Yep, the world's most dangerous morning show, The Breakfast Club. Charlamagne the God DJ Envy is not here, but we got a Nihilis and Moon just hilarious of course, and we got the greatest lyricists in the world whose name is not Kendrick Lamar Rat.
New album, Please Don't Cry? How are You.
Excited?
Look good? And thank you?
Okay, we got to get into it first before we started talking about your album.
Kendrick and Drake. Come on, Kendrick, easy call.
It's so easy. I could do it my eyes closed.
Kendrick, what what causes an MC to win a rap battle? Because you're an m C MC, So what causes an MC to win a rap battle?
You gotta have strategy, right, I tell people it's like the art of war. You got to know who you're going against. And for this case in particular, the type of person that Kendrick is. You know he's strategic. Like if he goes quiet, you should know that he's cooking. But you gotta have the right beats. You know, your bar has got to be up. Your performance is a thing, like I think all of those things matter. And the thing that I like that he did, he gave you.
He cooked that boy so many different ways. Like I said, he baked them, he stir fried them, that grilled him, like he marinated a little bit. Like he gave you stories. He gave you a banger, He gave you the classic hip hop bar. Joint was however you want it, I got it for you. And you know, he anything, Drake said. He came back and was like he just didn't have rooms. It's like when you're boxing somebody on you can't get your arms.
Yeah, I really love that.
Char always used a parallel of you and Kendrick when it comes to rap in the current state of rap right now, just like the Complexion record, I feel like that was also like a great introduction to a bigger audience for you as well. But I feel like it's a little weird because I would love to see that from Cold just because y'allvote from the Carolina US, you know what, Like what is what's that dynamic?
Me and Cole? Yeah, like working together like that, y'all did a record, Yeah we did sojourn.
Yeah, covers phenomenal.
But yes, yes, yes, Rob Washington, Yes, yes, yes.
I think it's your preference because you know, I see some people like Cole and I'm just like, I ain't mad at either way. You know, we got all what you say, like why we don't work together more. Yes, I think it's just like the town. Yeah, I don't know Kendrick. Kendrick since the beginning. He's always been the one to come to the studio early in the days. Like, I just had a friendship with him earlier. I had his number longer, like we text as, So the friendship
was just there. Even though he from the West Coast, when he would come down to North Carolina, they would always bring the tour bus bar you know. So you know Cole was in New York. You know, I just didn't see him that much.
So it's a relationship.
Yeah, it's just real relationships. It ain't nothing funny. But call I think coaches moved back to NC maybe like around the pandemic time. Okay, so that's just he really wasn't in the proximity for me to have a relationship.
You have. You and Kendrick ever performed Complexion and Power together.
One time he did that short tour run remember, but to Butterfly. He was doing those smaller venues, intimate spots for him and we did it in DC.
The reason I'm glad we started the conversation like this because I'm trying to set the stage for how Dope Rhapsody is for those who still don't know.
Like your peers, the mcs MC's hold you in high regard. That's why they do these type of records with you.
Yeah, and everybody says like you bring the best out of them. I'm just you really do you know? It's a beautiful, healthy competition.
I think your features that are on all your projects, from Layla's Wisdom down to this latest one, from like a Black Thought to an Eric Kobad to working with Hip Boy, It's like the quality is just different.
You know.
When you tap into an album like this.
It's you know, I'm creating. It's about the music, Like the music is the biggest ego in the room. And I think when you approach it from that point of view, everybody's gonna bring the best.
You know.
It makes it fun and exciting, you know, even on Complexion like you going there like y'all, I gotta I gotta meet they level. Even with the Wayne Joint on the album, I wrote my versal.
Yo, I wrote my vers that one.
I feel like for a hip hop purists, that's the best one on there.
I love that record.
I did, and I'm not afraid to say that at all, like the first time I ever did that. But I sent it to him first, and I was just approaching it like I was trying to grow and like, I don't have to be so lyrical. I want to do something that's, you know, easier for people to learn, but it's not dumb down, Like it's still me, but it's not like just more relaxed. Yeah, when I got his verse back, I was like, nah, I gotta I gotta match his level of raw, Like I gotta match it.
So I was like, no, I can't. I can't get the people that.
What do you say when you rewrote it?
He said, I just sent it back to him. I was like, I rewrote it. I said, I took your flow and I just put my words to it. I just want to let you know what you think. Send me fire emojis.
And the wild thing about this project is called please Don't Cry. Yeah, what ironically, throughout the album, all you're doing is giving us stuff to.
Cry about, Like what is that about?
That's that's the point. It was like the title got a realer man. It's about like I was never one to show my emotion in public, or you know we grow up maybe men, especially what you're crying about. But it's really about allowing yourself to be human. Why you should cry, all the reasons you should cry. Don't cry just because you're sad. Cry because it's something so funny you laugh until you cry, or you so in love,
you know, like are you joyful or you angry? Like I I cry when I'm mad because if I don't, I'm gonna say someone or do something that I'm gonna regret. So I'm gonna just let it come out to tears, Like allow yourself to just be human. I don't think we do that enough, especially in a day with social media. It's perfection, perfection in your face all day, like the highlight reel. But where's the raw stuff? So you got to remind people like you human.
You're giving people permission the only feelings.
Absolutely for the record, Rhapsody isn't Aquarius, So you know.
To aquarium your birthday February thirteen, Okay, in February Quarious January twenty first, querious.
They have a hard time showing emotion like you guys have a face and y'all will keep that poker face so strong.
So that's why I think this is a great See I've.
I've been healing. Yeah, healing.
It's not real because whenever she upset and t it off, I say something to me and I'm really come back to her like you're just gonna say that to me, like I don't know what's really going on.
Oh no, he knows me.
Yeah, yeah, that's yeah, that's the good thing. But I really don't show my emotions. He will make you show them. Yes, you know what I'm saying, especially if he knows you. You know, and that's honestly a cancer.
Yes, yeah.
Text the other day she responded back, okay, and so I texted back, I said, you think I didn't.
You think I didn't. I don't know.
You rolled your eyes and stuff your teeth. I know when you read this that's what you did.
Y'are Aquarius. But ain't nothing wrong with it.
I know.
On the first single that you released for the album Asteroids, you talked about how you almost wanted to step away from this completely.
It was a thought.
Yeah that broke my heart. Yeah, why it was.
I was just at a place like I was just seeing the music business and everything that was in front of me. I was like, you know, I feel like I'm getting tired, Like there's no with me, you know what I'm saying, Like I don't know if people care. And it's like I could do music by myself, Like I don't even have to play this game. I want to get into the film world anyway. But I love it too much. I got too much purpose in it. I have to be the example. I want to be
the example. Rather I get to be the example. So you know, but it was a real thought, like man, what does it look like in this space? You know? And you know hip hop likes to aid you out. I was, you know, as a woman. It was just so many things going through my head and it's just like, yo, let me just pause and just really sit with it.
So what helped you get over that part of it? Because I can imagine you don't feel that way now?
You better not.
You gotta you have to unplug from the matrix, right And you look at it and you like, I feel this way cause I'm trying to validate myself through all these other things that everybody like, Yo, why don't why aren't you know, why don't I get this award? Or why I'm not in this space or these same spaces as other people? And you figure out like or whatever space is for me is for me. And that's what
it was like. I had to validate myself and I look for anybody else and any other these false measurements to do it. You know, it's like, what are you in it for? I was like, damn, I'd just really like to connect with people and make music to inspire people. So do that. Anything else is a blessing.
Yeah.
So how did you feel last year? I mean it's still going on now.
Last year it was like this thing where it was like female rappers are keeping hip hop alive, Female.
Rappers are holding it down for hip hop.
But then when I look at the rappers, I'm like, I don't think Rahap City fits in that.
How did you feel.
It's a unique physician. I think it's beautiful because it's so many women. We never seen it like this on this stage before, like especially with social media, so it's exciting because you know women. I think it was like an all female lineup for like a hot summer hot ninety seventh. I've never seen that before, So I'm like, wow, that's beautiful for the space and women, but it's still not enough variety and harmony when you look at it.
So it's like, but you know, we still got a long way to go, because this can't be the only thing that we make the reason why you're successful.
Yeah.
Like, so that's where I was at. It was like, Yo, I'm not trying to dog nobody, but at the same time, like I gotta advocate for myself and others who have other stories to tell, Like, you know, I don't see us, you know, as one of those ones that people are like helping to push this beautiful resurgence of women in hip hop in the forefront, you know, in your face.
So it was like, yeah, it's great for women, but on the other end, it's like it's nothing different than any other thing American sell sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, you know what I'm saying. Like, So that was it.
Did you feel like your pen wasn't being respected? That was one of the reasons you wanted to walk away?
Nah, not necessarily, my it's respected by the right people. It was just like people not listening.
Yeah, that was it.
Like I said, I see comments. They'd be like, don't look at it, but I like to look. The psychology of people is interesting to me. I see, I see all. I would see all the conversations, and I'm just like what people say about me, what they think, And I'm like, oh, you never pressed play. You don't have to like it, but I know you never pressed play, and really sad with it. So it was just like, man, what a fight.
What's the what's the comments that bothered you the most? Like there's always one that sticks out in my mind that motivates you when you wake up in the morning.
That motivates me, that pisses me off. I don't know it was, I just see it. I I would just take notice. I was I was in a space of healing. Charlmagne, like, you know, I could tell you older things, but now it was just a place of like I could look at it and observe and I didn't have to be emotional about it. I could just be like, Okay, I see where you are. You know, you got some growing
to do as a human. But it would be things like, you know, one of the conversations is between mostly the guys, right, the guys that I would see mostly is like all the women do is shake they ass and dah dah dah. You should be rhapsody, Like that's the thing, Like I'm the standard and other women like all y'all only bring up rhapsody when y'all trying to put down another female. So I'm sitting in the middle, like I see both sides of what y'all saying, Like, don't make me the
standard to put down nobody else. I ain't never with that. But at the same time, there is something to be said about why don't you women tap into Tierra wat rhapsody or like Kaylee forty seven, like where you know, does it have to be that you need something to somebody to tell you that this is who you should
pay attention to. Yeah, so that's what it was. It was like, you know, because you don't have to be me, but I know there's a lot more women that don't get the opportunity to get the support, you know.
And then like, if you're trying to appeal to men, why not listen to one? Why not like listen to what the's men are saying. And to be honest, what you I've been put on by your music by men like my brothers, my father, and my cousin.
And then when I.
Got this, well what before I got the job officially, it's before to everybody, I got the job and I didn't have it yet.
I was guess who saying he would bring you up a lot.
It will always bring you up, big supporter, you're Yeah, but I always heard about you from men like you have a big male.
Fan base and they like to hear you spit that shit.
Yeah, and that's crazy because I would I tell people that, Like I would see comments they be like, if y'all support Rhapsody, why you're on buy a record? I'd be like, I got a big male following. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. So that was I don't know, that was
just part of my fight. And then too, like another conversation I would be thinking about was you would see like especially when it comes to women and the sex appeal would be like it's empowering, and I'd be like, yeah, I could see how it is for sure, Like especially when Kim came up, and you know, it wasn't a thing like she made like it's okay to love our bodies, but it's it's so one sided now, and I'm thinking, like, is it really like this is a conversation me and
somebody else were having and they brought it up, and I was like, that's a great point. Is it really empowering if a man is writing it?
Mm?
Because if but there's women that right their own, but a lot they're men penning it.
Let's just be realtriarchy.
It's still the patriarchy, Like, you know, we try to take ownership because we the face of it. Or is it really empowering if it's not your story, if it's not your words, you know, like, it's just a thought that I'm just like, I would love to people to explore that thought more because I you know, I have conversations with some women and they'd be like, yo, rap, I love what you do. Yo, I want to rap like this. I want to rap like that, but this is what they like. I'm just like, you should do
what you like. She'd do what you want it. That's my only thing. Like, you should be able to show up how you want to show up. If it is sexy and if it's real to you, then do that. But if you're doing it just because you feel like this is the only way that I could be successful, and this is I see everybody else doing it, so this is what we gotta do to make it. That's whack to me. You know, I don't feel like you could be all the way happy for doing something that's not true.
You think a woman can take off and wrap without a male code sign because.
Yeah, I think, you know, we have so many resources if you make great music. One thing Ninfe always told me, it might take you longer, but people can't deny it. So it's kind of like either down for the marathon or not. You know, that's everybody like man, woman, It don't matter if the music good is somebody gonna find it eventually. But I think you can, like, but you gotta you gotta make great music and still be on your brand and in marketing and you know, all the
little things. But I do think it's possible.
Because I always think about how dope it would have been if, like the way embraces the sexy red, Kendrick wouldn't embrace.
You in that way. This thing, I think that goes a long way.
Sometimes no it does, and he has you know, Complexion was an alley to Ali big alley for me.
But yeah, and then a lot I mean, to be honest, a lot of embracing from like, you know, older generations. I noticed a lot of people like the embraced people that can't touch them.
You get what I'm saying, Like.
They will embrace people that they know cannot touch them. Yeah, beat them lyrically, can't even I'm just gonna throw you in because you're popularity. You've got the big platform right now. You would there what they want to be like, you're playing into what you know, pussy money, drugs.
All already cool.
So I'm gonna take you under my wing, you know what I'm saying, just to keep me in the game.
Attached. But that's a real thing.
That's crazy.
It is a honor though, to be the bar.
I know, it's so like misweighted because it's like everybody else. And then Rhapsody, you feel like a pressure at all because you are the bar?
Nah pressure, No, only because it's real to me the things I talk about it. I don't like I'm gonna do this because I do it because I want to, you know what I'm saying, Like I care the things I say I care about, So it's not a pressure in that way I will say, like, sometimes I think about, like, yo, if I wanted to have fun and just do something to show people the side of me, like I like the club too, like that's I'm a well rounded human being. And then I'd be like, yo, those are the times
I feel a little pressure. It's like you don't have room to do that because nobody else is talking about the things that need to be talked about. It's a lot of people having fun, so like, okay, we got enough for that. Who who's gonna be the voice to make sure we talk about those things? So that part sometimes I'm just like, yo, I would love to let people see what a fun album for me, Like I'm just having fun.
I mean I think with the albums, maybe your intention is different, but I feel like you can still do that.
Maybe give us a tape.
Yeah, I started one really, Yeah, I explore you know, a turn up take. Yeah. I call it my my ignorant album. Ignorant and I mean that just by the beast, Like, but yeah, I wanted to do something that was that that side of me because I haven't shown that side.
Yeah, so you haven't shown this side either of No, please don't cry.
I started working on three albums at one time. Yeah. I called Sherry. I was like, Sherry, that's the co president of rock Nation, So I want to put out three albums in one year. She was like rap. I was like, I need to show people all sides of me. She was like, no, absolutely not. We have to give proper attention and support with the albums each So I was like, Okay, how.
Did this album should because I've heard you say that this album has brought you the most peace you've ever seen. How does the album this raw and vulnerabile bring you peace?
It brings me peace because it's it's the most me I've ever been. I'm so fearless now again, like I'm I'm neo, like unplugged from the matrix and living my reality. So that's like everybody's been asking me how you feel, how you feel like the album's about to come out, and I tell them myself, I'm at peace because I have no expectations. I'm not thinking about I need to do this amount of numbers, like yo, what's good? If do we need to do this? I'm just like people
like it or they don't. Yeah, I made an album that I was happy with and I shared things that I wanted to share that with for me, like so many albums, I would shine a light on the world, and this one was like I need to shine light on me and so to be able to like because I'm so private and I protect myself in that way and I held so much and I feel lighter because you know, I'm I'm so confident and again I'm not
afraid to just share. I was afraid before because I was afraid of judgment, what people would think, like you're not perfect, You're not always the good girl. You have disappointed yourself and some people. But it's like it's okay, we all do at some point.
I like that that mindset to have. You don't have any expectations. Charlemagne said it a lot about like his books, events, all of that, like people. I will hear people that are you excited about like the we just had the second annual Black Effect Podcast Festival when Atlanta, and someone's like you, are you excited?
He was like, I mean, I have no expectations.
It's either you know it was it was big, Like it turned out big last year. It's gonna do that this year. I mean, if it doesn't, it's like I like to have that. I like that mindset. I'm trying to get there. You can get the Girl's Coy show like you're ready, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm always like that.
People love you for you.
Yeah.
And when you like really, I think take that in and hone it. It's just like I just gotta go up here and be myself.
And I ended up doing it.
I just can't ever be that calm before the show.
Is the nerve? Yeah, I think that's could just you care though. Yeah, I still get like that before shows normally when I go on to show too easy and make me I'm like, yo, you too relaxed? Yeah, well mess up, So that just shows you care. I don't think that's too bad.
So what pushed you to the point of wanting to live, you know, like this much in your truth and be this transparent.
I wanted to grow, you know, I had gotten out a relationship when I started this project and healing from that. You you know, therapy, you realize it's never about the person's about you you. So once you like start to sit and ask yourself these questions trying to figure out how to heal from the relationship. The relationship is over with. It's just like, oh, what are the mirrors in front of me? What are the things about me that make me feel you know, incomplete or all the things? Why
do I act like this when this happens. So it was like an onion. I was just peeling back, pelling back, peeling back, and I.
Was just like crying, crying every time.
Year was crazy. Yeah, a lot of solitude, a lot of tears, a lot of praying. And I have a beautiful village. So my homegirls would tell me, like, yo, you your next phase is you gotta let people see you the human party. You gotta be vulnerable. And so I love a good challenge. It was hard, uncomfortable, it was not fun, but the other side is so beautiful. So it's like that you really got to let yourself sit in the fire and burn. And some days I was like, man, am I gonna feel like this forever?
But now.
I was going to ask, like which specific experience led to, like the journey of self exploration and self acceptance.
So it was a breakup. It's like my life album.
Yes, it's a lot of my life, alle pieces of it. Your relationship was dope, though, Like I learned a lot in a relationship about even how to begin this journey. You know, they was back to back relationship. So I got out of a long one, I had a little time that got in another one.
But the second one was just a rebound, really.
You I mean, yes, that happened, but that that wasn't my my experience.
It was.
The one the relationship that impacted me the most. I wouldn't have become the person I am now without that relationship. So they gave me like the starter pack tools you know, to figure out. They say people come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime, and there was definitely reason in this. I think it could be multiple things. So yeah, you know, but once it was like now you're on your own, you by yourself.
I was like, oh, I gotta do the work work, you know, is are you ready to answer those questions though, because this album is going to be having people ask a lot of questions.
About Yeah, some things that I shared, Yeah, yeah, some things I'm okay with and some things I'm okay with, like I gave you what I gave you, some things a a metough, So you know, there's some things I'm okay with talking about and as others. It's just like you don't need to know the rest.
You talked about unplugging, and you also talk about it on one of them days that you sampled Monica Bier sample. I kind of wanted to know what was the inspiration behind it. Did somebody like piss you off? And then you heard the record and you kind of like went to a daze, like talk to me about that?
Nah? It was like having my conversation with my homegirls. She's my homegirl, ran a biddy, she was a poet this stuff. On Eve she was texting me, she was a list of things people need to know. What makes you mad, what makes you sad? Who you in love with? Do you like to have sex? Like she was?
I was like, right, when you have too many friends? That you got too many friends? That's doing the works?
Come on now, why like how you.
I screenshot? And I was like, okay, So I'm in the studio writing on the white board. I'm like, what are all the things about me that people I want to share? And now was just Aquarius like very you know, personable person, but my social battery goes down really fast and I don't want to be the don't call me I want to talk you like that.
I'm very much like that.
I just had a conversation and they're like earlier in this episode like no, I don't like.
It's turned off now. So it was just like, Okay, that's a part of me that I want to share. And especially too because of the pandemic, especially I spent so much time by myself and I was healing and my friends would hit me and I wouldn't probably would hit them back for eight months and yeah like eight months, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was not quarantine.
Yeah like nah, you know or if I did it? Yeah, No, I was not hitting people back. You had to be like in a really really really close circle for me to talk to you during that time.
Gotcha.
So and it was just like I heard the song, so I was like, Yo, that's the perfect flip because that's exactly how I feel like, don't take it personal. It's not personally, it's a me thing. And that's where that came from. Like I knew and I wanted it to feel feel good and not sad, because the very first version of this album was it was heavy and sad, and I was like, I don't want to make something that people can feel, but they don't want to go
back to it because it's too heavy. So it was like, let's lighten it up.
What was it like writing when you was unlearning?
Like those habits and those beliefs and those behaviors that didn't serve you no more?
Man, the writing was so easy, Like when I tell you things were poor, it was pouring out like it's probably the best writing I've ever done. And I think because I was healing and unplugged and just not have no expectations. I didn't write to have to prove anything, you know. Before it was like I'm trying to make my way in the game of trying to get the respect and all those things. And it's like, when you
don't care no more, you can be profound. And I think that's somewhere the best music that you can make, you know what I'm saying, Like the simplest word. They don't have to have a crazy metaphor, but people connect
with it. And I was like, because I was listening to Lawrence Unplugged a whole lot during this process, and I was just like, she don't have like a lot of crazy double ntag and all that, but the thing she's saying hitting because they just real it's profound lyricism, and I was like, dag, that's what I want to work on. But yeah, it was It was just easy because I knew myself too. When you're healing and you know exactly who you are and how you want to
show up and like you're finding yourself again. I wasn't creating through anybody else's perception. Like earlier in my career, I had nine, I had grew, I had a beautiful village, and because I was so unsure and not confident, and you know, we was trying to figure out, like, yo, how we gonna get you to this next level? Like you know, they would be like, let's do a song about this, let's lie about this, and I'd be like, yeah, okay, that rap and it's nothing wrong with like the intention.
It was beautiful and now it's just like it was just all me what you feel.
Yeah, I love I love when rappers rap about things I've never heard before on records, right, So that's why I loved mister Ryland the big step of so much, Yo, I'm please don't cry. It the same way you got a song about dementia, which is something that impacts so many of us, Like we all have a loved one that you know, stuffering from dementia. I had dementia. Like what made you want to speak on that?
Because it was it was such a big part of my life during that time. My aunt, who's my mom's sister, oldest sister, helped raise me. So just like all my
aunt's like my second moms. So when she got diagnosed, it hit me like, yo, my grandmother had it, but you know, to to sit with somebody and see it progress, it was just it was like a It's like, it's just a big part of my life and it affects me so emotionally, and it was just like I want to talk about it, and because I do, know so many people that go through it, and that's just I was just everything I was feeling. I was just putting on paper, you know, And I think people need that,
but that that's just what it was. Like. I think about her all the time, you know, every time I go home, that's the first place I go sometimes before I stop with my mom. And this last time I went, I was there for like four hours. We was talking, laughing. I think the last hour somebody came in the house and they was like, you know who that is? She was like I don't know. I was like, damn, yeah, yeah, it's tough. It's tough. And you know, I think about
my cousins who's as her kids. So it was just like, you know, a story that I wanted to share, Like, if you want to know me, this is what I go with, This is what I go through when I'm with my family.
Your grandma got to matory yea yeah.
And that's why I say that definitely hurts out.
My father gave my grandmother U birthday party and he DJs and he does karaoke and she loves to sing and dance and all of that stuff. Right, and I came, me and my little sister went and she ain't even know who I was like you know what I'm saying. She and I can you can tell? Yeah, because she don't greet me like that. You know, she called me Jade or or whatever, and she was just like, oh, how you how are you?
How you doing? Just like I'm like, you know, a regular person.
But then my dad, we like our favorite song to perform karaoke is Utfo rock sayning rock saying, so you put that on she she instantly knew who I was, and she came up. She said, where is Robin?
Robin is my mother.
I'm like, I've been here for two hours and you just now so I'm getting smart with her, but my grandmother is a fire crack.
At the same time, She's like, yeah, where is your mother? Ad I don't want to see you. I want to see Robin. You know what I'm saying.
So I still treat it the same way, you know, because she wouldn't want me to treat her like, oh, Grandma, it's gonna be okay, Like we've never been like that.
You know.
She still hard on me and all that type of stuff. But that to relate to that that it does hurt.
It's like a.
Hard, hard disease and go through like the mind goes and the memory. Yeah, you know, but same thing. My family is the same way. Like I remember the first time, like she was really doing things where I could really see it, because I could always see it before, but I was I remember the day and my other aunt came over and we were just talking about it. She just said she busts out laughing, you know, like talking to pictures or whatever. I like, I was in my feelings.
She started laughing. She's like, girl, we got laugh to keep from crying. And that just changed me. Like so it's beautiful to see, like how the family takes care of her and we just whatever she on that day, we just all a part of it.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
That's good and it makes it a little easier, but yeah, it's it's tough.
Is it true? You credits and not late with helping you.
Finishing it. She's singing, and I'm sany thin can sing, like yeah, yeah. And when I worked we worked on the movie On a Come Up in twenty twenty one, and she brought me on to help with the music and coach the actor. But I got to see how much of a music fan, especially hip hop, she was, because like I'd send her demos and stuff. She tell me about the beat and what she liked, and I was like, you know what you're talking about. You know,
we talked about music a lot. But she was a big part of the healing process for one, right, you know, healing goals and phases. So she had put me onto this course it's called how to Bemagnetic dot com or whatever, and I did the course, and it was so instrumental, like meditation, like she helped me get through over the hump.
Yeah.
So we was in New York at a premiere and she was always asking about the album because you know, we talked about pretty much everything. And she was like, you're not finished with it yet, just like everybody on the edit that like, I'm still not finished. She was like, what's taking so long. I was like, I don't know. I said, I feel like it's too gray, like I see music and color. Sometimes I don't know. I think it's too gray. It might be too sad, like I'm
just overthinking it. I could do that sometimes, And so she was like, play me some songs. So I played like three or four songs and she was like, it's not too sad, It's exactly what people need. Finished the album. And because she said that, I was like, okay, and I finished the album. Other than I probably would still be recording right now.
I believe I believe that you. I do love having Felicia on the project.
I thought that was the full name.
Yeah, yes, okay, I know what I.
Was talking about.
Sell it out.
You have Felicia Rashad Narrate and I love on the intro the only way out is in?
And do you even know who you are?
I'm like, this project really takes you on a ride, but you having her narrate, I feel like it was so vital, just because as a black woman, you know, she's one of the ones that we looked.
Up to do, to Cosby, even to night Lathan.
I feel like, yeah, hell Erica, you got the holy girl black woman. You know what I'm saying on this album. So it's it's just been fire. But how did you connect with her?
It was It was a lot easier than I thought because I was like, I think big, I'm gonna always go big, and I'm like all they can say is no. So I was just prepared. I would tell my manager. I was like, if she doesn't, we can't get hurt. And this person, this person, this person, back up. But my manager got information on her manager and they just she sent her a request and at first they were like, we want to hear some music. And I was busy at the time, but before I could even send it,
it was two days when they went by. No.
I didn't no, no, no, you That's not what happened.
I was to get you know, the song. I'm trying to figure out what exactly the sender because the album went all the way done. So I was like, you know, I was moving around, so it was maybe two days later. I was traveling, but I think like they asked for the music, and then I think the next day she was just like yes, you know, I don't know if they google, I don't know what happened. But I was like,
my mouth was on the floor. I was like what And so I wrote out the parts and sent them to her and she recorded it and she's so good, like I just I wrote out my part in her part and she did it on a voice memo in her hotel. But she's she's just so good, like you hear it. But I chose her for that, you know, for the very reason or what she represents to the black community. To us. I was watching The Matrix and I was so intrigued by the relationship of Neo and
the Oracle. You know, it was like that was the journey I was on and how she got it him. So when we were in the studio and I was with Black Odyssey in Austin, Texas, they helped executive produce the album with us one, They were like, how are you gonna put pieces together? And that's what I thought of, And she was the only voice that I heard.
So, so what's her color?
When if you say the album was black and white at one or gray at one point, what was her color coloring it?
She got to be like a brown, brown, orange, yellow, warm, very warm the light. That's that's what she represents.
Yeah, you know, so what color is the song?
Like Diary of a Mad that's red.
I see blood, no hesitation, blood on the floor.
Depressure of that record that you said. You know, people always like, oh, that's the stereotype.
Angry black woman that you like owning that?
Like, I got right, Yeah, we'd be mad sometimes when I was. I was, you know, one of the questions with what makes you mad lyon niggas, Like and I just thought about every relationship I've been in and there's be some lying niggas, and so I'd be balking before like I learned how to communicate or whatever, like you know, I'm super chill, but when I go there, I go there. And I was thinking about I was like, oh, I used to yell all the time. It cuts people out.
I might throw a chair not at them when they leave, you know, Like so I was like, yo, this is And when I was creating this out, I created it differently. I would get on Pinterests and I would find pictures. It would be colors, palette sometimes or words or just photos. And with Diving Mad Uh Diary of a Mad Bitch, there were two photos. It was one of a dovermen growling and I was like, that's how I feel. Niggas
be messing with me like that. And then it was one it had hands and honey was dripping down really slow and I was and I showed the honeymoon that s one. I was like, what does this sound like? And that's when he made the beat and it sounded so angry and aggressive. The drums he did them in reverse, so it sounds like it's sticky pulling. And I was like, oh, this is my mask song. Who I'm mad at? Nick's so yeah, I own that, I be mad, I'll be masked.
I really like how you're using the Pinterest images to create the sound.
I love a good move board too.
I do that for everything.
Anytime I got to like execute something, I need to see, you know, help and for the vision in order to execute. So that's that's dope. And also just outside from just the music, I love the interview that you did with Ericabadu, very very dope, and it's just it's just real, like you and her two people that like we can look up to and chime in and get like a direct reflection of us back. So seeing you guys have a conversation was dope. But what inspired you guys to have a three Am combo?
To have the conversation that was really part of the rollout, like we did it in chapters. So got with the label to my management team and they were like, how are we gonna tell this story to the people? And we had a plan of like the singles we wanted to release. And I was sitting at home during the holidays and I I called Sherry. I was like, I'm the single plan we have, don't it doesn't feel good to me cause it was like raw. First, it was
like everybody know I can rap. Like they got to see something different, they got to see the human part of me. And so I was like three Am has to be in there. You know. It was like rap is back ars unveiling which was standing tall and then Erica three Am was unconditional, you know, learning to love yourself. So we we knew, like it can't just be music like people like rap. People don't know about you, so
they have to see you have conversations. And so we knew three Am was gonna come out, and we was like, we need to have a conversation piece about it. And she's so good to talk to. I felt like it was something to have for people to go back and reference because there's so many conversations now men this, women that and relationships and you know, it's just like, yo, what happened to just love? Even in music like a lot of sex songs? What about love? And that was it?
Like I just knew, like, well that's the chapter. So that's that. That has to be the conversation. But Erica is so insightful and wise that I already knew she from Drop magim No from out of this World. Yeah that the.
Room as queen mother goddess.
Right there, I would cras me both.
That's why you tweet no such thing as female hip hop?
Yeah, I don't like that.
What is that elaborate on that?
Yeah, it's it's just hip hop. Like somebody they try to rebottle me like, there are women who make songs specifically for women. That's called an audience, sir, audiences women, But what she does is hip hop. Like when you when you label something, labels are just there to separate us.
So if you labeling it female hip hop and you're putting it in a category with this is just for females, and you're looking at it a certain way, it's like, no, they do hip hop, they rap, but their audience may be mostly women, you know, And and I just hate the separation and labels. It's already hard for us. It's just another form of sexism to yeah, you know, like I don't make female hip hop. I'll wrap for everybody.
You get it or you don't. And my you know, my fan base shows that got men, women, older people, younger people. It's just that's what it is. So it's like, we're not about to do that, and I'm gonna advocate for it.
You do address it a little bit on Asteroids because you said if I went basically got to be in the rape, if I had to dick. I feel that way too, So there's a lot of sexism still in it because I'm like, there's nothing that these guys are doing that Rhapsod is not doing better. You're not gonna tell me you don't listen to Rhapsody and just hear somebody barring motherfuckers up.
Don't be trying to hear me because you don't got a dick, ain't got you, ain't got to hit.
Hit of the dick.
I'm gonna just be real with myself. It was superficial, like that stuff matter to them, you know, because it's they've been programmed to think that now that people people don't know how to think for themselves. So it's like if it ain't got mad numbers of chart and it don't matter.
Like I disagree because they don't mention women in the greatest debates. Ni not she shouldn't be, but Nicki's not in the Golt debate. Lauren's not really in the goat debate. They acknowledge them being dope, but not like the dope dope rapidly they are.
Yeah, that's why we got to change that. You're out of here we in the debate. Baby. I just saw Lauren perform on Jimmy Fallon. She spent a verse. I was like, my god, when it was yeah, I don't know if it's gonna be on anything, but if you go on Jimmy Fallon, oh man, you just gotta go listen to the verse.
What problems you to the address questions about your sexuality? Understand tall records, because it was.
It would be conversations throughout the years of my career, and so it was like things that I internalized to like the way that I dress or whatever. People assume things about you or because you have you don't know who I've been in relationship. I'm private, so they just assume who you are. So it's just like, let me just address it head on. Then you know you hear it from me.
You said the judgment saw me.
They wonder if I'm gonna eat the Kouchie fan all because I choose the style and sneakers and some baggy pants used to make me aggie. You want to blackout like the Aggie fans.
I heard that line.
I thought about not yo, of course you did.
You. Of course you did the same, same, same, That's what I'm yo. I'd be like, it's like if you dress like this, oh you do not like men because you're not catering to men of what we think or what we think men want to be catered to, and now the conversation I'll be seeing men having it, like yo, we miss having some imagination about it.
Do you hear me?
That's why I'm like, Yo, Y're gonna show us everything somewhere listening to the man if with these new you know, newer brands of women are trying to uppeal the men all the time, listen to them. They don't always want to get online and see titties and are listening and misplace belly buttons and all that, Like they.
Don't want to see that all the time.
Like I'd rather not even see a stomachies.
Like you know what I'm saying.
I feel like more.
Difficult to be taken seriously when you were trying, like if they're focused on trying to get with me or trying to bag me or like you know what I mean.
So I would rather just be the bro.
I rather look at me and just want to push me forward to what I'm actually trying to achieve.
And you're trying to.
Be the sexiest ever, like when you are out of bro, but when you are like in your most natural element, like you know what I'm saying, You're not caked up, You're not like that is naturally pretty to me, Like you naturally pretty to me. That's how I dress on stage. And I can bake anything in the show, you know, but they want me to be a stud real bad.
You know what I'm saying, shut up.
Showing three four to cloth. That was showing your stuff off, Like that was.
You fly as hell. I'm gonna affirm that to you. And yeah, and it's it's not even just in music. Like I hear women in the business they say, like I sometimes I cover up just so I can go in the meeting. We can have a straight on meeting. I ain't about to do that. But yeah, it's just like everything is a full displays. Like you know, I like to I like to have you guessing, like you know, the days we do want to pop out and be.
Like damn, like yeah, let that reaction.
So it's you know, it's yeah, and it's not comfortable. I like to be comfortable and just be real with them. Hills hurt my.
But you know, also it's like a weird it's a weird like social pressure because it's like, all right, in the workplace, you got to be respected, but then like with your homegirls, you know, you still want to embrace your into femininity. But then you know, with a black household, it's like, whatever you do, don't be a whole, don't look like a whole, don't embarrass me like a whole,
don't do anything, you know what I mean. So it's just like, all right, how do I juggle not embarrassing you, but being myself but still embracing like my femininity that I'm growing into, you know. So I like how you talk about it, because it is a journey, you know, to get through. No, but just don't act like black parents, because I'm sure you just to like, I'm sure it's too short change not yet.
I haven't had to say that yet.
No, yeah, it's coming.
It's in your back pocket, I know.
To say, that's how people are going to perceive.
Yeah, I think you're gonna I think, no, you you're gonna jump out the window and say you're dressed like a whole. Say you know what, baby, I don't want you to think your whole, but you know, other people, Yes.
That's it's how I dress. I would say something like that, you know, but that's not a part of him.
No, no, no, no, no, No, I don't think so. No.
I was just saying, like all the pressures from different capacities and then trying to balance it and figure out who you are throughout that.
Because you want to be respected. You want to be respected.
Even the women who don't, I mean, like who go to extra out of show all, they want to be respected. They just want to fit in so bad, you know, and keep up with what you know they think is the standard.
You know what I'm saying. But they just be wanting in respect.
But you know, it's hard to have both. You know, women, it's hard to have attention and respect.
It's hard to.
Get attention and respect at the same time.
It's like you got to pick. Well, that's how I feel. What do you think.
I think it's it's easy. You just have to know who you are and show up as that confidently. You know people people can see that and they respect it and they attracted to it. That's what I think.
You know, Like, it's not I need to be respected straight off the rep you know. And and what was that when you said and it's a girl, big attention with respect.
Yeah, I just said that the same.
There are some people who might show a lot more and get a lot more.
To what kind of attention I guess is the question that's true. You know what I'm saying, what type of attention are you looking for? And that that changes the answer. Yeah, good point.
Very excited about your packaging. Your promotion is crazy.
Always got a creative way to appeal to your fans, like when she does past the and she we always have your music show. We're saying it was like show tell us, like little creative ways that you be like.
Like that one time.
Yeah, like the shirt, Yeah, the T shirt. Like I'm like, okay, that's creative. Shiit she that's dope. That's how you really know who youre connected to as well, like your fans are really loyal to you.
It's one of my favorite things about putting out an album, Like the music is of course, but then it's like, all right, that part is fun, like with how we gonna roll this out with this one. I watched the movie Air. I don't know if you've seen it. No, it's it's about yeah, it's about yesterday.
I'm sorry.
I was so inspired by the branding and marketing of it, and it was just like it ain't about the shoe it's about the person wearing the shoe. I was like, I called the team. I was like, I want to roll this out like a Nike ad for a shoe, but with the album, how we gonna do that? And you know, we really want it again, Like I was in the place of like free, like I'm not worried about Billboard or nothing like that. It's just like, let's
just focus on the fan base. So you know, we just made them up part of it, and we just told the story from that way, just being organic and the ideas were just flowing. My mind worked like that. I can't explain it. But yeah, I'm glad people are being filmed too.
I can see that. Yeah, thank you.
I just guys, got a couple more questions. I love to stand tall record and I understand Tall records. You talk about the challenges of living with anxiety, yeah, and the difficulty in finding effective solutions because you even mentioned how the doctors struggled to identify what was what was even your issue here?
Well, they identified it, I just didn't accept it. It was a journey. Like I have Graves disease and thyroid disease and I was diagnosed in two thousand and nine ten. But before that, probably from when I graduated high school uptil maybe I was late twenties. I would wake up out of my sleep running for the door, like because I felt like, I like, I can't breathe, I'm about to die. Somebody gonna find me because I'm not about
lay in his bed like. I would just get anxious, and it got worse and worse, and it was one day I just I had lost like fifteen pounds. I got down to one hundred and ten pounds. It wasn't exercise and eating whatever I wanted, having more panic attacks, and so I was diagnosed. And I used to think the anxiety came from there. They'd be like, don't drink caffeine, you know, to make it right. And I'm doing all these yeah, and I'm doing all these things, and I'm
you know, I'm still getting anxious. Like now, it's just not at night. I could just be driving somewhere and it would just hit me. And you know, when you have anxiety, if you feel like you're really about to die, yes, I would go to yard, called it the ambulance, and they'd be like, nothing's wrong with you. Go take a tones's gas or it's just anxiety. Do you want anxiety medication? I'd be like, no, I'm not taking that. And it got to a point where it was just like I
have to that doesn't work. So I had to figure out a way to calm myself down instead of working on myself mentally. It would be like I'm gonna drive to the ear. I'm gonna just sit in the parking lot until I calm down. Because for me, it was like, at least if it's really something happening, you're right there. So I would do these things. And a friend of mine they were like they were with me when I had a panic attack on time, and they were like,
it's nothing's happening to you. You don't understand how strong and powerful your mind is. You're creating that, like when you think about it, you create physical responses. And you know, I sat with him. I'm just you know, they sent me youtubes and I watch youtubes about it. Your mind is powerful, solid. First I had to accept that, right, and I think once you accept it, then you gain your power back. So I haven't had a panic attack
since probably mid twenty twenty. And it was not only getting my mind right and elevating my consciousness and awareness. I was exercising every day. I changed my diet. I stopped eating pork. I don't eat beef for maybe like once or twice a year, you know, drinking a lot more water. And now I can feel one coming on, but it don't even get there because I already tell myself what's happening, and it don't even affect. Yeah, so I haven't had one since.
That's why you said in the rap. You can believe what you choose.
Yep ye. You create your own experiences.
And I just noticed this we eat, we eat each other, that's your label.
Yeah, I.
Wasn't ready to announce it.
Each other Jambling rock Nation.
I'm like, oh yeah, artist.
Album, right, yeah, but.
It's okay, it's now. I could still have my moment when that time comes. But yes, I started. This is my last album on Jamling Records, and that's my family forever. But it got to a point where I felt like, you know, I've learned so much. I feel like I reached the ceiling. And it's like you leave the nest many times over in life. You know, you get eighteen, leave the home, you leave the nest, and I feel
like you do it many times over. So you know, I told going Knife, I was like, I think it's time for me, you know, to try this on my own. So I have a business partner, Andre Mego, who's also an artist, and our first artist that we signed together is Nico brim Nao love it. Yeah, So I'm excited to, you know, introduce that more to the world.
That's why he got his own interlude on the projects.
While he has project Yeah.
Well big ceo rap you know what I mean. It's a pleasure. Thank you for your time as always.
Thank you, Thank y'all for making space for me, thank you for always saying my name your like. I appreciate the.
Love absolutely, Please don't cry.
It's out right now and it's rhap City y'all. It's the Breakfast Club.