DONKEY: Florida Man Arrested For Stealing From Jesus - podcast episode cover

DONKEY: Florida Man Arrested For Stealing From Jesus

Oct 24, 20248 min
--:--
--:--
Download Metacast podcast app
Listen to this episode in Metacast mobile app
Don't just listen to podcasts. Learn from them with transcripts, summaries, and chapters for every episode. Skim, search, and bookmark insights. Learn more

Episode description

Charlamagne Tha God Gives Donkey of The Day To Florida Man Who Was Arrested For Stealing From Jesus. Listen For More!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FM

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Wacky through the story out of Florida on the Breakfast clubs. Oh Man, that definish laugh Jesus no, I was laughing. That's what I call those Miller posts with my God call those Miller.

Speaker 2

Listen, Donkey Today for Thursday, October twenty fourth goes to a twenty year old Florida.

Speaker 1

Man named Jeremy Lang.

Speaker 2

Now, what does your uncle Shla always say about the great state of Florida. The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and all of Florida, and today is no exception.

Speaker 1

Now, I'm gonna tell you right now.

Speaker 2

We keep having all these conversations about border security, but I see stories like the one I'm about to tell you, and all I keep thinking is we're building walls for the wrong people.

Speaker 1

We need to build more walls.

Speaker 2

Okay, finish the one at the border, because yes, we need stronger border security.

Speaker 1

But who gonna keep these crazies from within away from us? Okay?

Speaker 2

I'm looking at Jeremy Lang, and I'm saying I need a wall built internally here in America to keep us away from them.

Speaker 1

Who is them? Them? Is the crazies?

Speaker 2

Okay, ste He's a young man, so I can grace only twenty years old. But then I see what he's accused of, and it just reinforces to me that this new era we are in because of social media just has completely completely made people.

Speaker 1

Lose sight of what reality is.

Speaker 2

Hell, if you twenty, you probably don't know what reality is. You never experienced it. You grew up in an era of social media and YouTube and nothing, I repeat nothing will make you out of touch with reality like those platforms. Now, Jeremy Will wanted to steal from Jesus. Okay, what Jesus for the police? Where people worship? Okay Jesus? And that place is a church. Yes, Jeremy was arrested last week for burglarizing a church, and police say he's probably linked to six more.

Speaker 1

What type of table you get in hell for that? Okay?

Speaker 2

I should get you in the VIP section of Club Satan with bottle service. But Jeremy was arrested for burglarizing the church. Let's go to ABC three for the report.

Speaker 3

Police Police say twenty year old Jeremy Lang is responsible for at least seven burglaries over two and a half week span. Surveillance footage we obtained from pastor Clifton Riley at bethel Am Church shows the suspect break several windows before eventually climbing in last Friday night. The pastor tells me he spent less than five minutes inside and left with nothing. Authorities say Lang was spotted Monday night wearing

the same clothes from the surveillance days prior. He was found carrying burglary tools, marijuana, and a stolen.

Speaker 4

Firearm, and PPD says Jeremy Lang provided a false name to them at the time of his arrest. He is charged with one of the burglaries at this church. Other charges are pending from the six other churches that he's burglarized. PPD did not identify the items that he is accused of stealing.

Speaker 2

Now, I definitely could just give him donkey of to day for that, you know what I'm saying, Because you know you stole from the church.

Speaker 1

God definitely got something for this jackass.

Speaker 2

But that's between him and his creative But the reason I'm giving them donkey of to day is not only because he stole from all those churches, but police searched his.

Speaker 1

Cell phone and in his cell.

Speaker 2

Phone he had Internet searches like and I quote how to cut shirt into a mask?

Speaker 1

Jesus, where do church keep money?

Speaker 2

These are actual quotes. Do churches have safes? Let me tell you how he spelled safes? S A f e apostro, three apostrophe, s so s apostrophe.

Speaker 1

This is the one that got me.

Speaker 2

He googled events where you raise money in Pensacola. He was going after all the sweet licks. This man was gonna rob people who were actually doing great things in the community. Events where you raise money in Pensacola. I had to google for myself events where you raise money in Pensacola because I had to see what Jeremy saw.

Speaker 1

I wanted to see what Jeremy saw.

Speaker 2

Okay, would you like to hear some of the events This heathen was plotting on. Fourth Annual brunch Fest Purple Pain Artie. That's the second annual charity event, a Fall Paul po Loser, a pet adoption and charity event together for Tomorrow. Event, fourth Annual Mission two Show and Shine Ends Fall Parts, twenty eighth Annual CCA Pensacola banqueted Auction, Hot Work Hits Cancer Pensacola, East Hill and Northwest.

Speaker 5

Bro He deserved to be under the jail.

Speaker 1

What are you talking about?

Speaker 2

You know what's under the jail now, Okay, you was gonna take money from people raising money for cancer. You was gonna take money from people who are encouraging people to adopt pets. I keep telling y'all, segregation wasn't a bad concept. It was just poorly executed. Should have been based on behavior, not race. Because I don't want people like Jeremy eating in the same establishments I'm eating. Then I don't want people like Jeremy going to the same

schools as my kids. And I damn sure don't want to go to the same church as Jeremy because he's just in there staking the place out. I need to see what human evolution looks like for people like Jeremy. He's twenty, but he thinks he can just google search how to commit a crime against the church, how to commit crimes against the community. He literally searched for how to cut shirt into a mask? Where do church keep money? He was plotting on robbing a pet adoption and charity event.

I don't know if anything man made, I don't know if anything man is created can rehabilitate this human I think even God would have to admit some of the product he created is just defective. Please give Jeremy Lang the biggest he.

Speaker 6

All sorrible what you're looking at?

Speaker 2

Okay, let's play a game of yes what racing. Jeremy Lang, twenty years old from Pensacola, Florida, robbed about five to six churches, and he googled how to He googled how to cut shirt into a mask?

Speaker 1

Where do church keep money?

Speaker 2

DJ and B Guess what?

Speaker 1

White? Okay, not mad at that.

Speaker 2

See, if he was black, he'd have the pool shisty mask already so he wouldn't need to cut a mask into it.

Speaker 1

So good that I'm going. I'm going with good use of context.

Speaker 2

Lauren LaRosa Jeremy Lang, twenty years older, Pensacola, Florida, robbed about five to six churches, google things like do churches have safes?

Speaker 1

And using apostrophe in safes? Guess what?

Speaker 5

I hate to do this to us us?

Speaker 1

What do you mean?

Speaker 6

I think he's black? I hate it. I think he watched a little bit of Like Too Much a first Sunday.

Speaker 4

M hm.

Speaker 6

Hm, Yeah, I think he's one of I hate that though, but I think he's one of us.

Speaker 1

Posture phees Well DJ MV Lauren Lroossa.

Speaker 2

I want you both to know that you are absolutely positively wrong.

Speaker 1

Yes, both of you all are wrong. Jeremy Lang is not white. Jeremy Lang is not black. J Lang is.

Speaker 5

How did you think he was gonna get away with that hair like that?

Speaker 1

Like you would see that here?

Speaker 2

Marloway, I don't care if you wreaped your face with a T shirt a sweatshirt.

Speaker 5

You can see that hand stick it out.

Speaker 6

I'm convinced after seeing that that and word did it for the mixtape.

Speaker 5

He needed content for his mixtape.

Speaker 1

Look at him.

Speaker 2

Look at him, Okay, look at him, prostut. This man looks suspicious in any neighborhood. I don't care what neighborhood he is. Then he looked suspicious black neighborhoods, white neighborhoods. This man will get the police called on him.

Speaker 6

He came out, he looked like he came out the womb and doing all the wrong stuff.

Speaker 5

Yo.

Speaker 1

Wow, even in his mockshut, he's like he got his bought up. Like when I get out of here, I'm coming straight to the past.

Speaker 6

You gotta be a different type of dumb to try and rob the people.

Speaker 1

Of God Jesus. All right, well, thank you for that. Donkey Today.

Speaker 2

Donkey Today is sponsored by renowned person injury attorney Michael to Bull Lambing's soft. Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured, go to Michael to Bull dot com. That's Michael to Bull dot com. And when you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Wake that ass up in the morning.

Speaker 1

The Breakfast Club

Transcript source: Provided by creator in RSS feed: download file
For the best experience, listen in Metacast app for iOS or Android