Make sure you're telling them to watch out of Florida, Milor.
The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and all of Flourida.
Yes, you are a donkey.
A Florida man attapped an ATM for a very strange reason.
It gave him too much money. Florida man is arrested after that wine stay. He rigged the door to his home in an attempt to electric hit his presnant lights. Police arrested in Orlando man were talking at from.
Ladas the Breakfast Club, bitch you Donkey of the day with Charlam Payne, the guy.
I don't know why y'all keep letting him get y'all liket.
Before we do Donkey today, I want to tell y'all too that first of all, dropping a clues box for l Coja and.
The roots right absolutely out.
That interview will be up on YouTube and it's how long is it? Iur in thirty hour and thirty minutes. So yeah, great conversation. Yes, Donkey today for Wednesday, August nine goes.
To Derek Porter.
Now Derek is a Georgia man, but this incident happened in Panama City Beach, Florida. So it's clearly something in the water in Florida. You spend too much time there, you get hit with that Florida fool gene. Now what does younkle y'all always say about the great state of Florida. The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and all of Florida, and today is no exception. Okay, Derek Porter,
you are a Florida man today. Now let me start with the headline courtesy of news Channel eight Florida, because I love the headlines when they come from Florida. Okay, when this Florida foolishness, all the headlines be amazing.
Okay, first off, the headline reads Florida.
Then it says man breaks into Florida church, baptizes himself before stealing money.
Let's go to news channel wait for the report.
Police mid morning man not ended today with a Georgia man in custody bake On. The Sheriff's deputies arrested Derek Porter on burglary, criminal misship, and several drug charges. I said that Porter broke into the Emerald Beach Church of God on alf Coleman and Panama City Beach this morning.
He allegedly used a cinder block to smash your window, which a larder of the church employee who fled authority said that Porter calls about eight thousand dollars a damage, took some electronic equipment and the church money bag.
Depaniese.
Kannamut City Beach police canine, you just descended on the church and arrested border. They say he had mathem and paraphernalia. Porter supposedly claimed that he could not remember what happened inside of the church, at least not most of it, but he did say he remembered baptizing himself in the church's baptism pool, and he claimed something was holding his head under the water. Porter was already free on bond for a burglary in Georgia.
There's so much wrong with this.
First of all, using to send the block to break the church's windows, to break into the church. Now, I know, Scripture says that God does not live in houses made by human hands, so I'm not gonna say the church is God's house. But it is a place of positivity for the most part, a place with people congregate in worship, a place where people go to seek forgiveness and salvation. To break the church's windows may not send you to hell, but damn it, it shaw not creating.
Positive energy in your life either.
This sounds like this brother watched First Sunday with Ice Cuban Tracy Morgan one too many times. All Right, the church is the place where you go to learn about the most forgiving entity of ever God. Okay, keyword is for giving, all right. In Derek's mind, he looked at the church to be responsible for giving him money. All Right, Listen, we know every church collects tithes and offerings and of course the building fund that don't really be building anything.
But never did we ever think to rob the church? Have we ever thought about taking back our twenty dollars? You know what I'm saying that we put in a collection Playton, you know, putting in a five or a couple ones instead. Yes, Okay, every Sunday we think about that when you're given your offering. But you really pushing God's forgiveness when you take the criminal actions in the church.
Now, let's keep in mind.
That police said they found meth and drug paraphernilia on Derek, so he was probably high out of his mind and when he tells police that he could not remember what happened during various moments inside the church. It's because he was high, all right, But he does remember baptizing himself in the church's baptistory pool.
It's safe to say he was high out of his mind if that's what he thinks.
Okay, See porter claims something was holding his head down under the water while letting the pool. Derek, let me be the first to tell you that you were experiencing a meth induced psychosis. All right, hallucination. You weren't being baptized. You were swimming, all right. You took a lap or two in the church's pool. Now, can you baptize yourself?
Sure?
All right. It's not the pattern laid out in the Bible, nor is it the recommended method of being baptized. However, if you truly understand the purpose of water baptism that is revealed and the word of.
God, okay, you can do it, all right.
And if you have no one who was able to baptize you at the time, then of course you might do it yourself. But don't listen to me, okay, because there's not a Jakes or robertson my name. So I could be totally wrong, but I don't think breaking into a church being high off meth if the right environment are setting for a baptism.
Now, let me tell you something else.
Let me tell you where else this man went wrong and why he's truly getting donke here to day to day.
You're broken to the church. Okay, send the block to the window. Bang. He cost eight thousand dollars worth of damage to the church.
Then you stole all the electronics, TV's computers, and the church's money bag. That's why you're being charged with burglary of an occupied instructure. Is the thing your order was off, my brother, Okay, you're broken to the church and baptize yourself first.
And then committed all these sins.
If you was gonna do it, you should have broken to the church, stole what you wanted to steal, and save the baptism for last, because the whole point of baptism is to wash it where your sins correct. What you did is the equivalent of taking a shower and then doing a number two. Okay, you are a different type of human, basically a psychopath.
If you shower, then do a number two on purpose. Okay, I understand.
Sometimes you know happens, all right, but nobody purposely takes the shower and then does the number two, Just like nobody walks into a church, gets baptized and then sins on purpose. You might sin after you get baptized, but not on purpose, like you have to pick one, Derek. All right, if you're gonna break into a church and steal, you have to get baptized at a later date, but your damn show it on. Baptize yourself first and then sin. Please give Derek Porter the sweet signs and the Hamilton's.
Oh no, you are the day, the doge ah the day. Ye.
Now, I can't prove any of this, but but I feel like e j Envy showers and then takes the number two on purpose.
What do you think, Ashley? That is that what you're thinking about? Why?
Because the way you looked when I said it, No, yes, when I said it, you looked.
Like he was unfazed. What's wrong with that? No, that's not not true at all. But the way you just asked that question, it seems like you just answer. Won't you just answer the question? What if I poop my shower, do you shower and then poop on purpose though, No, okay, just you are a liar, and you a liar. That's not true. Okay, when I pop my shower, all right, I'm not judging. Why are you all on my butt? I'm not not, nor do I want to be. Why you're asking? B E T will see you guys tomorrow.
Piece BT Donkey today is brought to you by.
The law office of Michael s. Lammisoft. Don't be a donkey. Dot pound two fifty on your cell and say the bull. If you've been hurt in a construction accident, that's pound two five ozo from your cell and say the bull.