Don't be out here acting like a donkey. Hee ho, bitch, it's time for Donkey of the Day. I'm a big boy. I could take it if he feel I deserve it. Ain't no big deal. I know Charlotte made. God's gonna have to honestly sayt his mouth. You gotta say something you may not agree with. It doesn't mean I'm meant.
Get that donk that donkey that don't don't don't dun't dunk donk the other.
Day right here, it's a breakfast club. Bitches.
You can call me the donkey of the day, but like I'd mean no harm.
Donkey of the day for Tuesday, May sixteenth, and make sure it's May sixteenth.
May sixteenth, Frank, Yes, Yes, it's May sixteenth.
Goes to a twenty eight year old Colorado man who has not been named, when he was arrested for drinking and driving, speeding and resisting arrest. Listen, ever so often I have to get on this radio and remind you all of the dangers of drinking and driving.
Why, I don't know.
I can't believe that in twenty twenty three, folks are still catching DUIs with all these ride share you know apps that are available. There is absolutely never a reason to get behind the wheel of a vehicle intoxicated. I know, I I've told you all about the many drunk driving campaigns that exist. Drive sober or get pulled over. Buzz driving is drunk driving. The drive sober, no Regrets campaign that has the billboards with the car totaled and then it says you survived.
They didn't.
Powerful, powerful anti drunk driving campaigns exist, so we can't act like we don't know. But yet you still have folks like this twenty eight year old in Colorado who choose to drink and drive. Not drinking and driving is always donkey of the day worthy. But that's not the only reason this twenty eight y old man is getting donkey of the day to day.
See.
One of the most fascinating things about drunk drivers is they always act like they not drunk. Even when they are visibly intoxicated, they will say they're not drunk. That's why field sobriety tests are so hilarious because people choose to take these field sobriety tests knowing they don't have what it takes to pass them. And most of the time, when you're drunk. You smell like you're drunk, you talk like you're drunk, and you think like you're drunk, and
you have no idea how stupid you sound. But I guarantee never in the history of life have you heard a drunk story like this one. See, this man was drunk, okay, pissy drunk, and the police knew he was drunk out of his mind, but he absolutely confirmed he was drunk when he did what he did to attempt to get out of this situation. Let's go to NBC newsan nine for the report.
Please rough night for at least a driver in a southeastern Colorado town. That's because he tried to switch seats with his dog after being pulled over on suspicion of DUI. Now, it happened in the small town of Springfield that's in Colorado southeastern corner. Springfield police say an officer pulled over a driver going fifty two in a thirty and then
the driver tried to switch seats with his dog. The dog had been in the passenger seat at please say there were also two sober people in the back seat, one of whom the actual owner of the car. Springfield's police chief says he doesn't know why one of them wasn't driving. The driver, who they found in the passenger seat was booked on several charges as two prior warrants coming out of publo. Not every crime comes with a
criminal mastermind, it seems like, no, it does not. Depending on the status of the person who switched the dog may have been a better driver.
Humans are so silly.
I mean, we're just the silly species. Tell me you're intoxicated, without telling me you're intoxicated. You get pulled over for drunk driving, You got two sober people in the back seat, your dog in the passenger seat. Instead of picking the two sober people to switch places with, you switch places with your dog, not dogs, and slang like this your homie, like your dog, the actual animal, the domesticated descendant of
the wolf. You put that carnivore in the driver's seat and look the police dead in AI and telling them your fall legged fairy friend is driving. You know, I think it's high time that we as humans apologize the dogs. Okay, we say things like that man's best friend, but the reality is, if you had a best friend that you lied on as much as we lie on dogs, that wouldn't be your friend.
Okay.
Think about the lies we tell on our dogs. The biggest my dog ate my homework.
Okay. First of all, how come your dogs are hungry? They would have to eat your homework? All right? That should have always been the first response to anyone who used this lie.
Who is who is neglecting and not feeding this mongrel at your house?
Okay, that they had to eat your homework? And how many times have you farted amongst company? Okay?
One of those silent killers that for whatever reason, you thought it wouldn't smell, but it did and you blamed it on rover. Okay, We as humans ow dogs a massive, massive apology. And what we don't realize is humans, is
that dogs have the ability to detect deception. There was a study that researchers at the University of Vienna did that shows dogs know when your ass is lying, okay, when you're telling him you don't got any more scraps to share, when you're telling her it's too cold outside for a walk in the summertime, when they balking and won't stop barking because they know that man you've got
in your bedroom is not your husband. Yes, research is at the University of Vienna said this week, dogs know when you're lying to them about almost anything.
And what's sad.
Dogs don't speak the same language as humans, so even when they trying to explain to other humans that this human is lying, it just sounds.
Like a bunch of noise, a bunch of barking.
Don't believe me, But we actually have audio footage from the actual traffic stop. This is the actual traffic stop that happened in Colorado with a human who was drunk driving switched seats with his dog.
Let's listen.
Good morning, licensed registration. Please Okay, well, mister Barkley, do you know why I pulled you over? Actually you were swerving in between lanes. Your car smells like kivels and bits, and I see the empty bottles on your floor and you should get a DWB. Oh you puppy, No, not driving while black DWB is a dog with beers. I don't care if you're having a hoof day, you don't drink and drive.
Dog on it.
Now, step out of the car. You just got yourself sent to the dog house.
Free fight.
Oh please give this twenty eight y old Colorado man who switched seats with his dog to avoided DUI the biggest he hull.
It's the damn shame. Will we be doing the dogs nowadays?
All right, so we got I know you're not about to play I'm not about to play a game.
I guess what race it is with the damn dog. Don't look at me like that.
Okay, no, no, I don't even know what race the person is?
Are the dog? All right?
Okay, all right, all right, well thank you for that donkey today everybody on B E T will see you guys tomorrow.
The credits are rolling on BET right now.
That's right, and BET if you're disgusted as I am, you should be because humans are a silly, silly species.
But these are the people you trusted with CHAT, GPT and AI.
All right, well, let's open up the phone lines. Let's play a stupid game. Mhm eight hundred five eight five one. I want to hear from you guys out there. What's the craziest thing you blamed on your dog?
Oh?
Yes, this is a good one. This is a good one. What is the craziest thing you've ever blamed on your dog?
I remember we had a producer here one time and she didn't make it, but I just got to tell a story. She couldn't make it to work because she was locked in the bathroom by her cat. And she said her cat hit the lock button on the on the door knob and locked it in the bathroom.
You know, we love you. You know who you are.
Remember that same person, that same person said that when the law didn't go along and along with that was another time. Yes, so we're asking eight hundred five eight five one oh five one. What's one thing that your dog did that you you know you blamed your dog on that.
You did that you blamed your dog on that's the question, and you owe your dog in apology. Take this time this morning to not only tell us what you lied uh on your dog about, but also to apologize to your dog for lying damn it.
Eight hundred and five eight five to one.
I mean, let's have this conversation. Yes, long overdue. The Breakfast Club.
Donkey today is brought to you by the law office of Michael s Laminsoft. Don't be a donkey. Dot pound two fifty on your cell and say the bull. If you've been hurt in a construction accident, that's pound two five oh, from your cell, and say the bull