knot. We do appreciate you, we appreciate your music. And you know, I was kind of hurt when you said you don't want to do interviews anymore. I was like, don't let one bad interaction with somebody mess up somebody else, you know. And I'm glad you're over that, and I'm glad you're

doing interviews again. Thank you. I want people to understand that was just a part of my anxious nature of like what I met earlier, when I was just like nobody cares. I kind of worst case scenario and jumped to like the extreme. I'm kind of black and white with things especially. Yeah, and I definitely didn't mean that I was just so heartbroken by the fact that he would release something that we didn't agree on him releasing,

and I just kind of felt ambushed, you know. So, yeah, let's get into a record off that what you want to hear? Oh? I guess boy bye, because that's the real sexy record. I love Lucky Days. Awesome. I can't wait to see you on TV and movies too. I see that in your future as well. That's so sweet. Yeah, we need to get with Sean de Rymes and do this a mini series, how to Get Away with Rapping? Oh my god, struggle rapping, brilliant little thriller. Yes, our athletics,

Thank you for joining us. It wasn't that bad. It was beautiful Dada's energy. Wow. And we prayed before we came talk are you talking? Why you talk? Yeah? Why do you talk so much? Because I love you the piece? No, nothing day, you talk too much? You guys? This about at about So we prayed together as a family. What are you talking about? God? We said an intention before

the interview. That's what we did. Ye radio felt that they don't ever date a radio personal located I promise I won't, Okay, I won't really that's all you want to go to. No more, you can't do that. Let's payola. Yeah, I don't want that. Playing are so much two hundred It's a Lynx is the Breakfast Club i al Radio Sunday Night podcast. Listen every week as we play a different podcast, one of the most shared and most listened

to in the free I Heart Radio app. This is where you'll hear the podcast people will be talking about this week. Here all the episodes of the Breakfast Club thirty and over two hundred and fifty thousand others by downloading the free I Heart Radio app.