This Weeks Best Of The Breakfast Club

a special guest in the building never matter before. She's an actress, she's an author, she's a mom. Ladies and gentlemen, is your wife my wife? Yes? Gel Hello, welcome? Yeah? What that's this one name? She's like Madonna beyond Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. How nervous are you, sir? Seriously? I know he's been actually real weird. You guys have a book out, Real Life, Real Love Life, Lesson to Enjoy Pain and the magic

that holds us together. And I've been dying to ask you this question gear in person or board room, do you feel about and be flirting with each other every day? Um? Kind of turns me on and expect that answer Okay, explain No, I mean, I mean, I think it's a little strange, but I'm amused by it. Does anything go too far? Ever? Or no? It's all in good fun

and enter all it is. I don't mind it, So you didn't mind it when he gave me the ass first of all, contact everybody doesn't watch the show every day. Context Please, Okay, what can you guys sound by that? When he gave me a mold of his ass and it wasn't my ass, It was a molde of a ass. Yes, I thought it was the mold of your actual No. No, And then what about when they touch each other and stuff that's never happened. We don't touch me, don't spy.

You've never seen them. That hasn't happened. You want to tell me something I need to know now. They like rub up brush against each other. If they're walking out the door, go tring to rub up against each other. We don't have to do it. They're going toolving door together. That happened one time. Explain that now I need to answer. It was stupid. I don't even know how that happen. Really, it was really stupid. It was really that it had to be very intentional. It wasn't. I don't even know how.

And then one makes his way around was so stupid, and giggle because it was so stupid. Giggle all the way through it, you guys, you added, insulted. You're sitting there in the one slot giggling together. Oh man. Anyway, back to the matter at hand, real life, real love? What is that magic that holds y'all together? You think? How you know? Um? Whenever I find that people come to our house or are around us, I think they're

kind of surprised how much fun we have together. I find him to be very charming and Charismaticum, And one of the things that I love most about him is his boyish nature. So we really have a lot of fun together, and we always had since we first met. The first week we spent together, I thought to myself, Wow, he's a lot of fun. Like he's he's like a friend, you know, And that's part of the magic. You knew that this was the person you can spend the rest

of your life with after about two weeks of knowing him. Yes,

he knew before you even spent a day together. Explain before before we even spent a day together, that one when I first when I first seen you, I mean I wrote in a book that I thought you were beautiful and amazing in the first time I saw you were actually running track and for people I don't know, you know, tracks, paying track like that outfit and you know Gia had, you know, big double d's, And I would stop basically stalker outside and just watch a run

track and watch a breast bottle like that word don't say stalk, you know what it's stalking, But that's actually what he was doing was it was actually stalking. And I would see him. I would see him the bidding with his friends in this bright blue con Edison van because that's what his parents bought him to trans to transfer his DJ equipment from Sweet sixteen to Sweet sixteen at the time. And I would see it parked behind the fence some thinking to myself, like, yo, why is

this van there? Every day it tried cracked. Yeah, it was bright blue. He wasn't low, he was not low. And then one day he emerged. Actually, babe, do you remember one day he emerged from the van and approached me and kicked it and I was like, oh, so you're that weirdough we both kids. Yeah, she was fifteen, I was sixteen. We went to the same high school. So so and but you say that you knew that she was going to be your wife, like right away?

You think it was before y'all even spoke was stalking her? We actually know when we actually spoke, and you know, I found out how you know, beautiful she was inside and outside, and how smart she was and caring and she was just that she was the one. She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life and the most precious things. So I was like, this

is going to be my wife. I want people to get the book, but I do want, you know, to explain how do you keep reinventing the relationship when you start that young? Now interviews fifty something, you know what I mean, you're much much younger, But how how do you keep how do you reinvent? How do you keep reinventing? And I think that that's part of the magic. We don't have to try. We don't intentionally. We do a lot of things intentionally and deliberately, but we don't intentionally

reimagine the relationship and act on that. The only thing that I would say that where um good about is keeping it sexy and making sure that that part of our relationship doesn't get too monotonous and doesn't get stale. So we have a lot of fun in that space. Um, but we don't have to think of, God, how am I gonna stop being bored of you? Or how am I going to get to a point where you don't

annoy me anymore? He legitimately does not annoy me. I look forward to his phone calls every day, and we probably speak on the phone about maybe eight or nine ten times a day because he's away a lot, you know. So he calls me on his way to the breakfast club, He calls man his way home from the breakfast club, He calls me. If something happens, he calls me incessantly. It's and I'm never like oh you again, I'm like

him again. You know. It's just that feeling that I've always had that no matter what ups or downs we were going through, that never left me. Now, he tell this a story about the cowboy outfit. Told you about that? Yeah wait, wait wait the cowboy outfit in college, the assss chats, that ass chat they were Yeah, you tell this about Oh wait, did you actually tell me like on error and private he did, because if it was in private, this is a whole double cross, right, he

jested as the cowboy and his he had. Remember that day, Okay, I remember that, digga. After he told the story, he goes, not like what he did when we were in college. Yeah, we went through a stage where we were doing like a lot of role play. Yeah, and one night I dared him to be a cowboy. So we went and got the cowboy half. It had like the big brown hat, and then he had like the little holsters and everything, and babe, do you remember I took pictures? Where are those?

Are they in the book? He about maybe um three years after he made me physically burn them on the grill. Wow, he put them on the grill and told me how to light it. Yeah, they don't exist. Don't you wish you still had that? No, but y'all talk about role play in the book. You said he likes to put on the rock Nation paper plane hat and he goes, what's my name? And he wants you to say jiggle. I didn't contribute to that chapter. Okay, that wasn't my work. No,

I didn't do it. Okay, So wait, they really so he wasn't lying. They were asked with chaps. Yeah, yeah, he had a whole. It was a whole thing. I just well the Uaugia. He did not tell us that. Damn it to hell. Get my book and you will learn a slew of tactics what you want out of life. Okay, it was a holster by the way, they were holsters. It was a whole, but it was some other dressed

up things. You go right, Um, it was more so me, okay dressing up and he was just like the recipient of that that that was a one little and that's why it was a dare because it was kind of supposed to be a joke. But he never really dressed up one time I was he was a doctor. That was once. Did you really burn the pictures? I really did really in front of him. Wow, you didn't have negatives? Were going to share that they never goes left in

a relationship. I had that I will ruin his entire reputation, I will never be able to work again, and I question them over to a new audience. The free IHR radio app has over two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts to explode. Yes, this is the Breakfast Club, third part of Sunday Night podcast on iHeartRadio. We got a special guest staling to building my wife, Gea Casey. We're talking about our new book, Real Life, Real Love Life Lessons on Joy, Pain and the Magic that holds Us Together.

You could pick it up today, or you can get it on an audible and kin do it or wherever you get your books. Yee, how is if it both of you writing his book together. Some of it was fun, It was nice to be creative and get your thoughts down on paper. It was work, but a lot of it was difficult. I'm a very open person. Rashawn I think had a difficult time because he had to relive a lot of the negative things that transpired in our relationship.

And he can tend to be surface in some respects where you ask him a question, he gives you an answer. I'm a lot more of an in depth person, you know. I think critically about things, and when we would go over these chapters that he's assigned to write, I would ask him questions like, Okay, you can't just answer it with a yes or a no or a full blanket like one question would mean ten more questions. To really

get to the meet. And you know, I had to keep reiterating, we're writing this book so that people have something tangible, a reference point for them to make changes in their lives if necessary, or to recognize that the person that you're with needs to make changes in their lives. And it was a journey. It was a journey, but I think it was difficult. For it was difficult. I had to relive a lot of the the f boyish

I put you through. And you don't you forget about a lot of it because you don't have to relive it. But then when you start, no, you forget about forget I forget nothing at the point though, right, because it's like, we don't realize how much we do hurt? Are women? Yeah? I think so? I don't think we realize how deep that.

That sounds like an oaky doke to me. No, I don't think we Until you actually sit down and have those you know, uncomfortable conversations, you don't realize how much you your wife cheated on you and told you that she would have no idea, Yeah, how much that it stood to hurt you? Would that make sense to you? Probably not? But I mean men don't make sense. You believe that you believe that you're born inherently with like a deficit, not a deficit. But I just don't think.

I don't think. I don't think we're thinking about it, you know what I mean, Like we like that's the sad part. It's selfish and that's what keeps that's what keeps you from doing it in the future, you know what I mean, because you do not want to hurt the woman that you love. And it's so crazy because I saw that with my pops, Like I saw the pain that that caused my mom with his infidelity. So in my mind, I was like, damn, I'm about to

do make the same mistake. So I think it is difficult when you got to relive it because you don't want to talk about it because you don't want to trigger you. You know, some people if I don't get triggered though, man, but that scared me. Sity. No. Once I got to a point, and it was a process. Once I got to a point where um, I accepted that it was my job job to move on because I decided to forgive him, and because because he had done all of the work and then some to regain

my trust to earn grace from me. I got to a point where I no longer wanted to punish and I didn't have that inherent need to see him suffer. Because when you hurt, and you say it all the time, hurt people, hurt people. When you're hurt, you want not just people, you want the person that hurt you to hurt. And any time that I felt any type of way, I made sure that he felt some type of way.

So once I learned how to forgive, and that was a process because I wasn't necessarily a forgiving person before everything was very black and white to me, not very much gray. But once I learned and I understood that that's what was expected from me of God, I had to commit to that and do my best to live up to what forgiveness meant. And that's what set free Because when you forgive, you don't forgive to ease the burden from the other person. You forgive to ease the

burden from you. Well, the work you guys did together, like you had to work on forgiveness and when you said Okay, I'm gonna you know, have to move on from this. But what was the work that he did that. Let you know, Okay, he's serious, and you know I can finally just say I'm not getting triggered anymore. I'm gonna let this go. One of the first things was I realized that he understood the impact of what had happened,

what he did, He understood it. He didn't just accept it and was accountable for it, but he actually understood. He would do things that a lot of men wouldn't do. He would sit there through those eight hour conversations locked in a room. He answered every question that I had, and I had a lot of questions, and he answered them all truthfully. And you know when you asked somebody a question and you can tell by their answer, because I mean, the answers weren't pretty. There weren't things that

I would have wanted to hear. He went through all of the sufferation, as I call it, and he did it until because a lot of guys when they mess up, and I mean a lot of them have told me. I have friends and that have gone through it. It's like, listen, I did it. I apologize, I said I was never going to do it again. I mean that ish, But it's like every day I'm being punished. I'm being punished, I'm being remindeds like let it go, I apologize, Like what more do you want from me? Blood? He never

took that approach with me. It was the until, until you are good, until you are healed. If I have to be a punching bag, I will be that. If I have to be a doormat, I will be that. I will do anything that it makes to survive this because I cannot be without you. And he proved it every single day. It was as though and he was like this before, but it was even more so during this time. It was as though he communicated to me that the only thing that he wanted was to make

me happy. And that's pretty much how he lives his life. He lives his life every day waking up thinking like, damn, how can I make gars life easier today? How can I make Gia happier today? But to answer your question, it was the until. It was the indefinite, and it was the willingness to do any and everything to earn what he lost back. And he was there ever a question in your mind. I know there was a point when you thought, no matter what I do, she's never

gonna take me back. There ever a time when you were like, I'm gonna come over and huge him. Let you know, you him back if you cried in front of your wife, catch that little field. At that point, I just, you know, I didn't know what was going to happen, but I was like, I have to be honest or at least get my friend back, you know. Um And at that point, I you know, I didn't know what Gear was gonna do. I thought it was a rap, but I was like, I still wanted my friend.

I still wanted somebody I can talk to, you know, I still wanted in a relationship. Whether that we can bounce me like that. She's all I knew since I was sixteen. So I still wanted my friend back. And she's that could have been forever beef. But you know, it's interesting that you didn't kick him out of the house. You were still polite to him, You still wanted to

maintain a co parenting friendship. I feel like that hurts more when you're like, we're not having sex and I might end up with somebody else one day, but you know we're cool. That hurts more that I think sometimes in just completely like being nasty to somebody and cutting them off. Yes, well, when I found out divorce was imminent, it was never a question. I was raised by a very strong mother who taught me that if a man

ever disrespects you to that degree, then you walk. So it didn't matter how much I loved with Sean and how much I would have missed him, and it didn't matter if I cried every night. It did not matter one iota how I felt. The Only thing that was important to me was that I operated with my head and not my heart, and that I did what I always said that I was going to do. So when I found out, when it was confirmed for me, and you can read the book and see the entire no,

you want you to go, get the entire story. But when he confirmed it, we were in a parking lot, and when I drove away from that parking lot, it was a few days before Christmas and his mother was at the house helping me decorate because we were hosting that year. But I walked into the house and I

told her, I said, Christmas is canceled. And she said Christmas is canceled, and I said, well, I just found out that Rashwan cheated on me, and We're getting a divorce, so there's not gonna be any Christmas this year, at least I'm not hosting. It's wild that people actually canceled Christmas. I thought that was just a figures fee. No, no, if this happened, we canceled Christmas Chas, Yeah, Christmas well in the sense of us hosting. And I wasn't going

to cancel it for our children. But you know, we didn't have to decorate for thirty people to come over. And my lovely mother in law, my mama, she defended her beautiful son with everything that she could because pretty much, and when she said something to that effect, I said, but for the fact that he just told me that it was true. And he came home maybe twenty or thirty minutes later, and it was a whole thing, right. But I was adamant that we were getting a divorce.

That contacted an attorney, paid an attorney. It was decided. But thankfully, there were a whole host of things that happened that that convinced me that God had other plans. I Heart Radio for podcast Discovery. This is the Breakfast Club thirty your chance to hear the biggest trending podcast each week from the Free iHeartRadio app. We're here talking about our new book, Real Life, Real Love. What did

God say to you? You know, I wasn't raised with this um deeply instilled faith where I felt as though I knew God and I lived differently because I didn't know God in that way. So when God revealed himself to me, and he may have tried for years, you see, but I wouldn't have I didn't speak his language. I would have never been able to interpret God trying to reach out to me. So I really believe that this happened so that me, particularly not even Rashawn, so that

I could be humbled. When God spoke, he spoke through other people, and when he found when I found out what happened. It's funny we were being approached for reality shows at the time, and when he took someone's terrible advice to apologize to me on the radio and make our personal woes private. Yeah, our personal woes Publicum. I didn't know though. I didn't know what he was going through. He just be he'd be laying on the I didn't know what he'd be like out of it. I'm like, yo,

what the is your problem? I didn't know what it was. So as I'm priding him, like, what the hell is going on? I didn't know that was coming. Oh okay, yeah, I didn't know that was the one he apologized. You didn't know what apologize. He would literally come in here and be like laid out on the floor in the fetal position the whole show, Like he would not be here with us, he wouldn't be present, and I just

knew something was wrong. Apologize. I'm like, no. I was like, when he gets on the air, I'm gonna ask him on the air with the because his problem, and I was tired of asking him behind the scenes, and so I asked him on the air. I didn't know that was coming. Though. It was a terrible idea, But maybe it was the same dose of common sense that you guys are talking about. Men the same thing anyway, man

think differently. Yes, But when it was made public, my one of my best friends, his name is Rashid, he's the husband of my other best friend, her name is Sasha. He called to see if what he had heard was true because he thought that maybe it was just something being drummed up because we're supposed to be on a reality show or something like that. And when he called, I said, no, everything that you heard is absolutely true.

It's it's a terrible story. Um as you said. You know, Rashaw was circling the dream at that time, and Rashid decided to come to New York from California because he lives in LA. But we had a very a horrible event happened at our home and you can read about it in the BOVESI didn't like me Rush, you know, he always thought our relationship with toxic, which you were too controlling. He thought I was too controlling, which I

was at times, but so he didn't like me. So the fact that he flew in to try to save this relationship meant a lot, because he already didn't like me. I thought, he said, Taris saved alationship. Well, well, what happened was he flew in and I didn't want him there because our marriage was ending and I just wanted to be by myself. But he insisted. He said, I'm pulling into I'm applying into New York New York International Airport at such and such a time. Come get me.

I went, and I got him, and that was the start of the biggest change that we needed to go to go through. He came to our house and I said, why are you here? And he said, God sent me here. I said, of all people, you, you're the only person in our lives that didn't champion our marriage. You're the only one that ever told me that maybe he's not the right person for me. Why you, he said, Gia, I don't know. I've been praying since I got a

phone with you. After that terrible thing happened, and I walked into my boss's office, told him I had to take a leave of absence, went home, packed a bag, and got on a plane and headed here. And it's only through the assignment of God. God spoke to me. I said, so, what does that mean? Like, are you hearing voices? Like, what do you mean God spoke to you? And he said to me, when God speaks to you, it's as though he puts an overwhelming feeling on your heart.

And when he tells you to do something, you don't ask me questions, You just do it. I said, okay, well, basically I'm have to wrap my mind around that because I didn't have the tools to really understand that. And he stayed with us for about maybe ten twelve days, and he taught us a lot about God and faith and spirituality and what his assignment was. And he brought in his past or. Her name is Sister Nancy. She

had the same feedback from God when she prayed. And this was all new to me, and I was actually very angry because now I have people in my life that I respect and love that are telling me that I have to stay in a relationship that I'm adamant on getting out of. And it was very, very heavy. I can't describe to you how heavy it was and how insistent he was in his assurance of what God communicated to him in the fast. Tyrese same thing I

didn't know. You know, we knew Tyres for coming up here do an interview, but I didn't know tyresead I have his number. He didn't have a new song. But when he heard me on a radio that day, he called and wanted to speak to Gia, and you can read in the book because he got us together, but he said the exact same thing, like Tires and Rashid was speaking to each other, and it was kind of like those two were the ones to really save my marriage. And they didn't know it to the Ngia. You had

asked for a sign. Well, that was the thing, because I was so angered by what I was hearing, like, Oh, I was a victim being cheated on, now being victimized again by God telling me that I have to stay

in a relationship that I'm adamant about leaving. I don't understand this, and I was and I'm not a big crier, but um, one day I was taking a shower and I began to cry, and I began to pray in the way that I was learning how to pray, and I asked God for a sign that I can interpret for myself, so at least it would feel as though I was making my own decision, and a decision wasn't being made for me, so I I damn near begged

for a sign. And then shortly after Tyrese called Rashan and asked for him to set something up and we went to Philippe Chaw's. He came in with a backup singer and a guitarist. He performed Stay just for Rashan and I. Then he sat down for about four hours and we had a conversation and he tried to explain to me how a man can love you and still cheat at the same time, because I didn't really understand that. But at the end of the conversation I asked them,

I said, you know, why are you here. You don't even know if I'm a good person. You don't know if this relationship is even worth salvaging. Why would you do that? You didn't know, Rashan, you have no dog in this fight. You have nothing to gain or lose. You're supposed to be at a wedding somewhere else. You changed your flights to be here. Why, He said, God sent me here to do this. I said, what do you mean God sent you here to do this? He said,

God sent me. I said, are you hearing voices? He said no, and then he reiterated verbatim exactly what Rashid said to me in my kitchen that day. And I had to ask um, tires, I said, is that like in the Bible? Is that what you just said? Is that like a thing that people know? And he said no, I'm just telling you how I feel. Like, what do you mean? At that moment, I just like threw my hands up and I said, okay, And I looked at Rashawn and I said, I forgive you. I don't know

what that means. I will work on this with you. I don't know how long that will take. I will do what I'm now believing is required of me. But we're going to be in for a ride because I'm not really there. But I can commit to you in this moment because there is not that much coincidence in the world for what just happened. Thank God. Yes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to my wife too. I just feel like we got more with my wife's Gia Casey. When we come back. We're talking out new book that's out right now,

Real Life, Real Love. So don't go anywhere. It's to Breakfast Club. Good Morning. The free I Heart Radio app has over two hundred and fifty thousand podcasts to explore. Yes, this is the Breakfast Club thirty part of Sunday Night podcast on our Heart Radio. We got a special guest Steal in the building, my wife, Gia Casey. We're talking about our new book, Real Life, Real Love, Life Lessons on Joy, Pain and the Magic that holds Us Together.

You could pick it up today, or you can get it on an audible and kin do it or wherever you get your books. Yee. A lot of gems in this buck, you guys, I was thoroughly entertaining. Like I said, I look stressed. I think he's been nervous all morning before you got triggering conversation. The book is out today. Go get it, man. Make sure you pick it up. Real life, real love, getting today life lessons on joy, pain,

and the magic that holds us together. That's right, Amazon, Barns and Nobles, wherever you buy books, your local bookstores, please pick it up today. And when you do read it, or you read it, please, what we want you to do is we want you to tell us what you think about the book, whether it's a thirty second video tag, and now we want to repost it, whether you love it, whether you hate it. We're going to repost all of

them because we'd love to get you guys' feedback. And I think that y'all gonna help a lot of couples. And it's clear that y'all two are meant to be with each other, you know what I'm saying. One of my favorite chapters is called The New Deal, and it's pretty much about reparations that the offender has to make after offending their partner. And it's those things that will help to let to signal to your partner that you just may be worthy of forgiveness and being expended grace.

So what are those reparations? The first thing people will say, Oh, that's why he does the Twelve Days of Christmas. You know, that's right. A lot of people do say, But you know what's funny, and that's the funny thing. We've always done twelve Days of Christmas. We just never made it public. And it's not the type of thing that at first I ever wanted to make public because it is grand, but I decided to start posting it because it's not about the material items that he gives me for Christmas.

It's about the intention behind it. It's about the thought. You know, he starts shopping almost a year in advance for that, and every gift comes with something special, a little note, a little treasure hunt to find the gift, a prayer, a poem, something that is giving of his heart, not giving of his pocket. And that's why when you you know, you read the book and you hear y'all talk, that's why you understand why he got so upset at these and marrot. Correct. You know what I'm sayingcause y'all

relationship is so much deeper. Of course, you know, because with their comment, it almost to me suggests as though there's nothing else worthy about him that would signal me to stay aside from what he has to offer financially. And it's a joke, right, But we all know that all jokes are rooted in some truth, and that's what I think their truth was. Looking at it from an outsider, I wasn't some jackie completely and met somebody with money and was like, oh, come up. We ground it out

from day one. I was always there and supporting him and loving him. And if he failed and wound up being a secretary or anything followed another path, I would still be there. Yeah, I think a proctologist take it. Took a beat to get that. I just can't believe what are you talking. I'm just suggesting other career options that you're going to take it. I can't believe it. With me. What my wife had is like, you're disrespectful

real life. Really, thank you for having me, guys, that's right, pick it up today and uh it's the breakfast club, good morning. No, you gotta tell his guests, I love you before you sign off, Yes, yes, Casey, thank you for joining us. I love you. I love you way more to show. I Heart Radio Sunday Night Podcast Listen every week as we play a different podcast, one of the most shared and most listened to in the free I Heart Radio app. This is where you'll hear the

podcast people will be talking about this week. Here are all the episodes at the Breakfast Club thirty and over two hundred and fifty thousand others by downloading the free I Heart Radio app.