Donkey up to day.
Damn he hogged.
It's time for donkey, I mean trying to be donkey today.
No more.
They should be embarrassed by what they already did. I'm not making new people do these days.
Called donkey of the day, and it really caught me off guard.
Damn Charlamagne, who got the donkey.
Out of the day today?
Well, just hilarious.
Donkey of to Day for Thursday, August twenty fourth goes to Wayne Parker. Now, Wayne is a prime example of money cannot buy you happiness and money cannot buy you what we all truly want, and that's love. Folks believe, for whatever reason that once you get the bag, all those things that are included. But the reality is happiness and love are sold separately and you truly can't even purchase.
He's a one to day.
See. Let me tell you the story about Wayne Parker. He's a wanted man. Okay, not wanted by the ladies, wanted by authorities all right, law enforcement, all right. According to the ny Post, he's been running from cops for nearly a year because he committed almost a million dollars in fraud. Oh, I can't make this up. Let's go to Suffix News for the report. Please.
In October twenty twenty two, Wayne Parker of Maldenhall was found guilty of fraudulent trading after obtaining more than seven hundred and sixty five thousand pounds in credit from suppliers. An arrest warrant was issued when Parker failed to appear in court in February this year. Trading standards said Parker presented himself as a livestock owner, which allowed him to be given credit by a wide range of companies. He often made no attempt to settle his debts, and when
he did, repeatedly sent checks that would bounce. Since going on the run, Parker is known to have been using the match dot com dating website and has also been hiring cars in a bid it is believed to avoid detection by the police.
Okay, let me translate a little.
Wayne is thirty five years old and he was found guilty of oweing all those pounds, which equates to nine hundred and seventy thousand dollars in US money to suppliers when he failed to show up in court in February for cenising. And you know when you don't show up to cenising for least beyond your ass, and that's exactly what happened. Wayne Parker has been on the run ever since, and I be leave that Wayne. He's gone to see jay Z and Beyonce's on the Run tour one too
many times. Or from that tour he got the not so bright idea to think he could indeed be on the run and be crazy in love, dangerously in love. But he clearly made this decision when he was drunk in love wanting love, because this man decided to start looking for love.
On Match dot Com.
Now, I've never been on the run, and I would never go on the run if I committed a crime, because like presidential candidate Chris Christy, I just wouldn't be good at running.
But if I.
Did go on the run, I would think the first thing I would do is lay low. All right, that's the whole point of going on the lamb, right all right. Another thing I've never done is been on the dating app Okay, And so I did some research this morning, and by research, I'm in Google, and I realized that there's four easy steps you must do in order to land to date on Match dot com.
First, they say you have.
To nail the end my own words section because they say your profile has two main jobs. The grab a person's attention and keep it. You want to inform intrigue and keep the person wanting more. Wayne couldn't change his identity. He's an international man of mystery. And nothing says intrigue like fraud. So let's look at his dating profile. It says name Wayne Parker. Also goes by the name Sticky Fingers, Steve Scammy, Sammy hit A Lick, Rick Fraud, muhammad In Kazine, Gauzine, Kazeine,
Kauzein is Oh, that's not Jerry. It makes sense now now now, says he says. It says about myself. We's financially stable as of last week. Love, long walks on the beach holding your hand and your debit card. Love, late night conversations about our path and past codes. Uh, which city were you born in? Name of your first pet? Things like that, And it says, I love whispering, sweet, nothing's in your ear? And I love when you whisper your social Security number in the mind. So far, Wayne
Parker is checking off all the boxes. He's captured our attention with an interesting story. He's described his job in an interesting way. Oh, he hasn't actually a job. Oh, his occupation is untraceable. Why transfers, data collecting and telemarketing all makes sense?
Okay.
He described a few of his hobbies and passions in life, and here goes the most important one.
Describe the type of woman you are looking for. Wayne is looking for a woman.
With good credit, a good shoulder on her heads, and somebody who is willing to share their life and pen number with him. Listen, man, Wayne Parker is still out there. I don't know how much longer you can run when all folks got to do is swipe right to see you exist. And I know that it's only a matter of time before you get arrested, because I am sure your match dot com profile is popping right now, and you're not even gonna be able to avoid hooking up
with someone that you met on the site. Okay, and when you get the where you're going, it's gonna be a nice dinner, nice conversation.
Hell, you might even get some dessert and her credit card number.
But when that date is over, authorities will be right there waiting to put you in matching handcuffs to take you to get matching orange jumpsuits and match you up with a salemate who's looking to give you the runs because he wants love to.
Please give Wayne Parker the sweet challenge of the Hamiltons.
Oh no, you are the dog gee of the day, the dog gee all the day. Yee alright.
BTC later who.
All right?
Everybody else? Earlier, Kiki during the room that she reported about Kevin Hart, and Kevin Hart had a little uh kerfuffle.
No, he had a curve forty plus. Let's listen to what he said to.
All my men women out there that are forty years old and above. It's not a game. Respect that age or that age will make you respect it. It's just public serface announcement. Because I know people may see me out and I don't want you to be alarm, but I'm in a wheelchair. Shout out to Steven wildly. I'm gonna go to put this story out there before you do. Me and Steven we got to little debate. This debate was based off of who was faster. Steven said, Kevi
ain't no way you're gonna beat me. Steven is ex NFL running back play for the Patriots. I said, Steve, you can bet it. He said back, I said, bet we get out there, we go run a forty year old dash. Guys, I blew all. My tore my lord abdermen, my abductors are torn. I don't even know what that is, but I tore him. I can't walk. What are we competing for this age?
Why we like?
What am I doing? Stupid?
And now I can't walk because I'm somewhere trying to get the title of the fastest the barbecue?
All right, so.
Question eight hundred and five eight five one oh five one? What are some signs you're getting old?
I'm gonna tell you something, man, this I'm gonna tell you why. This is a great conversation because it's a lot of things you don't know you can do anymore when you forty plus until you do it.
So we are gonna actually save some people this morning. Come about you know what I mean?
No?
What a's some signs?
It was quickly.
I'm just curious you got one.
I had to think about it.
We'll talk about it when we come back after Well, for me, I know the main one is I take grown man naps, That's what I call him.
Oh, I've been doing that.
That's that's nothing. I'm forty five years old. I'm gonn take the natural release for ten years.
We'll talk about it when we come back. All right, eight hundred five eight five one oh five one. Kiki, our co host is here. Our guess co hosts head.
And already told us what she can't do.
What baby, that's just.
Because I'm big, Oh right right, Jesus Christ, It's the Breakfast Club.
Good morning, donkey.
Today is brought to you by the law office of Michael Slammingsoft.
Don't be a donkey. Dob pound two fifty on your cell and say the bull.
If you've been hurting a construction accident, that's pound two five oh from your cell and say the bull.