I Attend Sex Parties

Last weekend, I attended the first ever Black Effect Podcast Festival in Atlanta, and y'all, it was absolutely amazing. Not only did I have the opportunity to be a part of the Women in Podcasting panel with some amazing women, but I also got a chance to meet tons of new people. Shout out to my professional homegirls for pulling up, Thank y'all for always holding me down and not up. Shout out to the cousins that was in the audience, and last but not least, shout out to my family

I am good? How are you?

I'm all as well? All is cute. I can't complain, you know, I'm really excited to have this conversation with you.

I'm excited as well. I love y'all. All is cute. I'm all cute too.

Okay, it's all about the cuteness. Okay, keeping it cute, y'all. Now, please describe what a sex party is and how it works.

So, a sex party or a play party is basically when a lot of open minded, free you know, free thinking individuals come together.

For the purposes of I want to say that it's.

For the purpose of like networking and meeting other people with like similar interests.

And during these.

Parties, people might, you know, you might meet a new partner, you might change yourself with some partners, maybe you just watch the way that it looks. Often varies depending on who you are, but in general, I want to say it's like a networking event for people with you know, same interests.

Sexual interests.

Oh okay, okay, because I'm like, when you say networking, are you talking about like not business now, I mean, but that happens, but that could happen.

Yeah yeah, but the I guess the main purpose is sexual interest.

Okay, Now do you think sex parties are still taboo? And if so, why so?

I want to say fifty fifty on this because I do believe that in this eraror, people are like more open with their sexuality. I Also what I've also noticed is that people are more interested in sex parties, like they want to go.

They're like, I don't know, it's I feel like it's much.

Less taboo than it has been in the past, but it still is tabooed.

I feel like in New York is very common.

Right, And that's why I'm like, I don't know if this is just because I'm a New Yorker, so it's just like you.

Know, you know, at like I don't know.

I feel like I can invited to one of these things damn near every week at this.

Point, right, and I feel like anything yeah, right, Like it's.

Not even people that I know it, Like if you random motherfucker be like what is happening? Like do I have really, Yes, girl, I was in a whole other country and people was asking. But that's what I'm saying, Like I was in another country and people were like approaching me, asking me.

So that's why I think it's less taboo.

Because it's just like mm hmm, I wasn't doing anything particularly like I don't know, I wasn't doing anything at all that screen, like that screen like, oh, let me invite this person to a play.

Party right now? Are there different types of sex parties? And if so, which ones do you go to?

I don't. I'm actually not sure if there's different kinds.

The different kinds that I know, I call them the safe ones and the unsafe ones.

Okay, I prefer the safe ones.

But when I say there's there's safe ones and unsafe ones, I feel like some of them they have where there's like there's less rules and my rules. I mean, like you don't have to get like check for forehand, or there's not like condments available. That's not like Russian roule, right, So like those those are called the unsafe ones, but then there are also but then there's the opposite where you know you're getting checked beforehand.

I've seen ones where you have to get a background checked, like that that.

One was, Yeah, that that one was like they were on it, on it. But I also it's it's much more of a pleasurable experience knowing that like all these things are available and that you know that everything everyone went to a process, and that everyone in the room, you know, is safe because not everyone has those conversations that everyone's comfortable with asking people.

Of their status and things of that nature.

So I don't know, to me, it's more comfortable, but I guess now that I'm talking about it and thinking about it, there's also like impromptu shit because I like to hope. I like to host events a lot, and I've noticed that some of my like regular vanilla events have turned you know, a little wild. I do so I don't host, I don't host play parties, but I do host gay nights. I used to do gay nights like throughout the city, and then some of my game nights will get a little wild at the end.

Learn something new every day on the Professional Homegirl podcast something knowing this girl for how long?

Wow?

But go ahead, learn something new every day.

I think it's just my personality.

I feel like I make people feel like very comfortable, So I don't know it should just be happening.

But I also feel like with the safe parties it brings out a certain crowd because I feel like when you have less restrictions and rules, it brings out a whole different type of crowd that I'm pretty sure a lot of people are kind of like, Eh.

It's true.

So I've noticed the ones with a lot of rules and like a lot of things that you need to do beforehand, it's often a professional crowd.

Like those are the parties.

Where I'm usually around doctors, lawyers, people from shreet like those part those are how those usually come out. And the ones that are kind of like not just easy breezy, right, let's see what's gonna like, what's gonna go down? Those are usually like someone.

I get into, I go taking an argument or somebody happened often right right that part, but it doesn't happened often.

But I will say that I've seen that more at one of those parties than when that was you know, more organized.

M hmm.

Now have you noticed any changes in the sex party scenes since you've been going, And if so, what are they.

Not?

Really?

I think no, not really it's still no phones, Like I haven't been to any where phones have been allowed. It's still be respectful, it's still always asked for consent. Yeah, no, I haven't really seen a big difference. But I also haven't been doing these for a really long time. I won't want to say, maybe three four years enough time.

Really, what's been the same for the four years of and involved?

Now, how were you introduced to these parties?

So my man, my man, my man, my man, my man.

Bless that man's heart. So one day, this fine young man decides to tell me that, like.

Yo, we're gonna go to a party. I'm like like right, I'm just I'm just like okay.

And then the outfit he got us was like we had like this mansion outfit with the Halloween party. So we have this mansion out that mind you. I will disclaimer. I have been I have been a part of a lot of like group sex things, so like a bunch of people in the room having sex at the same time.

So I've had I guess, but we didn't switch partners. Nobody was switching partners.

It was just I've been in like I've been in rooms with like five couple of times set at one time.

And you're having sex too.

M hmm, Okay, I've had people like watching, so I just wanted to prenote that I've already had those experiences just.

So people don't be like dam ye man, he set you up right, So and he was aware of this.

He was aware that I've been in these type of situations. So anyway, s flashboard or whatever. So it's a Halloween party. He's like, yeah, we're going.

To the party. I'll get to our little sex.

And I'm just like whatever, it's Halloween, Like, I'm not thinking too much of it, right, And we.

Drive hours It was probably like a two hours drive.

Wow, right, like upstate man, not upstate.

It was younger at the time.

Yeah, that's by two hours.

So going on quick whatever. We get to the front door.

He rings the bell or whatever, and he looks at me and he says, I just met these people last week, Like I don't know, I don't know who's crooky at So I was the first like what is happening? And then before I could even say anything, the couple opens the door, right, And it was funny too, because the couple opens the door and there they have like the same outfit that we have one that was funny.

Oh, it's giving swingers.

So we go in.

So my party, you know, I'm like, I'm from the city. Like I've been to a bunch of parties. You know, parties, there's usually a bunch of different people. Want to see singles, you're gonna see couples, You're gonna you want to see a bunch.

Offer it's a party.

It's a party. And this man told me that we were going to a party. I walk in. It's nothing but couples.

Mm hmm.

So I sit down, I look at him. I'm like, I'm whispered. I'm like, where are we And he was like, I think this might be a sweater party.

Like this is like he's whispering back because like I think we're in a sweager party. I said, what's our rules? He said, what's your rules? I said no rules? And he was like, I got no rules.

Oh okay, come on, let me out.

And communication is important, Like if you ever go to one of these things and you go with your partner, communication is very very important.

You need to figure out those rules.

Which we're going to talk about later, because I feel like when you do go with your partner. It can go good, or it can go left real quick.

You have a whole lot of fun, or y'all could be arguing on the way back home, right, you want to have a lot of fun. But yeah, so what so we're playing games or whatever, but it's not no freaky shit has happened, like it's real regular. Then at some point of the night, the host is like, okay, this is part two.

Like I'm like part two. I'm like, what is happening?

He was like, you know, the games are going to get a little more risky, like you know, if you're not comfortable, please let us know if you would like to leave now, Like you can leave or you can say just watch you don't like He's like explaining all the rules, like you don't have to participate, You don't have to participate, Please check in with your partners before touching.

Anyone can please ask their permission, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Right, so now I'm like, okay, like I've never I have no revealing and like an environment where like it was so structured.

So so then yeah, so that's happening. We start playing.

I believe we started playing like True for dere Oh, we started playing True for Deer with like.

Jungle blocks or whatever.

So now people are getting lap dances, people just doing a bunch of stuff.

But it wasn't I think that party.

Was like an introductory party because people wouldn't really get it into it.

Get into it. My little freaky ass, I like I started giving.

So at one point, like a girl had gate like was sucking all my brust or whatever.

That was like one of the deers.

And then eventually like so now I'm aroused, right this girl don did this to me? So I had went So now I'm like sitting with my with my man or whatever, and I just like it in the head. Your boyfriend life was yeah, my boyfriend because everyone else was kind of like doing their own thing.

For me, you was probably putting on.

A girl so that my boyfriend like taps me to stop because like the host was like staring like boom staring at us or whatever. So he's like tacking me. And it was his first time, like period ever doing anything like this. So like I've had it, like I've had these like I guess, unstructured experiences, but he's never like done anything like this, so he was just like like stop stop, stops to stop.

Or whatever in the case is was he uncomfortable or like nervous or.

I guess he just didn't want someone staring at me, Like he's very protective over me, so I guess he was just like finding the moment he was like okay, like now stop because he was staring at you.

Right.

But then that night, though we didn't like, we didn't play with anyone really like we we did have interactions with this one girl, like because she on my breast, I touched on her.

But by this time people were like starting to like get into rooms and stuff. We were like we loved Yeah, I wasn't feeling it. Not that we weren't feeling it. We just just like, okay, we're done. Right, Well that's what. So that's what I often tell people.

I'm like, you can be like very experienced, like you can go to these things all the time and just decided that you don't feel like a sax saurday, like right, like maybe you just.

Wanted to talk to people. Maybe you just wanted to meet people, because the last one I went to I was like that I was just like, oh.

I'm not really interested in like partying today, like I just wanted to talk mingle and then like we we we played a little bit, but not in the sense that we had like intercourse with like actual penetrys right right right.

So how do you decide whether or not to attend one? Like are you like selective when it comes to certain play parties, or like do you go to them a lot?

I wouldn't say a lot. I would maybe once a month somehow I skip a month.

It's really whenever they pop up and get invited to one one that actually while I got invited, one that's coming up this Friday, or we're not going because we're on the best of space.

Good Friday Vigilation.

I didn't even realize that they planned them for Good Friday.

Listen, don't even get me started. The time is going byself fast. I didn't even know it was Easter, child bro.

I was surprised because once passed away today?

Who else whatever?

Right?

All these holidays? But what you gonna call it? I feel like I typically go because everyone who invites me.

I have like strangers to invite me or people who are just dressed meth to invite me.

But the ones that typically goes so I feel like I've known the people for the little bit mm hm. So I'm just I'm comfortable.

I'll be like, okay, whatever, And how do they invite you? Like they tell you and give you a link, or like they'd be e.

Btes okay, yeah, I'd be right ulate e bites or just be like a text okay are we doing this? Typically, like I'll get like a text beforehand because some people like some people like to like here the people who are going to be there, not pare them, but like they want Like one time I went to one and he wanted like more like professional like people in the professional field there. So he had like only asked people

Then there's he sounds like he very like hands on with it.

He's he like he plans them out like he really thinks about stuff he thinks about people's personality because he also doesn't sometimes people personality is just clash, right, so he keeps that in mind as well.

He also takes like so when I go to play parties, I.

Typically only mask with women, So he also keeps stuff like that in mind, like he has to balance that out because there's at least one woman who's not going to be participating with guys.

So right, like there's a bunch of different stuff.

Mm hm, Now how do you how do you approach safe sex practices such as condom use and regular testing.

So I'm paranoid, right.

No, because my friends make fun of me because like what time I got tested like damn near every other week, and it was just like, you know, that's pointless, right, And I was just like I don't care.

Yeah, because that Sh'S like gonna show up, chaw. I think it takes a little minute for something to show up.

That's okay, So let's just be like, well, I don't care, I'm out safe. So it's funny. So I used to I've grown up. I'll stop doing that, but.

I'm gonna be honest with girls like I've never used like potential damn or anything like that.

I want to ask you, like, I mean, I've never been with a girl before, but I feel like with girls, like do girls really use protection?

In my opinion?

No, Like I've never in all in all my living years, right, I have never seen girls use protection with each other. And I'm not saying that that's a good thing.

Right, it's not.

And you're also not saying that all girls don't do this. Some girls do use protection.

Right, but I just never I've never seen it, right. So, and then it's so I'm gonna tell you something like now that I'm talking to you, I'm gonna say something silly.

So like I'll I'll have a girl eat.

Me out or whatever, no protection or whatever. I'll eat her out without protection. But then I'll make my boyfriend use a condom to penetrate.

But the fluens have already.

Swapped, Like Yo, bitches are annoying. Now you ate some box, but you want them to put a condom? You might tell let him at that ship raw.

I don't know. In my head, I'm just like, oh.

You, but he don't be saying like, oh, you need to put some of your mouth before you eat her out. But what what goes on the mouth like a plastics no goes on the china and you looking at watch something like covering it, but it's not the same. Does it feel good?

I've never done that, I mean.

Because I feel like the contact is so close, so we might as well just do it face to uh puss girl.

I don't know. I just to me, I've never done it. Maybe I should be doing it. I need to look into it. This conversation has a light in me.

I mean, we're here, now, how long you been doing this? We passed that point. So even though we do promote safe sex, y'all.

So yes, please learn how to use it. That's so good, y'all, learn how to use that's so good.

But we've had like people that we frequent, like we like needed a girl at one point, like we didn't use protection with her, like everyone would just get tested and we would have conversations about.

But she was your girlfriend, right, but she was your girlfriend?

Yeah, So with that.

Like.

I just with that, I feel like it was the three of us. We knew what we was doing, so we wouldn't use protection. And we've also had a unicorn like a girl who like she was like free to do whatever. And she would just keep open communication with us, like if she was, you know, seeing someone else at the time, or if she started having row sex with someone, she would just let us know.

And we would move from there. So it's it's really communications are a really really big part of this. Yeah, to give it to talk to people.

You know.

I did an episode with someone, a young lady. She is known as the I want to say, as the Godmother of swingers, and the conversation, Yeah, the conversation was so amazing. It's like deep in the catalog, like I think,

Yeah, And it's frequent conversations as well, because something that was okay last month might not be okay this month.

Yeah, And just a lot of factors getting like you might get in a different space, something might have happened, Like so many different things come into play with this, and also like yourself, like as you're growing as a person, right I low key feel like I'm kind of like outgrowing up parties kind of now, like I don't get as.

Much enjoyment out of them. M M. That's random. Like I'm not sure.

I feel like I'm very much in like a settling down phase in my life right now.

So it's like I just kind of want to like.

Focus on one thing, but it's not I don't want to like stop going and I'm not. I'm also not saying that just because you're blocked in with your partner, that does they mean that you can't go see these things and these things make you less than But I think for me right now, in this moment of my life, I just kind of like want to focus on my partners, focus on our goals and kind of figure shit out. But at the same trump, we still talking about going to them. So it's like it's fay faty, but.

I don't know.

It takes time, Like it takes time to go see these things. Work has to be put into it. They are often themed, so oftentimes they are the themes. So they got to go buy a costume or buy outfit and if you wanted. The girls who don't like to repeat off, it's like me, like you're constantly buying these outfits, but the thing like it's just another thing on my plate, right, So I think I'm just like, oh my, I don't really want to do this, like this weekend.

I mean, yeah, that's money, right, Like I'm just like for.

Something that like, I don't know, you can't I mean, I guess you can't recycle launch, right, but certain things I'm like.

I mean I don't know.

If you got a good night and that piece of drawers, baby, I might not be able to.

Recycle those, right, Like all right, you see what I be.

Right, Yeah, after a good night, I just have to throw them away, hang them up.

Like you you served your purpose? Right?

So are drugs and alcohol available at these parties?

Yes?

Yes, yes, yes, yes yes so typically so, but it depends on the party. I've seen parties where there's limits, Like so if if someone feels like you've been drinking too much or taking to drugs, you have to sit out or they'll like call you a uber home or something.

I have seen that. Yeah, okay, people they want I love it.

Yeah, the ones where there's lots and lots and lots of rules, like some people be like, oh, isn't it lots of fun?

Know the fuck is not? I feel so safe.

Yo, I'm having more fun because I'm so comfortable. Like I'm like, yo, shit, go last stuff. They have my back, like I know someone's gonna happen, right.

You know.

What's so funny? I wonder if the host is really enjoying themselves because they have to be. They have to pretty much monitor the party and make sure that everybody is having a good time, but also everybody is safe and everything is consensual.

Mm hmm.

I've seen hosts that I feel like they look stressed. They don't not that they look stressed, but.

I can see that they're busy, like that's a big responsibility.

They're checking in on people every two seconds.

They're they're making sure people have like enough like I don't know, bob or toys or whatever, like if things are being given out, Like they're constantly checking in on people.

I've also seen hosts.

I guess I maybe it's the more seasoned hosts, right that I've seen, like they're they're kind of more balanced, like they're able to play and kind of still watch the room. They'll tap into other people to also watch the room, so there'll be like several people that you can go to.

Those are a little bit Yeah, those are.

The company ones too, when there's multiple kind of like multiple holes because you don't just.

Have to go to this one person and you feel like you're wading someone.

Yeah, imagine you sucking the hose and you got the bust and nut and the nigga's down because he sees some ship that's about the.

You'd be like, what the fun.

Could you imagine?

I've never seen that, but I would be so upset, like.

You almost at the peak, like.

I see some hocking sexual Oh my god.

So wait, are the people that are attractive.

So deef thesis right, So I've been to ones where I wasn't attractive to not.

A damn soul. I've also so this.

I feel like I've seen it's a fucking trend. No no shade to nobody.

But all shade, all teeth.

Oh.

But I've noticed like sometimes I'm the youngest person in the room. There's a lot of like older people don't and like just to me, they're not that.

Don't be an age just now, I mean, but what do you what do you mean by older? Like I don't so like because you're in your thirties.

Yeah, I'm in my thirties. I want to say, like they'd be like fifties.

Yeah, they'd be like fifties or late forties yeah, or mid forties. But remember I started going to these in my mid twenties, right, oh, mid twenties, going or being around people that's in their mid forties, I'm like, oh yeah old Like.

M h, it ain't not attractive.

Something of that.

So I'm like, I know, I'm gon attracted this to like one host, one host's wife, like she's a little baddie. But then everybody else I'll be like yeah, like I'm not, like I'm not interested.

How do they come like, because I feel like if I was going to one of these parties, like I'm gonna come on point, like I had to be the baddest bitch in the room when I step in, Like, like do they put effort in to themselves?

So it just be like no, they definitely put effort into themselves.

I've never I've never seen like someone who dressed flocky like everyone.

Yeah, like people be having.

Like they make up all okay, some people be like people be bare faced too. So I've been to like like extravagant like playing parties where people like are done to the tea, and I've also seen white people who like you know.

Bare face or whatever comfortable but they still look like very presentable, right. Yeah. But I don't know. I just don't be attracted all the time.

But then I have been to parties where it's like nothing but like just beautiful people like all around. But I want to say, more often than not, I find myself in parties where people aren't that attractive.

Mm hmmm, I know you be tight. I do be tight because people like.

While'll be here so you won't miss with any men only women only women. Yeah, but why not men.

I'm just I'm very much like my man is my man, and that's like the only penis I want.

Have I thought about it, yes, but I've never. I don't know.

It's just it just doesn't do it for me, like I don't I can't imagine double penetration, so I can't imagine like I with another guy, all right, I also and then I just can't imagine like being with a guy outside my partner. And then and then I'm just like wildly attracted to women, but I'm not in a relationship with a women. But like let's say, let's say my partner with a woman, I probably I probably wouldn't keep dealing with women. I'm probably would deal with a man like at the parties.

Oh, I get it, I get it.

So I guess I just don't double that on the scene.

All right, right, okay, I understand. So what kind of conversations do you typically have with other participants before engaging in sexual activity? Like do you do small talk with the bitch? Or like yeah, or y'all just get things popping? You know, she opened a leg up.

Right, So so funny enough, I feel like I typically have conversations with people I'm not going to play with, but I might still find them attractive. But like, I don't know, I just rap. Sometimes conversation is very stimulating for me.

Right, So as you know, you deep chaw, I am, I am a little deep.

We got like a whole conversational like crystals and like all this other stuff, uh talking about like.

Like when we first met, we was on the phone for like I think two hours talking about some of the deepest ship.

We were talking about selling souls.

Shurecause that's stimulates, right, so so then I could do that.

But then, like I remember, like the last part of y'all.

Went to like I just walked up to go. I was like, can I kiss you? And she was like yes, and then I kissed her and then we just we should started, but.

We had no conversation, Like he was attracted to her, like you liked her, Yeah, I liked her.

I liked her like she was like Amazonian, Like she was not tall, Like was she pretty?

Yeah she was decent. I'm not she wasn't like, but.

Don't be trying to flex on the show.

Now, come on, now, I'm really not. I'm really not. I'm really not.

But so I tell people this all the time, I'm less attracted to like physical appearance and more attracted to like confidence.

So like walked into the room, Yes, oh my god, that turned me on. So clearly give me a napkin sis sorry about it.

I can tell Yeah, she get a little fluster, but she was gonna see I gave you. You end up kissing her.

Randed up kissing should have given me like a lap dance. We start going to each other's b us. She like play with my jina cous see whatever was like eating me out. It was like it was the time, but we didn't really talk like it was. I didn't get her number at that end, like we might never see each other ever again.

I was just about to ask you that, like do you keep in contact with the people that you meet or it's just a one time thank you ma'am and were good.

For me personally Half the time, I'll keep on contact with these people, not only the people that typically keep on contact are like hosts.

Okay, well obviously yeah right, but like.

I'm typically like friends with the wholes and something type of capacity, like we can keep key and be on the phone.

I've never I've never made a friend with anyone party, but I've seen people do it, like people make friends.

Are you open to that or nah?

I am I'm just not a very social person. You think I'm social, I'm really not. You're social with me, but I like you, but I like you.

So what kind of impact if any has attending sex parties had on your sexual preferences or desires.

See, I don't really like this question.

I'm gonna tell you why because I feel like my preferences is.

What makes me go to the parties, not the other way around. M hmm.

Like i feel like I've always been into king, Like I've always been into the like bed bds, some stuff like bondage.

I'm very submissius, so I've always been into that.

And I think because I've always been into that, I like, I look for things that relate to those right and like and parties came with that. So I've never went to a party and was like, oh, like now now I'm suddenly interested in this thing.

Like no, I've always been interested and now I'm not a party learning more about it, you know what I'm saying, right, Yeah, but I wonder I'm maybe apparently I've turned a girl out. I wanted them, so she told you good.

Yeah, she was like, I've never been with a girl before, like this is my first son. And then her best friend like confirmed it because her best friend was also there and she was like, yeah.

I've never seen her. What she what you do? I ain't do shit.

I really I promised you I'm just talking. That was one of the girls I was just talking to, Like, I was just talking to her, and then she started, like she started kissing.

She did not ask, She did not ask. I mean, you didn't stop though, I didn't stop. But she had me.

You're aggressive, I'm like this, but she probably was nervous.

Maybe maybe, but.

Like I could also tell that she had a girl before, because even like right, she like bit my vagina.

She did it. She did good.

You should have punched it.

I was like, it's okay, oh my god, I mean she lying.

I'm sorry. Anybody that's been with I feel like if you if this is your first time being with a girl, like I'm not eating box.

On the first time, Okay, that's you. She lying?

She being a girl before.

I don't think so, because any girl would have told her, please don't ever bite, like I mean, actually, let me not say that, because people have different preferences.

Maybe there are people a true like the deep bet.

The first time she was ready to go.

Down, yes, job, yes, oh my gosh, but you got a party like this was random, Like you know what I.

Want to ask you? Where are the parties at? Like is it that people houses or clubs.

Okay, people, I believe I've never been to town, but I believe there's clubs in New York. Yeah, you know, there's like houses dedicated to it in New York. Like I've heard of them, and people haven't buying me.

I just haven't gone yet. But and then some people have it in.

Their houses or in their apartment, and some people runs house spaces. I like it when people runs out spaces, but it's pretty like people like do it all right, the fancy ones.

I do want to go to a club. I just want to go and just see it because I feel like I, you know, just from doing research and like talking to so many people and having so many different type of friends in my life. Like I heard the clubs be like popping and not even on like some and not even on some sex shit, Like it's just be a vibe there, like it's really like a legit party.

No, I've heard the same. I just they be costing bread. O D they costing bread. That's that's why I don't be going.

And if I'm paying that much money, I've been a bust of nut.

Yeah, and some of them you need like memberships.

I'm like, that is I heard that too. Facts, facts you need like a membership. So do you have any type of boundaries? I know you said earlier that you don't, but you so you don't have no boundaries boundaries when you go into these clubs or parties.

For my partner, you're saying like rules.

No for you, Like do you have batteries for yourself? Or like.

What do you mean by a boundary?

Like do you have any like like are you pretty much open to anything or do you have like certain things that you wouldn't do, Like I know you're not really interested in men.

So yeah, so that's one, like I don't mess I won't mess with a man unless I'm single, unless i'm dating or woman at the time. But not really, it's really just the moved that I'm in for that night, right, because like I said, like something I've gone and sometimes I don't participate in much and then I've gone and we participated in a lot.

But it really depends on my mood.

Mm hmm.

Yeah.

And what was the best night that you had at a party?

The best night I was I was with my partner and we have went and we met this girl.

She's really pretty. She had a fat ass. I like ass. I like titties too.

You like body? I like body. I do. I'm very like.

Visual Yeah a body girl, so like body, YadA yaddy.

So yeah.

So this girl she had her ass was fucking around in fact, and she had like nice titties and nice nibbles and.

Child. I love to be like wow, but like, wow, you sound like our friend straight up go ahead.

It's funny because people don't. People believe me, Like they be like, you're not fine. I'm like, I might like women more than I.

No, I definitely think you like women more than men.

I think I do too.

I think when it comes to family, it's all about your partner being a man. But when it comes to like that intimacy and like the overall feeling and stuff and the attraction, it'd be women for you.

Yeah, I do, like you know, when I'm on the street, I rarely ever check out men.

I'm always checking out women.

Like, but women are pretty to look at though, Yeah.

I mean, but I feel like straight women or like there's also somebody sexual woman. I feel like sometimes like they be looking at me, like I've heard like my homeegirls be like, oh, look at him, he's so fine look at each other, and I just like, I look.

At I ain't seen the fine nigga yet. Really, I haven't seen the find again so long.

Oh maybe man are slacking out here.

Yeah.

I mean it's I've been seeing a lot of pretty women. I'm like, oh, that's a beautiful woman. She's mad pretty. But I have not seen a niggy when I be like, oh my god, nigga's fine, Like, oh that's unfortunate.

Yeah, you've seen any other side. I haven't seen one in a while. After the last party I went to, I've seen the fine one. He was fine. I was staring at him like I with the with the Amazonian goddess. It was both of them. I was like, damn, I look like God, not zeus. Oh my god.

Okay, so the best night. So he saw Shorty saw Shorty.

She was interacting with my man at first or whatever. They was talking, they had started kissing or whatever.

So a real nigga pulled up.

Yeah, he's like, step aside, nigga.

So I come over all, keep tea or whatever, because I'm also I'm not I wouldn't consider myself sexy.

I'm very like cute, like and goofy.

So I feel like that's another thing why people be comfortable abound because I'm just a google.

So I go around like, oh, like can I have some two or whatever? I said something corny and then she was like, of course, and then.

She did the she did like the States palm, like you know when like they got me by the kind of things and they.

Pull you and they she did it. She did what she did it to me.

So we started kissing or whatever, and so we had like some toys with us, and like it was just to night, like it was just I don't know, the energy was real good like and she was just beautiful. So that was my best night.

Now, have you had any negative experiences and if so, how did you handle it?

The most negative experience was I was at a party with my partner, and my partner, like me and him were not in a good space, so like I kept looking at him and I was just like disgusted. As your partner, my partner, I was looking at him and I was disgusted. So I didn't really have fun that night. And so I suggest, like, if you're in.

A bad space with your person, y'all should not go. Y'all should not go because that's shit.

You're gonna think like you can handle it and it's gonna be fine. But like and granted we've been to these things already, so it's not like, oh I was uncomfortable with something happening. It was just because we were in a bad space. I was like, like, I like I want to I'm like sucking piece of shit.

Shit. That was like my worst night.

But then there was another one. I guess it was just a funny night. Like we was having a three somewhere a girl and.

He just couldn't get hard for her. But she was beautiful. The girl was beautiful, like and she's small bay nothing, but like like no, because you know, like sometimes you could be beautiful, but if you smell.

I mean yeah when twadden right, like day yeah, but he yeah, he couldn't get hard like with her specifically, like because when he would like switch back over to me, like he would get aroused again and then like he would try to like mess with her and like specifically with like penetration, Like he just did not.

Say hard for her, And I was like, I was like, I'm like, hmm, what's happening here?

Like, right, does he enjoy these parties.

I don't know. I don't know anymore.

Yeah, because I feel like y'all go to these a lot or y'all been going to these for a certain amount of years, and especially with that situation like you got too fine bitches in front of you, But that might be a lot though.

I definitely especially for not sweat because I'm he called me the quote unqute for anyone. Like he's like, Yo, you always want to do some ship. You always like doing all these sexual things things that might be.

But he's never expressed that, Like he's never he's never said those words like oh this is intendating or I'm not comfortable. He'll say stuff like oh, like I don't need to go to these things, like I do it like for you because I don't you enjoy them. But yeah, because he he definitely like he's never like I was his first street, so like he's never had a three before. So it's so interesting though, because that that's something I would say, like people to all, I don't want three songs.

I'm like, oh, you was asking for this right though?

Be real limp, Okay, they can't.

Or they panic, or they just don't know what to do. They don't know.

Do you think he's gonna stop going with you soon?

Or I don't know because I think he's more into it now.

Mm yeah, why he's in it, I don't know because.

Not asking me.

But before it would be me asking him, like it would be like, oh, like you like, has any come up?

Like has anyone hit you up? Now he's the one asking me like has anyone hit you up? Or are you interested in going? So I feel like he's getting amble.

And the last one we went to he was like on his own, like he wasn't like I feel like before he would like stay kind of like near my hip, like he always wanted to be.

Next to me, And now he's just like exploring.

So I'm like, Okay, does that bother you?

No?

I just don't like, don't leave me completely alone, like right unless we like, unless we have like a conversation like me, if you dip off into a room to like have sex with someone, that's fine, Like one time, he like the thoughts that like have a conversation with someone.

And left me alone and I'm just like really good, like right, like wrong with you. But that's just more so like I'm very much like I like being protected. Like so it's just like, oh, you wouldn't protective like you would to make sure you wouldn't make it what are kidnapped?

Like kidnapping? I'm not dramatic. I'm a dramatic.

I'm like, I'm looking up for me in a truck and you would not have no because you was not in the room or you I wasn't in distance.

Of I was like, that's something I would say. I'm mad dramatic.

So wait, so do y'all have any rules as a couple or it's pretty much like he can just do what he wants.

He can do whatever he wants. I'm a watch like I like to watch. I love to watch.

So I actually prefer when he he doesn't like this this, I will say he doesn't like because he always.

Wants me involved. He's like come here, like he was like come here, come here, Like I'm just like a lot like yeah, like I want to see my person in action, and I also like seeing my person being pleased. So well, I'm asking what do you ask me? You asked me if there are rules?

There any rules?

Look, you got me, Yeah, she reminiscent Chia. But rules. Yeah, so I don't mess with men. He also wouldn't want me messing with the man, right, which won't call it?

You okay with him kissing the bitch? Yeah, because you know, some people don't like their man kissing another woman because that's very intimate.

No, I don't mind. Like he's given girls head in front of me.

He's kissed girls, so really, I guess for me, the really only thing is you got to use a condom for penetration.

Does he like to use condoms for penetration?

Well?

Other people?

Because like I feel like he has more fun when we're dating someone, like when we have our own person, because he can fuck them wrong like those girls, he can walk wrong.

I feel like he prefers that. But yeah, I don't know. I just I don't like the idea of you fucking somebody wrong that you met tonight. Again, I don't like that.

Just now, you know, you sound like a little hypocrite, Now.

I know, I know, because we.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's gonna find her a professional here and yo, crying.

I've got a probviously, I have not the pro is going to talk as coming from my guy. Yeah, because this bitch got the fucking nerve, y'all. It's you crying for me. Oh man, I'm crying. Oh man? Yeah, alright, man, come on else got it together? All right?

Now?

Do you think that attendany sex parties parties with your partner affected your relationship in any way?

Well, we were going on to them like frequently. I feel like it made it better.

I feel like it made it so much better because I feel like our communication wasn't always so great and it forced us to be better communicators. And we were also learning like more about.

Like sex right together. Yeah, And I don't think I don't know how everybody but for me, I don't.

I wasn't really having those conversations like when I get into a relationship, I'm not really asking like I mean, I guess like I'll ask like little stuff like.

This feel good, but I'm never like, hey, like what area of your body do you like to touch?

Or like even like paying attention to cause a lot of it is like this sensual play where like you're really exploring people's bodies like, and I'm also like learning from Oh, I guess I kind of release to your question from earlier.

But I'm also learning, like I'm learning from other women, like things that I take away from the parties, right cause like I don't know, like I never.

Like, I like, I'm goofy, so like I've given lap dances as a joke, like let me radimly give you a lap dance while you're watching the game.

But like these girls, like I used to, I don't love watching them, love watching them.

They look like strippers, Like they look like professional fucking dancers sometimes, like the way that they was giving you lat dances and being so sensual.

So I pick that's something I learned from them.

I'm like, oh, like that's not just something I could do when I'm being goofy and joking around, like.

That's a partner everyday life.

Yeah, yeah, like I never I never even thought of it.

I know how to tap into my sensual side now if I want something. But I think this also just plays into with your charisma or just being witty or just being a woman, like just tapping into your woman's side and like you know, get doing what you gotta do. Get what you want.

I started picking up so many different steps, like touching someone with like just the very tip of your nail and just going up and like that's not something like I used to do that with my finger, but like with the very edge of it for your nail.

Right, wonder if apparently, like would I never do that?

I feel like if I'm like in a relationship and I like that's my nigga, Like I feel like I try my best to like ask questions like what do you like? Like what turns you on? Like what can I do to make you more happier when it comes to you know anything?

Oh, nigga, I'm self fished because I was I was doing before attending these parties.

Now I do like now really before, No, I'm clearly you gonna get what you get.

Because I also feel like I'm very I'm very confident in my sex game. Like I'll say, so, I'm just like, why am I asking you what feels good when everything I've done already?

Right?

I think you know what's so funny? You make a

Maybe it's something that comes with age.

I think so, because as you get older, your body gets older, you start to want to do more things. Are you more both to different things or you know, you be with different people and they like different things, they introduce you to some things and get that thing banging.

Yeah, yeah, I feel like something with the parties, they're they're showing both of us because like if he's not that experience because also girl, like I said, I'm learning so much, Like men be thinking they're so experienced until they realize that they not so experienced. Like just because you've had sex with multiple people does not mean that you're experience, right, it's the act of actually trying new things and being comfortable with your skin.

And also knowing what that person like, Yes, because everybody's body is yes. And trust for sure, because if I FUX with you and I trust you, like we can do whatever. Like because sex is supposed to be fun like. So, but I feel like when you don't have that that communication, that trust, that's a dub. Like when I trust you, I don't know, we might have to we might have to get a little test, a little pregnancy test.

I'm having a good time I'm having.

But that's not supposed to be It's supposed to be fun like, but it's definitely involved trust and communication for sure.

Mm hmm.

Big the two biggest things, two biggest, biggest things. Like you also trust that your partner has your bag, yeah, that they have your best intentions at heart, Like you guys need to communicate what's okay and what's not okay?

Right, So, how can someone find out about sex parties? And what's the process for attended one?

So and so when I first first started, like that, that very first one that we went to, like we didn't even know right, right, But now there's like all these different.

Apps so I feel like it's so easy to find, right.

It's it's much easier to find now, right, I'm actually trying to find the name of one of that I can't remember.

The we ain't doing no free promo.

Oh, we're not doing free promo.

Well, there's apps, y'all find the apps also, regular datating apps.

Just put it in your profile. People will hit you up, like if you just put it in your bio. So yeah, you could do it that way.

And then when you actually go to one, you're gonna meet people again networking.

Just putting yourself out there, mm hmm.

You're gonna find out.

And then just being able to like open honest communication with people when you're out because, like I said, I was in a whole nother country and.

The things that transpire, but we was also having like open, candid communication and conversation. So mm hmm.

Conversation rules the nation. Yes, And what is your advice for maintaining privacy and discretion when attending sex parties?

So I know we for a long time we use fake names, but we stopped doing that because I don't tell you why. At these things, everyone's kind of on the same page. Nobody wants their business all. I'll a lot of us have like careers, like career careers, right, so like again, like phones do not feel allowed, Like you can't take any pictures, you can't take videos. A lot of it is what happens here stays here. So people aren't saying like, oh, I've seen Vanessa and George

And things for that.

Can you get banned if that was to happen.

Yeah, you can.

Like so someone like let's say you took a picture without someone's it like shows up. You will not fee allowed, you will not be Yeah, you're not invited to another party.

But I've never in the four years, I've never seen that happen, Like it's.

Never gone out of hand where someone's trying to host something or tell people's business.

Mm hmm. And what is your advice that you would give to someone who's curious about attending their first sex party? Because when I put this up on my page on Instagram, when I tell you, the dms were crazy. Everybody was super excited. About this conversation. Really, I said, just give a PHGF the dark child.

I'll be careful. You're the AGA eighteen careful out here.

But definitely have a conversation with yourself right like, really think about like what am I going to be comfortable with?

What I am not going to be comfortable with. Definitely have opening, candid communication with the host. Let them know what you're comfortable with and not comfortable.

With, because they'll put you in areas where you're going to feel the most comfortable, and they'll introduce you to people who's going to make sure that you feel comfortable.

So let's say the first time that you attend, you just want to watch.

Just make that known at the beginning of the night or tell the host beforehand. They'll make sure that that's all that happens. And if they see you participating in something, they're going to check on you. They want to say, hey, I know you had.

Said you just wanted to watch. Are you comfortable right now? And then you know you can speak to them.

You can also have like a cold like a little co word beforehand that's made just in case, like because some people also they're not what's the word I want, they're easily influenced sometimes, like they have a hard time saying no, so those.

Co words are helpful for that, or they don't want to be the person that saying no.

Exactly, So it's helpful to like check the whole your your host, the host is your best friend.

The host is going to make sure that you're good.

So I definitely recommend that you get close with your host during your first party and then you know, go there with open session, have fun.

I also don't suggest that you do a bunch of drugs and get drunk.

I don't suggest that I think that you're you're your best when you're sober, especially when it's your first time.

You know, if you want to.

Drink a little wine and get like a little tips, that's yeah, Like if you want to get the bus, that's fine. But I don't suggest you get drunk or in coherent, because I don't want anyone doing something and they wake up the next morning they regret what happened or they feel that they was taking advantage of. So you want to you know, you want to be clear, clear minded. And then some of these parties, you know, people do do a lot of drugs and people's not really want to do it.

It's great when they are, but sometimes they don't.

What type of drugs are you doing?

It's a lot of weird I've seen. I've seen cold, I've seen molly. I've seen someone taking perks before.

Oh, nigga, not coming off no perks now, right, he.

Right, nothing.

I've seen like people drinking a lot, not that I know, girl, right, go ahead, now, that's it.

That was it. I really don't know, y'all. Let me stop playing with y'all. Give these women a feel war.

Yeah, listen, that's the whole purpose of these conversations, because you don't want to go into a situation blindly think you're about to have a good time and you just like what the fuck is going on? Because people do do a lot of drugs like these. We're not all these parties, but people like to have a good time.

Yeah, And honestly, I haven't been to many parties where people are getting like like Odie hot, like right, It's been a few.

I have seen it, but not most of them.

Know.

Most of the time people are just walking FARSI. Yeah, yeah, Well, I think this was an amazing conversation. It was definitely fun. To my guests, thank you so much for being a part of the Professional Homegirl Podcast, and to the listeners. If you have any questions, comments or concerns or you want to say hey girl, Hey, please make sure to email me at hello at the PSHG podcast dot com And until next time, everyone.

Later.

The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate the show, and you can connect with me on social media at the PG podcast