The Breakfast Club BEST OF - Self Help - Dr. Cheyenne Bryant, Wallo, Jay Shetty + More

Good morning, Usa yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo.

Jesse Hilarry asks that morning is Wednesday.

Happy in New Year's Now, today's show is all about self help. Charlamane got some special guests joining us today.

You always say guests the special. Who are these people?

Wilo, He's joining us today?

Very special, that's my guy, Jay Shetty yo Man, very very special.

Now you see you really talking about some special people.

And doctor sha Ye.

And Briant very special individuals.

All three of those people will help people in various ways. What I really love about all three of those individuals is their commitment to making sure that our people are emotionally and mentally healthy.

That's right, And we're gonna be talking to those three individuals next all throughout the show, so that don't go anywhere.

It's to breakfast club. Good morning, this is your time to get it off your chest.

Eight hundred five eight five one O five one. We want to hear from you on the Breakfast Club.

Hello, who's this.

Hey to me? Cause get it off your mama?

Okay, good morning. He did and be Charlsmagne. I'm a saying I just wanted to get off my chest to the fact that I did nothing. And now I'm broken up with the boyfriend that I've been once for three years because his girlfriend, his side girlfriend, thinks that I'm her stalker.

Wait a minute, his side girlfriend, did you lost the stalker?

M hm.

Explain this to me a little bit more now, So.

Okay, okay.

So I've been with this boy for like almost three years, okay, and when I came out of my relationship, he came out of his relationship for a long time, and he still wanted to explore and all that, and we didn't know what we was. So he told me like, oh, I'm talking to this one, I'm talking to that one and talking that one. So it's like, okay, whatever. So Tom had passed and he has started moving his stuff into my apartment and we started establishing and thinks I

Okay, Okay, I've heard enough. So you're not his only girl.

No, I'm not his only girl.

No, okay, So what are you calling her to ask?

But she's upset because she put him on insurance.

I wasn't asking anything.

Oh, you just you're just mad at yourself for being stupid. Hey, yes, how old are you?

Thirty four?

Thirty four years old? How many girls has.

This man got?

Who knows how.

Many East infections have you had? Since?

Your pH balance is always hard?

Stop it?

Come on? Oh okay, I understand though, because you put him on insurance, he moved in. You thought it was more serious than it was, and he was still playing the field.

Well see see, I want to tell you that that you know you can do better.

That's not the part that I'm mad at. The part that I'm mad at is that I have nothing to do with other relationships and I'm being too of being a random girl. So why would you do you notice that?

Why would you even care?

You shouldn't even speak care.

This is what I'm saying. You've ever been a chub or something who absolutely did not do yes and just frustrated. But then he's also super relief because it's like you never trust me in the beginning. But it's just super fussing.

Stops it.

Understand your upset, but stop cursing. But understand that the truth don't need no defense. It only needs witnesses. So as long as you know the truth, that's the most important thing. But the truth is you just wanted this man's holes. Now you need to ask yourself, do you just want to be one of this man's holes or do you want to be more to somebody? Because if you want to be more to somebody, then you need to go find that somebody because it's not gonna be with him.

Yeah, I'm sorry you went through that, mama, but take him went through it.

He's still going to it.

Now, take him off.

She ain't gonna do nothing.

Still.

Yeah, who that talking to you in the background.

Nobody that's on the radio?

Oh yeah, man, you just another one of his holes. Man and I and you know, I think that you deserve better than that. But you know, he did keep it one honey with you from the beginning. It's not like he lied in you.

He didn't lie, And y'all didn't have a conversation. You just assumed because he moved in. But that was not a great assumption, obviously.

I know it's hard. I know it's hard. Three four years of raw sex. Three you know what I'm saying, him blowing in your bookie. I know it got I know it got you a little open man, but you know you deserve better.

I'm sorry, Mama.

Have a good day.

Damn man. She's take him off insurance right now.

You get it off your chest. Eight hundred five eight five, one oh five on the breakfast club.

Good morning, the breakfast Club, right right, ray.

Yo, Charla man day, what up are we lying?

This is your time to get it off your chest?

I got an indoor pool, outdoor pool.

We want to hear from you on the breakfast club.

Get on the phone right now.

He'll tell you what it is.

We lie, Hello, who's this?

It's done to the Haitian therapist?

You forever, Sandra? Where you've been at?

I know, working? You know a busy seasons for depression and anxiety.

Yes it is seasonal. Seasonal depression is the real thing around this time of you.

So I listened to the doctor Scheyenne Bryant interview, and I just wanted to make clear that she is not a licensed therapist. Some of the things she was saying was pretty concerning, especially with saying people can't change. That's the foundation of our whole you know thing, is that you can change, and that it would be completely unethical to see a wife and a husband separately and then together for couples counseling. That is not something that counselors can do.

I think people took out it, they took it out of context when she said you can't change. So she was just saying that you got to be willing to shift something in you first before you make a permanent change.

No, because even even you questioned it, like you know what I mean, Like she she said that asking you question.

They don't change. People pivot, she said.

She said that the basis starts.

To therapy that you can change. And so doctor Elliott Khannie, he is like my number one. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have gone into private practice because solution focused brief therapy is my favorite.

It's the best modality.

Yes, he is.

It is absolutely the best.

You everybody should pick up Elliot Cohanne's book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Futures out right now.

And thank you for calling because you can't change, no problem.

And I got the Family Therapist podcast on the Black Effect iHeart Radio podcast network, hosted by Elliott Khan.

Hello, who's this?

Good morning? This is James called from North Carolina.

James from the Carolina Get it off your Chest with part I'm from Lumberton, Lumberton, All right, get it off your chest?

Brother?

Uh yeah, I wanted to ask y'all when y'all all interviewed Julia White, did he happen to mention what it was like to work with Uh, Michael Boogaloo Shrimp Chambers.

Who the hell is this?

Michael?

Y'all, y'all don't remember him? Man, that's Turbo from Breaking and Breaking Too.

Breaking was my movie.

And then we can't ask about Wow.

Nah, I ain't no where he worked.

He was in the movie.

Nah.

He was in one of the episodes on Family Matters. He played us erkle Bot.

I don't remember that.

We didn't ask about that one, Brom Luthor Turbo though, you threw me off and you said, Michael Boogaloo, yeah boo, Yeah, you ain't asking about that one.

Brother, Yeah, man, I just I was just wondering.

Craz I never knew Turbo's real name until you said it, and I thought Boogoloo was the light skinned.

With the head water had m h and the nose are Yeah, I ain't know that was ter Get it.

Off your chest. Eight hundred five eight five one oh five one. If you need to vent, hit us up now. It's the Breakfast Club. Good Morning, the Breakfast Club.

Morning.

Everybody is DJ n V, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne the God. We are the Breakfast Club. Laura Ross here as well. We got special guests in the building. We have doctor Cheyenne Bryant.

Welcome buff And you are one of the people in the mental health space.

Who are who's us? Who's really using social media?

Right right?

Like you know, because you've used it to you know, elevate your platform and just elevate the conversation around mental health.

So I applaud you on.

Yeah, thank you.

I appreciate that.

Yeah.

I always say I didn't get into this field to become a celebrity. But God has his own plans, right, So I literally am my master's and my doctorate program. I remember my professor was saying, everyone who's gonna get license, raise your hand. I didn't raise my hand everybody else did, and he's like, Doc, you going you know with Shayan at that time, you're going.

Through all this not your license.

I'm like no, because I'm gonna be on a platform where I'm able to change lives. Didn't think that it ended up being a platform where to this magnitude one and then to the place where literally I didn't want it, the whole celebrity status and lifestyle. And not that I'm saying I don't want it now, I don't like it, It's just this is not where I expected it to go.

Now, you talked about your calling, so when it came when it comes to your calling, what is your calling? What do you specialize in? Is it relationships? Is it dealing with people's problems?

Is it just listening?

What is your specialty when it comes to and what's your calling?

I love that?

So I started off as a marriage and marriage iman child therapist, and I tell God, I said, listen, I'm a little girl from the hood.

You know what I come from.

Don't put me in the hood, and don't put me with court order DCF kids.

Not that I had a problem with them.

I didn't want to be triggered dealing with them and I didn't want to have to deal with what I came from. I wasn't in the system, but I came from that type of adversity. And the first place God put me was off of Hotdale and Sloughs and I don't know if you're familiar with LA, but a block away from Sloss and swap.

Meet in the hood and every one of my clients.

Were court ordered DCFS Department of Family and Child Services. We had mom in there who were pregnant, still hitting the pipe asking me can I sign off on the documents so they can get the kids back, because I was predicated on their reunification with their kids, and so started off as doing that. When I got my doctor, I transitioned to a psychology expert life coach. My specialty then was marriage faman child therapy, So that is my foundation. So now that I am a psychology expert life coach.

Why are you who you are? And then once you're finished dealing with that and you process that? Okay, DJ ANDV, what the hell you going from there?

I do have one other questions when it comes to the therapy aspect. I'm sure the world has been watching the Mendas brothers, right, And I had a question, right. So the Mendas brothers, if you don't know, they confess their crime to the therapists, and they believed that the therapists could not tell police officers because it was I guess,

Law one hundred percent?

So a therapist is only under confidential oath unless you are threatening to kill yourself and someone else, And it can't just be a threat, it has to be you have you actually have like an action plan to do so.

Right.

You can't just come to me and say, hey, Doc, look you know I want to kill myself. I will help you process through that and hopefully talk you off the ledge. But if you say I got a plan. At nine pm, I'm leaving the house. I'm going to do X, Y and Z to my wife, then I have a duty to report. If I'm subpoenaed to court, I have to speak on that.

Can you reach out to the court and say, subpoena me I.

Need to be.

Would never do that just because I believe in the following the oath of and maybe I just love and

Damn, and I have her in one hour, in one hour.

God.

Now, of course, if it was like my girlfriend, I'd be.

Like butlfriend, because my best friend couldn't be that's that's a complication. She could never come to me as her as a psychology exerting that. But I then I'd be I'd be you know, ripping into in talking to me from the.

Human perspective, because you still you're still a real stuff like that. When you hear a guy come in one.

Hour he's doing X, Y and Z and the woman coming to the next what is going through your mind about to do?

You know, in my mind, honestly, what I tried to do, and and and and and some of my clients have followed this guidance. I have one client now, he's he's married and the wife is attempted to divorce him, and she's divorcing him because he cheated, but she doesn't have any.

Hard facts on him.

So I've actually been able to process with him whether you're going to be with this woman or not, if you want to be with her or you want to be.

Able to leave and do better.

At some point, you got to be able to be real with yourself and real with her, and you got to be transparent. When do you plan on doing that? So he just literally this week or last week, because this week you told me doc. I sat with her and I told her that has been you know a few times that I did cheat. And I said, how does she respond? He said, she said, now we can have a conversation because now you're keeping it real. And when I had her in session, I said, listen, dragered right.

Yeah.

When some guys said, look, you have two options, said either, if you're willing to learn to love a dog, we can start that process because you know, or we could start the process of you leaving and starting over. And she goes, what do you mean by a dog? He said, but he didn't. We've been together for ten years.

He's never cheated.

The first time I said no, no, baby, I said, he'd been quiet for ten years. He decided to bark on your number ten Jesus.

So you don't think that he could change in that marriage and not cheat anymore.

First of all, nobody changes, including me. We shift, and that changes our life. And when I say we shift, we shift out of the things and behaviors that don't serve us after we learn they're not working, gotcha, And then we have to learn to manage those. So I am very firecrackery. When I was younger, I was very temperamental. I was very you know, who.

Are you talking to? Real quick?

I just because of my trauma, because of things, I just had a very protective by all means necessary. I'm an otus of seven, so I was you know, I've like this place up? Is that still in me after all of my healing?

Hell?

Yeah? Do I manage it? Absolutely?

Managing it just means that I'm high function I'm able to regulate my emotion, identify my emotions, don't get into my feelings because emotions are healthy. Feelings cause problems, and I can just say, okay, identify that I'm angry, I'm frustrated. So now let me choose my response. Before I was low functioning. Once I felt it, I was triggered and everybody here was going to know and it was gonna be a problem.

So does that still come up? Yeah? But do I have self talk that says we're not doing that?

So you would never date a man that cheated before because you feel like he will always be a cheated Is that what you're saying.

I think that's also circumstantial. So I do believe that different relationships bring out different things in us. I was also in extreme alpha in my first engagement. I had two engagements called off, two weddings my first relationships I was engaged to.

I was extreme alpha.

So even if he tried to be alpha, I left no space. It was like hell no, by all means necessary, because I said, so you can walk like I'm chasing my career.

I know my value. I'm not fatherless. I got a daddy. He spoiled me good day. So even in that, do you feel like that he wasn't man enough for you? Or like, what was that? Do you think that's your fault? Do you look back and be like, ugh, I was trying to be the man, not trying to be the man. But I actually I gave him because you just said you gave no work for him to do it. So do you regret that part of me? That's a duality.

I think he chose a woman who was alpha because it fed something in him that was beta. I chose a man who was veda because my alpha needed to be inflamed. But my second engagement, he was alpha. That's why I say its circumstantial. But not only was he alpha, I was ready. I had these submissive fills in me already. So by the time we got in a relationship, I was a hybrid. By then I was alpha submissive, so

Yeah, that thing all right.

We have more with doctor Shanyenne Bryant when we come back, so don't move.

It's the Breakfast Club.

Good morning, the Breakfast Club.

Warning everybody, It's DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne the God. We are the Breakfast Club. We're still kicking it with doctor Shanyenne Bryant. Of course, she has her show Truth Talks on Fox Soul Monday through Friday, eight pm. She's a psychology expert, a life coach.

Jess.

So the interview with Cam and also saw that she sat down with Nick. Did they reach out to you or did you reach out to them.

So Nick reached out to me and said, Doc, what's up, Like, I want to work through some thing, but I want to work through it on camera. And I said, okay, no problem, but I'm going to penetrate. So we're not doing penetrate.

The trigger is crazy, So he likes penetration.

Nick always goes, Doc, do you have to use that word. I'm like, yeah, I am.

I'm penetrating you at the space that obviously is broken and.

That the man just don't change, no twelve year old girl right now? Boy definitely President definitely.

So when he says all right, I need to work through some things, You're like, okay on camera? Does that then in your mind say is this for real? For real? Or do you want to appeal to a certain market, you know, to a certain audience. You know what I'm saying, great observation.

I didn't look at it like that because I look at it like I have a job to do. And so my intent was to use next situation and shift a whole culture of black men saying with cam and it happened. There were a lot of naysayers, but a lot of black men were actually in there creating the vironus and saying listen, Doc is right, we need to create more husbands and less baby daddy. Cam was resistant, but Cam had answered a lot of questions in his household.

Y Ca.

Cam said that you know, it affected his relationship with his first two baby moms and his current situation that no, yeah, because.

I'm here to interrupt that past No, yeah, like it should have been interrupted a long time, a long time. You know, Cam, and you come from and not that this breeds good decision making people, but Cam comes from He's a pastor's child. He comes from two parents that are still married and they're still very their pastors, very much involved with the church that goes to show you, like the Bible said, it was good for me that I was afflicted because you got people who come from brokenness.

A lot of times it's not.

Where you go, and they gets you where you where you're going, it's where you trying to get the hell away from. And a lot of times parents, Yeah, like I was telling Rayja this. Ray J is my client as well, Jesus. And I was telling ray I said, ray I love your parents. They showed you everything to do right, they didn't show you what not to do and see. For me, I had a circumstances an environment that showed me everything not to do. So sometimes knowing what not to do saves you from doing the wrong.

I was just going to ask, how do you deal with your other clients if you have ray J, I do, Oh yeah, I have that.

I have wise counsel Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a nice group, a nice, really healthy ecosystem of people who are in you know, counselors and coaches, and who are not.

What do you say? What do you say to people that say, you know?

How do you give advice on marriages and marriage couples when you're not married?

That was what do you say to those people?

I love that, I say that I don't want to hear you've been together fifteen years of miserable thirteen. I rather take advice from a single woman or man who's happy, thriving, successful, meaning in their joy, not just in their monetary value, then someone who is miserable in the marriage with a side dude in a side check, and you want to give an advice that you give yourself that you're using your failed marriage.

I'll pass better, all pass, all pass.

And what happens is married people like to shun on single folks. The Bible also says single people are happy people that look that up. It says marriage la discipline. No, it says marriage take discipline.

And a lot of times they say that you reach out to older couples that's been married longer because they'll tell you how to deal with the marriage than people. You know, like some people say, don't you said, don't you know with your single friends, you talk to married couples that's been in that situation.

And you know why that's true because folks who have been marriaging fifty twin years, they've been through the trenches. So they're not gonna teach you how to be happy. We got that single sist, We got that. I've had that all my life. They're gonna teach you how to get through the times when you ain't happy. Y'all, married, you know that, let's not play this game.

You married, you know that.

You think people get married too early.

I think people choose the wrong people. I think people choose their fairyitar ideology, they're not choosing the person. See, people are choosing marriage and not a husband. They're choosing marriage and not a wife. And so when you're choosing marriage, you get the title, you get the looks of it, but you're not getting a person.

So you're a beautiful house who's homeless.

You're like the idea of.

The idea, the idea.

And those are people who are fatherless sometimes motherless, who just need something to be a part of. I just need this companionship. I want the title. I don't feel value, I don't for validated. So because we're married, I got somebody who's checking from me. I got somebody who can get me through the day. But you got to be able to check even in marriage.

I was engaged for ten years, you know, because I kept calling it off, calling it off.

And he was like, you keep getting these degrees. You keep saying, wait for the next degree, where get married? And my time I want to get my doctor. He's like, baby, you done.

Got four degrees. Yeah, engage, you know, And I.

Can't putting it off because I knew that that wasn't my person. And I ended up leaving. I ended up leaving him, you know, unfortunate for him for gun ten years.

And she said he was a great guy, great guy. He was a great guy. He just wasn't my guy, right, And so.

For ten years he thought he was the guy you scro along for ten years.

Why you let him go be great with somebody else that would appreciate him and love him.

So I'm not saying for ten years, I knew he wasn't the one. When we got about your number five or six, and I've seen that his work ethic and his ability to provide at the level that I wanted our family to be at, I knew that he wasn't mine, my guy. And when I say provide, I'm not talking about like he was making six figures and I was like, now make millions.

I'm saying. His thing was, baby, I'm cool with me.

You a dog in a one baite in my apartment and just no work at all. So for the first six years, I thought, while I'm out here getting it, I have a legal company, you know, I own property.

I'm only twenty two and all.

These college degrees. How can he not be inspired by me? See, that's that age appropriate young woman.

He got potential. Let me stay. That's why people should take their time.

When I seen you number seven and eight, this guy was the same guy who was I hate talking because he's such a good guy. I was protecting when I talk about him. But where he was lazy and had no work ethic, I had a pivot.

Did he acquire more in the future.

No, he's still in the same place, So I made the right decision.

We have more with doctor Shyenne Briant when we come back.

Don't move.

It's the Breakfast Club.

Good morning, what.

Everybody your dj MV Jess hilarious, Charlamagne the guy.

We are the Breakfast Club.

We're still kicking it with doctor Chanyenne Bryant, psychology expert, life coach. You know she has her show Truth Talks on Fox Soul. Now I want to ask you about some internet rumors that I see. You know, Corey hol Comes said some things about you about not having your degree and where you started off as a I guess working in the strip club.

Is any of that stuff?

You said, you're not a real doctor.

He said, yeah, you're not a real doctor.

No, So I have four degrees. Three are in psychology, ones and Pan African studies. My doctor degree is in counseling psychology. My master's the marriage I mean YID therapy. All degrees are in psychology.

Where this Corey Holcom thing comes from, is we did.

I was on a show ten years ago when I actually I think it was before even had my doctor degree. And Corey is used to being able to be very disrespectful to woman and doing things.

He was a guest on the show. I was co hosted.

He was a guest, and I drill dis asked to be honest, it's on YouTube, people, could you know look at it? And I cut into him and I said, you seem like you are inferior to white man, and you seem like you got daddy issues, and you seem like you got mommy issues. You got kids that don't even talk to you or respect you, they don't like you.

It tell us a lot about your character.

This was ten years ago, okay, And obviously he's still in his feminine because he's still holding a grudge over it. You know, this is like interviews or interviews, so you're saying you do them and you move on to the next. And so was very upset and I feel like that in that space he was, y'all could watch it. He was done, found it Like usually he comes back with the you know, f you b or he has something to say.

That Corey is just a broken person, period, and I do feel like you'll need help. He needs help.

Corys off camera if Corey came again and said, doc, let's do off camera sessions if he wants to do it on camera, because it's just gonna be a rhetoric. I'm not doing that to help his career. I will help him as a man, but I'm not here to help him in his career. That's his job. I'm not here to carry a man that ain't minds or float a man that ain't mind, but to help you with your mental health or help you as a person. He's an alcoholic, he drinks a lot. You know, he's he's

Did you guys see.

What he looks like on Cam Newton interview. I'm not talking about looks many attractiveness. Do you see how unwell hygienically.

Clean he looks?

Say why no?

This ties into mental health? That man's hygiene was on negative two hundred. What I'm saying is he needs deeper help than me coming on fifty one fifty to bring him a bigger audience. He can seal do fifty one fifty, but he needs to be able to fifty one fifty himself and get the help that he needs.

Lord, I saw you said too that you comment on the fact that Kamala didn't come out the first night when she didn't win. Speak to that and speak to the comment because we were upset.

About Oh yeah, another unpopular opinion. I don't care.

She proved why the people.

Men and women who are not ready for a woman president are not ready for a woman president because society and some men not all, deem women as emotionally unstable and unable to regulate our emotions when you knew you.

Weren't winning or weren't in the lead.

And these kids, these babies, these adults were at a historical black university that you went to, Howard waiting hours for you. They had volunteered, I'm sure they had to contributed, and they probably voted for you and supported you this entire time. You couldn't come out and address the people who supported you. That's proven to the people who don't believe women could lead at that level, that a woman can't regulate her emotions enough to come out and take an ail.

I don't care if she would have came out in tears. Listen, I'm sorry we lost. Whatever that looks like.

I'll give a little pushback on that, because Donald Trump never gave a concession speech, nor would he even admit that he lost.

But we're talking about Trump who runs on being that type of person, so his people never expected that. Just like when someone says, well, Trump's a racist, he's running on that.

Trump is talking about getting rid of the U d I. He has said that.

Kamala came out and showed us all this love and support. But when you took the l not only did you not come out, you sent a man to come out and address these people.

He was fine too. You didn't even send another woman or black woman. This was a woman's moment.

And in my opinion, that all that did was tell the folks who said women can't lead, see she sent a man out to do it and then came out the next day. That's not leadership.

To me.

Leadership is commitment, and commitment is doing what you said you would doue regards of how you feel. I don't care how you felt, Kamala, come out and address us. Those kids left what they had down. They weren't sad just because she lost. They were sad because they were looking for who was still their leader, whether she lost or not. To come out and address those kids.

I was going to ask, what was the last time you apologize or last time you were wrong about something you remember?

Good question?

It probably probably.

It probably was to my best friend Lola and my assistant.

We work so closely together. We're always together because I'm so comfortable with her. She gets all of my moving part to be honest with What about to a man that you're dating.

Didn't get an apology?

I actually got to know because you you are very strong in opinion and stuff like that. And I think men think that women that are structured like you don't know how to be accountable and don't know how to apologize.

I'm very accountable.

I do apologize, And that's why I said, I want a man who will say with respect and me, he ain't about to just dominate, like shut your ass up to you know, he could be disrespectful, but I want a man who's like, hold on, you're out of pocket right now. You know, like, we don't do that. This is not what we do. And I like you strong,

I will apologize.

I will come to myself because I have the discipline of that self talk of saying stock you know, or I will say, listen, you've already apologized. You've done everything you could right now. It's not a youth problem. I'm still trying to get out of my ego. So just give me thirty minutes, because baby, you've apologized, like you've.

Done your job. And then I come around in twenty thirty minutes and I'm like, okay, I'm back and I'm sorry too.

That's awareness, that's kind of ability.

Sorry.

And the thing is when you really want peace, and that's the thing about being single for so long, though.

You can, yes, you find it, you figure it out.

You find a piece and enjoy that.

You do get in a relationship, you gotta make sense.

And when you do get a relationship though, you're really saying let's dead this let's deadness argument.

Yes, have you ever got afraid that you're going to get so used to that piece that you're not gonna want to do nothing? Because I tell myself the all the time, like I'm in such a good state, I don't want nothing to bother me.

No, because I have been I have been serial dating for the six years I've been single. So when I say single, it means I haven't.

Been committed but committed.

But have I had like three months six months relationships that went that long season A word exclusive and we're committed in that season Because I am very into exclusivity. I don't like casual sex, and so I will accidentally go a year, year and a half Cellivan because I don't like the casualty of sex. And when I decide to, I would choose that one person to be around for the long term. Well when does that decision happen for you? Now, I'm in my choosing stage, so it's gonna happen now

But but I'm not.

I'm not desperate, so it's not like again, I'm not choosing just a high valued man. I would even take a man who's a little less value, meaning a little less income money. But I just love this man. He's my person, right, so yeah, yeah, I mean he could. Yeah, so I would, And I would regular rather have a regular man who isn't in the limelight, who we both don't have to straddle this this whole industry thing, and he can go run a business or go be a corporate guy. He can come to my shows and we

He is always.

You know what, So you got the show truth Talks.

I do Truth Talks before we get out of here. Truth Talks is my new talk show. It's on Fox. It's Monday through Friday, eight weeks.

Not at all.

Sometimes the producers are like, Doc, you know, give the other co hole time to talk. I'm like, I'm like, I gotta do that. But it's coolcause we're pretty much.

We're a global news.

We're a CNN that gives you the black voice, the black perspective and we're.

Bringing truth to everything news with culture twist to it. So we're every night a PM frime time.

Love that.

Yeah, follow follow me on Underscore, Doctor Brian on Instagram, social media, or you can go to doctor Brian dot com and that's doctor Brian dot coeo not dot com and then I'm on my speaking to our Yeah, that's.

Doctor and Brian.

We appreciate you, you have thank you'll having me.

It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, thank you, The Breakfast Club.

Good morning everybody. It's DJ n V Jess Hilarious, Charlamage the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. Jess is on maternity leaves a lawns filling in and we got a special guest in the ability.

It's going down Wallow. Listen, man, welcome to the Breakfast Club this morning, presented to you by million dollars worth a game. Listen, man, we didn't board to the company. Man, it's as good. It's going down man, We're doing it big now. Man, I'm my brother right here. I'm so proud of you. Listen, man, listen, I want to give you before I start. I gotta give you your flowers because you've been man, you me and you had something. Phone calls. We had a thousand phone calls. A couple

The book title is perfect for you because there's not too many people on this planet who come with good intentions like.

Wallow does appreciate that.

When did you develop that mentality?

I don't know, Man. I was on the street corners, I was, I was, I had good intentions on the street corners. I just wanted to still American dream, and I said, man, it's too slow. The only people that got respected my neighborhood was successful criminals. So even though I was a good person growing up, my grandma raised me, well my mom, you know, you know, I was like, I got to figure this out. So I said, I got to I got man. The only people they respect

You said in the book, you said it's actually in the chapter Arm of Good Intentions, you said you screamed out one day and you made it a daily reminder that nobody will save you.

Nobody. Especially when I was in prison, I'm like, we complain in the we doing I'm like, yo, bro, we inside these white folks spot ain't nobody coming. Like if they go off anything else, we're gonna be locked in these selves. Ain't nobody coming, But that's the same thing in the ghetto. Ain't nobody never come and save nobody? Who saves her?

What was the change for you? What was because you said you were in and out? What was the change?

You said?

I gotta get this right and I gotta change myself.

Like to be realistic, man, I got tired of being in jail with a bunchet. You see what I'm saying. I wanted to take a butt nugga shower, you know what I mean. I couldn't do that. I wanted to slip neked in the bed. I couldn't do that because I'm in the SEC. Gotta sell you. I don't know if he might wake up in the middle of night and be like, yo, man, let me I need parts

Like married in the yard.

You know, people was getting married in the yard. I said, damn man, though it was real weddings like it wasn't though, like if you got the Bible when you got somebody that's officially like you were just.

In the yard.

I was walking the yard.

I was, you know, I wasn't a guest.

I was in the backdround because I was walking in the yard. So I'm like, I'm sitting there and I'm like, I ain't trying to get married in the yard man, damn. And then I'm seeing people getting stabbed in on. I'm like, yo, I'm not trying to So I would go to my

You ain't taking shower your whole time, the whole way.

No, I took it for a while till I just you know, went down there and short comfortable because because I had that, I was like, damn, man, like why everybody gotta be naked in this joint?

Man?

And then they looking at you and then they talking like like they be asked. They talking you see the game? Oh man, what's the name?

Went off?

Immi Smith. I'm like, man, like we ain't suposed like y'all supposed to be doing it.

When did you get like like like comfortable with it? Like your first decade shower were you never got a show?

But no, no, I got one when I got to the jail where you get your own booth.

Okay, I wasn't trying to be a.

Party because it's like it's like a volunteer, like you volunteering something.

How long it took to do that?

Oh years? It took years. But different jail, different part of the jail got different sections where you get a single shower. So in that jail was jings, we got the single shower locked in. But it was like, man, I always feel like that was the volunteer services, like you was giving imitations to something.

So I didn't know, all right, we got more with Wallow when we come back, it's the breakfast club.

Good morning.

Why Everybody's dj NV, Jess, Hilaris Charlamage, the God we Are the Breakfast Club. Lauryn la Ross was filling in for Jess and we're still kicking it with Wallow. Now, I got a question, what did you realize this is what you wanted to do when you came home and you said you took that drive and you went back to you had the McDonald's with the grandma's house. When did you realize this is what you wanted to do and how you wanted to change for the next generation.

I was in a shout out to the life of these Life for Brothers, this organization NWACP, and all the brothers that was in the penitentiary with me, the elders. There's an organization called Real Street Talk. So I'm in there in one of the old OG's brother, Minister Rob, shout out to him. He come to me, said, Wallow, we need you to come down here and talk. It was a bunch of brothers shere, Sharif it was ike

That's Wallow really like this. I'm not gonna do that even off camera. He's like you the generational curve break or Wallow.

That's why I'm that.

I'm so glad you put out a book, man, because I need to see you on every platform having these conversations.

I want to see you on the view. I want to see you. I'm getting But you know what. You know what's crazy though, and this is why our Brothers Club is a major platform for our culture and will always be. You get it when it's not cool. You get it before it go popular, you get it before it goes shiny. You get it and understand that a lot of these people don't get about it. Even though you name platforms. They don't care about that. They just

What do you think about when when Michael Rubin was up here and said pretty much the same thing that you just said right now, but he just said we heard our.

He basically said, our community hurts ourselves.

That's what even saying. Let me say this though. Let me say this though, everything is the messaging because I can't speak on behalf of you know, different races. I can't do that because they gonna like so that's normal. But one thing that I can say is that everybody is speculating everybody's around. On that day that Meek was in that courtroom, I was in that courtroom to come to speak for me. Michael Rubin was in that courtroom. And when we took that break after the the you know,

He said, he didn't realize there was two Americas until that he.

Listen that day. He looked at and then he attempted to walk back in the courtroom after we had the conversation, and she slapped him around and he like what the like cause he stood up and spoke and stood up, and she was like all right, writing in the paper like he went and done something. I respect Mike for that. You know, people when have their opinions on people. But I'm talking about when I see a good person, I see a good person, I salute a good person. That's it.

We got more with Wallow.

When we come back as the Breakfast Club, Good Morning, everybody is dj n V Jesselari Charlamage the God. We are the Breakfast Club. Law on the Roaster is feeling in for Jess. We're still kick it with Wallow. His book On With Good Intentions is out right now. One thing I want you to talk about before we leave, you said.

You said the feeling of not being punished for doing something you knew was wrong was equivalent to your first orgasm. How long did it take for you to actually feel guilt when when you did something wrong?

Man, it took me a while because you're young and you just don't know, so it takes you a while, and then when it hit you just be like, damn, there's some crazy. But it was a while. It was just a thirsty It was just I don't know. I think I was just part of stealing an American dream. I was doing my thing because I wanted to be You understand, I'm looking at these movies, man, I'm looking at rayleiol In Modude Feelers, and you know the part where he burning the cars up, He's throwing the joint.

And the way you saw to get fly people set they only respected the criminals in the game.

Listen, do you go ask any judges, lawyers, prosecutors and all that. What's your favorite movies? Gott Fovers, what's your favorite series? The Sopranos, Everything Gonna Be. They love the successful criminals. So I grew up to try to be that. But as I grew older, I took responsibility say oh, yeah, I want I did wrong. You never heard me say it was no. I wasn't in jail for some magically did or because of the white man. I was in jail because I wanted to get busy, and I did what I did.

To your point about women shaping everything, you talk a lot about black women and see no women and how you staff your team with women, can you talk like why that's important and how that's helped you along your journey as you like, Bill.

Shout out to my manager, business part of the desiree Ivy, shout out the Amrin, shout out the sham lost in my attorney. These women. Let me say a something to you about these women. They get done, that's right. They not playing games at all. I don't know what it is about. Know that getting them going crazy? They lose their mind about No, I'll be like, damn, what happened? Somebody told me, No, todath what what's going on? Don't worry about mind your business. I'll get to the bottom.

Every single inpathy I got a black woman running.

Shout out to all the dollars, Dolley's a monster, She's no joking, Nicole. Shout out to all the sisters out there that's doing it, going up against all the books, all the racism, in these companies, y'all, y'all going to HR. HR is playing games with y'all. They they trying to weed y'all out. Because as soon as the sister get up and she stand up for usself, oh she's being everybody played victims. Soon as the sisters speak up for herself,

That's right?

But I just want to shout out to everybody out there that's doing anything, and I need to say this to you. I don't care if you gotta what I stand. You got a T shirt company, you gotta put the tape out music, you're doing art, you won yes away from your world changing. Stop looking on Instagram and thinking everybody's beating you and you running late and you ain't enough. And I want to say something to the sisters out there. You are enough they'll never let nobody finish you on.

You see it when Today tonight we're gonna be at Uncle Bobby's in Philadelphia, me and my man Wallow having more conversation.

Bobby's yes about this book. Armed with Good Intentions.

Make sure we get you, my man spyed. Make sure to give you them cheese steaks. You like them, taste cheese steaks.

I had some joints something when I was like she was he was home, he too.

The way you made them.

Damn yeah, yeah, yeste sleut. The taste sell cheese tak. It's a little crazy. Now I like that type of stuff. Yeah, but you know, and uh find find your way to support local businesses. Make wallow a New York Times best Fellers, what happened? I can't wallow on tammering and.

All that stuff all up. We gotta Also, if you're out there, if you have any hair killing companies, d J mvious looking for sponsors like the sponsors gentleman.

Intentions.

Now pick it up. It's the breakfast club.

Good morning.

I heard them.

Donkey again, man donkey Uh.

Eyas true?

Yes, donkey today goes to Reginald renods in Mia bagging Stuce. I'm sure I pronounce that name wrong, but we can call her me a bag of dope. They are thirty five and thirty seven years old, respectfully. They are from Portland, Oregon. And I don't know why. When I saw this story any day, I thought to myself, either I'm experiencing dejapu or I've done this story before. But I figured out the issue. The issue is there's this bag that people buy.

Let's go to ABC ten for the report.

Police Tony, We're looking into a story that seems hard to believe. It claims a couple was arrested after officers found drugs in a bag that had definitely not a bag full of drugs printed on it, and focus on a true The Portland Police Bureau in Oregon look at this posted this picture on social media. They say they discover the bag, along with cash, a gun, and scales during a traffic stop tuesday. Inside the bag, you guessed

See some of these donkeys be layered. Why would you be riding dirty in a stolen car? Can you please commit to one crime at a time? Do you simultaneously have to be committing multiple fellow the offenses? And if you're going to be in a stolen car where the four Taurus's ignition has been visibly tampered with, why would you have baggies of drugs just visible in a stolen car?

Not to mention, you got this.

Big brown canvas bag labeled definitely not a bag full of drugs, And in that bag, and in that bag with seventy nine blue fens and all pills three fake.

What like your mouth waters?

Just that's crazy?

Are you doing in Delaware?

Three fake oxycodone tablets and two hundred and thirty grams of meth?

Not to mention a loaded thirty eight.

I know I wrote a book called Getting on Us to Die line, But damn okay, rech no lema. You know they probably was telling the officers like, look, officer, we'll just practicing radical honesty.

You know, transparency in crime is.

A new movement, and that officer was like, thank you for making my job easier.

By the way, this.

Transparency and crime movement still comes with fifteen years to life. Now.

I know what some of you might be thinking, it's organ aren't drugs legal? And Oregon?

Well, in twenty twenty, organ decriminalized the possession of small amounts of hard drugs in an effort to readirect city funding from criminalization and toward treatment of substance use disorders. To measure pass with high levels of public support, that faltered as overdose and homelessness rates roles in the state during the COVID nineteen pandemic when Rihanna makeup became widely available. But in September, the state recriminalized drug possession.

So the moral of the story is all of this was illegal. Okay. There's absolutely no right way.

To do the wrong thing, even in Oregon, and everything Reginald and Mia did.

Was completely wrong. Okay.

Reginald and Mia might be the first criminals in the history of crime who actually labeled the evidence for the police. And I know they thought labeling it not a bag full of drugs would throw people off, like, there's no way folks would think they were that dumb.

But it's not about what we think.

It's about what you know about yourself, Reginald and Mia Okay, you had to know that you are.

Indeed that dumb.

Okay, please get Reginald Reynolds and Mia Baggings, the Sweet Sounds.

And the Hamiltones.

Oh oh they.

That is ridiculous. A question that's like Lauren wearing a T shirt that says definitely not single.

Like you wearing a T shirt saying definitely healed because.

It's a journey is yes, okay, okay, what is your question?

Like weed and portchit and guess who's.

Need I love to be thank you very much, my girl.

But everybody knows that the real cat like the comebacks. It's mean, it's the house that you need Leaks built. But anyway, my question before I was rudely interrupted, yes'm is this.

Not entrapment though? Because why would you be allowed.

To sell a back that says definitely not drugs knowing that someone might put drugs in it because they think it's like funny or something.

There's this thing called attire, and so whoever made that bag was just making it, probably just to be funny, and they knew that, you know, people would walk around with the buggers just like up. The bag is like a fashion statement, but they didn't think they actually put drugs inside of it.

You got a burket?

What is this on your berkey?

Not fake?

Yes, like this shout out the Sunday Saturdays.

You take like this.

Burken but that that has nothing.

I hate this.

I just was that was a whole tree. You playing today, baby in the soil. Alright, don't worry. I got a new bob and I got.

Some I'm ready to breakfast club.

Warning everybody, as Steen j n V. Charlamage the goud we are the breakfast Club. We got a special guest.

In the building, my guy.

He's an author New York Time best selling author. He's an entrepreneur, he is a podcast host and now he is a model as well. Ladies and gentlemen, j she a mother.

By the way, Jay Sheddy is more than a podcast hole. She has one of the top ten biggest podcasts in the world. Right, Okay, I think that's a very important to note because everybody got a podcast.

Okay.

Jay said he had one of the top ten biggest podcast in the world was the number five.

I think.

I think so that's on Spotify. I think that's what it came out us. But no, thank you for having me, guys. I love being here with you, guys. I'm so grateful to be back with you. Congrats on the new studio and that's not new you for your viewers, but it's new for me being in with you. But thank you, Thank you guys.

You just sat down with First Lady Michelle Obama. Conversation was everywhere right, and she expressed how terrified she was about this election year. What was it like hearing that from her? And how do you process that? Did that give you anxiety when you hit it?

Yeah, it's an interesting thought process because I can't vote in this country. I moved here eight years ago. I have a green card, but I don't you know, I don't have voting rights, and I moved here the Trump became president in twenty sixteen, and so I've had an interesting education in the United States. I haven't you know, I didn't grow up learning American history or American politics, so I'm also very uneducated in that space. Specifically, I think for me, I look at most things as things

How many times do you how often have you broken your own eight rules of love?

Oh?

Every day?

Every day? Man, every day.

I don't think it's you know, it goes back to that how can I heal someone? I'm still healing myself, And it goes to the reality of and I think we all know this at this table. Everything in life is a process, right, Like even if you took something really tangible, Like we say this person is rich, we talk about them as if they can never lose it and that will always be theirs. That's actually not true. People could lose all their money. We talk about someone

One of the things you said, man, that I think is so important that I want people to really get from this if they don't get nothing else from this conversation, is like, there's no manual for any of this. You're not going to be the perfect husband, You're not going to be the perfect father. I spend so much time simply apologizing to my wife and apologizing to my kids because I don't ever want them to think that I'm trying to come off with some perfect human who never gets anything wrong right.

And I think that is that's very important to do.

And just being present, like when you're when.

You're when your wife calls, your child calls.

You, even if you in that moment you weren't present. As soon as I'm done whatever I'm doing, I'm so sorry that you know I had to do that, but I had to go do X, Y and Z in that moment.

Yeah.

Absolutely, And I think I think the thing about the point you just made, and I hope this is what someone takes away from this as well is I think a lot of us in our minds when we do introspect, we're quite heavy and harsh on ourselves. I think a lot of people are walking around with a internal in a critical voice that is completely making them feel terrible,

Never when was.

The last time you supported someone you hate deeply? So if you're hating, blaming, guilty yourself, it may get you started, but it won't get you there. And so anyone who's giving themselves a hard time, I'm not saying to give yourself an easy time, but that inner grace, that inner forgiveness is such an important part of you actually becoming better. So you're not doing it because you're trying to take it easy on yourself. You're doing it because it's going to let you get through the hard times.

The most important thing, I think for a lot of people is back to what you said with forgiveness and grace.

Right.

A lot of things that we do is learn behavior.

Right.

Why do people pop their children usually because they got popped as a child. You know a lot of the things that we learned and we were taught with.

Yeah, there's that famous quote you just reminded me of that says, by the time you realize that your parents are right, your kids are telling you that you're wrong. And it's that awkward position that we end up in. But you know what's really interesting about that. I was talking to someone about this at dinner last night, and there's this old story that I heard a while ago, and it's always resonated with me, even with my own childhood,

To That's why that's why podcast on Purpose is so important. That's my podcast, like you know, Debbie Brown deeply Well, is so important because we learn how to, you know, break break a lot of these cycles.

Absolutely, we got more with Jay Shetty when we come back keeping lock this the breakfast club, Good morning morning. Everybody is the DJ en Vy Charlamagne the guy. We are the breakfast Club. We're still kicking it with Jay Shetty, Charlamagne.

Are you wearing gap right now?

No, no, right now, Okay, I'm just because you saw that the gap caps, that's.

Just thought he was handsome. I was like, all right, j you know, you know I wasn't expecting that from you. Thank you, man.

I appreciate you know you and your wife do the holiday holiday gap campaign.

Yeah, yeah, we we were just you know, when we got asked to do that, it was like we couldn't believe it.

We're like, what is this?

You know, like we grew up watching the gap campaigns, like the holiday campaigns especially, and any I've said to my wife, any time I get to do any work with her is my favorite thing because I have to hang with all day. And so that shoot was fun. They made it fun. The creative team was fantastic, Like it was a good time. We walked out of there having had a great day. So yeah, it was a lot of fun. And then was it was surreal because you know, yeah, definitely never been a model, So I.

Wanted to ask you to do you get pushed back from.

People who watch you sit down with a Michelle Obama or a Jada Pinkey Smith.

Why didn't you challenge them on this? Why didn't you challenge them on that?

Yeah, I don't get pushed back for not challenging people because I think the questions I ask are challenging in a different way. But I think I'll get pushed back

Yeah, because I think your conversation with Jada Pinkett Smith the clips is what's set off the Jada pinker hatred, not because of you.

Yeah, you know what I mean.

But if you didn't watch the whole conversation in context and you just saw clips.

Yeah, she got a tech yeah, yeah, and Jada's a dear friend for me. So it's yeah, it's it's a tough one because I think any clip about anyone I said.

I had someone say this to me today.

Yesterday they said to me Jay, they met me for the first time and they were like, Jay, you're so much nicer in person. I didn't like you off of your Instagram and I was like, fair enough, Like that's cool, but it's so hard for me to be all of myself in thirty seconds and I'm trying my best. You're trying your best you'll try your best, but it's hard for any of.

Us like not to like about you on Instagram. You're with your wife.

No, yeah, puppy's looking your fate.

No, in the sense of I think he was just like you know, I feel like you feel a bit like whatever it was, like whatever he's I don't even know what it was. But I think all of us, if you judged any of ourselves at thirty second real, oh, I'm sure all of us would agree it's not who we are, you know.

So, and that's why I have stuck.

I do stuff with my wife because I feel I'm most myself when I'm with my wife because naturally it's the person I spend the most time with.

And so, but even.

Even with all of us, like, I've got to meet you guys in person a few times now. We win canned with iHeart on, you know, for the festival last year together, And I think when you've met people in person, that's the only time you're going to feel like you've got to know them. I don't think anyone under I feel like if someone if someone okay, if someone follows me on Instagram, they understand maybe ten percent of who

You say, language has created the word loneliness they express the pain of being alone, and it has created the word solitude, express the glory of being alone. Could you could expound on that?

Yeah, it's a Paul Tillich quote. The writer Paul Tillich said that, and to me, I extrapolated from his work for my book because I was realizing that language and the way we use words completely defines how we think about things. So when you hear the word loneliness, you think sadness, you think potentially depression, you think negativity. Of course, solitude is spending time alone with yourself, but with strength,

I wonder what when that study was done.

I wonder was it before social media after because I feel like when social media is probably tripled it.

Yeah, I probably read it that. That's that probably I read.

In the last three to four years, So I guess while social media is around. But yeah, I mean now it could have totally tripled. But it's interesting because it's the same thought often. Yeah, right, A lot of time we keep saying the same thing. I'm so tired, I'm so tired that talk could life last a year? Or like, oh god, i'm so scared at work, I'm so anxious, that could last a year.

So, oh, one more thing, yeah, Man, is there anything Jay Shady hates?

Ooh, The answer is I don't because I think hate personally collectively individually doesn't lead to greatness.

What about the notebook? You hate the notebook?

I don't hate the notebook, but I have heard I have thoughts about the notebook, Charlie Man, I don't hate the number. I find it hilarious as to how many. And I was, like I said, I'm a hopeless romantic. I've been like that my whole life because I grew up watching Hollywood movies thinking that that's how I was meant to fall in love. I was that dumb person

Well, Ja Shetty, Ladies and gentlemen.

Where can they follow you?

Jay?

To come and check out on the podcast On Purpose. It's where I'm pouring my heart and soul and you know, excited to share so many more amazing, maybe thought provoking, maybe even pushing you slightly conversations to come and join us on Purpose.

And his latest book was Eight Rules of Love that came out last year, how to Find It, Keep It and let it Go.

You got a new book coming, are you?

No?

No, no, This was just I was just excited to be back with you and hanging and actually, do you know what, sometimes I love these conversations because I came here not knowing where it was going to go, and then you guys just guide it beautifully. So this was wonderful man. Yeah, thank you guys.

Jay Shetty.

It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, the Breakfast Club.

Morning.

Everybody's DJ Envy just Hilary Charlamine the guy. We are the breakfast Club or leave us. On a positive.

Note, the positive notice of this maturity is when you know the other person is lying, but you just smile and let it go.

Breakfast club bitches, y'alla finish. So y'all done,