Grace Under Fire: What Michelle Obama Taught Us About Power

I'm feeling. And hopefully you guys at home are doing the exact same thing as I am doing it. That is the intention, because a lot of times when you're moving, you're hustling, your grinding, you're trying to figure things out, you solving problems for yourself, your mom, your dad, whoever, you don't ever really take the time you need to just check in, just sit down, check in and see how you're really feeling about some real things. So checking in behind the scenes of the Grind. This connects to

the episode a bit. I am feeling very empowered. Now. I'm not gonna hold y'all, I'm not one of them girlies who like it, loves all of the women empowerment brunches, and you know, all the things I think. I think sometimes a lot of that stuff can be very performative. I know people who do it and it's not performative,

but I think it can be performative. And I think the performance of it has taken away from the true essence of like, Yo, I'm gonna get together a bunch of dope people to have a bunch of dope conversations because we all be going through things for real, for real, I mean men, women, black, white, yellow, and different. Everybody goes through things. Yes, it is very different as you start to change the color you're not. You know, I've not ever here at the latest with Laura the Roads.

We ignore that. But when people get together, I think we can solve so many different issues if we were ever able to sit down and have honest conversations about how things made us feel, what we're experiencing and why. And I think Michelle Obama and what she has been doing in her podcast space. She has her own podcast with her brother Craig called In My Opinion, and what she's been doing in the conversation she's been having over there are just amazing. At first, I'm not gonna lie,

I was a bit, like, not skeptical. I mean, it's first, Lady, Michelle Obama, Are you crazy? Right? Like? I knew that whatever she decided to put her mind to after the White House would take off, But I was just a bit nervous I guess that's the better word for her when I saw that she was going to be doing a podcast, because I know in the podcast space, the beauty of it is that you can really, you really can connect with your audience. You can be very real

about how you're feeling, what you got going on. You get to cultivate your guests in the conversations, and you could really lean into who you are and expose so much about yourself and learn so much in real time in front of your audience, if you choose to. I've done the right way. Everything about Michelle Obama in the White House, from the time we first met her when Obama was elected back in twenty eighteen to today in twenty twenty six, has been super authentic. Like, nothing about

Michelle Obama gives fake girly empowerment branches at all. Okay, not at all, so I think my worry it was more of a protection of like, y'all don't deserve my first lady, not on a regular basis, not her thoughts, not her opinions, because all people are gonna do is ribom Park. But nonetheless she has pressed on and you know, she is tons of episodes and guests from everyone from

Taraji p. Hinton to Tracy Ellis Ross. They've had everybody on the podcast, Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union, like they go in and out of entertainment, pop culture, sportscat Williams was there recently. Just a ton of people in great conversations.

And the biggest thing I think that I've been really inspired by is seeing Michelle Obama, regardless of all the critiques in the headlines and the pushback that have come from her having this platform and opening up about things power through as if she don't even hear the noise.

I mean, she was in the White House. She's the first black, first Lady of the United States, so I mean, yeah, she's used the noise right, but I don't know it still just I mean it was inspired in the watch when they were in the White House because they had so much coming at them like Barack Obama's you know, race and identity being questioned, and you know, just the microscope.

Seeing the microscope that is on black people in the world day to day be placed on your president and your first lady is like a very different thing to watch because you would think that with great achievement comes great respects. And I think that there was a lot of respect for Obama in the first Lady in the first family, being the first Black first family in the White House by people, but I think it depended on who you were talking to, and that was hard to watch.

So she's used to it. But seeing her push through, I'm always like, oh my god, my two mantras I have? I have three? Maybe three that possible? What would Beyonce do? Will Michelle Obama go lower, go high with ri Kabad, cuss you out or pull out the incense and then my final one with Easter Ray even invite you to her Red cup yacht party in the summer. Those are the ways, like, those are the boundaries I put on my life when I'm thinking about certain things at certain times.

So it's just been inspiring to see her grow and now she's doing a ton of other platforms, Like you know, she sat down with so many people within this last year, more recently on the Call Her Daddy podcast. So let's get on it into the latest because we got to talk about Michelle Obama and some of the things that she's been able to talk about on this podcast. So in the latest, first up is Michelle Obama sitting down with Alex of Call Her Daddy. And I'm not even

gonna lie. I was a bit nervous because I'm like, first of all, Alex Cooper and Call Her Daddy podcast can get it. Like I know it's a very like pro woman feminist movement podcast, but they get into very sexual, intimate, flirtery conversations and I just yeah, that's not what I want anybody to ever try and have with Michelle Obama. Like,

don't get me wrong. On her own podcast, Michelle Obama, you know, like she gets a little personal, I mean, not like insanely, but she's talked about, you know, the things that she finds Barack Obama, you know, what she finds attractive and what she finds sexy, not even just on her podcast, but you know, just in headlines in different places where she's been and she's been speaking. They their love is very on the forefront, right, but call her daddy kind of gets a little bit crazy sometimes.

But in the conversation, as they very the minute they open the conversation, Alex Cooper makes it very plain and simple. You are not going to the gate nol raunchy sex talk when it comes to Michelle Obama. Let's take a listen.

And I mean, if we're being honest, becoming the national poster child of the least respected person in the world or in America, is the black woman seeing that on a national platform as Michelle Obama gracefully and so fashionably, Oh my god, it pissed me off. Make me think about it. It's so fashionably. Gave these people the time

of day as our first lady. And once I gave these people the time of day, I mean, some of y'all did not deserve her at all, from the fashion, to the elegance, to baby the high roads that she deserved to take. I'm so glad that when she was there, we did as much as we could be outside swinging about Michelle Obama and she deserved every cousin coming off the porch. Y'all did not deserve her whatsoever. But they

get into that almost instantly. I mean, the platform is that, as we mentioned, but that has just been such a big calling card from Michell Obama, especially because she was so publicly ridiculed. Let's take a listen to Michelle Obama on just what her life was like in the White House and what that dragging publicly all the time felt like, looked like, and what it turned into.

worse as we got better. So I understood it as campaign tactics. Right, what better way to beat a moving engine is to try and slow it down. And so with women, what do we do with women? We'd start sort of talking of their strength and their So then

I became I was angry, not passionate. It was a rolling thing, and I attributed it totally to politics, and I didn't write it off to what people really thought, because I had months and months of understanding that the people in those auditoriums and in those school buildings and at those speeches, they understood who I was.

is talking about. Baby, It's it's like the feeling of let me okay. The best I can describe, you know, people be like I felt seen. The best way I can describe feeling seen by watching Michelle Obama talk about being a black woman who cared about her hair, her nails, and her outfits while also put a cape on. It went and saved the world and came home and was mommy and wife every day. For a woman, it's like coming home after a twelve hour day and taking off

your heels and your bra. For a man, it's like coming home every day after working a twelve hour shift. Dinner is prepared, the kids asleep, and baby girl about to tuck you in to sleep. If you know what I'm saying, You know what I'm saying right, It is such a refreshing, like a like you can breathe a

moment to hear her be and she's so honest. Oh my god, when she said she had so much to say, but she wanted to make sure that you know, the clothes and the things that she were wearing didn't take over what she was the messaging and what she wanted

to say. It is like the tightrope that you have to walk as a woman, especially as a black woman too, because normally you're like one a few, one of first Michelle Obama in these spaces so or to reach certain heights, and even if you're not the first person to reach that height at like the company you work at, or with an organization or whatever. Maybe even family wise, like I'm first generation When I say that, I have to be clear because a lot of people talk about immigration.

Now I'm not. I'm not first like a you know, firstborn in the US in my family, but I'm first generation, Like I'm first generation HBCU graduate in college graduate. I am first generation for a lot of the different like just life success that I'm seeing, So that makes me I'm first generation for a lot of other things, just

under those brackets. Every time I mess up something or every time I intend for one thing to happen one way, or there's a you know, you know, like she talked about, like with the clothing, Like you put on an outfit and you're like, Okay, I'm showing up powerful and together

and I feel good. But I've you know, I've been on platforms where it's like you do all of that and when you leave, the only thing people were talking about is what they did or did not like about your your clothes, and it's like you missed the whole message. Do you understand that like this opportunity can and will continue and will and has changed the lives of these people that I'm telling you didn't make it the word I made it to and that is all you care about.

I care because I have to, like I mean, and honestly, it's nothing wrong with careen just because it's a passion as well. I know for me, like I like to look good. You feel good when you look good. But also I'm into fashion. I love the stories that you could tell through clothing. I love using articles of clothing as my story and like you know, conveying how I'm feeling.

I just like showing up looking damn good, period. But also I can't afford to not show up looking good, because the conversation around a black woman when she shows up somewhere hair and not together, clothes not together. I remember they labeled this was some years back during Barack Obama's presidency, but I remember Michelle Obama being labeled one of Barack Obama's baby moms. Let me, look up the

guy's name who called her that. Yes, Fox News anchor Ed Hill had to apologize after he referred to Michelle Obama as baby Mama. You know that fist bump photo, like that moment that we always referred to when we couples goals, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama. He referred to that moment as a terrorist fish jab. So not only can she not show up, she can't even fist bumping and love her man, love on her man, right, Like that's

just not a thing. But there's just always been so much conversation about Michelle Obama and the clothing that she wears and how she wears. And don't get me wrong, the first lady in the White House had there's always a lot of attention to what they wear, what they do, how they present. Very different conversation. Though when it came to a black woman in the first I don't and when I read Kamala Harris's book one hundred and seven Days, one hundred and four Days, I said both because I

don't remember what it is. I think it's one hundred and seven. She talked a lot about how once she got into the White House, just as Vice president. Right, this is the first time that they've ever seen a black woman vice president. Right. How she realized, Oh, this th ain't set up for me. They don't even know what to do with me. They don't know how to talk about me. They don't know how to tend to me, they don't know how to defend me. It was a

lot of that. It was everything was criticized. Michelle Obama got it worse. I don't even say got it worse. Michelle Obama got it first. Literally, she got it first. So at that point, you know, a Kamala Harris kind of had like we all knew what to expect when Michelle Obama and Barack Obama were headed into the White House. If you black, you knew like, okay, great that there we need this. But baby, these people were about to make it try and make their lives hell. These people

they ain't gonna like it. Kamala Harris kind of, you know, she got a chance to see all of that, and I think at some point you would kind of assume that the White House would kind of prepare for those things, especially on like the press side and the communication side, And Kamala Harris talked a lot about not feeling supported by the White House's team, and you know, even down to Michelle Obama talked about her resume and the fact that no one knew it. They didn't know that she

had done all these amazing prestige Ivy League things. She was just Barack Obama's wife, and the first lady in the White House gets that, you know what I'm saying, Like I don't. Honestly, I can't even tell you much about a lot of the first ladies and where they've went to school. Besides Jill Biden because she's from Delaware. I know that, you know, I know her platform, I

know all the things. But just historically, I think women in the White House there's always been, depending on who you're talking to, a certain wayed there look at and critiqued. But I don't think people even gave Michelle Obama a chance, at least with Jill. You know, there was conversation about the things she was doing. Michelle Obama's headlines about you know, people calling her let me read it verbatim at ape and heells there was a a West Virginia official who

called her ape and heels those headlines were bigger. I need to get that officials name, so we can put them on notice right here, right now. But those headlines were bigger than any of the work that Michelle Obama was actually doing. And she talked about the fact that like no one cared about a resume. Let's take a listen to that. How do you know what to do in this role?

whatever you can do right. Michelle Obama talked about how when she was in the White House, because she was getting so much scrutiny because she was getting so much scrutiny for what would wear, she was like, let's be intentional, and that intention honey ate down. Okay. I remember there would religiously be a push for people to cover Michelle Obama's outfits as they do the First Lady. But what was so beautiful about it is when you got to see the outlets and a lot of them didn't even

know what was happening. But if you were on our in side of things, you knew exactly what was going on. Like I would see Michelle Obama like pop up and various dresses and I'd be like, oh, that is fire, and I would go researching and be like a designer from Johannesburg, Makai oh, and a lot of times she like make sure, made sure she leaned it on like women designers like that was like a big thing of

hers as well too. There's so many different lists of Michelle Obama and black designers, but there's one moment, and I know Sergio Hudson also worked with Kamala Harris as well too, and Lawan Smith shout out to Lawan Smith. She wore Sergio Hudson a few times. But the moment that I remember the most is when Michelle Obama popped out the Joe Biden's inauguration when they were saying goodbye to the White House, and she had on that purple baby and that side part was partner and she popped

out with them leather gloves. The girls that get it got it, we knew Sergio Hudson. And what I love about this is is if you're not in the fashion world, it might not be something that you care about, but I'm gonna break it down anyway. When you put on a designer and you're a person like a Michelle Obama, and you have outlets like The Cut, Vogue, Essence, fashion Bomb Daily, all of these places covering, refining you, twenty nine,

covering what you're wearing. That puts this designer in such a different conversation and elevates them, like it literally can take a designer from a person who was like just trying to figure it out because of their life a clothes to one of the biggest designers in the world, especially in the couture space. Because Sergio Hudson is a designer, we've talked about him here on the podcast. Shout out

to Sergio Hudson. We went to his Fashion Week show last season and not last season, last February, I believe it was, or no, it was September. It was last season September, New York Fashion Week. We went to Sergio Hudson's show, and he is so big on supporting black talent. But he talks a lot about people showing up and supporting each other, and it's because he's had so many

people show up and support him, including Michelle Obama. The culture world itself, which he talks a lot about, is not the most friendly, and katuur is like the stuff that is more expensive, harder to get to. It just it's it's it's. It ain't for everybody. It's not the most friendly to black people, people of color in general,

black people specifically, especially designers, models, all of that. So when you got the first Lady of the United States wearing your clothes, can't nobody tell you nothing, These other flashion houses can't sit next to you, It does so much. So to hear her talk about taking this moment that was so I know it had to be so hard for her to this day. There's no way she doesn't still deal with just the cause you begin to like start really thinking so much about everything, like, uh, how

does this look like you? Like you're so timid about things you would never have been timid about even unconsciously, even with her being as you know, prominent and confident as Michelle Obama is, Like, there's no way that you're not. They used to be on her hair, everything. I'm just happy to hear. I'm happy to hear her talk about this every single time. I don't care how many times she talks about it, and anybody has upset about it.

This is not the interview for you. Every single time she talks about it, I'm happy to hear because I think it inspires people in the space, in all different spaces, to just push through. You're good and you're doing something for other people. Like I had read this Essence article. They're the two black women who do Michelle Obama's hair.

They talked about they did an article based on, like, you know, meeting the hairstylists behind Michelle Obama, the former First Lady's hair looks and her hairstylace and the Jerry Roadway and yayin dim two ohfey. I'm saying that, right, y'all, don't be disrespected. I get ever right, name wrong, my bad.

I tried. But they talked a lot about, you know, just what the recognition meant, because Michelle Obama did a lot to make sure, not even did a lot, she just did what she was supposed to do to make sure these women. People knew that these black women were behind some of the hair styles that we loved, and they talked about how it meant the world to them. Here's a quote from the article. This little black girl inside of me is jumping for joy because representation is

representation was always important to her. Seeing someone who looks like you matters. Beauty and identity are deeply connected for all people. I'm proud to be a part of historic body of work that shows how our hair allows us to express ourselves freely. Then they ask, you know, hair is culture, community, and care essence acts. How was working with Michelle Obama deepened your understanding of this? And the women say, our hair is our identity. Helping my clients

move confidently through the world is an honor. The significance that comes from how women responds to seeing Michelle and braids, curls, baby. I remember seeing Michelle Obama and braids and I was like, I know, that's why you better slip them baby, edges, curls, blowouts. It just reinforces that they are seeing. And that's what we opened up this episode talking about people be like,

oh my god, I feel seen. It's just like you know, sometimes you would be like, I need to go and find myself and it's like, okay, you about like basically, you ain't got nothing figured it out, and you're trying to figure this whole thing out and you're probably about to go do a whole bunch of drugs, and that's fine if that's what you do, but you just need to take that time for yourself and you know, go do what you're gonna do over there. We're not jokingly

seeing it when we said about Michelle Obama. It is not the oh my god, I need to gap your feel seen. It is not the oh my god, I feel seen in her. It is the I feel seen, like we really getting down to the shits of like what it is like navigating through the world every single day as a black person. Baby, this family, they are the billboard of it, period and everything that they've had

to put up with. And since it's still rising, Okay, let's end this what Michelle Obama talking about when we go high, and then let's talk about when she says sometimes you get a little bit of medium, because honestly, these last couple of days, I feel like I need to go low. I've been too high. I need to go lower so people can leave me to hellon that.

solve anything. So I think, yes, we have to be a people that keeps going high. Now, going high, it doesn't mean you don't acknowledge the pain, But how do.